1 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,360 The Met have been after a London drug dealer known as The Dean for years. 2 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,640 Yet I've just arrested him with ten kilos of cocaine in his boot. 3 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,440 I think you put the cocaine in his car. 4 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,240 When were we supposed to have done this? 5 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,200 How about a donation for my bucket? 6 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,920 How would we even go about planting drugs in a man's car? 7 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,200 - I've been at the... - Community Centre. 8 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,680 - All day. - You never let them out of your sight? 9 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,600 No, ma'am. 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,600 We're suing you for wrongful dismissal, 11 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,920 breach of contract, and workplace bullying. 12 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,960 I'm middle-aged, divorced and unemployed, 13 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,080 but I think you're terrific and I wondered if you'd like 14 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,600 to grab a bite to eat sometime. 15 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,840 You can't park here unless you have a disability. 16 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,800 I do. My girlfriend's a crippling bore. 17 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,400 - Oh, charming! - Wait-- 18 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:38,840 Come back to bed. 19 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,480 Er, yeah. I'd... I'd love to but I have to... 20 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,000 I have to go out. 21 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,560 When are you coming back? 22 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,760 I'm not sure. 23 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,040 Oh? 24 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,920 Mysterious. 25 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:54,560 Well... can I see you again? I had fun tonight. 26 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,480 Yeah. - Yeah? 27 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,920 Great. 28 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,720 Well, let me get my phone and we can swap deets. 29 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,440 Can you just... just pull over here? 30 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,880 You got those Maris Pipers? Yeah. 31 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,400 {\an8}Some people think Community Payback is an easy option. 32 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,600 - A soft touch. - Yeah, everyone. 33 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:02,960 Well, it ain't. 34 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,560 This lot may look innocent enough, but never forget, 35 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,720 you are dealing with hardened criminals. 36 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:11,080 Why do they hate me? It's like they know I had a bacon roll for breakfast! 37 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,200 Never show weakness. 38 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,160 These offenders will eat you alive, 39 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,520 unless, like me, you're tough 40 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,760 and you've earned their respect. 41 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,360 A bit like Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. 42 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,360 I'm exactly like Michelle Pfeiffer. 43 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,640 But I bet you look better in a PVC catsuit. 44 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,680 Inappropriate but I'll allow it. 45 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,680 Listen up! 46 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,240 This is Stan. 47 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,080 Stan is a trainee Community Service Supervisor. 48 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:49,800 Stan is a homosexual, which does not matter. 49 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:54,360 Stan is also my protégé, which is a French word for 'minion'. 50 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,120 Isn't 'minion' already a French word? 51 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,680 Do you want cinq more hours? 52 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,120 Non. 53 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,680 Now I want you to think of Stan as an extension of me. 54 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,920 A second head growing out of my neck. 55 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,360 Now, I want you to treat this second head with respect. 56 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,520 As much respect as the first head? 57 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,600 - No. - So how much respect? 58 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,680 About half. 59 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,720 The second head is definitely inferior to the first head. 60 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,880 I want you to blow this and say, "Back to work." 61 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,240 What, already? 62 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,800 God, this job moves quick. 63 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,800 Only got my first pair of smart shoes on Monday. 64 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,360 Welcome to the jungle. 65 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,920 You're gonna need to work on that puff. 66 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,360 No, can't call him a poof, it's homophobic. 67 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,200 No, "puff", "work on that puff", like whistle blowing. 68 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,720 Apparently, you can say... you can say "queer" again now. That's come back. 69 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,280 I'm not risking it. 70 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:48,120 It's like in the '90s when they said that Vietnam is now a holiday destination. 71 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,440 I thought, "Yeah, wait and see on that one." 72 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,520 - Back to work. 73 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,240 Now, you four. 74 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,440 You're this close to completing your hours, all right? 75 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,560 So less attitude, more servitude. 76 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,800 Back to work. 77 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,160 I don't suppose you've got any blister plasters, do you? 78 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,680 These brogues are still pinching. 79 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:10,360 Suck it up. Pain is weakness leaving the body. 80 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:15,920 Hey! 81 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,280 I need your help! 82 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,760 Oh! 83 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,440 - Is he dead? - Yes! 84 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,760 We have to hide the body. 85 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,400 I'm sorry, "we"?! 86 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,520 This isn't my car. People will be looking for it. 87 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,320 - She means, why would we help you?! - Because you're all involved! 88 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,840 How? We haven't seen you in six months. 89 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,040 Sorry, this might seem like an obvious question, 90 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,360 but why have you got a dead body?! 91 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,880 It's a lovely day for it, innit? I'm gonna get some snout and... 92 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:08,680 In this job, you need a sixth sense for what's happening all around you. 93 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,200 These criminal types are always up to something. 94 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,480 Jesus Christ! 95 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,360 And it's our responsibility to know what. 96 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,920 What have you got there? 97 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,360 - Oh... - Hay. 98 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,560 What, it takes four of you to carry some hay? 99 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,000 How heavy is it? 100 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,320 You'd be fucking surprised. 101 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,720 Townies. Hurry up then. 102 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:34,160 See, what I did there was wave my authority dick in their face. 103 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,880 - What are you writing down? - Your words of wisdom. 104 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,960 Oh. What have you got so far? 105 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,480 "Crime costs" and "Here's your invoice". 106 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,320 "Napoleon said rule with an iron fist and a velvet glove. 107 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,960 Wrong. Rule with an iron fist and an iron glove". 108 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,720 And "Bring your own bog roll 'cause these bastards will steal anything". 109 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,680 Good advice. 110 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,680 Police! 111 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,160 Open up! 112 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,080 Well, this is a nice surprise. 113 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,440 Does this mean I have a shot at another date? 114 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,040 Maybe I'm just here to order some jerk chicken. 115 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,480 What, at eight in the morning? 116 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,880 - Heart wants what it wants. - So... 117 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,360 how about tonight? 118 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,640 Yeah, I'm gonna have to check my diary. 119 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,480 - Mmm. - But... 120 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,280 it's looking good. 121 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,440 Yes! Looking very good. 122 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,280 I'll see you tonight. 123 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,000 I'll see you later. 124 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,480 No to illegal deportations! 125 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,720 Right, everybody out, please! 