1 00:00:06,897 --> 00:00:12,946 ♪ 2 00:00:12,990 --> 00:00:15,036 - Good afternoon. I'm Randall Park, 3 00:00:15,079 --> 00:00:16,733 live at the campaign headquarters 4 00:00:16,776 --> 00:00:19,388 of presidential candidate Dwayne Johnson. 5 00:00:19,431 --> 00:00:21,259 - Randall, it's good to have you here, buddy. 6 00:00:21,303 --> 00:00:23,348 - Well, it's all my "plejure." Pleasure. 7 00:00:23,392 --> 00:00:26,090 Did I say "plejure"? 8 00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:28,310 Uh, yeah, can we do that over? 9 00:00:28,353 --> 00:00:29,398 I just needed a second to warm up. 10 00:00:29,441 --> 00:00:31,617 - Mm-hmm, we're live. 11 00:00:31,661 --> 00:00:34,098 - Oh. 12 00:00:34,142 --> 00:00:37,188 Yes, of course, we are live. 13 00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:40,670 It's been a while since my live theater days, 14 00:00:40,713 --> 00:00:42,715 since I played Mercutio in "Romeo and Juliet." 15 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:45,805 - "True, I talk of dreams, which are the children 16 00:00:45,849 --> 00:00:47,459 "of an idle brain, 17 00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:51,768 begot of nothing but vain fantasy." 18 00:00:53,465 --> 00:00:56,381 - Yes, yes. "And thusly the night." 19 00:00:56,425 --> 00:00:59,297 I had the skull, and I was like, 20 00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:01,430 "Uh, you're a skull." 21 00:01:01,473 --> 00:01:03,562 - We're live. - We're--we're live. 22 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,347 - We're still live. - Ye--oh, yes. 23 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,739 We are still live. That's right. 24 00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:09,090 So we've heard rumblings that you're close 25 00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:10,439 to choosing your VP. 26 00:01:10,482 --> 00:01:12,310 - We're very excited to make that announcement. 27 00:01:12,354 --> 00:01:13,877 Pretty soon we're gonna tell America. 28 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,487 - So what are the important qualities 29 00:01:15,531 --> 00:01:17,750 that you're looking for in a running mate? 30 00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:20,275 - Do you remember that story I told you about the incident? 31 00:01:20,318 --> 00:01:22,146 - The one with Jack Black and the cows. 32 00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:23,713 Can't get it out of my mind. 33 00:01:23,756 --> 00:01:25,323 - Not that one, although that's a great story. 34 00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:26,977 I'm talking about the one where I punched that kid 35 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,413 in high school. - Yes. 36 00:01:28,457 --> 00:01:31,373 - I will never forget it. I was 15 years old, 37 00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:33,592 and clearly I was no angel. 38 00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:36,552 But up until that time, I'd always kept my bad behavior 39 00:01:36,595 --> 00:01:39,294 away from my parents. Not this time. 40 00:01:39,337 --> 00:01:41,383 My dad was away at a wrestling convention, 41 00:01:41,426 --> 00:01:43,298 and my mom found out. 42 00:01:43,341 --> 00:01:46,953 - Keep those knees up, Jazzers! - ♪ Everyone's watching 43 00:01:46,997 --> 00:01:49,434 Ata, I can't believe this is your first class. 44 00:01:49,478 --> 00:01:52,350 You're a natural. - ♪ To see what you will do 45 00:01:52,394 --> 00:01:54,613 - I'm dying. - ♪ Everyone's trying 46 00:01:54,657 --> 00:01:59,052 ♪ To get it right, get it right ♪ 47 00:01:59,096 --> 00:02:02,708 ♪ Everybody's working for the weekend ♪ 48 00:02:04,101 --> 00:02:05,668 - Principal Bogg, I'm shocked. 49 00:02:05,711 --> 00:02:08,061 Dewey has never done anything like this in his life. 50 00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:09,150 He's a good boy. 51 00:02:09,193 --> 00:02:11,456 - No one is more shocked than me. 52 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,806 I thought for sure Dwayne was an undercover cop. 53 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:16,940 I was this close to asking him to an Eagles game. 54 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:19,160 - So what exactly happened? 55 00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:20,204 - I was provoked. 56 00:02:20,248 --> 00:02:22,554 - Wrestling's all fake anyway. 57 00:02:22,598 --> 00:02:24,817 - - Oh! 58 00:02:24,861 --> 00:02:27,298 - Never use the "F" word. 59 00:02:27,342 --> 00:02:28,778 - Well, that's one side of the story. 60 00:02:28,821 --> 00:02:31,737 Normally, we'd get the other side from the boy he hit, 61 00:02:31,781 --> 00:02:33,217 but he was rushed to the hospital. 62 00:02:33,261 --> 00:02:34,740 - Oh, my God! - Well, not rushed. 63 00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:37,003 He was taken at a comfortable speed. 64 00:02:37,047 --> 00:02:39,658 Sort of a relaxed urgency, wouldn't you say, Helen? 65 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:41,965 - I'd say more composed than relaxed. 66 00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:44,533 - Composed urgency. - Are you sure it was Dewey? 67 00:02:44,576 --> 00:02:46,317 - The victim ID'd him. 68 00:02:46,361 --> 00:02:49,625 Is your attacker in this lineup? 