1 00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:04,265 . 2 00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:06,354 - ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪ 3 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,965 ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪ 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,532 ♪ We wish you-- 5 00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:13,013 ♪ 6 00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:15,972 Hello and Merry Christmas. 7 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,367 I am Dwanta Claus, and during this time of the year, 8 00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,847 I like to rip the sleeves off my jacket 9 00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,762 and put on a hat with a bell, 10 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,852 and I like to reflect back on family, friends, 11 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:31,944 and what makes this holiday so very special. 12 00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:34,077 I love Christmas 13 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,384 because it's all about the three G's, 14 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:41,606 gathering, giving, and getting loose on eggnog. 15 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,391 Now of course, when you're a little kid, 16 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:47,482 it's most about one thing: the toys. 17 00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:48,831 I've been talking a lot about 18 00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:50,659 all the money troubles we had in Hawaii, 19 00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:53,749 but Christmas 1983 was before all that, 20 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,230 when we were still riding high and I was about to learn 21 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,536 a very valuable lesson in gift-giving. 22 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,104 - What are these cartoon shoes on your feet? 23 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,584 - Nice, right? 24 00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:04,716 They're from the Jane Seymour for Mervyn's collection. 25 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,849 I can't get over these. I love them so much. 26 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,242 They're so soft. 27 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,200 Got them as a little Christmas gift to myself. 28 00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:14,117 - Speaking of Christmas gifts... 29 00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,163 as much as I love the Radish Baby 30 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,773 that you got me last year... 31 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,383 [dramatic musical sting] - [indistinct whispering] 32 00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,298 [echoing baby cry] 33 00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:23,909 - That doll is not right. 34 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,738 - We knew it wasn't exactly what I asked for, 35 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,175 which is fine. 36 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:32,179 But this year I made it very easy for you. 37 00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:33,789 Here's a page from the toy catalogue 38 00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:36,879 where I figured Skeletor, the action figure I want, 39 00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:38,054 so you know what it looks like. 40 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,360 - Why does he have muscles on his body 41 00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,057 but not on his face? 42 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,407 - Also, I called the store to make sure that it was in stock, 43 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:46,106 and they've put it aside on a 48-hour hold. 44 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:47,672 Here's a map, just in case. 45 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:50,980 - [laughs] Okay. Well, thank you, Dewey. 46 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,591 I will make sure to pass all this info along to Santa. 47 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,506 - [laughs] Sure. 48 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:56,594 - [laughs] 49 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,293 - But it's on hold under your name! 50 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,686 - You put a lot of thought into what gift you want. 51 00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:04,385 - Yeah, well, just between us, 52 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,430 I kind of hate that Radish Baby. 53 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,867 Don't want another disaster like that. 54 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,217 [dramatic musical sting] 55 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,002 Wait, where did he go? 56 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:15,222 [echoing baby cry] 57 00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,354 - I hope you put in the same amount of thought 58 00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:19,487 into the gift you get for your mom. 59 00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,489 - What? Adults give gifts to kids, 60 00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:22,664 not the other way around. 61 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,927 - I see. So you don't love your mother. 62 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,276 - That's not what I'm saying. 63 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,973 - Then why do you want to make her feel unloved? 64 00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,279 - I don't. 65 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:32,152 - Good, then you will get her a gift. 66 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:34,893 I'm glad you see it my way, son. 67 00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:41,857 ♪ 68 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:45,643 - I'm telling you, we need to be making our own baby oil. 69 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:46,992 That way we don't gotta keep buying it. 70 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,342 - Oh, no way, brother. 71 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,953 I do not wanna know how they get oil 72 00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:52,215 out of them babies. 73 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,956 Just saying. - Hey, Dad. 74 00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,479 - Dewey, what are you doing here? 75 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:56,785 - I need some advice. 76 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,395 I don't know what to get my mom for Christmas. 77 00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,831 - Join the club. - Dewey. 78 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,006 You wish to give the gifts this year, huh? 79 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,486 Not just receive them? 80 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,053 You are like a little Père Noel. 81 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,315 I'm going to get you a robe. 82 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:06,708 - You should get her a hot tub, a big one, 83 00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:07,839 you know, one that we can all fit in. 84 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,841 - I have a box of costume jewelry 85 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,496 from my great aunt Deb that I am looking to unload. 86 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,672 - No, she does not want any more jewelry. 87 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:18,328 Last year I got us matching diamond tennis bracelets. 88 00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:19,373 She said it was irresponsible... 89 00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,026 - Pfft. - Which is crazy. 90 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,551 These are an investment. 91 00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:25,770 Oh, shoot. 92 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:26,989 - Then I guess the hot tub wins. 93 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,164 - Oh, make sure it's a big one, 94 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,339 you know, one that we could all fit in. 95 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,123 - I don't think I can buy her a hot tub. 96 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,255 - Wish I could help you, Dewey, 97 00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,344 but your mom is very hard to shop for. 98 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,998 - There's gotta be something she'd like. 99 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:38,479 I wish there was a toy catalogue for adults. 100 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,785 It'd be so much easier if I could just see a bunch 101 00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:42,352 of gifts and choose one. 102 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:45,355 - Dewey, you just described a mall. 103 00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,836 - Oh, yeah, a mall. [André chuckles] 104 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,359 [bright music] 105 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,448 But the mall was a bust. 106 00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:53,755 I wasn't seeing anything I liked for my mom. 107 00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,626 However... 108 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,062 Oh, candy. 109 00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:59,282 No. Gotta stay focused. 110 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,283 I'm here for Mom. 111 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,632 - Ho, ho, ho, ho. 112 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,592 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. 113 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,289 - [sighs] 114 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,899 - Merry Christmas. 115 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,293 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. 116 00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,339 [laughs] Well, aren't you a little big 117 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,123 to sit on Santa's lap? 118 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,299 - Yeah, I'm not here for me. 119 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,780 I need to get a gift for my mom. 120 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:22,305 - Well, uh, what does your mom like? 121 00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:23,828 - Me. 122 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,352 - Anything else? 123 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:28,093 ["Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"] 124 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,966 - ♪ Hark! The Herald angels-- ♪ 125 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,141 - I got nothing. 126 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,926 - Look, kid, my honest opinion, 127 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,451 it doesn't really matter what the gift is. 128 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,149 What matters is how it makes the person feel. 129 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,238 Well, I'm sure your mom's gonna like anything 130 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:47,983 you give her, even if you just slap googly eyes on a coconut. 131 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,114 [rattling] 132 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,551 - Nice. 133 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,554 Might have overdone it with the glitter paint. 134 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,730 Gonna have to sun dry. 135 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:56,905 [laughs] 136 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,126 Ah! No! 137 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,128 [dramatic music] 138 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:07,002 [in slow motion] No! 139 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,527 No, no, no, no, no. 140 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:13,138 [keys jingling] 141 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,488 No! 142 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,930 - I'm home. 143 00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:25,325 - Hi, Mom. 144 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,196 - Were you doing crafts? - No! 145 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:30,155 I was just... organizing the craft supplies. 146 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,506 Someone put a glue stick inside of the Magic Marker tray. 147 00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:33,985 People are animals. 148 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,247 - What a great idea. 149 00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,640 Hey, if you're in the mood for organizing, 150 00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,468 the linen closet is a disaster. 151 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,383 - Yeah, I'll get on that later. 152 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,342 I have an errand to run for Grandma. 153 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,691 - What errand? 154 00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,475 [suspenseful music] 155 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,608 - Her--her mango shipment was late 156 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,000 so she asked me to go to the store and get her some. 157 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,350 Okay, bye. 158 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,829 Smooth, right? 159 00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:55,877 So now I had a Christmas disaster to clean up. 160 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,445 [sighs] 161 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:01,883 Yes, they're not sold-out. 162 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,580 $15? 163 00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:06,888 What are these made out of, gold doubloons? 164 00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,411 - Can I help you? 165 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:12,328 You look too young to be here, but too old to be lost. 166 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,286 - Um, I need to get these slippers, 167 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:17,420 but I can't afford them. 168 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,205 - Okay, well, come back when you can. 169 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:21,424 [laughs] Merry Christmas. 170 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,686 - Wait. 171 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:28,344 What if I gave you... 172 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:32,174 four dollars and... 173 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,872 this wallet? 174 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,570 - No, sorry. 175 00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:39,268 - Look, Brig-itty. 176 00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:40,400 - Brigitte. 177 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,750 - Bresheet. - No. 178 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:45,405 - I'm a businessman, and you're a businesswoman. 179 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,668 And as businesspeople, we can both agree 180 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,801 that $15 is way too much for a pair of slippers. 181 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,455 - [laughs] You're too young to know how embarrassing 182 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:55,502 this is for you, but this is a Mervyn's. 183 00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:56,459 We don't haggle. 184 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,548 [laughs] 185 00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:01,203 - I was gonna need a Christmas miracle. 186 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:05,337 . 187 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,818 - I failed to get my mom new slippers, 188 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,820 and my frustrations were at an all-time high. 189 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,474 Hey! 190 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:15,217 One of your colleagues gave me some very bad advice earlier. 191 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,393 He said my mom would be happy with anything, 192 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,222 so I made her a stupid coconut with googly eyes, 193 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,051 and then I dropped it on her Jane Seymour slippers. 194 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,879 But I can't replace them 195 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,924 because Mervyn's doesn't haggle. 196 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,013 So now her entire Christmas is ruined, 197 00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:32,277 and she's literally a Christmas angel. 198 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:36,499 - Maybe you should ask Santa to bring you some slippers. 199 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,109 Ho, ho, ho. [laughs] - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 200 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:40,808 Enjoy your orange chicken. - [chuckles] 201 00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,766 - My time had run out. 202 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,465 It was Christmas morning and I got my Skeletor, 203 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:48,076 which made me feel even worse about the slippers. 204 00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,947 - Back to socks like the rest of us. 205 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,514 What happened to your poodle shoes? 206 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,037 - Can't find them. 207 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,083 I'm hoping they're buried somewhere in the linen closet. 208 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,738 - Last gift and it's for you. 209 00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:59,087 - But you already gave me my gift, 210 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,568 this, uh, lovely umbrella hat. 211 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,092 - So my baby will always have some shade. 212 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,833 - Ah. [laughs] - But this one's not from me. 213 00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:07,312 It's from Dewey. 214 00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:08,705 - It is? 215 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,403 - Oh, Dewey, you didn't have to get me anything. 216 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,580 That's so sweet. 217 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,495 Aww. 218 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:16,713 - What is it? 219 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:19,063 - It's a little coconut with googly eyes. 220 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,283 Look at his little hat. 221 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:25,287 Dewey, I love it so much. 222 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:28,333 - God damn, I could've just been making coconuts. 223 00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,292 - Okay, let's eat breakfast. 224 00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:33,774 Mr. Coconut gets a special place on the table. 225 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,993 - Good job, Dewey. 226 00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:42,652 [soft mysterious music] 227 00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:49,572 ♪ 228 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,665 - The slippers. 229 00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:59,147 ♪ 230 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,628 Mom, I found your slippers. 231 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,064 So to this very day... - Oh! 232 00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,632 - I don't know if that was Santa Claus or not, 233 00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:09,157 but I do know that I am a believer in Christmas magic 234 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,507 and the gift of giving. 235 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,640 Now that Christmas in Hawaii was the first time 236 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:16,947 I ever experienced the joy of giving a gift. 237 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,340 And from then on, 238 00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:23,301 I was absolutely obsessed with it. 239 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,826 The coconut with googly eyes became a tradition 240 00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,392 for me and my mom. 241 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,177 I still make her one every year. 242 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,440 - Hey, can that one be from both of us? 243 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,181 I have no idea what to get her. 244 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:36,445 - Sorry, Dad. These coconuts are all mine. 245 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,665 - Dewey, I need you to come to work with me today. 246 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,492 - Why? 247 00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:41,798 - My client Suzanne is hosting a big Christmas party tonight. 248 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,321 I need extra help with, you know, cleaning, 249 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,758 getting everything set up for her. 250 00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,977 - Hey, at least you don't have to go to the party. 251 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,588 Probably boring as hell. 252 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,590 Don't include me in your conversation. 253 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,635 No, I don't ski. 254 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,463 - We're going to the party as well, you too. 255 00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,638 - I love how you just assume 256 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,074 that I have nothing to do all day 257 00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:59,381 and free to come to work with you and go to a party. 258 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:02,123 - Do you have something to do today? 259 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,385 - No. 260 00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:06,388 [mellow holiday music] 261 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,303 Bathrooms are all cleaned and stocked 262 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:09,826 with Christmas tree hand soaps. - [chuckles] 263 00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,959 - Which I'm pretty sure permanently stained my hands. 264 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,700 - [gasps] Oh. [door closes] 265 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:15,049 - How's everything going? 266 00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:17,660 - We're all done. - Oh, good. 267 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,009 Well, before you go, 268 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,663 I just wanted to give you a little something. 269 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,447 - Damn, that's not a little anything. 270 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,275 - Oh, you didn't have to give us a gift. 271 00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,929 - I just wanted to thank you for all your hard work 272 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:27,235 this year. 273 00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:28,584 Go ahead. Open it. 274 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:38,202 - Oh! Oh, wow, an ice cream maker. 275 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,291 Oh, this is so nice. Thank you so much. 276 00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:41,728 - Yeah, thanks. 277 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:44,382 We got you something too, uh, just left it at home. 278 00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:45,949 We'll bring it to the party. - Mm-hmm. 279 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,821 - Aw, you got me a present? 280 00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:48,865 That is so sweet. 281 00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,258 I love presents. 282 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,738 See you tonight? 283 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,263 - We didn't get her a present. 284 00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,744 - We'll figure something out. 285 00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,616 That started my next lesson in gift-giving. 286 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,618 As a teenager, I thought it was pretty simple. 287 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,533 You get a gift, and you give a gift. 288 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,796 But it's not always that cut and dry. 289 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,320 - He's unable to get up now. A nice-- 290 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:10,713 - Rocky, get up. 291 00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:11,888 We need to go to the mall and get Suzanne a gift. 292 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,368 - A gift? 293 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,675 But she's your boss. You don't gift up. 294 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,502 Did I ever get a gift for Vince? 295 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,026 - You never got a gift for Vince? 296 00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:22,159 - The man owns a T. rex skull. The hell can I buy him? 297 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,291 - Dewey promised Suzanne a gift, 298 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,596 so now we have to get her a gift, 299 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,989 and it needs to be something as nice 300 00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,817 as this beautiful ice cream maker. 301 00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,471 ♪ 302 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,342 Come on. The party's in a couple hours. 303 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,301 ♪ 304 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:34,868 - [growls] 305 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:37,174 . 306 00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:40,612 - Okay, we need a nice gift that costs almost nothing. 307 00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,919 - Our prayers have been answered. 308 00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:45,748 - You wanna enter a radio contest for an ATV? 309 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,750 - It's free, ain't it? 310 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,273 - I say we just go to Le Chic Boutique 311 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,014 and buy the least expensive thing we can find. 312 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:52,842 We can get the store to wrap it so it looks fancy. 313 00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:54,061 - Sounds like a plan. - Come on, Rocky. 314 00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,106 - And go! [air horn blasts] 315 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,718 - Rocky. 316 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,502 - Oh, trust me. I can win this thing. 317 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:03,505 - [sighs] We'll see you at home. 318 00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:04,593 - Fans of wrestling, anyone? 319 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,334 - Eh, mm. 320 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,771 ♪ 321 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:12,470 - Ooh, so graceful. 322 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,429 $300? 323 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,778 What, does it grant wishes? 324 00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,301 - This is the cheapest thing I could find. 325 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,042 - [sighs] 326 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,262 "You wash... I'll die." 327 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:22,916 - Instead of "I'll dry." 328 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:24,787 [laughs] - This is no use. 329 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,311 Everything in here is too expensive. 330 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,139 - You know, I could... 331 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,358 - What? 332 00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:31,489 - [whispering] I could get us something 333 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:32,577 without paying for it. 334 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:34,275 - How? Do you have a coupon? 335 00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:37,104 - No. I mean... 336 00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:39,628 - Stealing? 337 00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:40,803 At Christmastime? 338 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,327 - Certainly not anymore. 339 00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,807 Should probably pay for this. They're definitely gonna think 340 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:45,808 we stole something. 341 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,549 - [sighs] 342 00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:49,681 Well, at least it's cheap. 343 00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:50,857 [gasps] 344 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,162 - What? - I know what her gift can be. 345 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,686 We can make ice cream for Suzanne. 346 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,384 There's no better feeling than knowing 347 00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,299 that someone really appreciates the gift you give them, right? 348 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,170 - That's what that gasp was for? 349 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,303 I thought you saw a rat. - [groans] 350 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,653 There's so many parts to assemble. 351 00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:07,787 First it says we need the driver ring? 352 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:08,875 [pieces clattering] 353 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,703 - Wait, this is open? - Yeah. 354 00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:12,704 And what's this on the manual? 355 00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:15,098 Is this red wine? 356 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,796 Suzanne must have used this. 357 00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,145 - This is a regift? 358 00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,668 She didn't put any thought into this. 359 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:22,192 But all she did was wrap up something she didn't want. 360 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:25,065 That's not even a gift. That's decorated trash. 361 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,110 [mysterious holiday music] 362 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,852 - And that's exactly what we're gonna give her. 363 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,201 - Two contestants left. 364 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:34,204 Who's gonna win? - Aw, you gotta tinkle winkle? 365 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,815 There's a bathroom right over there. 366 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,339 [laughs] 367 00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:39,296 - Whoa! - Ah. 368 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,863 - Rocky Johnson! 369 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,734 Can I get your autograph? - Hell yeah. 370 00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:43,779 - We have a winner! 371 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,695 [air horn blows] [applause] 372 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,566 - Aw, man! 373 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,786 [sighs] Price of fame. 374 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,744 Come on. 375 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,094 [doorbell rings] 376 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:56,966 - Hi! - You made it. 377 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,141 - We did. [laughs] 378 00:13:58,185 --> 00:13:59,360 Merry Christmas. - [laughing] Oh. 379 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,753 You didn't have to get me anything. 380 00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:03,407 Oh. 381 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,496 Oh. 382 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:08,717 Uh...I don't wash dishes. 383 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,893 - Well, maybe you could spill some red wine on it 384 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,112 and give it to someone else. 385 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:13,417 [laughs] 386 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:14,941 - Oh. 387 00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,291 Thank you. Come in, come in. 388 00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,423 Is your husband coming? - Oh, he had to work late. 389 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:21,425 - Oh. 390 00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,558 - I never forgot that negative experience 391 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,908 with my mom's rich boss. 392 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,431 So when I got to the point in my life 393 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:30,870 where I had a little more than 7 bucks in my pocket, 394 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:34,525 I wanted to share it and try to give people the best gifts 395 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,136 they ever got. 396 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,529 Like I remember this one Christmas 397 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,705 at Mick Foley's house. 398 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,447 Now there's one thing you should know about Mick. 399 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:44,971 He loves Christmas. 400 00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,929 - God, I love Christmas. 401 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,540 - Every year he would host a Christmas party for the guys 402 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,847 and we would all do our Secret Santa. 403 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,024 - All right, time for Secret Santa. 404 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,678 Dwayne, since this is your first time 405 00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:59,681 at my Christmas soirée, you get to open first. 406 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:01,291 Welcome, brother. - Thanks, Mick. 407 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,337 - Oh, it's not from me. It's from your Secret Santa. 408 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,729 - Oh, okay. 409 00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,818 [inhales deeply] 410 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:09,821 Oh, wow. Nice. 411 00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,606 My dad used to have one just like it. 412 00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:13,303 Who was this from? - Me. 413 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,784 I almost got it engraved to say "Never shuts up"... 414 00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,742 But it's Christmas. [laughter] 415 00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:18,787 - Thank you. 416 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,137 - This one's for... 417 00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:23,661 [gasps] Me. [laughs] 418 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,012 - When I drew Mick's name for Secret Santa, 419 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,578 I knew I had to go all-out, 420 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,711 so I got him an incredible gift. 421 00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,975 - Wow. This is... [Dwayne chuckles] 422 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,324 What am I looking at here? 423 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,457 - Well, the coconut is a family tradition. 424 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,546 I make one for my mom every year. 425 00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:40,548 It used to be he was the only gift, 426 00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:43,551 but now he brings other gifts with him. 427 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:44,726 And he's brought you 428 00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,946 an all-inclusive first-class trip 429 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,121 to the Bahamas. 430 00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:49,949 You and your family leave tomorrow 431 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,211 for the weekend. [people murmuring] 432 00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:52,864 Merry Christmas! [laughs] 433 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:55,693 Or at least I thought it was an incredible gift. 434 00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,913 Turns out I had another lesson to learn. 435 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,916 - Wow, that's very generous. Thank you. 436 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,964 All right, who's next? 437 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,488 - Not quite the reaction I was expecting. 438 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:09,794 . 439 00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:11,622 - Hey, do you guys think it was weird, 440 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:12,580 Mick's reaction to my gift? 441 00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,060 It seemed like he didn't like it. 442 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,626 - I mean, he said thank you. 443 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,193 What more could you ask for, right? 444 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:19,587 [people chattering] 445 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,546 - Ho, ho, ho, ho! - Hey, Santa. 446 00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,896 - Hey. Excited for your trip? 447 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,856 This time tomorrow, you'll be sitting by the pool. 448 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,858 Actually, this time tomorrow you'll be on your layover 449 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:32,339 in Charlotte, but it's a nice airport. 450 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,254 - Yeah, um, listen, man. 451 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,864 I'm sorry, but I can't go. 452 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,562 It's just I've a thing tomorrow I can't miss. 453 00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:41,043 But I love the coconut. - Oh, my bad. 454 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:44,090 I, uh--I thought since we had the next few days off work 455 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,962 you'd be okay to travel on the weekend. 456 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,051 - Wish I could, but hey, why don't you go? 457 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:52,185 Have some fun in the sun? - [laughs] 458 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,883 I felt like I had ruined Christmas for Mick. 459 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,364 A bad gift is worse than no gift at all, 460 00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,541 so I was determined to get him something better. 461 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:03,109 Hey, it turns out Mick can't make the trip. 462 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,720 So how 'bout you trade me your Secret Santa gift, 463 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,591 I'll give it to Mick, and you can go to the Bahamas. 464 00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:09,419 - Ah, I don't know, man. 465 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,725 You know, I'm just not a huge fan 466 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,205 of flying over water. 467 00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:14,207 - ♪ Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la ♪ 468 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,644 ♪ La-la-la-la-la 469 00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,472 - Hey, Undertaker, 470 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,909 wanna trade me that-- - No. 471 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,258 - Hey, big head. 472 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,347 - Triple H. - I'll trade you. 473 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,957 I'm not a robe guy. 474 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,525 Thanks to my father who could never find the belt for his. 475 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:30,049 - Okay. 476 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,399 [upbeat music] 477 00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,053 Hey, Mick. 478 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,750 Merry Christmas. 479 00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,447 - Is this for me? You already got me a gift. 480 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:38,579 - Yeah, but I traded it. 481 00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,102 I'm sorry, man. 482 00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:42,191 I know how much you love Christmas, 483 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,063 and I ruined your Secret Santa. 484 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:47,327 I just wanted to get you something great. 485 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:50,025 - Hey, come with me. I wanna show you something. 486 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,418 - Okay. 487 00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,203 - You know how in matches I fall onto thumbtacks? 488 00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:55,422 - Of course. 489 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:56,858 You're the most hardcore out of all of us. 490 00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:59,556 - Well, this is every tack 491 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,950 I've ever pulled out of my back after a match, 492 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:05,606 fused together to form a life-sized Tori Amos. 493 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,217 - Wow, I got a lot of questions about this. 494 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,350 - I had it made as a reminder of how far I'm willing to go 495 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:11,916 to give a good show. 496 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,267 And as a reminder of how much I love Tori Amos. 497 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,616 - Has Tori seen this? 498 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:16,921 And if so, is she flattered 499 00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,836 or is this a restraining order situation? 500 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,230 - I love that feeling, man, 501 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:24,146 knowing that you gave it absolutely everything you had 502 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,801 and hearing how the crowd loves it. 503 00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:28,890 Giving is what makes me the happiest. 504 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,631 I don't even like receiving gifts. 505 00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,894 - Oh, I get that. I mean, I'm only wearing this 506 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,983 because I don't wanna hurt Stone Cold's feelings. 507 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,637 - Yeah, giving gifts to adults 508 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,639 who can buy whatever they want, it's no fun. 509 00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:40,423 You're just swapping stuff. 510 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,948 That's why I drop toys off at this youth center every year. 511 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:46,473 That's a real Christmas gift, 512 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,909 donating your time and resources 513 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:50,564 to help people less fortunate. 514 00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,392 I love putting on a show for those kids, 515 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,394 seeing their faces light up. 516 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:57,005 - And I thought André the Giant was Christmas personified. 517 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,093 - Oh, ho, ho. 518 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,181 - You give him a run for his money. 519 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,617 - [laughing] Wow. 520 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,793 - But you know what? That toy drive sounds awesome. 521 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,230 I'd love to come with. 522 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,667 - I'd love your help with it, but you can't come. 523 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,191 Heels can't do charity events for kids. 524 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,062 - [sighs] - Good guys only. 525 00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,673 - Right. 526 00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:15,023 But do you know what would make for a good show? 527 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,242 - Huh? 528 00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,896 You kids must've been real good this year 529 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,856 'cause the big guy sent lots of presents! 530 00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,292 [cheers and applause] Yay! 531 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:25,642 - There was one heel that could be at the event. 532 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,470 - Well, well, well. 533 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:28,776 [kids whispering] 534 00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,430 What do we have here? 535 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:31,953 The ultimate heel. 536 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:34,216 - Oh, no! It's the Grinch! 537 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,219 [all booing] 538 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,047 - You better get out of here, Grinch, 539 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,528 before Stone Cold sticks his mistletoe 540 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,051 right up your chimney. 541 00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:46,054 - I'm stealing all the toys I can find 542 00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:50,493 and giving the People's Elbow to every Santa I see. 543 00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,887 [kids screaming] 544 00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:55,237 - The only thing you're getting, Grinch, 545 00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:56,543 is a whuppin'! 546 00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:58,197 - Yeah? [both grunting] 547 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,589 [kids cheering] 548 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:00,764 [Stevie Wonder's "What Christmas Means to Me"] 549 00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,636 - ♪ Lots of mistletoe 550 00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,072 - [groans] 551 00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,987 - ♪ Lots of snow and ice - Ooh! 552 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:06,901 Ah! 553 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,250 - ♪ Everywhere we go 554 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:09,251 - Merry Christmas, Mick. 555 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:11,122 - Back at you, buddy. 556 00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,472 [kids cheering] 557 00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:15,126 - And so it turns out the best gift advice 558 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,912 I ever got was from that mall Santa 559 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:20,915 all those years ago in Hawaii. 560 00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:23,091 It's not about what the gift is. 561 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:25,833 It's about how it makes the person feel. 562 00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:27,748 Whether they're a fancy gift, 563 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,010 or a homemade gift, 564 00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:31,055 or even just a simple gesture, 565 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:34,363 gifts are my love language. 566 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,539 [soft Christmas music] 567 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,019 This one's a pepper mill 568 00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:40,587 for my good friend, Stanley Tucci. 569 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,153 Merry Christmas, Tooch. 570 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:48,159 [exhales] Well, I really enjoyed spending this time 571 00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:49,378 with you all. 572 00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,380 And don't forget on Christmas Eve 573 00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:54,383 to leave out some tequila, some sandwiches, 574 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:57,778 and some cookies for old Dwanta Claus here. 575 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,781 But hold the sandwiches, and hold the cookies. 576 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:01,869 That's right. 577 00:21:01,912 --> 00:21:04,045 Dwanta's gettin' loaded. 578 00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:06,003 [laughs] Good night, everyone. 579 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:09,398 Merry Christmas, Mele Kalikimaka, 580 00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:13,663 and happy holidays to you and your families. 581 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,143 [blows kiss] 582 00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:16,971 ♪ 583 00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:18,407 And for all the little kids out there 584 00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,843 that might wanna get their parents 585 00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:23,717 the perfect gift, don't worry. 586 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,720 They'll love it no matter what.