1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:02,419 [knocking] 2 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:05,088 Ben? Everyone gets opening night jitters! 3 00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:06,673 ♪ 4 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,800 - I'm good. - My review was going to be a pan. 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,054 This one... just didn't sing. 6 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,139 NYPD, motherfuckers! 7 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,140 The stalker, he didn't do it! 8 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:18,936 The killer is someone in this room. 9 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,396 We've got to get in on those interviews. 10 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,316 - [whirring, grinding] - The spooky sound from opening night. 11 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,360 Someone was in here shredding something. 12 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,403 We need to reassemble these. There might be a clue. 13 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,907 OLIVER: We have the interrogations on tape. 14 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,617 CHARLES: We recorded everything. 15 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,786 OLIVER: You don't owe me any explanation. 16 00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,663 Th-The book is a little odd. 17 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,707 MABEL: These aren't photos of Ben. They're photos of Dickie. 18 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,545 When he was gone for those brief moments, I felt free. 19 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,088 And then he was back. 20 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,340 DICKIE: I couldn't take it anymore. 21 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,217 DONNA: You spend your whole life looking out for your child, 22 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,845 and you'll do anything to make sure they're okay. 23 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,888 ♪ 24 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,057 Wait! I did it. I killed Ben. 25 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,810 No, you can't do this! Leave her alone! [handcuffs clicking] 26 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,311 [Holter monitor beeping] Oh, my God... 27 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,689 MABEL: Oliver? What's going on? Oliver! [grunts] 28 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,107 CHARLES: Call somebody! Get some help! 29 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,445 ♪ soft piano playing ♪ 30 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,742 MABEL: When I was 10, 31 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,620 my future looked so clear to me. 32 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,081 Married to Josh Hartnett 33 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:25,502 with two kids, driving a Honda Odyssey. 34 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,672 Not a bad life. 35 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,009 Got another one coming. Push. 36 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:35,012 Wait, what's going on? There's been a mistake. 37 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:38,640 I came here to see one of my friends. He had a heart attack. 38 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,018 Don't worry. You did great with the first two. 39 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,353 Just keep pushing. You're having triplets. 40 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,397 No, I'm-- Triplets? 41 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:49,568 - [mic feedback] - And now, baby three! 42 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:53,488 MABEL: But here's the thing about childhood fantasies. 43 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,365 They almost never come true. 44 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,242 DOCTOR: Congratulations. 45 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,244 It's a podcast. 46 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,413 - Wah! [sucking] - Mama! 47 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,248 - Wah! Wah! - Mabel... Mabel. 48 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,417 - Mabel! Mabel! - Wah! 49 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,544 OLIVER: Mabel! [EKG beeping] 50 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,254 The doctor said I can finally go home. 51 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,256 - What? No, no, no, no, no. - Yeah. 52 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,051 The man had a full-on heart attack five days ago. 53 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,511 You rush him in here, 54 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,013 stick in a stent to prop up his creaky artery. 55 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,765 - Nobody said creaky. - Now, you're just gonna go 56 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,517 and send him off into the world? 57 00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,143 OLIVER: Mabel, I need to get back. 58 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,811 My show opens in two days, 59 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,813 and my star is about to be charged with murder. 60 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,191 Doctor, maybe you should just run a few more tests to be sure? 61 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,985 His body responded very well to the stent. 62 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,655 Although I'm sure it was quite a scare for all of you. 63 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,156 [scoffs] I wasn't scared. 64 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,616 Oh, is that so? 65 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,786 You know, I was just pretending to be unconscious when I heard you wailing, 66 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,829 "I can't let him go! 67 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,582 Come back to me, you sweet son of a bitch!" 68 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,334 I was doing a performance for the nurses. 69 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,044 They're big fans of mine. What am I gonna do? 70 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,629 Not be Charles-Haden Savage? 71 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:52,631 Oh, admit it. You're obsessed with me. 72 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,842 Can't believe I actually missed this. 73 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,926 ♪ 74 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,970 Come on, Putnam. We've got work to do. 75 00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,304 Yes, yes, yes. CHARLES: Let's go. 76 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,515 MABEL: For starters, 77 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:05,352 if Loretta made up her confession to protect her son, 78 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,479 don't we need to prove that her son 79 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,648 is Ben's real killer to get her out? 80 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,275 Loretta's been in jail a few days now. 81 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:14,528 I wonder if she's shaved her head and gotten all jacked. 82 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,031 I can't let her take the fall for this. She's the love of my life. 83 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,701 Love? I thought you were just hooking up. 84 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,370 Oh, we hooked up. 85 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,414 We hooked up big time. 86 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,458 We hooked up and down and every which direction. 87 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,752 - You name a way, we did a hook. - Okay, alright, thank you. Enough. Okay. 88 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,463 I promise we will get her home to you. 89 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,549 No matter how many face tattoos she has now. 90 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,634 Charles, did you learn anything 91 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:40,804 from those police interrogations we so skillfully recorded? 92 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,431 Actually, we haven't watched them yet. 93 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,600 We were sitting by your bedside this whole time. 94 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,394 Mabel wanted to wait so you could be a part of it. 95 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,395 Little softy. 96 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,938 - Aw! - No! I-- 97 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,440 I didn't-- It wasn't like I was like, 98 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,193 "Let's hold hands and watch it together." It was just like... 99 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,403 Shut up. 100 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,489 [Oliver chuckles] Okay, we're focusing on Dickie. 101 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,117 Loretta clearly thinks that he's guilty. 102 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,703 That's why she confessed to protect him. 103 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,163 Ben was poisoned, 104 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,498 and then later pushed down the elevator shaft. 105 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,252 But, we don't know whose hanky he was holding onto 106 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,130 when he died. I mean, it could be Dickie's. 107 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:19,218 We know that someone wrote "fucking pig" in lipstick on his mirror, 108 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,345 and we have footage of him in a heated moment 109 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,180 talking to an unseen person, 110 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,765 possibly a lover. 111 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:28,477 C-Can we just take a beat to appreciate how magical this is? 112 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:32,856 The three of us, reunited at last, investigating as one. 113 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:36,318 Mabel, you stayed faithful to the podcast. 114 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,070 You should take the lead. 115 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,072 Just... the besties are back. 116 00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,241 Ooh! That should be our opening line! 117 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,201 You just said Mabel should take the lead. 118 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,203 Can't I make a suggestion? 119 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,622 I narrowly escaped death, and now you won't let me live? 120 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,832 Oh, wah, wah. 121 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,835 - Wah, wah! - Wah, wah! 122 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,837 Oh, this is fucking weird. 123 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:58,173 Okay, okay. The besties are back. 124 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,508 [recorder beeps] 125 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,760 The besties are back. 126 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,012 It may take two to tango, 127 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,598 but it takes three to solve the murder 128 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,476 of an ill-fated movie star. 129 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,145 Welcome to a brand-new episode of 130 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,148 - Only Murders in the Building. - Perfection. 131 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,151 ♪ lively theme song playing ♪ 132 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,154 ♪ vocalizing ♪ 133 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:06,700 ♪ 134 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,245 Let's just question Dickie without spilling that Loretta's his mother. 135 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:11,955 - It's not our place to tell him. - Right. 136 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,415 [door opens] 137 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,458 Oh! 138 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,712 This one's for you. 139 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:21,298 Why do you still have packages coming here? 140 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,593 Our geriatric doorman obviously forgot I'm back from the hospital. 141 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,678 Lester's six months younger than you. 142 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,389 "Get well soon and find me a new leading lady. 143 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,891 Smooches, Donna." 144 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,770 We are not gonna need a new leading lady. 145 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:35,771 Oh, my God. 146 00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:38,774 ♪ 147 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,859 Joy's wedding dress. 148 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,946 She had her mom send the one she was married in, 149 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,448 so Joy could have it altered for when she and I were... 150 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,202 - I'll take this. - Yeah. 151 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,497 Joy's mom is still alive? 152 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,749 Oh, yeah. Her dad, too. In fact, 153 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,168 he was gonna walk her down the aisle holding her childhood dog. 154 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,713 We ready to go? Uh, clock's ticking. 155 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,215 OLIVER: Okay. [sighs] 156 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,971 So, Loretta, huh? 157 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,556 I did not see that coming. OLIVER: Yeah. 158 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,015 Yeah. Us neither. 159 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,434 Hey, you wanna hear something funny? For a minute, 160 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,811 we thought you did it. 161 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,145 [awkward laughter] 162 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,106 You did? Wh-Why? 163 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,609 Ah, it's so dumb. We, um, 164 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,529 we just know he stole CoBro from you. OLIVER: Uh-huh. 165 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:26,780 Oh. 166 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,449 Shit. Really? 167 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:34,162 Okay. Yeah, I was resentful. 168 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,833 Yeah, and you told me you cover up things, 169 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,461 so I kinda figured you covered up his blood work 170 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,630 to hide the poison in his system. 171 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,465 I did do that. 172 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,302 I mean, I didn't know he was poisoned when I did it. 173 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,180 I just knew there was other stuff in there he wouldn't want getting out. 174 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,557 Wait, you believe me, right? 175 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,642 Oh, of course. Yes. 176 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,311 Out of curiosity, 177 00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,439 where were you when Ben was pushed to his death? 178 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,441 Because you weren't pushing him, obviously. 179 00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:05,903 E-Everyone knows that. But, uh, unless... 180 00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,613 I left your party early. 181 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:11,158 I was freaked the fuck out that Ben came back to life 182 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,701 and I had to get outta there. 183 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,495 So, I... 184 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:20,250 [sighs] I got wasted, put on Ben's CoBro suit, 185 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,294 and went looking for drugs and whores. 186 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,088 - Well, who wouldn't? - Wow. 187 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,798 Why should he have all the fun? 188 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,759 That's what Ben was into? 189 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:32,137 Every Thursday, he'd disappear for hours. 190 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,641 And when I asked about it, he'd say, "Snitches get stitches." 191 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:40,020 So, I tracked his phone to a place on Broadway 192 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,147 between 35th and 36th, 193 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,732 where he'd go to... 194 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,569 do sex with his "five whores," 195 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,906 as he so affectionately called them. 196 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,575 He even saved opening night seats for them. 197 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:57,538 Uh, Trixie, Marigold, Emerald, Dot, and Mei Mei. 198 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,248 Here. [sighs] 199 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:02,251 ♪ 200 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,963 I was outside, screaming for them 201 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,048 to bring me the five whores. 202 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,217 I slept there all night. 203 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,718 A dog peed on me. 204 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,429 I hope it was a dog. 205 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:19,059 This is proof you weren't at the Arconia when Ben was pushed. 206 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,436 The cops got that image from a security camera 207 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,146 after I told them where I was, 208 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,815 but they didn't really buy it as an alibi, 209 00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:26,859 since you can't fully see my face. 210 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:30,612 I guess I should just be grateful there isn't audio. 211 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,282 [sighs] 212 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,576 I just can't believe Loretta did it. 213 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:39,663 Well, for what it's worth, w-we don't think she really did do it. 214 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,583 But why else would she confess? 215 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,627 - No idea. - Oh, yeah, theater folk, cuckoo! 216 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:46,670 [forced laugh] 217 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,797 Wait a minute. 218 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,925 If you guys think the killer's still out there, 219 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,927 I should probably call my lawyer. 220 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,058 CHARLES: Hm. [phone stops recording] 221 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,019 Guys, if he's telling the truth, 222 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,437 he couldn't have pushed Ben. 223 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,607 That means that Loretta gave herself up for someone who didn't even do it. 224 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,192 If we can find the real killer in time, 225 00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,153 maybe we can convince Loretta to take back her confession. 226 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:13,322 Charles, her arraignment is at 5:00 p.m. 227 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:16,783 We need to figure out what Ben was doing and who he was seeing 228 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,578 in the last few days leading up to his death. 229 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:22,247 I say we start at Broadway and 35th. 230 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,584 Except we can't just walk into a brothel without a reservation. 231 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:28,128 ♪ 232 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,755 I know what we need. 233 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,049 [distant siren] Nobody stops a guy with a ladder! 234 00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:35,427 - It gets you in anywhere. - [sighs] So the ladder's the new turkey. 235 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,179 It might work better if the guy carrying the ladder 236 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,972 wasn't also wearing orthopedic shoes 237 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,099 - and dressed like a leprechaun. - Hm. 238 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,476 Hey, hey, this is it. 239 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,647 Snitches Get Stitches? 240 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:50,359 - It's a fabric shop. - No, no, no, no, no. It's a front. 241 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:53,570 Brothels always use puns to name their fake businesses. 242 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,948 I learned that by wandering in the back of a cabinet shop 243 00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:58,075 called All By My Shelf. 244 00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,494 Follow my lead! Let the ladder do the work. 245 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,454 Wait a second! I have a better way in. 246 00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:04,039 No one says no to a crying man. 247 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,458 I did a scene in Brazzos, episode 315. 248 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,752 The Foreign Exchange Killer. It was a good one. 249 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:11,255 And I cried a single solitary tear. 250 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:14,132 And that week, our fan mail went sky high. 251 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,051 Mostly from men. You wanna know why? 252 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,512 You helped them access their inner feelings. 253 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,097 Yes. 254 00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,890 But just gimme a go. Gimme the stage. 255 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,600 No, no, no, no. 256 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,270 Me first. [struggling] CHARLES: Stop it! 257 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,940 Just here to change a light bulb! 258 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,733 No, you can't go back there. 259 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,777 - [door shuts] - Of course not, dude. 260 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,239 We all know what's going on in the back room. 261 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,699 Wink, wink. 262 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,951 But did you see my ladder? 263 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:45,622 [phony crying] 264 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,170 I'm sorry. Is my crying upsetting you? 265 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,713 You're not crying. 266 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,423 Give it a minute. 267 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,467 [wheezing] 268 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,262 [grunting, gasps] 269 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,638 This guy's made of stone. 270 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,432 Do you have any menthol for under the eyes? 271 00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,267 Yeah, I have a bucket of menthol. 272 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,938 [grunting, straining] 273 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:13,066 Do you need a restroom? We have one in the back. 274 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:17,237 - Oh! Thank you so much. Get in there. - Thanks. 275 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,238 OLIVER: Ooh! 276 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,450 [sewing machines whirring] 277 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,621 You're the five whores? 278 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,580 [machines stop] 279 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,165 MABEL: Please ignore him! 280 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,959 I'm sorry. We were just looking for a group of women 281 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,794 who might have known Ben Glenroy, 282 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,338 - but we'll just get out of the way. - Sorry. 283 00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:35,631 Benny! 284 00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:38,342 Oh, yes! We knew him! 285 00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:41,803 Our sewing circle met here every Thursday. 286 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:45,015 Benny said sewing kept him off 287 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,518 all those dangerous street drugs. 288 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,021 We miss him terribly. 289 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,775 When was the last time you saw him? 290 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,610 Oh, um, 291 00:12:56,610 --> 00:13:00,572 his big opening night of Death Rattle. 292 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,908 ♪ 293 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,203 [whirring] We'd stayed up all night helping him sew 294 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,998 these lovely hankies for his cast and crew 295 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,834 while running lines. 296 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:15,838 "Everyone else in that lighthouse is dead, Nanny. 297 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:19,758 So the killer is either you, me, or the baby." 298 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:25,097 SEAMSTRESSES: "I wouldn't bet on that baby, detective." 299 00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:28,225 He wanted to make something special for them. 300 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,185 Something personal. 301 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:33,146 He said he treated a lot of them 302 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,066 like a steaming pile of cow manure. 303 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:40,153 We finished those hankies just in time, 304 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,823 and off Benny went to the theater. 305 00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:43,949 Thank you. Thank you. 306 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,659 I'm gonna see you all at the theater, ladies. 307 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,452 - We're rooting for you. Bye. - Love you. [kissing] 308 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,037 TRIXIE: But then... 309 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,915 Mei Mei, my phone. 310 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,173 BEN [on phone]: Uh, hey! 311 00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:01,466 It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny. 312 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,926 Um... 313 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:05,637 A-Are you guys coming to the show? 314 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,140 I really need you t-to be here. 315 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:11,852 Uh, I've just never felt... so alone. 316 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,146 [knocking on door] OLIVER [on phone]: Ben? 317 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:17,941 Everyone gets opening night jitters! I can talk you through it. 318 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,526 That's me just before curtain. 319 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,320 BEN [on phone]: I-I gotta go. Please get here soon. 320 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,531 I'm surrounded by people I can't trust. They're all out to get me. 321 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:28,327 TRIXIE: It's so hard to hear him like that. 322 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:32,331 He was so excited for us to see the show. 323 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:33,832 [sighs] 324 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,001 - Alright. Okay. Okay. - Thank you. 325 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:38,212 - Sorry. - Thank you. Sorry. Thank you so much. 326 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,506 Oh, this... 327 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:44,218 It's a gift for you. It's a-a ladder. 328 00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,511 Oh, thank you! 329 00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:46,970 Sorry for calling you whores. 330 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,931 Oh, that's alright. 331 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,682 I used to be one. 332 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:55,020 Okay. That's... interesting. Bye. 333 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:58,899 MABEL: So what happened from the time Ben arrived at the theater, 334 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:02,861 on top of the world, to leaving a distressed voicemail 335 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,906 30 minutes later? I mean, 336 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,699 who did he think was out to get him? 337 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:11,203 I already know how we can find out. The interrogations. 338 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:14,498 Williams questioned everyone who crossed paths with Ben that night, 339 00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,458 and we can use those interrogations 340 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,877 to make a timeline of that 30 minutes! 341 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:23,799 Ah! I knew you were due for a good idea since your last one six months ago. 342 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,217 - Huh? - When you proposed 343 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,928 we go halfsies on a New Yorker digital subscription. 344 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,721 - That was your idea. - Oh, good. 345 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,558 You owe me $32, and I'm keeping the free tote. 346 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,184 Shh, guys. 347 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,644 KT's up first. 348 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,940 KT [on video]: All actors must be at the theater for what we call "half hour." 349 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,735 Boots on the ground 30 minutes before curtain. 350 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,655 Not 28, not 29, 30. 351 00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,323 ♪ 352 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,825 Ben, of course, was late. 353 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,618 [bags rustling] 354 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,995 [sighs] 355 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,122 Check it! I have gifts for everyone. 356 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:58,083 Where the fuck have you been? Get into costume! 357 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,334 Go! 358 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,170 KT sure knows how to kill a mood. 359 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:04,256 Someone should really talk to her about her tone. 360 00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,759 - Oh, the producer's son is up next. - Oh, Cliff. 361 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:11,054 I saw Ben right after KT yelled at him. 362 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,807 Not a fan of her tone. 363 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,476 Schmackary's? They're so good. 364 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,145 Mom ordered them special. 365 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,189 Check out the rattles. Can you even? 366 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:24,026 You know what, get those away from me. I'm fasting till after the show. 367 00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,904 Wait! No. 368 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,198 Let me just smell 'em. 369 00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,284 [deep sniff] Oh, g-- 370 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:33,911 I said get them away from me! 371 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:38,081 Hey, listen. I need you to check on my five guests for tonight. 372 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,585 Emerald, Trixie, Marigold, Dot, and Mei Mei. 373 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,754 The five whores. 374 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,466 Sorry. I-- That's how I learned them in my brain. 375 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:49,760 Charles, can you scooch a little? 376 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,929 - Sure. - Thanks. 377 00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:54,431 So that's new. Ben was fasting before the show. 378 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,184 Let's keep going. [click] 379 00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,311 DICKIE [on computer]: I'll admit, I was furious with Ben. 380 00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,063 I mean, who shows up late to his opening night? 381 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:04,066 It was always something with him, which is why... 382 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:09,238 [sighs] Loretta was encouraging me to leave him. 383 00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,073 ♪ 384 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,075 I just... [sighs] 385 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:17,246 I just think you deserve so much better, you know? 386 00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:19,831 Look at your arm. Aw... 387 00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,459 These are stress hives. 388 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,294 I call 'em "Benny bites." 389 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,754 [Loretta groans] 390 00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,590 What about that cortisone cream I gave you? 391 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,551 Did you use that? DICKIE: I did. 392 00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:34,346 How did we not get that she's his mother? 393 00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:36,181 I feel she's about to give him a bottle. 394 00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:39,142 Doesn't Loretta look pretty? 395 00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:42,229 And did you make that list of bullet points 396 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,939 to say when you quit? 397 00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,817 That always helps me, I tell you. 398 00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:48,110 Sure. Yeah. 399 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,778 Uh-oh, incoming. 400 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,156 - Hey! - You losers passing notes? 401 00:17:53,699 --> 00:17:56,201 Okay, I'm gonna go warm up. 402 00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:59,037 See you at fight call. 403 00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:03,000 Give it! [laughs] 404 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,588 Wait, what is this? 405 00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:10,757 Are you quitting? 406 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,802 I was gonna wait till after the show. 407 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,185 Sh-She put you up to this. 408 00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,270 'Cause you know fucking Loretta, she's been... 409 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,397 she's been driving a wedge between us from day one. 410 00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,357 It's not Loretta! It's you! 411 00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:31,361 I've spent my entire life catering to the great Ben Glenroy! 412 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:34,156 Who we all know isn't exactly a delight to be around! 413 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,116 See bullet point four! 414 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,117 Ju-- 415 00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:39,620 You know what? Fine. Alright, fine. Go. 416 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,038 Fuck if I care! 417 00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,292 You're a lousy manager anyway. 418 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,211 And you know what? And you're an even lousier brother. 419 00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:48,629 I know you think you created it, 420 00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:50,547 but I am CoBro! 421 00:18:52,883 --> 00:18:54,593 Actually, no. You know what? 422 00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:56,428 The way you just betrayed me? 423 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,347 I'm NoBro. 424 00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:00,140 Because I don't have a brother anymore. 425 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:03,143 ♪ 426 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:10,067 OLIVER: Loretta was encouraging Dickie to leave Ben? 427 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,194 Messy, messy. Who's next? [click] 428 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:15,489 After Ben arrived, I went to KT's office to get the ritual broom. 429 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,533 The door was locked, 430 00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,368 which I thought was odd. 431 00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:20,869 [rattling knob] 432 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,663 That's odd. 433 00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:25,040 [shredder whirring, grinding] 434 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,292 ♪ 435 00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:31,046 I'll do a progress check on the shredder. 436 00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:36,844 And so, it was the brilliant Howard Francis Morris 437 00:19:36,844 --> 00:19:38,387 who cracked the case 438 00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,930 [wind blowing] by-- Oh, fuckity fuck! 439 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,057 [text notification chimes] 440 00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,892 Howard says he needs more time. 441 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,269 If I'm not mistaken, 442 00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:47,813 next up is Ben and Loretta's fight call rehearsal. 443 00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:50,732 Oh, she told me about this on our date. [click] 444 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:54,528 Well, Ben accused me of trying to steal Dickie from him. 445 00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,196 And this was just moments 446 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:59,157 after he learned his brother was quitting. 447 00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,493 [Ben panting] 448 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:03,745 ♪ 449 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,748 - You're late. - Whatever. Let's just do this. 450 00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:10,043 That's enough, Detective. 451 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,879 I'm not gonna let you take that baby. 452 00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:14,006 You are just a nanny. 453 00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:16,383 You can't keep him. You're not the mother. 454 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,219 He needs me to be his mother now. [grunts] 455 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,764 It's my job to protect him as if he were born of my own flesh! 456 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,850 Wow, this dialogue really lines up. 457 00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:27,519 What are you... [gasps] 458 00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,605 Stay out of our lives! 459 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,856 - What? - I mean it! 460 00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:33,025 Stay the fuck away from my brother. [Loretta yelps] 461 00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:34,067 ♪ 462 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,028 LORETTA: He's been nothing but loyal to you! 463 00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,237 All you do is treat him like shit! 464 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,156 You weaseled your way into this production. 465 00:20:39,156 --> 00:20:42,367 No! Let me go, you fucking pig. CHARLES: Hey, look. 466 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,535 There's me. 467 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:44,870 God, I'm pale. 468 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:46,038 What the hell's going on? 469 00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,748 Is that what I sound like? 470 00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:49,458 He attacked me! 471 00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:51,835 BEN: What? No, I didn't. We were rehearsing. 472 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,755 - Stay out of it, fuck bag. - Hey! [grunts] 473 00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,343 That's... 474 00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:02,054 My face! 475 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,936 I still can't believe you hit him. 476 00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:11,188 Well, why don't you add "for good reason" to the board? 477 00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:13,815 Or "Charles punches Ben and he had it coming"? 478 00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:16,568 Anyway, this is where Joy comes in to touch up the bruise, 479 00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:19,655 - which wasn't that bad anyway. - Yeah, easy, Cassius. 480 00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:23,617 Joy leaves her lipstick behind in Ben's dressing room, and... 481 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:26,912 who's the next person to see him? 482 00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,039 ♪ 483 00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:31,583 [click] DONNA [on computer]: I did see Ben, yes. 484 00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:35,295 It was right after I gave Cliff a little pep talk. 485 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,338 [laughs] 486 00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,175 My tummy is in knots. 487 00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,969 Oh, it's almost showtime. 488 00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:44,513 I've put everything into this play. I need it to be a hit. 489 00:21:44,513 --> 00:21:47,599 Oh, it will be. I won't let you fail, sweetie. 490 00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,768 Here's a kiss from Mommy. [footsteps approaching] 491 00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,144 BEN: Hey! 492 00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,814 Wh-Where are my guests? I don't see them in their seats. 493 00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:55,732 Yeah, I think traffic's pretty bad. 494 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,901 Something's happening at the UN. I don't know what. 495 00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:01,613 You know, I'm boycotting global politics until everyone just gets along. 496 00:22:02,823 --> 00:22:03,824 Fuck. 497 00:22:03,824 --> 00:22:05,325 DONNA: I'm going to be straight with you, Ben. 498 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:08,370 It's opening night, and you look like shit. 499 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:09,997 Can you see a mark? 500 00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:13,125 - What? - It's f-fucking Charles and Loretta. 501 00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:14,751 I-I'm done with them both! 502 00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:17,337 I don't know what's going on with you, darling, 503 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,548 but this is not a good energy. 504 00:22:19,548 --> 00:22:21,008 Go to your dressing room. 505 00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:22,676 Be nice to Ben. 506 00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,180 Do whatever it takes to get your ass ready to go on that stage. 507 00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,098 [sighs] Alright. 508 00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:29,683 ♪ 509 00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,727 TOBERT: Oh, hey, you're here! 510 00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,562 Yeah, where the shit else would I be? 511 00:22:33,562 --> 00:22:36,398 Right. Well, how about we start shooting some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh? 512 00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:39,610 Look, dude, you-- I-I'm not an animal in your zoo. 513 00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:41,069 What? 514 00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:42,779 I'm doing the thing you're paying me to do. 515 00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:45,532 - You know what? Not anymore. - Wait! 516 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:48,118 Gimme that! Why don't you fuck the fuck off? 517 00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,913 You know what? Fucking happy to! 518 00:22:51,872 --> 00:22:52,873 [punches door] 519 00:22:52,873 --> 00:22:55,876 ♪ 520 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,592 So, Ben takes Tobert's camera 521 00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:07,012 into his dressing room where he's caught talking to somebody. 522 00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:08,430 Watch. 523 00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:10,057 [clicking] 524 00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,434 I want you so fucking bad. 525 00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,520 [sighs] 526 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,813 But you're gonna ruin my career. 527 00:23:17,856 --> 00:23:19,358 And I'm gonna like it. 528 00:23:19,358 --> 00:23:21,193 Who the hell is he talking to? 529 00:23:21,193 --> 00:23:23,570 Everyone's accounted for. 530 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:26,865 This, my friends, is what we call a dead end. 531 00:23:26,865 --> 00:23:28,283 ♪ 532 00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:30,869 [sighing] 533 00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:33,872 I told Ben, "I know what you did." 534 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,417 But I didn't have the whole picture. 535 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,421 H-His brother was leaving him. 536 00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,923 I punched him. 537 00:23:43,674 --> 00:23:46,301 He was fasting. 538 00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:49,680 His elderly sewing ladies got stuck in UN traffic 539 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,306 and didn't even see the show. 540 00:23:51,849 --> 00:23:53,350 And all this goes on 541 00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:56,270 30 minutes before his Broadway debut 542 00:23:56,270 --> 00:24:00,065 after being up all night making hankies for everybody? 543 00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:02,818 Oh, my God. 544 00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:08,323 It was Ben who needed a hanky to cry into. 545 00:24:09,116 --> 00:24:10,909 [sobs] Oh jeez! 546 00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,077 Oh! 547 00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:15,330 The damn has burst! 548 00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:19,293 [sobbing] 549 00:24:20,794 --> 00:24:22,045 Nah, there's a little bit. 550 00:24:22,045 --> 00:24:24,173 - There's a little something. - Eh, not much. 551 00:24:24,173 --> 00:24:25,674 Thank God that's over. 552 00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:27,259 [sighs] 553 00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:31,722 Ben must have been poisoned in that pocket of time 554 00:24:31,722 --> 00:24:33,599 by whoever he was talking to. 555 00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:36,018 If we could just figure out-- CHARLES: Give it up. 556 00:24:36,018 --> 00:24:38,020 We don't know what we don't know. 557 00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,689 [sighs] Sorry, Oliver. I don't think we're gonna solve this 558 00:24:40,689 --> 00:24:43,066 in time to free Loretta. 559 00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:45,903 I suppose it's fine. 560 00:24:47,029 --> 00:24:50,073 I guess I'll just die sad and alone. 561 00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:53,619 Wanna know how I was able to access those tears just now? 562 00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:56,246 I thought about Joy. 563 00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:58,790 Seeing her wedding dress was like a punch in the gut. 564 00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:01,293 I hear she's with Bakula now. 565 00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:03,003 Scott or Jeff? 566 00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:05,714 Scott. Who's Jeff Bakula? 567 00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:07,841 Meh, I have both of you beat 568 00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,511 in the "we're losers" competition. 569 00:25:10,511 --> 00:25:13,555 I still don't have my life figured out, 570 00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:17,267 I haven't solved this case, and I have no place to live. 571 00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:18,644 Still lost. 572 00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:21,063 You don't have to have it all worked out. You've got time. 573 00:25:21,063 --> 00:25:23,565 Yeah, well, tell that to 10-year-old Mabel. 