69 00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:50,756 - That one. 70 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,193 The ogre. 71 00:02:52,236 --> 00:02:53,716 - You know we can hear you, right? 72 00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:56,545 I guess we can just call people ogres now. 73 00:02:56,588 --> 00:03:00,201 - I'm afraid I'm gonna have to suspend Dwayne for a week. 74 00:03:00,244 --> 00:03:01,593 - I can assure you, 75 00:03:01,637 --> 00:03:04,030 nothing like this will ever happen again. 76 00:03:04,074 --> 00:03:05,641 Right, Dewey? 77 00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:07,730 Where'd you get those pants? 78 00:03:07,773 --> 00:03:09,210 - Uh... 79 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,217 In P.E. class. 80 00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:17,522 We had a push-up contest, 81 00:03:17,566 --> 00:03:19,176 and the winner got Girbaud jeans. 82 00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:22,440 - Specifically that pair or did you have to give your size? 83 00:03:22,484 --> 00:03:24,703 You know what, forget it. I don't have the energy. 84 00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:27,750 Get your homework for the week. I'll be outside. 85 00:03:27,793 --> 00:03:29,795 Oh, my legs. 86 00:03:31,449 --> 00:03:33,756 - Dude, this is a huge moment for you. 87 00:03:33,799 --> 00:03:35,236 What do you mean? 88 00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:36,889 - Fine-Ass Karen liked that you punched Kevin, man. 89 00:03:36,933 --> 00:03:39,240 Said it made her feel like Cherry from "Outsiders." 90 00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:40,371 - For real? Like, she told you that? 91 00:03:40,415 --> 00:03:41,981 - Well, not exactly. 92 00:03:42,025 --> 00:03:43,635 Karen wrote a note that she gave to Bonnie, 93 00:03:43,679 --> 00:03:45,637 and Bonnie gave that note to me to give to you, 94 00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:47,160 and as you know, I'm a Curious George, 95 00:03:47,204 --> 00:03:49,859 so I read it immediately before handing it to you... 96 00:03:49,902 --> 00:03:52,470 right now. 97 00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:53,732 "That punch was hot. 98 00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:55,386 "If you want, you can buy me a present 99 00:03:55,430 --> 00:03:56,431 "and take me to dinner. 100 00:03:56,474 --> 00:03:57,997 "OO. Those are just the hugs. 101 00:03:58,041 --> 00:03:59,999 "If you want the XX Kisses, 102 00:04:00,043 --> 00:04:01,087 "let's see that gift. 103 00:04:01,131 --> 00:04:03,307 Karen." 104 00:04:03,351 --> 00:04:04,613 I memorized it. 105 00:04:04,656 --> 00:04:05,962 - She thinks I'm rich, 106 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:08,138 so I gotta get her a dope present. 107 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,835 Come with me to the mall later, help me find one? 108 00:04:09,879 --> 00:04:11,359 - Okay, sure. Where do you wanna meet? 109 00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:12,882 - Zales. - Obviously Zales. 110 00:04:12,925 --> 00:04:14,492 I don't even know what I said that. 111 00:04:14,536 --> 00:04:17,103 - Dewey, let's go! We're gonna miss the bus! 112 00:04:17,147 --> 00:04:19,758 - Dewey, the bus. 113 00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:26,156 - I can't believe this. 114 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,636 Wait till I tell your father when he gets home. 115 00:04:27,679 --> 00:04:29,072 - Did you have to broadcast to the whole school 116 00:04:29,115 --> 00:04:30,334 that we take the bus? 117 00:04:30,378 --> 00:04:31,727 - You just got suspended, 118 00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,294 and that's what you're concerned about? 119 00:04:33,337 --> 00:04:35,165 Everybody on here is taking the bus. 120 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,994 That guy's probably a lawyer. 121 00:04:38,037 --> 00:04:40,866 - Sorry. Are you talking to me? 122 00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:43,391 - No. Uh... 123 00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:44,566 No. 124 00:04:47,395 --> 00:04:49,048 Let's focus on the real issue here. 125 00:04:49,092 --> 00:04:50,354 Why did you hit that boy? 126 00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:51,964 - He was talking trash about us. 127 00:04:52,008 --> 00:04:53,836 He said that wrestling was fake, so I punched him. 128 00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:55,577 - That is not okay. 129 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,361 You've never done anything like this before. 130 00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:59,276 - Can we not talk about this in front of all these people? 131 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,365 - No one is listening to our conversation. 132 00:05:01,409 --> 00:05:04,934 - Uh, actually, I am listening. 133 00:05:04,977 --> 00:05:08,198 - I went through something similar with my oldest. 134 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,504 - Okay, too much bus for me. 135 00:05:09,547 --> 00:05:11,157 - What are you doing? 136 00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:12,681 This isn't our stop. 137 00:05:12,724 --> 00:05:14,596 - I'm gonna go to the mall, wait for Gabe. 138 00:05:14,639 --> 00:05:16,598 - You certainly are not. You just got suspended. 139 00:05:16,641 --> 00:05:18,295 - Exactly. I can't be at school. 