1 00:00:10,061 --> 00:00:13,065 [dramatic orchestral music] 2 00:00:14,043 --> 00:00:21,045 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:26,055 [choir vocalizing] 4 00:00:26,057 --> 00:00:33,059 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:39,052 [car door closes] 6 00:00:42,053 --> 00:00:43,060 - The whole trip is casual, 7 00:00:43,062 --> 00:00:46,066 so let's just do Gucci, Prada, Tom Brown. 8 00:00:47,044 --> 00:00:49,055 Are you excited to go to the Caribbean, Owen? 9 00:00:49,057 --> 00:00:51,049 - Of course, Your Royal Highness. 10 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,043 - You know, this is gonna be like a vacation 11 00:00:53,045 --> 00:00:54,056 for you, too, O. 12 00:00:54,058 --> 00:00:56,055 I mean, I might ask you for a picture or two for Instagram, 13 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,059 but other than that, you're barely gonna see me, 14 00:00:58,061 --> 00:01:00,052 so bring plenty of books. 15 00:01:00,054 --> 00:01:01,062 - I will, sir. 16 00:01:01,064 --> 00:01:04,049 - You could sound more excited, Jesus. 17 00:01:04,051 --> 00:01:06,051 How many butlers get to go to Mustique? 18 00:01:06,053 --> 00:01:08,049 Not a lot, that's how many. 19 00:01:08,051 --> 00:01:11,043 - I'm very excited, sir. - Do you even tan? 20 00:01:11,045 --> 00:01:12,063 What happens to that skin? 21 00:01:12,065 --> 00:01:15,053 Does it just get blotchy or-- never mind. 22 00:01:15,055 --> 00:01:17,055 Why am I asking him questions? 23 00:01:17,057 --> 00:01:20,047 Hey, O, do I have the legs for this swimsuit? 24 00:01:20,049 --> 00:01:21,058 And don't lie. 25 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:23,058 - There's nothing you can't wear, sir. 26 00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,059 You have a body made for clothes. 27 00:01:25,061 --> 00:01:28,059 - Aw, thanks, O. This is gonna be such a fun trip. 28 00:01:28,061 --> 00:01:30,050 Too bad your wife couldn't make it, 29 00:01:30,052 --> 00:01:32,058 you know, 'cause she's dead and all. 30 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:35,054 You know what? No. It's better just us anyway. 31 00:01:35,056 --> 00:01:37,065 - I can't believe we get to go to the Caribbean. 32 00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:39,047 - It's a dream. 33 00:01:39,049 --> 00:01:41,055 It's all a wonderful dream, Douglas. 34 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:44,049 - This is going to be the honeymoon we never had, Greg. 35 00:01:44,051 --> 00:01:47,043 - I know! And I think it's just what we need. 36 00:01:47,045 --> 00:01:50,045 - Oh, do we need something? 37 00:01:50,047 --> 00:01:52,051 I thought we were happy. - We are! 38 00:01:52,053 --> 00:01:53,065 That's not at all what I meant. I'm just saying-- 39 00:01:54,043 --> 00:01:56,047 - Do you still find me attractive? 40 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,066 - Come here. 41 00:01:58,044 --> 00:02:01,051 - [sobbing] 42 00:02:01,053 --> 00:02:03,048 Shh. 43 00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:05,059 - I'm being so silly. 44 00:02:05,061 --> 00:02:07,066 ♪ ♪ 45 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,058 - Excuse me. Yeah, hey. 46 00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:11,065 Are there any of the cashmere Hermès blankets? 47 00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:15,048 This one is cotton, and it's slicing my skin. 48 00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:17,056 - I believe those are the only blankets on board, 49 00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:19,049 Your Royal Highness. 50 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,065 - This plane fucking sucks. 51 00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:23,051 Go. Stop looking at me. 52 00:02:28,046 --> 00:02:29,052 - Sluts. 53 00:02:29,054 --> 00:02:31,055 - Wha-- - Sluts. 54 00:02:31,057 --> 00:02:32,064 - Oh. 55 00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:35,048 - Oi! Nuts! 56 00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:36,060 - Right away, sir. 57 00:02:36,062 --> 00:02:40,046 Can you get me some mixed nuts? - I'm on break. 58 00:02:40,048 --> 00:02:45,056 - [slowly] Mixed nuts. 59 00:02:45,058 --> 00:02:47,066 - Brilliant. Thank you, Kevin. 60 00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:51,065 Are they warm? - Duh. 61 00:02:52,043 --> 00:02:55,049 - So where is it you're from, again, mate? 62 00:02:55,051 --> 00:02:59,049 - Scotland. 63 00:02:59,051 --> 00:03:00,059 - Got it. 64 00:03:00,061 --> 00:03:03,061 - I can't wait to see you in that bikini, darling. 65 00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:08,049 Yes, all anybody is going to be talking about is your figure. 66 00:03:08,051 --> 00:03:10,049 - [coughs] Blech. 67 00:03:10,051 --> 00:03:11,062 [retches] 68 00:03:11,064 --> 00:03:14,045 - Is there anything you need, Your Royal Highness? 69 00:03:14,047 --> 00:03:16,049 - Yeah, an airsick bag. 70 00:03:16,051 --> 00:03:18,061 You having fun back there with your little friends? 71 00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:21,045 I guess this is like Spring Break for you people. 72 00:03:21,047 --> 00:03:23,063 - Just wanted to make sure you have everything you need, sir. 73 00:03:23,065 --> 00:03:25,050 - Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. 74 00:03:25,052 --> 00:03:27,053 Remember, this is your vacation, too, Owen, 75 00:03:27,055 --> 00:03:29,043 so just have fun, okay? 76 00:03:29,045 --> 00:03:30,066 Really, don't worry about me. 77 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,063 - That's very kind, sir. 78 00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:34,046 - Actually, O, before you go, 79 00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,065 get a pic of me in my seat here. 80 00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:38,045 I'll pretend I'm looking out at the clouds. 81 00:03:38,047 --> 00:03:41,046 [camera shutter clicks] Ugh. 82 00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:42,059 You didn't use portrait mode? 83 00:03:42,061 --> 00:03:43,063 Never mind. 84 00:03:43,065 --> 00:03:44,066 It's fine. It's fine. 85 00:03:45,044 --> 00:03:46,060 Plane photos are passé, anyway. 86 00:03:46,062 --> 00:03:48,049 All I need from you this trip 87 00:03:48,051 --> 00:03:50,049 is one perfect Instagram, O. 88 00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:51,054 Got it? 89 00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:53,066 Now get back in economy. 90 00:03:54,044 --> 00:03:56,048 - So, after we arrive, 91 00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:57,062 do you think we could possibly-- 92 00:03:57,064 --> 00:03:59,058 - No. - Well, what about-- 93 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:01,054 - No. - Or even-- 94 00:04:01,056 --> 00:04:03,044 - No. - Right. 95 00:04:03,046 --> 00:04:05,064 Well, lovely chatting. 96 00:04:05,066 --> 00:04:08,055 - He's not giving that one a rose? 97 00:04:08,057 --> 00:04:09,058 - Nope. 98 00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:12,051 - But he just fucked her. 99 00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:18,061 ♪ ♪ 100 00:04:18,063 --> 00:04:20,056 - Welcome, Your Majesty. 101 00:04:20,058 --> 00:04:22,046 - [belches loudly] 102 00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:24,053 Excuse me. Thanks. 103 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,043 [waves crashing] 104 00:04:28,065 --> 00:04:31,051 - Your Majesty. - Yum. 105 00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:36,048 Is there anything more beachy than thick, rare roast beef? 106 00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:38,066 - Camilla in a bikini comes to mind. 107 00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:40,055 - We're eating! 108 00:04:40,057 --> 00:04:42,047 - Has anybody seen Owen? 109 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,059 "Owen, comma, where the fuck are you, question mark, 110 00:04:44,061 --> 00:04:46,060 question mark, question mark." 111 00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:49,066 - [grunting] 112 00:04:50,044 --> 00:04:51,057 - Hello, all. Sorry we're late. 113 00:04:51,059 --> 00:04:54,043 Our flight was delayed-- you know, JetBlue. 114 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,044 - We don't know. Gross. 115 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,062 - It was Mint, though. Tell them, we were in Mint. 116 00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:03,058 - Oh, they gave you a mint. How lovely for you. 117 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,048 I have some gum in my purse if you'd like. 118 00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,058 - No, we were in Mint. 119 00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:09,048 It's like their business class. It's really nice. 120 00:05:09,050 --> 00:05:10,058 They give you these cookies and-- 121 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:14,048 - Meghan, I'm begging you to stop now. 122 00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:16,058 - And then people kept wanting to get a picture. 123 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:19,052 You know, because I'm on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." 124 00:05:19,054 --> 00:05:21,050 So a lot of people coming up to us. 125 00:05:21,052 --> 00:05:22,063 - Uh-huh. 126 00:05:22,065 --> 00:05:24,061 - There was something you needed, Your Royal Highness? 127 00:05:24,063 --> 00:05:26,048 - Yeah, my fucking butler. 128 00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:29,057 I'm sitting here cutting my own meat like an animal. 129 00:05:29,059 --> 00:05:30,065 Ugh, not now, not now. 130 00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:32,058 - Do you want a picture here, sir? 131 00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:34,061 I'll do it in portrait mode this time. 132 00:05:34,063 --> 00:05:37,053 - Do I want a picture of me eating roast beef? 133 00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:39,043 No, you idiot. Later. 134 00:05:39,045 --> 00:05:42,058 - Children, would you like to go play in the sand? 135 00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:44,059 - Wait, are you- are you talking to me? 136 00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:46,051 Is she talking to me? 137 00:05:46,053 --> 00:05:48,061 - Go play with them, William. - You play with them. 138 00:05:48,063 --> 00:05:51,056 - Oh, and I brought some of my homemade ketchup. 139 00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:53,050 I'm coming out with a line of condiments-- 140 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,045 ketchups, mustards, that sort of thing. 141 00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:57,053 - We're really taking LA by storm. 142 00:05:57,055 --> 00:05:59,058 - Yeah, and the show has been a great platform 143 00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:01,045 to help me promote my brand. 144 00:06:01,047 --> 00:06:04,049 - It's already a brand. It's called Heinz. 145 00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:09,047 - Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! 146 00:06:15,055 --> 00:06:17,063 There, good as new. 147 00:06:24,044 --> 00:06:27,065 - All it would take is one giant wave. 148 00:06:28,043 --> 00:06:30,050 - I was thinking the same thing. 149 00:06:30,052 --> 00:06:31,062 You okay, Kevin? 150 00:06:31,064 --> 00:06:35,051 - Water. 151 00:06:35,053 --> 00:06:39,066 Beautiful. 152 00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:42,050 - Careful, you're starting to burn. 153 00:06:42,052 --> 00:06:44,062 - Isn't he always that color? 154 00:06:44,064 --> 00:06:47,059 - Watch and learn here. [grunting] 155 00:06:47,061 --> 00:06:51,061 On the head. Off the-- On the--bing, bang! 156 00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:54,054 Oi, Georgie! Football! 157 00:06:54,056 --> 00:06:57,050 - No, I don't want to. Get away from me with that. 158 00:06:57,052 --> 00:07:00,051 - Ready? Ready? Ready? Go on. To me! 159 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,053 - I said knock it off with that. 160 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,065 - Yes, I told you. I'm working on it. 161 00:07:05,043 --> 00:07:06,046 Hi, George. 162 00:07:06,048 --> 00:07:08,066 - Hey. Why do you have two cell phones? 163 00:07:09,044 --> 00:07:11,044 - It's a toy for little girls. See? 164 00:07:11,046 --> 00:07:14,055 - Okay, whatever. [camera shutter clicks] 165 00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:16,049 Great. You ruined it. 166 00:07:16,051 --> 00:07:18,061 Oof! I said knock it off! 167 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,047 - Look, we have to be careful. 168 00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:22,054 George is starting to get suspicious. 169 00:07:22,056 --> 00:07:25,064 I don't know! I guess he's not as fucking dumb as he looks. 170 00:07:25,066 --> 00:07:29,051 Oh, the weather has been great. Thanks, yeah. 171 00:07:29,053 --> 00:07:32,051 - So all you'd have to do is Instagram yourselves 172 00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:34,055 using my ketchup-- it'd be a huge help. 173 00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:36,043 - I see. 174 00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:38,065 Well, that's something we'll definitely think about. 175 00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:41,066 - Who's that? - That's your nephew, Archie. 176 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,066 - You're pulling my leg. Why have we not met before? 177 00:07:46,044 --> 00:07:48,061 - You've met him, like, a thousand times. 178 00:07:48,063 --> 00:07:51,065 So are you gonna do the fucking Instagram or not? 179 00:07:53,062 --> 00:07:56,048 - Is the pressure okay? - It's great. 180 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,055 - Great. 181 00:07:58,057 --> 00:08:00,049 So what do you do for work? 182 00:08:00,051 --> 00:08:02,065 - I really don't want to talk, if that's okay. 183 00:08:03,043 --> 00:08:05,052 - Right. 184 00:08:05,054 --> 00:08:08,056 I just figured since it's a beach massage. 185 00:08:08,058 --> 00:08:11,045 - Camilla, are you going to take that robe off 186 00:08:11,047 --> 00:08:13,051 and show Mummy your figure? 187 00:08:13,053 --> 00:08:15,044 Yes, darling. 188 00:08:15,046 --> 00:08:18,053 Mummy, doesn't Camilla look like a Victoria's Secret model? 189 00:08:18,055 --> 00:08:22,057 - If Victoria's secret is that she's an old cow, then, yes. 190 00:08:22,059 --> 00:08:24,047 - [laughs] 191 00:08:24,049 --> 00:08:27,050 - That's not-- That's not her secret. 192 00:08:40,049 --> 00:08:43,054 We might need to start feeding these people more. 193 00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:47,061 - When did "Vanity Fair" become such a piece of shit? 194 00:08:47,063 --> 00:08:49,057 You know, you don't have to stand there 195 00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:50,065 with that umbrella, O. 196 00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:52,065 You can go for a swim or something. I'm good. 197 00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:54,061 - But then you would get sunburned, sir. 198 00:08:54,063 --> 00:08:57,050 - Oh, no, it's fine. I only get golden brown. 199 00:08:57,052 --> 00:09:00,047 I don't have the complexion of a 65-year-old alcoholic 200 00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:01,054 who's been outside twice. 201 00:09:01,056 --> 00:09:05,045 - If you're absolutely certain, sir. 202 00:09:05,047 --> 00:09:07,049 Water does look nice, sir. 203 00:09:07,051 --> 00:09:09,045 I've never been in the ocean. 204 00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,060 I'm not quite sure I even know how to swim. 205 00:09:11,062 --> 00:09:13,061 - Really? Aw, that stinks. 206 00:09:13,063 --> 00:09:15,066 In that case, you can take more pictures of me. 207 00:09:16,044 --> 00:09:18,052 I really need a good one for Instagram. 208 00:09:18,054 --> 00:09:20,061 If no one knows I went to Mustique, it's like, 209 00:09:20,063 --> 00:09:22,054 why did I even go, you know? 210 00:09:22,056 --> 00:09:25,057 - Absolutely, sir. - Oh, get a few of me here. 211 00:09:25,059 --> 00:09:28,049 [camera shutter clicking] 212 00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,062 Ugh. None of these are usable. 213 00:09:31,064 --> 00:09:34,043 Do it again. 214 00:09:34,045 --> 00:09:36,057 Well, it would be nice if you gave me a little direction. 215 00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:38,058 What do I do? Where do I move? Hello! 216 00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:40,062 - Of course, sir. Uh, turn this way. 217 00:09:40,064 --> 00:09:42,046 - Sunglasses on or off? 218 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,047 - Let's try it with them on, sir. 219 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:49,048 - Mom, tell Louis stop. 220 00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:52,052 - [crunching] 221 00:09:55,054 --> 00:09:57,059 - Pringle? - No. 222 00:09:57,061 --> 00:09:59,066 - [crunching] 223 00:10:00,044 --> 00:10:03,044 - I'm making it official. I hate him. 224 00:10:03,046 --> 00:10:06,047 - So are we still considering this our honeymoon? 225 00:10:06,049 --> 00:10:07,056 - Once of Prince Philip's balls 226 00:10:07,058 --> 00:10:09,053 got caught in the bathtub drain! 