Tell me a little bit about what brings you in today.
-We lost a son in 2008. -Mm.
[Kim] It's almost too overwhelming to think about.
So I -- I really haven't wanted to look directly at that.
My daughter's bringing it up again.
Right now, they need their mom.
I know you said that you wanted us to all
talk about Joshua.
I'm ready to do that now.
[Lydia on the phone] OK.
[Ethan] Do you know what Zac told me?
He referred to
your daughter as baggage.
And he said that, like, your sexuality or whatever is
something that I should not be OK with.
There's things that the rest of my family wants to talk about
with Lydia and Zac.
If these things aren't addressed,
everyone's gonna kind of push it away and avoid it.
[Kim] I was very hurt that you talked about Joshua.
I really didn't like how it was brought up.
I kind of wanna clear the air with you, Zac.
All the critiques that you give to
the younger kids, it's an overstep.
[Zac] So, I'm a problem for the whole family?
Gotcha, cool.
OK, I'll just...shut up.
I'll -- I'll be never around.
[tense music plays]
[Kim] Is there anything else that anybody wants to share,
or concerns, or thoughts?
[Ethan] I don't know if anyone else wants to say it, but...
I kind of wanna clear the air with you, Zac.
Today, my mom wanted to put together
a surprise anniversary party for Lydia and Zac
and talk about Joshua, celebrate him as well.
And before I do that, clear the air on some things
between us and Lydia and Zac.
I don't wanna be mad at you
or hold anything against you.
Mm-hmm.
If you see us doing things that you think are wrong,
if it's about what card games you play or what shows
the girls watch or whatever, unless we come to you and ask,
I would appreciate it
if you kept those opinions to yourself.
[Kim] The bottom line is we're all family.
-[Zac] Mm-hmm. -And we're a large number
of adults, but we're family.
So we need to give each other the latitude to live
a little bit different life or to have different viewpoints
and accept each other and love each other
where we're at. -Mm.
And the goal with all this is not to pick on anybody,
but just to come closer together, you know?
Zac is pulling us aside, meaning my family members,
spe -- specifically the girls, and telling them what he thinks
they're doing wrong.
Lydia and I went out to Montana to hang out with Moriah,
but there was just, like, consistent things that
I feel like everyone knew that we wouldn't participate in,
like some 18-plus games.
[Isaac] I mean, it was nothing really that bad.
I mean, some of the games were, you know,
some of the dirtier games, but, you know, that's optional
for you to play. You don't have to play.
And we still had a great time. We did a lot outside of that.
But my biggest concern was actually, you know,
Amber's stepping into being a new believer,
choosing to get baptized.
So I just feel like it's important that she doesn't...
engage in this stuff.
I remember talking that through in Montana
and figuring that out and apologizing
for overstepping in -- in ways, but we got through that,
and we came to resolution
and comfort with each other again.
-Like they literally, I -- -[Isaac] Whoa.
That's not what I heard coming from them.
What I did was just, I talked to Moriah.
I was like, "Hey..."
Just be aware of the example you're setting.
And...
Yeah, "Just be aware of -- of the example you're setting
because Amber really looks up to you."
[Moriah] Zac and I already worked through it,
but I just told him, like,
"Work on building relationships with everybody
"so that they know that you're a safe person to go to
"when they want advice and they're looking for advice,
"more so than just, like, you know, picking everything
apart and telling them what you think they should fix."
I mean, I've kind of learned not to care less
if someone's judging me because I'm just like,
"OK, I'll judge you too, fine."
When I left Montana, Kaylynn and Amber told me
they were very uncomfortable in the car drive the whole way.
They felt like they were trapped 'cause you were there in the car
and they couldn't do anything, so I don't know.
-Well then -- -So it's hard to put
that together with what you said, but...
I didn't know that I made Amber and Kaylynn uncomfortable.
I heard Kaylynn and Amber were uncomfortable, you know,
being pulled aside.
I think Moriah felt the same way.
They were invited to her house, and it's really not their place
to pick apart what they think is and is not OK.
Just trying to clear the air
and, you know, communicate about it.
We are all family, so we're gonna talk about each other.
-Because -- -Yeah, but they didn't ask for your opinion,
and they literally felt uncomfortable.
[Zac] But that -- that conversation was to resolve it
and to figure it out.
And there was apologies had, and there was resolution.
-And you guys -- you guys are focusing... -[overlapping dialogue]
...on the discomfort of it.
I mean, they wanted to just call me
and have me on the phone 'cause they didn't wanna...
That's just what I'm hearing from them.
[Ethan] I'm not trying to get on you,
but I'm just saying I'm -- it has frustrated me.
And I wanna try to build a relationship with you.
And you're a part of the family now.
I can't
build a relationship with you or hang out
or talk to you when that's inside.
Again, like talking to each other,
expressing stuff, getting off, communicating.
That's what I feel I'm trying to do right now
in the best way that I can.
I'm not always very good at that.
Why I -- I felt I needed to speak up was because
you guys, knowing Lydia and I and our lifestyle,
we wouldn't participate in a lot of those things normally.
And so it's like,
for us to even hang out with you,
we have to do all these things that we really don't wanna do.
Well, is that on the host or the guest?
Well, like, if you guys don't drink alcohol,
and I've got alcohol here, you don't have to drink it.
-[Zac] I understand that. -OK.
But if everything that is happening
is something we don't wanna do,
then it just feels like we're not welcome.
But that's not true.
You are welcome,
and we're trying to be welcoming.
It -- I --
In seeing the way they walk through their lives,
it seems like they wanna go in the direction
of choosing good or God.
And so when they don't, they're making decisions
that maybe aren't so good for their lives.
Well, let me get my point, please, um...
So when they maybe aren't, you know,
playing games or -- or watching shows that are good for you
and, like, make Lydia and I cringe,
I wanna talk about it.
If I'm playing a game, and my wife can't
talk about the cards that she's dealt
because of her moralistic idea of what the words say,
you know, I'm sure I'll say --
"Why do you wanna play that game?"
-Yeah, it's like -- -It's like,
"Can we choose another game to play that's more..."
[Isaac] Like, there was that, we --
That happened for a little bit. I didn't enjoy it personally,
but we played countless other games that night... -I don't know if anyone did.
...and there were other things we were doing.
the majority of the time. -[Zac] Yeah, and I felt welcomed then.
And I'm not, again, I'm not generalizing the whole time,
by any means. -Yeah.
I think it's just,
there's specific things that we disagreed with.
I personally don't think a 16-year-old should be
participating in some of these things.
Potentially, Zac may be, like, exerting himself,
his opinion, in a jurisdiction that he really shouldn't
be concerned about.
I'm at the point where I trust Amber pretty good.
If she's gonna make mistakes, then let her make them
and then -- then we can talk about it.
Hey, if someone asks, then give your opinion.
If someone's not asking for your opinion,
maybe in this gray area, just
you don't need to say anything.
I do appreciate that they care about Amber and they care about
the things she's exposed to and how she's raised.
I definitely would rather that than them not care at all.
Barry and I have changed. We've let up on a lot of things.
But ultimately, they're my kids.
They're Barry's kids.
We're the ones that need to decide things on raising them.
I've had, you know, some people say we're too strict.
Other people say we're not strict enough.
I feel like you can't win.
And if Zac really feels like something
that they're doing is bad, he needs to talk to me about it,
not the girls.
Zac apologized, and he hasn't done
anything like that since then.
And if people don't want our opinions,
we won't give our opinions.
And, Ethan, I don't know if you were aware of, like,
just the situation.
Like, Zac was hearing so many things
about Teegan from everyone
that he just wanted to hear it from you.
I appreciate you looking out for me, but, you know,
I wasn't looking for your opinion.
I wasn't giving it.
I was really just trying to understand,
because I heard so many things, like, concerns
and ups and downs, and I just was like,
"Well, what is it then?"
Zac helped me work on my New Yorker.
Zac pulled me aside afterwards and he was like,
"You know, I know you feel like you need to go to Wisconsin,
"but there's some things that I see with Teegan that I think
you should be concerned about."
And there's a couple of things.
One of them was that she has a child,
and Teegan's little daughter
is the best thing that has ever happened to Teegan.
That's her whole world.
Even if it was coming from a good place,
it was completely disrespectful to Teegan.
It was extremely judgmental.
I just feel like time and time again,
Zac's always misunderstood and misrepresented,
and that just hurts me.
And he hasn't gone about everything in the perfect way
every time, but his heart's always been perfect.
[dramatic music builds]
I'm still trying to be a brother.
Trying.
[voice breaking] And I never was a brother to other brothers, and I just...
I don't know, I --
Am I supposed to just wrestle them?
And just -- I don't know. I don't know what to do.
[Zac] It feels like we're pulling an arm and a leg
to get you guys to just come over and hang out.
The door is always open.
[Teegan] Zac makes it seem like they're excluded,
but I know they're not.
But then at the same time, if they're included,
they need to be catered to 100%.
I'm not gonna change my entire lifestyle
to be in their life, and they're not gonna change
their entire lifestyle to be in mine.
You're exporting your opinion into lands
that don't wanna import? -Yep.
So, um...
Is this a bad conversation?
I'm going into this knowing that it has potential to be
a very painful conversation.
[dramatic music plays]
I think part of the reason why we've gone about
doing some of this in the way we have is because
we're always doing stuff with you guys
and doing what you guys want,
and Barry and the girls are great at coming to Tallahassee
and stopping by, but I don't...
Like, it feels like we're pulling an arm and a leg
to get you guys to just come over and hang out sometimes.
I'm not holding anything against you guys.
I just, you know, since we're right here, you know...
-[Kim] Yeah. -...45 minutes away, I think.
It'd be cool to just see that.
[Isaac] Nobody's intentionally trying to avoid them.
If anything, it's just we get really busy.
I have a hard time finding myself, you know,
with a bunch of extra free time.
But when I do, I have gone down there.
Well, I think I've --
-Obviously, I think we both want to build relationship, -[Kim] Yeah.
and so I'm just trying to see what we can do about that.
The door is always open.
I think I've come every time I've been invited.
A year ago today was
one of the hardest days of my life, so...
I'm just kind of in a cloud right now.
-That's that. -Yeah.
[Kim] Lydia has said that, you know,
we haven't seen them very much.
We haven't made an effort, but I mean,
we've had them out here to the farm.
Lydia and I met for coffee.
I've been to their place.
I went and got a cheesecake for Zac for his birthday
'cause I know that he likes cheesecake.
Zac makes it seem like they're excluded, which I mean,
I haven't been around the family a lot,
but I know they're not.
But then at the same time, that if they're included,
they need to be catered to 100%.
So I don't know, That's a tricky line to walk.
[Ethan] Well, basically, my boundary
for myself moving forward, unless I come to you and say,
"What are your thoughts on me moving to Wisconsin?"
Or, "What are your thoughts on me playing this game?"
I would appreciate it if you kept your opinions
to yourself and don't tell me it's right or wrong or whatever.
Don't tell the girls it's right or wrong.
And if you feel convicted of something, then,
you know, don't participate.
If you think that
you could respect that, I would appreciate it
for myself and my siblings.
Yeah, I mean, I understand, and I will respect your wishes.
That I need to shut up.
Duly noted.
I'm not perfect.
I know I very well could have judged them wrongly.
I just wish my heart was understood,
that I care and love as much as I can.
We just don't know how to include ourselves.
And...yeah.
What are some things you'd like to do with us?
I don't know, maybe more random bonfires
or random stuff around the farm.
You know, if you want a -- want help building
a four wheeler trail, we'll come do it, you know.
Uh-huh -- sometime when the cabin isn't booked,
you guys come up, we can spend the day fishing.
-I think -- -For snakes.
[Cassia] Fishing for snakes.
I think we could cook what we fish, what we catch.
If y'all catch the fish, I will cook all the fish.
-Yes. -I'll fillet 'em, I'll cook 'em.
I was gonna, like, start a fire and just stick a stick in there and...
Well, you can do yours that way.
[all laugh]
[Kim] I feel like this has been really productive.
I feel like it's been good.
Everybody kind of got a chance to,
you know, voice what was bothering them,
and now it's done and cleared and off the table
and we can...
-Move forward, -...move forward, yeah.
It really leaves us confused
because it goes right back to
us being the outsiders looking in.
It felt like we were being talked to.
How do you move forward?
I guess we'll have lunch and just kinda hang out
for a little bit, and then this afternoon
we're gonna set up, um,
a little area and talk about Joshua.
So you can be thinking about that.
Yep.
Come on.
[background chatter]
[Lydia and Zac speaking]
I mean, just from the beginning,
you could tell our lifestyles were different enough
that we probably just wouldn't mesh well, and so...
I'm not gonna change my entire lifestyle
to be in their life and they're not gonna change
their entire lifestyle to be in mine,
and that's just what's happening.
[Lydia] You can't just sit here and say,
"Oh, everything's good, everything's OK," when it's not,
and I -- I can see it in Zac.
He got shot down from the beginning.
And for him to
want to care and try to show that care in the best way
he knows how and for it to be taken as disrespectful is...
I really don't have the words.
[tense music plays]
-They're hungry. -[Zac] Yeah.
-They're always hungry. -[Zac] Oh, chickens --
I'm not surprised. -[Barry] Chickens are always looking for stuff.
[chickens clucking]
[Zac] Got some eggs in there.
[Barry] Yeah. There's some eggs in there.
After the conversation, I talked to Barry
'cause I know I could talk to him.
I'm glad they -- they brought it up,
because I didn't know it was still bothering some people.
And I didn't know the extent of how people felt about it, so.
I had no idea -- I was coming in cold on that one.
Yeah.
I was not familiar with everything
that went on in Montana. -Right -- yeah.
I've definitely learned a lot today of just how I can
sometimes overstep and how sometimes I'm --
I'm too talkative or whatever, so.
Yes, you're exporting your opinion into lands
that don't wanna import. -Yep.
-[Barry chuckles] -Yep.
Jurisdictional boundaries, right?
[Zac] Yeah.
You got to know the jurisdictional boundaries.
Who's more offendable and who's less offendable.
-[Zac] Yeah. -You gotta take that into consideration.
Yeah.
Um...
I mean, I agree.
-So Ethan's growing, right? -Yeah.
Taller.
I feel bad for Lydia, like...
-[Teegan] Yeah. -But...
I do too.
I think
it was better to at least say it than just
keep it to ourselves.
Yeah, you took accountability, you know,
so I can appreciate that. -Mm-hmm -- mm-hmm.
[Ethan] I would like to think that
I've grown.
I hope that I have.
Definitely being more empathetic and understanding of
how I make someone else feel.
I probably...
shouldn't have started a serious relationship
after getting out with everything with my ex-wife.
But I'm still learning.
I'll keep working on it.
It's great to hear that you're wanting to talk
about Joshua more. -Yeah.
I know Lydia's excited for it.
I'm aware that Zac likes to have really deep conversations,
but I don't know that "excited" is the word I would pick.
I don't understand Kim and how she just operates.
[dramatic tones play]
[Zac speaking]
-[Kim] Yeah. -I'll probably hang out with,
I guess only Teegan.
I don't know anyone else here that --
yeah, I'll hang out with Teegan. -Yeah.
-Ken will be around, you know. -[Zac] OK.
-[Kim] Oh, thank you. -We got the mail.
I think we haven't checked the last few days.
We've been -- we've been busy.
Well, it's good to have the whole family in town,
and thanks for -- thanks for having us, too.
I think it's great to hear that you're wanting to talk
about Joshua more. -Yeah.
-[Zac] That's awesome. -Yeah.
And I know Lydia's excited for it, so...
[Kim] Mm-hmm.
-I'm excited for it too, just to see... -[Kim] Yeah.
...the whole family talking about it... -[Kim] Yeah.
and coming together to do it too -- it's really cool.
Yeah.
I'm aware that Zac likes to have really deep conversations,
but I don't know that "excited" is the word I would pick.
She's really excited to just be able to share this
with her family who experienced it with her.
-So that's awesome. -Yeah, yep -- yeah.
It's great.
I've given up trying to fix things and making
every relationship work and every relationship perfect.
And with, like, with my mom and Zac,
whether they choose to spend time together
and grow or not...
time.
Um...grief is definitely more complicated,
I feel like, at times, so. -Yeah.
I don't understand Kim
in how she just operates, and, you know.
She's got her life, and I'm trying to understand
a lot of the decisions she's making,
but it just doesn't click for me.
I think when a parent loses a child,
there's never gonna be a time that...
-You're refilled again. -...you know -- yeah, like, you're good.
-There's always gonna be that void. -[Kim] Yeah.
-Yeah. -Like, I will always be a parent that lost a child.
There's -- and there's no amount of thinking, talking, writing,
what -- praying, anything that could change that. -Absolutely.
-Like, that's, you know. -Yeah.
[Kim] I know where Zac is coming from,
and he means well.
I guess I need to find out what it is that he needs from me
in order to feel accepted,
loved, and accepted, and I -- I wanna fix that.
It's kind of like I lost so much of my life to that.
-[Zac] Mm. -You know, like most of the first year.
Right.
-I'm... -You don't wanna be in that place again.
-[Kim] Yeah, yeah. -And so, yeah.
But I'll also be wherever
they need me to be for them. -[Zac] Yeah.
You know, if they need me to go back there for a while,
I'll, you know, I'll do that, so. -Sure -- that's good.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Lydia, over the last few years,
just worked really hard to
really just be seen in the family.
And I don't feel like Kim really
tried to see her or
tried to even...
Mm, see, I don't wanna talk about this,
'cause I don't...
I can defend my wife, but in all honesty,
I don't know what they've been through.
Period.
[producer and Ken speaking]
[background chatter]
[clears throat]
-Is this a bad conversation? -[Kim] No.
So, um...
Stop licking. Stop licking.
[Kim] We all lived through Joshua.
Amber lived through it in the womb,
and you two never got to meet him,
but obviously you've heard about him.
I'm here, and I'm ready for whatever the children
wanna talk about.
If they want a play-by-play,
if they wanna talk about grieving or not grieving,
if Lydia wants to take it
into what she experienced that day
and what we all experienced that day,
um, kind of mourning that all over again,
I'm willing to do that.
I wanna be here for my kids.
I wanna be here for whatever they need.
I'm going into this knowing that it has potential to be
a very painful conversation,
and I'm ready for whatever that is.
I just kind of wanted to have time for everybody to talk
and share, like, how you're doing with it,
like, if you're healing or not healing or...
[Lydia] I just wanna acknowledge him more.
-[Kim] Yeah. -[Lydia] Like, we always say,
"There's nine children, three brothers."
Like, but there's ten, and there's four brothers,
and, you know, just finding little ways like that
to honor him.
-Yeah. -Mm-hmm.
Well, you know, it's a good thing to talk about
the grieving process and stuff, but you can get stuck there too
if you focus on it too much.
But I have been working to remember him, not the tragedy.
And I don't want him to just be remembered from...
the day that he passed instead of the life that he lived.
Yeah.
This is all I needed,
just to --
to bring him up in conversation.
Like the fact that we are gathering for the purpose
of Joshua is it right there.
Well, I have something for the three
that never got to meet Joshua.
[gentle music plays]
-[laughing] -Aw.
He loved duckies, but he didn't call them duckies.
He called them "guckies."
-I want this one. -[Cassia speaks indistinctly]
-Isaac! -No, I'm giving it to Amber.
[indistinct]. -[laughing]
-[indistinct]. -[Barry] We would also go out to the gravesite,
right, and put ducks. -[Kim] Yeah.
Remember his -- his doggy book?
What did he call them? -"Goggies."
-[Lydia and Barry] "Goggies." -"Guckies" and "goggies."
He loved his dog book.
He loved his red rain boots.
There's like twice that I can remember...
[Kim] Yeah.
Yeah, you used to love leading him all around the farm by,
you know, by his hand.
[Lydia] Mm-hmm.
-You remember that little red car with the blue wheels? -Mm-hmm.
[Ethan] I remember I used to push him around in that all the time.
-Yeah. -I'd buckle him in, and he would just like,
I'd tell him to drive, but like a lot of times
it could just like, just like...
[chuckles] Just...
-How are you doing? -I'm doing great.
I mean, you know, the context is Joshua.
Yeah, Joshua's...
[laughing]
'Cause, I went to the gym Saturday.
No, everything that I went through with Joshua early on,
I had to stop asking why, right?
-Because it just was counterproductive... -[Kim] Yeah.
to the whole situation.
Just playing my role as best I could to support
what needed to be done.
I always like to think back on Joshua, right?
And remember the good that...
the good 17 months we had,
I mean, 'cause it was a real special thing.
There'll probably always be a scar from a trauma like this.
There's a little mark there
that proves that, yeah, it was a big loss.
Well, you asked us, but how -- how are you doing?
-[Kim] I'm doing good. -Yeah?
Yeah, like most of the first year, it was,
I mean, you guys know I could barely function.
Up until recently, I -- I really didn't think I was ready
to talk about it, but I went and saw Dr. Ty.
In talking to her, I realized how important it was
for you guys that I talk about him, you know?
I, yeah...
I cry sometimes just thinking about everything
you've been through and how strong you are
and still being able to raise all of us
and just pushing through it. So, thank you.
Yeah.
I don't really plan on talking to Zac.
I don't really care what Zac thinks at the end of the day.
[Zac] I had heard about what Teegan had done to Ethan.
We brought up these things that we thought were serious.
I don't think I can own that I was wrong.
[gentle music plays]
[Moriah] You're really strong, just from everything
you've been through and then going through that
and still being there for us in the ways that you could.
Yeah.
Lydia kind of brought this on, you know,
by talking about it publicly,
and that wasn't the right way to go about it,
but the end result has been beautiful.
It's a happy moment.
That's what I always wanted for Joshua, you know?
And it makes me happy that, um,
that we're all able to share that together.
You know, losing somebody, the one thing that it does,
the one good thing that does come out of it,
is it makes you appreciate the people in your life
that are still here.
And I want Lydia to know that she's loved and appreciated.
We have pretty great parents.
Affirmative.
[chuckling]
I feel like this definitely, you know,
just opens the door to
to just discuss Joshua more and bring him up
in -- in conversation and, yeah, honor him in that way.
And I'm just really, really proud of my mom
for -- for doing this.
It has been a little bit of a rough road getting here,
but we're here, and we're talking about Joshua.
So, we're gonna put Joshua's name on the bench.
I think everybody's doing good after the meeting, you know?
Everybody seems to, you know, be getting along,
and that's what I was hoping for.
Let me grab it from the bottom.
It's fine.
I know if Joshua can see us right now,
he's definitely proud.
I know it would put a smile on his face.
We're gonna put the bench out for him,
just a little remembrance thing.
[Kim] That's looking good.
Yeah, that is looking good.
[Kim] Maybe when Micah comes, he thickens the letters
and writes his name.
The unfortunate thing is Micah's not here.
He wasn't able to make it up for today's event.
He had to work.
The good thing is he'll be back up at some point
and carve his name on the bench.
[Mercy] That looks good.
My mom's all about little places to sit down outside
And just, you know, go over and it reminds you of them
instead of, like, you should go to his grave.
It's a little bit brighter, I think.
[Lydia] It's great. Look at that.
-[Kim and Isaac] Yeah. -Alright, Dad, you can do the rest.
-Middle one? -You get the middle one?
Yep, it's just right in the middle.
[Kim] Who's doing the U? Cassia do you wanna do the U?
[Barry] Oh, yeah.
Three or four days ago, if you had told me that I would
be standing here ready to have a hard conversation about
Joshua, I wouldn't have believed you.
In talking to Dr. Ty, I really understood that I need
to do this not for me, but for my kids.
♪ I'm ready now ♪
♪ I don't know, babe ♪
♪ It's just a new day ♪
♪ But I keep holding on ♪
[Kim] It's hard to talk about the hard stuff, but I want us
to all love each other and get along.
We might not like each other,
we might irritate each other, but ultimately,
we're in this for the long haul.
We'll keep working on it.
♪ We're almost home ♪
[Amber speaking]
[Lydia speaking]
[Kim] Yeah.
[Moriah speaking]
[Kim] Mm-hmm.
[Moriah speaking]
♪ Living that good life ♪
♪ Headed out on our own ♪
♪ Remember the good times ♪
♪ We're almost home ♪
[Teegan and Ken speaking]
So I'm sandwiched in between Ken and Zac.
And we're just sort of hanging out all together
while the family, you know, is outside honoring Joshua.
I don't really plan on talking to Zac.
Teegan and I have had a couple interactions before,
and they've all been great.
It does just, kind of, feel like
she doesn't entirely wanna be here.
[Teegan] You know, it's right before
their surprise celebration party,
so I'm not trying to dampen Zac's mood by any means.
You know, I'm here to celebrate him and Lydia.
I don't really care what Zac thinks at the end of the day.
From what I heard,
it seemed Teegan was terrible, and so I was trying
to understand why he doesn't think so.
We brought up these things that we thought were serious.
I don't think I can own that I was wrong.
But, of course, we were the ones to bring it up
because no one else would.
[thunder rumbling]
[happy, light music plays]
OK, we're doing a surprise anniversary party
for Lydia and Zac.
I had a nice party planned for out there,
um, but it's pouring down rain.
So I'm having to regroup, get everything --
I know where I want stuff. I need lots of hands to do stuff.
Given all the heavy stuff that we've covered today,
and it's been a lot, I just want something light
and fun to celebrate Zac and Lydia.
-I need you two to take Lydia and Zac upstairs... -[Mercy] Right.
...to the closet and distract them.
We'll tell you when to bring them down.
OK, go, go, go.
This is a way that I show love
by putting on an event for somebody.
-[Lydia speaking] -[Barry] Right.
-Lydia and Zac. -[Lydia] Yeah?
-I wanna practice. -[Barry] You're not --
Are we going to practice our little music?
[Barry speaking]
-Yeah. -[Lydia] Hubby, we need your voice
to somehow make something sound OK.
Mercy and I are attempting to distract Lydia and Zac
so they can quick set up the downstairs area
'cause it would be kind of obvious
if they're sitting on the couch so.
[violin and keyboard playing]
-[Kim] Do you wanna help? -What are we doing?
-We're decorating for an anniversary party for them. -OK.
It's amazing that no matter what the adversity
or trials are, you know, when the siblings get together,
they just have that chemistry, and now Zac's a part of it,
and so, you know, when all is said and done, those things
that were issues kind of get put aside,
and it's good to see them able to come together
and just have fun.
Hey, what you think, man?
[Kim] Ten minutes.
That on that table.
Ethan and Teegan, come here -- and Barry.
Everybody come here.
[Moriah laughing] Oh, goodness.
[Kim] How about we tell them to come down,
and when they come down, we sing Happy Anniversary to you?
-[Teegan] Yeah. -Mm-hmm.
[Lydia] That's nice.
-Alright, shall we? -[Lydia] We shall.
[Moriah] Guys, what are you doing?
We're gonna leave.
-We're coming downstairs. -[Moriah] Oh, good.
Come on.
-[Lydia] Let's go down, -[Moriah] Everybody was wondering where you were.
I think they're out in the barn or something.
[Mercy] We might have kept you too long.
[Zac] We were stolen away.
We were enjoying beautiful music.
[all singing] Happy anniversary to you.
Happy anniversary, dear Zac and Lydia.
-Happy anniversary to you. -Oh, my gosh.
And many more.
[clapping and cheering]
Mwah!
Just like a year ago.
Oh, my goodness.
I truly was amazed that everyone put in so much effort
to just celebrate us for our anniversary,
and for us to be what they're celebrating,
I think, was really special.
Definitely didn't expect it.
It's a really sweet gesture.
You guys did this in like ten minutes?
[Kim] Yeah, we're like, "Go upstairs!"
I just hope next time, if conflict does arise, that
I'm not misunderstood, I guess.
At this point, I can't think about if.
Let me answer, please.
Yeah, I mean, if we're continued
to be misunderstood, then we just won't keep trying.
Well, I propose a toast to Lydia and Zac and to, uh,
one successful year of marriage and many more.
-Yes. -[all] Cheers!
-Cheers, cheers, cheers. -Cheers.
[Barry] The conflicts that were happening earlier in the day
kind of pale in comparison
just to the good feeling that happens in the moment
when you're celebrating.
It's hard to say if it would have been any different
had the conflict not happened.
We're learning to communicate some more, yeah.
We're getting opportunities to practice it, right?
And we're moving forward.
And so for me, the search for Sandra Bullock continues.
♪ All that I know ♪
♪ Wherever that I go ♪
[Lydia] We've all definitely come a long way
since what happened last year at this time.
You know, there have been rough patches,
but it's ultimately been good.
And we'll, you know, continue growing
and continue just
leaving it open-ended without any expectations.
I think that's the biggest thing we've learned.
'Cause you'll just wind up hurt and confused.
Honestly, I'm tired of working on relationships.
I just kind of wanna be for a little bit
and see who floats in and out of my life.
See who comes over...
[indistinct chatter]
...with no expectations.
It can be hard being a parent to so many different people,
and I'm still learning. I haven't figured it out.
If anybody gets it figured out, let me know.
♪ I'm coming home ♪