140 00:05:18,339 --> 00:05:19,688 So what does it matter where I am? 141 00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:21,864 - Dewey. 142 00:05:23,953 --> 00:05:26,129 - Whoo! The party's here. 143 00:05:35,573 --> 00:05:37,270 - Hello, Ata. 144 00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:39,403 - How'd you know it was me? - Caller ID. 145 00:05:39,447 --> 00:05:41,144 I just got a whole new phone system hooked up. 146 00:05:41,187 --> 00:05:42,711 - I'm trying to find Rocky. 147 00:05:42,754 --> 00:05:44,843 He left this morning to work a wrestling convention in Erie 148 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,279 and didn't know where he was staying. 149 00:05:46,323 --> 00:05:47,716 - Is everything okay? 150 00:05:47,759 --> 00:05:49,326 - Dewey got suspended for fighting. 151 00:05:49,370 --> 00:05:51,067 - - I know. 152 00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:52,416 And then when I was taking him home, 153 00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:53,548 he got off the bus to go to the mall. 154 00:05:53,591 --> 00:05:54,766 - To buy you an apology gift? 155 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,638 - To hang out with his friend Gabe. 156 00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:58,857 - Gabe? I've never met a Gabe in my life. 157 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,337 - That's why I want to talk to Rocky. 158 00:06:00,381 --> 00:06:01,556 Dewey's such a sweet boy. 159 00:06:01,599 --> 00:06:03,209 He's never acted out like this before. 160 00:06:03,253 --> 00:06:04,776 - The Wild Samoans will know where he is. 161 00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:06,299 Here, I'll loop them in. 162 00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:08,563 I just got three-way calling. Watch. 163 00:06:11,566 --> 00:06:13,132 - Hello. 164 00:06:13,176 --> 00:06:14,438 - Hey, man, it's me and Ata. 165 00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:16,135 You know where Rocky is out there in Erie? 166 00:06:16,179 --> 00:06:18,355 - No, brother, but Macho Man might know. 167 00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:22,098 Sika, can we add a three-way call to a three-way call? 168 00:06:26,494 --> 00:06:27,930 - Yes. 169 00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:29,627 - Ooh, no, sorry. 170 00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:32,500 I'm actually on vacation parasailing with Elizabeth. 171 00:06:32,543 --> 00:06:35,154 You know what though, let me try André, yeah. 172 00:06:35,198 --> 00:06:36,808 - I saw Rocky last night. - Oh? 173 00:06:36,852 --> 00:06:37,983 - In a dream. 174 00:06:38,027 --> 00:06:39,681 He was a baby. 175 00:06:39,724 --> 00:06:41,422 - Okay, I really need to talk to him. 176 00:06:41,465 --> 00:06:43,249 - Ata, I don't want to put words in Rocky's mouth, 177 00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:45,034 but I think I know what he'd say. 178 00:06:45,077 --> 00:06:46,470 Boys test boundaries, 179 00:06:46,514 --> 00:06:47,776 and you've got to show him that it's not okay. 180 00:06:47,819 --> 00:06:49,386 - I agree. 181 00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:51,475 You need to bring the hammer down and nip this in the bud. 182 00:06:51,519 --> 00:06:53,303 - - Yeah, you got this, Ata. 183 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:55,261 You're the boss. Ohh, yeah! 184 00:06:55,305 --> 00:06:57,263 Dig it, yeah! - You are a lioness. 185 00:06:57,307 --> 00:06:59,135 Let me hear you roar. 186 00:06:59,178 --> 00:07:01,311 - Oh, I've got another call. 187 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,879 - Hey, it's Stephanie from Jazzercize. 188 00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:06,490 You signed up for an afternoon class and didn't show. 189 00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,927 - Ata, I didn't know you did Jazzercise. 190 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,016 - Oh, it is so good for you. - Sorry, Stephanie. 191 00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,322 You're on a conference call. 192 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,802 - Yeah, Ata's son disrespected her, 193 00:07:13,845 --> 00:07:15,325 but she's gonna handle it on her own. 194 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,240 - For sure. - Right. 195 00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:19,329 He's gonna try and test me? No. 196 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,636 I'm the boss of that boy! - And? 197 00:07:21,679 --> 00:07:23,028 - I am a lioness! 198 00:07:25,466 --> 00:07:28,556 - I love how supportive this call is. 199 00:07:28,599 --> 00:07:31,341 While the room's hot, any advice what I should say 200 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:34,213 to my sister when she asks for money? 201 00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:37,521 I'll just tell her I'm broke. 202 00:07:41,307 --> 00:07:43,484 - Oh, that's the stuff Karen likes. 203 00:07:43,527 --> 00:07:46,225 Pink Ice. - Yeah, how do you know? 204 00:07:46,269 --> 00:07:47,705 - Karen told Bonnie, Bonnie told me. 205 00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:49,315 Oh, me and Bonnie are dating now, man. 206 00:07:49,359 --> 00:07:51,448 She liked the way I handled the whole note passing thing. 207 00:07:51,492 --> 00:07:52,667 - Dude, that's great. 