574 00:25:25,108 --> 00:25:27,653 [sighs] This is a MASH from when I was a kid. 575 00:25:29,029 --> 00:25:31,532 You know, the game that tells you your future? 576 00:25:32,491 --> 00:25:33,992 Anyway, mine predicted 577 00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:36,703 that I would be married to Josh Hartnett, 578 00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:38,789 with two kids, 579 00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:41,124 driving a Honda Odyssey. 580 00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:44,461 I was so sure this MASH was right. 581 00:25:46,088 --> 00:25:50,008 I made my mom promise to send it to me when I turned 30. 582 00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:53,387 Came in the mail today, so perfect timing. 583 00:25:53,387 --> 00:25:54,847 Wait. 584 00:25:54,847 --> 00:25:56,974 Are you saying today's your 30th birthday? 585 00:25:57,975 --> 00:25:58,809 [sighs] 586 00:25:58,809 --> 00:26:01,645 And you spent it running around looking for clues with the two of us? 587 00:26:01,645 --> 00:26:04,690 Honestly, there's no way I'd rather spend it. 588 00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:06,191 [sighs] 589 00:26:07,401 --> 00:26:08,944 What do you think 10-year-old Mabel would say 590 00:26:08,944 --> 00:26:10,946 if she could see how your life actually turned out? 591 00:26:10,946 --> 00:26:12,781 Oh, she'd be horrified. 592 00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:15,450 But what the fuck did she know? She shopped at Wet Seal. 593 00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:17,452 [door opens] HOWARD: I did it! 594 00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:19,872 I solved the shredder paper! 595 00:26:19,872 --> 00:26:21,498 But I've been taping too long. 596 00:26:21,498 --> 00:26:24,126 My vision's gone blurry. I can't read it. 597 00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:26,211 - No, no, o-over here. Yes, okay. - Oh, you're over here. 598 00:26:29,882 --> 00:26:32,801 OM God! I know what this is. 599 00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:34,928 - That fast? - No, I just need to read two words. 600 00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:36,096 Two words I'll never forget. 601 00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:37,931 "Didn't sing." 602 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:41,435 This is Maxine's review of my original show, 603 00:26:41,435 --> 00:26:42,686 but it was never published. 604 00:26:42,686 --> 00:26:44,771 How did someone get ahold of this? HOWARD: Two words. 605 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:47,274 I need to get LASIK, and he only needed two words. 606 00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:50,444 - What is that? - Torn paper? 607 00:26:50,444 --> 00:26:52,821 I need to tape it together. [grabs paper] 608 00:26:52,821 --> 00:26:54,907 Look what you've turned me into! 609 00:26:54,907 --> 00:26:56,533 [thuds] Ow. 610 00:26:56,533 --> 00:26:59,328 This review says Ben was the weak link of the show. 611 00:26:59,328 --> 00:27:02,998 She said, "He was as wooden as the lighthouse he's standing on." 612 00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:05,542 What if someone read this that night? 613 00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:08,337 Maybe they decided to get rid of Ben to save the play. 614 00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:10,547 There are a lot of careers riding on it being a hit. 615 00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:14,051 Not mine, of course. I came to it as an established TV veteran. 616 00:27:14,051 --> 00:27:16,553 - Yes, and thank you for your service. - Guys? 617 00:27:17,471 --> 00:27:19,014 This could be our motive. 618 00:27:19,014 --> 00:27:20,974 Now we're getting somewhere! 619 00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:22,392 I-I need to refuel. 620 00:27:22,392 --> 00:27:24,978 Charles, please tell me you have some dips... 621 00:27:24,978 --> 00:27:27,064 I think there's some Norwegian red herring in the fridge. 622 00:27:27,064 --> 00:27:28,941 ♪ 623 00:27:28,941 --> 00:27:31,610 Hey, did that review mention my performance? 624 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:35,155 Huh? Oh, uh, no. Nothing. 625 00:27:35,155 --> 00:27:37,074 Really? 'Cause I kinda had a big, big role-- 626 00:27:37,074 --> 00:27:39,117 Charles, don't. [lighter clicking] 627 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:41,703 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 628 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:44,665 BOTH: Happy birthday to you! 629 00:27:44,665 --> 00:27:48,168 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Mabel ♪ 630 00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:50,379 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 631 00:27:50,379 --> 00:27:51,964 - You're flat, horrible. - I know. 632 00:27:51,964 --> 00:27:54,174 Thank you, guys. [all laugh] 633 00:27:54,174 --> 00:27:55,425 Come on. Make a wish. 634 00:27:56,426 --> 00:27:59,179 [sighs] Ah, yes. CHARLES: Hey, come on. Sit down. 635 00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,682 There you go. 636 00:28:01,682 --> 00:28:03,934 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 637 00:28:03,934 --> 00:28:06,436 - [giggles] - They tried to keep us apart, 638 00:28:06,436 --> 00:28:10,148 make me stick to my heart-healthy diet, 639 00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:11,942 but you found your way back to me. 640 00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:14,695 - [growls, moaning] - Oliver, keep going. 641 00:28:14,695 --> 00:28:16,446 Yeah-- Why? 642 00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:18,282 I know you feel it, too. 643 00:28:18,282 --> 00:28:21,326 You want me-- No, you need me to tear into you, 644 00:28:21,326 --> 00:28:24,454 you naughty little mistress. [loud chewing] 645 00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:26,957 I know who Ben was talking to. 646 00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,084 - Wait! - Gimme that! 647 00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:30,377 Why don't you fuck the fuck off? 648 00:28:31,086 --> 00:28:34,089 TOBERT [muffled]: You know what? Fucking happy to! 649 00:28:34,882 --> 00:28:36,133 [Tobert punches door] 650 00:28:36,133 --> 00:28:39,553 ♪ 651 00:28:51,023 --> 00:28:53,525 [coat hangers rattle] 652 00:28:53,525 --> 00:28:55,027 You're not supposed to be here. 653 00:28:55,861 --> 00:28:57,863 We both know you're bad. 654 00:28:58,822 --> 00:29:00,324 [panting] 655 00:29:03,285 --> 00:29:04,286 [sighs] 656 00:29:06,538 --> 00:29:08,540 [sighs] God, I want you. 657 00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:12,085 I want you so fucking bad. 658 00:29:14,046 --> 00:29:16,048 But we both know you'll ruin my career 659 00:29:18,842 --> 00:29:20,135 and I'm gonna like it. 660 00:29:23,222 --> 00:29:24,223 [turns off camera] 661 00:29:28,352 --> 00:29:29,853 [sighs] 662 00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:34,191 [deep sniffing, sighing] 663 00:29:35,150 --> 00:29:36,401 [loud moan] 664 00:29:37,736 --> 00:29:38,570 Mm! 665 00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:40,697 [mouth full] Oh, my God! 666 00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:42,616 Oh! 667 00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:45,786 [moaning] 668 00:29:47,538 --> 00:29:51,500 [heavy breathing] 669 00:29:54,044 --> 00:29:55,796 What the fuck did you just do? 670 00:29:56,964 --> 00:29:58,006 [sighs] 671 00:29:58,590 --> 00:30:00,092 You ate the whole thing. 672 00:30:02,427 --> 00:30:04,137 You're disgusting. 673 00:30:04,972 --> 00:30:07,099 [swallows, sighs] 674 00:30:07,099 --> 00:30:08,600 Loretta was right. 675 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,227 You're a fucking pig. 676 00:30:11,812 --> 00:30:13,856 You're a fucking pig! 677 00:30:15,482 --> 00:30:19,319 You're a fucking pig. You... are... 678 00:30:19,319 --> 00:30:22,322 a fucking... pig! 679 00:30:23,657 --> 00:30:26,243 Pig! [panting] 680 00:30:26,243 --> 00:30:29,079 Pig! [oinking] You're a fucking pig! 681 00:30:29,079 --> 00:30:31,665 [oinking] 682 00:30:31,665 --> 00:30:33,959 [squealing] 683 00:30:33,959 --> 00:30:36,461 [snorts] Fucking pig! 684 00:30:38,338 --> 00:30:41,758 ♪ 685 00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:43,552 [gasping] 686 00:30:45,220 --> 00:30:46,221 [sobs] 687 00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:48,891 [dialing] 688 00:30:48,891 --> 00:30:50,517 [gasping] 689 00:30:50,517 --> 00:30:53,228 [dial tone] [gasps] 690 00:30:54,646 --> 00:30:58,400 TRIXIE [on phone]: This is Trixie. Please leave me a message. 