1 00:00:13,063 --> 00:00:20,065 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:25,062 --> 00:00:32,064 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:45,056 --> 00:00:47,064 - Excuse me, you there, Mary. 4 00:00:47,066 --> 00:00:49,048 - Yes, Your Majesty. 5 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,062 - Can you donate this to a soup kitchen 6 00:00:50,064 --> 00:00:53,056 and bring me something I can fucking eat? 7 00:00:53,058 --> 00:00:54,066 - Mummy, would you like my eggs? 8 00:00:55,044 --> 00:00:56,050 They're very yummy. 9 00:00:56,052 --> 00:00:57,061 - Yeah, I want to eat off your plate 10 00:00:57,063 --> 00:01:00,046 like we live in a fucking trailer park. 11 00:01:00,048 --> 00:01:02,061 Do you ever listen to yourself? 12 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,044 - No, Mummy, I don't. 13 00:01:04,046 --> 00:01:05,059 And it was actually Camilla's idea 14 00:01:05,061 --> 00:01:06,063 I offer you the eggs. 15 00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:08,061 Please forgive me, darling. 16 00:01:08,063 --> 00:01:10,047 I hate myself. 17 00:01:10,049 --> 00:01:11,060 - Ma'am, it's the prime minister. 18 00:01:11,062 --> 00:01:12,062 - Hello? 19 00:01:12,064 --> 00:01:14,058 Well, did you fuck her? 20 00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,054 All right, I'll take care of it. 21 00:01:16,056 --> 00:01:17,061 You don't talk to anyone 22 00:01:17,063 --> 00:01:20,044 until you get my call, understand? 23 00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:21,052 Thank you, Mary. 24 00:01:21,054 --> 00:01:24,053 - Grandpa, are you eating the paper? 25 00:01:27,064 --> 00:01:29,048 - That's new. 26 00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:31,063 - Well, I have an appointment. Please excuse me. 27 00:01:31,065 --> 00:01:34,047 Would you tell the children I'll be home later? 28 00:01:34,049 --> 00:01:36,053 - I'm sitting right next to you. 29 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:38,044 - Where are you going? - Out. 30 00:01:38,046 --> 00:01:39,063 Don't worry, I'll be back in time to watch the servants 31 00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:42,047 put the children to bed from my phone. 32 00:01:43,046 --> 00:01:45,049 - That's a good mother, 33 00:01:45,051 --> 00:01:46,050 hands-on. 34 00:01:46,052 --> 00:01:48,058 - I was breastfed by a servant. 35 00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:50,053 - Yes, but she watched. 36 00:01:50,055 --> 00:01:53,052 - Is there anything you need before I leave for my day off, 37 00:01:53,054 --> 00:01:54,054 Your Royal Highness? 38 00:01:54,056 --> 00:01:55,056 - Your day off? 39 00:01:55,058 --> 00:01:57,055 Didn't you just have a day off? 40 00:01:57,057 --> 00:01:59,049 When do you actually work? 41 00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:00,065 - It's been about a month, sir. 42 00:02:01,043 --> 00:02:02,063 - Must be nice to have your life. 43 00:02:02,065 --> 00:02:04,065 All right, well, go if you're going. 44 00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:07,051 - If you need anything at all, sir, don't hesitate-- 45 00:02:07,053 --> 00:02:10,047 - Owen, Owen, just leave, for God's sake. 46 00:02:10,049 --> 00:02:11,054 I think I'll be fine 47 00:02:11,056 --> 00:02:13,061 without whatever it is you think you do. 48 00:02:13,063 --> 00:02:14,064 - Of course, sir. 49 00:02:14,066 --> 00:02:16,050 - Bye-eee. 50 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:19,058 - Okay, now he's eating the centerpiece. 51 00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:25,047 - It's fine. 52 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,062 - Are you okay? 53 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:30,060 - Why haven't you touched me lately? 54 00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,062 - Can we not talk about this now? 55 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,064 - Well, I'm off. 56 00:02:33,066 --> 00:02:35,050 I'll see everyone tomorrow. 57 00:02:35,052 --> 00:02:36,066 - Big plans, then, Owen? 58 00:02:37,044 --> 00:02:38,056 - Oh, nothing much. 59 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:40,051 Well, ta-ta. 60 00:02:40,053 --> 00:02:42,060 - Bye, Owen! Have fun! 61 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,047 I'd go home and slit my throat 62 00:02:44,049 --> 00:02:46,059 if I had to look after that kid all day. 63 00:02:47,057 --> 00:02:49,045 Don't. 64 00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:50,053 - N...now, then, 65 00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:52,066 can I get anyone a nice cuppa? 66 00:02:53,044 --> 00:02:55,059 Teddy? - Yeah, thanks, Kev. 67 00:02:56,062 --> 00:02:58,057 Fuckin' love Kev. 68 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,048 - Morning, Owen. 69 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,064 - Morning, Clive. 70 00:03:24,063 --> 00:03:26,044 - Have a good day, Owen. 71 00:03:26,046 --> 00:03:27,065 - You too, Clive. 72 00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:38,054 ♪ ♪ 73 00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:43,043 - Hello? - Hey, is this a bad time? 74 00:03:43,045 --> 00:03:44,061 - Of course not, Your Royal Highness. 75 00:03:44,063 --> 00:03:46,050 - So I found the socks. 76 00:03:46,052 --> 00:03:49,043 I sent you back a smiley emoji, by the way. 77 00:03:49,045 --> 00:03:50,053 - Yes, I saw that. 78 00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:52,044 - Oh, well, you didn't respond. 79 00:03:52,046 --> 00:03:54,055 - Morning, Owen! - Morning, Dan! 80 00:03:54,057 --> 00:03:56,054 I sent you a thumbs-up on it, sir. 81 00:03:56,056 --> 00:03:58,052 - Oh, okay, I must have missed that. 82 00:03:58,054 --> 00:03:59,066 Anyway, I was wondering which-- 83 00:04:00,044 --> 00:04:02,050 - Hello, Owen. - Hello, Faye! 84 00:04:02,052 --> 00:04:04,056 - I was wondering which remote I use 85 00:04:04,058 --> 00:04:07,047 to go from Apple TV back to cable. 86 00:04:07,049 --> 00:04:08,066 - The small silver one, sir. 87 00:04:09,044 --> 00:04:10,056 - Yeah, I tried that one. 88 00:04:10,058 --> 00:04:12,043 - Fresh blackberries today, Owen? 89 00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,056 - I'll come by later for some, Samuel. 90 00:04:14,058 --> 00:04:16,052 - You're doing that walk through town 91 00:04:16,054 --> 00:04:18,047 like you're fucking Belle in "Beauty and the Beast." 92 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,047 Jesus Christ, do you know how annoying it is 93 00:04:20,049 --> 00:04:21,053 for me on my end? 94 00:04:21,055 --> 00:04:22,059 - I apologize, sir. 95 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:23,063 - Oh, okay, wait. 96 00:04:23,065 --> 00:04:25,049 The silver one is working now. 97 00:04:25,051 --> 00:04:26,051 - Splendid, sir. 98 00:04:26,053 --> 00:04:27,066 - It wasn't before, though. 99 00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:30,056 All right, well, I'm gonna watch "Below Deck." 100 00:04:30,058 --> 00:04:33,051 - Good morning, O-- - He's on the fucking phone! 101 00:04:33,053 --> 00:04:35,055 Okay, well, that's it on my end. 102 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,057 Enjoy your day off. 103 00:04:36,059 --> 00:04:37,058 - If you need anything else-- 104 00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:38,065 - No, no, I'm good. 105 00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:40,061 I'll talk to you later. Ciao. 106 00:04:42,047 --> 00:04:49,049 ♪ ♪ 107 00:04:58,049 --> 00:05:00,064 - Hello? - Hey. What are you doing? 108 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:03,044 - Just making a cup of tea, sir. 109 00:05:03,046 --> 00:05:04,066 - Cool. I'm having tea too. 110 00:05:05,044 --> 00:05:07,066 So has it started raining there yet? 111 00:05:08,044 --> 00:05:09,055 - Not yet, no, sir. 112 00:05:09,057 --> 00:05:11,048 - That's good. That's good. 113 00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:12,054 Maybe it won't rain there, 114 00:05:12,056 --> 00:05:13,065 day off and all that. 115 00:05:14,043 --> 00:05:15,046 Ooh, are you in the kitchen? 116 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,052 Show me your kitchen. 117 00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,062 - It's nothing much to speak of, 118 00:05:17,064 --> 00:05:19,052 Your Royal Highness. 119 00:05:19,054 --> 00:05:21,048 - It's cute, O. 120 00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:24,059 All right, well, I'll let you get back to your tea. 121 00:05:24,061 --> 00:05:25,060 - Goodbye, sir. 122 00:05:25,062 --> 00:05:28,049 - Yup. See you tomorrow. 123 00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:46,057 - Hello? - Quick question. 124 00:05:46,059 --> 00:05:48,060 How long is an avocado good for? 125 00:05:48,062 --> 00:05:50,061 - They're good for several days, sir. 126 00:05:50,063 --> 00:05:53,045 - So if it's a little brown, it's still okay? 127 00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:54,059 - Yes, that should be fine, sir. 128 00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:56,063 - Yeah, thought so. Just checking. 129 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:58,044 Is that your garden? 130 00:05:58,046 --> 00:06:00,057 - Yes. It's very, very small. 131 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,065 - It's fucking adorable is what it is. 132 00:06:03,043 --> 00:06:05,045 Everything is so tiny and cute. 133 00:06:05,047 --> 00:06:07,055 It's like you live in a dollhouse, O. 134 00:06:07,057 --> 00:06:09,048 - It suits my needs, sir. 135 00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:12,044 - Anyway, I gotta go, but thanks for calling. 136 00:06:19,055 --> 00:06:22,058 ♪ ♪ 137 00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:23,066 - I don't have long. 138 00:06:24,044 --> 00:06:25,057 I told William I was serving porridge 139 00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:26,058 to battered women. 140 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:28,047 - Then let's get to it. 141 00:06:28,049 --> 00:06:30,049 So you're positive you want to leave your husband? 142 00:06:30,051 --> 00:06:32,062 - Yes! I've already found a place to live. 143 00:06:32,064 --> 00:06:34,058 And I'm applying for a job at goop. 144 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,057 - Ooh, goop. 145 00:06:36,059 --> 00:06:39,055 Well, I'll start working on the papers, then. 146 00:06:39,057 --> 00:06:41,048 - Nobody must know. 147 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,064 I fear for my life. 148 00:06:42,066 --> 00:06:43,062 - Really? 149 00:06:43,064 --> 00:06:45,043 - Well, not really, 150 00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:46,064 but, you know, it's bad there. 151 00:06:46,066 --> 00:06:49,047 - Can I ask, what's the queen like? 152 00:06:49,049 --> 00:06:50,049 Is she nice? 153 00:06:50,051 --> 00:06:52,061 - She's a fucking nightmare. 154 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,054 I'll be in touch. 155 00:07:01,048 --> 00:07:03,048 - Hello, sir. - Hey. 156 00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:04,057 I'm bored. 157 00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:06,049 Anything going on over there? 158 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,051 - No, no, nothing at all. 159 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,055 - Hello, Owen. Good to see ya. 160 00:07:10,057 --> 00:07:11,057 - Hello, Toby. 161 00:07:11,059 --> 00:07:14,049 - Well, if it isn't Owen. 162 00:07:14,051 --> 00:07:15,051 - Hello, Vera. 163 00:07:15,053 --> 00:07:17,043 - Ugh, now you're at Cheers. 164 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,065 - Where you been hidin', Owen? 165 00:07:19,043 --> 00:07:20,052 You haven't called. 166 00:07:20,054 --> 00:07:22,054 - Been meaning to, Vera. 167 00:07:22,056 --> 00:07:23,062 Work. 168 00:07:23,064 --> 00:07:24,066 Rock climbing. 169 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,049 - Rock climbing? 170 00:07:26,051 --> 00:07:27,057 - Right. 171 00:07:27,059 --> 00:07:29,044 Sure. 172 00:07:29,046 --> 00:07:31,048 Usual? - Please. 173 00:07:32,050 --> 00:07:33,060 - Oh, my God. 174 00:07:33,062 --> 00:07:35,043 You're dating her. 175 00:07:35,045 --> 00:07:36,065 - We're just friends, sir. 176 00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:39,057 - O, O, O, 177 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,045 you're dating her. 178 00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:42,060 - Here we are, now, Owen, 179 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,048 pie and mash. 180 00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:46,059 - Well, I'll let you get back to Mrs. Lovett. 181 00:07:46,061 --> 00:07:48,053 - Who's that little tyke? 182 00:07:48,055 --> 00:07:50,057 Is that the little prince? 183 00:07:50,059 --> 00:07:51,065 - Yes, it is. 184 00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:53,064 - Don't. Don't put me on with-- 185 00:07:53,066 --> 00:07:55,058 Hi! 186 00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:57,056 How are you, dear? 187 00:07:57,058 --> 00:07:59,054 - 'Ello, sweetheart! 188 00:07:59,056 --> 00:08:02,047 - Oh, look at those teeth. How fun. 189 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,047 - Bye, lovey. 190 00:08:04,063 --> 00:08:07,051 - Don't ever do that again. 191 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,055 All right, go eat. 192 00:08:08,057 --> 00:08:11,043 Your cat pie is getting cold. 193 00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:13,047 - Can I get you anything else, Owen? 194 00:08:13,049 --> 00:08:14,052 - No, thank you, Vera. 195 00:08:14,054 --> 00:08:16,048 - Right, then, love. 196 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,059 Give us a call sometime, eh? 197 00:08:22,058 --> 00:08:27,055 ♪ ♪ 198 00:08:31,063 --> 00:08:33,049 - Evening, Owen. 199 00:08:33,051 --> 00:08:35,056 - Evening, Gladys! 200 00:08:56,044 --> 00:08:58,050 - Quick, turn on HGTV. 201 00:09:00,053 --> 00:09:02,058 - Hi, I'm Meghan Markle. 202 00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:04,058 - And I'm Harry... 203 00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:08,047 Harry. - And we're "Royally Screwed." 204 00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:11,053 - Each week, we take a house 205 00:09:11,055 --> 00:09:13,054 from drab... - To fab. 206 00:09:13,056 --> 00:09:15,062 The Anderson family had $75,000 207 00:09:15,064 --> 00:09:18,054 to renovate their three-bedroom ranch house. 208 00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:20,054 - It was our live savings. 209 00:09:20,056 --> 00:09:22,048 - Anderson family, do you remember 210 00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:24,056 what your house used to look like? 211 00:09:24,058 --> 00:09:27,048 Would you like to see what it looks like now? 212 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,048 yeah! 213 00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:30,052 - Then come on in, guys. 214 00:09:33,044 --> 00:09:34,061 - Well? 215 00:09:34,063 --> 00:09:37,058 - It...it looks exactly the same. 216 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:38,060 - Look closely. 217 00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:40,054 - I don't see any difference... 218 00:09:40,056 --> 00:09:42,052 at all. - Keep looking. 219 00:09:42,054 --> 00:09:43,058 - I'm worried. 220 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,059 - Shh. 221 00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,066 - Can I get a clue? 222 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,060 - The kitchen. 223 00:09:48,061 --> 00:09:51,052 - I...I don't see it. 224 00:09:51,054 --> 00:09:53,046 - The backsplash? 225 00:09:53,048 --> 00:09:54,064 - Oh, right. 226 00:09:54,066 --> 00:09:55,064 That's new. 227 00:09:55,066 --> 00:09:57,051 - Huh? Huh? 228 00:09:57,053 --> 00:09:58,054 Do you love it? 229 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,062 Real solid gold inlay. 230 00:10:00,064 --> 00:10:03,047 It makes the whole room pop. 231 00:10:03,049 --> 00:10:07,047 - You spent $75,000 on backsplash? 232 00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:08,059 - No. 233 00:10:08,061 --> 00:10:11,049 We spent $100,000! 234 00:10:12,065 --> 00:10:15,063 - I told you we should've gone with the subway tile. 235 00:10:16,065 --> 00:10:17,066 - Well, they've been 236 00:10:18,044 --> 00:10:19,057 royally screwed, all right. 237 00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:22,051 - Owen, did you just make a joke? 238 00:10:22,053 --> 00:10:23,051 - I did, sir. 239 00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:25,047 - I fucking love that. 240 00:10:25,049 --> 00:10:28,044 Ugh, what worse can they do after this, sell insurance? 241 00:10:28,046 --> 00:10:29,056 Ooh, there's a "House Hunters" on now. 242 00:10:29,058 --> 00:10:31,052 I'm gonna watch that. 243 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,053 ♪ ♪ 244 00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:40,044 ♪ ♪ 245 00:10:42,045 --> 00:10:43,047 - Hello, sir. 246 00:10:43,049 --> 00:10:45,052 - Hey. I can't sleep. 247 00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:48,043 - Would you like me to tell you a story, sir? 248 00:10:48,045 --> 00:10:50,049 - No, I'm not a baby. 249 00:10:50,051 --> 00:10:52,044 What story? 250 00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,056 - Well... 251 00:10:56,058 --> 00:10:59,060 once upon a time, there was a very simple man 252 00:10:59,062 --> 00:11:03,058 who lived in a tiny house with a tiny garden, 253 00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:07,052 and he fell in love with a very simple woman. 254 00:11:07,054 --> 00:11:10,062 They took joy in 255 00:11:10,064 --> 00:11:15,047 a walk, a cup of tea, a smile. 256 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,065 And those simple things made them feel 257 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,061 like they were not so simple at all-- 258 00:11:19,063 --> 00:11:21,059 quite the opposite, in fact. 259 00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:24,059 It made them feel like the most special people 260 00:11:24,061 --> 00:11:26,057 in the world. 261 00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:28,065 And one day, they got married, 262 00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:33,056 and this very simple man suddenly became a king 263 00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:36,057 because he had found his queen. 264 00:11:36,059 --> 00:11:39,048 And the tiny house was their palace 265 00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,052 and the tiny garden their kingdom. 266 00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:45,050 And they lived happily for years and years 267 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:48,057 until the queen got very sick and then... 268 00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:53,048 In a breath, was gone. 269 00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:54,062 And the man went from being a king 270 00:11:54,064 --> 00:11:58,043 back to being very simple once again. 271 00:11:59,044 --> 00:12:00,060 But sometimes... 272 00:12:00,062 --> 00:12:04,057 late at night when it's very quiet, 273 00:12:04,059 --> 00:12:06,057 she comes to him, 274 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,062 and just for a moment... 275 00:12:10,056 --> 00:12:12,052 He is a king. 276 00:12:17,066 --> 00:12:19,064 Good night, George. 277 00:12:32,059 --> 00:12:39,061 ♪ ♪