208 00:07:52,710 --> 00:07:54,146 Yo, we should all go on a double date. 209 00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:56,192 - That would be amazing. Yo, we could do our bits, man. 210 00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:58,542 - Ooh, yeah, after this let's cruise through Chess King 211 00:07:58,586 --> 00:08:00,283 so we can five-finger discount some new outfits. 212 00:08:02,328 --> 00:08:04,113 - Pink Ice. 213 00:08:04,156 --> 00:08:05,810 Your ladies have exquisite taste. 214 00:08:05,854 --> 00:08:07,420 - Oh, not me. 215 00:08:07,464 --> 00:08:09,335 Mine wants a chunky necklace from someplace called Chico's. 216 00:08:09,379 --> 00:08:11,468 - How much is this one? 217 00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:14,689 - That's 99.99. 218 00:08:14,732 --> 00:08:16,212 - Do you have anything that looks like 219 00:08:16,255 --> 00:08:18,562 it starts with a nine but actually starts with a two? 220 00:08:18,606 --> 00:08:21,478 - Let me show you our most affordable option. 221 00:08:21,522 --> 00:08:24,568 The stud earrings. - There you go. 222 00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:26,570 - ♪ Burning to face us 223 00:08:26,614 --> 00:08:27,571 ♪ He is burning 224 00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,355 - I don't see anything. 225 00:08:29,399 --> 00:08:31,096 - Here, let me help you. 226 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,968 - ♪ Fire in the twilight 227 00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:34,143 - There. There it is. 228 00:08:34,186 --> 00:08:35,405 Do you see it? There. 229 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,189 - Uh... - Dewey! 230 00:08:37,233 --> 00:08:39,801 How dare you get off that bus and walk away from me. 231 00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:41,454 As far as you're concerned, I am the law 232 00:08:41,498 --> 00:08:42,934 and you will obey me. 233 00:08:42,978 --> 00:08:44,240 - Mom, we're in Zales. 234 00:08:44,283 --> 00:08:45,241 - I don't care if we're in Zales. 235 00:08:45,284 --> 00:08:46,808 You are grounded for two months. 236 00:08:46,851 --> 00:08:48,592 - Two months? - And don't think grounding 237 00:08:48,636 --> 00:08:50,333 means you're gonna watch TV and eat waffles. 238 00:08:50,376 --> 00:08:51,595 You're coming with me. I'm putting you to work. 239 00:08:51,639 --> 00:08:53,423 - Okay, just calm down. 240 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,207 - You think you can just tell me to calm down? 241 00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:56,600 - Well, I-- 242 00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:58,210 - It doesn't matter what you think! 243 00:08:58,254 --> 00:08:59,734 Come on, let's go. 244 00:08:59,777 --> 00:09:01,736 And you better be looking at those earrings 245 00:09:01,779 --> 00:09:04,042 as an apology gift for me. 246 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,217 - You can see those? 247 00:09:05,261 --> 00:09:07,437 - I see everything. 248 00:09:11,615 --> 00:09:14,575 - You're not done till I can see my face in the reflection. 249 00:09:14,618 --> 00:09:16,402 - Yes, ma'am. - I'm impressed. 250 00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:18,709 I tried disciplining my daughter once 251 00:09:18,753 --> 00:09:21,233 when she crashed her Audi, but then she crashed my Audi. 252 00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:22,626 And now we're down to one Audi. 253 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:24,280 - After we finish here, I'm taking Dewey 254 00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:25,716 to apologize to the boy he hit. 255 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,458 - Making amends. Oh, that reminds me. 256 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,068 Did you see the Sally Jessy episode 257 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,243 about people who talk to ghosts? 258 00:09:31,287 --> 00:09:33,071 - No, I was hoping you recorded it. 259 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:35,073 - Oh, I did, and it's a doozy. 260 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,467 I'll get the tape for you right after 261 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,643 I write you a check for the week. 262 00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:42,559 - Is that pug dog a purse? - Yes. 263 00:09:42,603 --> 00:09:44,039 Don't you love? It's Judith Leiber. 264 00:09:44,082 --> 00:09:46,737 She makes jewel-encrusted bags shaped like fun things. 265 00:09:48,217 --> 00:09:50,785 I've got the frog, the sleeping cat. 266 00:09:50,828 --> 00:09:53,962 And I'm on the waitlist for the pork chop. 267 00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:56,094 - Ohh, they're gorgeous. 268 00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,487 Like feminine trophies. - Mm-hmm. 269 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,315 - Dwayne, grab some polish 270 00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:01,056 and give this purse shelf a once-over. 271 00:10:01,099 --> 00:10:04,059 - But I'm mopping. - After you mop. 272 00:10:04,102 --> 00:10:05,451 - Yes, ma'am. 273 00:10:05,495 --> 00:10:08,629 - The "ma'am" is everything. 274 00:10:08,672 --> 00:10:11,022 - "I'm sorry for what I did to you. 275 00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:12,458 "And I know saying I'm sorry 276 00:10:12,502 --> 00:10:14,983 "doesn't excuse the pain that I've caused you, Kevin. 