126 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,760 ♪ We shall not, we shall not be moved ♪ 127 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,120 ♪ We shall not, we shall not be moved ♪ 128 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,480 ♪ Just like a tree that's planted by the water ♪ 129 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,000 ♪ We shall not be moved ♪ 130 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,120 Bye-bye then. Move on. 131 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,960 I'm heavier than I look, aren't I? 132 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,840 Like a futon. 133 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:50,840 Myrna? 134 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,200 Sean. 135 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,320 You haven't changed. 136 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:56,520 You have. 137 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:57,960 Are you okay? 138 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,040 Yeah, yeah. 139 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,040 - Last time I pay for speedy boarding. 140 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,880 I thought that you and your wife lived in Toronto. 141 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,880 We're divorced. I'm gonna be back in Bristol for a week. 142 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,640 Doing a guest lecture at our old university, shilling my new book. 143 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,600 Yeah, I read your last one. I liked it. 144 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,640 Would you... like to go for a drink before I leave? 145 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,480 Er... no. 146 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,840 No, I'm really busy, all the time. 147 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,720 Well, if you get a free moment, 148 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,880 here's my number. Oh? 149 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,640 So glad I ran into you. 150 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,080 Who says activism achieves nothing? 151 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,000 Here's hoping to see you soon. 152 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,520 The boundary wall does encroach five yards further into Mr Cowen's property 153 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,600 - than you and your wife first indi-ca-ted. Ooh, yes! 154 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,840 Ooh, that's so good! 155 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,440 Erm, now taking this to the courts would be time-consuming. 156 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,080 - It's expen... 157 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,400 - ...sive. 158 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,520 But what I can recommend is contacting the Land Reg-- 159 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,560 Can you give me one second to discuss something with my paralegal? 160 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,040 Yes! 161 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,400 Gabby, please! 162 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,440 This is supposed to be a business hub, not Pornhub. 163 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,120 - Oh, God. 164 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,080 We agreed. Silent scissoring only between nine and five. 165 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,760 Don't worry. Greg always pops out at midday for a Boots meal deal. 166 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,520 - Now, that is sexy talk. - Do you want to hear the full order? 167 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:24,520 - Mmm. - One large steak bake. 168 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:25,920 Ooh, Mama! 169 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,560 A bottle of strawberry Yop. 170 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,000 Mmm! 171 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,240 Some... 172 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,720 ridged McCoy's. 173 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,080 Ooh, ridged! 174 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,080 - Mmm. - And a KitKat. 175 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,720 Yeah? 176 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,120 How many fingers? 177 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,560 Four. 178 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,920 I need legal advice. 179 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,520 - Are you listening to whale music? 180 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,680 No, it's Gabby and her new lady friend. 181 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,240 They seem to be taking part in some kind of sex marathon. 182 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,760 I can't believe they haven't cramped up. 183 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,560 And God knows what state their nipples are in. 184 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,000 I'm just glad I didn't sponsor 'em. 185 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,520 Right. You know that airport protest I was telling you about? 186 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,840 - Yeah. - It worked. 187 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,400 I got arrested. 188 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,920 I'm trying to resolve a particularly heated hedge dispute so we're all busy. 189 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,320 Oh, no, this is a work question, Greg. 190 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,520 No, it's only a work question if you pay me, Myrna. 191 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,960 I've ploughed all of my money into the anti-deportation campaign. 192 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,200 This will have to be pro bono. 193 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,520 I can't afford to dole out free legal advice. 194 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,840 Oh, come on! Would you like to get sent to a hotel in Rwanda? 195 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,240 Yeah. I bet it's quieter. 196 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,720 - Great! 197 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,800 - They've moved from acoustic to electric. 198 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,400 It's like this 24-7. 199 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,440 Oh! 200 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,720 Did you take the batteries out of the remote? 201 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,800 Oh, I'll put them back when we're done. Hi, darling! Mwah! 202 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,840 Mrs. Cosgrove next door complained about the noise. 203 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,480 She was watching This Morning and couldn't hear Alison Hammond laughing. 204 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,240 - And that's saying something. - You look flushed. What's going on? 205 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,040 Nothing. I'm menopausal. 206 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,320 No, it's something else. 207 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,800 Oh, my God! You've met someone. 208 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,800 Okay. That is incredible. 209 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,960 Oh! Tell me everything! 210 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,520 Sean, an old flame from way back in the day. 211 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,880 We bumped into each other at the airport. 212 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,000 - When are you meeting him? - Oh, I'm not meeting him. 213 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,480 I'm just telling you 'cause of the mad coincidence of it all. 214 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,560 No, but why wouldn't you go and give yourself a chance at happiness? 215 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,680 Because, unlike you two, 216 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,240 I don't believe that being coupled up is the answer to life's problems. 217 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,600 My girlfriend says that as single people 218 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,320 we weren't human beings, we were human doings. 219 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,440 Are you dating a fridge magnet? 220 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,960 You don't have to marry this guy. 221 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,120 Why don't you just meet him for a drink and see what happens? 222 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,640 I'm not going. 223 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,280 - Myrna, I know you're scared but-- - I'm not scared. 224 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,920 You can't jump out of a plane without jumping out of a plane. 225 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,120 I have done massive cocaine deals 226 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,600 and been chased by gangsters with knives, I'm not scared of anything. 227 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000 So why aren't you going? 228 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,320 Because I'm... 229 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:06,880 I'm busy. 230 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:08,720 Fine. 231 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,320 But, erm... 232 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,880 for the sake of argument, 233 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,680 if I was scared... how would I deal with that? 234 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,680 Well, step one, we call him. Come on! 235 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,200 Give me his number. 236 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,760 Come on, now! 237 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:31,520 I want you to act like you've just had six glasses of Chablis in the bath. 238 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,960 - Depressed? - No, mellow. 239 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,320 And no politics. 240 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,280 Why would I pretend to be somebody that I'm not? 241 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,520 When dating we pretend because we are horny. 242 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,560 Hmm? - Oh. 243 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,560 Chablis in the bath. 244 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,760 Hello? - Hi, Sean. 245 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,360 This is Myrna. 246 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,440 I just drank a bottle of Chablis in the bath, 247 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,280 and not because I'm suicidal. 248 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,000 - Good to know. - Um, so? 249 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,200 I was thinking, that, erm, that drink. 250 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,440 I think that that would be... 251 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,240 mellow, dude. 252 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:08,560 Great. 253 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,360 Is our old pub still there? 254 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,280 Yeah, but they've gentrified the shit out of it, 255 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,080 cos the Tories gave tax breaks to the rich! 256 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,160 Ah... 257 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,960 But the point is... 258 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,160 it's nice. 259 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,000 - 8:00pm? - Great. 260 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:28,400 And, Myrna, I'm glad you called. I'm looking forward to it. 261 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,360 Me too. 262 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,320 I won't be pressured into sex! 263 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,160 Not #MeToo! "Me too" as in, "I'm looking forward to it as well." 264 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,360 Oh! Me too. I'm looking forward to it as well. 265 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,520 Yay! 266 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,800 Now, what do we wear? 267 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,280 This. 268 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:49,400 Darling, you're dressing for a date not selling kombucha at Glastonbury. 269 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,600 And a deep breath out. 270 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,120 Feel yourself shifting into a calmer energy state. 271 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,440 Let your breath ground you and repeat with me: 272 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,960 - I am blooming as a flower... - I am blooming as a flower... 273 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,720 - and float through stress... - and float through stress... 274 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,760 - like petals in the wind. - like petals in the wind. 275 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,200 Through stress like petals in the wind. 276 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,520 Alright then. 277 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,040 - Derek? - Yes, mate. 278 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,520 Do you have a preferred route? 279 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,520 - No. - Okay. 280 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,880 I think we'll take the A432 up through Fishponds. 281 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,120 Google Maps will tell you that's seven minutes slower, 282 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:49,280 but it will also tell you to take the M32 even though it's down to one lane, 283 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:53,320 so good luck getting past Frenchay Hospital at rush hour, eh? 284 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,680 There's a recent copy of GQ in the back there. 285 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,360 Nice little interview with James McAvoy. 286 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,760 Got Smints if you need them, Winter Fresh and Spearmint. 287 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:09,400 If you need a charge cable, I have Lightning, micro USB and USB-C. 288 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,000 And there's some bottled water in the door gully. 289 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,080 And not the cheap bottles that you get from the corner shop. 290 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,560 You know, the ones that are all too thin and squishy 291 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,480 and it sort of squashes when you try and open it. 292 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,760 You end up splashing it everywhere and now you've got water in your lap 293 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,680 before your big presentation. 294 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,920 Oh, right. Message received, friend. 295 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,520 Oh, yes. 296 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,680 Oh, yes. Now this... 297 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,320 this is the look. 298 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,040 But I can't walk. 299 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,960 I need to be able to walk, don't I? 300 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,680 No, you'll get a cab to the restaurant. 301 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,920 And remember, keep it light, keep it frothy. 302 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,280 Laugh at everything he says, play with your earrings a little, 303 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,480 and, needless to say, eat nothing. 304 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,320 I'm starving! 305 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,320 Oh, darling, you eat before you go. Restaurants are no place for eating. 306 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,800 Hey! 307 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:30,320 - Do you want to see the menu? 308 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,560 I'm hungry. 309 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,920 - Are you hungry? - No. 310 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,280 I just had a baked potato. 311 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,080 Hmm. 312 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,960 So this is special, innit? 313 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,560 - It is really special. - Eh? 314 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,320 And I can't tell you how I love this clock. 315 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,440 - I can tell you're excited. 316 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,320 Oh, my God! Oh! 317 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,680 All of these holes here tell a story to do with lots of 318 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,320 - transformations this clock's had. 319 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,720 So the holes are saying that something else was there before. 320 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,640 Yeah, it's like a house. You wouldn't expect a house to stay... 321 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,320 Would you like another cheese-and-pickle sandwich? 322 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,320 I would actually. That would be great. Thanks very much. 323 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,240 Oh, you know when you were swimming at the lido earlier 324 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,320 and I left you a few messages about being careful? 325 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,000 - Eight messages. - Eight messages. 326 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,160 Yeah, well, the reason is, I realised if you were to slip in the changing rooms 327 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,640 and crack your head open, I don't know your blood type. 328 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,040 - Neither do I. - Put that knife down! 329 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,280 Right, I'll make the sandwiches, you make a doctor's appointment, immediately. 330 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,800 - Oh, that was a lucky escape, love. 331 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,760 Aly went into psychology, like me. Connor wants to be a drummer. 332 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,640 Or a professional hacky sacker. We're still negotiating. 333 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,640 - What about you? Any kids? - No. 334 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,480 I wanted to change the world. 335 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,960 - Not-- - Not nappies. 336 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,280 I remember. 337 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:46,280 Do you regret it? 338 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,640 Not having children? 339 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,920 I regret a lot of things. 340 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,440 I regret... 341 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,400 being thrown out of Live Aid for protesting. 342 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,520 About the whole white saviour complex? 343 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:01,640 No. 'Cause Phil Collins got way more time than Sade. 344 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,960 Well, to hell with regrets. 345 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,760 To... second chances. 346 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,560 - To second chances. 347 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,760 Shall we get more wine? 348 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,200 Well, actually, I have to get going. 349 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,200 I've got a tutorial tomorrow morning at 9:00am 350 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,920 and if I don't get eight hours sleep, I have to take a week off. 351 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,080 Right. 352 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,520 Okay. 353 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,320 Now, as you know, I don't keep secrets from you guys, 354 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,280 so this is just a little update on my mental and physical health. 355 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,680 I'm still in Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, 356 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,440 and anger management. I know, I am more damaged than a Yodel parcel. 357 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,000 But on the physical side, 358 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,480 I did have a little scare recently. 359 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,320 A couple of months ago, I was getting these 360 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,800 really heavy periods, and I mean, loads of blood. 361 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,800 It was like that bit in The Shining. 362 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,640 And my gyno discovers these growths on my womb 363 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,680 called uterine polyps. Now, nothing cancerous, 364 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,960 but I did have to have them removed just in case. 365 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,440 The operation was fine. Worst bit? 366 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,280 No sex for six weeks! 367 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,080 Those were the days. 368 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:20,160 Now, thankfully, that healing period has just ended 369 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:24,560 and my flatmate Greg can confirm my sex life is back to normal. Right? 370 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,680 - So I've heard. - I am hornier than a Viking's hat. 371 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,800 And you know how horny I was before. But, guys... 372 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,680 get yourselves checked out regularly downstairs, okay? 373 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,520 I don't care if you've got a fanny, balls, both, neither, 374 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,560 you just make sure you have a good rummage around for Auntie Gabby. 375 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,400 - Oh, babe, someone's calling you. 376 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,840 - Oh. 377 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,480 Spare no detail. 378 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,160 He says he has to leave because of work. What does that mean? 379 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,840 He has to leave because of work? 380 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,880 He's making an excuse. 381 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,840 I put myself out there and now look what bloody happens! 382 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,200 Did you have a good time? 383 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,400 I thought we did. 384 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,760 Even if it doesn't work out this time, you are back on the horse. 385 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,640 I should never have agreed to this! 386 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,160 Oh! Hi, Ruth. 387 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,440 Myrna. 388 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,240 This is, erm, Sean. 389 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,600 My, er... my friend. 390 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,480 John Halloran's wife. 391 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,440 - From Community Payback. - Nice to meet you. 392 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,040 - And you. 393 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,080 Tell John I hope he's well. 394 00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,760 What are you doing? 395 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,240 I was... 396 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,320 I was going to kiss you. 397 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,360 I thought you had to go. 398 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,000 I don't want to have any regrets. 399 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,280 Neither do I. 400 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,680 Hey, can I ask you a question? 401 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:30,120 It's my daughter's birthday in a few days. 402 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,720 What would you buy a teenage girl? 403 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,920 She loves... she loves horses. 404 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,640 Loves rolling her eyes. 405 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,680 You should get her a dad who just shuts the fuck up and drives. 406 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,400 I am blooming as a flower 407 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,880 and float through stress like petals in the wind. 408 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,480 I am blooming as flower 409 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,240 and float through stress like petals in the wind. 410 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,360 I am blooming as flower 411 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,120 and float through stress like petals in the wind. 412 00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:59,920 Oh, erm, Gabby got him 413 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:02,400 into Gwyneth Paltrow's favourite mindfulness app. 414 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,200 Yeah, he's just connecting his mind to his vagina. 415 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,520 Now what? 416 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,600 Now we bury him. 417 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,840 On the farm? 418 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,600 No, I just brought him here to see the pigs. 419 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,480 I have a question. 420 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,080 Who exactly... 421 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,560 would we be burying? 422 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,200 You seem anxious. 423 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,240 Oh, do I now? 424 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,560 I really hope he puts those marvellous powers of perception to use in court. 425 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:38,640 Don't you, Smiler? 426 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,040 Of course I'm anxious. 427 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,760 I'm on trial in three days 428 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,360 and the prosecution's key witness is still breathing. 429 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:48,320 What happened, Smiler? I told you to deal with it. 430 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,120 They got him stashed somewhere. I'm trying to triangulate that shit. 431 00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:56,480 As your lawyer, I must advise against triangulating any shit. 432 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:01,840 And what's your plan? 433 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,920 Aside from shafting me for 500 quid an hour? 434 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,680 As we agreed, I discredit him in the witness box. 435 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,520 Along with the entire police case. 436 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,960 And the girl, Smiler? Did you find her? 437 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,760 She's been bouncing around, but I believe she's in London. 438 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,400 What do you want me to do? 439 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,600 As your lawyer, once again, I must advise against violence. 440 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:24,880 I was framed. 441 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:28,480 By a small-time dealer and a school girl. 442 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:34,280 Either their heads roll or mine will. 443 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,520 If the bodies start piling up, every finger points at you. 444 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,840 Do what you have to do but after the trial. 445 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:45,520 After the trial, Mr. Lawyer, I'll be in fucking prison! 446 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,560 You're not going to prison. 447 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,960 That's why you pay me 500 quid an hour. 448 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,760 What do you want me to do, boss? - I want you to triangulate shit! 449 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:00,840 That's what I want! 450 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,440 I want to know the whereabouts of Christian Taylor and Rani Rekowski. 451 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,280 DS Selforth. 452 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,080 - You know Rhona Weaver from the CPS? - Yep. 453 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,200 She's leading the team prosecuting The Dean. 454 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:20,200 Go ahead. 455 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,560 From the requests I've been getting, 456 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,480 I'm certain The Dean's defense will be that he was fitted up. 457 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,400 For God's sake! By who? 458 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,160 Lucy Haines. 459 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,120 The three P's of police work are persistence, 460 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,120 persistence and... 461 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,400 persistence. 462 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,400 That's brilliant! 463 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,280 - It's an old joke but it's true. 464 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,880 Now, we arrested this man thanks to persistence 465 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,280 and the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act, which means? 466 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,560 - Diane? - You spied on him. 467 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,720 We call it surveillance. 468 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,840 No, yeah. I know that. Just dumbing it down for this lot. 469 00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,040 Over 18 months, 470 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,280 email intercepts, undercover operatives, 471 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,040 and bugs planted in his warehouse helped us build a watertight case. Now... 472 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,880 who else do we target using RIPA legislation? 473 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:11,920 Anyone other than Diane? 474 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,560 Sophie, we haven't heard from you today. 475 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,080 She don't know. 476 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:19,840 Anyone at all? 477 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,760 Come on, guys, we covered this last week. Charles in the back? 478 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:26,880 I guess Diane then. 479 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,280 Who does RIPA target? 480 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,360 Fraudsters, terrorists, paedos. 481 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:32,640 Correct. 482 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,040 Have it! 483 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:35,920 Do you trust her? 484 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,960 It's an office joke her straight Lucy is. 485 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,280 She made us show a receipt for her birthday cake. 486 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,440 - And the candles. - Be that as it may, 487 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,400 our end has to appear Daz white. 488 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,000 Which is why I'm bringing in the Counter Corruption Unit. 489 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,560 - Oh! Can't we keep this in-house? - It won't look good enough to a jury. 490 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,600 Rhona, personal favor. 491 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:54,720 Just give us a few days. 492 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:57,720 Just so we can see what's going on here ourselves. 493 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:00,960 Forty-eight hours. 494 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,680 Sergeant Haines, with the exam fast approaching, can I ask, 495 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,000 will there be anything on those lights that show up fingerprints and jizz? 496 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,480 - I can't tell you that. - Can you give me a clue? 497 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,400 No, you can't give me a clue, 498 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,320 or you just gave me one but it was too subtle to notice? 499 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,360 If I want to be a police detective, 500 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,400 I need to be able to spot my own clues. 501 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:23,720 Roger that, ma'am. 502 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,840 So, when do you fancy going for a drink with me? 503 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,320 Obviously, not in a lesbian way. 504 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,760 I'm a demon for the cock, as you know. 505 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,720 I have to get back to the office. 506 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,120 Gonna crack open a bottle of whisky and open up some cold cases? 507 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:36,720 - I don't drink. - No? 508 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,800 I always had you pegged as a Cagney type. 509 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,680 - A what? - Cagney & Lacey. 510 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,080 Police show from the '80s. 511 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,720 Cagney was a big drinker. Lacey was more about family. 512 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,600 Still a bloody good detective though. 513 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,200 We're a bit like Cagney and Lacey, aren't we? 514 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,400 Both great police, mutual respect for each other, 515 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,000 always bantering back and forth, usually while walking. 516 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,760 - Goodnight, Diane. - Night, ma'am. 517 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,560 Lucy is not bent. 518 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,320 You stood right there while she said she wouldn't apologise for being ambitious. 519 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,960 That if she collared The Dean then we'd all take a bow. 520 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,440 She had motive and opportunity. 521 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,240 Motive maybe, but she never had opportunity. 522 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,080 I was with her the entire time, sir. She never had a chance to plant a thing. 523 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:22,440 I respect your loyalty but I need you to double-check that Lucy is above board. 524 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,800 I'm not policing my partner, sir. 525 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,760 It's either that or Counter Corruption march in, 526 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,040 and even when Lucy's found to be clean, 527 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,560 she has a stink on her for the rest of her career. 528 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,480 I'm asking you to do her a favor. 529 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,280 - Is that an order? - If it makes you feel better. 530 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,360 You're a smart young woman, Rani, 531 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,480 so I take it you realise, you and your friends are in a lot of trouble? 532 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,960 The Met have been after a London drug dealer 533 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,760 known as The Dean for years but could 534 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,200 never pin anything on him. 535 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,800 Yet I've just arrested him with ten kilos of cocaine in his boot. 536 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,880 How did I do that? 537 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,040 Knowing you, ma'am, it was by doing some bloody good police work. 538 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,160 Did you stop pulling over black men and start pulling over criminals? 539 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,800 Still using cassette tapes? 540 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:15,640 Where do you even buy them now? 541 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,560 I'd like my one phone call, please. 542 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:21,600 And it will be to a sex line, so I'll be needing some privacy. 543 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,760 You are saying, under caution, 544 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,760 that you've had no dealings with a drug dealer known as The Dean? 545 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,280 I'm saying that if I were a clever 546 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:36,240 and ambitious policewoman who just caught a major criminal 547 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,240 that the Met Police have been chasing for years, 548 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,880 I wouldn't question how it happened. 549 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,160 I'd take the win. 550 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,160 I wouldn't question how it happened. 551 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,200 - I'd take the win. 552 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,000 Burning the midnight oil? 553 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,120 Somebody's looking for a raise. 554 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,400 What you listening to? 555 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,400 Just checking a few things before we testify. 556 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:03,920 Anything I can help with? 557 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,800 All set, thanks. 558 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,800 So, how was tonight's lecture? 559 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,000 Instructive. You should come sometime. 560 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,120 - You might learn something. 561 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,880 Yo, you're calling Christian Taylor but I can't chat, 562 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,640 so leave your deets and I'll holla back. 563 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,800 Thanks, love. 564 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,360 - Hello? 565 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,160 Is this Rani? 566 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,040 Shit. 567 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,000 Stride in to out. 568 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,760 In to out. - Yeah? You kind of push through it. 569 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,840 Push through what? What am I pushing through? 570 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,720 - Push your stride! 571 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,280 - Ooh! 572 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:12,920 Do you know what? I think I need a break. 573 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,280 Okay, that's probably a good idea. 574 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,440 Hoo! - You did good though. 575 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,120 No. 576 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,760 I must have looked like such an idiot. 577 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,840 Nah. You... 578 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,280 - You look cute. - Mmm. 579 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,920 Mm. I'd rather look... 580 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:28,480 tough. 581 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,440 Don't think you can look tough on roller skates. 582 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,400 - Mmm. - It's like being a gangster florist. 583 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,640 You know you've a better chance of impressing me with your cooking. 584 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,000 How's about I cook you breakfast sometime? 585 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,760 That's very forward. 586 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:50,000 I mean, you could come over at breakfast time sometime. 587 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,440 Mm-hmm. 588 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,440 - Do you know what? On that note... 589 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,520 I'm g-- I'm gonna go. I'm gonna practice. 590 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:58,600 You got this. - Yeah? 591 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,040 - Yeah. - Was that a push-through? 592 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,760 - In to out. - In to out, in to out. 593 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,000 Here we go. All right, I'm doing it! 594 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,320 - Ben's phone. Who is this? 595 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:23,920 Tori. Who's this? 596 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,000 Is Ben there? 597 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,440 Er, he'll be back in a minute. 598 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,000 I don't have a minute! 599 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,560 Can I take a message? 600 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,880 Tell him Rani called. I have to deal with a loose end and I need to speak to him. 601 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:21,840 Are you okay? 602 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:23,880 Yeah. 603 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,040 Shock to the system, that's all. 604 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,080 A good shock? 605 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,160 Happy tears. 606 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,040 Don't do the menopause, that's all, Sean. 607 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,960 - I promise nothing. 608 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:52,960 So... 609 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:55,560 are you gonna come round for breakfast sometime? 610 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,080 Yeah, I will. 611 00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,840 - Any allergies? - Ibuprofen. 612 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:04,880 Well, I promise not to season our omelettes with Nurofen. 613 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:06,800 Much appreciated. 614 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:08,920 Goodnight. 615 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,200 For you. 616 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,360 - Ah, thank you. - Mm. 617 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,080 - We'll get you there. - Mm, one day. 618 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:16,960 - Mmm. 619 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,840 I'm sorry, I... 620 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,280 I forgot. Erm... 621 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,880 Your phone rang and I answered. 622 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,160 It was someone called Rani. 623 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:31,280 What did she want? 624 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,040 Something about dealing with a loose end. 625 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,680 She said she needed to speak to you. 626 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:39,680 Rani's my ex. 627 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,320 and I don't need to speak to her. 628 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,040 Not ever. 629 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:02,840 What was that for? 630 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:06,680 Being so honest. 631 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,800 Do you want to come in? 632 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:15,520 - Yeah. - Yeah? 633 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,880 - Yeah. 634 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,000 Who's Tori? 635 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,080 What? 636 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,120 I called you last night and someone called Tori picked up. 637 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,640 - She's a girl that I'm seeing. - For how long? 638 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,640 - That's none of your business. - How did you meet? 639 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,800 She works at the hotel across the road from my café. 640 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,960 Oh, right, okay. What?! 641 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,160 - No, go on. - Did she pass on my message? 642 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,440 - Yeah. - So why didn't you reply to me?! 643 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,120 Because I haven't heard from you for the past six months! 644 00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,520 What was I supposed to do, hmm? Just drop everything because you ring? 645 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,360 You left him on a train and broke his heart. He was humiliated. 646 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,200 - Exactly! - Yeah. 647 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:58,640 - Wait. What? - Huh? 648 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,320 How do you know? 649 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:02,480 Myrna told me. 650 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:03,680 What? 651 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:05,200 - Myrna, how did... - I heard it from John. 652 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,880 - Well, how do you know, John? - It's common knowledge, isn't it? 653 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,800 No, it's not. I haven't told anyone. Have you? 654 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:10,760 No. 655 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,160 I heard the driver felt so sorry for you he let you have a go on the horn. 656 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:15,200 No, that's not true. 657 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,200 I heard a little girl gave you her comfort blanket. 658 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:20,000 - Well, that never happened. - I heard you were so fragile, 659 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,320 an old lady had to help you off the train. 660 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,000 That never happened, okay? 661 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,200 Look, can we just focus on the real issue here, which is... 662 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,200 what happened to him last night? 663 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,200 After I left Ben on the train, 664 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,480 I stole a car. 665 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,160 You stole a car? 666 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,520 I drove it to London, dumped it 667 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,360 and, with my cut of the money, I moved into a hotel. 668 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,600 I spent my time shopping. 669 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,440 - I got some tatts. - You said you were scared of needles. 670 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,960 I hit up some art galleries, went to some gigs. 671 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,520 Oh, did you see the virtual reality ABBA show? 672 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:54,680 No. 673 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,320 I think you missed out. I hear it's like they're in the room. 674 00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,520 Greg! 675 00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:59,800 Not appropriate. 676 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,280 I was just living my best life. 677 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:05,560 And last night, I met this guy and brought him back to my hotel room. 678 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,480 Wait! Wait. 679 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,560 You brought a guy that you just met back to your hotel? 680 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,760 Yeah, he was hot. 681 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,360 Oh... Oh, shit. 682 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,160 - Can you jump to the nitty-gritty? - I think she already did. 683 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,080 - The nitty-gritty of this! 684 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,920 Me and this guy worked up quite a thirst. 685 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,160 So I'm getting us a drink when there's a knock at the door. 686 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:43,920 Shhh! 687 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,200 Shhh! Shh-shh-shh. 688 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,800 Smiler says, "I know how you did it." 689 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:51,880 What? Did what? 690 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,440 "How you and your mates framed The Dean." 691 00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:00,080 He tells me to meet him later that night, gives me an address. 692 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,080 And I go there early and watch him go inside. 693 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:10,360 I follow him in and find him just lying on the floor. 694 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:14,560 I- I'm checking to see if he's conscious 695 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,920 and someone attacks me from behind. 696 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:27,400 And at some point, the attacker stabs Smiler with my knife. 697 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,280 Wait, wait, wait, wait! Your knife?! 698 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,400 Yeah, a steak knife. I brought it from the hotel. 699 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,840 To a meeting? 700 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:44,280 Oh, yeah, I never leave for a meeting without keys, phone, 701 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,440 murder weapon! 702 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,360 It was for self-defense! I didn't know what he was planning. 703 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,800 Okay, so this "mystery man" stabs Smiler. 704 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:52,880 Then what? 705 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,040 Then I knock him out. 706 00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,600 And I'm on my way out when Smiler calls out. 707 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,400 He's weak and he's wounded but he manages to say... 708 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:04,480 Help me! 709 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,640 I get him into his car and he's just... 710 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,880 Oh, man! - ...bleeding out in the back. 711 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,000 Like Tim Roth in Reservoir Dogs. 712 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,200 What's that? 713 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,320 You've never seen Reservoir Dogs and you missed ABBA Voyage? 714 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,600 - How are you living your best life? - Greg! 715 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,160 Smiler is directing me to this backstreet doctor he knows. 716 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,400 Which way? - Bear straight. 717 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,440 - Okay. - Oh, man! 718 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,360 And I'm just driving like a maniac. 719 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:35,360 Where am I going? 720 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:37,680 And then I look back... 721 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,200 and he's gone. 722 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,160 - Ooh! 723 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,160 Why's this door locked? 724 00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:58,440 Open this door! 725 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:08,560 What's going on? 726 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:10,760 What's going on in here? 727 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,480 Yeah. 728 00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:16,840 We're just consolidating... 729 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,960 the chicken feed. 730 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,680 But why is the door locked? 731 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:24,960 It's pigs. 732 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,640 They come in and... eat it. 733 00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,320 I've said it before and I'll say it again. 734 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,920 I see... 735 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:42,320 everything. 736 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:44,640 All right? 737 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,680 So less skiving in a shed, 738 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,640 more manure being spread. 739 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,120 Understand? 740 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:54,960 Good. 741 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,360 And get that hay put away. 742 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,520 Why did Rani have to bring the body here? 743 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,320 We were in the clear, now we're in Weekend At Bernie's. 744 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,680 What do you lot think of her story? 745 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,080 You think she's capable of making all that up? 746 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,640 I think she is capable of anything. 747 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:39,480 But why would she kill Smiler? 748 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:43,320 When she called me last night, she said she was "dealing with a loose end". 749 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,720 She killed Smiler because he knows what we did. 750 00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:49,040 So what are we saying? That Smiler's death was premeditated? 751 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,800 That Rani's a stone-cold psychopath now? 752 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,200 - Maybe she always was. - What do you mean? 753 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,920 One minute she's a shoplifter, the next minute she's running a drug empire. 754 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,280 She's threatened people with violence. She walked out on her family. 755 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:05,520 She walked out on you. To me, that is pretty cold behavior. 756 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,520 You know how you can tell if someone's a psychopath? 757 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:11,240 If everybody yawns but one person doesn't that indicates a lack of empathy, 758 00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:13,640 - which is the mark of a psychopath. - Who told you that? 759 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:14,760 Idris Elba. 760 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:18,360 In an episode of his hit show Luther. We're not mates. 761 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:19,520 I wish. 762 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,360 We need to get that body back in that car. 763 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,400 No. We just moved it from the car. 764 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,600 - Why did we do that? - Because Rani told us to! 765 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:30,920 Yes, but why? Why? She knows we can't keep it here. 766 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,640 She's trying to incriminate us. 767 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,800 She wants our DNA all over the body so we won't go to the police. 768 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,240 - Come on. - Come on. 769 00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:46,560 Do you know what the three P's of policing are? 770 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:49,400 - I feel like I do, yes. - Yeah, what are they? 771 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:50,480 - Police station. - No. 772 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,320 - Police dogs. Police car. - No. No. 773 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,520 Persistence, persistence, persistence. 774 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,280 That is genius. Did you make that up? 775 00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,360 - Definitely. - You should write a book. 776 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,280 Yeah. Already have. Self-published. 777 00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,680 It's about how I changed my life around from bad girl to badass. 778 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,600 - What's the title? -"My Struggle". 779 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:08,960 Isn't that what "Mein Kampf" means? 780 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,560 Yeah, but I don't speak German, so how was I supposed to know? 781 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,200 Diane. 782 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,800 Oh, DS Selforth. 783 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,080 Have you met my new gay underling Stanley? 784 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,480 - Stanley, this is Detective Sgt. Selforth. - Hi. 785 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,080 You're the first policeman I've met who's not a stripper. 786 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,320 Ooh! 787 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,880 Diane, I need to ask you a few questions. 788 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:28,360 Absolutely, sir. Head that way. 789 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,600 DS Selforth works with my best friend, Sergeant Lucy Haines. 790 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,600 She and I are a bit like Cagney and Lacey. 791 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,160 He's more like the original Cagney that was fired after season one. 792 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,360 - Mm. - Solid, just not the same chemistry. 793 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:42,720 Who are Cagney and Lacey? 794 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:46,000 I've got so much to teach you. 795 00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:59,080 What are you doing?! 796 00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,360 We're putting the body back in the car. 797 00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:06,320 No. No, no, no. No, no. I told you, you can't. The car is hot! 798 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:07,800 Well, it can't stay here! 799 00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,760 Come on. 800 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,640 Having discovered the plastic egg, I suspected that 801 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,560 illicit drug activities were happening at the Community Centre. 802 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:22,440 Sergeant Haines concurred with my findings and deputised me 803 00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:24,560 so that I was her eyes and ears. 804 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,120 She didn't have that authority. 805 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,880 Well, it was an unauthorised deputisation. 806 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:31,880 - But it still counts. - Slay. 807 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:33,880 During the day of the grand opening, 808 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,560 was there any point where your offenders went unsupervised? 809 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,160 No, sir. All day I was like a hawk, 810 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:43,000 crossed with an owl 'cause my head was turning 360 degrees. 811 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,920 It's actually a misconception that owl's heads can turn 360 degrees. 812 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:48,640 Who are you, David Attenborough? 813 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,960 You told Sergeant Haines that you never let the offenders out of your sight. 814 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,040 No, sir. 815 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,400 An ant did not wipe its arse without me knowing. 816 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:56,640 Brilliant. 817 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,120 You never took, say, a bathroom break? 818 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,280 - Who told you that? - Told me what? 819 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:04,320 Never mind. 820 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,000 Diane? 821 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,560 it's imperative that you're totally frank with me. 822 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,800 Fine. 823 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,920 I was approached by one of the offenders, Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe, 824 00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,560 - and she... - You supervise Lady Gabby? 825 00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:19,480 Oh, my God! I love her TikTok. 826 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,120 I mean, her tips on anal bleaching literally saved my life. 827 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:24,720 Yeah. 828 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:26,600 - She and me are like that. - Oh! 829 00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,400 But I do not fraternise with criminals. 830 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:32,200 - Although we are close. Mm. - Oh! 831 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,760 - Just so I can keep an eye on her. - The bathroom break? 832 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,360 Yeah, so Lady Gabby approached me 833 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:42,800 and informed that a temporary lavatory had been desecrated by vomit. 834 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:43,880 Er... 835 00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,440 But I soon discovered that it was in fact soup. 836 00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:52,560 Whereupon a malfunctioning door lock detained me inside briefly. 837 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,360 You got trapped in a Portaloo? 838 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:55,760 Briefly. 839 00:47:55,760 --> 00:48:00,080 After leaving the, er, Portaloo, I assume you did a head count? 840 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:02,400 Er, no. 841 00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:03,320 - No? - No. 842 00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,040 Have you ever tried maintaining law and order 843 00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,840 with minestrone sloshing around your gusset? 844 00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:08,400 Hmm? 845 00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:09,520 No, I have not. 846 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:10,920 Yeah, it ain't pretty. 847 00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,800 - I need to speak to your offenders. - I need to speak to the offenders. 848 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,920 Is "gusset" one S, two T's? 849 00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:17,400 Well, don't put that down! 850 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,960 - Hey, guys! Hello, Gabby. 851 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:40,120 Oh, Jesus Christ! 852 00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:41,760 Gather, gather, gather! 853 00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,320 Gabby, what the fuck are you doing here? 854 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,120 Well, I need some advice from my very dear friends. 855 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,960 Now, I had this message from a fan on Instagram. 856 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,200 She's a medical student and she's seen my posts about, you know, the polyps 857 00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:55,960 - that I had removed from my womb. - Uh. 858 00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:59,120 She said it's quite likely that the polyps will return. 859 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,840 So I went to the doctor this morning and it turns out 860 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:05,320 there's only a really small window in which my uterus can grow a fetus. 861 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,200 Like, eight weeks. 862 00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,440 Now, my doctor didn't tell me this, so what do I do? 863 00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,000 What are you asking us, Gabby? 864 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,440 - Well... Oi! 865 00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,880 - Why are you here? Diane! 866 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,680 Oh! Oh, my God! I love you! 867 00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,280 That's so sweet. - I can't believe that you're here. 868 00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:23,600 I mean, this is more exciting than when I saw Keira Knightley 869 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,400 in a Timpson's getting a key cut. Can I get a selfie? 870 00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,640 Er, no! Stanley, not appropriate. 871 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,520 You've already finished your hours. Go! 872 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:31,960 - I need to talk to her. - Uh, stay! 873 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,120 Right. 874 00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,840 When was the last time any of you saw Rani Rekowski? 875 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,160 - Who? - What's Rani? What? What's it? 876 00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,080 Ask him. Him and Rani lived together. 877 00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,040 Have you seen or spoken to her recently? 878 00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,200 No. Not for the past six months. 879 00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:46,600 She dumped him on a train. 880 00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,440 Is it true that the lady with a trolley gave you a free can of Boddington's? 881 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:50,600 - No! - Oh. 882 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,920 It was a hot chocolate and a flapjack. 883 00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,840 Wait! Rani dumped you on a train? 884 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,800 Guys, why am I always the last to hear about everything? 885 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,840 Why are asking about Rani? 886 00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,280 Police business. It's very important I find her. 887 00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:06,320 Gabby! 888 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:10,800 Erm... will you please tell us about your uterus, please? 889 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:14,040 - Well, I had these polyps removed. - Oh! She mentioned this on TikTok. 890 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,640 And basically, if I ever want to have a baby, 891 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,840 then I have to get pregnant in the next two months. 892 00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,280 - God! I knew those polyps were trouble. I know, right? 893 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,680 You know, I thought I'd have more time, to be honest. 894 00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:27,280 So, what do I do? Should I have a baby? 895 00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:29,200 - Yes! - You think I should? 896 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:30,880 - Yeah, defo have that baby. Definitely. 897 00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:32,600 I mean, you'd be an amazing mum 898 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,920 because lately you've really turned an emotional corner. 899 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:36,920 - Do you think so? - Just a bit! 900 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,000 Oh, good, 'cause I wasn't sure. 901 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,960 Because, you know, I'm barely six months sober. 902 00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:46,040 I'm in a brand-new relationship, and what kind of mother would I be? 903 00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,320 You know, my own mother killed herself. 904 00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,280 - Nice! - What?! 905 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,040 - Sorry. Is any of this useful, sir? - No. 906 00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,040 - You're dismissed. - Oh, but, Diane... 907 00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,160 - Hey! Do you want five more hours? - No. 908 00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:02,160 Everyone else, back to work. 909 00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,600 Good day, Diane. 910 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:11,640 Did you ever witness any private meetings between Sergeant Haines and Rani Rekowski? 911 00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,880 Negative, sir. Sir, what is this about? 912 00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:14,960 I can't say. 913 00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,200 You know, I'm a fully qualified PCSO now. I can help. 914 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:21,880 Yes, you can, by notifying me if you see or hear anything suspicious. 915 00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:24,760 - Are you unofficially deputising me, sir? - No. 916 00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,760 Oh, okay. I'm happy to surveil the offenders un-deputised. 917 00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:29,400 Ta-ra. 918 00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,760 Now you'll see how real police work is done. 919 00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,240 - By a real policeman. - No, by me. 920 00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:35,960 I can sniff out crime like... 921 00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,840 - Like puke in a Portaloo. - No, a bloodhound. 922 00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:42,440 And let me tell you, the stench of crime is in the air. 923 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,200 - And I'm like... - A big Febreze. 924 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:45,280 Yeah! 925 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,800 Hey! Make up your minds! 926 00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,280 Is that hay going in or out? 927 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:51,440 Going in! In, I think. 928 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:52,640 Right, come on then! 929 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,720 - Are you okay? 930 00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:56,040 They're useless, aren't they? 931 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,320 All this moving of bodies. 932 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,280 I'm exhausted. 933 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,000 Me too! 934 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,280 I am plum tuckered out. 935 00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:24,920 Oh, yeah! Your ex is a total psycho. 936 00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:26,000 Mmm. 937 00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:30,600 ♪ You better watch your step ♪ 938 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:31,840 Aargh! 939 00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:37,600 ♪ ...heart in two ♪ 940 00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:38,720 ♪ It's true ♪ 941 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,680 ♪ It's not hard to realise ♪ 942 00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:48,160 ♪ Just look into her false-coloured eyes ♪ 943 00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:53,600 ♪ She'll build you up to just put you down ♪ 944 00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,280 ♪ What a clown ♪ 945 00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:59,720 ♪ 'Cause everybody knows She's a femme fatale ♪ 946 00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:01,400 ♪ The things she does to me ♪ 947 00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:03,760 You bought a motorbike? 948 00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:04,840 Yeah. 949 00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:07,240 I don't like trains. 950 00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,280 Yeah! 951 00:53:23,720 --> 00:53:25,000 Shit! 952 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:32,720 I'm blooming as a flower. 953 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,160 I float through stress like petals in the wind. 954 00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,240 This ground's rock solid. We're never burying him here. 955 00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:40,880 Have you got a better idea? 956 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,000 Couldn't we feed him to some kind of animal? 957 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,760 Oh, yeah, very good. Let's just take him to the zoo, shall we? 958 00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:48,640 Throw him to the lions. I'll bring the kids. Make a day of it. 959 00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:51,760 I can't believe we're burying a body for a murderer! 960 00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:54,960 I can. Rani was right. We're all involved. 961 00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:58,040 Yeah, if the police find this body, they'll dig up everything we've done. 962 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,280 Wait! Aren't we supposed to cut off the hands and feet or something? 963 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,240 What? No! Do we? 964 00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:05,200 Hey, Google. How do you dispose of a corpse? 965 00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,080 - Don't say that into your phone! - No. 966 00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:09,920 Here, come on! Let's just get this hole dug! 967 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,960 - Yeah, and feel free to join in. - Oh, I can't dig. I did my back in. 968 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:15,800 How? 969 00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:16,920 Sex. 970 00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:18,880 With whom? 971 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,120 An old flame. 972 00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:21,920 Sean. 973 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,120 It was supposed to be our second date tonight. 974 00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:27,760 Oh, well, thanks for cancelling... so you could come down and do sod all. 975 00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,200 Speaking of relationships, 976 00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,360 I ran into your wife in a pub. 977 00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:36,960 I do let her out from time to time. 978 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,600 Yeah, but she said something really strange. She said, 979 00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,120 "Tell John I hope he's well." 980 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,800 Yeah, she can be quite formal, Ruth. 981 00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:47,800 Everything all right? 982 00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:49,040 Everything's great. 983 00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:50,880 - Are you sure? - Never surer. 984 00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:54,200 Hey, love. I haven't spoken to you since lunchtime. 985 00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:56,520 Just wondering what you had for din-dins. 986 00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:59,720 Ah, all right. Call me back. 987 00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:02,200 It's your boyfriend. 988 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:04,480 Greg. 989 00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:06,920 Dillard... 990 00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:12,960 What? 991 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,440 I'm sorry, mate. 992 00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,720 My gravedigging interrupting your love life? 993 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,840 So, where you gonna go after this? Back to your mom and dad's? 994 00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,320 No, I'm not going to drag them into this again. 995 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:33,400 No? 996 00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:35,040 Okay, er... 997 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:36,120 Hotel? 998 00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,440 No, I can't have my credit card showing up anywhere. 999 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,680 All right, so, so where? 1000 00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:47,520 - No. No. - Oh, come on. 1001 00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,000 - No, Rani, no. - Please! 1002 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,240 Just till I know no one's looking for me. Please! 1003 00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:58,680 Fine. 1004 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,000 I don't deserve you!