♪ ♪
- So I was thinking we could go antiquing
this weekend, Greg. Wouldn't that be fun?
- I want to see other people.
- Oh, my God. I'm going to throw up.
Good morning, sir. - Hey.
You're new, right?
- I was born here, sir.
My mother was a chambermaid.
I lived in your room for two years
when we were children so you could have a constant playmate.
I began serving the family on my ninth birthday.
- So not new, got it. Do you mind paying the cab?
- Of course. - Thank you, Douglas.
- You--you know my name.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- That was weird.
- What the fuck are you two doing here?
- Hello, Grandmother. We've returned.
- Well, we're kind of packed. You snooze, you lose.
- It's just for a few weeks until we get back on our feet.
- There's a room with my exercise bike in it
that has a pull-out sofa. You can use that.
Take their bags. - Right away, Your Majesty.
- So how've you been, Greg?
- You said my name.
Oh--
I'm sorry.
- Jesus, you've really
fucked these people up.
- I've got the schematics up now.
I'll be able to monitor everything from here.
I'll report back shortly.
- Hey, Charlotte, are you--
- Fuck off. I'll kill you!
What the fuck, Charlotte?
- Sorry, George.
But you shouldn't sneak up on people.
- How do you even know how to do that?
- Do what? - That was like a scene
out of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."
- Well, maybe next time you knock.
- Something's not right with you,
and I'm gonna find out what it is.
- Careful. You look like someone
who doesn't want to get hurt.
- Are you-- are you threatening me?
- No, I'm just wondering. Am I right?
Are you someone who doesn't want to get hurt?
- I-I am.
I am someone who doesn't want to get hurt.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
So what did you want anyway? - What did I want?
Oh, yeah, I wanted to know if you were
coming to see me in the school musical tonight.
- Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it, George.
- Oh, great, thanks.
- It's Kate. Everything is set.
I'll leave while they're all at George's show,
and then we'll serve him the divorce papers.
Come in.
- Excuse me, ma'am.
I was just wondering if you needed anything.
- No, thank you. - Of course.
- Is that all?
- You must be so proud of George.
I know how excited he is for you to be there tonight.
- Yes, the school musical.
- I don't know how you do it. - Do what?
- Such a devoted mother,
and still time for all your charity work.
How lucky the children are to have you here.
We all are.
You're going to make a wonderful queen one day.
- Queen.
Yes.
Thank you.
- Well, I'll see you this evening at the show, ma'am.
♪ ♪
- May I get you anything else, Your Majesty?
- No, thank you.
- We really should start looking at headshots
before we hire these people.
- It's lovely that you invited us to tea, Mummy.
Camilla was just saying how much she loved
our teas together. Weren't you, darling?
- Well, there's something I wanted to discuss
with you, Charles.
It's about--well, Philip, it's time, don't you think?
- Perhaps it is, darling.
- Ooh, you're doing well today. Good on you, Dad.
- I would like to announce that I'm ready to--
- Ooh! It's hot.
- You always have something to say, don't you, Camilla?
What the fuck are you going on about now?
- Easy, Liz. - Look at her!
She's been the puppet master all this time,
and here I was playing right into her hands.
- She didn't mean it, Mummy.
Finish what you were going to say.
- To think I was about to give you the crown
when it's all too clear
you both have been plotting behind my back.
"It's hot."
How dare she?
They'll have to bury me in this crown.
Do you hear me?
Because you will never be king, Charles, never!
- You really did it this time.
- I think we need to talk about couple's counseling.
- We only get one hour off a week.
- And that's what we'll use it for.
Break a leg tonight, sir. - Oh, yeah, thanks.
- Do you know I also played Oliver when I was a boy?
- Looks like you're still playing him.
- I hate these people. - It's okay.
- I'm having the worst day of my life.
- Oh, okay, hold on. Let me grab this part.
- Oh, thanks, George. - Sure.
You got it? - Yeah.
- So you're back, huh?
- For a little while, anyway.
- Fuck.
- Ooh, sorry. That's all he says.
- No worries.
Well, I gotta go. - Good luck tonight.
- Okay, cool, thanks.
- And George... - Yeah.
- It's okay to be nervous.
I used to get nervous all the time before performing.
- Okay, well, I'm not nervous,
and I don't need any more advice
from your days on "Suits," so thanks anyway.
- Stop!
- Might we have a moment alone please?
Excuse me, can you two get out?
- Oh, us? Are you talking to us?
- Yes, there's nobody else in here.
Please go.
- We've just never been addressed before, ma'am.
- And we...we haven't left this room
in over two years.
- Well, you're leaving it now. Bye.
- Huh.
I didn't even notice they were in here.
- I was going to leave you tonight, William,
but I decided to stay,
and if I'm going to stay,
I'm going to do it right this time.
I want you to be king,
and I want to be queen.
No more waiting our turn. We grab it!
- Okay, this is the fucking hottest
you have ever been.
- Together, everything can be ours.
- Yes.
I've always wanted this for us.
But there are so many people who have to die first.
I kind of gave up.
Well, no longer.
There's a William that no one has ever seen before--
ruthless, ambitious, independent.
- Oh, take me!
- I will.
Guys, we need you back in here.
We're going to have sex now.
Remove our clothes, and, well, you know the positions we like.
♪ ♪
- What a smashing Oliver you are going to make.
You look very convincing, sir. - Thanks.
It's just some Prada I cut up and threw dirt on.
It costs a lot of money to look this poor.
- Well, it was certainly worth it.
- Five minutes. - Yeah.
Or we can start whenever I come out.
- That works too.
- Owen, can I ask you a question?
- Of course, sir. - Am I any good?
- I'm sorry? - You heard me.
Am I any good?
- Oh, you're brilliant, sir.
So talented and-- - Stop, please.
I'm serious.
Everyone tells me how great I am at everything,
but I'm not sure.
Are they just saying this because of who I am?
How will I ever know what's true and what's not?
- Oh, you're the most wonderful--
- Owen, please, you have to tell me the truth.
- Well...
no, you're not the best singer, sir,
and you're not gonna be wonderful at everything,
and not everyone will like you, but that's all right.
It's important to hear the truth
and not just surround ourselves with people
who tell us only what we want to hear.
That's how we grow.
That's how we become better people,
even if it can be difficult.
- I see.
Thank you.
You're fired. - Excuse me?
- You're fired. Get out.
- But--
- Your services are no longer required.
Thank you.
♪ ♪
- What's this about again?
- Mostly poor children singing about how hungry they are.
- So a comedy. - Where's this guy been?
- It's so nice to have you back in London, Meghan.
I've missed our little lunches.
- We've never had lunch together, Kate.
- Well, we must continue the tradition.
- See? She wants to have lunch with you.
- She doesn't want to--
let's just watch the fucking show.
- Ay, look, look, look, look.
Our Georgie. It's our Georgie, that.
Don't he look handsome? Hold up!
Georgie!
Look at him! Look!
George of the people! Georgie!
- Great job, George. You crushed it.
It should have been you. - Thanks, Dinesh.
- Well, how was I, new Owen?
- How were you?
Sublime, magnificent?
No, I don't have words for what I witnessed.
Oliver is the Everest of roles,
and you scaled it as though you were skipping rope.
The world of theater will never be the same
because this was the night
Prince George claimed it as his own.
And to think that someone as ordinary as myself
was there to behold it.
How will I ever repay you for the gift
that you have given me tonight?
Every day after this will be marked by George's Oliver,
because I will never be the same again.
Your fans are desperate to see you.
The whole world wants to tell George
how much they love him.
They wait just outside that door.
What shall I do, sir?
- Let them in.
♪ ♪