277 00:10:15,026 --> 00:10:16,462 "But I hope in a small way 278 00:10:16,506 --> 00:10:18,595 "it can be a part of the healing process, 279 00:10:18,639 --> 00:10:21,293 "and I hope one day you and your family 280 00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:22,947 "will be able to forgive me. 281 00:10:22,991 --> 00:10:24,209 "I know it will be sometime 282 00:10:24,253 --> 00:10:26,168 "before I'm able to forgive myself. 283 00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:29,780 Sincerely, Dwayne Douglas Johnson." 284 00:10:29,824 --> 00:10:32,435 - Thank you for that, Dwayne Douglas. 285 00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:36,526 And yes, I do forgive you. 286 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,049 - I'm proud of you for doing that. 287 00:10:38,093 --> 00:10:39,094 - Thanks, Mom. 288 00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:40,835 - That was lovely. 289 00:10:40,878 --> 00:10:43,054 His father and I prayed for this moment. 290 00:10:43,098 --> 00:10:44,708 - Thank you. 291 00:10:44,752 --> 00:10:46,318 - I have to say, I'm impressed with how well 292 00:10:46,362 --> 00:10:48,669 you're handling all this as a single mom. 293 00:10:48,712 --> 00:10:50,801 - I have a husband. I'm not a single mom. 294 00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:53,238 - Oh, I just assumed. - You assumed because I'm-- 295 00:10:53,282 --> 00:10:55,284 - Oh, heavens no. No, not at all. 296 00:10:55,327 --> 00:10:57,329 No, no. No. 297 00:10:57,373 --> 00:10:59,723 - What did you think I was gonna say? 298 00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:01,377 - Uh... 299 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:03,901 what were you gonna say? 300 00:11:03,945 --> 00:11:05,511 - Young. - Exactly. 301 00:11:05,555 --> 00:11:08,514 No, you don't seem that young, is what I was saying. 302 00:11:08,558 --> 00:11:10,691 But you're youthful. 303 00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:17,436 - Sorry again, bro. 304 00:11:18,046 --> 00:11:21,223 - My dad prayed to God to damn your soul to hell. 305 00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:24,356 - What? - God owes my dad a favor, 306 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,358 and for that favor he asked God 307 00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:28,317 to curse your soul to eternal damnation 308 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,146 for laying hands on me. 309 00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:33,365 Just thought you should know. 310 00:11:36,891 --> 00:11:38,109 - Eternal damnation? 311 00:11:38,153 --> 00:11:39,720 That's a bitch move. 312 00:11:39,763 --> 00:11:41,983 Getting his preacher dad to use his powers like that. 313 00:11:42,026 --> 00:11:43,462 - My mom said not to sweat it 314 00:11:43,506 --> 00:11:44,812 'cause she thinks his dad's a racist. 315 00:11:44,855 --> 00:11:46,857 - By the way, your mom was like a total badass. 316 00:11:46,901 --> 00:11:49,468 Me and the Zales guy talked about it for a while. 317 00:11:49,512 --> 00:11:51,427 Also, I learned some, like, cool stuff about Zales. 318 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:53,603 - I have never seen her like that. 319 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,561 My dad is usually the one that gets all riled up. 320 00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:57,085 - Do you think you can get out of being grounded tonight? 321 00:11:57,128 --> 00:11:58,739 Because I talked to Bonnie, 322 00:11:58,782 --> 00:12:00,566 and the four of us are doing that double date. 323 00:12:00,610 --> 00:12:02,786 - Yeah, I'm gonna tell my mom I'm going to bed early 324 00:12:02,830 --> 00:12:03,874 then sneak out. 325 00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:05,528 Where are we going? - T.J. Crispy's. 326 00:12:05,571 --> 00:12:08,618 Want to see the present I got her? 327 00:12:11,621 --> 00:12:15,146 - What is it? - It's a marble egg, man. 328 00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:17,279 - What does it do? - Look expensive. 329 00:12:17,322 --> 00:12:19,150 - What is that, a marble egg? 330 00:12:19,194 --> 00:12:20,761 Looks expensive. 331 00:12:20,804 --> 00:12:23,633 - Thank you. You get Karen a present yet? 332 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,114 - Yeah, I got her something real nice. 333 00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:36,298 ♪ 334 00:12:47,004 --> 00:12:51,226 ♪ 335 00:12:51,269 --> 00:12:54,011 What? 336 00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:58,581 ♪ 337 00:13:01,018 --> 00:13:03,455 - Ata, what are you doing here? 338 00:13:03,499 --> 00:13:05,544 - I watched that Sally Jessy episode you gave me. 339 00:13:05,588 --> 00:13:07,242 I needed to talk about it immediately. 340 00:13:07,285 --> 00:13:08,634 - The part where the ghost says, 341 00:13:08,678 --> 00:13:10,767 "I am Jackie, and I forgive you,' 342 00:13:10,811 --> 00:13:12,160 goosebumps. 343 00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:13,857 Then the phone rang, and I almost peed my pants. 344 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,860 - Oh, I brought wine. 345 00:13:16,904 --> 00:13:18,949 So if you got a corkscrew and two glasses, 346 00:13:18,993 --> 00:13:20,037 I'll just wait here. 347 00:13:20,081 --> 00:13:22,779 - Oh, Yellow Hill. 348 00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:26,914 Listen, Ata, you know what, 349 00:13:26,957 --> 00:13:28,393 I'm walking into the kitchen 350 00:13:28,437 --> 00:13:30,743 and I'm not gonna bring out your wine. 351 00:13:30,787 --> 00:13:33,398 I'm sorry, but I think we'd both be happier 352 00:13:33,442 --> 00:13:35,400 drinking one of my grenaches. 353 00:13:35,444 --> 00:13:37,141 Yours says it's from Nevada, 354 00:13:37,185 --> 00:13:38,447 and I'm just not familiar with-- 355 00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:41,450 What are you doing? 356 00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:43,669 - I was--this fell. 357 00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:45,889 The shelf must be wobbly and it slid off, 358 00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:48,283 or I don't know what made it fall, but it fell, and-- 359 00:13:49,675 --> 00:13:51,590 Dwayne stole it. - What? 360 00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:52,940 - He took it, and I was trying to put it back. 361 00:13:52,983 --> 00:13:55,029 I am so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. 362 00:13:55,072 --> 00:13:56,421 I didn't even want to tell you, 363 00:13:56,465 --> 00:13:59,120 but obviously I'm not as good a liar as my son. 364 00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:01,818 - Well, why would he do that? - I don't know. 365 00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:03,602 Dewey's always been such a good kid, 366 00:14:03,646 --> 00:14:06,344 but now he's punching people, disobeying me, stealing. 367 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,217 At first I thought this isn't like him, but what if it is? 368 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:12,785 What if this is who he really is? 369 00:14:12,829 --> 00:14:15,571 - There is a difference between good kids who make mistakes 370 00:14:15,614 --> 00:14:17,878 and kids like...my daughter, 371 00:14:17,921 --> 00:14:20,663 who just wanna watch the world burn. 372 00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:22,447 I don't know your son, 373 00:14:22,491 --> 00:14:24,449 but I feel like I've gotten to know you. 374 00:14:24,493 --> 00:14:27,017 You raised a good kid. 375 00:14:27,061 --> 00:14:29,628 - Thanks for saying that, but I honestly don't feel 376 00:14:29,672 --> 00:14:31,413 like I'm doing a good job at all. 377 00:14:31,456 --> 00:14:33,284 I thought being stricter with him would help, 378 00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:34,938 but it hasn't. 379 00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:38,376 I just want to talk to Rocky. He'd know what to do. 380 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,857 - I think you know what to do. 381 00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:43,120 Do you remember that Sally episode we watched 382 00:14:43,164 --> 00:14:44,774 about princess syndrome? 383 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,471 You're just waiting for someone to come along 384 00:14:46,515 --> 00:14:48,952 and rescue you, make it all better. 385 00:14:48,996 --> 00:14:52,825 But the only one who can make it better is you. 386 00:14:52,869 --> 00:14:55,654 - We are our own knights in shining armor. 387 00:14:55,698 --> 00:14:57,004 I love that episode. 388 00:14:57,047 --> 00:14:58,527 - Yeah, it started off a little shaky 389 00:14:58,570 --> 00:14:59,832 with the whole obese twins thing, 390 00:14:59,876 --> 00:15:02,661 but then it really picked up. 391 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,412 - Mom, look, none of these clothes are mine. 392 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,761 - I know. 393 00:15:15,805 --> 00:15:17,589 They belong to the places you stole them from. 394 00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:20,070 - No, they just forgot to take the security tags off. 395 00:15:20,114 --> 00:15:21,985 - I found the purse, Dewey. 396 00:15:22,029 --> 00:15:23,813 Diane's purse? 397 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,032 Sit down. 398 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:36,347 - I tried punishing you like I did when you were little, 399 00:15:36,391 --> 00:15:38,001 but you're not a kid anymore. 400 00:15:38,045 --> 00:15:41,178 You're becoming a man, so I'm gonna talk to you like one. 401 00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:42,701 What's going on? 402 00:15:42,745 --> 00:15:45,400 - I hate not having things. 403 00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:48,098 - You have things. - Nice things. 404 00:15:48,142 --> 00:15:50,971 Girls only look at you if you have designer clothes 405 00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:52,842 or you drive a cool car or you live in a big house. 406 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,887 And if you don't, you basically don't exist. 407 00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:56,280 - You think I don't want nice things? 408 00:15:56,324 --> 00:15:58,630 I don't want to be cleaning other people's houses, 409 00:15:58,674 --> 00:16:00,197 taking the bus. 410 00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:01,590 - I thought you loved the bus. 411 00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:04,027 - The bus sucks. I know the bus sucks. 412 00:16:04,071 --> 00:16:06,725 But your dad's not earning the way he used to, 413 00:16:06,769 --> 00:16:08,858 so I'm doing what I need to do for our family, 414 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,599 while you're just being selfish. 415 00:16:10,642 --> 00:16:11,948 - It's not like I'm hurting anybody 416 00:16:11,992 --> 00:16:13,994 by taking some shirts from department stores. 417 00:16:14,037 --> 00:16:15,996 - First off, you literally hurt someone. 418 00:16:16,039 --> 00:16:17,693 You punched a classmate. 419 00:16:17,736 --> 00:16:19,216 And you stole from my client. 420 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:21,784 - She has a thousand purses. She would never miss it. 421 00:16:21,827 --> 00:16:23,394 - You need to hang around rich people more. 422 00:16:23,438 --> 00:16:25,048 They notice everything. 423 00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:26,745 And guess who's the first person to get blamed 424 00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:28,138 if something goes missing. 425 00:16:28,182 --> 00:16:30,010 I could have lost my job, 426 00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:32,403 which pays for this apartment you hate, 427 00:16:32,447 --> 00:16:33,883 the clothes you're embarrassed of, 428 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,232 and those waffles you love. 429 00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:37,104 Do you know how many Eggos you eat, Dewey? 430 00:16:37,147 --> 00:16:38,322 - Not even Eggos. 431 00:16:38,366 --> 00:16:40,020 You buy the generic toaster waffles. 432 00:16:40,063 --> 00:16:43,023 - Because you inhale so many, we can only afford the generic. 433 00:16:47,331 --> 00:16:49,290 I'm not looking for a thank you. 434 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:52,728 I do those things because I love you and I'm your mom, 435 00:16:52,771 --> 00:16:54,599 but it's been hard, 436 00:16:54,643 --> 00:16:57,994 and I can't have you making it harder. 437 00:16:58,038 --> 00:16:59,735 - Okay. 438 00:16:59,778 --> 00:17:02,955 I'm sorry, Mom. I'll be better. 439 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,742 - Take these trash bags and fill them 440 00:17:06,785 --> 00:17:10,311 with the clothes you stole, so you can donate them. 441 00:17:11,268 --> 00:17:13,879 Where are you going? The clothes are right here. 442 00:17:13,923 --> 00:17:16,099 - There might be more. - Ugh. 443 00:17:19,668 --> 00:17:21,365 - Hello. - Hey, babe. 444 00:17:21,409 --> 00:17:22,714 I heard you were looking for me. 445 00:17:22,758 --> 00:17:25,587 Everything okay? - Well... 446 00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,937 yeah, actually it is. 447 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,678 I was calling to tell you that Dewey got suspended 448 00:17:29,721 --> 00:17:31,027 from school for fighting. 449 00:17:31,071 --> 00:17:32,289 - Did he win? 450 00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:33,725 Uh, I mean, uh, he did? 451 00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,118 - It's okay, I handled it. 452 00:17:35,162 --> 00:17:36,815 How's everything going over there? 453 00:17:36,859 --> 00:17:39,383 - Oh, it's great. The convention was nuts. 454 00:17:39,427 --> 00:17:40,993 Abdullah the Butcher says hi. 455 00:17:41,037 --> 00:17:42,647 Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow morning. 456 00:17:42,691 --> 00:17:44,171 I just got a couple more meetings tonight. 457 00:17:44,214 --> 00:17:45,607 - Come on, Rocky, we're all going to the bar. 458 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:46,825 - Oh, okay. 459 00:17:46,869 --> 00:17:48,436 - Sounds like an important meeting. 460 00:17:48,479 --> 00:17:50,829 - Babe, you know I've been struggling to book matches. 461 00:17:50,873 --> 00:17:52,353 You know how it is, I gotta schmooze. 462 00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:54,920 Wrestling deals are made over a six-pack of beer 463 00:17:54,964 --> 00:17:56,313 and country music-- 464 00:17:56,357 --> 00:17:59,316 H-hello? 465 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,448 - Ah. 466 00:18:00,491 --> 00:18:03,146 - No follow-up questions, please. 467 00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:05,148 So in my first effort to do better, 468 00:18:05,192 --> 00:18:07,194 I'm gonna tell you I was planning to sneak out tonight 469 00:18:07,237 --> 00:18:09,152 and meet some friends. - Appreciate the honesty. 470 00:18:09,196 --> 00:18:11,154 Don't answer that. 471 00:18:11,198 --> 00:18:13,504 No follow-up questions, please. 472 00:18:13,548 --> 00:18:16,159 - Okay, fair, but I was thinking, 473 00:18:16,203 --> 00:18:19,510 what if me and you order some food instead? 474 00:18:19,554 --> 00:18:21,686 - No way, I don't believe that's true. 475 00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,166 - I'm telling you, it's true. 476 00:18:23,210 --> 00:18:25,037 - She had never seen a porta potty before? 477 00:18:25,081 --> 00:18:26,561 - She had never seen a porta potty 478 00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,345 before the flea market, yes. 479 00:18:28,389 --> 00:18:29,694 She almost started crying. 480 00:18:29,738 --> 00:18:31,348 She said she was wearing her red boots. 481 00:18:31,392 --> 00:18:34,395 Still, she was super into Dad's match once it started. 482 00:18:34,438 --> 00:18:35,700 She really loved it. 483 00:18:35,744 --> 00:18:37,354 - What's this girl's name again? 484 00:18:37,398 --> 00:18:39,182 - Fine-A-- 485 00:18:39,226 --> 00:18:40,531 Good-Grades Karen. 486 00:18:40,575 --> 00:18:42,794 - Well, I like that nickname. 487 00:18:44,318 --> 00:18:45,667 I hope you're not upset 488 00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,973 about missing dinner with your friends. 489 00:18:48,017 --> 00:18:50,367 - They'll survive without me. 490 00:18:50,411 --> 00:18:52,543 - I can't believe it. 491 00:18:52,587 --> 00:18:54,154 He stood me up. 492 00:18:54,197 --> 00:18:55,894 - Karen, I'm sure Dwayne's dead 493 00:18:55,938 --> 00:18:57,766 on the side of some highway, okay? 494 00:18:57,809 --> 00:18:59,376 That's what it would take for him to not be here. 495 00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:01,900 - I've never been stood up before in my life. 496 00:19:01,944 --> 00:19:03,337 Bonnie, is this what this feels like? 497 00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:06,905 - It is, and it'll stay with you. 498 00:19:06,949 --> 00:19:09,778 - All righty, time to settle the bill, right? 499 00:19:09,821 --> 00:19:11,780 Bonnie, obviously, I got you covered 500 00:19:11,823 --> 00:19:15,392 since you're my date, but Karen... 501 00:19:15,436 --> 00:19:16,959 - I had a Diet Sprite. 502 00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:19,440 - And three chicken wings from the shared appetizer. 503 00:19:19,483 --> 00:19:20,702 I counted the bones. 504 00:19:20,745 --> 00:19:22,399 So doing a little math here. 505 00:19:22,443 --> 00:19:24,793 That is 1.50 plus 3.99, 506 00:19:24,836 --> 00:19:26,534 plus tax and tip. 507 00:19:28,362 --> 00:19:30,190 - No, Mom. - 508 00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:32,801 Hey, come on, we're having a fun night. 509 00:19:32,844 --> 00:19:34,672 You used to love singing this song with me. 510 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:35,978 - Yeah, when I was a kid. 511 00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:39,155 - You're never too old to sing. 512 00:19:39,199 --> 00:19:43,115 ♪ Don't go breaking my heart 513 00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:45,379 - ♪ I couldn't if I tried 514 00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,253 ♪ Oh honey if I get restless 515 00:19:50,297 --> 00:19:51,515 Sing. 516 00:19:51,559 --> 00:19:54,257 - ♪ Baby you're not that kind 517 00:19:57,304 --> 00:19:59,480 ♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪ 518 00:19:59,523 --> 00:20:01,264 - You sound good. - 519 00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:05,268 ♪ You take the weight off of me ♪ 520 00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:10,317 - Oh, hey, Mom, I'm gonna drop those clothes off 521 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:11,579 at Goodwill after breakfast. 522 00:20:11,622 --> 00:20:13,276 - Thank you. I'm off to Jazzercise. 523 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,973 - Have fun. Oh, and by the way, 524 00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:18,629 we're out of Sim's Market Brand Toaster Quilted Pancakes. 525 00:20:18,673 --> 00:20:21,023 - I'll stop by the store on my way home. 526 00:20:21,066 --> 00:20:23,678 - Yeah, I really put my mom through it, 527 00:20:23,721 --> 00:20:25,288 but she never gave up on me, 528 00:20:25,332 --> 00:20:27,682 and she always showed me what true strength really is. 529 00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:29,161 - It's that mama bear mentality. 530 00:20:29,205 --> 00:20:31,251 - Exactly, and that's why I have such respect 531 00:20:31,294 --> 00:20:33,253 for strong women, because I was raised by one. 532 00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:35,472 - So is your mom your running mate? 533 00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,692 - No, although she would love that. 534 00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:41,261 But the person I will choose will share similar qualities. 535 00:20:41,304 --> 00:20:43,001 - Well, I'm sure I speak for America 536 00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:45,003 when I say we can't wait to see who you choose. 537 00:20:45,047 --> 00:20:48,398 And also we have a little bit of a surprise for you. 538 00:20:48,442 --> 00:20:50,705 - Is this mic working? 539 00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:52,359 Hello? 540 00:20:52,402 --> 00:20:54,665 - Mom, we're here. - Dewey, hi, Dewey. 541 00:20:54,709 --> 00:20:56,363 - Oh, I love that you still call him Dewey. 542 00:20:56,406 --> 00:20:59,148 - Oh, even when he's president I'll still call him Dewey. 543 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,193 - Mom. - Yes, President Dewey? 544 00:21:01,237 --> 00:21:03,283 - Mom, please. - Oh, President Dewey. 545 00:21:03,326 --> 00:21:05,110 That has a nice sound to it. - No, it doesn't. 546 00:21:05,154 --> 00:21:07,025 - Yeah, no, it doesn't. 547 00:21:07,069 --> 00:21:09,027 So, Mrs. Johnson, do you think your son 548 00:21:09,071 --> 00:21:11,813 can become the next President of the United States? 549 00:21:11,856 --> 00:21:13,293 - Absolutely. 550 00:21:13,336 --> 00:21:15,338 When Dewey says he's gonna do something, 551 00:21:15,382 --> 00:21:18,036 he will do it, and you will smell... 552 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,342 - No, Mom. Oh, Mom. 553 00:21:19,386 --> 00:21:21,213 - What President Dewey is cooking. 554 00:21:21,257 --> 00:21:22,867 - - That's my mom. 555 00:21:22,911 --> 00:21:24,129 - That's mom. 556 00:21:24,173 --> 00:21:26,218 - Okay, that's enough. Bye bye. 557 00:21:26,262 --> 00:21:27,307 - I think that's a good idea.