♪ (OPERA MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(TRAM SIGNAL RINGS)
(TRAM WHEELS SQUEAL)
DIRECTOR: Left stage!
DIRECTOR: Action! Rain.
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(TRAM SIGNAL RINGS)
DIRECTOR: Market Square, action!
Action!
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
-(CELLPHONE RINGS) -DOUGLAS HYLTON: Uh-huh.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-DOUGLAS: Ah... Shit. -(CELLPHONE RINGS)
-DOUGLAS: Ah. -(CELLPHONE RINGS)
Uh... Hello? Douglas speaking.
SUSAN EDWARDS: (OVER PHONE) Oh, hello. It's Susan Edwards.
I understand you're being offered as-- as my, um...
DOUGLAS: Yes, that's right. My name is Douglas Hylton.
I'll be coming in to help you tonight, Mrs. Edwards.
SUSAN: Oh, Susan's fine.
DOUGLAS: Oh. Okay, thanks. Um...
Well, if you'd like, I'll be representing you
-for the foreseeable-- -SUSAN: Oh, good, because...
you've heard, I think, that my husband and I
have got ourselves into a bit of a pickle.
-I know it sounds all rather... -DOUGLAS: Susan. Susan?
-...morbid-- -Uh-- Sorry to interrupt you,
and thank you for calling me, but I'm actually, uh,
walking to you right now, so if that could just wait for a minute.
SUSAN: Yeah, I mean, obviously we regret... I mean--
I mean, we should have done certain things differently.
I-- I think we're both happy to admit that.
Well, "ha--" "happy" is hardly the word, is it?
DOUGLAS: (OVER PHONE) (CHUCKLES) So-- So--
So, I can hear you've got a lot to get off your chest,
but, um, really,
-it's, uh... -It is just very complicated, Douglas,
and I'm very keen for--
But it's my husband, really, Chris, he just...
-he shouldn't be here. -Sus-- Susan? Susan?
-Sorry, can I just-- -So I feel, for his sake,
everyone should know the truth from the outset.
-Uh... Uh-- Uh-- Susan? -Yes?
It-- It's-- It's-- It's just... This isn't a private call
because I'm not actually your representative yet.
Uh... That's what I'm coming to do now,
you see, to take your instruction,
and then I can...
-Does that make sense? -I see, yes.
-Sorry. Silly old me. (CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES)
-(DOOR SLAMS) -Look, I-- I can sense we're gonna get on, Susan.
-I'll speak to you very soon. -Thank you.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(DOOR SLAMS)
-♪ (OPERA MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -Sorry to keep you.
(DOOR SCREECHES, BOOMS SHUT)
♪ (OPERA MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(BELL RINGS) -(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CLOCK TICKS)
(BOTTLES RATTLE QUIETLY)
-FRANCOIS: Bonjour, Madame. -Bonjour.
FRANCOIS: (IN FRENCH)
SUSAN: (IN FRENCH)
FRANCOIS: (IN FRENCH)
SUSAN: Ah... (IN FRENCH)
(IN ENGLISH) Of course, but I think you mentioned
this one. He's one of your favorites.
(PAPER RUSTLING)
-FRANCOIS: Gary Cooper. -Oh...
(PAPER RUSTLING)
(GASPS)
It's an original, from the second Belgian release.
-The second Belgian release? -Mm-hmm.
(IN FRENCH)
(IN ENGLISH) Aside from everything else. (CHUCKLES)
For you, madame, I'll make a special price.
-Two hundred fifty. -Oh, no, um,
-Francois, it's too much. Sorry. -How about 200?
I could possibly stretch to 100, but...
(INHALES) Madame... (EXHALES) ...for you, I'll make it 150,
'cause I know this will make you happy
-and that makes me happy too. -(CHUCKLES)
-(CLICKS TONGUE)
Okay. (CHUCKLES)
Uh-- If you use the card, it must be 170, madame.
Oh, okay. (INHALES)
-SUSAN: Merci. -Merci beaucoup.
Mm-hmm.
-(LOCK CLICKS) -♪ (PEACEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(HINGES SQUEAK)
-Salut, mon cher. -(LAUGHS)
-Hello, darling. (KISSES) -Mm-hmm. (KISSES)
That's a nice greeting.
-Good morning? -Um... It's okay, I think.
-Lovely. -(GROANS)
-I've made sandwiches. -Thank you.
And there's soup from last night if you want it.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
-(KEYS THUD ON TABLE) -CHRISTOPHER EDWARDS: What's in the sarnies?
Tuna and sweetcorn on normal bread.
Found some in the English section
-at the Monoprix. -Oh, lovely.
(GROANS)
Yes. Yes, yes. I felt I made...
a good impression. Oh, and my French
-is really improving, actually. -Ah!
-Drink? -Yes, please.
So, I've got another one this afternoon
which I'm hoping will go even better. Mmm.
Oh, yes. Look, Chris!
It's just like the one I had on my bedroom wall
-as a little girl... -(PAPER RUSTLING)
...that my grandfather brought me.
It wasn't in French, but look!
Same image.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-How much was it? -SUSAN: Oh, it was nothing.
Twenty euros? It's not an original.
CHRISTOPHER: You know, Susan, even 20 euros,
there'll be a final demand for the gas in there,
and I'm the one who's gotta open them
and sort it out.
-Is that from Gérard? -You open it.
SUSAN: Well, no, it's-- it's for you.
Hmm.
(PAPER RUSTLING)
My God. A hundred euro.
See, crosspatch? Didn't I say?
Things around here are about to change.
Well, it's only a hundred, Susan.
-But it's a start, isn't it? -Of what?
We're way behind on the rent, and if I don't get a job--
But you will get a job. That's what I mean.
Yes, well, I'm trying... trying my hardest.
Come on, then. What's Gérard got to say for himself?
Read it out loud. I'm listening.
I'll look at it later.
-(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE) -♪ (OPERA MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(PAPER RUSTLING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
(GUNSHOT ECHOES)
(LOUDER GUNSHOT ECHOES)
-(WIND HOWLS) -♪ (OPERA MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
CHRISTOPHER: Susan?
Why don't you, uh...
Why don't you put that thing up? (EXHALES)
Silly, keeping it hidden away now you've got it.
Yes. Good idea.
Who wouldn't give this handsome man a job, hey?
We'll celebrate afterwards in the café.
-(SPEAKING IN FRENCH) -(CHUCKLES)
♪ (REFLECTIVE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(MACHINE BUZZES)
-(ELEVATOR BELL RINGS) -(DOORS OPEN)
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Christopher Edwards?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
MANAGER: (SPEAKING FRENCH)
(CONTINUES SPEAKING FRENCH)
Vous pouvez répéter la question?
S'il vous plaît.
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(WHISPERS) Go on, Chris. You can do it.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(DUCKS QUACK)
SUSAN: Mon cher, Chris.
Please find enclosed 100 euros,
a small token of my gratitude for your eternal friendship.
As you will know from my movie, we have a saying in France,
"La vie en rose."
The meaning of this phrase
is to look up at the stars instead of in the gutter,
to see the beauty that exists in life,
even when it is difficult to find...
perhaps sometimes even when it is not there.
This is the purpose of stories and the purpose of cinema,
but more than this, it is the purpose of love,
and to be loved is the most beautiful thing in the world.
Yours sincerely, Gérard Depardieu.
(EXHALES)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(TRAIN SCREECHES)
(SIREN BLARES IN DISTANCE)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER PA) -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
♪ (PEACEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(BIRDS CHIRP)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(PHONE RINGING TONE TRILLS)
(PHONE RINGING TONE TRILLS)
-(PHONE IS PICKED UP) -CHRISTOPHER: Hello?
-TABITHA EDWARDS: Hello? -CHRISTOPHER: Is that Tabitha?
TABITHA: Speaking. Who's that?
TABITHA: That's not you, is it Chris?
-Yeah. It's me. -TABITHA: Chris?
Yes.
Uh... Um... (EXHALES)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER PA) -(EXHALES)
(HESITATES)
Listen, I'm sorry it's been so long. (CHUCKLES)
-TABITHA: Where are you? -Uh... I'm-- I'm in France.
-TABITHA: Are you with Susan? -Yeah.
I've just-- I've just been for a-- a-- a-- a job interview,
actually.
Yeah, a-- a fairly senior credit control position.
You know, but the truth is, what with the, um...
the, um, the language barrier,
um... we-- we're in a bit of financial, um...
you know-- Uh... What am I saying? (HESITATES)
There's-- There's this cashflow situation,
um, and believe me, we-- we-- we-- we're very grateful
for all the help you've given us in the past.
-(METAL CLANKS) -(GROANS)
-TABITHA: Chris? -Oh, um...
-TABITHA: Is everything okay? -No, I'm sorry. I'm still here.
Yeah, um...
(LIPS SMACKING) Uh... It's just, I need you to...
promise me something, Tabitha. Um...
You see, I've-- I've-- I've done something rather silly...
and it might sound bad,
might sound very bad, even, but it's not what it seems.
Not at all. It's not what it seems,
and, um, just needs a little bit of clearing up, that's all.
So... that's why I need you to promise me.
I need you to promise me
that you won't tell the police.
There you go. Can you promise me that, Tabitha?
Uh... Because I can't...
I can't let Susan down.
Do you understand?
She's...
She's very, uh, fragile, yes.
TABITHA: Just tell me what you need, Christopher.
I'm always here for you, you know that.
(EXHALES)
SUSAN: So, how was it?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Yes. (EXHALES)
It's, uh... (EXHALES)
-Yes. Hard to tell, isn't it? -Yeah. But good, do you think?
Uh... Well, my head's a bit, um...
-but yes. -Oh, I knew it.
-Do you want a coffee? -Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, excusez-moi.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
-WAITRESS: (SPEAKS FRENCH) -Merci.
(INHALES)
Yeah, I was actually just, uh...
I was just thinking. (EXHALES) Supposing I do get this job...
I mean, I still wouldn't be paid for a few weeks, would I?
We're behind on the rent. And it--
it's not like other times, Susan.
We're... We could be in...
-Merci. -Thank you. Merci.
We could be in trouble.
So...
I was thinking, maybe, to take the pressure off,
we could try to borrow some money.
You know, I could ask
my stepmother, Tabitha. She's, uh...
You think? She's family, isn't she?
No.
-Really? I mean, would you-- -But no one knows
where we are or why.
And you'd possibly have to tell,
wouldn't you? You'd have to explain a little
why we're here, and then,
-she could tell the police, couldn't she? -(SIGHS)
-SUSAN: Not we've done anything wrong. -The police?
Why would she do that? I don't think there's any danger of her doing that.
-She's family. -No, Chris.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
Look, we're doing fine.
We're just going through a bit of a sticky patch, that's all.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. (INHALES)
(EXHALES) Forget I mentioned it. It's a silly idea.
-Silly. -(PHONE RINGING TONE TRILLS)
(PHONE RINGING TONE TRILLS)
OPERATOR: Thank you for calling Nottinghamshire Police.
Please leave a message after the tone.
(BEEP)
TABITHA: My name is Doctor Tabitha Edwards.
I'm calling to report something rather...
Well, I don't know what to make of it, frankly.
My stepson just told me over the telephone...
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
...that he buried his wife's parents
in a garden near Nottingham fifteen years ago.
So, I'm just curious to know
if there were any reports of a couple
by the name of William and Patricia Wycherley
going missing around that time?
(TRAFFIC NOISE)
-EMMA LANCING: Sir? -TONY COLLIER: No.
-Sir? -COLLIER: Go away!
Fuck off, Emma. I'm having my lunch.
Have you got a minute, sir?
We've just received a tip. There are two bodies buried
in a back garden in a house in Mansfield.
Woman called Tabitha Edwards...
-was informed yesterday... -(EXHALES)
...by her stepson, Christopher.
-When? -LANCING: Fifteen years ago.
Fifteen years? Fuck off.
Stop telling me to fuck off please, sir.
(SLURPS, SPITS)
Bloody hell. Why is this so fucking hot?
-(INHALES) -Well, it's a flask, sir.
Fucking Mount Etna, that is. Ridiculous.
-Can't feel my fucking mouth. -It's his in-laws apparently, sir.
-His what? -The bodies.
Says he didn't actually kill them.
Says it was an accident.
Rang to ask his stepmom for some money
-and then he just sort of spilled the beans. -Right.
-Does he know that we know? -She's made him aware, yeah.
Just, um, sent him an email, apparently.
Sent an email?
What? "Dear Christopher, I've told the fucking police"?
CHRISTOPHER: I told her in strict confidence!
I asked her not to tell anyone.
I'm as disappointed as you are. I'm...
I'm-- I'm disgusted, actually.
Darling, she wasn't gonna send any money
unless I told her what was going on
and why we needed it. Put yourself in my shoes.
What was I supposed to do? We'll be living on the streets,
eating croissants out of rubbish bins next!
Is that what you want?
We'd still be together though, wouldn't we?
It's okay.
Just have to move again.
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)
(BREATHES SHAKILY)
(OBJECTS CLATTER)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
-CHRISTOPHER: Susan-- -SUSAN: (SHOUTS) No!
You were supposed to protect me!
I have protected you! I am. I'm trying!
But we both knew this day would come.
But it's not your decision, Chris! There are two of us here!
We're in this together, aren't we?
(SHOUTS) Aren't we?
Yes.
And now, after all this time, I'd do it for you.
I'd live on the streets for you. I'd eat rubbish for you!
I'd eat a croissant out of a bin for you.
-CHRISTOPHER: Well, we're not quite there yet. -But I would, though!
(QUIETLY) Yeah.
CHRISTOPHER: Let's get this cleared up, shall we?
Then how about a film?
Would you like to watch a film?
(SIGHS)
(CAR APPROACHES)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(DOG BARKS)
PAUL WILKIE: Yeah, that's it there, number seven.
LANCING: It's not number seven, mate. It's number five.
WILKIE: Oh, right.
LANCING: That's the house over there.
So, shall we park up
-over there, then? -Yeah. All right, all right.
I'm on it, I'm on it.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
LANCING: Just don't make a scene.
WILKIE: Why would I make a scene?
LANCING: Because you're a twat.
-WILKIE: You're a twat. -(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
LANCING: Why are you doing that? I just rang the bell.
Can you stand a bit further away from me, please?
WILKIE: What you on about? I'm not even standing that-- Oh!
-Afternoon. -Good afternoon, sir.
Sorry to bother you. We're from Nottingham Police.
We're following up a report of a historic crime in the area
and, uh, wonder if we could have a quick chat.
-DANNY: Oh, right. Um... -If that's not too much trouble.
DANNY: No, sure. Uh...
Come in. I've got my youngest asleep upstairs, though,
if you don't mind creeping.
LANCING: All right, no problem.
-Perhaps we could go through to the garden? -Yeah, sure.
WILKIE: Yes, assuming you've got a garden.
You what?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Yeah.
(QUIETLY) Twat.
How long you've been here, if you don't mind me asking?
(SIGHS) Going on eight years.
LANCING: Nice neighborhood?
Yeah, it's nice enough.
Pretty quiet, to be honest with you,
but, uh, well, we like it.
WILKIE: Do you know who lived here before, by any chance?
A elderly couple, apparently. I'd have to check the, um...
-Wycherley? -DANNY: Huh?
-Was it, uh... -(LIGHTER CLICKING)
...William and Patricia Wycherley, by any chance?
DANNY: Yeah, rings a bell. Um...
Why? Is this about them?
NIGEL: It wasn't me.
♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
NIGEL: Whatever it is you're investigating, officers,
it wasn't me.
LANCING: Hello, there.
DANNY: That's, uh-- That's Nigel.
He likes to talk to us through the hedge.
All right, Nige?
NIGEL: Well, I should be happy to move to the gap
if that's preferable, officers.
There's a gap just down there. Shall we do that?
This is what I mean by a gap.
It's quite handy for talking across gardens.
DANNY: What's on the barbie today, then, Nige?
Been having quite a few, so I've noticed. (CHUCKLES)
NIGEL: Well, you're always welcome to join us, Danny,
you know that.
Briony! There's a couple of police officers here
asking poor Danny some questions about the Wycherleys.
Could you bring out some more bangers?
I think it'd be fair to say
they were slightly peculiar neighbors.
Although we didn't see a great deal of them, did we, Bri?
No, not much.
-We heard them mostly. -Yeah.
-Playing that strange organ. -Oh!
Morning, afternoon, evening.
Apart from that, they kept themselves to themselves.
Hmm.
Do you need more ketchup, officer? It's homemade.
Mm. No. I'm good thanks. These are...
These are really nice. Thank you. Hmm.
So, you can hear quite well then, can you?
Your neighbors.
NIGEL: Oh, very well. You can hear everything.
Anything untoward or unusual while the Wycherleys were here?
NIGEL: Ah, it's just the normal sort of bickering, I suppose.
Occasional rows.
(GASPS) Oh, they were quite funny together, mind.
You see, on the rare occasion that you'd see them out,
on the way to the shops, for example,
Patricia would walk two or three yards behind William.
A sort of Victorian thing, like she was his chattel.
So, I-- I-- I don't know if that could be used as a...
clue of some kind.
(RAIN PATTERING)
I'll bear that in mind, thank you. (INHALES)
Do you know what came of them? When they left, where they went?
Blackpool then Ireland's what we heard. Yeah.
-For the air. -Yeah. Yeah.
-Big smokers, both of them. -NIGEL: Left their daughter
and their son-in-law to look after the place.
-Son-in-law mainly, Chris. Uh... -And, um,
when would the Wycherleys have gone to Blackpool?
-NIGEL: Oh, let's see, what, ten? -BRIONY: Fift...
-Fifteen. -Fifteen. Fifteen years ago.
-Hmm. -Yeah, well before they actually sold the place.
It were Christopher who told us they'd gone.
He were the only one we'd chat with from time to time.
Yeah, when they were doing the garden.
-What? -What about the...
-(WHISPERS) -Oh! (CHUCKLES)
Uh-- Yeah, yeah, another funny thing, actually.
There was a morning, about that time,
when I woke up early, as I sometimes do,
and I looked out my window,
and I saw Chris digging a hole in the Wycherleys' garden.
Quite a deep hole. Very deep, in fact.
Now, he was probably just planting those rhododendrons
that you'd seen round at Danny's but, uh,
we joked about it, didn't we?
'Cause we said he's probably burying his in-laws. (LAUGHS)
Because it was about that time that they'd, uh, moved away.
So, I don't know if that could be used as a...
some kind of clue?
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(DOG BARKS)
-OFFICER 1: Let him through. Let him through. -Go on, you go out.
-OFFICER 1: Keep going. -Edward, on your scooter.
Go through. Yeah.
DANNY: Hold on. Edward, hold on, wait for your sister.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO)
COLLIER: Dear, Mr. Edwards,
please forgive my contacting you directly...
but your stepmother, Dr. Tabitha Edwards,
has been kind enough to pass along
your email address.
She indicated you may be in possession
of some information of possible interest to us
and if you'd be good enough to share your telephone number,
we'd very much like to speak with you
at your earliest convenience.
Even better would be the opportunity
to arrange for a personal interview,
although Dr. Edwards informs us
that you may currently be residing abroad.
I want to reassure you that in that event,
we don't believe it's in anyone's interests
to trouble the local authorities.
Yours truly, Detective Chief Inspector Tony Collier.
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
AMY FOWLER: (ON TV) Why are you stopping?
It's no good. I've got to go back, Amy.
Why?
(SIGHS) This is crazy. I haven't even got any guns.
AMY FOWLER: (ON TV) Then let's go on. Hurry.
-(BIRDS CHIRP) -WILL KANE: (ON TV) No.
They're making me run.
I've never run from anybody before.
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(DOG BARKS)
THOMAS MITCHELL: There's gonna be fighting
when Kane and Miller meet.
-And somebody's gonna get hurt. -(CLOCK TICKING)
-That's for sure. -(CLOCK TICKING)
(TRAIN HORN BLARES)
-ACTOR 1: Everything ready? -ACTOR 2: Sure, just the way you want it, Frank.
ACTOR 3: Yeah, we've got your gun over here.
ACTOR 1: Let's get started, then.
(HORSES GALLOP IN FILM)
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
♪ (SPAGHETTI WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(GUN IS COCKED)
-CHRISTOPHER: Dear DCI Collier. -(GUNSHOT)
Thank you for your considerate message.
My wife Susan and I would be delighted
to assist you in any way we can...
-(GUNSHOT) -CHRISTOPHER: ...and to put this
whole matter behind us once and for all.
We agree that it's in everyone's interests
to avoid involving the French police.
I'm afraid, however, that our return to England
may not happen as soon as you might prefer.
-Good afternoon. -(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)
How many leads do you have besides the garden?
CHRISTOPHER: I'm sure that you understand that my first duty
is to my wife.
She is of a very fragile disposition
and we have been leading a peaceful...
existence here in France.
I'd be worried about inflicting unnecessary stress
and it could take her some time to come round to the idea
of leaving this country to return to the UK.
-(INDISTINCT CLAMOR ON TV) -CHRISTOPHER: Nevertheless, do let's stay in touch.
We look forward to the opportunity
to clear our names as soon as possible.
You have my word.
Yours very sincerely,
Christopher Edwards.
(GUNSHOT ECHOES LOUDLY)
♪ (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
♪ (MUSIC BECOMES SERENE) ♪
(CAMERA FOCUSES, SHUTTER CLICKS)
COLLIER: In answer to the question on everyone's mind,
-I can confirm that... -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
...yesterday morning, two bodies were found buried
in the back garden of a house in Mansfield.
At present, we cannot confirm the identities of the deceased,
nor do we know the cause of death
or the circumstances under which they came to be buried
in that location.
That being said, we do have some leads
and we hope to be making significant progress
-over the coming days. -(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)
LANCING: "Do let's keep in touch." I'm sorry, but what is that?
COLLIER: Psychopath. Written all over it.
LANCING: Why can't we just get a warrant,
have the French track them down and pick them up
before they get away?
What we arresting them for, Emma? Writing a weird email?
LANCING: Prevention of a lawful and decent burial?
Double murder?
Hey! Good one!
Let's go and arrest them, then, shall we? Off we pop!
Oh, hang on a minute.
Where the fuck did the murders take place?
When the fuck? Who the fuck was involved? How the fuck?
European Arrest Warrant.
Because, thank you, Paul...
that's what we need for a European Arrest Warrant,
minimum.
So, they can just stay there as long as they like?
Yes. He's thick as two short planks
-and he knows that. -Cheers, mate.
At the minute, all we've got are those bullets,
a nutty professor who got a dodgy phone call
from some bloke in Lille, a pair of rickety old skeletons
in a back yard, buried God knows when,
and a vague proclamation of innocence
from a man who writes very polite emails
to the police.
So, either we come up with some hard evidence
or Croque Madame and her pen-pal Muppet husband
can carry on with their French bloody holiday
for as long as they damn well please.
I'll see you in ten minutes. I'm getting a fucking sandwich.
LANCING: So what do we make of this "fragile" business then?
"She's of a very fragile disposition."
He's just saying whatever comes into his head, isn't he?
To fuck with us.
I hate that.
Fragile people.
All right.
We've got nothing to go on, do we?
She might not even be that fragile.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
But he didn't need to tell his stepmom
that he'd buried those bodies in the garden, did he?
He's answering questions no one's even asked.
And they're not even his parents,
so what's he doing burying them in the fucking garden?
If...
If he did bury them.
I don't know.
‘Cause they're heavy?
Oh, it can't just be that.
I've got tits, I could dig a fucking hole if I had to.
"Fragile."
I know what fragile fucking means.
It means you're in charge.
You're the one who gets drunk and ends up in hospital.
You're the one who gets sad and lashes out.
You're the pain in the arse, basically.
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
My, um...
My mom always says about relationships
that one of you is the gardener and the other one's the garden.
♪ (OPERA MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
Right.
What does that mean?
Don't know.
I fucking hate gardening.
♪ (OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(SIGHS)
REPORTER: (ON RADIO) What happened here is unknown,
but over 13 years ago,
two bodies were buried in this garden.
Only discovered by police on Thursday,
officers were led to the house
after receiving information last week
about an alleged incident in the late 1990s.
COLLIER: (ON TV) Our enquiries have confirmed
that in 1998, an elderly couple,
named William and Patricia Wycherley,
resided at the address in question.
We have, of course, been in contact
with former neighbors and relatives
of the Wycherleys,
and they've painted a picture of a quiet couple
who kept themselves to their selves,
and who appeared to have
very few close friends or assoc-- (TV SHUTS OFF)
I didn't finish that crossword.
SUSAN: Oh, well.
We can have another look at it later.
(INHALES) I've pressed your suit for you.
Thank you.
In case you get a second interview for that job.
I won't get a second interview. It's been a week.
Now, why would you say that? Why would you give up?
(SHOUTS) Because it was a terrible interview!
They've all been terrible.
It was a waste of time, and it was humiliating.
Have the... police replied to your message?
No, they haven't. And to tell you the truth...
I just think that the more we run,
the more guilty we'll seem.
They won't believe us.
I'm going for a shower.
-(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE) -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(DOOR CLOSES LOUDLY)
Forensics confirms that one of the bodies is male,
the other is female.
We recovered two .38-caliber bullets
from each of the wrappings around the body.
Looks most likely that both were shot twice in the chest
using the same weapon.
Obviously, we are yet to hear any more from the Edwardses,
but I think it's fair to say that whoever killed these people
probably killed them on purpose.
-♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(MIRROR SQUEAKS)
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES, CALMS) ♪
♪ (MUSIC BECOMES PENSIVE) ♪
(DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE)
(GRUNTS)
BOTH: (CHUCKLE)
CHRISTOPHER: (EXHALES)
Bon appétit.
-Thank you. -(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
(SLURPING)
-CHRISTOPHER: Mmm. -(CHUCKLES)
CHRISTOPHER: Mmm. (SWALLOWS, SMACKS LIPS)
Sorry, Chris. (INHALES SHAKILY)
-Wh-- What's the matter? -I'm so sorry. (SOBS)
(MUMBLES, SNIFFLES)
-It's all my fault. (SNIFFLES) -Hey.
-No, it's not, Susan. -It is. (INHALES SHAKILY)
It's not your fault. Don't you ever think that.
(INHALES SHAKILY) I've ruined your life.
-Oh! (CHUCKLES) -(SOBS)
You haven't ruined my life.
-How can you say such a thing? -(SOBS)
(SNIFFLES)
-Because... -You are my life.
You're my whole life. You know that.
(SNIFFLES, INHALES SHARPLY)
-(INHALES SHARPLY) -Come on, now.
-(SNIFFLES) -Everything's gonna be just...
-fine. -(BREATHES SHAKILY)
Everything is gonna be all right.
Okay, baby?
I promise.
♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
♪ (MUSIC QUIETENS) ♪
-(CRICKETS CHIRP) -(DOG BARKS DISTANTLY)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(CRACKLING)
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
CHRISTOPHER: Dear DCI Collier,
we note the growing notoriety of your inquest
and possible assumptions about our involvement.
We have, therefore, decided to return
to England immediately.
We prefer this approach
rather than to leave ourselves open to a surprise arrest,
since my wife is already sufficiently frightened.
-(KNOCKING, DOOR OPENS) -Sorry to interrupt, but,
uh, this just came in from Christopher Edwards, sir.
(DOOR SQUEAKS, CLOSES)
-You, get me London. -(TELEPHONE RINGS)
-OFFICER: Yes, sir. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-You, get me the British Transport Police, ASAP. -MACBRIDE: Yeah, on it, sir.
-(TELEPHONE RINGS) -Emma, where the fuck are ya?
Later this evening,
my wife and I will board the Eurostar
and surrender ourselves to the authorities
-at St. Pancras Station. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
We do have one small favor to ask.
Since same-day tickets are so pricey,
and we find ourselves
a bit short of funds at the moment,
could you be so kind as to arrange tickets for us
on the 23.34 departure from Lille?
We should then arrive shortly before midnight
-if there are no delays. -(MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVS)
CHRISTOPHER: Yours sincerely, Christopher Edwards.
LANCING: Tickets booked, sir. Coach five, seats 61 and 62.
Brilliant. Get in the back.
-LANCING: What? -I'm not getting in the fucking back. Are you joking?
-LANCING: (SIGHS) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-LANCING: Sorry, can you just bear with for a sec? -COLLIER: Come on. Fuck's sake.
-Back door lock might be on. -LANCING: Can you let me in?
-It's a child lock or summat. -COLLIER: Fuck's sake.
-The country's finest spring into action. -LANCING: Fucking hell. Right.
-Yeah, what were you saying? -WILKIE: Buckle up. Come on.
LANCING: I do beg your pardon, we just needed to sort something else out.
(SIRENS WAIL)
CHRISTOPHER: Come on, love.
Susan, we really need to get that train.
Please?
-♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
It's not so bad now we're on our way, is it?
Feel quite calm, actually.
You know, I think it's a good thing that you spoke to Tabitha
and that she told the police.
It's about time they knew, isn't it?
-Hmm. -They ought to know.
And what have we got to worry about?
We know what happened.
We just have to stick to the plan and tell them.
Don't we? Like we've been saying, stick to the plan.
That's right, darling. Stick to the plan.
How much money have you got?
-Not much. -How much?
About...
two euros something. (SIGHS)
I've got one and a bit. Hand it over.
Might as well use it up!
(CHUCKLES)
COLLIER: Do you know what I find weird, though?
It's those long scotch eggs. Do you know the ones
that you get at service stations?
Oh, my God, yeah. It's all powdered, isn't it?
First time I saw it, I was like,
"Show me the chicken that laid that egg."
-(CHUCKLE) -Do you know what I mean?
(CHUCKLES)
-Did you say something, Emma? -What?
No, just saying about
those long scotch eggs.
-Service stations. -(CHUCKLES)
Like, "Show me the chicken that laid that."
-WILKIE: (CHUCKLES) -LANCING: (GRUNTS)
-'Cause it's a weird egg. -LANCING: Yeah.
Fuck's sake. Is this thing on?
♪ (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
COLLIER: (GROANS)
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER SPEAKERS)
Hey.
Guess who I thought I just saw in the buffet car.
-Who? -Gérard.
-Depardieu? -Yeah, Gérard Depardieu.
He was heading over from business class
and I thought, "Oh, my goodness, that's him!"
But it wasn't?
No. Can't have been, can it?
No, it's just someone who looked like him.
(CHUCKLES)
♪ (LIVELY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SIRENS BLARE)
(TRAIN RUMBLES OVER TRACKS)
(TRAIN HORN BLARES)
(WIND HOWLS)
♪ (LIVELY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(TIRES SCREECH)
-(RAIL CROSSING BELL RINGS) -(STEAM ENGINE CHUFFS)
♪ (MUSIC CALMS) ♪
PATRICIA WYCHERLEY: (SHOUTS) ...fucking saying.
I am just spending a few seconds alone with my own daughter.
What do you need? Just get down the staircase.
Go on, just get up to your bedroom!
♪ (LIVELY MUSIC PICKS UP) ♪
Oh, Chris.
CHRISTOPHER: (BREATHES SHAKILY, SNIFFLES)
It's all right. (BREATHES SHAKILY)
I'm stronger than I look. (SOBS)
Chris, I don't think I can say goodbye to you.
No one is saying goodbye, my love.
There are no goodbyes between us.
I'll never leave you. You know that.
Never.
Give me your passport.
Are you ready, darling?
Suppose so.
(SIRENS BLARE)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO)
-COLLIER: DCI Collier, Nottingham Police. -OFFICER: Sir.
COLLIER: I'm the SIO.
♪ (LIVELY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
ANNOUNCER: The next train to arrive at platform 11
will be the 23.34...
-LANCING: Right, I'll take up here. -...Eurostar service
-from Lille. -WILKIE: I'll go up and round.
ANNOUNCER: The next train to arrive at plat...
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
You got eyes on them, Paul? Over.
SUSAN: Where did they say to meet them?
By the south-west...
exit of the St. Pancras Hotel car park,
which I think is this way.
COLLIER ON RADIO: Paul, come in.
Have you got eyes on them? Over.
WILKIE: Not yet, sir, but eyes peeled. Over.
♪ (MUSIC CALMS, CONTINUES) ♪
CHRISTOPHER: Sorry. Excuse me. Terribly sorry.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
I think I might have spotted them, sir.
What are they doing?
They're just sort of walking, sir.
In your direction. Over.
CHRISTOPHER: Remember, one step at a time... (EXHALES)
...like we said.
They arrest us, they read us our rights.
We know what we're gonna say. We've gone through it
a thousand times and we're ready.
But don't say a word without a solicitor.
-Right? -Yes.
And remember, if you don't like the first one they offer,
ask to meet another. You're in charge.
Then come the police interviews.
They'll try to confuse you, but don't let them.
Just tell our story, simply and calmly.
No need to make anything up. Just tell them the truth.
Yes, just tell them the truth.
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
♪ (MUSIC BUILDS TO CLIMAX) ♪
Good evening.
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
REPORTER 1: Susan and Christopher Edwards
might have seemed like an ordinary couple,
but together, they had carried a sinister secret
for over fifteen years.
REPORTER 2: Buried in the rear garden
of this unassuming Mansfield property
were the bodies of Susan's parents.
REPORTER 3: Remains found last month are believed
to be those of William and Patricia Wycherley.
REPORTER 4: Buried in the back garden
of a semi-detached house at Forest Town in Mansfield.
Following a tip-off, police make a grim discovery.
One woman said she knew of an elderly couple
who were here in the '90s.
One day, they just disappeared.
Everyone assumed that they'd emigrated,
and no one thought anything of it.
REPORTER 5: A postmortem examination revealed
they'd both been shot twice with a revolver
similar to this one.
In panic, the Edwards fled to France
before eventually contacting police in the UK
when they ran out of money.
In an email, Christopher Edwards wrote,
"We're going to surrender ourselves
-to the UK authorities." -(SIREN BLARES)
REPORTER 6: Late last night, at St. Pancras Station,
husband and wife Susan and Christopher Edwards...
REPORTER 7: ...were arrested on suspicion of murder...
REPORTER 8: ...on their return from France.
REPORTER 9: They have since been escorted
back to Nottinghamshire,
where they'll be held in custody for the next 24 hours
to be questioned by police.