Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver
Yeah, I just...
I thought it would look good here.
It's not like... the documentary is not about roofs.
Oh, it's not?
I was under the impression it was about roofs.
Well, if it's not about roofs then, I mean.
I'll tell you...
I'll tell you when the camera turns on.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, like, don't be nervous.
I'm not nervous.
I think you're gonna think this is really cool.
I think you really gonna like it.
I hope I have the answers you're looking for.
I think you're the expert.
Is it about, like, panic attacks, or...
Writer's block?
Is your phone off?
Oh. No.
I am filming this, but don't worry.
You'll understand why in a minute.
- Okay. - Is that okay?
- Sure. - Great.
So the reason I brought you up to this roof
is because I'm filming a documentary
based on a compliment given to me by Scott and Stephanie.
And as you know, they don't offer compliments lightly.
Right.
Basically, they told me that I would make a good murderer.
Huh. Yeah, I can see that.
So I've filmed some fun stuff,
but I haven't done the climax yet.
And what I'd really like to do is to film a scene
where I would walk people through how I would commit
the perfect murder.
Okay. Cool, I like it.
So first things first, I would need a good victim
and it's really hard to pick the right person.
But I was thinking if I had to pick someone
I'd want somebody that I could justify.
Somebody that I know who has done some awful things
and has really hurt people that I cared about
who didn't deserve it.
And I was thinking about you and your girlfriend.
You don't have to worry 'cause on camera so far,
I've given you guys code names.
I know it's kind of shocking
that she is the most unkind person in the world
I know personally.
But it makes sense because somebody has to be.
And, um, it's her.
I guess I just have never seen or even heard about
anybody being as cruel to anyone else
for the worst reasons as her.
Uh...
So, I was wondering, what I'd like to do
is to come over to your place with Olivia and the camera.
And we would say that we were doing a location scout
and we were there to measure stuff and get some pictures.
But the whole time
I'd be wearing a mask.
Like a scary animal mask.
And I just wouldn't explain why.
And, I'll be walking around and I'll be looking
at your place and I'll be talking to the camera
and I'll say things like,
"Here's a good window where I could come in."
Or I'll point out that there are locks on the bedroom doors.
And that would be a challenge, blah, blah, blah.
Just, you know, narrate to the camera
this hypothetical murder, and then leave.
I-I'm not pitching this right.
Gillian, are you... are you fucking serious?
I'm not sure I understand corre...
Like, you're asking me to come over to my house...
Yeah.
And let you walk through
how you would murder my girlfriend?
It's just theoretical.
It's not how I really would do it or would want to do it.
It's just hypothetically how it would be done.
Like, do you get how fucked up that is?
Like on countless levels?
What is your problem with?
Uh, I just don't think it's okay
that she's so emotionally abusive and manipulative.
Uh, like when she destroyed your only means
of earning a living when she threw your laptop out a window.
But that was...
And there were scripts on there that you never recovered.
That was, like, a really low point for both of us.
And she felt really bad and she replaced it.
'Cause she could hopefully afford to buy you a new Mac,
but she can't ever make up the stuff that you had on there.
And I just don't think there's any excuse
to ever do anything like that,
to somebody that you say that you love.
You don't know anything about our relationship
and you don't know her.
People don't throw other people's computers
out of windows.
Otherwise, there would be computers all over the place
because lots of people are in relationships.
You'd see broken laptops down the street...
You don't anything about our relationship.
It's true. You don't know her.
You don't know what's
- going on with us. - I know her.
I don't understand where this is coming from.
Like, she does not feel this way about you.
She really likes you.
She's always disliked me.
- No. - It's bullshit.
She would talk shit about me in school,
- and I barely knew her. - Oh, God.
In school?
Like 10 years ago? 12 years ago?
I mean, I didn't really care about it
because who the fuck cares what she thought?
Yeah, it seems like you really didn't care about it at all.
Well, she brought my mom into it.
What the... your mom?
I'm not kidding.
She, like, couldn't believe that my mother
would let me, like, make such disturbing films.
- What... she did not say that. - No, she did.
She does not care about
what kind of films you made.
- It's just really uncalled for. - Pbbt.
Like I needed to ask my mommy for permission.
- Give me a break. Like... - No, that's true.
- That's not... - That really happened.
I don't believe you.
Look, I don't care
what she thinks about me.
What I care about is how she treats you.
Oh, my God, dude.
I feel like I have opened up to you
and told you stuff in confidence that you're now bringing up
in a context that is completely, like...
I mean, the context I'm talking about
is just the facts.
No, it's the context of, like, you inviting me here
and putting me on camera and bringing up
all this personal shit that I've shared with you.
I'm... I'm sorry. I...
Like, I'm never gonna be able to tell her about this,
I'm just gonna have to keep it a secret, I guess.
So now I have this secret from her,
and I'm gonna feel incredibly guilty about it
all the time.
And I already feel like...
I'm sorry.
It's just putting me in, like, an insane position.
I'm so... I'm sorry.
Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Look, I... I don't kn... I just don't...
I just don't like to see her doing this to you.
Okay. I just... I don't know
if you...
if you really understand how fucked up this is
and like what position it's putting me in.
But I, uh...
I don't... I don't know.
I'm so sorry.
I just fucked up everything.
Do you want to cut?
Cut.
Hello?
Aaron?
Hey, Gillian. How's it going?
Um, fine.
Is this supposed to be a video call?
I'm just seeing your ear.
Oh, shit, really?
Yeah.
Do you wanna rearrange things
and give me a call back?
No, it's okay. This won't take too long.
Oh.
I thought we were finally talking about
"The Young Ambassadors."
Did you read the script?
Yeah, I did.
Okay.
