1
00:00:10,061 --> 00:00:13,061
[dramatic orchestral music]
2
00:00:13,063 --> 00:00:20,065
♪ ♪
3
00:00:22,050 --> 00:00:25,049
[choir vocalizing]
4
00:00:25,051 --> 00:00:32,053
♪ ♪
5
00:00:44,066 --> 00:00:45,064
- I told you,
6
00:00:45,066 --> 00:00:47,048
I'll get you the documents
7
00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:49,052
as soon as there's an opening.
8
00:00:49,054 --> 00:00:52,052
I have to go.
I'm walking into breakfast.
9
00:00:52,054 --> 00:00:54,061
Yes, it's a nice spread.
10
00:00:54,063 --> 00:00:57,055
Hi, George.
Oh, is that French toast?
11
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,062
- Why? Do I look fat?
12
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I mean, yes.
13
00:01:00,048 --> 00:01:02,053
- Excuse me,
I'm late for an appointment.
14
00:01:02,055 --> 00:01:04,064
- I didn't think the pubs
were open yet.
15
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- I have a haircut,
if you must know.
16
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That's when someone takes
scissors and cuts your hair,
17
00:01:09,053 --> 00:01:10,061
in case you forgot.
18
00:01:10,063 --> 00:01:12,050
- God, you're insufferable.
19
00:01:12,052 --> 00:01:14,046
- And you're bald.
20
00:01:14,048 --> 00:01:17,054
- It's like watching
"Marriage Story" every morning.
21
00:01:19,056 --> 00:01:21,063
- Don't fill up.
Don't you remember?
22
00:01:21,065 --> 00:01:24,051
It's date night.
23
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Well, say something.
24
00:01:30,059 --> 00:01:32,047
- I remembered, dear.
25
00:01:32,049 --> 00:01:36,059
- Oh, I wuv you vewwy much.
26
00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:39,061
- I wuv you vewwy much too.
27
00:01:39,063 --> 00:01:41,046
- Date night?
28
00:01:41,048 --> 00:01:42,059
Well, that sounds like
a jolly good time.
29
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:46,057
- So that means
Gan Gan's gone tonight?
30
00:01:46,059 --> 00:01:49,058
- Yes.
A jolly good time, Charles.
31
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:50,066
Fucking dolt.
32
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:54,046
We're going to The Grill,
right handsome?
33
00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:57,047
- For how long, exactly?
34
00:01:57,049 --> 00:01:58,062
- What is up with you?
35
00:01:58,064 --> 00:02:01,055
- The Grill? Why, Camilla and I
adore it there.
36
00:02:01,057 --> 00:02:03,064
Oh, it would be so much fun
to go with you and Dad.
37
00:02:03,066 --> 00:02:05,044
Can we join?
38
00:02:05,046 --> 00:02:07,054
- No.
- Mummy. Mummy. Please!
39
00:02:07,056 --> 00:02:09,064
Oh, Mummy, please!
Let us go, Mummy.
40
00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:13,044
It's all I want.
Mummy, you must let us come.
41
00:02:13,046 --> 00:02:16,049
- Fine. Shut up. You can come.
42
00:02:18,058 --> 00:02:21,048
God, I am so hot for you, baby.
43
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:27,048
- I'm...so hot for you too.
44
00:02:28,049 --> 00:02:31,049
♪ ♪
45
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- This just came on the market,
46
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and you're the first
to see it, Ms.--
47
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,064
- Uh... Middletin.
48
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:37,064
- That's so funny.
49
00:02:37,066 --> 00:02:39,052
You look a bit like her too.
50
00:02:39,054 --> 00:02:41,053
But I'm not a royalist.
They're so useless.
51
00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:43,064
- Yeah, kind of like
real estate agents.
52
00:02:43,066 --> 00:02:46,052
Show me the house
I've already seen online.
53
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:52,056
Oh, wow.
54
00:02:52,058 --> 00:02:54,056
It's smaller than I thought.
55
00:02:54,058 --> 00:02:55,060
I'll let you know.
56
00:02:55,062 --> 00:02:57,057
- Of course, Ms. Middleton.
57
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- Middletin!
58
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It's two completely
different names.
59
00:03:00,053 --> 00:03:01,050
♪ ♪
60
00:03:01,052 --> 00:03:02,064
[school bell rings]
61
00:03:02,066 --> 00:03:04,053
- Don't forget, everyone,
62
00:03:04,055 --> 00:03:07,045
science fair projects
are due tomorrow.
63
00:03:07,047 --> 00:03:08,054
- Science fair? What?
64
00:03:08,056 --> 00:03:10,060
- Yeah, our projects
are due tomorrow.
65
00:03:10,062 --> 00:03:12,046
- Since when?
66
00:03:12,048 --> 00:03:13,064
This is the first
I'm fucking hearing about it.
67
00:03:13,066 --> 00:03:16,049
- Since you were in Mustique
for a month.
68
00:03:16,051 --> 00:03:19,045
- Well, sorry for enjoying
some time off.
69
00:03:19,047 --> 00:03:20,051
Jesus.
70
00:03:20,053 --> 00:03:22,062
I work harder
than anyone around here.
71
00:03:22,064 --> 00:03:24,054
Dinesh, I'm not going to maths.
72
00:03:24,056 --> 00:03:26,048
Can you hand in my homework?
73
00:03:26,050 --> 00:03:29,051
- It's blank though.
- So fill it out!
74
00:03:31,061 --> 00:03:32,058
- Greg! Greg!
75
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:34,050
I completely forgot.
76
00:03:34,052 --> 00:03:36,054
Do you know what tonight is?
77
00:03:36,056 --> 00:03:37,066
- Fish and chips Thursday?
Yeah.
78
00:03:38,044 --> 00:03:39,054
I mean, I'm excited, but--
79
00:03:39,056 --> 00:03:41,066
- No, no. It's date night.
80
00:03:42,044 --> 00:03:43,053
- Oh, my God. It is!
81
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:45,057
Guys, it's date night!
82
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,056
[cheering]
83
00:03:47,058 --> 00:03:49,066
- And Charles and Camilla
are joining them too!
84
00:03:50,044 --> 00:03:52,062
- Hoorah!
- Yay!
85
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:55,047
- Date...night?
86
00:03:55,049 --> 00:03:56,055
- Yes, Kevin.
87
00:03:56,057 --> 00:03:58,052
When the Queen and Philip
have a date night,
88
00:03:58,054 --> 00:04:00,048
there's no family dinner
to prepare.
89
00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:02,059
It's the closest thing
we have to a holiday.
90
00:04:02,061 --> 00:04:04,058
I'll probably have a pint
with the mates later
91
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:05,064
if you'd like to join.
92
00:04:05,066 --> 00:04:09,064
- Are...we...mates?
93
00:04:09,066 --> 00:04:12,054
- Yeah, of course
we're mates, Kevin.
94
00:04:14,056 --> 00:04:17,044
- I was thinking I'd grab
a bottle of Whispering Angel
95
00:04:17,046 --> 00:04:19,056
and we can finally start
"Game of Thrones."
96
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:21,063
- Yes! We can see what
all the hype's about.
97
00:04:21,065 --> 00:04:23,047
I can't believe we've managed
98
00:04:23,049 --> 00:04:25,059
to avoid every spoiler
for 11 years.
99
00:04:25,061 --> 00:04:27,052
- Are you guys talking
about GoT?
100
00:04:27,054 --> 00:04:29,059
I still can't believe
Bran got the throne.
101
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:31,048
- God damn it!
102
00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:34,051
- Owen, Cucumbers.
103
00:04:34,053 --> 00:04:37,050
Thank you.
It's really been a day.
104
00:04:37,052 --> 00:04:39,047
- Just relax,
Your Royal highness.
105
00:04:39,049 --> 00:04:42,043
- I'm so stressed, O.
- Why is that, sir?
106
00:04:42,045 --> 00:04:45,049
- I just found out my science
fair project is due tomorrow
107
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,063
and I really have to win.
108
00:04:46,065 --> 00:04:49,045
I mean, how would it look
if the future King of England
109
00:04:49,047 --> 00:04:50,066
can't even win a science fair?
110
00:04:51,044 --> 00:04:52,060
Not good, Owen. That's how.
111
00:04:52,062 --> 00:04:54,053
- I see, Sir. Do you need help?
112
00:04:54,055 --> 00:04:55,063
- No, but you might.
113
00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:57,054
- Pardon, Sir?
- Yeah, well, I mean,
114
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I'm not doing it.
Look at me. I'm busy.
115
00:05:00,044 --> 00:05:03,045
I've got fucking cucumbers
on my eyes for Christ's sake.
116
00:05:03,047 --> 00:05:04,052
- Understood, Sir.
117
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,059
I'll see what
I can put together.
118
00:05:05,061 --> 00:05:06,065
- Put together?
119
00:05:07,043 --> 00:05:08,064
No, no, no.
It's got to be great.
120
00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:11,058
I told you
I have to win this thing.
121
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,053
Ugh, so much pressure.
122
00:05:13,055 --> 00:05:16,053
I'm getting one of my migraines
just thinking about it.
123
00:05:16,055 --> 00:05:18,059
- Not one of
your migraines, Sir!
124
00:05:18,061 --> 00:05:20,044
Please, God.
125
00:05:20,046 --> 00:05:22,054
- Just make me
a realistic working volcano
126
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:23,054
with smoke and lava.
127
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,061
You know, all that shit.
128
00:05:24,063 --> 00:05:26,046
- I'll get started right away,
Sir.
129
00:05:26,048 --> 00:05:27,058
- Buh, buh, b-b-buh.
Wait.
130
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,063
I have 20 minutes left
in the mask.
131
00:05:30,066 --> 00:05:33,046
Don't make that face at me.
132
00:05:35,055 --> 00:05:37,049
- Andy,
you gotta be kidding me.
133
00:05:37,051 --> 00:05:39,046
I've brought plenty of conflict
to the show.
134
00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:42,059
- I'm sorry, Meghan.
It's just not working out.
135
00:05:42,061 --> 00:05:46,050
All you talked about all season
was your line of ketchup.
136
00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:49,054
And please stop
sending me samples.
137
00:05:49,056 --> 00:05:50,065
- I hear you, Andy.
138
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:52,057
I'll amp it up.
I-I'll smash a wine glass.
139
00:05:52,059 --> 00:05:54,049
I'll tell Kyle
she has Munchausen syndrome.
140
00:05:54,051 --> 00:05:56,048
I'll accuse
Dorit of doing coke.
141
00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:58,062
- Lisa Rinna already
did all that.
142
00:05:58,064 --> 00:05:59,062
- All of them?
143
00:05:59,064 --> 00:06:01,056
- Yeah, she's good.
144
00:06:01,058 --> 00:06:04,064
Anyway, I guess we could
bring you back as a friend.
145
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:08,047
- A friend? No, thank you.
I'm not that desperate.
146
00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:10,056
- Are you sure?
147
00:06:10,058 --> 00:06:13,062
I mean, that silence definitely
says you are, but okay.
148
00:06:13,064 --> 00:06:15,053
Bye.
- Wait, wait, wait.
149
00:06:15,055 --> 00:06:17,050
Andy, wait!
150
00:06:17,052 --> 00:06:18,066
Bravo fired me.
151
00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:20,066
Well, not really,
but basically.
152
00:06:21,044 --> 00:06:22,061
They only offered me "friend"
153
00:06:22,063 --> 00:06:24,057
of the Housewives
for next season.
154
00:06:24,059 --> 00:06:27,061
- Oh, shit.
They Vicki Gunvalsoned you.
155
00:06:27,063 --> 00:06:29,057
- How do you even know who--
[grunts]
156
00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:30,065
You know what?
157
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:33,053
Whatever.
I am not a fucking friend.
158
00:06:33,055 --> 00:06:36,064
Fuck that.
Those fucking fuckers.
159
00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:38,058
- Fuck.
160
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:40,053
- And that's his first word.
161
00:06:40,055 --> 00:06:41,061
Great.
162
00:06:41,063 --> 00:06:42,065
- Probably not the best time
to tell you
163
00:06:43,043 --> 00:06:44,066
I just lost my last client.
164
00:06:45,044 --> 00:06:46,065
- You only had one client.
165
00:06:47,043 --> 00:06:49,058
- I think my time
as a masseur is over.
166
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,059
I guess I broke his neck?
Is that a thing?
167
00:06:51,061 --> 00:06:53,065
- Yes!
[sighs]
168
00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:55,054
We are screwed.
169
00:06:55,056 --> 00:06:57,048
- Wait, what about
your ketchup company?
170
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,052
- That was a dumb idea.
171
00:06:58,054 --> 00:06:59,053
- Then what are we going to do?
172
00:06:59,055 --> 00:07:00,065
Can you get another show?
173
00:07:01,043 --> 00:07:02,059
I mean, not one
that you act on, darling.
174
00:07:02,061 --> 00:07:04,060
I know people don't wanna hire
you for that anymore, but--
175
00:07:04,062 --> 00:07:08,043
- Well, HGTV did call my agents
last week about us,
176
00:07:08,045 --> 00:07:10,065
but at the time I thought
we were too good for them.
177
00:07:11,043 --> 00:07:12,051
- We're not, darling.
178
00:07:12,053 --> 00:07:15,061
♪ ♪
179
00:07:15,063 --> 00:07:17,063
- Did you make
your collections?
180
00:07:21,061 --> 00:07:24,056
These envelopes feel
a little thin.
181
00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:28,053
All right. You can go.
182
00:07:29,058 --> 00:07:31,050
- You just hit me with you hat.
183
00:07:31,052 --> 00:07:33,062
- Let the car know
I'll be right down.
184
00:07:33,064 --> 00:07:37,047
- Yes, Your Majesty.
185
00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:45,066
[exciting music]
186
00:07:46,044 --> 00:07:52,059
♪ ♪
187
00:07:55,048 --> 00:07:57,049
- Hi, Gan Gan.
Have fun at The Grill.
188
00:07:57,051 --> 00:07:59,062
Tell Rudolpho George sent you.
He'll take care of you.
189
00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:02,064
- Sweetheart, I'm the fucking
Queen of England.
190
00:08:03,057 --> 00:08:06,045
- She's such a bad bitch.
191
00:08:06,047 --> 00:08:09,059
[mischievous music]
192
00:08:09,061 --> 00:08:10,064
- I have the documents.
193
00:08:10,066 --> 00:08:12,062
Repeat.
I have the documents.
194
00:08:12,064 --> 00:08:16,049
- Charlotte, what were you
doing in Gan Gan's office?
195
00:08:16,051 --> 00:08:17,064
- I wasn't in Gan Gan's office.
196
00:08:17,066 --> 00:08:20,050
- I literally just
saw you leave.
197
00:08:20,052 --> 00:08:22,048
- You're so funny, George.
198
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:23,053
Making things up.
199
00:08:23,055 --> 00:08:25,046
- Don't try to gaslight me!
200
00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:27,063
- I think someone needs
some fucking glasses.
201
00:08:27,065 --> 00:08:30,051
- Did you--
did you just curse at me?
202
00:08:30,053 --> 00:08:33,049
- I said you need
some fun glasses.
203
00:08:33,051 --> 00:08:35,047
Okay?
Bye, George.
204
00:08:39,063 --> 00:08:44,061
- Owen comma research Lasik
eye surgery full stop.
205
00:08:44,063 --> 00:08:47,044
- Camilla, this was a bold move
on your part--
206
00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:48,060
inviting us to
their date night.
207
00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:50,046
Ooh, I'm nervous.
208
00:08:50,048 --> 00:08:51,065
Mummy, I want to be king.
209
00:08:52,043 --> 00:08:53,051
Yes. That's what I'll say.
210
00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:55,054
Exactly right, Camilla.
She's had her go.
211
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,059
Now it's my turn.
212
00:08:56,061 --> 00:08:58,046
I'm not a little boy
any longer.
213
00:08:58,048 --> 00:08:59,057
I don't have to go running
whenever she--
214
00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:00,062
[loud knocking]
- Charles! Hurry up!
215
00:09:00,064 --> 00:09:01,065
We're leaving!
216
00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:03,059
- Coming, Mummy.
217
00:09:05,064 --> 00:09:08,050
- What do you think,
Your Royal Highness?
218
00:09:08,052 --> 00:09:09,065
- I'm not sure.
219
00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:11,056
- But, Sir, look.
220
00:09:17,053 --> 00:09:19,060
- I know I told you
I wanted a volcano,
221
00:09:19,062 --> 00:09:21,046
but now I'm thinking--
222
00:09:21,048 --> 00:09:23,051
mm, it's a bit basic.
223
00:09:23,053 --> 00:09:25,062
It seems a little played out,
you know?
224
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,056
I was just texting
with Sebastian
225
00:09:27,058 --> 00:09:29,053
and he's doing a volcano too.
226
00:09:29,055 --> 00:09:31,052
So, yeah, I just--
227
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:33,045
I don't see this winning.
228
00:09:33,047 --> 00:09:36,062
- I doubt Sebastian's volcano
will be as good as this one.
229
00:09:36,064 --> 00:09:38,044
- Owen,
230
00:09:38,046 --> 00:09:41,056
I'm trying very hard
not to slap you.
231
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:44,059
Now make...something...
232
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:47,054
that...will win.
233
00:09:47,056 --> 00:09:50,061
[music playing,
indistinct chatter]
234
00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:59,063
- Philip, you look
so handsome in candlelight.
235
00:10:01,047 --> 00:10:02,064
- Your Majesty, this is the--
236
00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:04,062
- Just shut up and put it down.
237
00:10:06,061 --> 00:10:08,057
Philip and I get this
every time.
238
00:10:08,059 --> 00:10:10,056
You have to try it.
- Lovely.
239
00:10:10,058 --> 00:10:12,045
As long as there's not
any shellfish.
240
00:10:12,047 --> 00:10:14,055
Camilla has--
- I don't know. Just eat it!
241
00:10:14,057 --> 00:10:17,057
- Because if it's shellfish--
- Eat it, you pussies!
242
00:10:20,049 --> 00:10:22,050
See? Delicious.
243
00:10:22,052 --> 00:10:25,062
- Mmm. It is.
Scrummy! Mmm.
244
00:10:25,064 --> 00:10:27,052
So...
245
00:10:27,054 --> 00:10:30,064
there's something I must talk
with you about, Mummy.
246
00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:32,055
Barely noticeable, darling.
247
00:10:32,057 --> 00:10:34,056
- Whatever it is Charles,
make it quick.
248
00:10:34,058 --> 00:10:35,066
I'm exhausted.
249
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:40,046
You have no idea
how much work it is
250
00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:42,063
to be the head of a state,
family, and syndicate.
251
00:10:42,065 --> 00:10:44,065
- Syndicate?
- It's an expression!
252
00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:46,046
- Then I'll be brief.
253
00:10:46,048 --> 00:10:47,059
Mummy, I want to be--
254
00:10:47,061 --> 00:10:49,058
[liquid rushing]
255
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:54,046
Well, this was fun.
256
00:10:54,048 --> 00:10:56,064
[exciting instrumental music]
257
00:10:56,066 --> 00:10:59,044
- It's okay that we know
the ending.
258
00:10:59,046 --> 00:11:01,043
It's all about the journey.
- Totally.
259
00:11:01,045 --> 00:11:02,064
There's still so much
we don't know.
260
00:11:02,066 --> 00:11:05,065
- Guys, they're back early.
We gotta get up there.
261
00:11:06,043 --> 00:11:07,050
Oh, Ned Stark.
262
00:11:07,052 --> 00:11:09,045
I was so bummed
when they cut off his head
263
00:11:09,047 --> 00:11:10,048
at the end of season one.
264
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,066
- Motherfucker!
265
00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:15,048
- Did you hear Camilla threw up
266
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,060
all over the Queen?
- Yes.
267
00:11:17,062 --> 00:11:20,061
It's the first thing that's
come out of her mouth in years.
268
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:22,046
[laughter]
269
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:26,063
- William, I didn't have a hair
appointment this morning.
270
00:11:26,065 --> 00:11:28,044
I actually--
- It's fine.
271
00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:29,064
- No. I meant I didn't go--
272
00:11:29,066 --> 00:11:31,048
- I said it's fine.
273
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:32,054
I don't care.
274
00:11:32,056 --> 00:11:34,047
I'm tired, Kate.
275
00:11:36,052 --> 00:11:38,043
[sighs]
Great.
276
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:40,055
I feel a shit brewing.
277
00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:49,064
- It's Ms. Middletin.
I'll take the house.
278
00:11:50,064 --> 00:11:53,044
Middle-tin!
279
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,046
[lively instrumental music]
280
00:11:56,048 --> 00:12:00,054
♪ ♪
281
00:12:00,056 --> 00:12:03,054
[computer beeping]
282
00:12:04,046 --> 00:12:06,061
- And the winner is...
283
00:12:06,063 --> 00:12:08,055
Prince George.
284
00:12:08,057 --> 00:12:11,059
[applause]
285
00:12:15,046 --> 00:12:16,050
- This is it?
286
00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:18,059
That's a fucking
particle accelerator.
287
00:12:18,061 --> 00:12:21,061
[dramatic orchestral music]
288
00:12:21,063 --> 00:12:28,065
♪ ♪