1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:02,419
[knocking]
2
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:05,088
Ben?
Everyone gets opening night jitters!
3
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:06,673
♪
4
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,800
- I'm good.
- My review was going to be a pan.
5
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,054
This one... just didn't sing.
6
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,139
NYPD, motherfuckers!
7
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,140
The stalker, he didn't do it!
8
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:18,936
The killer is someone in this room.
9
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,396
We've got to get in on those interviews.
10
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,316
- [whirring, grinding]
- The spooky sound from opening night.
11
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,360
Someone was in here shredding something.
12
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,403
We need to reassemble these.
There might be a clue.
13
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,907
OLIVER:
We have the interrogations on tape.
14
00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,617
CHARLES:
We recorded everything.
15
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,786
OLIVER:
You don't owe me any explanation.
16
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,663
Th-The book is a little odd.
17
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,707
MABEL: These aren't photos of Ben.
They're photos of Dickie.
18
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,545
When he was gone for those
brief moments, I felt free.
19
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,088
And then he was back.
20
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,340
DICKIE:
I couldn't take it anymore.
21
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,217
DONNA: You spend your whole life
looking out for your child,
22
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,845
and you'll do anything
to make sure they're okay.
23
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,888
♪
24
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,057
Wait! I did it. I killed Ben.
25
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,810
No, you can't do this! Leave her alone!
[handcuffs clicking]
26
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,311
[Holter monitor beeping]
Oh, my God...
27
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,689
MABEL: Oliver? What's going on? Oliver!
[grunts]
28
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,107
CHARLES:
Call somebody! Get some help!
29
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,445
♪ soft piano playing ♪
30
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,742
MABEL:
When I was 10,
31
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,620
my future looked so clear to me.
32
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,081
Married to Josh Hartnett
33
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:25,502
with two kids, driving a Honda Odyssey.
34
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,672
Not a bad life.
35
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,009
Got another one coming. Push.
36
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:35,012
Wait, what's going on?
There's been a mistake.
37
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:38,640
I came here to see one of my friends.
He had a heart attack.
38
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,018
Don't worry.
You did great with the first two.
39
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,353
Just keep pushing. You're having triplets.
40
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,397
No, I'm-- Triplets?
41
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:49,568
- [mic feedback]
- And now, baby three!
42
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:53,488
MABEL: But here's the thing
about childhood fantasies.
43
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,365
They almost never come true.
44
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,242
DOCTOR:
Congratulations.
45
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,244
It's a podcast.
46
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,413
- Wah! [sucking]
- Mama!
47
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,248
- Wah! Wah!
- Mabel... Mabel.
48
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,417
- Mabel! Mabel!
- Wah!
49
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,544
OLIVER: Mabel!
[EKG beeping]
50
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,254
The doctor said I can finally go home.
51
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,256
- What? No, no, no, no, no.
- Yeah.
52
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,051
The man had a full-on
heart attack five days ago.
53
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,511
You rush him in here,
54
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,013
stick in a stent to prop up
his creaky artery.
55
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,765
- Nobody said creaky.
- Now, you're just gonna go
56
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,517
and send him off into the world?
57
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,143
OLIVER:
Mabel, I need to get back.
58
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,811
My show opens in two days,
59
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,813
and my star is about
to be charged with murder.
60
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,191
Doctor, maybe you should
just run a few more tests to be sure?
61
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,985
His body responded
very well to the stent.
62
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,655
Although I'm sure it was
quite a scare for all of you.
63
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,156
[scoffs] I wasn't scared.
64
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,616
Oh, is that so?
65
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,786
You know, I was just pretending to be
unconscious when I heard you wailing,
66
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,829
"I can't let him go!
67
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,582
Come back to me,
you sweet son of a bitch!"
68
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,334
I was doing
a performance for the nurses.
69
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,044
They're big fans of mine.
What am I gonna do?
70
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,629
Not be Charles-Haden Savage?
71
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:52,631
Oh, admit it.
You're obsessed with me.
72
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,842
Can't believe I actually missed this.
73
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,926
♪
74
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,970
Come on, Putnam. We've got work to do.
75
00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,304
Yes, yes, yes.
CHARLES: Let's go.
76
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,515
MABEL:
For starters,
77
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:05,352
if Loretta made up her confession
to protect her son,
78
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,479
don't we need to prove that her son
79
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,648
is Ben's real killer to get her out?
80
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,275
Loretta's been in jail a few days now.
81
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:14,528
I wonder if she's shaved her head
and gotten all jacked.
82
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,031
I can't let her take the fall for this.
She's the love of my life.
83
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,701
Love?
I thought you were just hooking up.
84
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,370
Oh, we hooked up.
85
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,414
We hooked up big time.
86
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,458
We hooked up and down
and every which direction.
87
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,752
- You name a way, we did a hook.
- Okay, alright, thank you. Enough. Okay.
88
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,463
I promise we will get her home to you.
89
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,549
No matter how many
face tattoos she has now.
90
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,634
Charles, did you learn anything
91
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:40,804
from those police interrogations
we so skillfully recorded?
92
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,431
Actually, we haven't watched them yet.
93
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,600
We were sitting by your
bedside this whole time.
94
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,394
Mabel wanted to wait
so you could be a part of it.
95
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,395
Little softy.
96
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,938
- Aw!
- No! I--
97
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,440
I didn't-- It wasn't like I was like,
98
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,193
"Let's hold hands and watch it together."
It was just like...
99
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,403
Shut up.
100
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,489
[Oliver chuckles]
Okay, we're focusing on Dickie.
101
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,117
Loretta clearly thinks that he's guilty.
102
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,703
That's why she confessed to protect him.
103
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,163
Ben was poisoned,
104
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,498
and then later
pushed down the elevator shaft.
105
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,252
But, we don't know whose hanky
he was holding onto
106
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,130
when he died.
I mean, it could be Dickie's.
107
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:19,218
We know that someone wrote
"fucking pig" in lipstick on his mirror,
108
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,345
and we have footage of him
in a heated moment
109
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,180
talking to an unseen person,
110
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,765
possibly a lover.
111
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:28,477
C-Can we just take a beat
to appreciate how magical this is?
112
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:32,856
The three of us, reunited at last,
investigating as one.
113
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:36,318
Mabel, you stayed faithful to the podcast.