691 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,485 Uh, hey! 692 00:31:00,485 --> 00:31:02,863 It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny. 693 00:31:02,863 --> 00:31:04,364 Um... 694 00:31:04,364 --> 00:31:06,617 A-Are you guys coming to the show? 695 00:31:06,617 --> 00:31:09,328 I really need you t-to be here. 696 00:31:09,328 --> 00:31:10,621 Uh... 697 00:31:10,621 --> 00:31:13,540 I've just never felt so alone. 698 00:31:13,540 --> 00:31:15,959 [knocking] OLIVER [muffled]: Ben! 699 00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:18,921 Everyone gets opening night jitters! I can talk you through it. 700 00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:21,507 BEN: I-I gotta go. Please get here soon. 701 00:31:21,507 --> 00:31:24,468 I'm surrounded by people I can't trust. They're all out to get me. 702 00:31:25,302 --> 00:31:27,304 [hangs up] [sighs] 703 00:31:29,515 --> 00:31:31,642 ♪ 704 00:31:31,642 --> 00:31:32,893 [sniffles] 705 00:31:38,273 --> 00:31:40,275 [sniffs, coughs] Uh... 706 00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:43,862 I'm good. 707 00:31:44,738 --> 00:31:45,739 I'm good. 708 00:31:46,281 --> 00:31:47,282 [door opens] 709 00:31:47,282 --> 00:31:50,285 This whole time, it wasn't who Ben was talking to. 710 00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:52,162 It was what. 711 00:31:52,162 --> 00:31:55,123 You think if those last 30 minutes hadn't been so brutal, 712 00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:57,042 maybe Ben wouldn't have needed to eat that cookie. 713 00:31:57,042 --> 00:31:58,502 Maybe he'd still be alive. 714 00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:00,546 That cookie! 715 00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:03,841 It was from Donna. 716 00:32:04,466 --> 00:32:07,094 Mabel, what did that review say about Ben's performance? 717 00:32:07,094 --> 00:32:10,347 It said he was as wooden as the lighthouse. 718 00:32:10,347 --> 00:32:13,141 Donna said that exact thing at sitzprobe. 719 00:32:13,141 --> 00:32:15,143 She'd read the review. 720 00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:18,188 A-And you know, she was always bragging about her connection to the paper. 721 00:32:18,188 --> 00:32:21,441 I bet she sweet-talked someone into slipping her a copy. 722 00:32:21,441 --> 00:32:23,569 She'd sabotage her own play? 723 00:32:23,569 --> 00:32:25,571 It wasn't hers. 724 00:32:27,072 --> 00:32:28,490 It was her son's. 725 00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:30,742 His first production. 726 00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:32,619 And if it had been panned, 727 00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:35,122 it could have also been his last. 728 00:32:35,122 --> 00:32:38,166 ♪ 729 00:32:40,836 --> 00:32:44,131 MABEL: So, let's say Donna gets her hands on the review 730 00:32:45,132 --> 00:32:48,760 which says Ben is the weak link of the show. 731 00:32:50,637 --> 00:32:51,638 [Donna sighs] 732 00:32:52,764 --> 00:32:54,266 [doorknob rattling] 733 00:32:55,517 --> 00:32:56,768 HOWARD [muffled]: That's odd. 734 00:32:59,396 --> 00:33:02,566 [whirring, grinding] 735 00:33:07,237 --> 00:33:09,489 She spots the rat poison. 736 00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:14,077 Then, the cookie. 737 00:33:15,037 --> 00:33:17,623 And she gets the idea to poison Ben. 738 00:33:21,543 --> 00:33:22,794 [sighs] 739 00:33:25,255 --> 00:33:28,258 ♪ 740 00:33:42,314 --> 00:33:44,983 OLIVER: She leaves him the cookie, knowing it's his weakness, 741 00:33:44,983 --> 00:33:47,069 and that he's in a bad spot emotionally. 742 00:33:47,069 --> 00:33:49,530 The perfect temptation. 743 00:33:49,530 --> 00:33:52,699 CHARLES: All she has to do now is make sure he eats the cookie. 744 00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:56,370 Go to your dressing room. Be nice to Ben. 745 00:33:56,370 --> 00:34:00,207 Do whatever it takes to get your ass ready to go on that stage. 746 00:34:00,207 --> 00:34:02,209 Yeah. [sighs] 747 00:34:04,336 --> 00:34:06,505 TOBERT: Oh, hey, you're here! 748 00:34:06,505 --> 00:34:08,423 BEN: Yeah, where the shit else would I be? 749 00:34:08,423 --> 00:34:10,008 TOBERT: Right. Well, how about we start shooting 750 00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:11,301 some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh? 751 00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:14,513 BEN: Look, dude, you-- I-I'm not an animal in your zoo. 752 00:34:14,513 --> 00:34:17,307 So, we have our motive, the review. 753 00:34:17,307 --> 00:34:19,518 We have the murder weapon, a cookie. 754 00:34:19,518 --> 00:34:21,979 And when the cookie doesn't work, 755 00:34:21,979 --> 00:34:24,857 she pushes him down the elevator shaft. 756 00:34:24,857 --> 00:34:26,984 She was in and out of that party all night. 757 00:34:26,984 --> 00:34:29,361 She could have easily made a murderous pit stop. 758 00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:30,612 So 759 00:34:31,321 --> 00:34:33,740 we have our killer, Donna. 760 00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:35,450 Which means we can get Loretta out! 761 00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:37,160 I-I don't know. 762 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,121 Her arraignment's in 20 minutes, 763 00:34:39,121 --> 00:34:40,831 and the courthouse is way downtown. 764 00:34:40,831 --> 00:34:42,541 And I'm all out of ladders. 765 00:34:42,541 --> 00:34:44,877 And I can't cry twice in one day. 766 00:34:44,877 --> 00:34:47,588 Unless I think of my dad. Or my mom. 767 00:34:47,588 --> 00:34:49,590 Or any moment from my childhood. 768 00:34:50,716 --> 00:34:52,259 Mabel, what is it? 769 00:34:52,259 --> 00:34:54,386 Nobody stops a bride. 770 00:34:54,887 --> 00:34:57,389 ♪ 771 00:34:57,389 --> 00:34:59,558 [church bells tolling] 772 00:34:59,558 --> 00:35:02,060 I still don't get why you guys wore tuxes. 773 00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:04,062 Oh, I never miss a chance to put on my tux. 774 00:35:04,062 --> 00:35:06,565 Last time I wore this was 1987 Emmys. 775 00:35:06,565 --> 00:35:08,233 Wait, wait! That means... Hey! 776 00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:10,027 - Bebe Neuwirth's phone number! - Ah! 777 00:35:10,027 --> 00:35:11,653 Oh! Oh, oh, oh! MABEL: Oh no! 778 00:35:11,653 --> 00:35:13,363 OLIVER: A bride needs a cab, please. 779 00:35:13,363 --> 00:35:16,408 Bride. Bride needs a cab. MABEL: Oh, thank you. 780 00:35:16,408 --> 00:35:19,077 You, out. You, in. MABEL: Thank you, ma'am! 781 00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:20,287 OLIVER: That's very good. 782 00:35:20,287 --> 00:35:21,997 MABEL: Wanna know what I wished for 783 00:35:21,997 --> 00:35:25,292 over that birthday candle stuck in a tub of dip? 784 00:35:26,043 --> 00:35:27,044 You're looking at it. 785 00:35:27,044 --> 00:35:28,086 Thank you-- 786 00:35:28,921 --> 00:35:32,049 Me with my two besties doing murder stuff. 787 00:35:32,049 --> 00:35:33,050 Let's go, let's go, let's go! 788 00:35:33,050 --> 00:35:34,968 Not a bad life. 789 00:35:34,968 --> 00:35:37,387 Wait. Whoa, whoa. Slow down. Y'all got an appointment? 790 00:35:37,387 --> 00:35:39,389 It's my wedding, ma'am. 791 00:35:39,389 --> 00:35:41,391 And you guys are, what, her two dads? 792 00:35:41,391 --> 00:35:43,393 That's right. We're the fathers of the bride. [laughs] 793 00:35:43,393 --> 00:35:45,354 - Oh, that's fun. - So you got a groom in there? 794 00:35:45,854 --> 00:35:48,732 [panting] Why does there always have to be a groom? 795 00:35:49,858 --> 00:35:51,860 - Many happy returns. - Thank you. 796 00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:55,364 ♪ 797 00:35:55,364 --> 00:35:56,990 - [crowd gasps] - There she is. 798 00:35:56,990 --> 00:35:58,367 Loretta, wait! 799 00:36:00,619 --> 00:36:03,038 Oliver, what are you doing here? 800 00:36:03,038 --> 00:36:05,374 I came to stop you. Don't plead guilty. 801 00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:08,627 Wow. You look... great in orange. 802 00:36:08,627 --> 00:36:10,462 Oh! I do? 803 00:36:10,462 --> 00:36:12,756 [giggles] Thanks. 804 00:36:13,674 --> 00:36:15,926 You look really nice, too. 805 00:36:15,926 --> 00:36:17,553 - I do? - Mm-hmm. 806 00:36:17,553 --> 00:36:19,805 Oh, this old thing. I... [both laugh] 807 00:36:19,805 --> 00:36:21,098 We know who murdered Ben. 808 00:36:21,807 --> 00:36:23,225 You only confessed to save Dickie, 809 00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:24,893 but he didn't do it. And we can prove that. 810 00:36:24,893 --> 00:36:28,105 - You have to trust me. - [sighs] I do. 811 00:36:28,105 --> 00:36:31,483 I trust you. I just... 812 00:36:31,483 --> 00:36:34,486 [whispers] I've gone down this road so far already. 813 00:36:34,486 --> 00:36:36,488 [sighing] 814 00:36:37,948 --> 00:36:39,449 Who do you think did it? 815 00:36:39,449 --> 00:36:41,660 Um, Oliver? 816 00:36:41,660 --> 00:36:44,246 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 817 00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,247 [Oliver snorts] 818 00:36:46,582 --> 00:36:49,042 Fuckity fuck. 819 00:36:49,918 --> 00:36:52,921 ♪