1
00:00:33,477 --> 00:00:35,345
Shoppers already?
2
00:00:35,412 --> 00:00:36,881
Hey, Monty,
I'm getting outta here, man.
3
00:00:36,948 --> 00:00:38,248
It's Thanksgiving.
4
00:00:40,151 --> 00:00:42,486
What time did they start
showing up last year?
5
00:00:43,688 --> 00:00:45,890
- About noon.
- Noon?
6
00:00:49,127 --> 00:00:50,661
Freaking vultures!
7
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:13,484
Oh, shit.
8
00:01:46,283 --> 00:01:47,819
What the fuck is that?
9
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:20,417
Monty.
10
00:02:20,484 --> 00:02:23,520
Yo, Monty!
11
00:02:30,695 --> 00:02:33,064
Oh, what the fuck, Monty?
12
00:02:33,131 --> 00:02:35,365
You had one job.
13
00:02:35,432 --> 00:02:36,935
Jesus Christ.
14
00:02:39,771 --> 00:02:42,874
Monty?
15
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:46,563
All right, influencers,
time to go.
16
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:49,300
Come on. Mom's is boring.
17
00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:51,703
Mom's house isn't boring.
18
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,604
Her and Grant are...
19
00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,307
well, they're kinda lame.
20
00:04:56,374 --> 00:04:58,876
- He uses Axe body spray.
- I know.
21
00:04:58,943 --> 00:05:01,312
And he farts,
like, all the time.
22
00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:03,681
Come on, Dad.
We had Thanksgiving breakfast.
23
00:05:03,748 --> 00:05:05,850
Talk about sad.
24
00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,018
Mom's waiting. Let's go.
25
00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:09,253
Come on, let's go.
Come on, kiddo.
26
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:13,257
Why do you have to work
on Thanksgiving, Dad?
27
00:05:13,324 --> 00:05:14,959
It's not fair.
28
00:05:17,362 --> 00:05:19,663
Listen, kiddo.
29
00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:22,467
Heroes work on the holidays,
okay?
30
00:05:22,532 --> 00:05:25,703
Cops, firefighters, your dad.
31
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,639
Come on. Come on, let's go.
32
00:05:29,707 --> 00:05:31,075
- Come on.
- I love you, Daddy.
33
00:05:31,142 --> 00:05:33,144
I love you too, baby.
Give me a big hug.
34
00:05:33,211 --> 00:05:34,979
Oh, big squishes.
35
00:05:36,114 --> 00:05:37,749
Hey, hey.
36
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:41,419
Grant does not work today.
37
00:05:41,486 --> 00:05:43,921
Take that for what you will,
okay?
38
00:05:43,988 --> 00:05:46,290
Okay, get out here.
Love you. I love you.
39
00:05:50,161 --> 00:05:52,196
That's a sweater, huh?
40
00:06:13,484 --> 00:06:15,953
Has anyone seen
my hand sanitizer?
41
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,056
Uh, check the drawer
in the foyer.
42
00:06:18,122 --> 00:06:20,024
Yeah, maybe check
that shithole you call a room.
43
00:06:21,159 --> 00:06:22,592
- Hey, pass the pie, will ya?
- Yeah.
44
00:06:22,659 --> 00:06:24,062
Hey, has anyone
seen a new one?
45
00:06:24,128 --> 00:06:25,096
Uh, check the...
46
00:06:25,163 --> 00:06:26,531
Oh! My pocket's got it.
47
00:06:26,596 --> 00:06:27,698
Honey,
I think your ride's here.
48
00:06:27,765 --> 00:06:28,699
Christopher,
we're trying to enjoy
49
00:06:28,766 --> 00:06:30,368
Thanksgiving dinner, okay?
50
00:06:31,235 --> 00:06:33,438
- You have to work all weekend?
- I don't know.
51
00:06:33,504 --> 00:06:35,206
Is Dad still charging me rent?
52
00:06:36,741 --> 00:06:38,443
All weekend. I love you guys.
53
00:06:38,509 --> 00:06:40,044
Happy Thanksgiving, honey.
54
00:06:41,779 --> 00:06:43,081
Happy Black Friday.
55
00:06:55,293 --> 00:06:58,662
Coming to the ring,
weighing 35 pounds,
56
00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:00,765
looking like
an absolute vegetarian...
57
00:07:00,832 --> 00:07:02,033
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
58
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,068
Chris Godecki!
59
00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,638
What's up, buddy?
60
00:07:08,706 --> 00:07:10,408
Come on.
Turn that frown upside down.
61
00:07:10,475 --> 00:07:13,244
You look like you don't want
to be working on Thanksgiving.
62
00:07:13,311 --> 00:07:14,946
Oh, nice booster seat.
63
00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:16,881
Got any juice boxes
for after the game?
64
00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:20,518
The booster seat's for you,
little man.
65
00:07:28,059 --> 00:07:29,393
I hate that this shift
is something
66
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,828
I've done more than once.
67
00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:34,065
So you're feeling good, then?
68
00:07:34,132 --> 00:07:35,766
It's like, everyone's at home
watching football,
69
00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:37,468
eating pumpkin pie.
70
00:07:37,535 --> 00:07:38,736
This is so depressing.
71
00:07:38,803 --> 00:07:41,005
Buddy,
I had to hand my kids off
72
00:07:41,072 --> 00:07:43,508
to their mother at sundown.
73
00:07:43,574 --> 00:07:47,111
Gracie remarked how sad it was
we had Thanksgiving breakfast.
74
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,883
That almost makes me
feel better.
75
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:54,452
We Luv Toys
loves Black Friday deals,
76
00:07:54,519 --> 00:07:56,387
so come on down!
77
00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,261
That's weird.
78
00:08:03,327 --> 00:08:04,695
Why would they
be closed tonight?
79
00:08:04,762 --> 00:08:07,598
Whoa! Whoa!
80
00:08:07,664 --> 00:08:09,267
I guarantee that was
some soccer mom
81
00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:11,636
high on the thrill
of being a douche.
82
00:08:11,702 --> 00:08:14,405
- Black Friday massacre.
- Yeah.
83
00:08:21,345 --> 00:08:23,514
Oh, I don't...
I don't feel good.
84
00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:25,449
You're fine.
85
00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:41,065
Go clock in. You don't want
to talk to me for free.
86
00:08:41,132 --> 00:08:42,767
Ready for the shit show?
87
00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,635
What's up, man?
88
00:08:54,779 --> 00:08:56,147
I'd say be careful,
89
00:08:56,214 --> 00:08:58,416
but I bet you're tougher
than any guy here.
90
00:08:58,482 --> 00:09:00,451
You're too sweet.
91
00:09:00,518 --> 00:09:01,687
All set in the back?
92
00:09:01,752 --> 00:09:03,187
Should be.
Keys are in the truck
93
00:09:03,254 --> 00:09:05,356
and I've got
a shit ton of toys to unload.
94
00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:07,358
Thanks, Lou.
Your work's appreciated.
95
00:09:11,229 --> 00:09:12,563
Thought we said
we weren't gonna wear
96
00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:14,131
the same outfits tonight.
97
00:09:14,198 --> 00:09:16,702
Man, I guess
you should just go home, then.
98
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,203
Huh. Don't tempt me.
99
00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:20,838
You brought the shopping
carts back in, right?
100
00:09:20,905 --> 00:09:22,773
Yeah, you bet.
101
00:09:25,309 --> 00:09:26,377
Knock, knock.
102
00:09:27,845 --> 00:09:29,447
Who's there?
103
00:09:29,513 --> 00:09:30,581
A doughnut.
104
00:09:30,648 --> 00:09:32,316
A doughnut who?
105
00:09:34,151 --> 00:09:36,220
I doughnut
fucking believe you.
106
00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:40,258
We still on
for pancakes tonight?
107
00:09:40,324 --> 00:09:41,892
Are you buying?
108
00:09:41,959 --> 00:09:43,361
I don't think
we've ever been introduced.
109
00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:45,763
I'm the artist formerly known
as half to my ex.
110
00:09:49,735 --> 00:09:51,535
Hey,
let me get my holiday bonus.
111
00:09:51,602 --> 00:09:52,837
Nice try, Bates,
112
00:09:52,903 --> 00:09:54,905
but you get it
when you clock out at 6:00.
113
00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:57,875
6:00?
114
00:09:57,942 --> 00:10:01,912
That's a ten-hour descent
into hell!
115
00:10:01,979 --> 00:10:03,314
Oh, my back.
116
00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:05,516
We've got "I-View Sky"
117
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,351
reporting
on tonight's meteor showers.
118
00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:09,453
We've got tips
on how to snap
119
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,322
the perfect meteor...
120
00:10:11,389 --> 00:10:13,124
It's okay to be sad,
depressed, and even suicidal.
121
00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:14,458
Toy does not come
with any chokeable parts
122
00:10:14,525 --> 00:10:16,060
- or pieces that can be...
- Thanks, Sandy.
123
00:10:16,127 --> 00:10:17,528
And reports are telling us now
124
00:10:17,595 --> 00:10:19,630
people should go nowhere
near these things.
125
00:10:19,698 --> 00:10:22,233
And Chucky says
we're all going to die.
126
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,468
Alice, who really
told you that?
127
00:10:26,003 --> 00:10:27,471
Corporate sent cake?
128
00:10:27,538 --> 00:10:28,839
You don't have to eat it.
129
00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,641
It's just nice
to know they... care.
130
00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,744
They don't care about shit.
131
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:33,944
I'll take it
to the storage area.
132
00:10:34,011 --> 00:10:35,846
Archie's guys will eat it.
133
00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:45,856
Yo, Godecki,
you see the line out there?
134
00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:50,061
Yeah, it's like something
out of my nightmares.
135
00:10:50,828 --> 00:10:52,229
Are you kidding me?
Old man Peruso
136
00:10:52,296 --> 00:10:54,165
offered to give me
a handy in the back alley
137
00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:56,267
if I promised
to save him a Dour Dennis.
138
00:10:57,902 --> 00:10:59,203
Congrats.
139
00:11:00,604 --> 00:11:02,106
Christopher.
140
00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:03,641
Happy Black Friday, Anita.
141
00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:06,243
Green Friday.
142
00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:07,244
What?
143
00:11:07,311 --> 00:11:09,213
Corporate said
Black Friday was racist,
144
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,750
so they changed it
to Green Friday.
145
00:11:11,817 --> 00:11:14,686
Green like Christmas
and money.
146
00:11:14,753 --> 00:11:16,253
Good to know.
147
00:11:17,789 --> 00:11:20,124
Your undershirt is untucked.
148
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,094
That's grounds for a write-up.
149
00:11:29,835 --> 00:11:31,268
Hey, guys.
150
00:11:31,335 --> 00:11:33,637
Hey, Daddy's at work. Look.
151
00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:36,073
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
152
00:11:42,613 --> 00:11:45,216
- Jesus fucking Christ, man.
- Come on, please.
153
00:11:45,282 --> 00:11:47,051
- Fuck.
- Bathroom.
154
00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:49,520
- Okay, okay.
- I'm parking a Buick, man.
155
00:11:49,587 --> 00:11:51,322
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
156
00:11:51,389 --> 00:11:53,692
It's in the back room, okay?
157
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:09,708
Black Friday.
158
00:12:09,775 --> 00:12:11,642
What a bunch of suckers.
159
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,823
Shit!
160
00:12:27,859 --> 00:12:29,427
Yo, Chris!
161
00:12:31,362 --> 00:12:34,298
Yo, Chris, open up!
I'm locked out here again, bro.
162
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,436
Chris, come on!
163
00:12:38,502 --> 00:12:40,237
Don't make me take the main
entrance with those...
164
00:12:40,304 --> 00:12:42,440
Shoppers.
165
00:12:48,345 --> 00:12:49,313
My man.
166
00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:51,115
You know I hold things down.
167
00:12:51,182 --> 00:12:54,218
That's "hold you down."
168
00:12:54,285 --> 00:12:56,454
I'll... I'll get it, I swear.
169
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,122
Thank you.
170
00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:00,291
How about a nonsexual back rub?
171
00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:02,026
Please don't.
172
00:13:02,092 --> 00:13:03,795
All right.
173
00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:06,197
More for me then, right?
174
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,399
You see they gave Anita
employee of the month again?
175
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,202
Yeah, I saw that.
176
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,237
Fucking Jonathan, right?
177
00:13:13,304 --> 00:13:15,539
I came in early five times
this pay period.
178
00:13:15,606 --> 00:13:17,742
He made me learn how to work
a fucking forklift
179
00:13:17,809 --> 00:13:19,243
all for nothing.
180
00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,411
It might come in handy
181
00:13:20,478 --> 00:13:23,314
if you ever need
to do some forklifting.
182
00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:25,817
Everybody listen up.
183
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:41,232
Happy Black Friday,
We Luv Toys.
184
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,534
Some quick notes
before we open our doors.
185
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:46,570
First off...
186
00:13:46,637 --> 00:13:48,439
From OSHA.
187
00:13:48,506 --> 00:13:50,809
Uh, statistically
when it comes to retail,
188
00:13:50,876 --> 00:13:54,545
there's no day more harmful to
retail workers than this day.
189
00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:56,948
Remember, OSHA
changed their rules
190
00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:59,550
after somebody
was trampled to death.
191
00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:03,454
So look out for each other,
okay?
192
00:14:03,521 --> 00:14:06,223
Also, Dour Dennis
has been recalled,
193
00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,559
so if anybody asks for it,
we don't have it.
194
00:14:08,626 --> 00:14:09,694
We never had it.
195
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,662
Some safety issue
with the battery.
196
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,564
I'm not...
I'm not... I'm not doing well.
197
00:14:13,631 --> 00:14:15,332
Doing well... doing... doing...
doing well... doing well.
198
00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:18,970
I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm...
I'm exhausted, exhausted.
199
00:14:19,036 --> 00:14:20,739
Uh, finally,
200
00:14:20,805 --> 00:14:24,943
um, corporate
has contacted me to inform you
201
00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:28,445
that they will not be able
to offer paid breaks tonight.
202
00:14:28,512 --> 00:14:30,414
Thank you
for your understanding.
203
00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:32,650
Fuck this.
204
00:14:34,118 --> 00:14:36,453
Let's quell this sitch,
please.
205
00:14:41,392 --> 00:14:44,194
I know that this
is not ideal,
206
00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:47,364
but this is a really big night.
207
00:14:47,431 --> 00:14:50,568
I would hate for a sour mood
to ruin our sales.
208
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:52,469
What about our holiday bonus?
209
00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:54,305
Corporate promised us
time and a half
210
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,740
for the holiday weekend.
211
00:14:56,908 --> 00:14:58,542
Yes.
212
00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:01,412
That is still...
213
00:15:01,478 --> 00:15:02,681
yes.
214
00:15:03,581 --> 00:15:05,115
All right, game faces, team.
215
00:15:05,182 --> 00:15:07,217
I want smiles.
216
00:15:07,284 --> 00:15:09,587
What do we love?
217
00:15:09,653 --> 00:15:11,088
Toys!
218
00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:17,494
Ugh.
219
00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:21,465
I got a migra... migraine.
220
00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:23,400
My back hurts, hurts, hurts.
221
00:15:25,102 --> 00:15:27,338
Chris, back here.
222
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,473
I'm not myself.
223
00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:31,843
You're on reg for the night.
224
00:15:31,910 --> 00:15:33,344
All night?
225
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:36,480
We're short-staffed.
We need the coverage up front.
226
00:15:36,547 --> 00:15:39,249
I'm not doing
well, well, well.
227
00:15:39,316 --> 00:15:41,753
Looks like your massage
will have to wait.
228
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,120
Bye, Chris.
229
00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:44,388
Yet others
are going through much worse,
230
00:15:44,455 --> 00:15:46,223
through much worse.
231
00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,793
Wait, Mister? Wait up.
232
00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:53,397
Marnie said
I should shadow you.
233
00:15:53,464 --> 00:15:55,633
I'm Emmett,
but you can call me Em.
234
00:15:57,736 --> 00:15:58,937
No, I can't.
235
00:16:00,739 --> 00:16:02,807
You, uh...
236
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,809
you ever work retail before?
237
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,343
- Never.
- No?
238
00:16:07,277 --> 00:16:10,547
Well, uh...
239
00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:12,483
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret
240
00:16:12,549 --> 00:16:14,953
only a pro like me knows.
241
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:17,221
Yeah.
242
00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:20,491
When I find myself
in a pickle...
243
00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:25,864
I take a deep breath
and I think to myself...
244
00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,699
"What would an idiot do?"
245
00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:30,334
For example, okay?
246
00:16:30,401 --> 00:16:32,169
If some crazy lady
comes up to me and asks me,
247
00:16:32,236 --> 00:16:33,705
"Where's the Duncan yo-yos?"
248
00:16:33,772 --> 00:16:35,272
I'd...
249
00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:37,207
Escort them
to the yo-yo section and then...
250
00:16:37,274 --> 00:16:38,777
No.
251
00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:41,112
No. No.
You're already trying too hard.
252
00:16:41,178 --> 00:16:42,814
You point them in the direction
of fucking wherever
253
00:16:42,881 --> 00:16:45,382
- and they'll find it, yeah?
- Yeah.
254
00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:46,450
- Okay?
- Yeah.
255
00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:47,752
- All right?
- Okay.
256
00:16:47,819 --> 00:16:49,087
All right, get on
out of here, youngster.
257
00:16:49,154 --> 00:16:51,188
Hey, team, remember:
258
00:16:51,255 --> 00:16:53,091
no matter how bad
these suburban savages
259
00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,559
get under your skin,
the customer is always right.
260
00:16:55,626 --> 00:16:57,962
Whoo! Yes! It's go time.
261
00:16:58,029 --> 00:16:59,329
Places, everyone.
262
00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:01,933
Smiles, please. Holiday cheer.
263
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,106
I want faces that love toys.
264
00:17:08,173 --> 00:17:11,710
Brian, unleash the beast
in...
265
00:17:11,776 --> 00:17:12,777
five...
266
00:17:14,179 --> 00:17:16,014
Four,
267
00:17:16,081 --> 00:17:18,615
three,
268
00:17:18,683 --> 00:17:20,284
two.
269
00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:21,786
Go, baby!
270
00:17:21,853 --> 00:17:24,321
Go, Black Friday!
271
00:17:45,777 --> 00:17:47,011
Stop it!
272
00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:03,895
Aw, man!
273
00:18:24,916 --> 00:18:26,650
Good job.
274
00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:31,790
Thank you very much.
Happy holidays.
275
00:18:34,491 --> 00:18:35,592
Will you hurry up?
276
00:18:35,659 --> 00:18:36,861
Ma'am, I'm trying.
277
00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:39,296
Oh, get it together,
dickless!
278
00:18:47,138 --> 00:18:48,305
Ugh.
279
00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:54,344
Hey, my turn.
280
00:19:00,852 --> 00:19:02,653
Oh, oh!
281
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,257
Oh, I must have
been good this year!
282
00:19:06,323 --> 00:19:07,959
Oh, Santa!
283
00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,063
What's the sitch here?
284
00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:15,266
Oh, pussy boy here
is taking forever.
285
00:19:15,332 --> 00:19:16,968
There's, like, jam
in the keyboard.
286
00:19:17,035 --> 00:19:18,435
Ah.
287
00:19:20,738 --> 00:19:21,739
Sorry, folks,
looks like I'm gonna
288
00:19:21,806 --> 00:19:23,241
have to shut this lane down.
289
00:19:26,311 --> 00:19:28,880
Ma'am, if you would head back
to the Santa's rear village,
290
00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:31,115
- someone will meet you there.
- Ugh!
291
00:19:31,182 --> 00:19:32,884
Dude, what the hell?
292
00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:35,186
Full discloszh,
293
00:19:35,253 --> 00:19:38,522
some guy just blew chunks
all over the ride-ons.
294
00:19:38,589 --> 00:19:40,024
You're cleaning it up.
295
00:19:43,194 --> 00:19:45,096
Th-throw up? Um...
296
00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:47,131
it's... it's a little germy, no?
297
00:19:47,198 --> 00:19:49,499
What about the floor workers?
298
00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:52,469
But I thought
you preferred the floor.
299
00:19:53,738 --> 00:19:55,707
Sawdust's
in the maint's closet.
300
00:20:00,044 --> 00:20:02,446
Ah, these fucking
idiot customers.
301
00:20:04,716 --> 00:20:06,217
Idiots!
302
00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,019
Is that what you think we are?
303
00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:09,386
Jesus Christ, lady.
304
00:20:09,453 --> 00:20:10,688
You watch your mouth,
asshole,
305
00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:13,423
or I'll rip this place apart,
including you!
306
00:20:15,559 --> 00:20:17,494
I believe you.
307
00:20:31,242 --> 00:20:33,745
Deep breaths. It's just barf.
308
00:20:33,811 --> 00:20:36,446
You don't have to touch it.
Don't breathe around it.
309
00:20:38,016 --> 00:20:39,416
Aah!
310
00:20:39,483 --> 00:20:41,485
That's way more
than I expected!
311
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:49,526
Okay, um, sir?
312
00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:51,195
Sir, let's get you some help.
313
00:20:55,967 --> 00:20:58,002
Oh! Holy shit!
314
00:21:09,981 --> 00:21:11,249
Oh, fuck!
315
00:21:20,425 --> 00:21:22,894
Chris, what the fuck?
316
00:21:22,961 --> 00:21:26,731
All customers must vacate
the premises of We Luv Toys.
317
00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:29,000
We apologize
for the inconvenience.
318
00:21:29,901 --> 00:21:32,170
All customers must vacate
the premises...
319
00:21:32,236 --> 00:21:34,138
Yo, took me two years,
320
00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:35,639
but I finally got
the hang of this thing.
321
00:21:35,707 --> 00:21:36,874
Look at that.
322
00:21:36,941 --> 00:21:38,343
Whoa, whoa, watch this,
watch this.
323
00:21:38,409 --> 00:21:40,244
Oh!
324
00:21:40,311 --> 00:21:42,714
So what exactly happened
with that Chris guy?
325
00:21:44,481 --> 00:21:46,084
I don't know.
326
00:21:46,150 --> 00:21:48,853
I think he smashed some woman
with a mini pink SUV.
327
00:21:53,157 --> 00:21:54,993
Right.
328
00:21:58,763 --> 00:21:59,964
Um, ma'am, I'm sorry,
329
00:22:00,031 --> 00:22:01,933
but we're actually
closing early tonight.
330
00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:08,006
What happened?
331
00:22:08,072 --> 00:22:09,539
I don't know.
332
00:22:09,606 --> 00:22:11,976
Came out,
and it was a fucking disaster.
333
00:22:14,511 --> 00:22:16,881
Okay. Go check it out.
334
00:22:16,948 --> 00:22:18,316
I'll keep an eye on Chris.
335
00:22:19,784 --> 00:22:21,152
I'll be back.
336
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,596
I told you guys.
337
00:22:32,662 --> 00:22:35,466
I am sorry
that I crushed that woman.
338
00:22:35,532 --> 00:22:37,634
But...
339
00:22:37,702 --> 00:22:39,303
Check the security footage!
340
00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:41,272
We don't have to check shit.
341
00:22:41,339 --> 00:22:43,174
This is a citizen's arrest.
342
00:22:45,276 --> 00:22:48,545
There is something
really wrong out there.
343
00:22:48,612 --> 00:22:51,416
Yes, something
is really wrong.
344
00:22:51,482 --> 00:22:53,051
We're one hour
into Black Friday
345
00:22:53,117 --> 00:22:55,753
and we're escorting customers
away from the store?
346
00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,621
Yeah,
of course that's his concern.
347
00:22:57,688 --> 00:23:01,225
No, no, no, Marnie, wait.
Please, you have to believe me.
348
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:03,227
She attacked me.
349
00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:04,661
Ask Archie.
350
00:23:04,729 --> 00:23:06,563
Archie went to go check
on that nasty puke bitch
351
00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:09,300
you attempted to murder.
352
00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:12,203
You're going to jail, Chris.
353
00:23:14,172 --> 00:23:16,107
Uh, miss?
354
00:23:17,574 --> 00:23:19,343
Oh, oh, my God.
355
00:23:21,179 --> 00:23:22,612
No, no, no!
356
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,248
Aah! No!
357
00:23:28,052 --> 00:23:29,619
Shit!
358
00:23:35,993 --> 00:23:37,661
Come on, kid. Let's go!
359
00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:47,038
What the hell
is going on out there?
360
00:23:47,105 --> 00:23:48,906
This is some
next-level bath salt shit.
361
00:23:48,973 --> 00:23:51,209
No, it's just Black Friday.
362
00:23:51,275 --> 00:23:52,810
Excitement is in the air.
363
00:23:52,877 --> 00:23:54,378
- Green Friday.
- That's right.
364
00:23:54,445 --> 00:23:56,747
Green Friday, baby.
It's all part of the fun.
365
00:23:56,814 --> 00:23:58,716
It's known
as competitive shopping.
366
00:23:58,783 --> 00:24:01,651
Anita got a black eye last year
and she took it like a champ.
367
00:24:01,719 --> 00:24:02,987
No, no. Fuck that.
368
00:24:03,054 --> 00:24:05,089
Some woman
just attacked Emmett.
369
00:24:05,156 --> 00:24:07,525
It's like she wasn't
a person anymore.
370
00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,494
I hit her
with a fucking skateboard.
371
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,862
She didn't even feel it.
372
00:24:12,029 --> 00:24:14,232
- Try calling the cops.
- Oh, no. No.
373
00:24:14,298 --> 00:24:16,467
Do not call the cops.
374
00:24:16,534 --> 00:24:17,802
Are you kidding?
375
00:24:17,869 --> 00:24:19,971
You call the cops,
and this place shuts down.
376
00:24:20,037 --> 00:24:21,239
Now, if we work efficiently,
377
00:24:21,305 --> 00:24:23,207
we can reopen
by maybe 2:00 a.m.
378
00:24:23,274 --> 00:24:25,810
Reopen? Are you insane?
379
00:24:25,877 --> 00:24:28,813
Line's busy.
I got their voice mail.
380
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,381
Did you know the police
had a voice mail?
381
00:24:30,448 --> 00:24:32,350
This is the biggest night
of the year, okay?
382
00:24:32,416 --> 00:24:35,920
Corporate expects us to do
six figures this weekend.
383
00:24:35,987 --> 00:24:37,822
I'm sure corporate
will understand.
384
00:24:37,889 --> 00:24:39,490
Relax. Okay?
385
00:24:39,557 --> 00:24:42,293
I know we all want to go home.
It's a holiday.
386
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,529
Blardy blardy blar.
Let me tell you something...
387
00:24:44,595 --> 00:24:46,330
What was wrong
with that lady?
388
00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:48,065
Am I gonna be okay?
389
00:24:53,704 --> 00:24:55,907
Hey, bud.
390
00:24:55,973 --> 00:24:57,475
Can I get you anything?
391
00:24:57,542 --> 00:24:58,843
Oh, man.
392
00:24:58,910 --> 00:25:01,345
There is something wrong
with the shoppers.
393
00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:02,480
Christopher,
394
00:25:02,547 --> 00:25:05,683
you are not supposed
to provoke the customers.
395
00:25:05,750 --> 00:25:07,785
The training video says...
396
00:25:07,852 --> 00:25:10,288
♪ Leave them be
and then you'll see ♪
397
00:25:10,354 --> 00:25:13,558
♪ The love of toys
is all we need ♪
398
00:25:13,624 --> 00:25:17,828
Anita,
please shut the fuck up!
399
00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:22,200
You wonder why you never
get Employee of the Month.
400
00:25:22,266 --> 00:25:24,068
You know what?
401
00:25:24,135 --> 00:25:25,603
No one gives a flying fuck
402
00:25:25,670 --> 00:25:28,206
about your training videos
or your plaques, Anita.
403
00:25:28,272 --> 00:25:32,076
Oh, I know you don't,
but there are those who do.
404
00:25:32,143 --> 00:25:35,413
The ones who don't care
are the ones like you two,
405
00:25:35,479 --> 00:25:39,450
'cause you have squandered
every single opportunity
406
00:25:39,517 --> 00:25:42,987
that life has handed to you
to do a subpar job
407
00:25:43,054 --> 00:25:45,691
ringing people up
at We Luv Toys
408
00:25:45,756 --> 00:25:47,858
for the rest of your life!
409
00:25:50,027 --> 00:25:51,062
Stand back. Stand back.
Stand back.
410
00:25:51,128 --> 00:25:52,698
I got this. I got this.
411
00:25:52,763 --> 00:25:54,732
Hey, buddy. You all right?
412
00:25:54,799 --> 00:25:55,967
Here, come here. Come here.
413
00:25:56,033 --> 00:25:57,768
Hey, buddy. Hey. Okay.
414
00:25:57,835 --> 00:25:59,503
Okay. Spit it out.
415
00:25:59,570 --> 00:26:01,272
Holy fuck!
416
00:26:01,339 --> 00:26:03,207
Uh, okay. All right.
417
00:26:03,274 --> 00:26:05,876
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay. Hey.
418
00:26:05,943 --> 00:26:08,045
Somebody get me
a fucking pillow!
419
00:26:10,248 --> 00:26:12,850
- Okay. Okay. Fuck!
- Move!
420
00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:15,319
Okay. Okay.
421
00:26:15,386 --> 00:26:17,622
The handbook says
we're not really supposed
422
00:26:17,689 --> 00:26:19,357
to make physical contact.
423
00:26:36,107 --> 00:26:38,309
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
424
00:26:38,376 --> 00:26:40,244
Okay, okay! Enough!
Enough! Enough!
425
00:26:40,311 --> 00:26:42,513
Protect me.
426
00:26:42,580 --> 00:26:44,750
Oh, God!
427
00:26:44,815 --> 00:26:47,618
Hey, corporate sent that!
428
00:26:47,686 --> 00:26:48,986
Back the fuck up, homey!
429
00:26:49,053 --> 00:26:50,588
Hey!
430
00:26:50,655 --> 00:26:52,423
You're fucked now, Junior!
431
00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:54,792
Sit your ass down.
432
00:27:00,732 --> 00:27:02,033
Was that the new guy?
433
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,608
Hello?
434
00:27:10,675 --> 00:27:12,877
Anyone?
435
00:27:12,943 --> 00:27:14,680
Bartlett won't pick up.
436
00:27:14,746 --> 00:27:15,813
We've got to separate
that kid
437
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,281
from the rest of the shoppers.
438
00:27:17,348 --> 00:27:19,083
You know, the first time
I worked Black Friday,
439
00:27:19,150 --> 00:27:21,886
they separated
shoppers by race.
440
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,490
Oh, great time
for that story, Ruth!
441
00:27:26,557 --> 00:27:28,259
Great time for that.
442
00:27:28,326 --> 00:27:30,594
That's it.
It's not safe in here.
443
00:27:30,661 --> 00:27:32,798
- Can someone please untie me?
- Schaumburg answered.
444
00:27:32,863 --> 00:27:34,298
I got Schaumburg.
445
00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:37,501
Hello, Schaumburg.
446
00:27:37,568 --> 00:27:39,403
This is Jonathan Wexler,
manager of store...
447
00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:41,038
Hello? Hello?
448
00:27:41,105 --> 00:27:43,574
Oh, thank God.
Our shoppers are going crazy.
449
00:27:43,641 --> 00:27:46,944
They're attacking us.
We can't get out!
450
00:27:47,011 --> 00:27:48,646
Wait. What?
451
00:27:48,714 --> 00:27:49,980
Listen to me.
452
00:27:50,047 --> 00:27:51,750
Whatever you do,
don't let them in.
453
00:27:51,817 --> 00:27:54,753
And for the love of God,
don't let them gather.
454
00:27:54,820 --> 00:27:56,220
They're building something.
455
00:27:56,287 --> 00:27:57,455
What?
456
00:27:57,521 --> 00:27:59,725
Get... I need...
just don't let them gather!
457
00:27:59,791 --> 00:28:01,092
- Don't let them...
- Hello?
458
00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:03,894
Hello!
459
00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:06,197
Okay, hang up.
460
00:28:07,198 --> 00:28:09,567
Oh, we gotta do something.
461
00:28:10,167 --> 00:28:12,970
I mean, dying in a toy store
isn't how it ends for me.
462
00:28:14,638 --> 00:28:16,640
Does anyone have a car
big enough to fit us all?
463
00:28:18,142 --> 00:28:19,778
Dad-mobile.
464
00:28:19,845 --> 00:28:22,246
Fits seven, but, you know,
we could all squeeze.
465
00:28:22,313 --> 00:28:24,148
- Ew.
- Brian, don't start.
466
00:28:24,215 --> 00:28:25,883
Ken's truck won't be enough.
467
00:28:25,950 --> 00:28:27,184
There's people
on the sales floor.
468
00:28:27,251 --> 00:28:28,652
So we gotta make
a run for it, right?
469
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,287
Do we?
470
00:28:30,354 --> 00:28:31,690
We don't even know what these
things are or what they want.
471
00:28:31,757 --> 00:28:33,090
They want to hurt us.
472
00:28:33,157 --> 00:28:36,227
Oh, yeah, speaking of,
can someone please untie me?
473
00:28:37,395 --> 00:28:39,230
Ruth can't run.
474
00:28:39,296 --> 00:28:43,367
Survival of the fittest...
and non-geriatric.
475
00:28:43,434 --> 00:28:45,603
Those things are the fittest.
476
00:28:45,669 --> 00:28:47,438
You saw Emmett.
477
00:28:47,505 --> 00:28:50,107
We have to stay here
and protect ourselves.
478
00:28:50,174 --> 00:28:52,376
Who knows where else
this is happening?
479
00:28:52,443 --> 00:28:55,546
I say we get everyone
together on the sales floor,
480
00:28:55,613 --> 00:28:58,482
lock the doors, hang tight
till this shit cools off.
481
00:29:00,451 --> 00:29:02,920
You guys are gonna feel dumb
when this all blows over.
482
00:29:07,558 --> 00:29:10,461
Jonathan,
this isn't blowing over.
483
00:29:12,596 --> 00:29:15,266
You know, the company
sends me this cheap champagne
484
00:29:15,332 --> 00:29:17,168
for making our sales goals.
485
00:29:17,234 --> 00:29:21,572
Now, they expect me
to generate revenue tonight.
486
00:29:21,639 --> 00:29:23,441
That's my job.
487
00:29:25,009 --> 00:29:27,545
Your job
is to be our manager.
488
00:29:27,611 --> 00:29:31,215
Protect us. Manage us.
489
00:29:32,650 --> 00:29:34,151
I can't.
490
00:29:41,192 --> 00:29:42,159
Let's move. Come on.
491
00:29:42,226 --> 00:29:43,994
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
492
00:29:47,398 --> 00:29:49,701
Find anyone you can and
reconvene at the service desk.
493
00:29:49,768 --> 00:29:50,836
Oh, and look out for Emmett.
494
00:29:50,902 --> 00:29:53,839
The less we have to interact
with the shoppers...
495
00:29:53,905 --> 00:29:55,072
the better.
496
00:29:55,139 --> 00:29:56,474
Where is everyb... oh.
497
00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:58,008
Shh.
498
00:30:10,654 --> 00:30:12,724
How did all these shoppers
get in here?
499
00:30:14,225 --> 00:30:15,259
The team must've tried
to leave
500
00:30:15,326 --> 00:30:17,394
through the employee exit.
501
00:30:17,461 --> 00:30:19,663
Who knows how many
of those things got in?
502
00:30:19,731 --> 00:30:21,365
I say we split up.
503
00:30:21,432 --> 00:30:23,768
Close that door.
Secure the store.
504
00:30:23,835 --> 00:30:26,570
Ken, you take Ruth and Marnie
through the back hall.
505
00:30:26,637 --> 00:30:28,672
Hole up in the office
until we get back.
506
00:30:28,740 --> 00:30:29,975
Yeah.
507
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,076
Chris, Brian, Jonathan,
508
00:30:32,142 --> 00:30:34,278
we're gonna run recon
to that exit.
509
00:30:34,345 --> 00:30:36,347
No, no, I should be
with the other group
510
00:30:36,413 --> 00:30:39,049
'cause Brian represents me
on the sales floor.
511
00:30:40,451 --> 00:30:43,955
I will carry your grace
to the sales floor as always.
512
00:30:44,021 --> 00:30:44,990
Let's just go.
513
00:30:55,099 --> 00:30:56,066
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
514
00:31:15,286 --> 00:31:16,721
Where you going?
515
00:31:17,956 --> 00:31:18,924
To the bathroom.
516
00:31:18,990 --> 00:31:20,090
Why?
517
00:31:20,157 --> 00:31:21,693
'Cause I have to go.
518
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,127
Ooh, I gotta go too.
519
00:31:23,193 --> 00:31:24,763
I've been holding it.
520
00:31:33,404 --> 00:31:36,507
Your man, so hunky.
521
00:31:36,574 --> 00:31:38,609
They don't make 'em
like that anymore.
522
00:31:38,676 --> 00:31:41,012
You know, fierce. Stern.
523
00:31:41,078 --> 00:31:43,180
A real smolder.
524
00:31:43,247 --> 00:31:45,449
Ruth, he's not my man.
We're not dating, okay?
525
00:31:45,516 --> 00:31:47,451
- Oh!
- Or... it doesn't matter.
526
00:31:47,518 --> 00:31:51,555
Oh, so... so more like
consensual fuck partners.
527
00:31:53,557 --> 00:31:54,926
Wow.
528
00:32:03,133 --> 00:32:05,269
Follow me. Stay low.
529
00:32:39,104 --> 00:32:40,705
Oh, no, no, no, no!
530
00:32:45,442 --> 00:32:48,612
What part of "follow me"
did you not understand?
531
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,214
Follow me.
532
00:32:54,052 --> 00:32:55,586
Hey, so let me know
if you leave the bathroom,
533
00:32:55,653 --> 00:32:57,889
'cause I can always pinch
and run, okay?
534
00:33:06,131 --> 00:33:07,966
- Gotcha!
- What are you doing?
535
00:33:08,033 --> 00:33:10,200
Getting my stash, man.
536
00:33:11,069 --> 00:33:12,704
You can't do that!
537
00:33:12,771 --> 00:33:14,271
Circumstances have changed,
Jonathan.
538
00:33:14,338 --> 00:33:15,807
That's against the code!
539
00:33:27,351 --> 00:33:29,453
- Oh, no.
- What? What's going on?
540
00:33:34,425 --> 00:33:36,094
We gotta get to that door.
541
00:33:36,161 --> 00:33:38,029
Let's go.
542
00:33:38,096 --> 00:33:39,396
Brian, step back.
543
00:33:57,581 --> 00:33:59,450
We're clear.
544
00:34:14,565 --> 00:34:16,735
All set. Come on.
545
00:34:19,070 --> 00:34:21,906
So what do we do now?
They... they got the door shut.
546
00:34:28,645 --> 00:34:30,314
What are the shoppers doing?
547
00:34:34,485 --> 00:34:37,188
Ruth, wait here.
548
00:34:37,254 --> 00:34:38,857
Okay.
549
00:35:54,598 --> 00:35:56,901
You park that Buick?
550
00:36:00,138 --> 00:36:01,172
- Johnathan!
- Shit!
551
00:36:14,919 --> 00:36:15,987
Jonathan!
552
00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,730
Oh!
553
00:36:53,390 --> 00:36:55,226
Are we safe up here?
554
00:36:55,293 --> 00:36:56,660
Define safe.
555
00:37:01,498 --> 00:37:03,667
Ken, come on.
556
00:37:03,735 --> 00:37:05,402
I think we were safer
in my office.
557
00:37:06,237 --> 00:37:08,206
The doors are closed.
Now we wait, yeah?
558
00:37:08,273 --> 00:37:10,208
No, no, no. We can't wait.
559
00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:12,143
I'm with her.
560
00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:14,245
Lou was in there
and he was trying to eat me
561
00:37:14,312 --> 00:37:15,780
or pull me into him.
562
00:37:15,847 --> 00:37:18,049
- He was trying to...
- Gather?
563
00:37:18,116 --> 00:37:19,416
Exactly.
564
00:37:19,483 --> 00:37:20,752
Just like Schaumburg said.
565
00:37:20,818 --> 00:37:22,320
Yeah, they're doing it
at Santa's village.
566
00:37:22,387 --> 00:37:23,654
I saw something.
567
00:37:23,721 --> 00:37:25,023
I don't know what it was,
but I think the shoppers
568
00:37:25,089 --> 00:37:26,456
are trying to reach each other
and...
569
00:37:26,523 --> 00:37:28,625
At this point,
we're just in their way.
570
00:37:28,693 --> 00:37:30,128
We're gonna have to fight
whatever's left.
571
00:37:30,194 --> 00:37:31,561
Whoa, whoa.
572
00:37:31,628 --> 00:37:33,097
God damn it.
573
00:37:33,164 --> 00:37:34,564
What's wrong?
574
00:37:34,631 --> 00:37:36,533
I can't get dinner
with my kids.
575
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,635
I can't get a drink at work.
576
00:37:38,703 --> 00:37:41,739
I can't even get
a goddamn text to send.
577
00:37:43,374 --> 00:37:45,209
Uh... I'll go get that.
578
00:37:46,411 --> 00:37:48,913
You know what?
I'm getting my bonus
579
00:37:48,980 --> 00:37:50,547
and I'm getting
the fuck outta here.
580
00:37:50,614 --> 00:37:52,516
Are you fucking kidding me?
581
00:37:52,582 --> 00:37:54,018
Jonathan, give me the keys.
582
00:37:54,085 --> 00:37:55,652
Oh, uh...
583
00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:57,989
I left the keys in my office.
584
00:37:59,023 --> 00:38:00,457
Archie.
585
00:38:11,869 --> 00:38:13,603
Where's the holiday bonuses?
586
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,710
Are they, like,
in your office or something?
587
00:38:18,776 --> 00:38:20,845
I thought that I told you
588
00:38:20,912 --> 00:38:24,949
that there were gonna be
no holiday bonuses this year.
589
00:38:26,184 --> 00:38:27,685
What the fuck?
590
00:38:27,752 --> 00:38:30,487
Jonathan, this is bullshit
even for you.
591
00:38:33,791 --> 00:38:35,994
That's not what you told me.
592
00:38:36,060 --> 00:38:39,464
All you said was that there'd
be layoffs after the holidays.
593
00:38:39,563 --> 00:38:43,234
Whoa!
What the hell? Like who?
594
00:38:43,301 --> 00:38:45,569
I mean, fo' sho' you
with them bathroom breaks.
595
00:38:45,635 --> 00:38:47,105
I wash my fucking hands!
596
00:38:47,171 --> 00:38:48,638
This place is a cesspool!
597
00:38:48,706 --> 00:38:50,775
Hey, guys, shut up.
598
00:38:50,842 --> 00:38:53,711
Jonathan, is this true?
599
00:38:53,778 --> 00:38:56,014
♪ Little girl ♪
600
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,715
Well...
601
00:38:57,782 --> 00:39:00,685
it isn't not untrue.
602
00:39:00,752 --> 00:39:03,021
- Oh, my God.
- I mean, yeah, yes, it's true.
603
00:39:06,257 --> 00:39:09,060
I quit, you fucking joke.
604
00:39:09,127 --> 00:39:10,161
For your nose.
605
00:39:12,063 --> 00:39:14,631
Ruth, get away
from the window.
606
00:39:14,699 --> 00:39:16,666
No, the police are here.
607
00:39:16,734 --> 00:39:18,870
Oh, thank God!
608
00:39:30,281 --> 00:39:33,017
Hey, Brian, wait up!
609
00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:34,318
No!
610
00:39:36,586 --> 00:39:38,588
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!
611
00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:43,294
Go!
612
00:39:57,607 --> 00:39:59,744
Oh, God!
613
00:40:06,784 --> 00:40:08,019
They're all headed for that.
614
00:40:09,586 --> 00:40:11,322
What is that thing?
615
00:40:11,389 --> 00:40:12,356
Let's go.
616
00:40:16,727 --> 00:40:18,096
Chris, go.
617
00:40:18,162 --> 00:40:19,831
No, man.
618
00:40:19,897 --> 00:40:23,201
Chris, I'ma hold you down.
619
00:40:23,267 --> 00:40:24,634
Now go. Go!
620
00:40:48,392 --> 00:40:51,362
Got your doorbusters
right here, motherfucker.
621
00:42:14,645 --> 00:42:15,713
Oh!
622
00:42:24,222 --> 00:42:25,756
Ken, block the door!
623
00:42:40,805 --> 00:42:42,073
Oh!
624
00:42:52,183 --> 00:42:54,051
They're never really dead.
625
00:42:57,455 --> 00:42:58,856
Archie?
626
00:43:02,728 --> 00:43:05,529
If they got to him,
what the hell are we gonna do?
627
00:43:05,596 --> 00:43:08,099
I don't think this night
can get any worse.
628
00:43:14,405 --> 00:43:16,907
Okay.
629
00:43:16,974 --> 00:43:18,744
Does anybody else
just think that's funny?
630
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,282
How long do you think
that door will hold?
631
00:43:26,450 --> 00:43:29,487
It's the only idea we've got
and it's gotten us this far.
632
00:43:29,553 --> 00:43:31,856
It's safe for now.
633
00:43:33,124 --> 00:43:35,092
My name is Emmett,
and I have loved toys
634
00:43:35,159 --> 00:43:36,927
since the first of the month.
635
00:43:46,037 --> 00:43:48,472
I think that
that is the shortest
636
00:43:48,539 --> 00:43:49,708
anyone has ever worked here.
637
00:43:59,751 --> 00:44:03,054
I have loved toys
for eight years.
638
00:44:04,855 --> 00:44:06,824
I wanted
to be a dentist, you know.
639
00:44:09,593 --> 00:44:11,797
Ten years.
640
00:44:11,862 --> 00:44:13,331
Got laid off.
641
00:44:14,733 --> 00:44:16,600
Told my wife it'd be temporary.
642
00:44:22,073 --> 00:44:23,607
Four years.
643
00:44:25,176 --> 00:44:28,079
I'd throw my name tag
in the middle, but I lost mine.
644
00:44:31,817 --> 00:44:33,117
Two years.
645
00:44:34,118 --> 00:44:35,419
Imagine making your living
646
00:44:35,486 --> 00:44:37,121
at the place
you begged your mom and dad
647
00:44:37,188 --> 00:44:38,889
to take you to
when you were younger.
648
00:44:45,629 --> 00:44:49,367
I ran home to tell my dad
after I got hired,
649
00:44:49,433 --> 00:44:50,935
and he goes...
650
00:44:52,970 --> 00:44:55,039
"Welcome
to corporate hell, kid."
651
00:44:56,207 --> 00:44:58,844
This place isn't impressive.
652
00:44:58,909 --> 00:45:02,580
It isn't fun or magical.
653
00:45:02,646 --> 00:45:04,348
It's a prison.
654
00:45:04,415 --> 00:45:05,950
It's a ruse.
655
00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:09,987
It's a lie.
656
00:45:11,322 --> 00:45:12,656
Well, that just sucks,
you know,
657
00:45:12,724 --> 00:45:16,026
'cause I always saw you
as manager material.
658
00:45:19,530 --> 00:45:21,132
Shut up, Jonathan.
659
00:45:22,633 --> 00:45:27,138
You guys want to know why
I applied here 27 years ago?
660
00:45:28,139 --> 00:45:29,974
I was lonely.
661
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,710
I believe that there's
a place for everyone,
662
00:45:31,777 --> 00:45:34,345
and this is my place.
663
00:45:34,412 --> 00:45:35,747
It's a place
where you have worth,
664
00:45:35,814 --> 00:45:38,182
where regional managers
call you and ask for numbers,
665
00:45:38,249 --> 00:45:40,651
where you can reprimand
somebody
666
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,855
and they have to listen to you.
667
00:45:43,921 --> 00:45:46,957
Where the women have to laugh
at all your corny jokes
668
00:45:47,024 --> 00:45:49,960
and even the coolest guys
have to obey.
669
00:45:51,462 --> 00:45:54,131
That's what We Luv Toys
means to me.
670
00:45:59,203 --> 00:46:01,372
That's some dark shit
right there.
671
00:46:01,439 --> 00:46:04,475
I legitimately always thought
you were a serial killer.
672
00:46:11,215 --> 00:46:12,751
I can't believe
I missed Thanksgiving
673
00:46:12,818 --> 00:46:15,519
with my family for this.
674
00:46:15,586 --> 00:46:18,690
Well, at least you were
invited to a Thanksgiving.
675
00:46:20,324 --> 00:46:23,594
I'm sorry. Truly.
676
00:46:28,232 --> 00:46:29,600
What are you doing?
677
00:46:52,623 --> 00:46:54,693
No one should be
without Thanksgiving.
678
00:46:57,963 --> 00:46:59,263
Turkey.
679
00:47:00,531 --> 00:47:02,132
Thank you.
680
00:47:02,199 --> 00:47:04,235
Cranberry.
681
00:47:05,837 --> 00:47:07,271
Football.
682
00:47:08,974 --> 00:47:10,040
Black Friday.
683
00:47:11,609 --> 00:47:13,377
Here's some Black Friday
trivia.
684
00:47:14,445 --> 00:47:16,614
The phrase was first used
by Philly cops
685
00:47:16,681 --> 00:47:17,716
to describe the crowds
686
00:47:17,782 --> 00:47:20,117
and the traffic
the day after the holiday.
687
00:47:20,184 --> 00:47:22,286
Mm!
And here's some retail trivia.
688
00:47:22,353 --> 00:47:25,757
The promise of savings
is an illusion
689
00:47:25,824 --> 00:47:28,425
'cause everything they put
out there is sold at a loss
690
00:47:28,492 --> 00:47:30,494
to get you through the door.
691
00:47:30,561 --> 00:47:32,663
Things are still selling
for a high margin too.
692
00:47:32,731 --> 00:47:34,498
So yeah, sure.
693
00:47:34,565 --> 00:47:36,600
Go ahead and get
that cheap flat-screen TV,
694
00:47:36,667 --> 00:47:39,136
but now you need
the wall mount and the cables.
695
00:47:40,070 --> 00:47:41,639
Customers aren't always right.
696
00:47:41,706 --> 00:47:43,708
They just want to think
that they are.
697
00:47:44,776 --> 00:47:45,710
Jesus Christ.
698
00:47:45,777 --> 00:47:47,244
Mm.
699
00:47:47,311 --> 00:47:49,446
Well,
for our last Thanksgiving meal,
700
00:47:49,513 --> 00:47:51,816
- it sure was informative.
- No.
701
00:47:51,883 --> 00:47:54,019
Don't say that.
702
00:47:54,084 --> 00:47:55,486
Don't say this
is our last.
703
00:47:55,553 --> 00:47:57,054
I think she was
just making a joke.
704
00:47:57,121 --> 00:47:58,790
No.
I got two kids out there
705
00:47:58,857 --> 00:48:00,257
that I plan to see again.
706
00:48:00,324 --> 00:48:02,961
Calm down. We get it.
707
00:48:03,028 --> 00:48:04,528
You don't know shit, Chris.
708
00:48:05,997 --> 00:48:08,566
- You don't have a...
- I don't have a what, Ken?
709
00:48:08,632 --> 00:48:10,702
A family that gives a shit
about me?
710
00:48:12,704 --> 00:48:13,571
Maybe you're right.
711
00:48:13,637 --> 00:48:15,272
But at least
I don't love it here.
712
00:48:16,206 --> 00:48:17,508
I don't love it here.
713
00:48:18,977 --> 00:48:20,444
Look at how hard you try
714
00:48:20,511 --> 00:48:23,080
to be the coolest person
working at We Luv Toys.
715
00:48:23,147 --> 00:48:24,716
Guys, can we not do this
right now?
716
00:48:24,783 --> 00:48:26,216
Me?
717
00:48:26,283 --> 00:48:27,384
You're the one that's always
718
00:48:27,451 --> 00:48:29,353
trying to get employee
of the month.
719
00:48:29,420 --> 00:48:31,088
It's a fake award, Christopher.
720
00:48:31,155 --> 00:48:33,123
Don't blame me
for trying my best.
721
00:48:33,190 --> 00:48:35,026
Your best.
722
00:48:35,092 --> 00:48:36,995
You call this your best?
723
00:48:37,062 --> 00:48:40,164
I've never seen a bigger waste
of potential in my life.
724
00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:42,666
Oh, fuck off!
725
00:48:42,734 --> 00:48:44,268
You try to give me
all these tips
726
00:48:44,335 --> 00:48:47,304
about how to live
and when you were my age.
727
00:48:47,371 --> 00:48:49,473
You're not my age.
728
00:48:49,540 --> 00:48:52,944
I still have time to realize
that this job was a mistake.
729
00:48:53,011 --> 00:48:54,846
You got a lot to learn, kid.
730
00:48:54,913 --> 00:48:56,881
"Kid."
731
00:48:56,948 --> 00:48:58,850
I'm not your kid.
732
00:48:58,917 --> 00:49:01,518
You see me way too often
to be your actual child.
733
00:49:10,795 --> 00:49:12,296
Don't.
734
00:49:12,363 --> 00:49:14,933
At least I acknowledge
that this job bums me out.
735
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,569
But, my God, you treat it
like it's high school,
736
00:49:18,636 --> 00:49:20,604
like you're the cool guy
in shop,
737
00:49:20,671 --> 00:49:22,774
dating someone
20 years younger than you.
738
00:49:22,841 --> 00:49:24,675
Okay, we're not dating.
739
00:49:31,348 --> 00:49:32,717
I thought we were a thing.
740
00:49:32,784 --> 00:49:33,885
A thing, yeah.
741
00:49:35,285 --> 00:49:38,123
But, Ken,
you're almost my dad's age.
742
00:49:40,524 --> 00:49:42,459
I will fucking kill you,
nerd!
743
00:49:43,661 --> 00:49:44,996
What about
all the late-night shifts?
744
00:49:45,063 --> 00:49:46,597
What about the time we made out
on the train table?
745
00:49:46,664 --> 00:49:49,500
- You did what?
- We made out.
746
00:49:51,002 --> 00:49:52,937
It passes the time.
747
00:49:53,004 --> 00:49:54,706
But, Ken,
I don't really know you.
748
00:49:55,874 --> 00:49:57,641
I've never seen you
outside of the store.
749
00:49:57,709 --> 00:49:59,778
I mean, I've... I've never
even met your kids.
750
00:50:01,178 --> 00:50:03,148
Would we ever go out on a date?
751
00:50:03,213 --> 00:50:04,783
I don't think so, right?
752
00:50:05,950 --> 00:50:07,351
Pancakes.
753
00:50:11,856 --> 00:50:13,091
No?
754
00:50:25,070 --> 00:50:26,603
So that's it?
755
00:50:28,006 --> 00:50:31,341
You guys all think I'm some
sort of fucking loser, huh?
756
00:50:39,751 --> 00:50:40,819
I'm out of here.
757
00:50:43,287 --> 00:50:44,621
Let's go.
758
00:51:08,479 --> 00:51:10,380
What exactly
are we looking for?
759
00:51:10,447 --> 00:51:11,883
I'm fresh out of ideas.
760
00:51:17,254 --> 00:51:20,457
There's got to be a circuit
breaker or something in here.
761
00:51:38,209 --> 00:51:39,878
I can do you one better.
762
00:52:10,374 --> 00:52:12,110
Hey, what's the plan?
763
00:52:12,177 --> 00:52:13,510
Lou attacked you guys, right?
764
00:52:13,577 --> 00:52:15,379
Damn straight.
He showed Ken what's what.
765
00:52:15,445 --> 00:52:16,580
Right, which means the truck
766
00:52:16,647 --> 00:52:17,949
is still parked
in the loading dock.
767
00:52:18,016 --> 00:52:19,784
And the keys are still
in the truck. He told me.
768
00:52:19,851 --> 00:52:20,985
If we bust open those locks,
769
00:52:21,052 --> 00:52:22,386
we can get
into the bed of the truck.
770
00:52:22,452 --> 00:52:23,755
That's our way out of here.
771
00:52:23,822 --> 00:52:25,355
What happens when you
get into the truck bed?
772
00:52:25,422 --> 00:52:26,523
I figured there's got
to be a hatch
773
00:52:26,590 --> 00:52:28,092
to the front seat, right?
774
00:52:28,159 --> 00:52:30,295
Got it! Let's go.
775
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,429
All right, team.
776
00:52:32,496 --> 00:52:34,232
Listen up.
777
00:52:34,299 --> 00:52:36,234
I've made a decision.
778
00:52:36,301 --> 00:52:39,336
As captain...
779
00:52:39,403 --> 00:52:40,705
I'm going down with the ship.
780
00:52:40,772 --> 00:52:42,339
- No!
- I'm staying behind.
781
00:52:42,406 --> 00:52:43,507
That's it.
782
00:52:43,574 --> 00:52:46,510
We had turkey together.
783
00:52:46,577 --> 00:52:47,879
And pretzels.
784
00:52:47,946 --> 00:52:51,182
Jonathan,
now is not the time, okay?
785
00:52:51,249 --> 00:52:53,350
Then when is my time, huh?
786
00:52:55,552 --> 00:52:58,622
Call me a fool,
but I love it here.
787
00:52:59,824 --> 00:53:01,658
This is my favorite place
in the whole world,
788
00:53:01,726 --> 00:53:05,029
and it would be an honor
to stay with the store
789
00:53:05,096 --> 00:53:06,965
in its final hours,
790
00:53:07,031 --> 00:53:09,834
as any good and strong
manager would.
791
00:53:13,403 --> 00:53:16,241
I told you they never die.
792
00:53:20,444 --> 00:53:23,047
Oh, this just got really bad.
793
00:53:47,805 --> 00:53:49,640
Go, get outta here!
794
00:53:58,683 --> 00:54:00,051
- Ken!
- Don't!
795
00:54:19,170 --> 00:54:22,907
Motherfucker! Ow! Ow!
796
00:54:34,185 --> 00:54:35,219
Ow!
797
00:54:36,453 --> 00:54:38,455
I think we're clear.
798
00:54:38,522 --> 00:54:39,891
Maybe they do die.
799
00:54:39,958 --> 00:54:41,125
- Ken.
- Are you okay?
800
00:54:41,192 --> 00:54:42,827
Wait, wait, wait.
801
00:54:42,894 --> 00:54:44,729
Stay back.
Do not come over here.
802
00:54:46,463 --> 00:54:47,899
Oh, my God.
803
00:54:47,966 --> 00:54:49,133
What happened?
804
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,669
What does it look like?
Fucking new guy bit me.
805
00:54:54,638 --> 00:54:56,341
I can fix this.
We can fix this.
806
00:54:56,407 --> 00:54:57,709
No. No.
807
00:54:57,775 --> 00:54:59,543
You saw what happened
to Anita and Emmett.
808
00:54:59,609 --> 00:55:00,878
If they bite you,
you turn into one of them.
809
00:55:00,945 --> 00:55:02,512
No, no, no, no.
Don't say that.
810
00:55:02,579 --> 00:55:03,881
Well, that is the mythos,
right?
811
00:55:03,948 --> 00:55:06,150
Shut the fuck up, Jonathan!
812
00:55:06,217 --> 00:55:09,153
What happened to going down
with the ship, huh, Captain?
813
00:55:09,220 --> 00:55:10,788
I guess I changed my mind.
814
00:55:10,855 --> 00:55:12,656
We can cut the arm off.
815
00:55:12,724 --> 00:55:14,726
Let's lop it off.
816
00:55:14,792 --> 00:55:17,996
Guys, you already
took my dignity.
817
00:55:19,197 --> 00:55:20,530
Leave my arm.
818
00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:23,567
Get out of here.
819
00:55:23,633 --> 00:55:26,037
Put something in the door.
Don't let me out.
820
00:55:28,638 --> 00:55:30,008
Here.
821
00:55:31,409 --> 00:55:33,277
Ken, I'm... I'm sorry.
822
00:55:35,747 --> 00:55:37,547
Yeah, me too, kid.
823
00:56:05,476 --> 00:56:06,844
Fuck.
824
00:56:08,112 --> 00:56:11,149
Come on, man!
When are you gonna take me?
825
00:56:11,215 --> 00:56:13,518
Fuck!
826
00:56:13,583 --> 00:56:15,920
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
827
00:56:15,987 --> 00:56:19,223
Want to go someplace new, new.
828
00:56:19,290 --> 00:56:21,993
Not my... not myself.
829
00:56:22,060 --> 00:56:25,063
Been a long...
been a long day, day, day.
830
00:56:25,129 --> 00:56:27,799
Been a long... been a long day.
831
00:56:27,865 --> 00:56:29,367
Fuck off, Dour Dennis.
832
00:56:29,434 --> 00:56:31,635
Yet others
are going through much worse.
833
00:56:31,702 --> 00:56:33,171
Fuck off, man.
834
00:56:39,110 --> 00:56:40,945
You know what you're doing?
835
00:56:41,012 --> 00:56:43,748
No, but I figure
if I climb out of the hatch
836
00:56:43,815 --> 00:56:45,349
and get to the front seat,
it's our way out of here.
837
00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,085
Okay. Good plan.
838
00:56:47,151 --> 00:56:49,754
'Cause my Elks Lodge
is only about six miles away.
839
00:56:49,821 --> 00:56:51,355
Or the police station.
840
00:56:51,422 --> 00:56:53,491
The police are here
and they're monsters now.
841
00:56:53,558 --> 00:56:54,725
Now?
842
00:56:54,792 --> 00:56:57,829
Look,
I'll get us somewhere, okay?
843
00:56:57,895 --> 00:57:00,031
Brian, about a year ago,
844
00:57:00,098 --> 00:57:01,766
corporate sent
transportation...
845
00:57:01,833 --> 00:57:03,633
Hey, I hope you don't believe
what Ken said.
846
00:57:03,701 --> 00:57:05,103
It's not true.
847
00:57:06,270 --> 00:57:07,671
It's true.
848
00:57:07,738 --> 00:57:09,673
I don't know if he meant it,
but it's true.
849
00:57:11,342 --> 00:57:14,345
I made things uncomfortable by
bringing you into that fight.
850
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:17,181
You're too good of a person.
851
00:57:17,248 --> 00:57:18,483
You remember
Christmas last year,
852
00:57:18,549 --> 00:57:19,851
we caught that woman stealing?
853
00:57:19,917 --> 00:57:21,252
I wanted to stop her. Y-y...
854
00:57:21,319 --> 00:57:24,288
She had kids.
She was stealing for them.
855
00:57:24,355 --> 00:57:25,456
What?
856
00:57:27,058 --> 00:57:29,060
What was I supposed to do,
call the cops
857
00:57:29,127 --> 00:57:31,429
so that she'd get arrested
and her kids would find out
858
00:57:31,496 --> 00:57:34,365
in the worst possible way
that Santa's not real?
859
00:57:34,432 --> 00:57:35,867
You let her do it?
860
00:57:35,933 --> 00:57:38,903
Marnie...
you did the right thing.
861
00:57:41,706 --> 00:57:43,040
Let's help Chris out.
862
00:58:03,728 --> 00:58:06,063
Hey, how do you
feel today, feel today?
863
00:58:06,130 --> 00:58:09,000
You know, I'm not doing
too good, Dour Dennis,
864
00:58:09,066 --> 00:58:10,434
but I appreciate the sentiment.
865
00:58:10,501 --> 00:58:13,371
Just always
feel bad, bad, bad.
866
00:58:13,437 --> 00:58:14,872
That's great.
867
00:58:14,939 --> 00:58:16,841
That's just fucking awesome.
868
00:58:21,779 --> 00:58:23,080
I'm good.
869
00:58:35,526 --> 00:58:37,128
Ah, fuck.
870
00:58:38,729 --> 00:58:40,431
God damn it, Brian!
871
00:58:46,170 --> 00:58:48,839
What are the odds
Chris fucks this up?
872
00:58:48,906 --> 00:58:50,875
You know, you are
a real boner killer,
873
00:58:50,942 --> 00:58:51,943
you know that?
874
00:58:59,483 --> 00:59:00,518
Bircher.
875
00:59:26,811 --> 00:59:29,681
An emergency at-home order
has been put in place...
876
00:59:31,649 --> 00:59:33,484
What do I do here?
877
00:59:33,551 --> 00:59:35,553
Civilians are advised...
878
00:59:35,620 --> 00:59:36,754
What is this?
879
00:59:36,821 --> 00:59:38,289
What are all these buttons?
880
00:59:38,356 --> 00:59:41,058
I repeat: stay in your home.
881
00:59:41,125 --> 00:59:44,195
An emergency at-home order
has been put in place...
882
00:59:44,262 --> 00:59:47,531
"You should have taken shop."
Shut the fuck up, Dad!
883
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:50,702
Civilians are advised
to avoid
884
00:59:50,768 --> 00:59:52,603
any and all retail areas.
885
00:59:55,573 --> 00:59:57,208
I can't do this at my house.
886
00:59:57,275 --> 00:59:59,711
My house is a mess,
mess, mess, mess.
887
00:59:59,777 --> 01:00:01,445
Quiet, Dennis.
They'll hear us.
888
01:00:04,582 --> 01:00:06,150
Oh, fuck.
889
01:00:11,222 --> 01:00:12,423
Get it together, together.
890
01:00:12,490 --> 01:00:14,058
It's not like my life
was my choice.
891
01:00:14,125 --> 01:00:16,961
Hey!
This is for employees only!
892
01:00:19,030 --> 01:00:20,498
Come on, Dennis.
893
01:00:25,202 --> 01:00:26,937
My wife left me, so I guess
894
01:00:27,004 --> 01:00:29,407
I can do
whatever the fuck I want.
895
01:00:51,028 --> 01:00:52,897
What happened
to the plan, Chris?
896
01:00:52,963 --> 01:00:54,565
I can't drive this truck.
897
01:00:54,632 --> 01:00:56,735
That's what you get for not
taking shop class.
898
01:00:56,802 --> 01:00:58,602
Shh, shh!
The... they'll hear us.
899
01:00:58,669 --> 01:01:00,304
I saw Bircher outside.
900
01:01:00,371 --> 01:01:03,641
He was like Emmett.
He turned but maybe worse.
901
01:01:03,709 --> 01:01:05,543
I-I don't know.
902
01:01:05,609 --> 01:01:08,212
I don't think he saw me.
903
01:01:55,893 --> 01:01:57,294
Are you okay?
904
01:01:58,662 --> 01:02:00,131
Chris!
905
01:02:03,901 --> 01:02:05,603
No, no, no, no, no, no!
906
01:02:07,138 --> 01:02:08,840
Help!
907
01:02:12,943 --> 01:02:15,312
Aah!
908
01:02:15,379 --> 01:02:16,914
Shit!
909
01:02:16,981 --> 01:02:19,617
Jonathan, open the back door!
910
01:02:19,684 --> 01:02:21,152
We're safe in here, no?
911
01:02:21,218 --> 01:02:22,353
No! Obviously not.
912
01:02:22,420 --> 01:02:23,822
These things are fast
and strong.
913
01:02:23,889 --> 01:02:24,922
They'll rip this truck apart.
914
01:02:28,058 --> 01:02:29,660
Go! Go! Get the back!
915
01:02:29,728 --> 01:02:31,095
- Okay. Okay.
- GO! Go!
916
01:03:16,842 --> 01:03:18,442
What are we gonna do?
917
01:03:18,509 --> 01:03:22,246
Okay. Marnie, grab the back
of my sweater.
918
01:03:22,313 --> 01:03:24,448
Then Chris, Brian, you last.
919
01:03:24,515 --> 01:03:25,649
Me last?
920
01:03:25,717 --> 01:03:27,418
Well, unfortunately,
these things are hungry,
921
01:03:27,485 --> 01:03:30,020
and well, you're the slowest
and the juiciest.
922
01:03:46,337 --> 01:03:48,005
Are you crazy?
We can't see in there.
923
01:03:48,072 --> 01:03:49,507
You can't, maybe.
924
01:03:49,573 --> 01:03:52,042
I can walk through this whole
store with my eyes closed.
925
01:03:52,109 --> 01:03:54,178
Come on. Grab on. Let's move!
926
01:03:58,182 --> 01:03:59,684
I can't see anything.
927
01:03:59,751 --> 01:04:01,552
Shut the fuck up, juicy.
928
01:04:27,177 --> 01:04:28,479
This was a good call.
929
01:04:28,546 --> 01:04:30,314
Go high, you know.
That's what they say.
930
01:04:30,381 --> 01:04:32,918
- Who?
- I don't know, sports people?
931
01:04:32,984 --> 01:04:35,787
Marnie, where did the rest
of the shoppers go?
932
01:04:46,831 --> 01:04:48,365
Hello, hello, hello.
933
01:04:48,432 --> 01:04:51,435
Maybe you could love me.
Maybe you could love me.
934
01:05:04,248 --> 01:05:06,785
Guys, over here.
935
01:05:07,953 --> 01:05:09,553
Hey, uh,
936
01:05:09,620 --> 01:05:12,222
I'm totes sorry that I left you
on the sales floor.
937
01:05:12,289 --> 01:05:13,390
It's all right.
Forget about it.
938
01:05:13,457 --> 01:05:15,225
No, I've been a bitch.
939
01:05:15,292 --> 01:05:17,661
But I've totally taken control
since then.
940
01:05:17,729 --> 01:05:19,563
I totally helped with Ken.
941
01:05:19,630 --> 01:05:20,732
What?
942
01:05:22,132 --> 01:05:23,300
Oh, no!
943
01:05:23,367 --> 01:05:24,869
It's spreading too fast.
944
01:05:26,136 --> 01:05:29,273
No, no, no!
We got to put it out.
945
01:05:30,942 --> 01:05:32,811
No, no!
946
01:05:32,877 --> 01:05:35,279
I don't care how much smoke.
Back down the hatch!
947
01:05:42,119 --> 01:05:43,989
Oh, there they are.
948
01:05:44,055 --> 01:05:46,024
We don't have a way out.
949
01:05:46,091 --> 01:05:49,627
You know the worst thing
about holiday shoppers?
950
01:05:50,494 --> 01:05:53,263
They can never accept the fact
that the night is over.
951
01:05:54,099 --> 01:05:57,869
They have no idea what it takes
to work in retail.
952
01:05:57,936 --> 01:06:02,673
Year after year dealing with
hordes of unruly customers.
953
01:06:02,741 --> 01:06:04,709
You know what?
954
01:06:04,776 --> 01:06:08,780
My face hurts
because of all the fake smiles!
955
01:06:11,582 --> 01:06:14,719
My ears hurt from listening
to Air Supply
956
01:06:14,786 --> 01:06:17,922
50,000 times!
957
01:06:19,256 --> 01:06:24,161
Worst of all,
my fucking feet hurt!
958
01:06:24,228 --> 01:06:26,163
What is he doing?
959
01:06:26,230 --> 01:06:27,766
I think he's finally
had enough.
960
01:06:27,832 --> 01:06:31,903
It's right there
in the manager's handbook.
961
01:06:31,970 --> 01:06:36,206
The people that work for you
should be treated...
962
01:06:36,273 --> 01:06:37,709
like family.
963
01:06:37,776 --> 01:06:40,712
Well, these kids,
they're special to me.
964
01:06:41,913 --> 01:06:44,149
They're my family.
965
01:06:44,214 --> 01:06:45,850
Jonathan, what are you doing?
966
01:06:49,353 --> 01:06:51,923
So attention, shoppers,
967
01:06:51,990 --> 01:06:56,226
Black Friday is over!
968
01:06:56,293 --> 01:06:57,962
Whoo!
969
01:07:44,608 --> 01:07:46,477
Somebody say something.
970
01:07:49,313 --> 01:07:51,281
I bit Ken.
971
01:07:51,348 --> 01:07:52,382
You what?
972
01:07:56,888 --> 01:08:00,591
Ma'am, I have the right
to refuse service to anybody!
973
01:08:00,657 --> 01:08:03,061
And it doesn't matter appear
you're wearing a shirt
974
01:08:03,128 --> 01:08:05,964
or shoes, ma'am!
975
01:08:08,532 --> 01:08:10,667
I'll rip this place apart,
including you!
976
01:08:10,735 --> 01:08:12,771
Oh, get it together, dickless!
977
01:08:28,585 --> 01:08:31,421
I made a choice,
and I bit him.
978
01:08:33,057 --> 01:08:35,994
Ken Bates was no hero.
979
01:08:36,060 --> 01:08:38,328
He was a drunk and a creep.
980
01:08:39,898 --> 01:08:42,000
So I did us all a favor.
981
01:08:42,066 --> 01:08:45,136
You are a horrible person.
982
01:08:45,203 --> 01:08:47,272
You piece of shit.
983
01:08:47,337 --> 01:08:48,840
What the fuck?
984
01:08:48,907 --> 01:08:50,241
You didn't even think
about his daughters!
985
01:08:50,307 --> 01:08:51,475
Marnie! Marnie, please!
986
01:08:51,542 --> 01:08:52,911
These are more
than microaggressions!
987
01:08:52,977 --> 01:08:54,279
I fucking hate you!
988
01:08:54,344 --> 01:08:56,547
Guys, stop fighting, okay?
Not now.
989
01:08:56,613 --> 01:08:58,016
Grab some garland
and some lights.
990
01:08:58,082 --> 01:08:59,483
We can rappel off this thing.
991
01:09:43,328 --> 01:09:44,762
I'm okay!
992
01:09:46,130 --> 01:09:47,431
Yeah, me too!
993
01:09:47,497 --> 01:09:49,868
Oh, why are those things
so filthy?
994
01:09:51,401 --> 01:09:52,971
Guys, why is
the garbage so wet?
995
01:09:53,037 --> 01:09:55,039
Chris, you can do it.
996
01:09:56,207 --> 01:09:57,742
Three, two.
997
01:09:57,809 --> 01:09:58,675
Come on.
998
01:09:58,743 --> 01:10:00,345
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
999
01:10:00,410 --> 01:10:03,047
Oh! Five, four...
1000
01:10:03,114 --> 01:10:05,216
Whoa!
1001
01:10:05,283 --> 01:10:06,918
Oh, God.
1002
01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:09,254
Are you okay?
1003
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:11,089
That thing just shook me off
the side of the roof,
1004
01:10:11,155 --> 01:10:13,457
which is perfectly fine because
I was gonna jump anyway.
1005
01:10:13,523 --> 01:10:14,424
It's, like, not even that bad
in here.
1006
01:10:14,491 --> 01:10:16,493
Okay, Chris. Let's go.
1007
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:18,997
Chris? What about me?
1008
01:10:20,798 --> 01:10:24,335
You can stay here
with the rest of the trash.
1009
01:10:24,401 --> 01:10:26,237
Ow!
1010
01:10:26,304 --> 01:10:27,972
I'm sorry!
1011
01:10:28,039 --> 01:10:31,075
He was kind of on
all of our shit, though, right?
1012
01:10:31,142 --> 01:10:32,576
I mean, he said you were
1013
01:10:32,643 --> 01:10:35,847
a waste of potential,
Chris, right?
1014
01:10:35,914 --> 01:10:38,448
He said that you were
his girlfriend.
1015
01:10:38,515 --> 01:10:40,450
Girl, bye!
1016
01:10:40,517 --> 01:10:42,419
Dude was gonna lead us
to certain death
1017
01:10:42,486 --> 01:10:44,621
'cause he was afraid
for his daughters.
1018
01:10:45,690 --> 01:10:47,591
I did us all a favor!
1019
01:10:49,827 --> 01:10:50,962
Hey!
1020
01:11:00,004 --> 01:11:01,672
We have to make a run for it.
1021
01:11:01,739 --> 01:11:03,908
Check every car,
and try to stay quiet.
1022
01:11:09,914 --> 01:11:11,716
Any of those things
out here?
1023
01:11:11,783 --> 01:11:14,686
I think they're
inside of that... thing.
1024
01:11:14,752 --> 01:11:16,020
Looks like the coast is clear.
1025
01:11:18,588 --> 01:11:20,224
This place is gonna blow.
1026
01:11:20,291 --> 01:11:22,459
Try to find a car
that's unlocked.
1027
01:11:22,526 --> 01:11:23,493
Jonathan would have had
a plan!
1028
01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:26,230
We need a plan!
1029
01:11:26,297 --> 01:11:28,166
Oh, shit!
1030
01:11:36,606 --> 01:11:38,343
Oh, Brian, God damn it!
1031
01:11:42,512 --> 01:11:44,015
Let's go.
1032
01:11:54,092 --> 01:11:56,660
What the fuck
is he doing now?
1033
01:12:03,533 --> 01:12:06,004
Oh, my God.
1034
01:12:08,306 --> 01:12:10,108
What is that thing?
1035
01:12:18,349 --> 01:12:21,052
It's mom-fucking-Kong.
1036
01:12:28,625 --> 01:12:29,894
What do we do now?
1037
01:12:32,397 --> 01:12:34,032
It's all the shoppers.
1038
01:12:40,104 --> 01:12:42,006
What if I can
get through to it?
1039
01:12:46,310 --> 01:12:47,611
Are you crazy?
1040
01:12:48,612 --> 01:12:50,748
It's a management thing.
1041
01:12:50,815 --> 01:12:52,483
You'd never understand, Marnie.
1042
01:12:58,256 --> 01:13:00,491
Hi there!
1043
01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:02,960
My name is Brian.
1044
01:13:03,027 --> 01:13:04,495
And I love toys!
1045
01:13:13,504 --> 01:13:14,806
Okay.
1046
01:13:14,872 --> 01:13:16,908
I know you're scared.
1047
01:13:16,974 --> 01:13:20,378
I'm scared too. That's right.
1048
01:13:20,445 --> 01:13:22,612
I'm not gonna hurt you.
1049
01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:24,648
Come closer.
1050
01:13:24,715 --> 01:13:26,851
You and I have been
through a lot, you know?
1051
01:13:28,152 --> 01:13:31,055
You remember Black Friday 2016?
1052
01:13:34,225 --> 01:13:37,728
Uh, I know
the shopper experience.
1053
01:13:37,795 --> 01:13:40,465
I mean, as I always say,
1054
01:13:40,531 --> 01:13:42,967
when in doubt, go shopping!
1055
01:13:49,073 --> 01:13:52,210
You and me,
we have so many mems.
1056
01:13:54,644 --> 01:13:56,646
If anyone knows,
1057
01:13:56,714 --> 01:13:58,249
the customer's always r...
1058
01:13:59,750 --> 01:14:01,352
Oh, my God.
1059
01:14:03,855 --> 01:14:05,389
Shit. Shit.
1060
01:14:05,456 --> 01:14:06,858
Ken's SUV is over there.
1061
01:14:07,825 --> 01:14:09,659
He didn't give us the keys.
1062
01:14:12,396 --> 01:14:15,166
And he didn't put
the fucking carts away!
1063
01:14:15,233 --> 01:14:16,666
Knock, knock!
1064
01:14:20,738 --> 01:14:23,774
You're supposed to say,
"Who's there?"
1065
01:14:23,841 --> 01:14:25,977
- Now a bad time for a dad joke?
- Ken!
1066
01:14:28,212 --> 01:14:29,847
We didn't think
you'd make it.
1067
01:14:29,914 --> 01:14:31,349
Did you see Brian
get just fucking...
1068
01:14:31,415 --> 01:14:32,517
Like a paper football.
1069
01:14:36,687 --> 01:14:39,423
Ken, I'm sorry.
1070
01:14:39,490 --> 01:14:42,527
I'm sorry too.
I was an asshole.
1071
01:14:42,593 --> 01:14:43,828
You're too good
for a toy store.
1072
01:14:43,895 --> 01:14:45,229
You both are.
1073
01:14:45,296 --> 01:14:46,864
That's why
we need to get out of here.
1074
01:14:46,931 --> 01:14:48,699
Come on, let's go.
Go, go, go, go!
1075
01:15:08,019 --> 01:15:09,320
What the hell
are we gonna do?
1076
01:15:09,387 --> 01:15:11,822
If we run,
that thing's gonna pick us off.
1077
01:15:12,924 --> 01:15:14,091
I have an idea.
1078
01:15:19,897 --> 01:15:21,966
Chris,
please don't play hero.
1079
01:15:22,033 --> 01:15:24,402
Can you distract that thing?
1080
01:15:24,468 --> 01:15:25,703
I'ma hold you down.
1081
01:15:25,770 --> 01:15:28,372
- Don't.
- No, Jonathan was right.
1082
01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:30,007
It's fucking Thanksgiving.
1083
01:15:30,074 --> 01:15:31,409
I'm deciding right here
right now,
1084
01:15:31,475 --> 01:15:32,843
you guys are my family.
1085
01:15:32,910 --> 01:15:34,111
- So can you do it?
- Yeah.
1086
01:15:35,646 --> 01:15:37,582
No, I'll do it.
He's got kids.
1087
01:15:37,648 --> 01:15:39,784
No, no, you won't. Hey! Hey!
1088
01:15:39,850 --> 01:15:41,619
Whoa! Hey, right here!
1089
01:15:41,687 --> 01:15:44,255
Hey, right here! Hey!
1090
01:15:48,926 --> 01:15:51,028
I don't like you.
1091
01:15:51,095 --> 01:15:53,164
I don't have to help you.
1092
01:15:53,231 --> 01:15:55,566
I got your discount right here.
1093
01:15:55,633 --> 01:15:57,802
Look at this.
Whoa, whoa, hey!
1094
01:15:57,868 --> 01:15:59,971
Hey, check this out.
Check it out, huh?
1095
01:16:00,037 --> 01:16:03,140
You see that? Hey! Hey!
1096
01:16:03,207 --> 01:16:05,776
Right here, you big bitch!
Right here!
1097
01:16:07,778 --> 01:16:10,181
I don't need to help you.
1098
01:16:10,248 --> 01:16:13,584
I got your discount right here!
Look at this.
1099
01:16:13,651 --> 01:16:16,220
Look here!
1100
01:16:16,287 --> 01:16:18,122
Hey! Hey!
1101
01:16:18,189 --> 01:16:20,057
Yo!
1102
01:16:32,169 --> 01:16:33,739
Oh, no!
1103
01:16:33,804 --> 01:16:36,574
Oh, no, Chris. No.
1104
01:17:07,538 --> 01:17:09,307
Come on!
1105
01:17:26,424 --> 01:17:28,092
Yes! Bang!
1106
01:17:56,087 --> 01:17:57,855
I think I just pissed it off.
1107
01:18:12,970 --> 01:18:14,572
Come on! I think we can
make it to my car.
1108
01:18:14,638 --> 01:18:15,741
Let's go! Come on!
1109
01:18:15,807 --> 01:18:16,974
Come on!
1110
01:18:39,865 --> 01:18:41,665
Just a thing?
1111
01:18:41,733 --> 01:18:43,300
Just a thing.
1112
01:18:43,367 --> 01:18:44,435
Let's go.
1113
01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:49,907
Leah texted.
1114
01:18:49,974 --> 01:18:52,042
My daughters are okay.
1115
01:18:52,109 --> 01:18:54,478
They set up safe havens
for people.
1116
01:18:55,212 --> 01:18:57,214
Sounds good to me.
Let's do it.
1117
01:18:58,349 --> 01:19:00,651
We gotta make a detour first.
1118
01:19:00,719 --> 01:19:02,019
For what?
1119
01:19:03,487 --> 01:19:04,689
For pancakes.
1120
01:19:07,726 --> 01:19:08,959
Let's go!
1121
01:19:11,362 --> 01:19:12,798
Well...
1122
01:19:12,864 --> 01:19:14,932
well... well... well,
1123
01:19:14,999 --> 01:19:17,201
it's been a long day,
day, day.
1124
01:19:17,268 --> 01:19:20,438
And this is surely the end.
1125
01:19:37,971 --> 01:19:41,440
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull