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00:00:10,061 --> 00:00:13,065
[dramatic orchestral music]
2
00:00:14,043 --> 00:00:21,045
♪ ♪
3
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:26,055
[choir vocalizing]
4
00:00:26,057 --> 00:00:33,059
♪ ♪
5
00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:39,052
[car door closes]
6
00:00:42,053 --> 00:00:43,060
- The whole trip is casual,
7
00:00:43,062 --> 00:00:46,066
so let's just do Gucci,
Prada, Tom Brown.
8
00:00:47,044 --> 00:00:49,055
Are you excited to go
to the Caribbean, Owen?
9
00:00:49,057 --> 00:00:51,049
- Of course,
Your Royal Highness.
10
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,043
- You know, this is gonna be
like a vacation
11
00:00:53,045 --> 00:00:54,056
for you, too, O.
12
00:00:54,058 --> 00:00:56,055
I mean, I might ask you for
a picture or two for
Instagram,
13
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,059
but other than that,
you're barely gonna see me,
14
00:00:58,061 --> 00:01:00,052
so bring plenty of books.
15
00:01:00,054 --> 00:01:01,062
- I will, sir.
16
00:01:01,064 --> 00:01:04,049
- You could sound
more excited, Jesus.
17
00:01:04,051 --> 00:01:06,051
How many butlers
get to go to Mustique?
18
00:01:06,053 --> 00:01:08,049
Not a lot, that's how many.
19
00:01:08,051 --> 00:01:11,043
- I'm very excited, sir.
- Do you even tan?
20
00:01:11,045 --> 00:01:12,063
What happens to that skin?
21
00:01:12,065 --> 00:01:15,053
Does it just get blotchy or--
never mind.
22
00:01:15,055 --> 00:01:17,055
Why am I asking him questions?
23
00:01:17,057 --> 00:01:20,047
Hey, O, do I have the legs
for this swimsuit?
24
00:01:20,049 --> 00:01:21,058
And don't lie.
25
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:23,058
- There's nothing
you can't wear, sir.
26
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You have a body made
for clothes.
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00:01:25,061 --> 00:01:28,059
- Aw, thanks, O. This is
gonna be such a fun trip.
28
00:01:28,061 --> 00:01:30,050
Too bad your wife
couldn't make it,
29
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you know,
'cause she's dead and all.
30
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:35,054
You know what? No.
It's better just us anyway.
31
00:01:35,056 --> 00:01:37,065
- I can't believe we get to go
to the Caribbean.
32
00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:39,047
- It's a dream.
33
00:01:39,049 --> 00:01:41,055
It's all a wonderful dream,
Douglas.
34
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:44,049
- This is going to be the
honeymoon we never had, Greg.
35
00:01:44,051 --> 00:01:47,043
- I know! And I think
it's just what we need.
36
00:01:47,045 --> 00:01:50,045
- Oh, do we need something?
37
00:01:50,047 --> 00:01:52,051
I thought we were happy.
- We are!
38
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That's not at all what I
meant.
I'm just saying--
39
00:01:54,043 --> 00:01:56,047
- Do you still
find me attractive?
40
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,066
- Come here.
41
00:01:58,044 --> 00:02:01,051
- [sobbing]
42
00:02:01,053 --> 00:02:03,048
Shh.
43
00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:05,059
- I'm being so silly.
44
00:02:05,061 --> 00:02:07,066
♪ ♪
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- Excuse me.
Yeah, hey.
46
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:11,065
Are there any of the cashmere
Hermès blankets?
47
00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:15,048
This one is cotton,
and it's slicing my skin.
48
00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:17,056
- I believe those are
the only blankets on board,
49
00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:19,049
Your Royal Highness.
50
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,065
- This plane fucking sucks.
51
00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:23,051
Go.
Stop looking at me.
52
00:02:28,046 --> 00:02:29,052
- Sluts.
53
00:02:29,054 --> 00:02:31,055
- Wha--
- Sluts.
54
00:02:31,057 --> 00:02:32,064
- Oh.
55
00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:35,048
- Oi! Nuts!
56
00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:36,060
- Right away, sir.
57
00:02:36,062 --> 00:02:40,046
Can you get me some mixed nuts?
- I'm on break.
58
00:02:40,048 --> 00:02:45,056
- [slowly]
Mixed nuts.
59
00:02:45,058 --> 00:02:47,066
- Brilliant.
Thank you, Kevin.
60
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:51,065
Are they warm?
- Duh.
61
00:02:52,043 --> 00:02:55,049
- So where is it
you're from, again, mate?
62
00:02:55,051 --> 00:02:59,049
- Scotland.
63
00:02:59,051 --> 00:03:00,059
- Got it.
64
00:03:00,061 --> 00:03:03,061
- I can't wait to see you
in that bikini, darling.
65
00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:08,049
Yes, all anybody is going to be
talking about is your figure.
66
00:03:08,051 --> 00:03:10,049
- [coughs]
Blech.
67
00:03:10,051 --> 00:03:11,062
[retches]
68
00:03:11,064 --> 00:03:14,045
- Is there anything you need,
Your Royal Highness?
69
00:03:14,047 --> 00:03:16,049
- Yeah, an airsick bag.
70
00:03:16,051 --> 00:03:18,061
You having fun back there
with your little friends?
71
00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:21,045
I guess this is like
Spring Break for you people.
72
00:03:21,047 --> 00:03:23,063
- Just wanted to make sure you
have everything you need, sir.
73
00:03:23,065 --> 00:03:25,050
- Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.
74
00:03:25,052 --> 00:03:27,053
Remember, this is
your vacation, too, Owen,
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00:03:27,055 --> 00:03:29,043
so just have fun, okay?
76
00:03:29,045 --> 00:03:30,066
Really, don't worry about me.
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- That's very kind, sir.
78
00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:34,046
- Actually, O, before you go,
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00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,065
get a pic of me
in my seat here.
80
00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:38,045
I'll pretend I'm looking out
at the clouds.
81
00:03:38,047 --> 00:03:41,046
[camera shutter clicks]
Ugh.
82
00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:42,059
You didn't use portrait mode?
83
00:03:42,061 --> 00:03:43,063
Never mind.
84
00:03:43,065 --> 00:03:44,066
It's fine. It's fine.
85
00:03:45,044 --> 00:03:46,060
Plane photos are passé, anyway.
86
00:03:46,062 --> 00:03:48,049
All I need from you this trip
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is one perfect Instagram, O.
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Got it?
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Now get back in economy.
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00:03:54,044 --> 00:03:56,048
- So, after we arrive,
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00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:57,062
do you think
we could possibly--
92
00:03:57,064 --> 00:03:59,058
- No.
- Well, what about--
93
00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:01,054
- No.
- Or even--
94
00:04:01,056 --> 00:04:03,044
- No.
- Right.
95
00:04:03,046 --> 00:04:05,064
Well, lovely chatting.
96
00:04:05,066 --> 00:04:08,055
- He's not giving
that one a rose?
97
00:04:08,057 --> 00:04:09,058
- Nope.
98
00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:12,051
- But he just fucked her.
99
00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:18,061
♪ ♪
100
00:04:18,063 --> 00:04:20,056
- Welcome, Your Majesty.
101
00:04:20,058 --> 00:04:22,046
- [belches loudly]
102
00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:24,053
Excuse me. Thanks.
103
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,043
[waves crashing]
104
00:04:28,065 --> 00:04:31,051
- Your Majesty.
- Yum.
105
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:36,048
Is there anything more beachy
than thick, rare roast beef?
106
00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:38,066
- Camilla in a bikini
comes to mind.
107
00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:40,055
- We're eating!
108
00:04:40,057 --> 00:04:42,047
- Has anybody seen Owen?
109
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,059
"Owen, comma, where the fuck
are you, question mark,
110
00:04:44,061 --> 00:04:46,060
question mark, question mark."
111
00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:49,066
- [grunting]
112
00:04:50,044 --> 00:04:51,057
- Hello, all. Sorry we're late.
113
00:04:51,059 --> 00:04:54,043
Our flight was delayed--
you know, JetBlue.
114
00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,044
- We don't know.
Gross.
115
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,062
- It was Mint, though.
Tell them, we were in Mint.
116
00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:03,058
- Oh, they gave you a mint.
How lovely for you.
117
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,048
I have some gum in my purse
if you'd like.
118
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,058
- No, we were in Mint.
119
00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:09,048
It's like their business
class.
It's really nice.
120
00:05:09,050 --> 00:05:10,058
They give you
these cookies and--
121
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:14,048
- Meghan, I'm begging you
to stop now.
122
00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:16,058
- And then people kept wanting
to get a picture.
123
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:19,052
You know, because I'm on "Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
124
00:05:19,054 --> 00:05:21,050
So a lot of people
coming up to us.
125
00:05:21,052 --> 00:05:22,063
- Uh-huh.
126
00:05:22,065 --> 00:05:24,061
- There was something you
needed, Your Royal Highness?
127
00:05:24,063 --> 00:05:26,048
- Yeah, my fucking butler.
128
00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:29,057
I'm sitting here cutting
my own meat like an animal.
129
00:05:29,059 --> 00:05:30,065
Ugh, not now, not now.
130
00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:32,058
- Do you want
a picture here, sir?
131
00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:34,061
I'll do it
in portrait mode this time.
132
00:05:34,063 --> 00:05:37,053
- Do I want a picture of me
eating roast beef?
133
00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:39,043
No, you idiot.
Later.
134
00:05:39,045 --> 00:05:42,058
- Children, would you like
to go play in the sand?
135
00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:44,059
- Wait, are you-
are you talking to me?
136
00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:46,051
Is she talking to me?
137
00:05:46,053 --> 00:05:48,061
- Go play with them, William.
- You play with them.
138
00:05:48,063 --> 00:05:51,056
- Oh, and I brought some
of my homemade ketchup.
139
00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:53,050
I'm coming out
with a line of condiments--
140
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,045
ketchups, mustards,
that sort of thing.
141
00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:57,053
- We're really taking LA
by storm.
142
00:05:57,055 --> 00:05:59,058
- Yeah, and the show has been
a great platform
143
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:01,045
to help me promote my brand.
144
00:06:01,047 --> 00:06:04,049
- It's already a brand.
It's called Heinz.
145
00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:09,047
- Oh, fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
146
00:06:15,055 --> 00:06:17,063
There, good as new.
147
00:06:24,044 --> 00:06:27,065
- All it would take
is one giant wave.
148
00:06:28,043 --> 00:06:30,050
- I was thinking
the same thing.
149
00:06:30,052 --> 00:06:31,062
You okay, Kevin?
150
00:06:31,064 --> 00:06:35,051
- Water.
151
00:06:35,053 --> 00:06:39,066
Beautiful.
152
00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:42,050
- Careful, you're
starting to burn.
153
00:06:42,052 --> 00:06:44,062
- Isn't he always that color?
154
00:06:44,064 --> 00:06:47,059
- Watch and learn here.
[grunting]
155
00:06:47,061 --> 00:06:51,061
On the head. Off the--
On the--bing, bang!
156
00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:54,054
Oi, Georgie!
Football!
157
00:06:54,056 --> 00:06:57,050
- No, I don't want to.
Get away from me with that.
158
00:06:57,052 --> 00:07:00,051
- Ready? Ready? Ready? Go on.
To me!
159
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,053
- I said knock it off
with that.
160
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,065
- Yes, I told you.
I'm working on it.
161
00:07:05,043 --> 00:07:06,046
Hi, George.
162
00:07:06,048 --> 00:07:08,066
- Hey. Why do you have
two cell phones?
163
00:07:09,044 --> 00:07:11,044
- It's a toy
for little girls. See?
164
00:07:11,046 --> 00:07:14,055
- Okay, whatever.
[camera shutter clicks]
165
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:16,049
Great.
You ruined it.
166
00:07:16,051 --> 00:07:18,061
Oof!
I said knock it off!
167
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,047
- Look, we have to be careful.
168
00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:22,054
George is starting
to get suspicious.
169
00:07:22,056 --> 00:07:25,064
I don't know! I guess he's not
as fucking dumb as he looks.
170
00:07:25,066 --> 00:07:29,051
Oh, the weather has been great.
Thanks, yeah.
171
00:07:29,053 --> 00:07:32,051
- So all you'd have to do
is Instagram yourselves
172
00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:34,055
using my ketchup--
it'd be a huge help.
173
00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:36,043
- I see.
174
00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:38,065
Well, that's something
we'll definitely think about.
175
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:41,066
- Who's that?
- That's your nephew, Archie.
176
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,066
- You're pulling my leg.
Why have we not met before?
177
00:07:46,044 --> 00:07:48,061
- You've met him, like,
a thousand times.
178
00:07:48,063 --> 00:07:51,065
So are you gonna do
the fucking Instagram or not?
179
00:07:53,062 --> 00:07:56,048
- Is the pressure okay?
- It's great.
180
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,055
- Great.
181
00:07:58,057 --> 00:08:00,049
So what do you do for work?
182
00:08:00,051 --> 00:08:02,065
- I really don't want to talk,
if that's okay.
183
00:08:03,043 --> 00:08:05,052
- Right.
184
00:08:05,054 --> 00:08:08,056
I just figured
since it's a beach massage.
185
00:08:08,058 --> 00:08:11,045
- Camilla, are you going
to take that robe off
186
00:08:11,047 --> 00:08:13,051
and show Mummy your figure?
187
00:08:13,053 --> 00:08:15,044
Yes, darling.
188
00:08:15,046 --> 00:08:18,053
Mummy, doesn't Camilla look
like a Victoria's Secret model?
189
00:08:18,055 --> 00:08:22,057
- If Victoria's secret is that
she's an old cow, then, yes.
190
00:08:22,059 --> 00:08:24,047
- [laughs]
191
00:08:24,049 --> 00:08:27,050
- That's not--
That's not her secret.
192
00:08:40,049 --> 00:08:43,054
We might need to start feeding
these people more.
193
00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:47,061
- When did "Vanity Fair"
become such a piece of shit?
194
00:08:47,063 --> 00:08:49,057
You know, you don't have
to stand there
195
00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:50,065
with that umbrella, O.
196
00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:52,065
You can go for a swim
or something. I'm good.
197
00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:54,061
- But then you would get
sunburned, sir.
198
00:08:54,063 --> 00:08:57,050
- Oh, no, it's fine.
I only get golden brown.
199
00:08:57,052 --> 00:09:00,047
I don't have the complexion
of a 65-year-old alcoholic
200
00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:01,054
who's been outside twice.
201
00:09:01,056 --> 00:09:05,045
- If you're
absolutely certain, sir.
202
00:09:05,047 --> 00:09:07,049
Water does look nice, sir.
203
00:09:07,051 --> 00:09:09,045
I've never been in the ocean.
204
00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,060
I'm not quite sure
I even know how to swim.
205
00:09:11,062 --> 00:09:13,061
- Really?
Aw, that stinks.
206
00:09:13,063 --> 00:09:15,066
In that case, you can take
more pictures of me.
207
00:09:16,044 --> 00:09:18,052
I really need a good one
for Instagram.
208
00:09:18,054 --> 00:09:20,061
If no one knows
I went to Mustique, it's like,
209
00:09:20,063 --> 00:09:22,054
why did I even go, you know?
210
00:09:22,056 --> 00:09:25,057
- Absolutely, sir.
- Oh, get a few of me here.
211
00:09:25,059 --> 00:09:28,049
[camera shutter clicking]
212
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,062
Ugh.
None of these are usable.
213
00:09:31,064 --> 00:09:34,043
Do it again.
214
00:09:34,045 --> 00:09:36,057
Well, it would be nice if you
gave me a little direction.
215
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:38,058
What do I do?
Where do I move? Hello!
216
00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:40,062
- Of course, sir.
Uh, turn this way.
217
00:09:40,064 --> 00:09:42,046
- Sunglasses on or off?
218
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,047
- Let's try it
with them on, sir.
219
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:49,048
- Mom, tell Louis stop.
220
00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:52,052
- [crunching]
221
00:09:55,054 --> 00:09:57,059
- Pringle?
- No.
222
00:09:57,061 --> 00:09:59,066
- [crunching]
223
00:10:00,044 --> 00:10:03,044
- I'm making it official.
I hate him.
224
00:10:03,046 --> 00:10:06,047
- So are we still considering
this our honeymoon?
225
00:10:06,049 --> 00:10:07,056
- Once of Prince Philip's balls
226
00:10:07,058 --> 00:10:09,053
got caught
in the bathtub drain!
227
00:10:09,055 --> 00:10:12,063
I need someone right now!
228
00:10:12,065 --> 00:10:14,046
- No.
229
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,049
[sighs]
230
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:19,052
♪ ♪
231
00:10:19,054 --> 00:10:20,061
- So, yeah, we're hoping
232
00:10:20,063 --> 00:10:22,055
the ketchups and mustards
are gonna be sold
233
00:10:22,057 --> 00:10:24,047
at Whole Foods,
which, you know, would be huge.
234
00:10:24,049 --> 00:10:26,061
Oh, and they're all organic,
in case anyone was wondering.
235
00:10:26,063 --> 00:10:29,046
- We weren't.
- [laughs]
236
00:10:29,048 --> 00:10:30,059
- That's two today.
237
00:10:30,061 --> 00:10:33,058
How are your balls?
Good.
238
00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:35,047
- Ow.
239
00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:36,064
Sorry.
240
00:10:36,066 --> 00:10:39,053
Ow. Ow.
241
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:42,065
- Oh, Harry, I just found out
you had a son.
242
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,060
Congratulations, old man.
243
00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:46,048
- Daughter, but thank you.
244
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:49,052
- Son,
and you didn't just find out.
245
00:10:49,054 --> 00:10:51,063
[sighs] Is it me?
- No.
246
00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:54,053
- Anyway,
I was saying I had a sunburn.
247
00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:57,055
Ow. That's why I look
like a monster.
248
00:10:57,057 --> 00:11:01,064
Oh, sorry. Not that you look
like a monster.
249
00:11:01,066 --> 00:11:04,065
Oh, God, I never know
what to say to him.
250
00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:06,052
- Just a heads-up--
251
00:11:06,054 --> 00:11:08,057
Camilla had a bit
of a mishap earlier today.
252
00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,050
They all understand, darling.
253
00:11:10,052 --> 00:11:12,057
There might be
some unfortunately,
254
00:11:12,059 --> 00:11:15,064
well, racy photos
appearing online later.
255
00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:18,061
Oh, and if anyone found
a bikini top in the water,
256
00:11:18,063 --> 00:11:20,045
it belongs to Camilla.
257
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:24,062
- I thought that was two
fishing nets.
258
00:11:24,064 --> 00:11:26,049
Sorry.
259
00:11:27,056 --> 00:11:30,043
- I knew it was a boy.
I just forgot.
260
00:11:30,045 --> 00:11:32,062
- Please just let me be
annoyed.
261
00:11:32,064 --> 00:11:34,054
♪ ♪
262
00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:39,043
- There's barely anything
to work with here.
263
00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:41,053
They're all fucking blurry.
Do you have tremors?
264
00:11:41,055 --> 00:11:43,052
- I apologize,
Your Royal Highness.
265
00:11:43,054 --> 00:11:45,057
I am a very poor photographer.
266
00:11:45,059 --> 00:11:47,043
- Yeah, you are.
267
00:11:47,045 --> 00:11:50,046
Does my face
look as bad as I think, O?
268
00:11:50,048 --> 00:11:51,053
- Not at all.
269
00:11:51,055 --> 00:11:53,054
Why, I think it makes
you look rugged, sir.
270
00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:56,050
- Like Chris Hemsworth?
- Sure.
271
00:11:56,052 --> 00:11:57,062
- Thanks, O.
272
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:59,066
I know you wouldn't say it
if you didn't mean it.
273
00:12:00,044 --> 00:12:02,058
Help me get ready for bed.
274
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,064
Ow.
275
00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:06,046
- I'm sorry you didn't get
276
00:12:06,048 --> 00:12:08,056
your perfect
vacation Instagram, sir.
277
00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:10,065
- Oh, I just posted something.
278
00:12:12,053 --> 00:12:13,063
- Oh, I'm in that.
279
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:16,048
- Yeah, it's cute.
It's very us.
280
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,054
- Very us, sir.
281
00:12:17,056 --> 00:12:18,059
- Ooh, it's doing well.
282
00:12:18,061 --> 00:12:20,063
Dame Kelly Ripa
already liked it.
283
00:12:20,065 --> 00:12:24,044
- Well, good night, sir.
284
00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:26,050
- Would you stay
until I fall asleep?
285
00:12:26,052 --> 00:12:28,045
- Of course.
286
00:12:31,064 --> 00:12:35,051
Sir, I think you
forgot to tag me?
287
00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,056
- I didn't.