114
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,070
You should take the lead.
115
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,072
Just... the besties are back.
116
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,241
Ooh! That should be our opening line!
117
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,201
You just said Mabel
should take the lead.
118
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,203
Can't I make a suggestion?
119
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,622
I narrowly escaped death,
and now you won't let me live?
120
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,832
Oh, wah, wah.
121
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,835
- Wah, wah!
- Wah, wah!
122
00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,837
Oh, this is fucking weird.
123
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:58,173
Okay, okay.
The besties are back.
124
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,508
[recorder beeps]
125
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,760
The besties are back.
126
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,012
It may take two to tango,
127
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,598
but it takes three to solve the murder
128
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,476
of an ill-fated movie star.
129
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,145
Welcome to a brand-new episode of
130
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,148
- Only Murders in the Building.
- Perfection.
131
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,151
♪ lively theme song playing ♪
132
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,154
♪ vocalizing ♪
133
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:06,700
♪
134
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,245
Let's just question Dickie without
spilling that Loretta's his mother.
135
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:11,955
- It's not our place to tell him.
- Right.
136
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,415
[door opens]
137
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,458
Oh!
138
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,712
This one's for you.
139
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:21,298
Why do you still have
packages coming here?
140
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,593
Our geriatric doorman obviously
forgot I'm back from the hospital.
141
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,678
Lester's six months younger than you.
142
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,389
"Get well soon
and find me a new leading lady.
143
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,891
Smooches, Donna."
144
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,770
We are not gonna need a new leading lady.
145
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:35,771
Oh, my God.
146
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:38,774
♪
147
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,859
Joy's wedding dress.
148
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,946
She had her mom send the one
she was married in,
149
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,448
so Joy could have it altered
for when she and I were...
150
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,202
- I'll take this.
- Yeah.
151
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,497
Joy's mom is still alive?
152
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,749
Oh, yeah. Her dad, too. In fact,
153
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,168
he was gonna walk her down the aisle
holding her childhood dog.
154
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,713
We ready to go? Uh, clock's ticking.
155
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,215
OLIVER:
Okay. [sighs]
156
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,971
So, Loretta, huh?
157
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,556
I did not see that coming.
OLIVER: Yeah.
158
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,015
Yeah. Us neither.
159
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,434
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
For a minute,
160
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,811
we thought you did it.
161
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,145
[awkward laughter]
162
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,106
You did? Wh-Why?
163
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,609
Ah, it's so dumb. We, um,
164
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,529
we just know he stole CoBro from you.
OLIVER: Uh-huh.
165
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:26,780
Oh.
166
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,449
Shit. Really?
167
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:34,162
Okay. Yeah, I was resentful.
168
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,833
Yeah, and you told me
you cover up things,
169
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,461
so I kinda figured you
covered up his blood work
170
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,630
to hide the poison in his system.
171
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,465
I did do that.
172
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,302
I mean, I didn't know he was poisoned
when I did it.
173
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,180
I just knew there was other stuff in there
he wouldn't want getting out.
174
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,557
Wait, you believe me, right?
175
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,642
Oh, of course. Yes.
176
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,311
Out of curiosity,
177
00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,439
where were you when Ben
was pushed to his death?
178
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,441
Because you weren't pushing him, obviously.
179
00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:05,903
E-Everyone knows that.
But, uh, unless...
180
00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,613
I left your party early.
181
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:11,158
I was freaked the fuck out
that Ben came back to life
182
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,701
and I had to get outta there.
183
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,495
So, I...
184
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:20,250
[sighs] I got wasted,
put on Ben's CoBro suit,
185
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,294
and went looking for drugs and whores.
186
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,088
- Well, who wouldn't?
- Wow.
187
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,798
Why should he have all the fun?
188
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,759
That's what Ben was into?
189
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:32,137
Every Thursday,
he'd disappear for hours.
190
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,641
And when I asked about it,
he'd say, "Snitches get stitches."
191
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:40,020
So, I tracked his phone
to a place on Broadway
192
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,147
between 35th and 36th,
193
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,732
where he'd go to...
194
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,569
do sex with his "five whores,"
195
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,906
as he so affectionately called them.
196
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,575
He even saved
opening night seats for them.
197
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:57,538
Uh, Trixie, Marigold,
Emerald, Dot, and Mei Mei.
198
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,248
Here. [sighs]
199
00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:02,251
♪
200
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,963
I was outside, screaming for them
201
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,048
to bring me the five whores.
202
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,217
I slept there all night.
203
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,718
A dog peed on me.
204
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,429
I hope it was a dog.
205
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:19,059
This is proof you weren't at the Arconia
when Ben was pushed.
206
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,436
The cops got that image
from a security camera
207
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,146
after I told them where I was,
208
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,815
but they didn't really buy it as an alibi,
209
00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:26,859
since you can't fully see my face.
210
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:30,612
I guess I should just be
grateful there isn't audio.
211
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,282
[sighs]
212
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,576
I just can't believe Loretta did it.
213
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:39,663
Well, for what it's worth,
w-we don't think she really did do it.
214
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,583
But why else would she confess?
215
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,627
- No idea.
- Oh, yeah, theater folk, cuckoo!
216
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:46,670
[forced laugh]
217
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,797
Wait a minute.
218
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,925
If you guys think
the killer's still out there,
219
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,927
I should probably call my lawyer.
220
00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,058
CHARLES: Hm.
[phone stops recording]
221
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,019
Guys, if he's telling the truth,
222
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,437
he couldn't have pushed Ben.
223
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,607
That means that Loretta gave herself up
for someone who didn't even do it.
224
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,192
If we can find the real killer in time,
225
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,153
maybe we can convince Loretta
to take back her confession.
226
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:13,322
Charles, her arraignment is at 5:00 p.m.
227
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:16,783
We need to figure out what Ben was doing
and who he was seeing
228
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,578
in the last few days
leading up to his death.
229
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:22,247
I say we start at Broadway and 35th.
230
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,584
Except we can't just walk into a brothel
without a reservation.
231
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:28,128
♪
232
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,755
I know what we need.
233
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,049
[distant siren]
Nobody stops a guy with a ladder!
234
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:35,427
- It gets you in anywhere.
- [sighs] So the ladder's the new turkey.
235
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,179
It might work better
if the guy carrying the ladder
236
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,972
wasn't also wearing orthopedic shoes
237
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,099
- and dressed like a leprechaun.
- Hm.
238
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,476
Hey, hey, this is it.
239
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,647
Snitches Get Stitches?
240
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:50,359
- It's a fabric shop.
- No, no, no, no, no. It's a front.
241
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:53,570
Brothels always use puns
to name their fake businesses.
242
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,948
I learned that by wandering
in the back of a cabinet shop
243
00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:58,075
called All By My Shelf.
244
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,494
Follow my lead!
Let the ladder do the work.
245
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,454
Wait a second! I have a better way in.
246
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:04,039
No one says no to a crying man.
247
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,458
I did a scene in Brazzos, episode 315.
248
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,752
The Foreign Exchange Killer.
It was a good one.
249
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:11,255
And I cried a single solitary tear.
250
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:14,132
And that week, our fan mail went sky high.
251
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,051
Mostly from men.
You wanna know why?
252
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,512
You helped them access
their inner feelings.
253
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,097
Yes.
254
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,890
But just gimme a go.
Gimme the stage.
255
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,600
No, no, no, no.
256
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,270
Me first. [struggling]
CHARLES: Stop it!
257
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,940
Just here to change a light bulb!
258
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,733
No, you can't go back there.
259
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,777
- [door shuts]
- Of course not, dude.
260
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,239
We all know what's going on
in the back room.
261
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,699
Wink, wink.
262
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,951
But did you see my ladder?
263
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:45,622
[phony crying]
264
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,170
I'm sorry. Is my crying upsetting you?
265
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,713
You're not crying.
266
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,423
Give it a minute.
267
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,467
[wheezing]
268
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,262
[grunting, gasps]
269
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,638
This guy's made of stone.
270
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,432
Do you have any menthol
for under the eyes?
271
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,267
Yeah, I have a bucket of menthol.
272
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,938
[grunting, straining]
273
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:13,066
Do you need a restroom?
We have one in the back.
274
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:17,237
- Oh! Thank you so much. Get in there.
- Thanks.
275
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,238
OLIVER:
Ooh!
276
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,450
[sewing machines whirring]
277
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,621
You're the five whores?
278
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,580
[machines stop]
279
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,165
MABEL:
Please ignore him!
280
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,959
I'm sorry. We were just looking
for a group of women
281
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,794
who might have known Ben Glenroy,
282
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,338
- but we'll just get out of the way.
- Sorry.
283
00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:35,631
Benny!
284
00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:38,342
Oh, yes! We knew him!
285
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:41,803
Our sewing circle met here every Thursday.
286
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:45,015
Benny said sewing kept him off
287
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,518
all those dangerous street drugs.
288
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,021
We miss him terribly.
289
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,775
When was the last time you saw him?
290
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,610
Oh, um,
291
00:12:56,610 --> 00:13:00,572
his big opening night of Death Rattle.
292
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,908
♪
293
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,203
[whirring]
We'd stayed up all night helping him sew
294
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,998
these lovely hankies for his cast and crew
295
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,834
while running lines.
296
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:15,838
"Everyone else in that lighthouse
is dead, Nanny.
297
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:19,758
So the killer is either you, me,
or the baby."
298
00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:25,097
SEAMSTRESSES:
"I wouldn't bet on that baby, detective."
299
00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:28,225
He wanted to make
something special for them.
300
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,185
Something personal.
301
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:33,146
He said he treated a lot of them
302
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,066
like a steaming pile of cow manure.
303
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:40,153
We finished those hankies just in time,
304
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,823
and off Benny went to the theater.
305
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:43,949
Thank you. Thank you.
306
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,659
I'm gonna see you all
at the theater, ladies.
307
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,452
- We're rooting for you. Bye.
- Love you. [kissing]
308
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,037
TRIXIE:
But then...
309
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,915
Mei Mei, my phone.
310
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,173
BEN [on phone]:
Uh, hey!
311
00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:01,466
It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny.
312
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,926
Um...
313
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:05,637
A-Are you guys coming to the show?
314
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,140
I really need you t-to be here.
315
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:11,852
Uh, I've just never felt... so alone.
316
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,146
[knocking on door]
OLIVER [on phone]: Ben?
317
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:17,941
Everyone gets opening night jitters!
I can talk you through it.
318
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,526
That's me just before curtain.
319
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,320
BEN [on phone]:
I-I gotta go. Please get here soon.
320
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,531
I'm surrounded by people I can't trust.
They're all out to get me.
321
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:28,327
TRIXIE:
It's so hard to hear him like that.
322
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:32,331
He was so excited for us to see the show.
323
00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:33,832
[sighs]
324
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,001
- Alright. Okay. Okay.
- Thank you.
325
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:38,212
- Sorry.
- Thank you. Sorry. Thank you so much.
326
00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,506
Oh, this...
327
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:44,218
It's a gift for you. It's a-a ladder.
328
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,511
Oh, thank you!
329
00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:46,970
Sorry for calling you whores.
330
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,931
Oh, that's alright.
331
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,682
I used to be one.
332
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:55,020
Okay. That's... interesting. Bye.
333
00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:58,899
MABEL: So what happened from
the time Ben arrived at the theater,
334
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:02,861
on top of the world,
to leaving a distressed voicemail
335
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,906
30 minutes later?
I mean,
336
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,699
who did he think was out to get him?
337
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:11,203
I already know how we can find out.
The interrogations.
338
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:14,498
Williams questioned everyone
who crossed paths with Ben that night,
339
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,458
and we can use those interrogations
340
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,877
to make a timeline of that 30 minutes!
341
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:23,799
Ah! I knew you were due for a good idea
since your last one six months ago.
342
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,217
- Huh?
- When you proposed
343
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,928
we go halfsies on
a New Yorker digital subscription.
344
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,721
- That was your idea.
- Oh, good.
345
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,558
You owe me $32,
and I'm keeping the free tote.
346
00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,184
Shh, guys.
347
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,644
KT's up first.
348
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,940
KT [on video]: All actors must be at
the theater for what we call "half hour."
349
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,735
Boots on the ground
30 minutes before curtain.
350
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,655
Not 28, not 29, 30.
351
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,323
♪
352
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,825
Ben, of course, was late.
353
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,618
[bags rustling]
354
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,995
[sighs]
355
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,122
Check it!
