1 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:04,067 . 2 00:00:04,112 --> 00:00:07,506 [dramatic music] 3 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,595 - I'm Randall Park at Freedom High School, 4 00:00:09,639 --> 00:00:11,684 continuing our all-access coverage 5 00:00:11,728 --> 00:00:14,035 of the Dwayne Johnson presidential campaign. 6 00:00:14,078 --> 00:00:16,211 ♪ 7 00:00:16,254 --> 00:00:19,779 - Thank you for joining us for the official opening 8 00:00:19,823 --> 00:00:23,087 of the Dwayne Johnson Library. 9 00:00:23,131 --> 00:00:25,220 Dwayne, we always knew 10 00:00:25,263 --> 00:00:28,484 that you were destined for greatness. 11 00:00:28,527 --> 00:00:29,833 - Nice lady. 12 00:00:29,876 --> 00:00:31,487 She made me sound good, but none of it was true. 13 00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:32,444 I mean, the only thing that people said 14 00:00:32,488 --> 00:00:34,359 I was destined to do was time. 15 00:00:34,403 --> 00:00:36,448 [both chuckle] - That's good. 16 00:00:36,492 --> 00:00:38,146 - As we all know, nobody's perfect, 17 00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:39,712 and we all screw up. 18 00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:41,932 I just happened to screw up a little bit more than most. 19 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,803 As a matter of fact, Randall, when I first got here 20 00:00:43,847 --> 00:00:46,458 to Freedom High School, I was a hardcore shoplifter. 21 00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:48,069 - Mm-hmm. 22 00:00:48,112 --> 00:00:49,548 Hey, just so you know, 23 00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,072 you guys have to come in tighter 24 00:00:51,115 --> 00:00:52,203 when he says stuff like that. 25 00:00:52,247 --> 00:00:53,465 Well, it's too late now. 26 00:00:53,509 --> 00:00:55,728 It's too late. Back up. 27 00:00:55,772 --> 00:00:57,687 Just anticipate. 28 00:00:57,730 --> 00:00:59,123 Uh, continue. 29 00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:02,126 - Yeah, so we moved here to Bethlehem from Nashville 30 00:01:02,170 --> 00:01:04,388 because my dad wasn't wrestling for Vince McMahon anymore. 31 00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:05,912 - That's your father... - Mm-hmm. 32 00:01:05,956 --> 00:01:09,873 - [wrestling announcer voice] "Soul Man" Rocky Johnson! 33 00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:11,614 - Nice, man. Good job. 34 00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:13,181 Give me some. - All right. 35 00:01:13,224 --> 00:01:14,138 - You practiced that, didn't you? 36 00:01:14,182 --> 00:01:15,748 - I did. 37 00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:19,012 I don't know if I mentioned it, but I used to be an actor. 38 00:01:19,056 --> 00:01:20,536 - You have. - I have? Okay. 39 00:01:20,579 --> 00:01:22,233 - Yeah, yeah, multiple times. - Oh, okay. 40 00:01:22,277 --> 00:01:23,756 - But back to my parents. - Yes, yes. 41 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,410 - So money wasn't coming in the way it used to, 42 00:01:25,454 --> 00:01:28,196 so he and my mom opened up a cleaning business. 43 00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:31,329 I had a side job after school slinging pizza, 44 00:01:31,373 --> 00:01:33,244 but the only thing I wanted to do was chase girls. 45 00:01:33,288 --> 00:01:34,506 - Mm. - [chuckles] 46 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:35,942 And to get their attention, I thought 47 00:01:35,986 --> 00:01:39,032 that I had to look rich, hence all the stealing. 48 00:01:39,076 --> 00:01:40,425 - Candidate Johnson, please, 49 00:01:40,469 --> 00:01:42,471 remember our media training session. 50 00:01:42,514 --> 00:01:45,604 - It's fine, Sandy. - Yeah, it's fine, Sandy. 51 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:47,911 - So my dad was still trying to wrestle 52 00:01:47,954 --> 00:01:50,348 any chance that he got, so my Uncle Afa 53 00:01:50,392 --> 00:01:52,481 from the Wild Samoans... - The Wild Samoans. 54 00:01:52,524 --> 00:01:54,874 [growls] - Yeah, that's good. 55 00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:56,441 - Yeah. - Borderline inappropriate. 56 00:01:56,485 --> 00:01:57,442 - Oh, okay. - It was the tongue. 57 00:01:57,486 --> 00:01:59,270 - Yeah. Oh, sorry. - Yeah. 58 00:01:59,314 --> 00:02:01,098 So my Uncle Afa hooked my dad up 59 00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:02,795 with a promoter who got him booked 60 00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:05,189 on some local shows, which was great. 61 00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:07,974 I mean, we needed the money, but my dad 62 00:02:08,018 --> 00:02:09,759 was still very much reliving 63 00:02:09,802 --> 00:02:11,891 his glory days of the early '80s. 64 00:02:11,935 --> 00:02:13,806 - Listen to that crowd! 65 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,373 - Whoo! 66 00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:17,288 - Kick to the midsection. Johnson taking a beating! 67 00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:18,681 [Sam and Dave's "Soul Man"] 68 00:02:18,724 --> 00:02:20,857 Rocky making an incredible comeback 69 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,424 against the Nature Boy. 70 00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:23,642 [cheers and applause] 71 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:26,167 Here comes the big "Soul Man" right hand! 72 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:27,907 - ♪ I'm a soul man 73 00:02:27,951 --> 00:02:30,301 ♪ 74 00:02:30,345 --> 00:02:32,085 - He holds Flair up! 75 00:02:32,129 --> 00:02:33,304 [crowd cheering] One, two... 76 00:02:33,348 --> 00:02:35,350 - Three, and the crowd goes wild! 77 00:02:35,393 --> 00:02:36,655 - Yeah, right, they did! 78 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:38,570 - I remember seeing that match on TV. 79 00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:40,964 - Flair's a great guy. Just don't touch his hair. 80 00:02:41,007 --> 00:02:44,794 But do compliment his ring entrance robe. 81 00:02:44,837 --> 00:02:46,970 Brother spends a ton on feathering. 82 00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:53,237 - [sighs] 83 00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:56,675 Dewey, did you put an empty egg carton 84 00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:58,590 and an empty milk carton back in the fridge? 85 00:02:58,634 --> 00:02:59,896 - How are you supposed to know we're out of stuff 86 00:02:59,939 --> 00:03:01,332 if I don't put the empty cartons in the fridge? 87 00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:02,899 - How 'bout you write it down on the grocery list? 88 00:03:02,942 --> 00:03:04,770 - Because when I do, you ignore it. 89 00:03:04,814 --> 00:03:07,469 Like, here I wrote "Coke," and you bought 90 00:03:07,512 --> 00:03:10,036 Sim's Market Brand Sugar Cola. 91 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,343 - Do you think I want Sim's Market Brand Milk Alternative 92 00:03:12,387 --> 00:03:13,649 for my coffee? No. 93 00:03:13,692 --> 00:03:15,477 I want the purple half-and-half, 94 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,306 but nobody here is making half-and-half money, Dewey. 95 00:03:18,349 --> 00:03:20,786 We're making Sim's Market Brand money. 96 00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:22,310 Gotta take a shower. I've got a new client. 97 00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:23,833 I can't be late. 98 00:03:23,876 --> 00:03:26,618 [phone rings] 99 00:03:28,490 --> 00:03:30,274 - Hello? - Hey, Son. 100 00:03:30,318 --> 00:03:31,841 - Hey, Dad. - Is your mom there? 101 00:03:31,884 --> 00:03:33,146 - She's in the shower. 102 00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:34,757 She's working for that new client today. 103 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,541 - All right, let her know I'm running a little late. 104 00:03:36,585 --> 00:03:37,716 I lost track of time 105 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,240 storytelling for the guys at the gym. 106 00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:40,719 - Mom seems real stressed, Dad. 107 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,199 - Hey, when I get home, I'll give her 108 00:03:42,243 --> 00:03:43,592 a Rocky Johnson foot massage. 109 00:03:43,635 --> 00:03:44,810 That'll take care of it. 110 00:03:44,854 --> 00:03:46,159 Well, since I waited 20 minutes 111 00:03:46,203 --> 00:03:47,160 for the phone to open up, 112 00:03:47,204 --> 00:03:48,379 let's not waste it. 113 00:03:48,423 --> 00:03:50,033 Hey, how's it going with that girl you like? 114 00:03:50,076 --> 00:03:52,165 - Fine-Ass Karen--and not good. 115 00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:53,341 I want to ask her out, 116 00:03:53,384 --> 00:03:54,603 but so does every other guy in school. 117 00:03:54,646 --> 00:03:57,910 - Well, son, you are not every other guy. 118 00:03:57,954 --> 00:04:00,217 You just need to figure out what you can offer her 119 00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:02,306 that no one else can. 120 00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:05,353 - My Hans and Franz impression from "Saturday Night Live." 121 00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:07,180 - I don't know what that means, son, 122 00:04:07,224 --> 00:04:08,878 but you gotta step your game up. 123 00:04:08,921 --> 00:04:11,924 Be confident. Girls like swagger. 124 00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,926 And don't wait to make your move. 125 00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:16,842 For every second you hesitate, there's another guy out there 126 00:04:16,886 --> 00:04:17,887 telling your girl 127 00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:19,670 she'd look better with less makeup. 128 00:04:19,715 --> 00:04:22,370 - So I wasn't gonna hesitate. 129 00:04:22,413 --> 00:04:23,762 [Bon Jovi 's "Livin' On A Prayer"] 130 00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:25,547 - Dewey, I'm leaving. See you tonight! 131 00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:27,592 - Okay, Ma, see you later! 132 00:04:27,636 --> 00:04:29,420 - This girl Karen thought I was rich, 133 00:04:29,464 --> 00:04:31,292 and I sure as hell wasn't, 134 00:04:31,335 --> 00:04:32,815 so I had to impress her 135 00:04:32,858 --> 00:04:34,904 with the best stolen clothes I had. 136 00:04:34,947 --> 00:04:37,776 ♪ 137 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,736 That's right, those are Girbaud jeans. 138 00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:42,520 - ♪ Living on a prayer 139 00:04:42,564 --> 00:04:44,087 - I had my gear. 140 00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:45,828 Now I just had to catch my ride. 141 00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:50,528 ♪ 142 00:04:50,572 --> 00:04:53,618 - Hello, hello. 143 00:04:53,662 --> 00:04:56,273 Uh, sir, you need to be a student to ride this bus. 144 00:04:56,317 --> 00:04:58,188 - I am a student. 145 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,451 - You got some stones, pervert. 146 00:05:02,671 --> 00:05:04,629 - Gabe, yo, tell him I'm a student! 147 00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:06,675 - Are those Girbaud jeans? 148 00:05:10,069 --> 00:05:10,287 . 149 00:05:10,331 --> 00:05:12,898 - So I think Mondays and Thursdays to start, 150 00:05:12,942 --> 00:05:14,509 and if you have any questions or you need anything, 151 00:05:14,552 --> 00:05:15,597 just let me know. 152 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,512 - Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Ariti. 153 00:05:17,555 --> 00:05:21,254 - Oh, please, call me Diane. Do you have any kids? 154 00:05:21,298 --> 00:05:23,213 I have a daughter, supposedly. 155 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,346 She hasn't called in three weeks. 156 00:05:25,389 --> 00:05:29,132 I'm learning to cook Indian, but I can't find the spices! 157 00:05:29,175 --> 00:05:31,743 So if it hadn't been for that second margarita, 158 00:05:31,787 --> 00:05:34,485 you'd be looking at Mrs. Kelsey Grammer right now. 159 00:05:34,529 --> 00:05:37,053 And I just don't think I'm a good hugger! 160 00:05:37,096 --> 00:05:38,576 Do you think I should get a facelift? 161 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:40,404 Be honest. 162 00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:42,841 I have a shrimp allergy! 163 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,582 Clark got me this for my birthday. 164 00:05:44,626 --> 00:05:47,977 He was always getting me expensive, insulting gifts. 165 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,022 Bicycle, gym membership, diet pills-- 166 00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:52,460 - Oh, my God, those aren't real problems. 167 00:05:52,503 --> 00:05:53,939 Paying rent, keeping the lights on, 168 00:05:53,983 --> 00:05:55,463 those are real problems. 169 00:05:55,506 --> 00:05:57,552 - Oh, right. 170 00:05:57,595 --> 00:05:59,162 Of course. 171 00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:00,424 I could pay you a dollar more an hour. 172 00:06:00,468 --> 00:06:01,991 - No, no, that's not what I was asking. 173 00:06:02,034 --> 00:06:03,427 - I just used to pay what my neighbor paid, 174 00:06:03,471 --> 00:06:04,515 but she moved-- 175 00:06:04,559 --> 00:06:06,038 - Let's just forget I said anything. 176 00:06:12,436 --> 00:06:14,482 - I can't believe he wouldn't let me on the bus. 177 00:06:14,525 --> 00:06:15,787 I was so late that I missed homeroom 178 00:06:15,831 --> 00:06:17,136 with Fine-Ass Karen. 179 00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:18,703 She didn't get to see the new jeans I stole 180 00:06:18,747 --> 00:06:20,313 or my Hans and Franz. 181 00:06:20,357 --> 00:06:22,054 What if I miss my window with her? 182 00:06:22,098 --> 00:06:24,970 - Dude, honestly, I don't know if your jeans 183 00:06:25,014 --> 00:06:26,885 or your impression would have mattered. 184 00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:29,671 Karen has crazy high standards. 185 00:06:29,714 --> 00:06:30,802 - ♪ Let's all go to the lobby ♪ 186 00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:32,804 - Take me home. 187 00:06:32,848 --> 00:06:34,415 Take me home. 188 00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:36,460 - ♪ Karen 189 00:06:36,504 --> 00:06:38,288 - Take me home. 190 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,943 - Um, we're at your house. 191 00:06:40,986 --> 00:06:42,684 - Oh. 192 00:06:42,727 --> 00:06:44,337 Well, take yourself home then. 193 00:06:48,429 --> 00:06:49,647 My God. 194 00:06:49,691 --> 00:06:51,388 It's the Karens! - What? 195 00:06:51,432 --> 00:06:53,608 - It's the Karens! - No, here? 196 00:06:53,651 --> 00:06:56,001 - ♪ Taking me 197 00:06:56,045 --> 00:06:57,612 ♪ To the point of no return 198 00:06:57,655 --> 00:06:59,091 - Fine-Ass Karen. 199 00:06:59,135 --> 00:07:01,050 [Exposé's "Point Of No Return"] 200 00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:02,660 Big Hair Karen. 201 00:07:02,704 --> 00:07:05,141 Colorblind Karen. - [sighs] 202 00:07:05,184 --> 00:07:07,535 - And Bonnie. 203 00:07:07,578 --> 00:07:09,928 They made her an honorary Karen 'cause it's her car. 204 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,408 - Yo, they're coming. They're coming in. 205 00:07:11,452 --> 00:07:13,192 - Yo! 206 00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:14,629 - What are we doing? - Yo, I don't know man! 207 00:07:14,672 --> 00:07:15,891 Just be cool! 208 00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:17,588 I'm gonna put these peppers on a plate. 209 00:07:17,632 --> 00:07:20,199 - ♪ I 210 00:07:20,243 --> 00:07:21,853 ♪ I'd like to feel the passion ♪ 211 00:07:21,897 --> 00:07:23,681 ♪ To the point of no return 212 00:07:23,725 --> 00:07:25,030 ♪ Oh, baby 213 00:07:25,074 --> 00:07:27,337 - The universe was giving me a second chance, 214 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,253 and like my dad said, I had to be confident. 215 00:07:30,296 --> 00:07:31,907 - Yo, let's go over. 216 00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:33,343 - I can't, man. 217 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,301 I squirted pepper juice in my eye. 218 00:07:35,345 --> 00:07:37,086 Ugh. Ow. 219 00:07:37,129 --> 00:07:38,740 Go over there for the both of us. 220 00:07:38,783 --> 00:07:40,437 - [exhales] 221 00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,442 Hello, ladies. - Hi, Tomas. 222 00:07:45,486 --> 00:07:47,749 - Oh, yeah, I also told her that my name was Tomas. 223 00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:50,099 - Missed you in homeroom. - Oh, I was shaving. 224 00:07:50,142 --> 00:07:51,274 Lost track of time. 225 00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:53,450 - So why are you even working here? 226 00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:55,626 I thought Karen said you were rich. 227 00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:58,281 - Oh, this isn't a money job. This is a build-character job. 228 00:07:58,324 --> 00:07:59,456 - I totally get it. 229 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,284 My cousin's a construction worker. 230 00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:02,590 - My dad's a professional wrestler. 231 00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:03,939 That's where our family money comes from. 232 00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,375 - Oh, yeah? 233 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,159 My dad bought WrestleMania III on pay-per-view. 234 00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:08,596 Was your dad in that? 235 00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:10,859 - No, but he's friends with all the guys who were. 236 00:08:10,902 --> 00:08:13,209 I once spent a beautiful day with André the Giant 237 00:08:13,252 --> 00:08:14,602 when I was a kid. 238 00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:16,038 - Fezzik! 239 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:18,344 That's his character's name in "The Princess Bride." 240 00:08:19,476 --> 00:08:21,347 - Well, that's interesting. 241 00:08:21,391 --> 00:08:23,524 Not what Bonnie said, but what you said. 242 00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:26,048 The last guy I dated's dad was vice president 243 00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:27,963 for the acquisitions of--who cares? 244 00:08:28,006 --> 00:08:29,355 So boring. 245 00:08:29,399 --> 00:08:31,314 - You know, I was actually talking about you 246 00:08:31,357 --> 00:08:32,794 with my dad this morning. - What? 247 00:08:32,837 --> 00:08:34,665 No, you weren't. - I was. 248 00:08:34,709 --> 00:08:36,449 I told him I wanted to ask you out. 249 00:08:36,493 --> 00:08:38,800 You know what he told me? - What? 250 00:08:38,843 --> 00:08:42,151 - He told me to offer you what the other guys can't. 251 00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:44,022 - Oh, yeah, and what's that? 252 00:08:45,197 --> 00:08:46,329 - [German accent] I'm Hans. 253 00:08:46,372 --> 00:08:50,072 I'm Franz. And we want to pump you up. 254 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:59,298 - I love Hans and Franz. Call me later. 255 00:08:59,342 --> 00:09:01,474 [upbeat music] 256 00:09:03,172 --> 00:09:03,564 . 257 00:09:03,607 --> 00:09:06,218 - The "Soul Man" has withstood the onslaught 258 00:09:06,262 --> 00:09:07,829 by Roddy Piper and is now all over the rowdy one! 259 00:09:07,872 --> 00:09:09,178 [cheers and applause] 260 00:09:09,221 --> 00:09:11,180 Here comes the signature drop kick! 261 00:09:12,747 --> 00:09:14,009 Is it over? 262 00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:15,488 [crowd chanting] One, two... 263 00:09:15,532 --> 00:09:17,621 - Three, the crowd goes wild! 264 00:09:17,665 --> 00:09:19,667 Rocky, Rocky, Rocky! 265 00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:22,670 - Like I said, I don't really watch wrestling. 266 00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:24,541 - Sure you do. 267 00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:25,847 Let me tell you about this other time. 268 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:27,457 So I had this brother, right? 269 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,459 - Well, I feel awful. 270 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:30,895 I snapped at my new client today, 271 00:09:30,939 --> 00:09:32,810 so now I'm making her apology musubis. 272 00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:34,856 - Do like we do out here in Hawaii. 273 00:09:34,899 --> 00:09:37,772 Send mangoes, the fruit of forgiveness. 274 00:09:38,903 --> 00:09:40,818 - There he is. I did what you said. 275 00:09:40,862 --> 00:09:42,646 I stepped to Karen with confidence, 276 00:09:42,690 --> 00:09:43,604 and she gave me her number. 277 00:09:43,647 --> 00:09:44,822 - Oh, that's great, son. 278 00:09:44,866 --> 00:09:45,954 I told you that would work. 279 00:09:45,997 --> 00:09:47,738 - Gonna call her tonight after I work out 280 00:09:47,782 --> 00:09:49,827 so I can say, "I just worked out." 281 00:09:49,871 --> 00:09:51,699 - Smooth as hell, son. Keep your foot on the gas. 282 00:09:51,742 --> 00:09:52,961 Don't let up. 283 00:09:53,004 --> 00:09:54,658 - Rocky, did that promoter pay you yet? 284 00:09:54,702 --> 00:09:56,660 - Uh, no, we got a match on Saturday. 285 00:09:56,704 --> 00:09:57,922 Office said he's gonna pay us then. 286 00:09:57,966 --> 00:09:59,532 - Where's your match on Saturday? 287 00:09:59,576 --> 00:10:02,057 - North Hampton College. Sold out. 288 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:04,537 - Really? - Totally sold out. 289 00:10:04,581 --> 00:10:05,843 Oh, I'm gonna blow their minds. 290 00:10:05,887 --> 00:10:07,845 Like that time I went up against Paul Orndorff... 291 00:10:07,889 --> 00:10:10,674 [school bell rings] 292 00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:13,546 [funky music] 293 00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:15,940 - Hello, Dwayne. How's student life? 294 00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:19,030 - Hey, Principal Bogg. It's good. 295 00:10:19,074 --> 00:10:21,076 - That was for the benefit of the kids, Officer Johnson. 296 00:10:21,119 --> 00:10:22,860 I don't want to blow your cover. 297 00:10:22,904 --> 00:10:25,689 Any leads on the rash of locker break-ins? 298 00:10:25,733 --> 00:10:28,213 - Again, I'm not a narc. - Of course. 299 00:10:28,257 --> 00:10:29,911 You can't talk on school premises. 300 00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:32,827 I'll make us a reservation at Morton's Steakhouse. 301 00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:34,393 You can brief me later. 302 00:10:34,437 --> 00:10:36,613 Hey, stay safe out there. 303 00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:40,573 - What? 304 00:10:40,617 --> 00:10:42,488 ♪ 305 00:10:42,532 --> 00:10:46,884 Karen, Karen, Karen, Bonnie. 306 00:10:46,928 --> 00:10:48,146 - You can call me Karen. 307 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,800 - Is it me, or is he wearing all red? 308 00:10:49,844 --> 00:10:51,889 - It's you. - Hi, Tomas. 309 00:10:51,933 --> 00:10:53,412 Fun talking to you on the phone last night. 310 00:10:53,456 --> 00:10:55,327 - Think how fun it will be when we talk face-to-face 311 00:10:55,371 --> 00:10:56,633 on our date. 312 00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:58,809 - Karen, you didn't tell us he asked you out. 313 00:10:58,853 --> 00:11:01,290 - He didn't, Karen. It's happening right now. 314 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,161 - No fricking way. 315 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,163 - My dad is wrestling at North Hampton College 316 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,251 on Saturday. 317 00:11:06,295 --> 00:11:08,079 It's sold out, but I can get us in. 318 00:11:08,123 --> 00:11:11,039 Snag us some VIP passes, hang backstage. 319 00:11:11,082 --> 00:11:12,736 - That would be pretty exciting. 320 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:14,259 I've never seen a live show. 321 00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:19,134 See, Kevin? That's how you do it. 322 00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:22,833 ♪ 323 00:11:22,877 --> 00:11:23,834 - ♪ Baby 324 00:11:23,878 --> 00:11:26,054 ♪ I can't wait 325 00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:29,405 - Mmm. 326 00:11:29,448 --> 00:11:32,756 They taste like hope for a better future. 327 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,236 - [chuckles] 328 00:11:34,279 --> 00:11:36,281 - Thank you for these, but you really didn't have to. 329 00:11:36,325 --> 00:11:38,980 - It's the least I could do after how I spoke to you. 330 00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:41,939 It's not an excuse, but my husband's been having 331 00:11:41,983 --> 00:11:44,246 work issues, and money's been tight. 332 00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:45,769 Anyway, I'm sorry. 333 00:11:45,813 --> 00:11:47,205 - I'm sorry too. 334 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:49,773 Ever since my daughter left home and my divorce, 335 00:11:49,817 --> 00:11:52,428 I've been a little lonely. 336 00:11:52,471 --> 00:11:54,473 I guess I got overexcited at having company. 337 00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:57,128 - Family tests you whether they're here or they're gone. 338 00:11:57,172 --> 00:11:58,434 - Amen. 339 00:11:58,477 --> 00:12:00,523 Just like Sally Jessy says, "We're expected 340 00:12:00,566 --> 00:12:02,960 to react to the needs of the people around us." 341 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:05,746 - Who's Sally Jesse? 342 00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:07,704 - Sally Jesse Raphael. 343 00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:11,839 The yellow haired hawk of daytime talk. 344 00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:14,580 Oh, come with me. Come with me. 345 00:12:14,624 --> 00:12:17,540 - And I was like, "No, Bonnie, a perm would not do well 346 00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:18,802 with your face structure." 347 00:12:18,846 --> 00:12:21,065 And that is how I saved her life. 348 00:12:21,109 --> 00:12:22,937 - What would she do without you? 349 00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:28,812 - Wow, this place really is sold out. 350 00:12:28,856 --> 00:12:31,032 - I'll talk to the guy, tell him who we are. 351 00:12:33,121 --> 00:12:34,296 - Here for the flea market? 352 00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:35,950 - We're here for the wrestling match. 353 00:12:35,993 --> 00:12:37,168 - Yep, you're in the right place. 354 00:12:37,212 --> 00:12:38,735 That's right between the vintage coats 355 00:12:38,779 --> 00:12:39,867 and French armoires. 356 00:12:41,869 --> 00:12:43,479 - Now, I knew my dad wasn't wrestling 357 00:12:43,522 --> 00:12:45,002 in packed arenas anymore, 358 00:12:45,046 --> 00:12:46,612 but he definitely stretched the truth 359 00:12:46,656 --> 00:12:47,831 about this venue. 360 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:49,441 - Dewey! [chuckles] 361 00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:52,662 Well, well, well, and this must be Karen. 362 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,838 Oh, what a surprise. - Dewey? 363 00:12:54,882 --> 00:12:56,840 - My nickname. - It's a nickname for Tomas? 364 00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:58,711 - Tomas? His name is Dwayne. 365 00:12:58,755 --> 00:13:00,148 - Is this true, Tomas? 366 00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:03,891 - You said you were wrestling at a college. 367 00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,457 - Yeah, this is at a college. 368 00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:07,329 - This is a flea market next to a college. 369 00:13:07,372 --> 00:13:09,200 - Commemorative bicentennial spoons? 370 00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:12,377 - Ew, I am not buying used spoons. 371 00:13:12,421 --> 00:13:15,467 - Vintage T-shirts, young lady? You a fan of GWAR? 372 00:13:15,511 --> 00:13:18,035 - Dwayne! - One sec. 373 00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:20,298 Look at her, Dad. She's not the flea market type. 374 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,170 You know I've been trying to impress this girl. 375 00:13:22,213 --> 00:13:24,563 - All right, all right, I might have hyped it up a bit, 376 00:13:24,607 --> 00:13:26,043 but the crowd is pumped. 377 00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:28,916 - There's, like, ten people here. 378 00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:31,744 - Now, see, there was 11, but this woman fainted 379 00:13:31,788 --> 00:13:33,572 when she heard I was on the card. 380 00:13:33,616 --> 00:13:35,661 Yeah, she saw me wrestle Mr. Fuji 381 00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:37,228 at the Garden years ago. 382 00:13:37,272 --> 00:13:39,100 Now, that was a hell of a match. 383 00:13:39,143 --> 00:13:41,406 - Okay, sure, my dad stretched the truth 384 00:13:41,450 --> 00:13:43,887 to make himself look good, but he was also used 385 00:13:43,931 --> 00:13:45,933 to a certain level of success that he wasn't 386 00:13:45,976 --> 00:13:47,412 ready to give up. 387 00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:49,719 - So Fuji's about to throw salt in my eyes, right? 388 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,155 - Dwayne, can we go? 389 00:13:51,199 --> 00:13:52,461 There is a woman trying to sell me 390 00:13:52,504 --> 00:13:55,943 what I think is a racist syrup jar. 391 00:13:55,986 --> 00:13:58,249 - Um, we gotta-- - Oh, wait, wait, no. 392 00:13:58,293 --> 00:13:59,947 You can't leave before the main event. 393 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,952 - For sure, we're staying. 394 00:14:04,995 --> 00:14:07,128 No way we're missing a Rocky Johnson show. 395 00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:09,434 - That's my boy. 396 00:14:10,609 --> 00:14:12,785 - Rocky, showtime. - Great, thanks, Hal. 397 00:14:12,829 --> 00:14:14,483 I'll see you two after the match? 398 00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,573 - No way we're staying. 399 00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:20,489 There is a man selling a pile of old baby shoes, 400 00:14:20,532 --> 00:14:22,708 and it is freaking me out. 401 00:14:22,752 --> 00:14:25,798 - If you want to leave, go ahead, but I'm staying. 402 00:14:25,842 --> 00:14:27,322 - Why? 403 00:14:28,497 --> 00:14:29,585 - He's my dad. 404 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,329 - Like Karen, I'm also confused. 405 00:14:34,372 --> 00:14:35,504 Why did you stay? 406 00:14:36,984 --> 00:14:38,246 - He's my dad. 407 00:14:41,336 --> 00:14:42,859 That's it. 408 00:14:46,907 --> 00:14:48,343 - Wait. 409 00:14:50,519 --> 00:14:50,736 . 410 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:53,174 - And it's really unusual, I think, to hear women 411 00:14:53,217 --> 00:14:54,262 say this-- looks are more important 412 00:14:54,305 --> 00:14:55,393 than brains? - Oh, yeah. 413 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:56,960 - I think I would like a dumb, hot man. 414 00:14:57,004 --> 00:14:59,006 Clark was basically a giant brain 415 00:14:59,049 --> 00:15:01,443 attached to the body of an uncooked chicken. 416 00:15:01,486 --> 00:15:03,401 - [laughs] 417 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,534 I'd like a man who can put his ego aside. 418 00:15:05,577 --> 00:15:07,797 I love Rocky, but he always exaggerates 419 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,973 to make himself look good when he doesn't even have to. 420 00:15:10,017 --> 00:15:11,235 It's exhausting. 421 00:15:11,279 --> 00:15:13,194 - Still, sounds better than Clark. 422 00:15:13,237 --> 00:15:16,806 An uncooked chicken, Ata. - [laughs] 423 00:15:18,677 --> 00:15:20,636 Oh, I have to go. - No. 424 00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:22,116 - Yeah, I still gotta go to the grocery store 425 00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:23,378 and get dinner ready. 426 00:15:23,421 --> 00:15:26,076 - You have to take time for yourself too. 427 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,338 "Find the little joys, 428 00:15:27,382 --> 00:15:29,079 for they give us the greatest pleasures." 429 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:32,996 - Did you just come up with that? 430 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,606 - No, that's SJR. 431 00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,782 She said it to a toothless woman addicted to crystal meth. 432 00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:39,002 I recorded it. I'll show you. 433 00:15:40,612 --> 00:15:42,397 - Got us some snacks. 434 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,181 - That's what my family buys to feed the fish 435 00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:45,487 when we go to the Poconos. 436 00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:46,705 - [screams] - [screams] 437 00:15:46,749 --> 00:15:49,621 - [chuckles] Hey, Uncle Afa, Uncle Sika. 438 00:15:49,665 --> 00:15:52,407 This is Karen. - Hi, Karen. 439 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:53,712 - [screams] - [screams] 440 00:15:53,756 --> 00:15:57,673 - [laughs] Bye, Karen. 441 00:15:57,716 --> 00:16:00,589 - Should've gone white water rafting with Kevin. 442 00:16:00,632 --> 00:16:02,808 - Okay, yeah, this place sucks, 443 00:16:02,852 --> 00:16:04,506 but I promise you're in for a show. 444 00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:07,117 - In this corner, the "Soul Man"! 445 00:16:07,161 --> 00:16:08,553 - Even though my dad wasn't wrestling 446 00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:10,338 in Madison Square Garden anymore, 447 00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:11,904 in his mind, he was. 448 00:16:11,948 --> 00:16:14,124 [Sam and Dave's "Soul Man"] 449 00:16:14,168 --> 00:16:18,172 - And his opponent, hailing from the ocean, 450 00:16:18,215 --> 00:16:20,870 the Gull! 451 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,393 - [screams] 452 00:16:22,437 --> 00:16:27,137 - Ooh, a dirty attack by the Gull before the bell. 453 00:16:27,181 --> 00:16:29,487 - And whether it was the Gull or Rick Flair 454 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,620 or Roddy Piper, 455 00:16:31,663 --> 00:16:33,056 anytime Rocky Johnson got in that ring, 456 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,058 he went all out. 457 00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:37,147 - ♪ That's what I got, the hard way ♪ 458 00:16:37,191 --> 00:16:39,715 ♪ And I'll make it better each and every day ♪ 459 00:16:39,758 --> 00:16:43,066 - It's so violent in real life. 460 00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:44,894 - Ah, ah! Ow! 461 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,591 - ♪ 'Cause you ain't seen nothing yet ♪ 462 00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:49,072 - If he doesn't sell and get his opponent over, 463 00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:51,422 there's no point in blowing his comeback. 464 00:16:51,466 --> 00:16:52,989 - What does that mean? 465 00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:55,383 - Ow! 466 00:16:55,426 --> 00:16:57,167 - ♪ I'm a soul man 467 00:16:57,211 --> 00:16:59,604 - Stop it! He's hurt! 468 00:16:59,648 --> 00:17:00,692 - ♪ I'm a soul man 469 00:17:00,736 --> 00:17:01,867 ♪ 470 00:17:01,911 --> 00:17:03,739 - Rocky reaches the ropes. 471 00:17:03,782 --> 00:17:06,697 The Gull has to let him go or be disqualified. 472 00:17:06,742 --> 00:17:08,526 [audience booing] - Caw! 473 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,745 - I hate you! 474 00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:13,531 - [mouthing words] 475 00:17:14,879 --> 00:17:17,666 - Nobody put on a show like the "Soul Man." 476 00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:20,668 - Rocky, Rocky, Rocky! 477 00:17:20,712 --> 00:17:22,497 [all chanting] Rocky, Rocky, Rocky! 478 00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:25,456 [crowd cheering] Rocky, Rocky, Rocky! 479 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,630 - ♪ I'm a soul man 480 00:17:26,675 --> 00:17:27,980 [all cheer] 481 00:17:28,023 --> 00:17:28,851 - [grunts] 482 00:17:28,894 --> 00:17:31,158 - ♪ I'm a soul man 483 00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:32,246 ♪ 484 00:17:32,289 --> 00:17:33,856 - Whoo! 485 00:17:33,899 --> 00:17:36,163 ♪ Well, grab the rope, let me pull you in ♪ 486 00:17:36,206 --> 00:17:38,121 ♪ Give you hope 487 00:17:38,165 --> 00:17:39,905 ♪ And be your only boyfriend 488 00:17:39,949 --> 00:17:42,430 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 489 00:17:42,473 --> 00:17:43,953 [crowd chanting] One, two... 490 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,128 - Three! 491 00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:46,825 [cheers and applause] 492 00:17:46,869 --> 00:17:49,132 - Like my dad, I had been exaggerating the truth 493 00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:52,309 to make myself look good, but when I finally got real 494 00:17:52,353 --> 00:17:55,573 and chose to be there for him over impressing the girl, 495 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,053 I somehow got the girl. 496 00:17:57,097 --> 00:17:58,620 - That was amazing! 497 00:17:58,663 --> 00:17:59,969 - What did I tell you? 498 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,841 Nobody puts on a show like my dad. 499 00:18:02,885 --> 00:18:06,018 [cheers and applause] 500 00:18:07,368 --> 00:18:09,065 - That was so fun. 501 00:18:09,109 --> 00:18:10,980 You set the bar high for our next date. 502 00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,503 - Next date? 503 00:18:12,547 --> 00:18:14,462 Oh, is that before or after you go rafting with Kevin? 504 00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:16,768 - Shut up. - Ah. 505 00:18:16,812 --> 00:18:17,769 - Hi, Rocky! - Hey. 506 00:18:17,813 --> 00:18:19,206 - Amazing, Dad. 507 00:18:19,249 --> 00:18:20,381 You put on a show. 508 00:18:20,424 --> 00:18:21,904 - You were so great, Mr. Johnson. 509 00:18:21,947 --> 00:18:24,080 - Why, thank you, Karen. Appreciate that, son. 510 00:18:24,124 --> 00:18:25,473 - I've never seen wrestling live before, 511 00:18:25,516 --> 00:18:27,475 and it was so much better than on TV. 512 00:18:27,518 --> 00:18:29,955 Kind of like that time I saw Kirk Cameron at the airport. 513 00:18:31,174 --> 00:18:32,610 - Hey, hell of a match, Rocky. Hell of a match. 514 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,046 - Finally, payday. 515 00:18:36,397 --> 00:18:38,312 Where's the rest? - That's $300. 516 00:18:38,355 --> 00:18:39,922 - It was 300 per match. 517 00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:41,445 I wrestled three matches for you. 518 00:18:41,489 --> 00:18:43,143 - No, 300 total. 519 00:18:45,536 --> 00:18:46,885 - Just give us a second. 520 00:18:46,929 --> 00:18:47,886 Business. 521 00:18:49,018 --> 00:18:51,281 - $300? That's all? 522 00:18:51,325 --> 00:18:53,370 - Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he doesn't do 523 00:18:53,414 --> 00:18:54,806 these smaller shows for money. 524 00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:56,504 He just does 'em as a favor to my uncles. 525 00:18:56,547 --> 00:18:58,201 - Oh. - Yeah. 526 00:18:58,245 --> 00:19:00,203 Still, though, you want to keep these local promoters honest. 527 00:19:00,247 --> 00:19:02,292 But he makes the real money at the big shows. 528 00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:04,816 - Oh, well, I'd love to see one of those. 529 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,818 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. 530 00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,037 I'll take you to the next one. 531 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,344 Hey, you know, my dad has a ton of merch. 532 00:19:10,387 --> 00:19:12,084 You want a hat? - Mm-hmm. 533 00:19:12,128 --> 00:19:13,869 - I'll bring you a hat on Monday. 534 00:19:13,912 --> 00:19:17,568 - ♪ So the wind might change direction ♪ 535 00:19:17,612 --> 00:19:21,050 ♪ And you stay always as you are ♪ 536 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,921 - I've always loved that song. 537 00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:24,227 - Dwayne said the show was great. 538 00:19:24,271 --> 00:19:25,620 - Hey, you know me. 539 00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:27,491 My worst day is someone else's best day. 540 00:19:27,535 --> 00:19:29,711 - [chuckles] 541 00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:31,495 - Hey, I'm sorry about the money. 542 00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:33,105 Hal swore he was-- - Hey. 543 00:19:33,149 --> 00:19:36,500 $300 is $300. We could use it. 544 00:19:36,544 --> 00:19:38,720 But next time, we gotta make sure you get paid upfront. 545 00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:40,330 - Definitely. 546 00:19:40,374 --> 00:19:43,812 Plus this convention in Erie will bring in some extra dough. 547 00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:46,380 Pose for pictures, sign some autographs. 548 00:19:46,423 --> 00:19:48,120 It'll be great. 549 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:54,431 Hey, babe, what's with this small, purple milk? 550 00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:55,867 - It's my little joy. 551 00:19:55,911 --> 00:19:57,129 I put it behind the cantaloupe 552 00:19:57,173 --> 00:19:58,653 so Dewey doesn't drink it all in one gulp. 553 00:19:58,696 --> 00:20:00,263 - Smart. 554 00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:02,265 No way that boy's going near a melon. 555 00:20:02,309 --> 00:20:03,266 - Mm-hmm. 556 00:20:05,268 --> 00:20:07,096 - That is a sweet end to the story. 557 00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,054 - Would've been, yeah, but that's not the end. 558 00:20:09,098 --> 00:20:10,752 - Unless we want it to be. 559 00:20:10,795 --> 00:20:12,144 - Sandy, please. 560 00:20:12,188 --> 00:20:14,973 - Can someone get this Sandy guy out of here? 561 00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:16,975 Bitch trying to step into my coverage. 562 00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:19,108 - Sorry about that. - That's okay. 563 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,284 - You know, Randall, look, I'm here to be honest, 564 00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:23,286 and that's why I told you this story. 565 00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:26,289 No one's perfect, and we all make mistakes. 566 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,335 I just happened to make a whole hell of a lot of them. 567 00:20:28,378 --> 00:20:30,032 - Hey, Karen. 568 00:20:30,075 --> 00:20:32,295 I brought you this. - Thanks. 569 00:20:32,339 --> 00:20:33,862 Nice jeans. 570 00:20:33,905 --> 00:20:35,646 I was just telling everyone about the match. 571 00:20:35,690 --> 00:20:37,213 When your dad did that sunset flip-- 572 00:20:37,257 --> 00:20:38,910 which was badass-- 573 00:20:38,954 --> 00:20:40,912 it, like, totally changed my life. 574 00:20:40,956 --> 00:20:43,828 - Ugh, at the flea market? 575 00:20:43,872 --> 00:20:46,309 - Ugh, yes, that part was disgusting. 576 00:20:46,353 --> 00:20:49,791 It was like a cursed mall, but the show was really fun. 577 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:52,359 - Aw, that's awesome, man. 578 00:20:52,402 --> 00:20:54,186 My neighbor's throwing a garage sale next week. 579 00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:55,710 Maybe your dad can main event that. 580 00:20:55,753 --> 00:20:57,581 [laughter] My brother was there. 581 00:20:57,625 --> 00:21:00,802 He said there were, like, ten people in the audience. 582 00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:02,020 There's ten people here right now. 583 00:21:02,064 --> 00:21:04,327 This was the audience. 584 00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:07,852 I mean, it doesn't even matter. Wrestling's all fake anyway. 585 00:21:10,159 --> 00:21:11,334 [crowd gasps] - Oh! 586 00:21:11,378 --> 00:21:12,379 - [gasps] 587 00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:16,121 - Never use the F-word. 588 00:21:16,165 --> 00:21:18,036 - Wait, so you knocked him out cold. 589 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,342 Ah. 590 00:21:19,386 --> 00:21:21,039 Um... 591 00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:23,825 we just scooped everyone in the country. 592 00:21:23,868 --> 00:21:25,479 - Scooped 'em all. - Yeah, we did. 593 00:21:25,522 --> 00:21:26,567 [both chuckle] 594 00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:27,698 - I think that's a good idea.