1 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:36,206 Rachel? Hi. 2 00:00:36,206 --> 00:00:38,510 What are you doing here? Didn't you move to New Jersey? 3 00:00:43,588 --> 00:00:45,291 Do you think she's gonna win? 4 00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:48,463 People really hate her. 5 00:00:48,463 --> 00:00:50,669 Rachel! 6 00:00:50,669 --> 00:00:52,572 What happened? 7 00:00:52,572 --> 00:00:54,208 What do you mean? You've been gone. 8 00:00:54,208 --> 00:00:55,779 You left-- 9 00:00:55,779 --> 00:00:57,281 Toby has been looking for you. 10 00:00:57,281 --> 00:01:00,321 Y-Your kids have been looking for you. 11 00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:02,157 You disappeared. 12 00:01:03,761 --> 00:01:05,865 Uh-- Can I ask you something? 13 00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:07,803 Yeah. 14 00:01:07,803 --> 00:01:10,341 I can't find my phone. 15 00:01:10,341 --> 00:01:11,877 And... Okay. 16 00:01:11,877 --> 00:01:14,315 I keep trying to ascertain... 17 00:01:14,315 --> 00:01:16,353 How many days are in July? 18 00:01:16,353 --> 00:01:18,256 I always forget that. 19 00:01:20,928 --> 00:01:23,433 Um... 20 00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:25,404 I'm just-- I'm gonna call Toby. 21 00:01:25,404 --> 00:01:27,140 No! Don't! 22 00:01:28,844 --> 00:01:31,349 No. I'm-- I feel like-- 23 00:01:31,349 --> 00:01:33,186 You know what? Let me just-- 24 00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:35,157 Let me just eat something. 25 00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:37,795 Um, I feel like I need some protein. 26 00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:41,403 Right. Um... 27 00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:43,473 Ri-- Just one-- one second. 28 00:01:43,473 --> 00:01:44,877 "Delayed further. 29 00:01:44,877 --> 00:01:47,481 Be home later. Sorry. Will explain." 30 00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:51,456 Um... 31 00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:53,393 Why don't I just take you home? 32 00:01:53,393 --> 00:01:54,897 Okay, sure. Yeah. No. 33 00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:57,536 It-- It'd be-- 34 00:01:57,536 --> 00:01:59,706 It'd be good to catch up. 35 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,703 Uh... 36 00:02:14,703 --> 00:02:17,609 I-I wasn't expecting anyone. 37 00:02:17,609 --> 00:02:19,913 Um... 38 00:02:19,913 --> 00:02:21,717 You know what it's like. Heh. 39 00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:29,633 Uh, do you-- do you want some coffee? 40 00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:30,902 I'm fine. 41 00:02:42,224 --> 00:02:45,397 I'm okay! 42 00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:47,268 Sorry. I just dropped it. 43 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,606 Um, I haven't used it 44 00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:51,409 in so long. 45 00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:55,350 Um, I-I haven't been drinking coffee, so... 46 00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:56,587 Uh-- What is going on? 47 00:02:56,587 --> 00:02:58,256 There are so many parts to this! 48 00:02:58,256 --> 00:02:59,760 Rachel. 49 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,964 I-I also have all this tea. 50 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,568 It might be easier. 51 00:03:03,568 --> 00:03:05,672 I, um-- I bought all this tea 52 00:03:05,672 --> 00:03:07,509 'cause I was having a hard time sleeping, 53 00:03:07,509 --> 00:03:10,582 but all it did was just keep me in the bathroom all night. 54 00:03:10,582 --> 00:03:13,654 I feel like I-I don't know where my toaster is, 55 00:03:13,654 --> 00:03:16,426 but-- but I do have some bread. 56 00:03:16,426 --> 00:03:17,895 Rachel. 57 00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:23,741 I want to be honest with you. 58 00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:30,220 I don't think I-I can make you coffee right now. 59 00:03:33,727 --> 00:03:35,564 That's okay. Uh... 60 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:39,038 Do-- Do you want to sit down? 61 00:03:39,038 --> 00:03:41,275 Okay. Let's... 62 00:03:42,645 --> 00:03:46,987 Why don't you just tell me what's going on? 63 00:03:46,987 --> 00:03:49,325 W-What do you mean? 64 00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:51,797 I won't tell anybody if you don't want me to. 65 00:03:51,797 --> 00:03:55,303 I just-- I want to help. 66 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:06,660 I got dumped. 67 00:04:07,929 --> 00:04:10,266 Yeah. By who? 68 00:04:14,943 --> 00:04:17,682 By everyone. Yeah. 69 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,357 Yeah, I g-guess I got dumped by everyone. 70 00:04:25,831 --> 00:04:27,602 I don't understand. 71 00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:31,577 So she started talking. 72 00:04:31,577 --> 00:04:33,748 At first, she didn't make sense. 73 00:04:33,748 --> 00:04:35,618 And she wasn't always coherent. 74 00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:37,556 She definitely did not tell me anything 75 00:04:37,556 --> 00:04:39,860 in the correct chronological order, 76 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:43,066 and it started a lot earlier than three weeks ago. 77 00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:46,072 But in the end, I understood it. 78 00:04:46,072 --> 00:04:49,412 What happened was that Rachel was busy. 79 00:04:49,412 --> 00:04:52,084 She was busier than she'd ever been. 80 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,656 It was last year-- months before Toby started 81 00:04:54,656 --> 00:04:56,092 asking Rachel for a divorce, 82 00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:57,796 back when they were still holding on. 83 00:04:57,796 --> 00:05:00,467 Yeah? Here's my counter. 84 00:05:01,770 --> 00:05:03,874 Sam Rothberg on the line? 85 00:05:07,549 --> 00:05:09,653 To what do I owe this rare pleasure? 86 00:05:09,653 --> 00:05:11,055 Hey, you! 87 00:05:11,055 --> 00:05:12,859 I have a huge favor to ask. 88 00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:15,030 Uh, my nephew is dying to get an agent. 89 00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:17,468 And he just-- Look, he just played Judas 90 00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:19,907 in Godspell at Wesleyan. He was really good. 91 00:05:19,907 --> 00:05:21,977 Oh, wonderful. That is not true. 92 00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:23,948 He was... fine. 93 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,987 Well, Godspell is terrible. 94 00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,526 It is. Anyway, I was wondering-- 95 00:05:29,526 --> 00:05:31,630 be honest if I'm asking too much here-- 96 00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,501 do you think you might be able to meet with him 97 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,372 and talk to him about the business? 98 00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:37,976 It would just be huge for him. 99 00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:39,445 Oh, sure I will. 100 00:05:39,445 --> 00:05:41,049 Um, I-I also know a casting director 101 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,119 he could maybe go and sit with for a while. 102 00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:45,390 Uh, why don't you give him my number? 103 00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,927 That's so great. I guess it's like everything else. 104 00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:48,864 It's-- It's who you know, yeah? 105 00:05:48,864 --> 00:05:51,436 So she said yes, because she always said yes. 106 00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:53,406 She didn't have time to be on committees 107 00:05:53,406 --> 00:05:55,578 and she didn't come from prestigious stock 108 00:05:55,578 --> 00:05:57,916 and she didn't have a house in Zermatt or whatever, 109 00:05:57,916 --> 00:05:59,586 but she was useful. 110 00:05:59,586 --> 00:06:01,857 Useful had worked for her so far. 111 00:06:01,857 --> 00:06:03,728 Then, a month later... 112 00:06:03,728 --> 00:06:06,032 I just honestly feel like I'm wasting my time at this point. 113 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,468 Why don't you circle back wh-- 114 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:08,904 No. I'm in the middle of-- 115 00:06:08,904 --> 00:06:10,173 Hi, there. 116 00:06:10,173 --> 00:06:13,514 Um, I-I gotta go, Joe. 117 00:06:13,514 --> 00:06:14,850 Circle back when you start making sense. 118 00:06:15,985 --> 00:06:17,656 Uh, what are you doing here? 119 00:06:17,656 --> 00:06:19,425 I had to thank you myself. 120 00:06:19,425 --> 00:06:21,462 Ohh! This is totally unnecessary! 121 00:06:21,462 --> 00:06:23,567 Are you kidding me? You just helped that kid leapfrog, like, 122 00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,872 10 entire steps in his career. 123 00:06:25,872 --> 00:06:28,744 Much to his parents' disappointment. 124 00:06:28,744 --> 00:06:30,915 You're amazing. No. Really. 125 00:06:30,915 --> 00:06:33,754 I know so few people who could get something like that done. 126 00:06:33,754 --> 00:06:36,660 I rarely see that kind of efficiency. 127 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:38,129 Well, Toby says if medicine 128 00:06:38,129 --> 00:06:40,200 were as well-run a machine as this office, 129 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,971 "doctors could afford to be doctors again." 130 00:06:41,971 --> 00:06:43,674 Heh. Totally. 131 00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:46,479 You know, doctors are the real heroes. 132 00:06:46,479 --> 00:06:48,718 Yeah. 133 00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:50,688 Um, come. Sit down. 134 00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:51,756 Hm! 135 00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:55,932 Wow. Look at this view. 136 00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:57,769 I just had a thought. 137 00:06:57,769 --> 00:07:00,875 We're trying to find a doctor to run our new cannabis division. 138 00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:02,812 You did this great thing for me. 139 00:07:02,812 --> 00:07:06,019 I could push Toby to the head of the line easy. 140 00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:07,589 Toby? 141 00:07:07,589 --> 00:07:08,824 Salary starts with a mill, then the bonus. 142 00:07:08,824 --> 00:07:11,563 You get the keys to the Vail house. 143 00:07:11,563 --> 00:07:14,068 Oh. Um, I don't know. 144 00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:16,072 Um, you should ask him. 145 00:07:16,072 --> 00:07:19,846 He's got this whole thing about "patient interface." 146 00:07:19,846 --> 00:07:21,583 He's not likely to say yes. 147 00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:23,620 I'm gonna ask him. 148 00:07:25,725 --> 00:07:28,263 Hey, are you... almost done for the day? 149 00:07:28,263 --> 00:07:30,167 You want to get a drink? 150 00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:33,073 Was it weird that her best school-mom-friend's husband 151 00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:34,241 was at her office? 152 00:07:34,241 --> 00:07:38,283 Um-- I can't. 153 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:41,724 I've-- I've got too much to do here. 154 00:07:41,724 --> 00:07:43,828 Was it weird that he wanted to go out with her? 155 00:07:43,828 --> 00:07:45,565 Do you have a curfew? 156 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:46,600 Yes. 157 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,702 Good, crazy, but... 158 00:07:47,702 --> 00:07:50,240 Yes, it was. Yeah. 159 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,044 Rachel had met Miriam Rothberg 160 00:07:52,044 --> 00:07:54,014 in a Mommy and Me Class six years earlier. 161 00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:57,054 After a lifetime of shallow friendships that never endured, 162 00:07:57,054 --> 00:07:59,191 Rachel had been determined to play it cool 163 00:07:59,191 --> 00:08:01,062 so that the stench of her desperation 164 00:08:01,062 --> 00:08:02,732 could no longer be detected. 165 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,268 She should have been the nominee. 166 00:08:04,268 --> 00:08:05,838 Sam says he doesn't like her voice, 167 00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:07,307 but, what, you need to like her voice? 168 00:08:07,307 --> 00:08:09,011 Honestly! 169 00:08:09,011 --> 00:08:10,280 We flew with them private 170 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,050 to the Tennessee fundraiser that fall... 171 00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,088 Miriam had the line on nursery schools, 172 00:08:14,088 --> 00:08:16,325 on the concierge pediatrician who gave you his cell. 173 00:08:16,325 --> 00:08:18,296 She was on the board of everything. 174 00:08:18,296 --> 00:08:21,537 Her family fortune came from a dubious pharmaceutical company. 175 00:08:21,537 --> 00:08:23,674 They're pretty litigious. I shouldn't say their name. 176 00:08:23,674 --> 00:08:25,177 Well, I was going to send her to Spence 177 00:08:25,177 --> 00:08:27,247 because I went there, but then I had a boy 178 00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:29,285 and I want them to go to the same school, 179 00:08:29,285 --> 00:08:32,759 so I was thinking Lois Francis instead maybe? 180 00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:34,896 Miriam was so far ahead of the game 181 00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,700 that private-school applications 182 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,303 were just a formality. 183 00:08:38,303 --> 00:08:40,140 What are you doing right now? 184 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,678 I have to get back to work. 185 00:08:44,081 --> 00:08:47,054 I have an agency. I'm an agent. A theater agent. 186 00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,724 What?! 187 00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:51,129 That is so interesting! Actors, writers, what? 188 00:08:51,129 --> 00:08:53,601 Oh, everyone. Yeah. I-I represent the team 189 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,838 Lindenblatt, Silberman and Wadler... Okay. 190 00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:57,040 ...from Camps Come Here. 191 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,911 And Loenberg, the singer. 192 00:08:58,911 --> 00:09:00,915 Do you remember Alejandra Lopez? 193 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,652 Remind me? The Suffrage Monologues? 194 00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:05,625 Yes! Right! What's she doing now? I love the theater. 195 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,929 Yeah, no, she's, um-- she's developing something. 196 00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:11,737 It's pretty incredible. I shouldn't say more. 197 00:09:11,737 --> 00:09:13,908 God, I just want to blow off the rest of the day 198 00:09:13,908 --> 00:09:15,678 and go see something. 199 00:09:15,678 --> 00:09:16,946 Come with me. 200 00:09:17,615 --> 00:09:19,719 Well-- I should get back to work. 201 00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:21,824 The agency-- You work every day? 202 00:09:21,824 --> 00:09:23,393 I do. I work every day. 203 00:09:23,393 --> 00:09:26,032 And the time I don't work goes to the kids, so... 204 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,267 You need some you-time. 205 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,938 Ugh. Yeah. 206 00:09:28,938 --> 00:09:31,008 You know, on an airplane, the thing's going down, 207 00:09:31,008 --> 00:09:32,712 you put your own oxygen mask on first 208 00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:34,783 before you put it on the kids. 209 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:38,155 So... are we blowing off today or what? 210 00:09:40,861 --> 00:09:42,932 I could get us tickets right now. 211 00:09:42,932 --> 00:09:45,136 To anything you want. Uh, yeah, let's do it. 212 00:09:45,136 --> 00:09:46,673 Yay! Yeah. 213 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:47,909 Uh, let me just unplug a few things. 214 00:09:47,909 --> 00:09:49,646 Okay. Great. I'll go home and change. 215 00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:51,249 Okay. Yes! 216 00:09:51,249 --> 00:09:54,154 And suddenly, Rachel and Miriam were friends. 217 00:09:54,154 --> 00:09:57,194 Good. And lifting up. Don't let that tailbone come up. 218 00:09:57,194 --> 00:10:00,735 And then Miriam's friends were Rachel's friends. 219 00:10:00,735 --> 00:10:02,639 Pull together. 220 00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:05,912 Three more times. And open wide. 221 00:10:05,912 --> 00:10:08,984 Rachel had this whole little Upper East Side gang. 222 00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:12,157 It was a second full-time job, 223 00:10:12,157 --> 00:10:14,395 but she was willing to work it. 224 00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,106 Her mother had died, and her grandmother 225 00:10:20,106 --> 00:10:22,211 had sent Rachel to a fancy Catholic school 226 00:10:22,211 --> 00:10:24,749 even though they were poor and her mother had been Jewish. 227 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,385 Everyone there was named Catherine, 228 00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:28,122 and they took tennis lessons and all seemed to know 229 00:10:28,122 --> 00:10:30,761 each other from Nantucket or St. Moritz. 230 00:10:30,761 --> 00:10:33,867 She understood that it wasn't her lack of money and proximity 231 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,337 that made her an outsider. 232 00:10:35,337 --> 00:10:37,374 It was that her lack of proximity and money 233 00:10:37,374 --> 00:10:40,280 created an outsider's desperation in her. 234 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,152 But, also, sophistication is a language. 235 00:10:43,152 --> 00:10:45,290 You're either born speaking it... 236 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:48,964 or you always speak with an accent. 237 00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:51,335 But then... she met Toby. 238 00:10:54,876 --> 00:10:56,880 So, I was, like, maybe thinking that this would be 239 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,082 a good time for us to kiss? 240 00:10:58,082 --> 00:10:59,919 Yeah? You want-- 241 00:11:01,422 --> 00:11:03,861 Toby couldn't hear her accent. 242 00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:14,114 So, where's your family from, Rachel? 243 00:11:14,114 --> 00:11:15,350 We're from Baltimore. 244 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:16,920 But I don't have a lot of family. 245 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,489 My mother died when I was young. 246 00:11:18,489 --> 00:11:21,162 Um, cancer. She was a single mother. 247 00:11:21,162 --> 00:11:23,499 That's so sad. Who raised you? 248 00:11:23,499 --> 00:11:24,970 My grandmother. 249 00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:26,205 Ugh! That's terrible. 250 00:11:26,205 --> 00:11:27,976 No, it's okay. No. 251 00:11:27,976 --> 00:11:29,211 It's too young to not have a mother. 252 00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,881 I lost my mother last year. 253 00:11:30,881 --> 00:11:34,287 I had her all this time, and I still feel like an orphan. 254 00:11:36,358 --> 00:11:37,861 I'm sorry. 255 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,941 You know, uh, you won't believe who I ran into. 256 00:11:43,941 --> 00:11:45,410 Who? Stu. 257 00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:47,180 - Which Stu? - Stu and Jessica. 258 00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:49,084 Stu and Jessica?! Oh, no! 259 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,857 Rachel had been saying it was okay for so long. 260 00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:53,393 Um, where's your bathroom? 261 00:11:53,393 --> 00:11:55,497 It's through there, dear. 262 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:58,469 You have to understand-- Rachel never had a family. 263 00:11:59,873 --> 00:12:01,475 You okay in there? 264 00:12:07,955 --> 00:12:09,859 I'm great. 265 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,162 You're doing amazing. 266 00:12:11,162 --> 00:12:12,932 No, I know that. Yeah. You too. You too. 267 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,435 No. Okay. 268 00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:15,972 Wait. Yup. 269 00:12:15,972 --> 00:12:17,140 No. We need to take it that way. No. Wrong. 270 00:12:17,140 --> 00:12:18,343 Nope, nope, nope. Wrong direction. 271 00:12:18,343 --> 00:12:20,815 This is much heavier than it looks. Okay! 272 00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:24,522 This is the way to move forward in life from here on out. 273 00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:29,231 It was true. She was great. 274 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,406 And then she wasn't. 275 00:12:33,406 --> 00:12:35,811 I don't know. If you're not progressing, if it were me, 276 00:12:35,811 --> 00:12:37,280 I'd talk to the doctor about pulling the plug 277 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,851 on this induction. Right? 278 00:12:38,851 --> 00:12:40,253 No, I think we should take a second and-- 279 00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:41,455 and catch our breath, okay? 280 00:12:41,455 --> 00:12:43,059 Tell him you'll stay in the hospital. 281 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:45,363 Just tell him you'll do what he says. 282 00:12:47,869 --> 00:12:50,173 - Hello in there! - We heard you were here! 283 00:12:50,173 --> 00:12:51,409 Get them away. 284 00:12:51,409 --> 00:12:54,314 Yeah. Hi, guys. Hey. Come with me. 285 00:12:54,314 --> 00:12:55,851 Yeah. 286 00:13:01,095 --> 00:13:04,301 Um, did you hear from Dr. Goldberg? 287 00:13:04,301 --> 00:13:06,372 I told you. I'm covering. 288 00:13:06,372 --> 00:13:10,246 I've done this at least five or six times before. 289 00:13:10,246 --> 00:13:13,620 Okay. I-- Um-- 290 00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:17,562 My husband is-- is, um, gonna, um... 291 00:13:17,562 --> 00:13:19,866 D-Do you think that maybe we should stop the induction? 292 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,369 Because my-- my blood pressure is-- 293 00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:23,574 is lower now, I'm not progressing, 294 00:13:23,574 --> 00:13:26,045 I'm exhausted from the Stadol. 295 00:13:26,045 --> 00:13:28,449 Um, it made me hallucinate all night last night. 296 00:13:28,449 --> 00:13:30,353 I didn't want the epidural yet. 297 00:13:30,353 --> 00:13:32,892 Let's just see what's going on in there, 298 00:13:32,892 --> 00:13:36,967 and then, if you're still not progressing, we'll talk. 299 00:13:41,175 --> 00:13:44,549 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 300 00:13:44,549 --> 00:13:47,254 I-I-Is this-- Is this just supposed to be a-- 301 00:13:47,254 --> 00:13:49,324 Ow! 302 00:13:49,324 --> 00:13:51,061 This is not an exam. 303 00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:52,965 There is some leakage here. 304 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,234 Ow! Ow! Get me the hook. 305 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,971 What is he doing?! What are you doing?! 306 00:13:59,178 --> 00:14:02,350 Ow! Ow! Fuck! 307 00:14:02,350 --> 00:14:06,392 What the fuck are you doing to me?! Stop it! 308 00:14:06,392 --> 00:14:08,329 Hey, hey, hey! What the hell is going on in here?! 309 00:14:08,329 --> 00:14:11,168 Stop it! 310 00:14:22,423 --> 00:14:23,927 Scalpel. 311 00:14:32,611 --> 00:14:35,651 There she was, paralyzed-- literally paralyzed-- 312 00:14:35,651 --> 00:14:38,557 splayed out like she'd been crucified. 313 00:14:38,557 --> 00:14:40,594 Everything in her told her to get up and run, 314 00:14:40,594 --> 00:14:42,565 to make a break for it. 315 00:14:42,565 --> 00:14:44,502 But she couldn't. 316 00:14:44,502 --> 00:14:48,610 Any power she ever thought she had was suddenly gone. 317 00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,248 You're doing great, honey, okay? 318 00:15:07,648 --> 00:15:09,686 You're almost there. 319 00:15:20,306 --> 00:15:21,977 Oh, my God! It's-- It's a girl! 320 00:15:21,977 --> 00:15:23,713 Rachel! Rachel, it's a girl! 321 00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:28,121 It was the worst day of her life. 322 00:15:38,409 --> 00:15:41,382 I think you should hold the baby 323 00:15:41,382 --> 00:15:43,554 I still can't feel my legs. It's not safe. 324 00:15:43,554 --> 00:15:45,524 What if I have to run? 325 00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:51,969 Okay. 326 00:15:54,074 --> 00:15:55,310 Give her to me. 327 00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:58,049 You want to go to Mommy now? 328 00:15:58,049 --> 00:16:01,422 Okay. Okay, honey. 329 00:16:01,422 --> 00:16:03,158 Okay. Your mommy. 330 00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:07,500 Rachel looked down and knew 331 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,739 that the baby knew what she was thinking. 332 00:16:12,077 --> 00:16:14,716 She knew... and would never forgive her. 333 00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:28,209 This was Rachel's introduction to motherhood. 334 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,303 You can go. I'm fine. Really. 335 00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,585 Ahh. Hey. 336 00:17:39,585 --> 00:17:41,254 How-- How was your day? 337 00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:57,454 Hey, I'm not-- I'm not telling you what to do, 338 00:17:57,454 --> 00:17:59,692 but I think you should-- I'm not going to a therapist. 339 00:17:59,692 --> 00:18:01,830 ...speak to someone. Okay. 340 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:06,740 I-I don't-- I don't feel sad. 341 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:10,279 Just... crazy. 342 00:18:10,279 --> 00:18:12,317 Like I'm a car stuck in a gear. 343 00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:14,689 But awareness that I'm a car stuck in a gear doesn't help. 344 00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:16,826 See? I just-- Just crazy. 345 00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:19,231 Yeah, therapists deal with crazy. 346 00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:20,567 So do psychiatrists. 347 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,540 That's, like-- That's their whole thing. 348 00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,309 What's that? 349 00:18:25,309 --> 00:18:27,414 Oh, yeah, somebody, uh-- 350 00:18:27,414 --> 00:18:30,152 somebody from the agency dropped this off. 351 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,653 These are so weird. 352 00:18:46,653 --> 00:18:48,590 I'm glad they're already training our daughter 353 00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:50,560 for the fighting arts. 354 00:18:55,369 --> 00:18:57,474 Hey. Come on. How about getting in touch 355 00:18:57,474 --> 00:18:59,177 with one of your friends? 356 00:18:59,177 --> 00:19:00,748 Everyone's working. 357 00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,885 Those are not your friends. Those are your colleagues. 358 00:19:02,885 --> 00:19:04,889 What about the women from the prenatal yoga? 359 00:19:04,889 --> 00:19:07,460 You liked them, right? Why don't you get in touch with them? 360 00:19:07,460 --> 00:19:09,330 Get a coffee with them. 361 00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:21,488 I'm gonna take Hannah for a walk, okay? 362 00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,492 She had taken a prenatal yoga class, 363 00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:26,633 and all the women kept in touch on an e-mail chain. 364 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,770 Those had to be her friends. Right? 365 00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:55,958 She had searched their e-mails for signs that the birth 366 00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:58,964 they'd had was the same kind of nightmare she'd had. 367 00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,868 But there was no indication. 368 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:03,807 The women joked that their vaginas needed to bounce back, 369 00:20:03,807 --> 00:20:06,245 their breasts needed to bounce back. 370 00:20:06,245 --> 00:20:08,382 Would their abdomens ever bounce back? 371 00:20:09,819 --> 00:20:11,790 "Can't. We're in the Hamptons." 372 00:20:13,325 --> 00:20:14,729 "We're sleep-training. 373 00:20:14,729 --> 00:20:16,966 I can't go anywhere. Sleeping emoji." 374 00:20:19,304 --> 00:20:20,941 The phrase "bounce back" 375 00:20:20,941 --> 00:20:24,582 seemed like it existed to make fun of her. 376 00:20:24,582 --> 00:20:26,986 There was no bouncing. 377 00:20:26,986 --> 00:20:28,890 There was no back. 378 00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:30,861 It's Rachel. 379 00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:32,698 Hey. We just got back from the Hamptons. 380 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:35,737 Oh, right. Well, we should-- we should get together. 381 00:20:35,737 --> 00:20:37,340 We'll find a window. 382 00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:39,645 It's just been so crazy since she was born. 383 00:20:46,358 --> 00:20:47,862 Well, I'll-- I'll-- I'll see ya. 384 00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:49,731 Okay. Bye. 385 00:20:56,344 --> 00:20:58,783 The rejection nearly knocked her over. 386 00:21:08,068 --> 00:21:09,872 In the afternoons, she had a good hour 387 00:21:09,872 --> 00:21:12,343 of Hannah sleeping before Toby came home. 388 00:21:18,656 --> 00:21:20,493 She called that her me-time. 389 00:21:28,910 --> 00:21:30,613 But she was being funny. 390 00:21:33,051 --> 00:21:34,487 I ruined her. 391 00:21:34,487 --> 00:21:36,659 No, no. Don't say that. This is normal. 392 00:21:36,659 --> 00:21:38,796 A lot of mothers go through this, honey. 393 00:22:00,573 --> 00:22:02,845 Please, come in. Welcome, dear. 394 00:22:19,578 --> 00:22:24,956 I kept trying to explain it to my mother, but I couldn't. 395 00:22:24,956 --> 00:22:27,828 She knew she hadn't been raped, but when she saw that sign, 396 00:22:27,828 --> 00:22:29,966 she knew that inside that room would be people 397 00:22:29,966 --> 00:22:31,703 who understood what she'd been through-- 398 00:22:31,703 --> 00:22:33,873 far more than the people in a postpartum depression 399 00:22:33,873 --> 00:22:35,476 support group would. 400 00:22:35,476 --> 00:22:37,814 Would you like to share anything with the group? 401 00:23:11,047 --> 00:23:12,918 You're okay. 402 00:23:25,510 --> 00:23:26,745 It's okay. 403 00:23:34,795 --> 00:23:36,464 We understand. 404 00:23:43,813 --> 00:23:45,851 Hey. How was it? 405 00:23:45,851 --> 00:23:48,022 It was fine. It was good. 406 00:23:48,022 --> 00:23:51,094 You wanna talk about it? 407 00:23:51,094 --> 00:23:53,131 Cannot do any more talking. 408 00:23:55,537 --> 00:23:57,473 Now, there's my wife. 409 00:24:07,728 --> 00:24:11,268 For a while, the world seemed to have some light in it again. 410 00:24:24,962 --> 00:24:27,801 But then, one day, on the way to her group... 411 00:24:45,670 --> 00:24:49,144 She had four floors to say to him, "Look what you did. 412 00:24:49,144 --> 00:24:52,049 Look what you did to a perfectly good person!" 413 00:24:59,230 --> 00:25:01,300 But she didn't say anything. 414 00:25:02,771 --> 00:25:04,675 What was it that he'd seen in her 415 00:25:04,675 --> 00:25:07,981 that would make him think that she would tolerate that?! 416 00:25:14,762 --> 00:25:16,966 How had he looked at her-- at Rachel-- 417 00:25:16,966 --> 00:25:20,039 and thought, "Now, there's someone I can victimize"? 418 00:25:40,881 --> 00:25:42,917 She wasn't a victim! 419 00:25:45,924 --> 00:25:48,763 She was Rachel Fucking Fleishman! 420 00:26:12,376 --> 00:26:14,214 It fits, motherfuckers. 421 00:26:29,443 --> 00:26:31,682 She is so cute. 422 00:26:33,786 --> 00:26:35,824 So when do you go back? 423 00:26:35,824 --> 00:26:37,426 Funny you should ask. 424 00:26:37,426 --> 00:26:40,734 That's what I want to talk to you about. 425 00:26:40,734 --> 00:26:42,136 Remember when I met you? 426 00:26:42,136 --> 00:26:44,941 That Edith Wilson musical you wanted to do? 427 00:26:47,046 --> 00:26:48,949 I can't stop thinking about it. 428 00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:55,162 I see. 429 00:26:55,162 --> 00:26:58,435 Crappy bar, far from the theater district. 430 00:26:58,435 --> 00:27:02,945 Secret meeting formed without the use of assistants. 431 00:27:02,945 --> 00:27:06,184 Rachel Fleishman, are you leaving Alfooz? 432 00:27:07,486 --> 00:27:09,959 Matt is gonna shit himself. 433 00:27:09,959 --> 00:27:13,098 You have so much talent and such a singular vision, 434 00:27:13,098 --> 00:27:15,904 and they put you in TV writers' rooms. 435 00:27:15,904 --> 00:27:17,674 It's where the money is. 436 00:27:17,674 --> 00:27:19,979 That's where the money is for an agency that thinks small. 437 00:27:19,979 --> 00:27:22,951 If you have a hit, that's where the actual money is. 438 00:27:22,951 --> 00:27:25,957 But a person has to believe you have a hit. 439 00:27:31,835 --> 00:27:33,404 And you know what? 440 00:27:38,048 --> 00:27:39,784 She was right. 441 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:47,133 Every day, there was a new demand, 442 00:27:47,133 --> 00:27:50,172 a new client, a new assistant. I'm sorry. 443 00:27:50,172 --> 00:27:52,310 You wouldn't have to apologize if you'd been paying attention. 444 00:27:52,310 --> 00:27:54,480 Someone had to be trained or fired or poached 445 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,151 or visited in rehab. 446 00:27:56,151 --> 00:27:57,854 It took up all her streams of attention 447 00:27:57,854 --> 00:27:59,357 so that when she finally got home... 448 00:27:59,357 --> 00:28:01,094 Hey, cutie. 449 00:28:01,094 --> 00:28:02,864 I thought you'd be home at 7:00. 450 00:28:02,864 --> 00:28:04,233 Oh, I was delayed. 451 00:28:04,233 --> 00:28:06,973 Yeah, well, you didn't answer me today. 452 00:28:06,973 --> 00:28:09,310 Oh, God. I don't even know what happened today. 453 00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:11,782 I-I'm sorry. What was it? 454 00:28:11,782 --> 00:28:14,822 Passover. 455 00:28:14,822 --> 00:28:17,794 Oh, well, y-you could have called Simone. 456 00:28:17,794 --> 00:28:20,032 I shouldn't have to call my wife through an assistant. 457 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:23,005 She's got the schedule up. H-Honestly, Toby. 458 00:28:23,005 --> 00:28:24,808 Okay, well, you don't have to call a nurse 459 00:28:24,808 --> 00:28:26,444 to get me on the phone. 460 00:28:29,551 --> 00:28:30,920 Well? 461 00:28:33,158 --> 00:28:34,962 We can't go to your family's for the whole week. 462 00:28:34,962 --> 00:28:38,936 I've got previews. Maybe we could just go for the seders? 463 00:28:38,936 --> 00:28:40,774 You're like a 1950s dad. Like, you come in, 464 00:28:40,774 --> 00:28:42,844 you pat the kids on the head, and then you're gone. 465 00:28:42,844 --> 00:28:44,347 What the fuck kind of thing is that to say? 466 00:28:44,347 --> 00:28:46,484 I-I can't take a whole week off. 467 00:28:46,484 --> 00:28:48,055 Most people can't. No, I know. I know. 468 00:28:48,055 --> 00:28:49,490 You can't do a whole week at my parents' 469 00:28:49,490 --> 00:28:51,161 because we need more money. You know what? 470 00:28:51,161 --> 00:28:52,898 Why don't I call down to, like, the concierge 471 00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:54,400 and the doorman and the assistant 472 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,971 and tell them that we don't have enough money yet? 473 00:28:55,971 --> 00:28:57,774 Toby, what would you do if you couldn't pretend 474 00:28:57,774 --> 00:28:59,344 that you didn't enjoy our money? 475 00:28:59,344 --> 00:29:01,882 What would it be like for you if you couldn't live like a king 476 00:29:01,882 --> 00:29:03,853 and pretend it was a moral failing of mine 477 00:29:03,853 --> 00:29:05,489 to force you to live this terrible existence? 478 00:29:05,489 --> 00:29:07,293 Sorry. That-- You're talking about me now? 479 00:29:07,293 --> 00:29:08,796 Yes! Okay. 480 00:29:08,796 --> 00:29:10,165 Yeah, you get to sit back like a martyr and-- 481 00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,836 and pretend you're an angel. 482 00:29:11,836 --> 00:29:13,940 "No, I only love the-- the patient interface. 483 00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:16,211 I don't need to live on actual money. I hate money." 484 00:29:16,211 --> 00:29:18,315 No, I don't hate money. I just don't choose it over everything. 485 00:29:18,315 --> 00:29:20,219 I choose money over everything? Yeah. 486 00:29:20,219 --> 00:29:23,826 No. I choose-- I choose safety over everything. 487 00:29:23,826 --> 00:29:26,599 I choose acceptance for our kids over everything. Oh, please. Stop. 488 00:29:26,599 --> 00:29:28,268 The only reason you can't see that 489 00:29:28,268 --> 00:29:30,372 is because you've always had those things. 490 00:29:30,372 --> 00:29:33,111 I mean, don't-- don't you see? Yeah, we have enough, Rachel. 491 00:29:33,111 --> 00:29:35,550 Like, at some point, like, it has to be enough. 492 00:29:35,550 --> 00:29:39,023 Look. It's not-- It's not just about money. 493 00:29:39,023 --> 00:29:40,894 It's about their friendships. 494 00:29:40,894 --> 00:29:42,864 Oh, it's their friend-- Let them choose their own friends. 495 00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:44,935 What?! What, you think you just sit there 496 00:29:44,935 --> 00:29:47,974 and friends come to you? 497 00:29:47,974 --> 00:29:50,479 Sorry. Do you have any idea how fucked-up what you just said is? 498 00:29:50,479 --> 00:29:52,884 Like, any idea? Because, yes, of co-- 499 00:29:52,884 --> 00:29:54,454 Sorry. Yes, of course, I do. 500 00:29:54,454 --> 00:29:56,324 Because we are networking them, aren't we? No, right. 501 00:29:56,324 --> 00:29:58,629 Why don't we have, like, their possible friends' agents call 502 00:29:58,629 --> 00:30:00,567 so we can, like, get the ball rolling on them? 503 00:30:00,567 --> 00:30:02,203 Would that be a good idea? 504 00:30:02,203 --> 00:30:03,573 You're mimicking me? No, I'm... 505 00:30:03,573 --> 00:30:05,577 Toby could set up a playdate, sure. 506 00:30:05,577 --> 00:30:07,981 He could offer to take the kids to the doctor. 507 00:30:07,981 --> 00:30:09,484 But he wasn't a mother. 508 00:30:09,484 --> 00:30:11,989 The system was run by mothers, for mothers. 509 00:30:11,989 --> 00:30:13,960 People talk about the expectations 510 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,897 that are heaped upon mothers, 511 00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:18,468 but the expectations come from the mothers themselves-- 512 00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:21,141 the moms' nights out, the fundraisers, 513 00:30:21,141 --> 00:30:22,443 the book drives, 514 00:30:22,443 --> 00:30:24,247 the yoga classes, the friendships. 515 00:30:24,247 --> 00:30:26,619 Well, that's a relief. 516 00:30:26,619 --> 00:30:27,921 Forgot the nose. 517 00:30:27,921 --> 00:30:29,290 - Oh. - Ohh. 518 00:30:29,290 --> 00:30:30,358 Hm. 519 00:30:33,097 --> 00:30:34,434 - Honestly? - Go! Go! 520 00:30:34,434 --> 00:30:36,004 - Sam? - Have fun, ladies. 521 00:30:36,004 --> 00:30:37,106 Bye, Sam. 522 00:30:38,576 --> 00:30:41,481 Oh, I wish I'd had a third. But Toby said no. 523 00:30:41,481 --> 00:30:44,621 He said I work too much for another child. 524 00:30:44,621 --> 00:30:46,191 Well, we all work. 525 00:30:46,191 --> 00:30:48,428 God, I wish I had a job. It sounds like a vacation. 526 00:30:48,428 --> 00:30:51,367 Seriously. Someone, employ me. Right? 527 00:30:51,367 --> 00:30:54,107 Can I go on maternity leave from motherhood? 528 00:30:54,107 --> 00:30:57,346 And there it was. 529 00:30:57,346 --> 00:30:59,618 The hideous thing that divided the two kinds of women 530 00:30:59,618 --> 00:31:01,655 there were in the world that Rachel lived in. 531 00:31:01,655 --> 00:31:04,595 The working mothers and the stay-at-home mothers. 532 00:31:04,595 --> 00:31:06,599 Rachel knew the truth, which was that the culture 533 00:31:06,599 --> 00:31:08,669 was so condescending to stay-at-home mothers 534 00:31:08,669 --> 00:31:11,341 that we allowed them the fiction that being a mother 535 00:31:11,341 --> 00:31:13,178 was the hardest job in the world. 536 00:31:13,178 --> 00:31:14,615 Well, it wasn't. 537 00:31:14,615 --> 00:31:16,685 Having an actual job and being a mother 538 00:31:16,685 --> 00:31:18,589 is the hardest job in the world. 539 00:31:18,589 --> 00:31:20,693 You don't have to say it. It's obvious. 540 00:31:20,693 --> 00:31:23,365 It was two full-time jobs. It's just math. 541 00:31:23,365 --> 00:31:26,471 Keeping track of your kids from afar is not easier. 542 00:31:26,471 --> 00:31:29,277 Entrusting them to a stranger is not easier. 543 00:31:29,277 --> 00:31:32,717 Nothing makes it easier. That's what Rachel knew. 544 00:31:32,717 --> 00:31:35,021 But you know what she also knew? 545 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:43,305 That these friends of hers could be gone in a minute. 546 00:31:43,305 --> 00:31:45,042 Hardest job in the world. 547 00:31:45,042 --> 00:31:46,979 Ahh. Cheers to that. 548 00:31:50,319 --> 00:31:53,659 It wasn't an insult. I mean, it was a job offer. 549 00:31:53,659 --> 00:31:55,663 Are you paranoid? What-- What you do is good enough, 550 00:31:55,663 --> 00:31:58,168 but you should always take the meeting. Everyone knows that. 551 00:31:58,168 --> 00:31:59,605 Oh, it's "good enough" to be a doctor? 552 00:31:59,605 --> 00:32:01,241 Why, thank you so much for approving 553 00:32:01,241 --> 00:32:03,044 of the full-time job I've had for 20 years. 554 00:32:03,044 --> 00:32:04,180 God, what planet am I on? 555 00:32:04,180 --> 00:32:06,050 No, I-I'm not saying you should-- 556 00:32:06,050 --> 00:32:08,355 You know what? You have no respect for me. 557 00:32:08,355 --> 00:32:10,025 Respect?! Yeah. 558 00:32:10,025 --> 00:32:11,996 He said the base salary's a mill. That's respect. 559 00:32:11,996 --> 00:32:13,733 Oh, you have a nickname for a million dollars, too? 560 00:32:13,733 --> 00:32:15,402 Wow. Congratulations. That is adorable. 561 00:32:15,402 --> 00:32:17,339 No, don't do that to me. You know, I'm sitting here 562 00:32:17,339 --> 00:32:19,010 wondering if we're gonna look back on this 563 00:32:19,010 --> 00:32:22,016 and wonder why we hung on for so long. 564 00:32:22,016 --> 00:32:24,521 Wha-- What are you talking about? 565 00:32:24,521 --> 00:32:27,159 Come on. You can't possibly think this is working. 566 00:32:32,402 --> 00:32:34,006 Toby, do you understand 567 00:32:34,006 --> 00:32:37,012 I don't even have time to get a divorce? 568 00:32:41,087 --> 00:32:44,026 But the truth was, every time he brought up divorce, 569 00:32:44,026 --> 00:32:48,134 she felt the phantom limb of abandonment, 570 00:32:48,134 --> 00:32:50,038 her age-old wound. 571 00:32:56,619 --> 00:32:59,457 This is exactly what I'm talking about. She makes no time for us. 572 00:32:59,457 --> 00:33:02,797 Toby. I'm here. Is this not time for us? 573 00:33:02,797 --> 00:33:04,568 Yeah, so, we used to take these long walks together. 574 00:33:04,568 --> 00:33:06,204 Now I cannot remember a time we took a walk together. 575 00:33:06,204 --> 00:33:07,540 Toby, for all your love of physics, 576 00:33:07,540 --> 00:33:09,678 you can't quite grasp that if we walk to dinner 577 00:33:09,678 --> 00:33:12,182 35 blocks away instead of letting me finish the e-mail 578 00:33:12,182 --> 00:33:13,686 in the cab on the way there, 579 00:33:13,686 --> 00:33:15,823 I will be finishing the e-mail at the table. 580 00:33:15,823 --> 00:33:18,663 The e-mail isn't optional. The e-mail is the entire thing. 581 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,633 I don't know. I think some people would say it could all wait. 582 00:33:20,633 --> 00:33:22,469 What could wait? No. Tell me-- 583 00:33:22,469 --> 00:33:24,741 Tell me what I do that could wait. 584 00:33:24,741 --> 00:33:26,812 Anyone who has ever been to just one session 585 00:33:26,812 --> 00:33:28,549 of couples therapy could tell you 586 00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:31,187 that beyond your point of view lies an abyss 587 00:33:31,187 --> 00:33:33,425 with a bubbling cauldron of fire 588 00:33:33,425 --> 00:33:35,295 and that just beyond that abyss 589 00:33:35,295 --> 00:33:37,333 lies your spouse's point of view. 590 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:38,769 Rachel and Toby tried to fix it. 591 00:33:38,769 --> 00:33:40,238 I will be finishing the e-- 592 00:33:40,238 --> 00:33:41,809 Wait while you say hello to your family. 593 00:33:41,809 --> 00:33:44,246 That's all! But the thing wasn't broken. 594 00:33:52,262 --> 00:33:54,801 Yeah. Sorry. Do you see how angry she is? 595 00:33:56,538 --> 00:33:58,274 It was gone. 596 00:34:04,821 --> 00:34:07,125 And then... it was over. 597 00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:13,338 She had spent so much time hyperventilating 598 00:34:13,338 --> 00:34:15,743 and terrified of him leaving, of the actual 599 00:34:15,743 --> 00:34:19,851 one-day-he-wouldn't-be-there of it all, 600 00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:21,588 that she was shocked to find out 601 00:34:21,588 --> 00:34:23,825 that when it finally happened... 602 00:34:27,466 --> 00:34:29,436 ...it was... fine. 603 00:34:31,641 --> 00:34:34,146 It was... good. 604 00:34:36,518 --> 00:34:37,787 She started to think that marriage 605 00:34:37,787 --> 00:34:39,323 was a section of your life 606 00:34:39,323 --> 00:34:41,294 that you now see was always meant to end, 607 00:34:41,294 --> 00:34:43,398 like childhood or puberty. 608 00:34:43,398 --> 00:34:44,835 It's just a phase. 609 00:34:44,835 --> 00:34:46,572 But maybe it was also fine 610 00:34:46,572 --> 00:34:49,611 because of one additional mitigating factor. 611 00:34:49,611 --> 00:34:52,149 Months before, while all this was going on... 612 00:34:52,149 --> 00:34:53,819 Well, then. I will bring that to Alejandra. 613 00:34:53,819 --> 00:34:55,623 I have a feeling she will be amenable. 614 00:34:55,623 --> 00:34:58,228 Oh, get me Alejan-- 615 00:34:58,228 --> 00:35:01,535 Uh, good, Richard. Uh, thank you. 616 00:35:01,535 --> 00:35:03,304 Yeah. I'll circle back soon. 617 00:35:03,304 --> 00:35:05,409 Hey. Are you looking for a job here? 618 00:35:05,409 --> 00:35:07,614 'Cause we start people in the mailroom. 619 00:35:07,614 --> 00:35:09,851 Okay. I just wanted to thank you, again. 620 00:35:09,851 --> 00:35:12,256 Uh, Josh got cast in a car commercial. 621 00:35:12,256 --> 00:35:13,726 Yeah, I heard! That's great. He's great. 622 00:35:13,726 --> 00:35:15,897 Yeah, it's one of those ones where the kid wakes up on 623 00:35:15,897 --> 00:35:18,635 Christmas and the parents have given him a car or something? 624 00:35:19,904 --> 00:35:22,677 You okay? 625 00:35:22,677 --> 00:35:26,284 No. I'm sorry. Um, it's just, uh-- 626 00:35:26,284 --> 00:35:29,423 Things are a little hard now. 627 00:35:29,423 --> 00:35:30,960 Let me take you for a drink. 628 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,333 You look like you could use a friend. 629 00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:36,572 I've got a ton of calls to return. 630 00:35:36,572 --> 00:35:40,178 One drink. You're getting there. 631 00:35:43,451 --> 00:35:45,589 Cut to the part where you're there. 632 00:35:49,496 --> 00:35:52,336 So they cut to the part where they were there. 633 00:35:57,446 --> 00:35:59,651 Oh, God, it's good. 634 00:35:59,651 --> 00:36:01,688 Fuck, that's good. That's good. 635 00:36:05,228 --> 00:36:06,999 It was supposed to be temporary-- 636 00:36:06,999 --> 00:36:08,736 quick nooners at hotels. 637 00:36:08,736 --> 00:36:11,307 But then Toby left for his new place, 638 00:36:11,307 --> 00:36:13,779 and now she could see him anytime she wanted 639 00:36:13,779 --> 00:36:16,250 when the kids were with Toby. 640 00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:18,589 And once or twice when the kids were asleep. 641 00:36:20,660 --> 00:36:22,597 Sam loved that she worked. 642 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:25,970 Sam wanted to hear about her deals, about the drama at work. 643 00:36:25,970 --> 00:36:29,744 And Jeff told Reyna, "No, you can do it. 644 00:36:29,744 --> 00:36:32,249 I just can't hear you doing it." 645 00:36:39,396 --> 00:36:41,334 I'm only happy when I'm with you. 646 00:36:41,334 --> 00:36:44,807 Um, I mean, how do we figure that part out? 647 00:36:48,782 --> 00:36:51,755 Well... 648 00:36:51,755 --> 00:36:55,696 let's game-plan this and break down the practicalities. 649 00:36:55,696 --> 00:36:59,871 I've been thinking I might want to open an L.A. office. 650 00:36:59,871 --> 00:37:02,442 Fendant has an L.A. office. 651 00:37:02,442 --> 00:37:05,348 I love it when you talk like an agent. 652 00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:08,789 I love it. I love everything you have going on in your head. 653 00:37:08,789 --> 00:37:11,360 I just... love you. 654 00:37:19,811 --> 00:37:23,351 Sam accepted her. He was impressed with her. 655 00:37:23,351 --> 00:37:26,023 She began to wonder if she didn't have to choose 656 00:37:26,023 --> 00:37:28,494 between love and acceptance. 657 00:37:42,455 --> 00:37:44,594 I think it's time. 658 00:37:44,594 --> 00:37:45,996 Okay. 659 00:37:47,533 --> 00:37:48,936 Oh. 660 00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:50,405 Oh, God! 661 00:37:50,405 --> 00:37:52,075 It's so gross! 662 00:37:54,614 --> 00:37:56,718 Okay. It's time to go to bed. 663 00:37:56,718 --> 00:37:58,388 Come on! 664 00:37:58,388 --> 00:38:00,626 No, I let you stay up this late. 665 00:38:02,730 --> 00:38:04,032 Mwah! 666 00:38:05,068 --> 00:38:08,909 She realized that some people are miserable after a divorce. 667 00:38:08,909 --> 00:38:11,648 Not Rachel. She was free. 668 00:38:11,648 --> 00:38:14,119 She could do whatever the hell she wanted. 669 00:38:14,119 --> 00:38:16,558 Well, not everything. 670 00:38:16,558 --> 00:38:18,529 Trust me-- if Rachel could have moved to L.A. 671 00:38:18,529 --> 00:38:22,570 without having to talk to Toby about it, she would have. 672 00:38:22,570 --> 00:38:24,841 Every conversation was a terror with him. 673 00:38:24,841 --> 00:38:26,578 Hey. Is now a good time? 674 00:38:26,578 --> 00:38:28,448 Uh, sure. Yeah. Are the kids okay? 675 00:38:28,448 --> 00:38:30,887 Yeah, they're fine. How's your new place? 676 00:38:30,887 --> 00:38:33,057 What is it, Rachel? 677 00:38:33,057 --> 00:38:35,028 Honestly, your whole thing is that we're supposed to have 678 00:38:35,028 --> 00:38:36,865 great co-parenting communication 679 00:38:36,865 --> 00:38:39,604 and be captains of this divorce team together, but every time 680 00:38:39,604 --> 00:38:41,708 I say something nice to you, you have a meltdown. 681 00:38:41,708 --> 00:38:43,812 Yeah, I would not call this a meltdown, okay? 682 00:38:43,812 --> 00:38:45,783 So, I've been thinking. 683 00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:47,620 The Presidentrix! movie is about to go. 684 00:38:47,620 --> 00:38:49,089 The agency is doing really great. 685 00:38:49,089 --> 00:38:50,993 Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations. 686 00:38:50,993 --> 00:38:55,636 Um, I'm thinking I want to start an L.A. office, 687 00:38:55,636 --> 00:38:56,905 expand my business. 688 00:38:56,905 --> 00:38:58,609 Sure. Great. Congratulations. 689 00:38:58,609 --> 00:39:00,613 It would mean that I'd have to go, set up shop, 690 00:39:00,613 --> 00:39:02,550 and-- and be there a while. 691 00:39:02,550 --> 00:39:04,754 Yeah, okay. Well, Hannah goes to camp in two weeks. 692 00:39:04,754 --> 00:39:06,490 And Solly-- I don't know. 693 00:39:06,490 --> 00:39:09,731 Maybe you want to take him for a week or two? 694 00:39:09,731 --> 00:39:12,670 Well, I'm thinking of doing it for longer than the summer. 695 00:39:12,670 --> 00:39:16,545 Um, maybe I would have to be there longer, 696 00:39:16,545 --> 00:39:18,481 like, uh... 697 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,521 move there for a while. 698 00:39:21,521 --> 00:39:23,726 I'd keep my place here, 699 00:39:23,726 --> 00:39:25,896 and I'd still come back all the time. 700 00:39:25,896 --> 00:39:27,767 And what? Like, leave the kids? 701 00:39:27,767 --> 00:39:30,038 No, no. I... 702 00:39:30,038 --> 00:39:32,442 I would take the kids. 703 00:39:32,442 --> 00:39:35,048 Are you fucking kidding me?! You are not taking the kids anywhere. I will-- 704 00:39:35,048 --> 00:39:37,052 I will literally-- Rachel, I will sue you before you-- 705 00:39:37,052 --> 00:39:39,791 No, I'm-- I'm saying I need a change. 706 00:39:39,791 --> 00:39:41,895 Oh. Oh, you need a change? Okay. 707 00:39:41,895 --> 00:39:43,966 No, no. Please don't make this ugly. 708 00:39:43,966 --> 00:39:45,903 You know what? Go to California. Seriously. 709 00:39:45,903 --> 00:39:47,674 But you are not taking the kids, okay? 710 00:39:47,674 --> 00:39:50,546 Honestly, t-they wouldn't even notice if you were gone. 711 00:40:02,603 --> 00:40:06,511 It was the meanest thing anyone had ever said to her. 712 00:40:06,511 --> 00:40:08,582 And he had said some mean things. 713 00:40:14,561 --> 00:40:16,197 I have great news. 714 00:40:16,197 --> 00:40:19,604 Just got a last-minute spot at Everglade for the weekend. 715 00:40:19,604 --> 00:40:21,240 You there? 716 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:23,612 Hi. Uh, yeah. 717 00:40:23,612 --> 00:40:26,518 So, I'm telling Miriam I'm getting super into yoga. 718 00:40:26,518 --> 00:40:30,593 We can finally do a weekend. 719 00:40:30,593 --> 00:40:33,231 Uh, right. Um, I'm-- 720 00:40:33,231 --> 00:40:35,603 I'm in the middle of Alejandra's deal. 721 00:40:35,603 --> 00:40:37,472 We're-- We're trying to close. 722 00:40:37,472 --> 00:40:40,513 Did you know the cellphone had been invented? Come on. 723 00:40:40,513 --> 00:40:42,683 Cut to the part where you're there. 724 00:40:44,052 --> 00:40:46,023 Great. Be outside at 6:00. 725 00:42:04,146 --> 00:42:06,785 There's a silent mindfulness nature walk at 10:00 726 00:42:06,785 --> 00:42:08,187 that you're just in time for. 727 00:42:08,187 --> 00:42:10,258 Can we just cut to the massage part? 728 00:42:10,258 --> 00:42:12,329 Rach, you want a facial? 729 00:42:12,329 --> 00:42:14,065 Sure. Cool. 730 00:42:15,769 --> 00:42:17,707 - I can facilitate that. - Thank you. 731 00:42:50,839 --> 00:42:52,275 Hey, you okay? 732 00:42:52,275 --> 00:42:55,048 Yeah. Work stuff. 733 00:42:55,048 --> 00:42:57,152 Why don't you get an early massage? 734 00:42:57,152 --> 00:42:59,189 Let's wash it all off, okay? 735 00:42:59,189 --> 00:43:02,630 Hey. I brought something for us. 736 00:43:02,630 --> 00:43:04,767 Edibles. 737 00:43:04,767 --> 00:43:07,105 It's the good stuff. Medical. 738 00:43:07,105 --> 00:43:09,042 Mm! 739 00:43:09,042 --> 00:43:10,679 Very romantic. 740 00:43:12,048 --> 00:43:14,654 Yeah. I-- I can't do that stuff. 741 00:43:14,654 --> 00:43:17,425 They gave me this thing when I had Hannah 742 00:43:17,425 --> 00:43:19,664 that made me hallucinate all night, 743 00:43:19,664 --> 00:43:23,872 and now I just... stay away. 744 00:43:23,872 --> 00:43:25,341 Mm-kay. 745 00:43:32,088 --> 00:43:34,827 Let's begin. Deep breath. 746 00:43:34,827 --> 00:43:37,199 Here's the thing about consciousness-raising 747 00:43:37,199 --> 00:43:38,835 and awareness. 748 00:43:38,835 --> 00:43:42,075 Let's start. Deep breath. 749 00:43:42,075 --> 00:43:44,814 You should avoid it. 750 00:43:44,814 --> 00:43:47,920 Let's start. Deep breath. 751 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:52,062 I'm sorry. I just-- I just have to sit up for a second. 752 00:43:57,105 --> 00:43:59,978 I have an idea for you. 753 00:43:59,978 --> 00:44:01,982 Try closing your eyes. 754 00:44:03,919 --> 00:44:06,691 I-I can't close my eyes. 755 00:44:08,394 --> 00:44:09,731 Now breathe. 756 00:44:16,310 --> 00:44:18,715 You breath keeps getting caught in the same place. 757 00:44:18,715 --> 00:44:20,218 What does that mean? 758 00:44:20,218 --> 00:44:23,290 It means you have to clear out the pipes a little. 759 00:44:26,965 --> 00:44:28,902 Breathe in. 760 00:44:28,902 --> 00:44:30,104 Breathe out. 761 00:44:32,041 --> 00:44:34,112 Breathe in. 762 00:44:34,112 --> 00:44:36,851 Now... scream. 763 00:44:36,851 --> 00:44:38,053 Trust me. 764 00:44:39,489 --> 00:44:40,993 Haaaa! 765 00:44:40,993 --> 00:44:43,063 Don't worry. No one can hear you. 766 00:44:48,073 --> 00:44:49,911 HAAA! 767 00:44:49,911 --> 00:44:51,847 You're getting it. 768 00:44:55,789 --> 00:44:57,392 HAAAAAA! 769 00:44:57,392 --> 00:45:01,467 What if I told you that inside you are tiny particles 770 00:45:01,467 --> 00:45:03,070 and attached to that 771 00:45:03,070 --> 00:45:05,743 are all the worry and the anxiety you have, 772 00:45:05,743 --> 00:45:08,014 all your problems, and that if you gather them 773 00:45:08,014 --> 00:45:11,887 and push them out of your body, they won't be there anymore? 774 00:45:33,164 --> 00:45:35,034 And so she screamed. 775 00:45:35,034 --> 00:45:36,938 One of her screams was for Hannah, 776 00:45:36,938 --> 00:45:40,378 who had Rachel's disease of the desire for love and acceptance. 777 00:45:40,378 --> 00:45:42,950 One of them was for Solly, who thought he was allowed 778 00:45:42,950 --> 00:45:44,554 to be himself in this world 779 00:45:44,554 --> 00:45:47,325 and didn't realize there would be consequences to it, 780 00:45:47,325 --> 00:45:49,463 no matter what Mr. Rogers said. 781 00:45:49,463 --> 00:45:51,968 She screamed for her mother, who was, perhaps, 782 00:45:51,968 --> 00:45:54,941 her last chance at being a normal person. 783 00:45:54,941 --> 00:45:56,511 She screamed for Toby, 784 00:45:56,511 --> 00:45:58,147 who promised that he would never leave 785 00:45:58,147 --> 00:45:59,416 and spent their years together 786 00:45:59,416 --> 00:46:01,420 threatening to leave her... 787 00:46:01,420 --> 00:46:03,290 and then finally did. 788 00:46:08,935 --> 00:46:12,175 She screamed for the family she worked her whole life to get... 789 00:46:12,175 --> 00:46:14,079 but then only had so briefly. 790 00:46:28,173 --> 00:46:30,344 This place is so fucking weird. 791 00:46:45,007 --> 00:46:46,511 What is it with you? 792 00:46:46,511 --> 00:46:49,851 I don't know. I'm just-- I don't know. 793 00:46:49,851 --> 00:46:51,855 I can't seem to calm down. 794 00:46:51,855 --> 00:46:55,061 Here. Take an Ambien. 795 00:46:55,061 --> 00:46:57,132 Isn't that a prescription? 796 00:46:57,132 --> 00:46:59,002 Still a doctor's wife. 797 00:46:59,002 --> 00:47:02,242 Phar-ma-ceuticals. 798 00:47:10,926 --> 00:47:15,201 Sam liked to take Ambien before they had sex. God knows why. 799 00:47:15,201 --> 00:47:17,005 Rachel thought about taking one, 800 00:47:17,005 --> 00:47:19,109 but she'd read these stories about people 801 00:47:19,109 --> 00:47:22,348 who do crazy things in their sleep when they take it. 802 00:47:43,691 --> 00:47:46,162 Fuck. 803 00:48:12,081 --> 00:48:14,085 Fuck. 804 00:48:18,628 --> 00:48:20,097 What, you're leaving? 805 00:48:20,097 --> 00:48:21,668 I don't get that much time to myself, you know? 806 00:48:21,668 --> 00:48:23,705 I was hoping this would be... fun? 807 00:48:23,705 --> 00:48:25,509 You were supposed to be fun. 808 00:48:25,509 --> 00:48:28,314 I was supposed to be fun? You know what I mean. 809 00:48:28,314 --> 00:48:31,688 It's not supposed to be this much work. 810 00:48:31,688 --> 00:48:33,592 I don't think this is good anymore. 811 00:48:33,592 --> 00:48:36,029 You should pack. 812 00:48:36,029 --> 00:48:40,404 But we were supposed to be here for-- for another two days. 813 00:48:40,404 --> 00:48:42,408 I don't want to leave yet. 814 00:49:00,244 --> 00:49:03,083 Rachel was left unsure of what had just happened. 815 00:49:03,083 --> 00:49:05,989 Had there been a progression that she'd missed? 816 00:49:05,989 --> 00:49:09,196 All she thought is, "There goes another one." 817 00:49:09,196 --> 00:49:11,500 And then it hit her-- Holy shit! 818 00:49:11,500 --> 00:49:14,774 She was divorced. The bottom had fallen out. 819 00:49:14,774 --> 00:49:17,546 There was no net. She was alone. 820 00:49:17,546 --> 00:49:21,186 She was alone, again, when she had taken such measures 821 00:49:21,186 --> 00:49:24,025 to make sure she'd never be alone again. 822 00:49:24,025 --> 00:49:26,029 It must be that she was unlovable-- 823 00:49:26,029 --> 00:49:27,733 an illegitimate kind of person. 824 00:49:27,733 --> 00:49:29,770 There were so many people in the world-- 825 00:49:29,770 --> 00:49:32,342 dumb ones, ugly ones, bad ones even-- 826 00:49:32,342 --> 00:49:34,112 and there were people who loved them. 827 00:49:34,112 --> 00:49:35,616 Why not her? 828 00:49:35,616 --> 00:49:37,586 She couldn't be loved by her grandmother. 829 00:49:37,586 --> 00:49:40,091 She couldn't be loved by Toby for being herself. 830 00:49:40,091 --> 00:49:43,163 She couldn't be loved by Sam for being herself. 831 00:49:43,163 --> 00:49:47,105 Who she was was unacceptable. 832 00:49:47,105 --> 00:49:49,309 "Sutton called and was asking for clarification 833 00:49:49,309 --> 00:49:51,681 on the final deal point. And Toby called. 834 00:49:51,681 --> 00:49:54,085 He's saying you have to pick up the kids." 835 00:49:54,085 --> 00:49:57,660 "Just one fucking weekend, Simone." 836 00:50:09,617 --> 00:50:11,420 Can you look at this script? 837 00:50:11,420 --> 00:50:12,790 Marsha says we should circle back when we have more. 838 00:50:12,790 --> 00:50:14,392 Did you hit the final deal points? 839 00:50:14,392 --> 00:50:15,729 - Final deal points? - Where are you? 840 00:50:15,729 --> 00:50:17,600 - Where are you? - Where are you? 841 00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:19,135 It's time to get the ball rolling on Alison's deal. 842 00:50:19,135 --> 00:50:20,606 - Hey. - Hey, give me a call back 843 00:50:20,606 --> 00:50:22,442 because you said alternate, not understudy. 844 00:50:22,442 --> 00:50:23,812 - Alternate, not understudy. - Can you circle back? 845 00:50:23,812 --> 00:50:25,348 - Alejandra... - Alejandra called again. 846 00:50:25,348 --> 00:50:27,385 Hey. Are you getting these? 847 00:50:27,385 --> 00:50:28,755 Circle back. 848 00:50:30,726 --> 00:50:32,729 Time was a flat circle back. 849 00:50:34,767 --> 00:50:37,205 Well, she couldn't go to sleep while her phone was nearby. 850 00:50:37,205 --> 00:50:41,146 It was alive. She could feel it beating. 851 00:51:19,556 --> 00:51:20,692 Mrs. Rothberg? 852 00:51:20,692 --> 00:51:23,130 I'm not Mrs. Rothberg. 853 00:51:23,130 --> 00:51:25,267 We were wondering when you'd be checking out. 854 00:51:25,267 --> 00:51:27,840 Oh, I want another massage and then do more screaming. 855 00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:29,744 Right. But your reservation. 856 00:51:29,744 --> 00:51:32,181 We have a large group coming. 857 00:51:32,181 --> 00:51:35,254 Well, can I have a late checkout? 858 00:51:35,254 --> 00:51:36,690 Sure. 859 00:51:46,342 --> 00:51:49,349 Just get me a car home, okay? And send me a new phone. 860 00:51:49,349 --> 00:51:51,286 No, Simone! It's just one weekend. 861 00:51:51,286 --> 00:51:53,223 Let me be, please. 862 00:52:08,453 --> 00:52:10,591 Mrs. Fleishman. Long time, no see. 863 00:52:22,983 --> 00:52:25,454 She was home. Finally. 864 00:52:28,326 --> 00:52:29,830 Sleep. 865 00:52:33,938 --> 00:52:36,511 Maybe she was hungry. 866 00:52:36,511 --> 00:52:39,517 She'd only eaten vegetarian bullshit for the past few days. 867 00:52:39,517 --> 00:52:43,591 Maybe if she had some iron in her she'd be able to sleep. 868 00:52:45,796 --> 00:52:48,802 She'd had a roommate in college who used to diet all the time, 869 00:52:48,802 --> 00:52:50,839 but when she gave up on her diets, 870 00:52:50,839 --> 00:52:54,780 which was basically every week, she'd order beef lo mein. 871 00:52:54,780 --> 00:52:57,251 You've never seen someone so happy while eating. 872 00:52:57,251 --> 00:53:00,558 Uh, yeah, hi. C-Can I get an order of... 873 00:53:02,829 --> 00:53:05,234 I'll have the beef lo mein. 874 00:53:07,806 --> 00:53:10,812 Hello, Mrs. Fleishman. 875 00:53:21,967 --> 00:53:23,772 Lo mein is gross. 876 00:53:23,772 --> 00:53:26,910 Why would you eat spaghetti from a Chinese place? 877 00:53:28,714 --> 00:53:30,685 What she needed was exercise. 878 00:53:30,685 --> 00:53:33,958 Exercise always tired her out. 879 00:53:33,958 --> 00:53:36,898 Wait. What was she doing in the bedroom? 880 00:53:48,788 --> 00:53:51,661 She'd had a roommate in college who used to diet all the time, 881 00:53:51,661 --> 00:53:53,598 but when she gave up on her diets, 882 00:53:53,598 --> 00:53:57,573 which was basically every week, she'd order beef lo mein. 883 00:53:57,573 --> 00:54:00,277 You've never seen someone so happy while eating. 884 00:54:00,277 --> 00:54:02,315 Um, are you still delivering? 885 00:54:02,315 --> 00:54:04,452 Yeah, I-I'll have a beef lo mein. 886 00:54:04,452 --> 00:54:06,824 Delivered to 813 East 84th Street. 887 00:54:06,824 --> 00:54:08,528 Apartment 7A. 888 00:54:10,932 --> 00:54:12,803 Hello, Mrs. Fleishman. 889 00:54:23,758 --> 00:54:26,764 Disgusting. If you want pasta, you go to Tony's. 890 00:54:30,337 --> 00:54:32,576 She had this idea that maybe it was 891 00:54:32,576 --> 00:54:34,479 that her clothes were too tight. 892 00:54:34,479 --> 00:54:37,619 She never wore sweatpants anymore. 893 00:54:37,619 --> 00:54:40,859 They reminded her of her postpartum breakdown. 894 00:54:40,859 --> 00:54:43,430 But either Toby or Sam had left some behind, 895 00:54:43,430 --> 00:54:45,501 and she thought maybe the sweatpants 896 00:54:45,501 --> 00:54:48,373 were what healed her last time. 897 00:54:48,373 --> 00:54:50,912 She thought of those women who wore sweatpants all day 898 00:54:50,912 --> 00:54:53,651 and slept in the park because they had nothing to do. 899 00:54:53,651 --> 00:54:55,387 Maybe she could be one of them. 900 00:54:55,387 --> 00:54:57,124 But, man, she was hungry. 901 00:54:57,124 --> 00:54:58,928 Rachel thought about her college roommate 902 00:54:58,928 --> 00:55:00,799 who had an eating disorder and who would, 903 00:55:00,799 --> 00:55:02,669 once a week, order beef lo mein 904 00:55:02,669 --> 00:55:04,707 because that's the food you eat when you've just given up. 905 00:55:04,707 --> 00:55:06,744 Can I get an order of beef lo mein? 906 00:55:06,744 --> 00:55:10,017 813 East 84th Street. Apartment 7A. 907 00:55:11,386 --> 00:55:12,990 Mrs. Fleishman. Thank you. 908 00:55:31,459 --> 00:55:33,430 It was totally gross! 909 00:55:33,430 --> 00:55:37,673 Why would you eat spaghetti from a Chinese place? 910 00:55:37,673 --> 00:55:40,779 Maybe she could get, like, a supplement or something. 911 00:56:00,685 --> 00:56:04,593 A hamburger. Um, no onions. Uh, no cheese. 912 00:56:04,593 --> 00:56:08,868 Um, do, uh-- do you have pickles? 913 00:56:08,868 --> 00:56:12,509 Do you-- Do you still have that fusilli? 914 00:56:12,509 --> 00:56:16,049 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That-- One-- One of those. 915 00:56:16,049 --> 00:56:18,186 Oh, you want two? 916 00:56:18,186 --> 00:56:20,925 Yeah, no. Make that two. 917 00:56:22,596 --> 00:56:25,535 Go away! I don't want it! 918 00:56:36,990 --> 00:56:39,461 Toby? 919 00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:44,740 Oh. Hannah. God, you scared me. 920 00:56:44,740 --> 00:56:47,478 I know. I was at the office. 921 00:56:47,478 --> 00:56:49,449 I have to tell you something. 922 00:56:49,449 --> 00:56:51,152 Can you listen? I have to tell you something. 923 00:56:51,152 --> 00:56:53,758 I'm busy! I'll circle back. 924 00:56:53,758 --> 00:56:56,096 No, no, no. No. You have to hear it from me. 925 00:56:56,096 --> 00:57:00,572 I didn't stand a chance. I never stood a chance. 926 00:57:00,572 --> 00:57:02,776 Do you hear me? 927 00:57:02,776 --> 00:57:06,617 I have to circle back on that! 928 00:57:06,617 --> 00:57:08,453 Can you tell Solly? 929 00:57:10,925 --> 00:57:12,629 I left word. You're not listening! 930 00:57:30,765 --> 00:57:34,272 No, honey. The joke is that the eyes are open. 931 00:57:34,272 --> 00:57:36,877 I find the patient interface particularly rewarding. 932 00:57:44,225 --> 00:57:46,564 Mom, we're late! You have to get us! 933 00:57:46,564 --> 00:57:47,799 I can't move, Hannah. 934 00:57:47,799 --> 00:57:49,670 Mom. Mom, please! 935 00:57:49,670 --> 00:57:51,640 I can't move. 936 00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:54,813 I love you! I love you! Y-Y-You know. 937 00:57:54,813 --> 00:57:57,552 You know that I love you. But they're coming. 938 00:57:57,552 --> 00:58:01,125 They're coming for me, and I can't even move! 939 00:58:03,129 --> 00:58:05,769 I'm in L.A. I'm in L.A. 940 00:58:05,769 --> 00:58:09,810 C-Come see if-- if you can find me, okay? 941 00:58:09,810 --> 00:58:12,949 We'll-- We'll order room service. 942 00:58:16,590 --> 00:58:18,226 She had to get out of there. 943 00:58:31,152 --> 00:58:32,755 Ahem! 944 00:58:35,761 --> 00:58:38,868 Rachel Fleishman. Asleep in the park. 945 00:58:38,868 --> 00:58:41,005 As I live and breathe! 946 00:58:41,005 --> 00:58:43,009 We're going to Soul. Are you coming? 947 00:58:43,009 --> 00:58:46,082 Oh, um... 948 00:58:46,082 --> 00:58:47,853 I forgot to tell you. 949 00:58:47,853 --> 00:58:51,860 Um, I'm waiting on a call, so I can't. 950 00:58:53,898 --> 00:58:54,900 - Ohh. - Oh, it's okay. 951 00:58:54,900 --> 00:58:57,171 Ohh. You work too hard. 952 00:58:57,171 --> 00:58:58,841 Are you o-okay? 953 00:58:58,841 --> 00:59:00,210 Sure. Yeah. 954 00:59:00,210 --> 00:59:03,350 Uh, just... 955 00:59:03,350 --> 00:59:05,020 taking some me-time. 956 00:59:05,020 --> 00:59:06,624 - Proud of you. - Ohh. 957 00:59:06,624 --> 00:59:08,293 - Yes! - You go, girl. 958 00:59:08,293 --> 00:59:10,063 Yeah, that's good. 959 00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:33,711 Did something come for me? 960 00:59:33,711 --> 00:59:35,715 From my assistant? I ordered a new phone. 961 00:59:35,715 --> 00:59:38,153 And, uh, I've been without a phone all weekend. 962 00:59:38,153 --> 00:59:41,059 She delivered, uh, something for you a few weeks ago. 963 00:59:41,059 --> 00:59:43,330 What do you mean? 964 00:59:43,330 --> 00:59:45,267 What-- 965 00:59:45,267 --> 00:59:47,806 Wait. Sorry. She-- 966 00:59:47,806 --> 00:59:53,684 She delivered it on-- on Sunday? 967 00:59:53,684 --> 00:59:55,955 It's Thursday. 968 00:59:55,955 --> 00:59:57,358 It's Thursday? 969 00:59:57,358 --> 00:59:59,830 But it wasn't just Thursday. 970 00:59:59,830 --> 01:00:02,903 It wasn't even the next Thursday. 971 01:00:02,903 --> 01:00:04,205 It had been weeks. 972 01:00:04,205 --> 01:00:05,875 Oh, shit. 973 01:00:10,718 --> 01:00:12,756 She found herself in front of Toby's apartment, 974 01:00:12,756 --> 01:00:15,194 but she was afraid to go in. 975 01:00:15,194 --> 01:00:17,097 Not because she was scared of him yelling at her, 976 01:00:17,097 --> 01:00:19,970 which she was, but because she knew 977 01:00:19,970 --> 01:00:23,276 that whatever it was he said, he would be right. 978 01:00:25,013 --> 01:00:28,186 And she could not bear further information right then 979 01:00:28,186 --> 01:00:30,692 about what a piece of shit she was. 980 01:00:32,261 --> 01:00:34,966 She couldn't figure out how much time had passed. 981 01:00:36,870 --> 01:00:40,712 She had so much apologizing to do. 982 01:00:40,712 --> 01:00:43,718 So she did the first thing that seemed manageable. 983 01:01:00,752 --> 01:01:02,421 Rachel. Hi. 984 01:01:02,421 --> 01:01:06,429 I was just in the neighborhood and I wanted to see my favorite. 985 01:01:06,429 --> 01:01:09,802 Uh, I come-- I come bearing gifts. 986 01:01:12,842 --> 01:01:15,848 I'll... get Alex. 987 01:01:15,848 --> 01:01:17,117 Alex! 988 01:01:26,068 --> 01:01:27,271 Rachel. 989 01:01:27,271 --> 01:01:30,110 It's me. 990 01:01:30,110 --> 01:01:33,884 Oh, I, um-- I brought you something. 991 01:01:38,192 --> 01:01:39,796 Uh, so-- so, I-I think-- 992 01:01:39,796 --> 01:01:41,466 I think we have all our-- our deal points done. 993 01:01:41,466 --> 01:01:42,936 They're still being a little-- 994 01:01:42,936 --> 01:01:44,840 Rachel, what are you talking about? 995 01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:47,143 I haven't heard from you in three weeks. 996 01:01:54,091 --> 01:01:55,728 Wow. Do you-- 997 01:01:58,099 --> 01:02:00,003 Do you ever get déjà vu? 998 01:02:01,573 --> 01:02:04,445 Rachel, are you okay? It's 7:00 a.m. 999 01:02:04,445 --> 01:02:08,086 Uh, no. I-I-I had to go out of town. 1000 01:02:08,086 --> 01:02:10,090 It was a-- It was a family emergency. 1001 01:02:10,090 --> 01:02:12,829 Simone said you were in meetings. 1002 01:02:12,829 --> 01:02:14,231 I called you. 1003 01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:17,137 My lawyer called and said you weren't returning. 1004 01:02:18,974 --> 01:02:20,443 I called Matt. 1005 01:02:23,082 --> 01:02:24,953 Wait. My Matt? 1006 01:02:24,953 --> 01:02:28,026 My Matt. 1007 01:02:28,026 --> 01:02:29,996 I went back to Alfooz. 1008 01:02:35,340 --> 01:02:37,846 You disappeared! 1009 01:02:37,846 --> 01:02:40,050 I couldn't let it fall apart. 1010 01:02:40,050 --> 01:02:42,121 I worked too hard to let it fall apart. 1011 01:02:42,121 --> 01:02:44,993 No, no, no, of course. No, y-you did the right thing. 1012 01:02:44,993 --> 01:02:47,331 Absolutely. 1013 01:02:47,331 --> 01:02:49,502 Uh, let me-- let me know 1014 01:02:49,502 --> 01:02:52,041 if Matt needs any help with the transition. 1015 01:02:52,041 --> 01:02:54,111 Rachel-- Wait. Is it-- Is the deal done? 1016 01:02:54,111 --> 01:02:56,382 Did he handle it? 1017 01:02:56,382 --> 01:02:59,789 Yeah, he got it. All of it. 1018 01:03:01,526 --> 01:03:03,396 It's fine now. 1019 01:03:03,396 --> 01:03:04,866 Rachel, are you-- 1020 01:03:04,866 --> 01:03:08,940 I-I'm-- I'm fine. Yeah. I mean... 1021 01:03:11,412 --> 01:03:13,551 No, it's been a-- it's been a rough week, 1022 01:03:13,551 --> 01:03:15,854 but, you know, it's-- it's fine. 1023 01:03:20,598 --> 01:03:22,400 I am so p-- 1024 01:03:30,450 --> 01:03:33,089 I'm so proud of what you achieved. 1025 01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:41,004 I'm very sorry I let you down. 1026 01:03:44,311 --> 01:03:46,315 Rachel had discovered her. 1027 01:03:46,315 --> 01:03:49,121 She'd believed in her when Matt was still calling her 1028 01:03:49,121 --> 01:03:52,996 a diversity hire for TV rooms behind her back. 1029 01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:56,002 See? Unacceptable. 1030 01:03:56,002 --> 01:03:58,106 And then I realized I was hungry 1031 01:03:58,106 --> 01:04:00,310 and if I saw them when I was hungry 1032 01:04:00,310 --> 01:04:03,049 I was gonna have to leave to get something to eat, 1033 01:04:03,049 --> 01:04:07,057 so I-I went looking for carbs and I got a bagel 1034 01:04:07,057 --> 01:04:11,265 and then-- and then I saw you. 1035 01:04:15,373 --> 01:04:17,978 Are you sure I-I can't get you anything? 1036 01:04:21,118 --> 01:04:23,156 Her story was all over the place. 1037 01:04:23,156 --> 01:04:26,195 There were several days she just couldn't account for. 1038 01:04:26,195 --> 01:04:28,032 And half of it didn't add up. 1039 01:04:28,032 --> 01:04:31,438 I don't really remember putting newspaper on the windows. 1040 01:04:45,500 --> 01:04:47,571 I think you need some help, Rachel. 1041 01:04:50,644 --> 01:04:52,481 Come on. 1042 01:04:52,481 --> 01:04:54,519 I'd spent the whole summer listening to Toby's story, 1043 01:04:54,519 --> 01:04:56,523 seeing it through his eyes alone. 1044 01:04:56,523 --> 01:04:58,994 I'd forgotten an essential truth of reporting, 1045 01:04:58,994 --> 01:05:00,998 which is that you should always wonder, 1046 01:05:00,998 --> 01:05:03,269 when you're hearing someone's version of things, 1047 01:05:03,269 --> 01:05:05,106 what the other person in the story-- 1048 01:05:05,106 --> 01:05:08,647 the one who wasn't there-- would say if he were. 1049 01:05:08,647 --> 01:05:10,651 I'd forgotten that lesson, which I had learned 1050 01:05:10,651 --> 01:05:12,655 on every story I ever did. 1051 01:05:12,655 --> 01:05:15,260 It was that there are no real villains in life, 1052 01:05:15,260 --> 01:05:16,597 not really. 1053 01:05:16,597 --> 01:05:18,266 There are no real heroes, either. 1054 01:05:18,266 --> 01:05:21,138 Everyone is great and everyone is terrible 1055 01:05:21,138 --> 01:05:22,675 and everyone is flawed, 1056 01:05:22,675 --> 01:05:25,280 and there are no exceptions to that. 1057 01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:27,685 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 1058 01:05:27,685 --> 01:05:32,261 Just try to sleep. Okay? 1059 01:05:32,261 --> 01:05:34,633 I'll sit here with you. 1060 01:05:34,633 --> 01:05:37,470 And I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. 1061 01:05:40,043 --> 01:05:42,749 You know, I always liked you. 1062 01:05:42,749 --> 01:05:45,153 I just thought you didn't like me. 1063 01:06:21,726 --> 01:06:25,200 Hey. I'm sorry about before. 1064 01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:27,037 I hope you're not mad. 1065 01:06:27,037 --> 01:06:30,143 It's just that I've been going through a lot lately.