I have gifts for everyone.
356
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:58,083
Where the fuck have you been?
Get into costume!
357
00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,334
Go!
358
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,170
KT sure knows how to kill a mood.
359
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:04,256
Someone should really talk to her
about her tone.
360
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,759
- Oh, the producer's son is up next.
- Oh, Cliff.
361
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:11,054
I saw Ben right after
KT yelled at him.
362
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,807
Not a fan of her tone.
363
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,476
Schmackary's?
They're so good.
364
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,145
Mom ordered them special.
365
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,189
Check out the rattles.
Can you even?
366
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:24,026
You know what, get those away from me.
I'm fasting till after the show.
367
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,904
Wait! No.
368
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,198
Let me just smell 'em.
369
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,284
[deep sniff] Oh, g--
370
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:33,911
I said get them away from me!
371
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:38,081
Hey, listen. I need you to check
on my five guests for tonight.
372
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,585
Emerald, Trixie, Marigold,
Dot, and Mei Mei.
373
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,754
The five whores.
374
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,466
Sorry. I--
That's how I learned them in my brain.
375
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:49,760
Charles, can you scooch a little?
376
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,929
- Sure.
- Thanks.
377
00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:54,431
So that's new.
Ben was fasting before the show.
378
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,184
Let's keep going.
[click]
379
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,311
DICKIE [on computer]:
I'll admit, I was furious with Ben.
380
00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,063
I mean, who shows up late
to his opening night?
381
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:04,066
It was always something with him,
which is why...
382
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:09,238
[sighs] Loretta was encouraging me
to leave him.
383
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,073
♪
384
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,075
I just... [sighs]
385
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:17,246
I just think you deserve
so much better, you know?
386
00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:19,831
Look at your arm. Aw...
387
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,459
These are stress hives.
388
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,294
I call 'em "Benny bites."
389
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,754
[Loretta groans]
390
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,590
What about that
cortisone cream I gave you?
391
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,551
Did you use that?
DICKIE: I did.
392
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:34,346
How did we not get
that she's his mother?
393
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:36,181
I feel she's about to give him a bottle.
394
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:39,142
Doesn't Loretta look pretty?
395
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:42,229
And did you make
that list of bullet points
396
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,939
to say when you quit?
397
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,817
That always helps me, I tell you.
398
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:48,110
Sure. Yeah.
399
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,778
Uh-oh, incoming.
400
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,156
- Hey!
- You losers passing notes?
401
00:17:53,699 --> 00:17:56,201
Okay, I'm gonna go warm up.
402
00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:59,037
See you at fight call.
403
00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:03,000
Give it!
[laughs]
404
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,588
Wait, what is this?
405
00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:10,757
Are you quitting?
406
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,802
I was gonna wait till after the show.
407
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,185
Sh-She put you up to this.
408
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,270
'Cause you know fucking Loretta,
she's been...
409
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,397
she's been driving a wedge
between us from day one.
410
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,357
It's not Loretta! It's you!
411
00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:31,361
I've spent my entire life
catering to the great Ben Glenroy!
412
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:34,156
Who we all know isn't exactly
a delight to be around!
413
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,116
See bullet point four!
414
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,117
Ju--
415
00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:39,620
You know what? Fine. Alright, fine. Go.
416
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,038
Fuck if I care!
417
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,292
You're a lousy manager anyway.
418
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,211
And you know what?
And you're an even lousier brother.
419
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:48,629
I know you think you created it,
420
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:50,547
but I am CoBro!
421
00:18:52,883 --> 00:18:54,593
Actually, no. You know what?
422
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:56,428
The way you just betrayed me?
423
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,347
I'm NoBro.
424
00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:00,140
Because I don't have a brother anymore.
425
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:03,143
♪
426
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:10,067
OLIVER: Loretta was
encouraging Dickie to leave Ben?
427
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,194
Messy, messy. Who's next?
[click]
428
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:15,489
After Ben arrived, I went to KT's office
to get the ritual broom.
429
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,533
The door was locked,
430
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,368
which I thought was odd.
431
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:20,869
[rattling knob]
432
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,663
That's odd.
433
00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:25,040
[shredder whirring, grinding]
434
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,292
♪
435
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:31,046
I'll do a progress check
on the shredder.
436
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:36,844
And so, it was the brilliant
Howard Francis Morris
437
00:19:36,844 --> 00:19:38,387
who cracked the case
438
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,930
[wind blowing]
by-- Oh, fuckity fuck!
439
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,057
[text notification chimes]
440
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,892
Howard says he needs more time.
441
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,269
If I'm not mistaken,
442
00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:47,813
next up is Ben and Loretta's
fight call rehearsal.
443
00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:50,732
Oh, she told me about this on our date.
[click]
444
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:54,528
Well, Ben accused me of
trying to steal Dickie from him.
445
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,196
And this was just moments
446
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:59,157
after he learned his brother was quitting.
447
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,493
[Ben panting]
448
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:03,745
♪
449
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,748
- You're late.
- Whatever. Let's just do this.
450
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:10,043
That's enough, Detective.
451
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,879
I'm not gonna let you take that baby.
452
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:14,006
You are just a nanny.
453
00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:16,383
You can't keep him.
You're not the mother.
454
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,219
He needs me to be
his mother now. [grunts]
455
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,764
It's my job to protect him
as if he were born of my own flesh!
456
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,850
Wow, this dialogue really lines up.
457
00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:27,519
What are you... [gasps]
458
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,605
Stay out of our lives!
459
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,856
- What?
- I mean it!
460
00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:33,025
Stay the fuck away from my brother.
[Loretta yelps]
461
00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:34,067
♪
462
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,028
LORETTA:
He's been nothing but loyal to you!
463
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,237
All you do is treat him like shit!
464
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,156
You weaseled your way
into this production.
465
00:20:39,156 --> 00:20:42,367
No! Let me go, you fucking pig.
CHARLES: Hey, look.
466
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,535
There's me.
467
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:44,870
God, I'm pale.
468
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:46,038
What the hell's going on?
469
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,748
Is that what I sound like?
470
00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:49,458
He attacked me!
471
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:51,835
BEN: What? No, I didn't.
We were rehearsing.
472
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,755
- Stay out of it, fuck bag.
- Hey! [grunts]
473
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,343
That's...
474
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:02,054
My face!
475
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,936
I still can't believe you hit him.
476
00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:11,188
Well, why don't you add
"for good reason" to the board?
477
00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:13,815
Or "Charles punches Ben
and he had it coming"?
478
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:16,568
Anyway, this is where Joy comes in
to touch up the bruise,
479
00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:19,655
- which wasn't that bad anyway.
- Yeah, easy, Cassius.
480
00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:23,617
Joy leaves her lipstick behind
in Ben's dressing room, and...
481
00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:26,912
who's the next person to see him?
482
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,039
♪
483
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:31,583
[click]
DONNA [on computer]: I did see Ben, yes.
484
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:35,295
It was right after I gave
Cliff a little pep talk.
485
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,338
[laughs]
486
00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,175
My tummy is in knots.
487
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,969
Oh, it's almost showtime.
488
00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:44,513
I've put everything into this play.
I need it to be a hit.
489
00:21:44,513 --> 00:21:47,599
Oh, it will be.
I won't let you fail, sweetie.
490
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,768
Here's a kiss from Mommy.
[footsteps approaching]
491
00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,144
BEN:
Hey!
492
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,814
Wh-Where are my guests?
I don't see them in their seats.
493
00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:55,732
Yeah, I think traffic's pretty bad.
494
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,901
Something's happening at the UN.
I don't know what.
495
00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:01,613
You know, I'm boycotting global politics
until everyone just gets along.
496
00:22:02,823 --> 00:22:03,824
Fuck.
497
00:22:03,824 --> 00:22:05,325
DONNA:
I'm going to be straight with you, Ben.
498
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:08,370
It's opening night,
and you look like shit.
499
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:09,997
Can you see a mark?
500
00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:13,125
- What?
- It's f-fucking Charles and Loretta.
501
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:14,751
I-I'm done with them both!
502
00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:17,337
I don't know what's
going on with you, darling,
503
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,548
but this is not a good energy.
504
00:22:19,548 --> 00:22:21,008
Go to your dressing room.
505
00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:22,676
Be nice to Ben.
506
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,180
Do whatever it takes
to get your ass ready to go on that stage.
507
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,098
[sighs] Alright.
508
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:29,683
♪
509
00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,727
TOBERT:
Oh, hey, you're here!
510
00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,562
Yeah, where the shit else would I be?
511
00:22:33,562 --> 00:22:36,398
Right. Well, how about we start shooting
some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh?
512
00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:39,610
Look, dude, you--
I-I'm not an animal in your zoo.
513
00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:41,069
What?
514
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:42,779
I'm doing the thing
you're paying me to do.
515
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:45,532
- You know what? Not anymore.
- Wait!
516
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:48,118
Gimme that!
Why don't you fuck the fuck off?
517
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,913
You know what? Fucking happy to!
518
00:22:51,872 --> 00:22:52,873
[punches door]
519
00:22:52,873 --> 00:22:55,876
♪
520
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,592
So, Ben takes Tobert's camera
521
00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:07,012
into his dressing room
where he's caught talking to somebody.
522
00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:08,430
Watch.
523
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:10,057
[clicking]
524
00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,434
I want you so fucking bad.
525
00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,520
[sighs]
526
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,813
But you're gonna ruin my career.
527
00:23:17,856 --> 00:23:19,358
And I'm gonna like it.
528
00:23:19,358 --> 00:23:21,193
Who the hell is he talking to?
529
00:23:21,193 --> 00:23:23,570
Everyone's accounted for.
530
00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:26,865
This, my friends,
is what we call a dead end.
531
00:23:26,865 --> 00:23:28,283
♪
532
00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:30,869
[sighing]
533
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:33,872
I told Ben, "I know what you did."
534
00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,417
But I didn't have the whole picture.
535
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,421
H-His brother was leaving him.
536
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,923
I punched him.
537
00:23:43,674 --> 00:23:46,301
He was fasting.
538
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:49,680
His elderly sewing ladies
got stuck in UN traffic
539
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,306
and didn't even see the show.
540
00:23:51,849 --> 00:23:53,350
And all this goes on
541
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:56,270
30 minutes before his Broadway debut
542
00:23:56,270 --> 00:24:00,065
after being up all night
making hankies for everybody?
543
00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:02,818
Oh, my God.
544
00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:08,323
It was Ben who needed a hanky to cry into.
545
00:24:09,116 --> 00:24:10,909
[sobs] Oh jeez!
546
00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,077
Oh!
547
00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:15,330
The damn has burst!
548
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:19,293
[sobbing]
549
00:24:20,794 --> 00:24:22,045
Nah, there's a little bit.
550
00:24:22,045 --> 00:24:24,173
- There's a little something.
- Eh, not much.
551
00:24:24,173 --> 00:24:25,674
Thank God that's over.
552
00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:27,259
[sighs]
553
00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:31,722
Ben must have been poisoned
in that pocket of time
554
00:24:31,722 --> 00:24:33,599
by whoever he was talking to.
555
00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:36,018
If we could just figure out--
CHARLES: Give it up.
556
00:24:36,018 --> 00:24:38,020
We don't know what we don't know.
557
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,689
[sighs] Sorry, Oliver.
I don't think we're gonna solve this
558
00:24:40,689 --> 00:24:43,066
in time to free Loretta.
559
00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:45,903
I suppose it's fine.
560
00:24:47,029 --> 00:24:50,073
I guess I'll just die sad and alone.
561
00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:53,619
Wanna know how I was able
to access those tears just now?
562
00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:56,246
I thought about Joy.
563
00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:58,790
Seeing her wedding dress
was like a punch in the gut.
564
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:01,293
I hear she's with Bakula now.
565
00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:03,003
Scott or Jeff?
566
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:05,714
Scott. Who's Jeff Bakula?
567
00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:07,841
Meh, I have both of you beat
568
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,511
in the "we're losers" competition.
569
00:25:10,511 --> 00:25:13,555
I still don't have my life figured out,
570
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:17,267
I haven't solved this case,
and I have no place to live.
571
00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:18,644
Still lost.
572
00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:21,063
You don't have to have it
all worked out. You've got time.
573
00:25:21,063 --> 00:25:23,565
Yeah, well, tell that
to 10-year-old Mabel.
574
00:25:25,108 --> 00:25:27,653
[sighs] This is a MASH
from when I was a kid.
575
00:25:29,029 --> 00:25:31,532
You know, the game
that tells you your future?
576
00:25:32,491 --> 00:25:33,992
Anyway, mine predicted
577
00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:36,703
that I would be married to Josh Hartnett,
578
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:38,789
with two kids,
579
00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:41,124
driving a Honda Odyssey.
580
00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:44,461
I was so sure this MASH was right.
581
00:25:46,088 --> 00:25:50,008
I made my mom promise to send it
to me when I turned 30.
582
00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:53,387
Came in the mail today, so perfect timing.
583
00:25:53,387 --> 00:25:54,847
Wait.
584
00:25:54,847 --> 00:25:56,974
Are you saying today's
your 30th birthday?
585
00:25:57,975 --> 00:25:58,809
[sighs]
586
00:25:58,809 --> 00:26:01,645
And you spent it running around
looking for clues with the two of us?
587
00:26:01,645 --> 00:26:04,690
Honestly, there's no way
I'd rather spend it.
588
00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:06,191
[sighs]
589
00:26:07,401 --> 00:26:08,944
What do you think
10-year-old Mabel would say
590
00:26:08,944 --> 00:26:10,946
if she could see how your life
actually turned out?
591
00:26:10,946 --> 00:26:12,781
Oh, she'd be horrified.
592
00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:15,450
But what the fuck did she know?
She shopped at Wet Seal.
593
00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:17,452
[door opens]
HOWARD: I did it!
594
00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:19,872
I solved the shredder paper!
595
00:26:19,872 --> 00:26:21,498
But I've been taping too long.
596
00:26:21,498 --> 00:26:24,126
My vision's gone blurry.
I can't read it.
597
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:26,211
- No, no, o-over here. Yes, okay.
- Oh, you're over here.
598
00:26:29,882 --> 00:26:32,801
OM God! I know what this is.
599
00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:34,928
- That fast?
- No, I just need to read two words.
600
00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:36,096
Two words I'll never forget.
601
00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:37,931
"Didn't sing."
602
00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:41,435
This is Maxine's review
of my original show,
603
00:26:41,435 --> 00:26:42,686
but it was never published.
604
00:26:42,686 --> 00:26:44,771
How did someone get ahold of this?
HOWARD: Two words.
605
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:47,274
I need to get LASIK,
and he only needed two words.
606
00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:50,444
- What is that?
- Torn paper?
607
00:26:50,444 --> 00:26:52,821
I need to tape it together.
[grabs paper]
608
00:26:52,821 --> 00:26:54,907
Look what you've turned me into!
609
00:26:54,907 --> 00:26:56,533
[thuds]
Ow.
610
00:26:56,533 --> 00:26:59,328
This review says Ben
was the weak link of the show.
611
00:26:59,328 --> 00:27:02,998
She said, "He was as wooden
as the lighthouse he's standing on."
612
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:05,542
What if someone read this that night?
613
00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:08,337
Maybe they decided
to get rid of Ben to save the play.
614
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:10,547
There are a lot of careers
riding on it being a hit.
615
00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:14,051
Not mine, of course.
I came to it as an established TV veteran.
616
00:27:14,051 --> 00:27:16,553
- Yes, and thank you for your service.
- Guys?
617
00:27:17,471 --> 00:27:19,014
This could be our motive.
618
00:27:19,014 --> 00:27:20,974
Now we're getting somewhere!
619
00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:22,392
I-I need to refuel.
620
00:27:22,392 --> 00:27:24,978
Charles, please tell me
you have some dips...
621
00:27:24,978 --> 00:27:27,064
I think there's some
Norwegian red herring in the fridge.
622
00:27:27,064 --> 00:27:28,941
♪
623
00:27:28,941 --> 00:27:31,610
Hey, did that review
mention my performance?
624
00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:35,155
Huh? Oh, uh, no. Nothing.
625
00:27:35,155 --> 00:27:37,074
Really? 'Cause I kinda
had a big, big role--
626
00:27:37,074 --> 00:27:39,117
Charles, don't.
[lighter clicking]
627
00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:41,703
♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
628
00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:44,665
BOTH:
Happy birthday to you!
629
00:27:44,665 --> 00:27:48,168
♪ Happy birthday, dear Mabel ♪
630
00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:50,379
♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
631
00:27:50,379 --> 00:27:51,964
- You're flat, horrible.
- I know.
632
00:27:51,964 --> 00:27:54,174
Thank you, guys.
[all laugh]
633
00:27:54,174 --> 00:27:55,425
Come on. Make a wish.
634
00:27:56,426 --> 00:27:59,179
[sighs] Ah, yes.
CHARLES: Hey, come on. Sit down.
635
00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,682
There you go.
636
00:28:01,682 --> 00:28:03,934
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
637
00:28:03,934 --> 00:28:06,436
- [giggles]
- They tried to keep us apart,
638
00:28:06,436 --> 00:28:10,148
make me stick to my heart-healthy diet,
639
00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:11,942
but you found your way back to me.
640
00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:14,695
- [growls, moaning]
- Oliver, keep going.
641
00:28:14,695 --> 00:28:16,446
Yeah-- Why?
642
00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:18,282
I know you feel it, too.
643
00:28:18,282 --> 00:28:21,326
You want me--
No, you need me to tear into you,
644
00:28:21,326 --> 00:28:24,454
you naughty little mistress.
[loud chewing]
645
00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:26,957
I know who Ben was talking to.
646
00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,084
- Wait!
- Gimme that!
647
00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:30,377
Why don't you fuck the fuck off?
648
00:28:31,086 --> 00:28:34,089
TOBERT [muffled]: You know what?
Fucking happy to!
649
00:28:34,882 --> 00:28:36,133
[Tobert punches door]
650
00:28:36,133 --> 00:28:39,553
♪
651
00:28:51,023 --> 00:28:53,525
[coat hangers rattle]
652
00:28:53,525 --> 00:28:55,027
You're not supposed to be here.
653
00:28:55,861 --> 00:28:57,863
We both know you're bad.
654
00:28:58,822 --> 00:29:00,324
[panting]
655
00:29:03,285 --> 00:29:04,286
[sighs]
656
00:29:06,538 --> 00:29:08,540
[sighs] God, I want you.
657
00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:12,085
I want you so fucking bad.
658
00:29:14,046 --> 00:29:16,048
But we both know you'll ruin my career
659
00:29:18,842 --> 00:29:20,135
and I'm gonna like it.
660
00:29:23,222 --> 00:29:24,223
[turns off camera]
661
00:29:28,352 --> 00:29:29,853
[sighs]
662
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:34,191
[deep sniffing, sighing]
663
00:29:35,150 --> 00:29:36,401
[loud moan]
664
00:29:37,736 --> 00:29:38,570
Mm!
665
00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:40,697
[mouth full]
Oh, my God!
666
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:42,616
Oh!
667
00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:45,786
[moaning]
668
00:29:47,538 --> 00:29:51,500
[heavy breathing]
669
00:29:54,044 --> 00:29:55,796
What the fuck did you just do?
670
00:29:56,964 --> 00:29:58,006
[sighs]
671
00:29:58,590 --> 00:30:00,092
You ate the whole thing.
672
00:30:02,427 --> 00:30:04,137
You're disgusting.
673
00:30:04,972 --> 00:30:07,099
[swallows, sighs]
674
00:30:07,099 --> 00:30:08,600
Loretta was right.
675
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,227
You're a fucking pig.
676
00:30:11,812 --> 00:30:13,856
You're a fucking pig!
677
00:30:15,482 --> 00:30:19,319
You're a fucking pig.
You... are...
678
00:30:19,319 --> 00:30:22,322
a fucking... pig!
679
00:30:23,657 --> 00:30:26,243
Pig! [panting]
680
00:30:26,243 --> 00:30:29,079
Pig! [oinking] You're a fucking pig!
681
00:30:29,079 --> 00:30:31,665
[oinking]
682
00:30:31,665 --> 00:30:33,959
[squealing]
683
00:30:33,959 --> 00:30:36,461
[snorts] Fucking pig!
684
00:30:38,338 --> 00:30:41,758
♪
685
00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:43,552
[gasping]
686
00:30:45,220 --> 00:30:46,221
[sobs]
687
00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:48,891
[dialing]
688
00:30:48,891 --> 00:30:50,517
[gasping]
689
00:30:50,517 --> 00:30:53,228
[dial tone]
[gasps]
690
00:30:54,646 --> 00:30:58,400
TRIXIE [on phone]: This is Trixie.
Please leave me a message.
691
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,485
Uh, hey!
692
00:31:00,485 --> 00:31:02,863
It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny.
693
00:31:02,863 --> 00:31:04,364
Um...
694
00:31:04,364 --> 00:31:06,617
A-Are you guys coming to the show?
695
00:31:06,617 --> 00:31:09,328
I really need you t-to be here.
696
00:31:09,328 --> 00:31:10,621
Uh...
697
00:31:10,621 --> 00:31:13,540
I've just never felt so alone.
698
00:31:13,540 --> 00:31:15,959
[knocking]
OLIVER [muffled]: Ben!
699
00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:18,921
Everyone gets opening night jitters!
I can talk you through it.
700
00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:21,507
BEN:
I-I gotta go. Please get here soon.
701
00:31:21,507 --> 00:31:24,468
I'm surrounded by people I can't trust.
They're all out to get me.
702
00:31:25,302 --> 00:31:27,304
[hangs up]
[sighs]
703
00:31:29,515 --> 00:31:31,642
♪
704
00:31:31,642 --> 00:31:32,893
[sniffles]
705
00:31:38,273 --> 00:31:40,275
[sniffs, coughs] Uh...
706
00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:43,862
I'm good.
707
00:31:44,738 --> 00:31:45,739
I'm good.
708
00:31:46,281 --> 00:31:47,282
[door opens]
709
00:31:47,282 --> 00:31:50,285
This whole time,
it wasn't who Ben was talking to.
710
00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:52,162
It was what.
711
00:31:52,162 --> 00:31:55,123
You think if those last 30 minutes
hadn't been so brutal,
712
00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:57,042
maybe Ben wouldn't have
needed to eat that cookie.
713
00:31:57,042 --> 00:31:58,502
Maybe he'd still be alive.
714
00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:00,546
That cookie!
715
00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:03,841
It was from Donna.
716
00:32:04,466 --> 00:32:07,094
Mabel, what did that review say
about Ben's performance?
717
00:32:07,094 --> 00:32:10,347
It said he was as wooden
as the lighthouse.
718
00:32:10,347 --> 00:32:13,141
Donna said that exact thing
at sitzprobe.
719
00:32:13,141 --> 00:32:15,143
She'd read the review.
720
00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:18,188
A-And you know, she was always bragging
about her connection to the paper.
721
00:32:18,188 --> 00:32:21,441
I bet she sweet-talked someone
into slipping her a copy.
722
00:32:21,441 --> 00:32:23,569
She'd sabotage her own play?
723
00:32:23,569 --> 00:32:25,571
It wasn't hers.
724
00:32:27,072 --> 00:32:28,490
It was her son's.
725
00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:30,742
His first production.
726
00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:32,619
And if it had been panned,
727
00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:35,122
it could have also been his last.
728
00:32:35,122 --> 00:32:38,166
♪
729
00:32:40,836 --> 00:32:44,131
MABEL: So, let's say Donna
gets her hands on the review
730
00:32:45,132 --> 00:32:48,760
which says Ben is
the weak link of the show.
731
00:32:50,637 --> 00:32:51,638
[Donna sighs]
732
00:32:52,764 --> 00:32:54,266
[doorknob rattling]
733
00:32:55,517 --> 00:32:56,768
HOWARD [muffled]:
That's odd.
734
00:32:59,396 --> 00:33:02,566
[whirring, grinding]
735
00:33:07,237 --> 00:33:09,489
She spots the rat poison.
736
00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:14,077
Then, the cookie.
737
00:33:15,037 --> 00:33:17,623
And she gets the idea to poison Ben.
738
00:33:21,543 --> 00:33:22,794
[sighs]
739
00:33:25,255 --> 00:33:28,258
♪
740
00:33:42,314 --> 00:33:44,983
OLIVER: She leaves him the cookie,
knowing it's his weakness,
741
00:33:44,983 --> 00:33:47,069
and that he's in a bad spot emotionally.
742
00:33:47,069 --> 00:33:49,530
The perfect temptation.
743
00:33:49,530 --> 00:33:52,699
CHARLES: All she has to do now
is make sure he eats the cookie.
744
00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:56,370
Go to your dressing room.
Be nice to Ben.
745
00:33:56,370 --> 00:34:00,207
Do whatever it takes to get your ass ready
to go on that stage.
746
00:34:00,207 --> 00:34:02,209
Yeah. [sighs]
747
00:34:04,336 --> 00:34:06,505
TOBERT:
Oh, hey, you're here!
748
00:34:06,505 --> 00:34:08,423
BEN:
Yeah, where the shit else would I be?
749
00:34:08,423 --> 00:34:10,008
TOBERT:
Right. Well, how about we start shooting
750
00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:11,301
some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh?
751
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:14,513
BEN: Look, dude, you--
I-I'm not an animal in your zoo.
752
00:34:14,513 --> 00:34:17,307
So, we have our motive, the review.
753
00:34:17,307 --> 00:34:19,518
We have the murder weapon, a cookie.
754
00:34:19,518 --> 00:34:21,979
And when the cookie doesn't work,
755
00:34:21,979 --> 00:34:24,857
she pushes him down the elevator shaft.
756
00:34:24,857 --> 00:34:26,984
She was in and out
of that party all night.
757
00:34:26,984 --> 00:34:29,361
She could have easily
made a murderous pit stop.
758
00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:30,612
So
759
00:34:31,321 --> 00:34:33,740
we have our killer, Donna.
760
00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:35,450
Which means we can get Loretta out!
761
00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:37,160
I-I don't know.
762
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,121
Her arraignment's in 20 minutes,
763
00:34:39,121 --> 00:34:40,831
and the courthouse is way downtown.
764
00:34:40,831 --> 00:34:42,541
And I'm all out of ladders.
765
00:34:42,541 --> 00:34:44,877
And I can't cry twice in one day.
766
00:34:44,877 --> 00:34:47,588
Unless I think of my dad. Or my mom.
767
00:34:47,588 --> 00:34:49,590
Or any moment from my childhood.
768
00:34:50,716 --> 00:34:52,259
Mabel, what is it?
769
00:34:52,259 --> 00:34:54,386
Nobody stops a bride.
770
00:34:54,887 --> 00:34:57,389
♪
771
00:34:57,389 --> 00:34:59,558
[church bells tolling]
772
00:34:59,558 --> 00:35:02,060
I still don't get why you guys wore tuxes.
773
00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:04,062
Oh, I never miss
a chance to put on my tux.
774
00:35:04,062 --> 00:35:06,565
Last time I wore this was 1987 Emmys.
775
00:35:06,565 --> 00:35:08,233
Wait, wait! That means... Hey!
776
00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:10,027
- Bebe Neuwirth's phone number!
- Ah!
777
00:35:10,027 --> 00:35:11,653
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
MABEL: Oh no!
778
00:35:11,653 --> 00:35:13,363
OLIVER:
A bride needs a cab, please.
779
00:35:13,363 --> 00:35:16,408
Bride. Bride needs a cab.
MABEL: Oh, thank you.
780
00:35:16,408 --> 00:35:19,077
You, out. You, in.
MABEL: Thank you, ma'am!
781
00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:20,287
OLIVER: That's very good.
782
00:35:20,287 --> 00:35:21,997
MABEL:
Wanna know what I wished for
783
00:35:21,997 --> 00:35:25,292
over that birthday candle
stuck in a tub of dip?
784
00:35:26,043 --> 00:35:27,044
You're looking at it.
785
00:35:27,044 --> 00:35:28,086
Thank you--
786
00:35:28,921 --> 00:35:32,049
Me with my two besties doing murder stuff.
787
00:35:32,049 --> 00:35:33,050
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
788
00:35:33,050 --> 00:35:34,968
Not a bad life.
789
00:35:34,968 --> 00:35:37,387
Wait. Whoa, whoa.
Slow down. Y'all got an appointment?
790
00:35:37,387 --> 00:35:39,389
It's my wedding, ma'am.
791
00:35:39,389 --> 00:35:41,391
And you guys are, what, her two dads?
792
00:35:41,391 --> 00:35:43,393
That's right.
We're the fathers of the bride. [laughs]
793
00:35:43,393 --> 00:35:45,354
- Oh, that's fun.
- So you got a groom in there?
794
00:35:45,854 --> 00:35:48,732
[panting] Why does there
always have to be a groom?
795
00:35:49,858 --> 00:35:51,860
- Many happy returns.
- Thank you.
796
00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:55,364
♪
797
00:35:55,364 --> 00:35:56,990
- [crowd gasps]
- There she is.
798
00:35:56,990 --> 00:35:58,367
Loretta, wait!
799
00:36:00,619 --> 00:36:03,038
Oliver, what are you doing here?
800
00:36:03,038 --> 00:36:05,374
I came to stop you. Don't plead guilty.
801
00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:08,627
Wow. You look... great in orange.
802
00:36:08,627 --> 00:36:10,462
Oh! I do?
803
00:36:10,462 --> 00:36:12,756
[giggles] Thanks.
804
00:36:13,674 --> 00:36:15,926
You look really nice, too.
805
00:36:15,926 --> 00:36:17,553
- I do?
- Mm-hmm.
806
00:36:17,553 --> 00:36:19,805
Oh, this old thing. I...
[both laugh]
807
00:36:19,805 --> 00:36:21,098
We know who murdered Ben.
808
00:36:21,807 --> 00:36:23,225
You only confessed to save Dickie,
809
00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:24,893
but he didn't do it.
And we can prove that.
810
00:36:24,893 --> 00:36:28,105
- You have to trust me.
- [sighs] I do.
811
00:36:28,105 --> 00:36:31,483
I trust you. I just...
812
00:36:31,483 --> 00:36:34,486
[whispers] I've gone down this road
so far already.
813
00:36:34,486 --> 00:36:36,488
[sighing]
814
00:36:37,948 --> 00:36:39,449
Who do you think did it?
815
00:36:39,449 --> 00:36:41,660
Um, Oliver?
816
00:36:41,660 --> 00:36:44,246
♪ dramatic sting ♪
817
00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,247
[Oliver snorts]
818
00:36:46,582 --> 00:36:49,042
Fuckity fuck.
819
00:36:49,918 --> 00:36:52,921
♪