227 00:10:09,055 --> 00:10:12,063 I need someone right now! 228 00:10:12,065 --> 00:10:14,046 - No. 229 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,049 [sighs] 230 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:19,052 ♪ ♪ 231 00:10:19,054 --> 00:10:20,061 - So, yeah, we're hoping 232 00:10:20,063 --> 00:10:22,055 the ketchups and mustards are gonna be sold 233 00:10:22,057 --> 00:10:24,047 at Whole Foods, which, you know, would be huge. 234 00:10:24,049 --> 00:10:26,061 Oh, and they're all organic, in case anyone was wondering. 235 00:10:26,063 --> 00:10:29,046 - We weren't. - [laughs] 236 00:10:29,048 --> 00:10:30,059 - That's two today. 237 00:10:30,061 --> 00:10:33,058 How are your balls? Good. 238 00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:35,047 - Ow. 239 00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:36,064 Sorry. 240 00:10:36,066 --> 00:10:39,053 Ow. Ow. 241 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:42,065 - Oh, Harry, I just found out you had a son. 242 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,060 Congratulations, old man. 243 00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:46,048 - Daughter, but thank you. 244 00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:49,052 - Son, and you didn't just find out. 245 00:10:49,054 --> 00:10:51,063 [sighs] Is it me? - No. 246 00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:54,053 - Anyway, I was saying I had a sunburn. 247 00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:57,055 Ow. That's why I look like a monster. 248 00:10:57,057 --> 00:11:01,064 Oh, sorry. Not that you look like a monster. 249 00:11:01,066 --> 00:11:04,065 Oh, God, I never know what to say to him. 250 00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:06,052 - Just a heads-up-- 251 00:11:06,054 --> 00:11:08,057 Camilla had a bit of a mishap earlier today. 252 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,050 They all understand, darling. 253 00:11:10,052 --> 00:11:12,057 There might be some unfortunately, 254 00:11:12,059 --> 00:11:15,064 well, racy photos appearing online later. 255 00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:18,061 Oh, and if anyone found a bikini top in the water, 256 00:11:18,063 --> 00:11:20,045 it belongs to Camilla. 257 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:24,062 - I thought that was two fishing nets. 258 00:11:24,064 --> 00:11:26,049 Sorry. 259 00:11:27,056 --> 00:11:30,043 - I knew it was a boy. I just forgot. 260 00:11:30,045 --> 00:11:32,062 - Please just let me be annoyed. 261 00:11:32,064 --> 00:11:34,054 ♪ ♪ 262 00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:39,043 - There's barely anything to work with here. 263 00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:41,053 They're all fucking blurry. Do you have tremors? 264 00:11:41,055 --> 00:11:43,052 - I apologize, Your Royal Highness. 265 00:11:43,054 --> 00:11:45,057 I am a very poor photographer. 266 00:11:45,059 --> 00:11:47,043 - Yeah, you are. 267 00:11:47,045 --> 00:11:50,046 Does my face look as bad as I think, O? 268 00:11:50,048 --> 00:11:51,053 - Not at all. 269 00:11:51,055 --> 00:11:53,054 Why, I think it makes you look rugged, sir. 270 00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:56,050 - Like Chris Hemsworth? - Sure. 271 00:11:56,052 --> 00:11:57,062 - Thanks, O. 272 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:59,066 I know you wouldn't say it if you didn't mean it. 273 00:12:00,044 --> 00:12:02,058 Help me get ready for bed. 274 00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,064 Ow. 275 00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:06,046 - I'm sorry you didn't get 276 00:12:06,048 --> 00:12:08,056 your perfect vacation Instagram, sir. 277 00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:10,065 - Oh, I just posted something. 278 00:12:12,053 --> 00:12:13,063 - Oh, I'm in that. 279 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:16,048 - Yeah, it's cute. It's very us. 280 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,054 - Very us, sir. 281 00:12:17,056 --> 00:12:18,059 - Ooh, it's doing well. 282 00:12:18,061 --> 00:12:20,063 Dame Kelly Ripa already liked it. 283 00:12:20,065 --> 00:12:24,044 - Well, good night, sir. 284 00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:26,050 - Would you stay until I fall asleep? 285 00:12:26,052 --> 00:12:28,045 - Of course. 286 00:12:31,064 --> 00:12:35,051 Sir, I think you forgot to tag me? 287 00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,056 - I didn't.