I'm still just seeing your ear,
and it's just like really funny to just keep talking to you.
Gillian, it's really great.
I just don't think I can do anything with it.
I don't understand.
Um, it's the exact same thing
that I pitched to you in February
in your office, scene for scene.
And you said that you loved it
and that you couldn't wait to read it.
It's really, really well-written, very funny.
It's just, Israel is such a political topic.
- Yeah. - And Robin,
she's just not really likable.
It's on me.
I just don't know who to send it to.
So since I sent it to you around four months ago,
you haven't sent it to anyone?
No.
I'm just... I mean, like, I'm kind of surprised
because, you know, I thought that, like, you know,
we had this great meeting, and you know,
you were... together and like,
we're gonna do all these great things.
And you were gonna, you know, get it out there, and...
Yeah, well, look, Gillian, I just don't think
I can do anything for it.
Well, what about the other scripts?
Mm, no, not for any of it.
I just can't do anything.
I'm sorry, I just feel like maybe we're not the right fit.
Uh, you know, if... if, um...
if I'm not who you need me to be, um,
and you can't do things that you said
that you were going to do,
then I think that, yeah, we shouldn't...
we shouldn't work together anymore.
Um, so it's mutual. I un...
Hello? Gillian, are you there?
Yeah, I'm st... I'm still here.
Bye, Gillian. Good luck.
Uh, uh...
Bye.
Something that you guys told me last year,
really stuck with me.
It was a compliment
and I-I don't forget compliments,
but that's not why I kept thinking about it.
I think I remember, we said
you'd probably make a pretty good murderer.
What did you... what did you mean by that?
I have always hated this project.
It's not done yet.
I just hate what it is.
I don't want to use real names
because people's feelings might get hurt
and it's legally incriminating.
Let's call our friend...
Bowie because he's cool.
And we can call his girlfriend Stalin.
I couldn't find any redeeming features about her,
except that she is very attractive and...
I don't think it's healthy.
I don't think you're healthy.
I'm not healthy.
So I would like you to be accessories to my murder.
That would mean a lot to me.
Do you think I have the qualities of a good murderer?
No. Not my baby.
I don't know. I mean, what's better?
Like, me just, like, sitting around and not doing anything?
Yes.
Do you think that I'm capable of anything
that I put my mind to?
Yes, I do.
Is that what you want?
You want me to just, like, come home
and, like, you know, give you, like, a whiskey highball?
That sounds amazing.
Do you think that in the course of writing
for the show "Hannibal,"
you feel like you've accumulated
the necessary experience and insight to plan a murder?
Murder is probably not realistically
depicted on television.
So I wouldn't take your cues from that.
I would do some Googling first.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Dave.
You would make an amazing murderer.
Like, you will plan things out.
You will pay attention to detail.
You will also be in charge of the entire situation.
You don't give in.
Yeah, I think he did really good.
Yeah, he did great.
You barely listen to other people's opinions,
and yet they... like, you know, you-you don't
because you have a vision.
You're my special boy.
Yeah.
Stalin isn't buried at the Hollywood Cemetery.
He's buried at the Kremlin.
I checked.
But this is where I would bury Stalin
and murder her.
If I did it.
As you can see, I'm wearing a disguise.
I'm dressed as a tourist visiting the old graves here.
What if dyed my hair?
I don't think that would look good.
I mean, it doesn't look good.
Stalin's an actress.
So it'd be pretty easy to lure her out here
by telling her that I'm shooting a short here
and casting her in it.
And then when nobody else shows up,
she'll ask, where is everybody?
And I'll say...
It's not gonna cut together.
It's a jump cut.
That's not really how jump cuts work.
The concept of working isn't inherent in jump cuts.
They're an icon classic.
Now all I have to do is roll her into the grave,
cover it up, and make sure I take everything with me.
You are not a blonde.
I'm gonna surprise you.
Now, if you show up with blonde hair,
it's not a surprise.
You're just doing what I assume that you were gonna do.
To surprise me is if we live, like, the rest of our lives
and you're never a blonde.
That would be, like, the best surprise.
Olivia.
Can you show me how to work this thing?
Oh, yeah.
Whoa.
No problem.
So this one here is the zoom
and then the one up front is the focus.
Mm-hmm. And that's all you gotta do.
Easy-breezy.
Easy. All right, let me try.
Wh... what are you shooting?
I'm resurrecting the "I Murderer," project.
Really?
What happened to the Israel feature?
Um, yeah, that's not happening.
Why?
I think that it's because my manager
finally read the script
and he fired me
because Israel is a political subject,
which maybe you didn't know.
And also because the female lead wasn't likable enough.
Uh, I guess I just don't know what likable is.
Taking your shirt off, I guess.
I don't know.
I... don't ask me.
Aaron was my manager.
And so, you know, his assistant was this girl named Diane.
So she said that she would try as, like, a last favor,
she would try and get me a meeting with some guys.
I just don't think that's gonna happen.
So I realized I just can't sit back and wait
for permission from some guy to make a movie.
I've got to find a project that I can do by myself.
Um, you know, nobody wants you to make a movie
as much as you want to make one yourself.
It just makes sense.
Nobody cares as much as you do.
So you've got to go out and just make it happen.
Preach it, girl.
So do you want to shoot
this low-budget indie
with lots of integrity?
Not really.
Sorry, I just... I...
you know, integrity is great and all,
but it's not gonna pay my student loans.
Um, well,
could I just get your camera, then?
Oh, yeah. All yours.
- All right, - Go get them, tiger.
Hear these things shoot movies all by themselves.
Meow, meow, meow.
Let me see it.
Why are you doing this again?
I thought you hate being on camera.
Yeah, obviously.
I mean, I'm not as charismatic as Pepper.
I thought you said you can't control
what your mouth does or something.
Yeah, I have some kind of tic.
Looks really stupid.
So why are you doing it?
I don't know what else to do.
I just feel... fucked.
Hasn't this project
caused enough damage already?
Like, when's the last time you talked to Chase?
Have you guys started speaking again?
No, of course not.
But it can't get any worse, right?
Maybe we could meet up and I could apologize.
I put him in a really terrible position.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Yeah, so apologize,
but why are you starting it up again?
I just feel like I'm out of options.
And I already have the footage.
I could go to law school,
but I don't want to give up.
I feel like I'm close.
Maybe that's what all delusional people say.
This time, I want to fully commit
to doing this right
And by that, I mean, as authentic as possible.
I want to go through the whole arc of a murderer's career,
the whole criminal escalation.
But condensed into the length of a feature film.
In my research, I found that killers build up to a murder
as the culmination of a progression of thrills.
So I've got to do a small transgression
to start my adrenaline addiction.
Hello, Carrie?
I'm sorry I just had to FaceTime with you,
'cause I'm just feeling really bad.
I'm just a wreck. Like, Mom is not okay.
And like, I just don't know what to do, and I...
Excuse me, sir,
I was wondering, could you tell me
where I could find greeting cards
or like for a person who is very, very sick?
Oh, yeah, it's aisle six.
Aisle six? Thank you.
Have a great rest of your day.
Thank you.
Well, that was very anticlimactic.
I thought I was gonna make Cape Cods,
but I guess I'm just not self-destructive enough.
I think I'm gonna be a good girl
and go back inside and put it back.
And that is how you do a handcuff knot.
Hi.
How was work?
This job is gonna kill me.
Oh, no. Did they order Thai again?
No, I just spent all day in the edit bay,
taking notes from a 42-year-old woman
who has absolutely zero experience.
Like, you know,
no one wants more than me for there to be parity
and job opportunities for female filmmakers.
But it's like, fuck.
Every time that we have a woman director,
they're always asking me like, "What do you think?"
And I'm like, "It's a superhero teen show.
Just destroy the city already. It's not that hard."
And they're like, "Yeah, but I just really want for people to,
"you know, think of her ability to turn invisible
as signifying the construction of femininity."
Just completely overthinking it."
Next thing you know, it's, like, a 14-hour day
and all the characters now have new Latino friends.
And I have no idea how to integrate it all.
And it's like, you know, I like to think of myself as an ally
or at least a sensitive person.
But I swear to God, by hour two of overtime,
I'm ready to just, like, slam my head into the desk
and just like, jizz all over my computer screen
so they can end the day.
How are you doing?
Did you hear from Diane about setting up the meeting
with big winner?
Why are you asking me that?
Don't you think I would have told you first thing if I did?
What is this?
It's something for the movie.
Um, just... I don't know if I'm gonna use it,
but I just made a lot of progress today,
and I want to keep my momentum going.
God, I don't even want to know what you mean by
"you made some progress."
What does that have to do with the project?
You'll see.
God, you are terrifying.
Like a psychopath.
You're my little psychopath.
You scary girl.
You're my scary girl.
Do you really think it's possible
that I'm a psychopath?
If so, when did you first recognize the signs,
and what were they?
Has... has that been recording this whole time?
Is that okay?
Am I scaring you?
Are you afraid of me?
Is your dick afraid of me?
Why?
You making a porn now?
Is that all you know how to do?
Wow.
That was really unfair.
I'm sorry. I'm kidding.
It's just, you know,
like everything that you make
has to do with sex.
You know that.
It's like, you're gonna be on camera.
Are you gonna be naked in this?
I don't know.
Probably.
- Yeah. - Really?
Like how naked?
Whoa.
Now I am scouting locations
for the next scene of the film.
For me to find the perfect place, a lot of elements
are gonna have to come together.
You'll see.
Wow.
Definitely not a murderer's best friend.
Wow.
I think I know her.
She's an actress.
She dresses like an actress.
I-I've definitely seen her in something.
Ground floor apartment, perfect.
I think it's carpet.
Yeah.
Carpet is perfect.
Although, I would never have carpet in my place.
I think it's disgusting.
There's always hair in it.
But for breaking and entering, it's ideal.
Less noise.
Wow. Is that a landline?
Okay, Mom.
Great. Easy.
Yesterday I nailed the first step.
I've got to keep my momentum going.
I feel like breaking and entering
is the natural progression story-wise.
In Joseph Campbell terms,
you're breaking the taboo
of moving from one space into another
and entering a new world.
I'm just gonna pop inside
and get the lay of the land.
And then I'll come back later
when it's time to complete the next, next step;
breaking and entering, when the occupant is home.
Lean in, baby.
Fuck.
Are you serious?
Jesus Christ.
- Hello? - Gillian!
Diane?
Did you get my email about the guys?
- Sorry, I was working. - Are you available now?
Yes, I am available now.
- They really wanna meet you. - Oh, my God.
I'll email you about parking.
- Send the email. - 3:15?
I'll be there. Oh.
- Excited for you. - Thanks.
Yes, okay, Thanks. Bye.
Bye, Gillian.
Thanks so much for squeezing me in.
I wa... I was so excited when Diane connected us.
Like, I love everything
that you guys are putting out right now.
Oh, that's nice.
No, thank you for, uh, coming down here,
coming all the way from New York to meet up.
It's really nice of you.
Oh, I actual...
I actually live here, in Highland Park.
Really?
Oh, I could have sworn you were a New York person.
You're not New York based?
No.
Oh, crazy. I could have sworn.
I could have... you seem like a... she has a New York vibe.
- Definitely. - Like more of a New York vibe.
You're definitely a smoker.
Not that you're in bad shape,
but you're not in, like, not in good shape.
Well, it's like a New York shape.
You guys don't mind if I film this, do you?
It's for a personal project that I'm working on.
Is that recording?
Yes.
both: Uh...
I'm not gonna post it or anything.
Right now in this current climate,
you can never have enough transparency.
Oh.
I mean, if it's about transparency,
then go ahead. We have nothing to hide.
- Second angle. - Oh.
Cool.
So tell me, what did you think of the script?
Uh, to be honest, we have not read the script,
- but we did watch the shorts... - Mm.
And they are, uh, fucked up.
- Super dark. - They're so fucked up.
- But kind of funny. - Yeah.
You seem like such a nice girl.
Yeah.
- Crazy. - Yeah.
You know, we want you to take risks.
You know, I would say, even go bigger, go bolder.
You know, make bigger choices. I would love that.
Yeah, yeah.
So we have a bunch of projects set up
actually here with strong female leads.
Well, I mean, I could
definitely come up with some ideas.
We wouldn't need you to. We already have a bunch.
Yeah, we have a bunch of stuff in development
of basically underrepresented voices, diversity...
Being an ally.
You might think people are white,
but they're not. Uh, intersexuality.
Intersectionality.
- Intersectionality. - Intersectionality.
- Uh, breastfeeding in public. - Uh-huh.
Intersectionality.
Cool.
So what would you like me to do?
Well, we want to see your take.
Yeah, you basically have to come up with a lookbook
for investors, which, um,
basically it looks like something like this.
You just have to come up with it.
And these are... these are probably like 50 pages
sort of you know, pictures of similar things, you know,
nice fonts, big font, put it together.
And this is fast track.
So we need that by next, uh, Friday.
Friday.
Well, these are really nice.
Yeah.
Like, they look so good.
Like I'm worried that I don't think
that I could come up with anything that looked
- as professional as this. - Oh, no, no, no.
Our friend made those in, like...
they're super easy.
They're super easy.
This is a really big opportunity for you, you know.
And, uh, we've been developing these ideas for a long time
and we are so close to finalizing the financing.
- So at this point... - That's so great.
You have a green light?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
- Um, so, just so I understand... - Mm-hmm.
Uh, you already have the script.
- Yeah. - Yeah, our buddy wrote it.
- Our buddy Derek. - Yeah.
Actually,
now that I'm thinking about it,
you guys have a ton in common.
Dude.
Don't they?
- Think about that. - Oh, my God.
You're like the female him,
but like weird and artsy.
Yeah, you guys should meet, actually.
I feel like you would actually... I'm not even joking.
I feel like you would get married.
Oh, dude, yes.
That'd be the most fucked up wedding.
Yeah, if you don't have any... if you're seeing anybody,
I feel like I could set you up.
- The fucking Addams Family. - Wow.
- I can give you his info later. - That sounds promising.
But we need an ally on your side, you know?
- Right. - Yeah.
Like, what do you mean?
You know, we just need someone like you
to, like, help spearhead these projects.
You know, someone with you, with a voice
and, you know, strong female voice and all that stuff.
There's a bunch of girls coming in to,
you know, to pitch on it.
- Oh. - Yeah.
Okay.
Only the best, of course, you know.
Okay. Okay, all right.
Thank you.
Do you have any other questions for us?
No.
Yeah, I'm just disappointed
because I thought there was...
could be prettier things in here
and there's just so much health stuff.
She has so many vitamins.
You'd think she thought she was gonna die or something.
I'm living my best life.
I'm not being creepy.
It's just a second angle
for coverage.
I really like that shirt on you.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry.
I should have asked.
But it's not like I was going to put it up on the internet.
It was just for me.
You don't need to tape us having sex.
We can just have sex.
But maybe someday we won't be able to have sex
because I'm gone.
Gone.
What do you mean, like dead?
No, not dead, just gone.
Gone somewhere where I can't have sex anymore.
So I'd really like to be able to watch us make love
so I could remember.
Okay, so then why do you wanna tape me eating you out?
Why not tape something that we're doing together?
Because it has to be something that I want to watch.
And we were getting there.
It would have happened too.
How about I make a pretty little documentary.
No, I don't want your dick in my movie.
Oh, my God. Guess who just texted?
- What's up? - Hi!
- How you doing? - I'm good.
Oh, my God.
It's good to see you.
It's so good to see you.
Is that a camera on your head?
Yes, it is.
I just got it.
Uh, I just feel like
the best way to make life more like a movie
is to film it.
Cool. Shall we?
Yeah, let's hike, bitch.
That thing looks way better on your head
than it does on mine.
Does it?
Pretty cool.
I don't know why they couldn't have just called in
a female director who's certified in Photoshop
and saved a lot of awkwardness
because it was one of the worst meetings that I've ever had.
I've just never felt like a commodity before.
But maybe that's because I've never been worth anything before
and maybe I just kinda don't know what it feels like.
It's not bad. It's just new.
Well, I don't know. Meetings are weird.
You know, they're like dates.
Yeah, and like a date,
I talked too much and I scared somebody.
Yeah, and then, you know, they never call you back.
And then you're at square one every time,
just like waiting for the next one to come up.
I'm really glad that we're doing this.
Me too.
I'm sad that all this time has gone by
without us meeting up or talking to each other,
but I understand.
I feel so bad about the position that I put you in.
I just felt really protective of you
and I couldn't bear to see you hurt,
but I realized it wasn't my call to make.
It's totally fine.
No, it's not.
You're a grown man.
You know, you were with the person that you wanna be with
because you wanna be with them.
I get it.
You know, I treated you like you were helpless,
and you're not.
And that doesn't reflect the respect that I have for you.
Appreciate you saying that, but it's totally cool.
I miss you too.
- Yay. - Yeah, this is good.
And it's really crazy timing, too, actually.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I don't know if you saw on social media or whatever, but...
No, I'm not on Facebook anymore.
It just makes me hate people.
Kinda feel you.
But anyway, yeah, we're getting married in like three weeks.
So I have to get your address before we leave.
It's gonna be, like, a massive wedding.
- There's gonna be four cakes. - What?
Yeah, four cakes.
No, I mean, what are you thinking?
What?
Why are you committing yourself to somebody
who emotionally abuses you and puts you in therapy?
I mean, why are you doing this to yourself?
I don't understand.
You're not a stupid person.
Are fucking kidding me?
You just said that you respected that I could, you know,
make my own decisions or whatever.
What the fuck you talking about?
How am I supposed to respect you
when you act like such a fucking victim?
Fuck you.
I mean, you're a wonderful person.
Oh, my God.
You have no trouble finding women.
You could easily be with somebody
who doesn't treat you like shit.
You should try it
before you marry the fucking devil.
Are you okay?
Were there peanuts in that bagel?
Peanuts?
No, you tasted it.
It was bacon and egg.
Sesame seeds or what?
No, I picked all of the sesame seeds off,
but they were out of all of the bagels
except for sesame seed,
so I just made sure they were all brushed off
'cause I know you hate them. I don't hate them!
I'm allergic to them!
Oh, no.
I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,
so, so, so, so sorry.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
I'm just gonna call... oh, shit.
Chase, there isn't a signal here.
We're in the middle of the city
and there is not a signal at all.
I don't know what to do.
- Don't panic. - I'm panicking.
- I can't feel my hands. - Tell me what to do.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
I'm really sorry, I'm panicking.
- There's an EpiPen in here. - There's an EpiPen?
What does it look like? Where is it?
I don't fucking see it.
I don't fucking see... oh, there it is.
My leg.
- I don't know how to use this! - Put it in my leg.
Shoot it in my leg.
Listen.
This is gonna seem really bad.
But you are gonna be so glad that I did this later.
I want to give this to you.
Just say that you won't marry her.
Gillian, come on.
I really want to give this to you.
Just say you won't marry her.
That's all you have to do.
I'm saving you from an expensive divorce
or years of misery or both.
I know this seems really unethical right now,
but I know it's the right thing to do.
Just say it, please.
Chase.
Why are you doing this?
Please, just say it.
Chase?
Chase.
Copy that.
Can I talk to you?
Yes.
Were you taping today?
No, I forgot to turn it on.
Otherwise, you'd be traumatized.
Okay.
So he had an allergic reaction.
You gave him a shot, but it was too late?
Yes.
You did everything you could.
It wasn't your fault.
It doesn't feel that way.
Hey, what's up?
Nothing.
How'd it go with Chase?
Is it water under the bridge?
Not exactly.
Never gonna see him again.
Hey, hey.
I think anybody who knows me
knows that what happened today,
I didn't mean to happen.
It's not fair.
She's the one who should be dead.
He was a wonderful person
and there are so many
terrible people in the world.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's also precipitated a very drastic tone change
in the film that I didn't want or anticipate.
Maybe a makeover sequence would lighten things up.
Babe, I think we need to talk.
You'll get used to the new me.
Do you think it's kind of sexy?
No.
Like you being unfaithful to your girlfriend,
but it's still your girlfriend?
No.
I just felt I had to do it for the movie.
It's for the movie?
You're not gonna stop even after...
No.
I'm not gonna give up.
Look, I'm worried that you are gonna cross a line,
you can't...
I don't need you to be worried about me.
Frankly, I'm bewildered that you don't think
that I could come up with a flawless M.O.
That I couldn't figure out some tasteless, odorless,
food additive, that evaporates immediately
in the victim's bowels,
leaving no trace for a pathologist
to follow up on.
Pretty much anybody could do that.
Why couldn't I?
You've really thought this through.
Of course I've thought it through.
I'm a murderer, not some frenzied spree killer,
you dumb cunt.
Jes... Jesus.
I'll get a napkin.
I'm so sorry.
I... I don't know where I put...
But you know me, right?
I-I come here every day.
Seriously?
Um, excuse you.
Sorry.
What if I came, um, paid late...
What is going on with you?
Nothing. What's going on with you?
Uh, well, my girlfriend just called me a cunt
and then she came back ten seconds later
acting like she's found 100 dollars on the ground.
You're kinda being an asshole, to be honest.
Look, if there's a right way to act
24 hours after seeing your friend die horribly
in front of you, I don't know it, okay?
I'm sorry. I...
What I'm trying to say is,
I feel... different.
That makes sense.
I wanna be here for you, okay?
Gillian.
See you later.
I love you.
The most humiliating thing happened.
I was at the coffee shop and I went to reach for my wallet
and I couldn't find my license or my credit cards
and I have no cash.
So I wasn't able to pay for my fricking coffee.
Yeah, and she didn't even give it to me.
And I go there every fucking day.
She doesn't recognize me? It's like, "Hello, it's me."
And she looked at me like I'm fucking homeless person.
I mean, you know how I dress.
I do not dress like a fucking homeless person.
I know, and I need my coffee.
I-I don't know what is happening,
but I feel like some, like, malevolent force
is, like, channeling into me,
and I'm really afraid it's gonna turn
into, like, a tumor or something.
So...
I'm just waiting for her to come home.
I feel like with Chase, I broke the seal.
I'm feeling really excited to get out there
and show the world what I can do.
I've thought a lot about what I want to include...
...in my suicide note.
This is my last message to the world...
My last chance to pass on everything I have to say
that's worth leaving behind.
That's why I'll be sharing with my soon to be bereaved BFFs,
a recipe for lemon water too good to take to the grave,
a list of famous people I've had sex with,
as well as a list of people I do not forgive.
I do NOT forgive anybody I followed...
...who didn't follow me back.
Trevor, I do NOT forgive you for making it weird.
Danny, you chode...
I know this will come as a terrible shock to you all.
I seemed so happy and perfect.
But inside of me was a putrefying abscess
that was only getting bigger.
I was rotting from the inside out,
a gorgeous shell around a solid core of pus.
The guilt of holding up
an unattainable image of perfection
to other women has finally become insupportable.
I need to annihilate myself to illuminate the truth
to those who look up to me.
I am nothing.
I was never happy.
Love your flawed selves.
And when you feel like you're not good enough,
remember me
and the pathetic life that was mine
until its shameful, shallow end.
Hey, babe!
- Hey. - Guess what?
- What? - We're having salmon.
Oh.
Put your stuff down, um,
have something cold to drink.
Thanks.
Why are you not eating?
Oh, my God.
Is this because of what I said about my M.O.?
Keith, I can't believe you think I'd ever want to hurt you.
That's crazy.
If there was something wrong,
I would just tell you.
I did all this because I finally did something,
you know, accomplished something today.
And I wanted to celebrate with you.
That's... that's good, babe.
That's a little underwhelming.
You're acting like you don't believe me.
I-I don't know, it's just, you know,
a lot's been going on lately and...
I don't really know what we're talking about right now.
What we're talking about is,
you don't think I can do anything.
You don't think I'll ever make a movie.
You don't think I could kill somebody.
You don't believe I can do anything.
And it really hurts
because I believe in you.
I believe you can do your elevated sci-fi,
David Lynch, graphic novel.
I really do.
Why can't you believe in me?
What the fuck?
So I really want to say something to you
and I don't want you to think I'm being critical.
'Cause that's not why I'm saying this.
I'm saying this because I'm worried and I do care for you.
- Okay. - There's no movie
that is worth hurting someone for,
either yourself or another person, right?
I don't agree.
If it's a very bad person for a very good movie.
Logically, there are just real benefits
to killing a bad person.
If you get a good movie out of it,
that's an additional advantage, hypothetically.
All right, let's not talk hypothetically.
Let's speak for real.
I don't know what you've done,
but you have definitely changed.
And you don't wanna be with me anymore.
Gillian, you are destroying yourself.
There's nothing that's worth that.
If I want to destroy myself
so I can make something I'm proud of,
so I won't be a failure anymore, that's okay with me.
But I can't do it without your support.
I don't wanna do it without you.
No, no, I can't do this anymore.
It's just... it's too stressful.
Oh, is my fucked-up life stressing you out?
I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna go stay with a friend.
I'll figure out a time to come back
and get rest of my stuff and pick up Pepper.
You do not come back and pick up Pepper.
You take Pepper, I will fucking rip your guts out.
Get out!
Hi.
Would you like to have sex with me?
I'll buy you a sandwich.
That shirt looks nice on you.
I'm glad it fit.
Thank you.
You like the shower?
And you like the snacks?
Good. Do you mind if I film you?
I, um...
I-I'd rather you didn't.
Oh.
Okay.
I'll just get out of your hair.
Oh. Oh.
I'm sorry.
I'm just working on a low budget.
- Oh. Oh, no, no, no. - The two kinda go together.
It's... it's okay. It's okay. It's fine.
I can... you can film me.
Yeah?
- Yeah. - You sure?
Mm-hmm.
Good. Thank you.
And striking.
Whoa! Sorry.
Have you ever been on a film set before?
- No. - No?
I kind of, like, guessed that you might've been,
like, a child star or something.
You've heard that before.
I would never call you a homeless person.
That just seems really condescending to me.
You know?
Like, I don't know what your family situation is.
Like, there could be a good reason that you're out here.
Oh, you're blocking my beat cam.
Can you get on the other side?
Just get over.
Okay. Cool.
Well, I think you're a natural.
You can put this on your reel. No problem.
So, Phil, what was the last job you had?
I worked at a Boston Market.
Gross.
I didn't eat the food there.
What do you do?
It's hard to explain.
Uh...
As I'm sure you've noticed,
our economy's at a major transitional moment.
So even though I have a Master's degree,
I can't find any full-time work that I'm qualified for.
I just keep having to put temporary gigs together.
I'm actually living pretty hand to mouth.
So do you have any family?
Some, but...
But nobody knows where you are right now?
So were you serious
about wanting to... have sex?
The thing is,
I do wanna have sex.
I just feel very...
You know, right now.
Like, I feel very insecure,
and I worry that, like, I couldn't get out of my head,
and I just, uh... I just wouldn't be any good.
Oh.
But I think you could talk me into it.
Um, you looked really cute
when I first saw you.
Yeah?
And when you bought me food,
that was... cute.
Try to be more specific.
I think your nose is... crooked.
Not a compliment.
Don't worry, I'll get into it.
Wow.
That was actually pretty good.
Which is why this next part is gonna be so much harder.
Do you think it's been 26 to 32 minutes
since you drank that soda?
To my estranged family,
tonight I met an angel.
Things have been hard lately.
I didn't think it could get any more depressing
than working at Boston Market,
but life on the streets
has been even more uncomfortable and disgusting.
I wondered how I got here.
I didn't see a way out until tonight
when I met this unconventionally attractive,
witty force of nature.
I learned it's okay to let go of this world
where all I know is degradation.
I know,
I'm really jeopardizing my likability.
What was my motivation to kill Phil?
He wasn't a bad person,
but if you look at the Golden State Killer,
you see that all the best serial killers are unpredictable.
They look at the criminal profile they're forming
and they strike outside of it.
Golden State Killer actually went to a town meeting
that was held to figure out how to stop him.
And he heard this guy in the audience say,
"He only rapes our wives when they're alone.
"You know, if we just stayed at home with them,
he'd be too much of a coward to come at us."
So next time, the Golden State Killer struck,
he targeted that guy.
He broke into his house, tied him up,
raped his wife in front of him,
just to send a message.
You're not gonna stop me.
You can't anticipate me.
You can't predict me.
I'm smarter than you.
It's pretty clever, right?
So while I would love to only kill people that deserve it,
I could unwittingly reveal too much about myself
psychologically by my choice of targets.
And that's why I have to mix in the classic victims;
the disenfranchised, the transient.
Believe me, it's not what I want to do.
But I've already committed so much to this.
I really want to do it right.
I mean, just to be honest with you,
it's hard not to get your feelings hurt sometimes.
And this is like, what do you do? What do you do?
I mean, it's... I mean what is it that you do?
Oh, actually, I'm an architect...
Yeah, you know, I think it's just weird
working in an industry where everybody you meet
has an opinion about it.
And, like, look, you know, I went to liberal arts school.
I studied sociology.
I have student loans.
First Choice Health Choice is where I could get a job.
But everybody you meet is like,
"Oh, you work for a health insurance provider
you're the devil."
I mean, that doesn't happen to people
that work in other fields.
I mean, nobody's like, "Oh, you work for
the airline industry and airplanes crash, you're bad."
Well, maybe they're just going based off
their own experiences.
'Cause I've never been on a plane that's crashed,
but I do have insurance right now that's...
Yeah, no, no.
See, it's the rising cost of care.
There's a lot that people don't understand.
I mean, all these people wanna get covered for everything
and you can't run a business like that, okay?
First Choice Health Choice is a business.
It has to make a profit or...
or I don't have a job, okay?
It sounds bad, but I think sick people are stupid.
He has to die.
I mean, do you know anyone that's sick?
First dates are tough.
That obvious?
People are so judgmental.
It's hard to be open.
Yeah, that's very true.
Do you wanna go on a date with me?
Uh, you don't have to buy me coffee.
I feel like I should mention that I had unprotected sex
with a homeless person last night.
Jesus.
I wanted to get tested
but I don't have health insurance.
What is wrong with you?
You can tested for free at all the gay places.
I was just kidding. We used a condom.
I'm not crazy.
I feel sick.
You know, actually, I was denied health insurance
because I have a preexisting condition.
It's just a moderate anxiety disorder.
Nothing that a few dollars a month of antidepressants
can't handle.
But I've been feeling really stressed lately.
My boyfriend and I broke up,
my friend died.
I don't feel so good.
Just shut up and call 911,
I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
Ambulances are so expensive.
Why don't I just kill you instead?
So why are you telling me all this?
Won't it make me a loose end?
Not for long and I need the validation.
I'm just such a people-pleaser, you know?
And... I'm so good at murdering.
It just sucks that I can't get the credit for it,
but that's the nature of murdering.
It's not always easy.
Let me tell you.
No, I can't.
I'm actually straight edge.
Sorry, I know it's boring.
It's got to look like a suicide!
Who would have thought this twat would have a gun?
I wanted everyone to think I was a really great person
because I didn't drink.
I didn't know that Donald Trump doesn't drink.
And when I realized what a fucking dumbass
I had been acting like, I fucking killed myself.
Ow, ow!
Sweetheart, that kinda hurts a little bit, actually.
Somebody went to Girl Scout camp.
I knew girls your age still wanted to fuck me.
Modern life is so empty.
The millennials have ruined everything.
Mr. unhoused guy?
Come here.
You can have snacks now,
but I'm gonna tell you how to dispose of a body.
And you got to listen.
The complete disappearance
of the erotic thriller as a genre
gives me nothing to live for.
A series of murders
has left authorities baffled
Despite the presence of suicide notes,
LAPD detectives are certain that the rash of deaths
is the work of a serial killer.
The handwriting's the same,
the poison in the stomach's the same.
It's all just one guy.
But the friends and family of the victims
don't believe it.
I mean, I read that note that she wrote
about feeling really guilty about being pretty.
Uh, only Teresa could have written that note.
Fred hated millennials.
They just finally made him take his own life.
I hope they're happy.
The criminal profilers are certain that
it's the work of one person.
Most likely a white male
in his late twenties to early thirties,
with a great deal of criminal experience under his belt.
He's very clever, Janeane.
Only a very sick man could do this.
A sick man? Bullshit.
I need you to get something out of my car.
It's a big, dumb piece of shit wrapped in plastic.
Missed call?
Hey, Gillian,
just, uh, checking in where you are
with those pitch decks.
Would, uh, love to get those from you.
End of today.
All right.
I bet you would, ass clowns.
I'm never gonna see Chase again.
That's very hard with the date being so close.
- I fuckin' knew it. - Yeah, I can't imagine.
I mean, we planned our perfect wedding together.
My vow, I was... he loved my Michael Caine impression.
I was gonna surprise him.
It's so silly.
Do you want to hear it?
Mm-hmm.
Hey!
Wow.
So great to see you both.
How have you been, Keith?
Stalin.
That's what you like to call me
behind my back, right?
Oh, I'll call you that to your face.
Look at you, getting back out there.
You are so brave.
Just so you know,
Keith has one of those big editing monitors.
So I don't know if you'll be able to throw it out a window.
He might not be boyfriend material.
You totally got it wrong.
We're just having coffee.
Look at me, I'm in mourning.
Does this look like a first date outfit to you?
I don't know.
Maybe it's not a first date.
Gillian, look, please just leave.
Can I just say something?
Can I just say...
it should've been you?
Hey, hey, hey.
No. No, it's okay.
You really want to talk about this?
Let's talk about this, because I ask myself every day,
how he ended up with that sesame seed bagel
in the first place.
We all saw the police report.
He had epinephrine in his system when he died.
Gillian gave him the shot.
Yeah, I know.
But he was just very sensitive about his food allergies.
Well, maybe he just woke up that morning
and decided he'd rather choke on a bagel
than get married to your crazy ass.
Gillian, that's too much.
How can you even say that to someone?
He was my Prince Charming and now he's gone.
I'm coming back for the rest of my stuff.
Don't bother. I gave it to the homeless.
I know you're lying, Gillian.
Hold on. Hold on.
I need you to tell me...
what was the last thing that he said?
Was there... did he say anything about me?
Okay. Um...
Let's put aside all of our stuff.
I know this was bigger than that
and you deserve to know the truth.
But I have something to ask you that's important to me.
Because I want to know the truth, okay?
You've always hated me, haven't you?
Yes.
Just before he went...
The last thing that he said...
It was...
I'll see you in hell, Stalin!
I feel like I've taken this crime spree as far as it can go.
I think I got a bit angry.
I was feeling helpless, got distracted.
Killing all these people is starting to feel like work.
It's not fun anymore.
I'm not feeling the creative fulfillment I had
when I got started.
Don't do that. It tickles.
I know what you're thinking.
Why did I start murdering in the first place?
Because I'm good at it.
And people are garbage.
But it's taking up too much of my time now.
And I've got other goals.
Why don't I just do one final one
and really make it count?
Oh, my God.
I'm not talking to that crazy bitch.
Why can't I move?
You fucking bitch.
You'll never get away with this.
Oh, but I totally will.
Your suicide note practically writes itself.
Shaken by your fiancé's untimely demise,
you've realized the unfairness of your survival.
He was the good person who should have lived.
You are the bad person who should have died.
And now to redeem yourself,
you are donating your good organs
from your evil body to nice people
so that they can live.
Now, I will take your heart,
which is in perfect condition
because you never used it.
Hello, my name is Stalin.
Please send an ambulance to 2111 Silver Lake Boulevard
to pick up my organs.
You will find my body in the bathroom.
With a note.
I'm sorry for being such a bloody cunt!
That was, uh...
That was crazy.
I'm not sure what I just watched.
Yeah, I mean, good for you, though,
for getting out there and you know, doing your...
you know, this is cool.
I mean, that's cool.
Uh, I'm not... I'm not sure I bought it.
Yeah.
You know, um,
it's a very interesting idea.
Yeah, something there.
Yeah, I just... I sort of wish there was
that strong female lead, someone centered.
Yeah, yeah, someone likable.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
You didn't think I was likable
e-even when I had my shirt off?
Actually, those parts were okay.
I mean, I think I-I wanted, like, a real actor.
But it was real.
Like, ev... it was all real.
Remember, you guys told me that
you wanted me to take more risks, and like be bold.
Yeah, I mean, we definitely support you guys as artists.
We could never do what you guys do, you know?
Yeah look, let me level with you, okay?
I really respect you.
So I just want to tell you what I really think.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, I just...
didn't buy it.
It was just... I couldn't suspend my disbelief, at all.
Yeah, it was pretty unbelievable.
I kinda don't know what to say.
Clearly, you just watched something
that was authentic in more ways than one.
I opened up a vein
and the veins of other people
and I put it on screen.
Obviously, it was a very personal project to you.
I mean, actually, I felt kind of embarrassed
for you watching it.
I just mean, like, all of our ideas
were about these important women's issues.
You know, like we talked about like intersectionality,
strong female, all that stuff.
And I feel like, um, I guess, like, this feels like
a step back for women,
to be honest.
Okay. Thanks for telling me.
Um, did you do those decks?
- Can we see those, actually? - Yeah.
The decks.
What are you doing?
- You didn't do the decks? - No.
Okay, that's pretty disappointing.
All right, look,
the only reason we met with you
is 'cause Diane told us you were this amazing person.
We love Diane. Diane's fucking awesome.
So we were like, "Yeah, okay we'll meet with her."
Okay.
Okay, I just mean, like,
look, with all due respect,
like I just don't know if this is the right field for you.
Like, we want a director who can play ball
and I feel like I would give you a ball
and you would, like, call it a giraffe
and then, like, set the giraffe on fire.
You know what I'm saying? Like...
I'm sorry. I don't know.
It's just we gave you all of these ideas
and then you go off and you make weird,
"Frances Ha," you know.
it was just, like, not useful at all.
Uh, can you ask Brianne to call that Uber?
Look, um, you know, I'm really so...
You know, we... we gave you
this opportunity and just didn't work.
- I understand. - Okay, cool.
Um, and don't worry about the decks.
- It's totally cool. - Okay.
You know, um, people say right now
that, like, women you shouldn't apologize so much, you know?
And I just wanna say, I'm sorry.
- Hey, we're all learning. - Right?
You know, we're doing our best.
- I'm sorry. - It's all right.
I'm sorry!
I didn't do it exactly how you wanted me to.
I'm sorry it didn't fit your expectations.
But I didn't do it for you! I did it for me!
Oh, my God.
Briann...
Is this better, producer number two?
Is it looking more real? Any notes?
Please, please, don't do this.
All right, I love your film.
Oh.
Don't get mad, you know.
Just give me a minute.
I have some photos on my phone I have to delete, okay?
Dumb fucks like you don't get two minutes.
If you knew what I was, you wouldn't even ask me that.
What are you?
I'm a strong female lead.
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull