1 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,664 JAY: Wow, we really pulled this place together. 2 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,362 Do you think Kenny and Liz will like it? 3 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:17,278 I hope so. And I hope Liz Grams the hell out of this wedding 4 00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,062 for her 300,000 followers. 5 00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,977 Oh, I know I've made fun of her social media, 6 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,414 but now that it could help us launch our bed-and-breakfast, 7 00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,982 weare the ones who are #Blessed.[chuckles] 8 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,288 Oh, this is lovely! 9 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,551 I hope these nuptials go better than mine. 10 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,118 Elias arrived late, drunk, 11 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,423 and smelling of the maid's perfume. 12 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,208 Hetty, why would you marry that guy? 13 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:35,905 My father needed to close a land deal, 14 00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:37,515 and I was deemed his most comely daughter. 15 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:40,127 Damn Margaret and her mustache. She dodged a bullet. 16 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,433 Hey, you got a minute? 17 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,087 Something I need you to see. 18 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,523 Those are always expensive words to hear. 19 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,221 Oh, Mark, is it bad news? 20 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,874 This could actually be good news. 21 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,007 Well, I'll bring a check for five grand just in case. 22 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,835 No need. I have your card on file now. 23 00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,271 Great. 24 00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,186 MARK: So, I was doing some rewiring, 25 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,406 and when I turned this sconce, I heard a click from that wall. 26 00:00:58,449 --> 00:00:59,581 Check this out. 27 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,452 [lock clicks] 28 00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:02,627 [Hetty gasps][creaking] 29 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:06,414 And that's when I discovered something behind this paneling. 30 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,850 Is it a secret passageway? 31 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,504 Don't toy with my emotions, Mark. 32 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,028 It's never a secret passageway. 33 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,943 But in this case, it is. 34 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,641 How about that mislead, babe?Mark's having fun. 35 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,339 Oh! Oh! 36 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,386 Did you know about this, Hetty?I did not! 37 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,301 What is down the passageway? 38 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,955 Oh, it's good. 39 00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:28,436 [Jay laughs] 40 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,003 I don't understand. 41 00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:33,441 So, we just have a bank vault under our house? 42 00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:35,660 Well, you said a robber baron lived here, right? 43 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,707 What? Babe, we might be rich. 44 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,926 Unless, of course, this is a Geraldo situation. 45 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,928 What is Geraldo? 46 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,669 He was this news anchor 47 00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,018 who did this live TV special 48 00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,846 where he opened up Al Capone's vault. 49 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,066 And inside? Bubkes. 50 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,155 Don't get me started on Al Capone. 51 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,940 [chuckles] That man was clingy.Can you open it? 52 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,420 Think so. 53 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,900 Course, it'll take a while. 54 00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,510 Won't be cheap.Mark. 55 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,121 Say the word. Card's on file. 56 00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,775 My crooked husband must have built this 57 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,255 to embezzle my riches. 58 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,301 Hetty thinks there might be riches inside. 59 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,607 If this thing isfilled with gold coins, 60 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,609 I am definitely gonna Scrooge McDuck in 'em. 61 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,916 Can one of you walk through the door and see what's in there? 62 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,614 I'll do it. A Pinecone Trooper's always up for an adventure.Mm. 63 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,791 ALBERTA: Oh!Peter![grunts] 64 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,403 I've never seen that happen before. 65 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:23,969 Pete bounced off the vault door. 66 00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:27,190 [gasps] A surface that's impenetrable to ghosts? 67 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,714 I love it when the mythology gets expanded. 68 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:33,065 Puny Pete must not be strong enough. 69 00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:35,285 Stand back. 70 00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:36,547 [shouts] 71 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,506 [ghosts exclaim][Thorfinn grunts] 72 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:42,336 Well, this ismysterious. 73 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,339 ♪ 74 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:49,865 SAMANTHA: Hetty, do you have any idea 75 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,693 what combination Elias could have used? 76 00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,521 Oh, that's a good idea. 77 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,087 Try 0603. 78 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,785 Try 0603. 79 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,179 It was our anniversary.JAY:0603. 80 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,746 [inhales, grunts] Oh, nope.HETTY: Okay. 81 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,661 Fine. Uh, try 1101. 82 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,967 1101? 83 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,925 The maid's birthday.[lock clicking] 84 00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,537 01. [inhales, grunts] 85 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:10,712 [door unlocks] 86 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:11,713 Yes!Oh! 87 00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,715 Ah, that is heavy! 88 00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:16,979 [grunts, exhales] 89 00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:18,198 Okay. 90 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,678 Damn it! 91 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,245 There's nothing in here. 92 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,204 Aw. No riches. 93 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,770 See, now picture this 94 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,511 but with Geraldo having to vamp for two hours. 95 00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,121 [man laughs] 96 00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:32,037 Sweet Lord, I'm finally free.[all gasp] 97 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,823 Who are all you people? Hetty! 98 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:37,739 Elias. How are you not rotting in hell? 99 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,741 Good to see you, too. 100 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,178 The ghost of a robber baron just popped out of our safe. 101 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,875 Hey, where's all your gold, man? 102 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,008 Hi! I'm Pete. Nice to meet you. 103 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,270 Welcome. 104 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,490 [chuckles]: Back, I guess. Welcome back. 105 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:50,708 Oh, my God. 106 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,189 SAMANTHA: Is that...?!My corpse? 107 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,147 It is. The only thing that kept me company 108 00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,976 when I was locked in there for the last 130 years. 109 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,369 Not much of a talker, though. 110 00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:00,849 [doorbell rings] 111 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:03,373 That must be Kenny and Liz. I'll get it. 112 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,853 Okay. I'll just stay in here 113 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,550 with the corpse and all the ghosts. 114 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,204 I was kidding. Sam, please slow down! 115 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,553 Sam! 116 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:12,295 So, this is where you've been all this time? 117 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,558 Yes. What did you think 118 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,994 when I just disappeared? 119 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,431 Didn't you search for me? 120 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,302 You didn't tell anyone about the vault. 121 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,304 I assumed that you ran off with one of your many floozies. 122 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,698 No. The vault maker locked me in here. 123 00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:26,048 He left me to suffocate.Oh. 124 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,571 His wife and I had grown close. 125 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,399 Oh, God.And when he finished the vault, 126 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:30,966 there was a debate over payment 127 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,141 and the paternity of his son, but... Oh. 128 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,752 Wait, all of you are ghosts? 129 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,233 Yeah, bro. We've all died on the property over the years. 130 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,887 PETE: Most people go up, 131 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,715 but we just stick around for some reason.THORFINN: Hi. 132 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,717 [chuckles] I am Thorfinn. 133 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,327 I like herring and... 134 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:48,026 Wonderful. Now, how do-eth you, madam? 135 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,550 Really? 136 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:52,596 Mm-mm. Not happening. 137 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:57,079 [gasps] Hi! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!SAMANTHA: Hi! 138 00:04:57,122 --> 00:05:01,126 Oh, I am so excited to be here. 139 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,391 I can't believe we're getting married tomorrow. 140 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,436 [squeals] 141 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,873 [inhales] Kenny, did you get that? 142 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,701 Oh! Sorry, the phone wasn't ready. 143 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,355 Uh...[sighs] Okay, this is gonna be a big weekend 144 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,226 for us, so I'm gonna need you to have your phone 145 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,663 in your hand at all times, okay?Yeah. 146 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,273 These two seem like a lot. 147 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,709 Oh, so, who's this little guy? 148 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,058 [yips] [chuckles]Oh, this is Rooney, 149 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,017 our rescue that we rescued. 150 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,627 Oh, my God, Rooney. I follow him. 151 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:26,891 Uh, Rooney's got, like, 30,000 followers. 152 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,197 What's a follower? 153 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,894 Well, in the cult, it referred to anyone 154 00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,027 who'd gotten the tattoo and slept with Bruce. 155 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,203 Are you guys gonna post any pictures while you're here? 156 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:37,337 Feel free to tag us. #WoodstoneB&B. 157 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,469 I absolutely will, 158 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,166 just after the wedding. 159 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,691 Actually on a short social media vacay right now. 160 00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:44,735 [Rooney yips]It's part 161 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:45,780 of a brand strategy 162 00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,303 to make sure that Liz 163 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,652 seems more present for life's big moments. 164 00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,001 LIZ:Exactly. 165 00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,308 Because life is about what happens 166 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,528 when the cameras aren't rolling. 167 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,009 Kenny, did you get that?Oh, sorry. 168 00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,925 [chuckles] Damn it. Okay, we'll roll it back.Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 169 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,798 ELIAS: I still can't believe 170 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,103 I didn't ascend into heaven. 171 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,584 I paid the church. There was a contract! 172 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,587 Did you pay for me, too, or was it just a solo trip? 173 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:11,936 I was a little pinched at the time. 174 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,547 The mill workers had unionized, 175 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,026 which I put down violently, 176 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,854 but somebody had to pay for that mob. 177 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,421 That is not a great story. 178 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,423 TREVOR:So, you're an actual robber baron. 179 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,382 I mean, you're, like, really rich, right? 180 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:26,037 Let me put it to you this way: I ate meat several times a week. 181 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,388 Well, it's not a Lamborghini, but that's very cool. 182 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,912 So, did anyone else from our day stick around as a ghost? 183 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,348 He's gonna ask about the maid. 184 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,220 Like, oh, I don't know, say, the maid? 185 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,831 Just to name someone randomly. 186 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,310 No, she's no longer here, 187 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,703 you syphilitic reprobate. 188 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,706 First off, everybody fun had syphilis. 189 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,665 And I don't appreciate that tone. 190 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,318 HETTY:Well, then maybe you should go back 191 00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,146 down to your vault and talk to your withered corpse. 192 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,452 There it is again. 193 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,236 What happened to my obedient wife? 194 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,326 Well, modern women don't just defer to their husbands, 195 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,416 Elias, and I have learned from the living lady of the house 196 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,156 that when she doesn't like something, she says so. 197 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,116 Like when Jay spent $500 on action doll. 198 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,683 [chuckles]: Big mistake. 199 00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,729 That living lady is a dangerous influence on you 200 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,731 with her newfangled notions. 201 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,386 HETTY:She and Jay have simply opened my eyes. 202 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,822 They have a respectful marriage, 203 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,389 and you were a terrible husband, Elias. 204 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,869 And my least favorite cousin. 205 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:18,786 I don't have to stand here and listen to another word of this! 206 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:22,180 Look, it's not important, but how hot was this maid? 207 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:24,574 [mouths] 208 00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,142 [Elias grunts] 209 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,015 What kind of servant doesn't move out of the way? 210 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,277 [exhales] 211 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,323 [breathing heavily] 212 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,849 You want to go into that room and have sex right now? 213 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,329 I... What? 214 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,375 I want you like I've never wanted anyone.Uh, 215 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:47,118 sorry, I'm married. But that was a much-needed confidence boost. 216 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,773 What are you talking about? 217 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:52,036 About you hitting on me just now? 218 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,821 You wish. 219 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,695 Wow. 220 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,915 And this is where it all happens. 221 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,831 Wow. The wedding planner was raving 222 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,833 about the heritage menu you're doing. 223 00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,139 Now, I've never had squab. 224 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,011 What's that like? 225 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,883 I'd say it's like pigeon. It's a lot like pigeon. 226 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,755 Well, I'm really looking forward to seeing 227 00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,583 what you come up with.[Elias grunts] 228 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:19,281 Oh! Blast it, that hurt. 229 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,196 [sighs]Uh... 230 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,850 are you okay? 231 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,591 Yeah. 232 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:28,246 [chuckles]: I feel real good. 233 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,552 [chuckles]: Oh, great. 234 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,423 Well, I-I'll just show you the sauces. 235 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:34,122 All I can think about is grabbing your butt. 236 00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,172 What? What is it? What's going on, Jay?Okay. 237 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,522 I don't know how to tell you this. 238 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,307 Liz hit on me. 239 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,875 What? The bride?Oh, okay. 240 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,572 Wait, what does that mean? 241 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,270 You don't believe me?No, it's just, are you sure 242 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,272 this isn't, like, an Olive Garden situation? 243 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,274 Okay, that waitress definitely hit on me. 244 00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,363 What is the Olive Garden?SAMANTHA: It's a restaurant 245 00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,930 known for its endless breadstick baskets. 246 00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,629 Alberta and Sass are here.Oh, hey. 247 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,501 Endless? How is that even possible? 248 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,242 Jay and I ate there a couple months ago, 249 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,331 and our waitress was refilling our bread basket... 250 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,289 Yeah, and then I said, "No, thank you, or I'll eat 251 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,902 'olive' them." Olive. Olive Garden. [laughs] 252 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,512 Tonya laughed for six straight minutes. 253 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,948 Yeah, she works for tips, Jay. 254 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,950 Hey, this is a victory for you. 255 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,910 You have me. You're living Tonya's dream. 256 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,781 Okay, so, what exactly did Liz say? 257 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:28,045 She said all she could think about was grabbing my butt. 258 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,830 Mm. That little thing? 259 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,528 Wait, seriously? She didhit on you. 260 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,964 That's insane.JAY:Do we 261 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,487 tell Kenny? Because if we tell Kenny, 262 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,664 then this wedding probably gets called off, right? 263 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,013 Liz was gonna post about it. 264 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,449 This was gonna put us on the map. 265 00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,016 But we got to tell him, right? 266 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,626 Yes. 267 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,629 Ugh, why do you have to be so damn irresistible? 268 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:49,023 Sorry. It's a curse. 269 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,503 [sighs] Hey, guys. 270 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,984 What's wrong, Samantha? 271 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,943 It has been a day. 272 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,119 [sighs] Tell me about it. 273 00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,164 I cannot believe Elias is back. 274 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:03,298 Till death do us part. It's right in the vows. 275 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,996 So, why'd you have a bad day, Samantha? 276 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,781 Well, the bride hit on Jay, 277 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,783 and now Kenny's probably gonna call the whole thing off. 278 00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,262 What?Wait, seriously? 279 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:12,829 Now she's not gonna post pictures of the mansion, 280 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,570 and we're not even gonna get paid for the wedding. 281 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,920 We're, like, this close to defaulting on our loan. 282 00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,095 HETTY: Samantha, 283 00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,314 what are you saying? 284 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,359 Okay, I hadn't told you guys, 285 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,318 but if we don't start making money soon, 286 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,015 we could lose the house. 287 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:28,279 [gasps] No, you cannot leave us! 288 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,107 Just when I finally learned to look beyond the hideous pants 289 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,675 and see the wonderful person inside the hideous pants. 290 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,851 You think I want to leave? I don't know what to do. 291 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,636 I have it. Solution. 292 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,768 You and small man kill yourselves. 293 00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,249 Become ghosts. And then we are friends forever. 294 00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,990 But they might not actually become ghosts. 295 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:45,732 Right, that's the problem with that plan. 296 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,995 Hello, all. Get your spatterdashes 297 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,171 off my table. I had it upholstered 298 00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:51,868 with the hide of a white rhinoceros 299 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,565 I shot in Kenya. 300 00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,480 Oh, my God. Those are extinct now. 301 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,569 Really? We got 'em all? Bully for us. 302 00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:58,875 Man, he is evil. 303 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,616 And I used to pillage for a living. 304 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,227 [Rooney yips]Oh! That thing ran 305 00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:06,578 through my leg. Skin that beast and turn it into a table. 306 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,450 Must everything be a table? 307 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,495 TREVOR: Well, he's 308 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,628 really interested in that teddy bear. 309 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,891 THORFINN: Ah! Look at the little guy go. 310 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,677 Good boy. Yes, use your hips. 311 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,114 One walk through you and the dog becomes a sex pervert. 312 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,724 Can't say I'm surprised. 313 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:25,075 Wait, Elias, did you walk through any Livings today? 314 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,990 Like the bride, to be specific? 315 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:30,037 Yes, in fact, I did accidentally happen through her. Why? 316 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,300 That's it. That's why Liz hit on Jay. 317 00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:34,824 Your ghost power is that when people-- 318 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,173 or animals, apparently-- 319 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,001 walk through you, they get horny. 320 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,394 Really? 321 00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:40,787 Okay, I know he's controversial, 322 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,789 but that's pretty cool.Yeah. 323 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,312 It wasn't Liz's fault at all. 324 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,879 She didn't mean to hit on Jay. 325 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,837 I've got to stop Jay telling Kenny. 326 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,709 HETTY: Well, 327 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,188 I hope you're happy. 328 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:53,190 You nearly ruined this wedding. 329 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,844 Those two are hemorrhaging cash. 330 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,367 They need this to be a success. 331 00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,195 You're saying those Livings need this wedding 332 00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,806 to go off without a hitch, 333 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,111 otherwise they'll be leaving? 334 00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,634 Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. 335 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,375 Hmm. 336 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,768 Why is he literally twirling 337 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:06,943 his mustache? 338 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,771 It can't be good. 339 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,470 Kenny, hey. 340 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,734 I've been looking all over for you.What's up, buddy? 341 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,692 I don't know how to say this. Um... 342 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,869 Okay, y-you know how I'm always getting hit on by random women? 343 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,002 Is this about the Cheesecake Factory waitress? 344 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,656 There's an entire factory dedicated to cheesecake? 345 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,224 It's as amazing as it sounds.[whispers]: Wow. 346 00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,661 No, it's not about her.You know, she probably writes 347 00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,098 "thank you" with the little heart-shaped Os 348 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,056 on every receipt. She works for tips. 349 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,059 Uh, Jay, can I just, uh, grab you for a sec? 350 00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,105 Actually, Kenny and I were just about to have 351 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,934 a difficult conversation.We were? 352 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,632 Well, no difficult conversations are needed, 353 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,373 because everything is actually okay. 354 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,374 FLOWER: Oh, hey, 355 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,636 it's the Monopoly guy. 356 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,159 What are you talking about, Sam? 357 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,421 I'm talking about the fact that... 358 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,467 [grunts]Criminy. 359 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,686 ISAAC: Oh, 360 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,471 what are you doing, man? 361 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:57,515 Just spreading a little love. 362 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,343 Aw, that's sweet. 363 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,824 You two are looking good. 364 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,348 Verygood. 365 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,134 Jay? What's going on? 366 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,831 I haven't seen Sam this worked up 367 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,964 since she saw that movie The Holidayon TV. 368 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,097 Sam?[grunts] Damnation! 369 00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,882 You can't just walk through people. 370 00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,144 It's the greatest pain there is. 371 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,362 Well, actually... 372 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:19,363 Yes, yes, we know.Okay. 373 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,452 Well, hello, you two. 374 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,716 Did you leave the oven on? Or is it just getting... 375 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,370 hot in here? 376 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,808 Well, enjoy the show. 377 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,331 JAY: Hey, Kenny, 378 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,333 didn't you say you didn't have a bachelor party? 379 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,858 Well, how about we have a little party right here? 380 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,729 What?I could be Cameron Diaz, 381 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:41,124 and you two could be a couple of Jude Laws. 382 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,473 Okay, that was not in the movie. 383 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:43,823 [meows]KENNY: What is that? 384 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,433 Did you just meow at me? 385 00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:48,175 What are you doing? What's going on? 386 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,437 I don't think I'm tall enough to be Jude Law. 387 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,091 Liz. Liz. Liz! 388 00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,310 Oh. 389 00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:54,746 [Samantha chuckles softly] 390 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,357 What happened? I feel like I just blacked out. 391 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,228 Me, too. I-I have the strangest urge 392 00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,577 to watch a Nancy Meyers movie. 393 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,579 Kenny? What's happening? 394 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,972 These two 395 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:05,932 just propositioned me for a threesome. 396 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,324 They what? 397 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,586 We what? 398 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,153 It was Elias. 399 00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:11,894 Oh, God. 400 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,853 Uh, there's got to be some kind of misunderstanding. 401 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,813 No. No. Uh, we did proposition Kenny, actually. 402 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,946 What?JAY: Babe. 403 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,730 As a test of your faithfulness. 404 00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,906 And guess what. You passed. [chuckles] 405 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:27,257 Yep, you passed. Flying colors.LIZ: I'm sorry, 406 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:30,260 you two tried to have sex with my Kenny 407 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,001 the day before my wedding? 408 00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,655 No. No, God, no. 409 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,700 Oh, my God, no, I would not have sex with Kenny. 410 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,006 But you guys 411 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,530 should definitely have sex with each other. 412 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,924 Okay, this is too weird. 413 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:45,623 Uh, disgusting. We will not be having our wedding here. 414 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,365 No, no, no, don't leave. What about the squab? 415 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:49,453 The squab![Pete exhales] 416 00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,591 You know, a bake sale's a quick way to earn some cash. 417 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,376 O-Our troop once raised $78 in one week. 418 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,770 Thanks, Pete.What's happening? 419 00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:05,034 The ghosts are pitching ways for us to make money.That's sweet. 420 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,254 Any viable ideas?ALBERTA: I have a plan. 421 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,082 But it only works if you have a tommy gun. 422 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,648 Not really. 423 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,476 TREVOR: Here's what you do. You go to New York. 424 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,348 You look up this guy I know. He's gonna double your money. 425 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,784 His name, Bernie Madoff. 426 00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,133 Miracle worker. 427 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,483 I robbed a bank once, if that helps. 428 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,963 Did I ever tell you guys 429 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,791 about that?[ghosts murmuring] 430 00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,097 I don't think we're gonna get out of this mess, Sam. 431 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,533 We're up to our ears in debt. 432 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,317 This house is our only asset. 433 00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,450 I think we're gonna have to sell. 434 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,670 Aw, are the poors gonna have to leave? 435 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,281 That didn't take long. 436 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,457 I'd tell you exactly how long, 437 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,676 but unfortunately this thing doesn't work anymore. 438 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,983 You'd think, for $5,000, 439 00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,593 it would last into the afterlife. 440 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:46,075 You spent $5,000 on a watch?! 441 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:47,859 Wait a minute. 442 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,775 If Elias has that valuable timepiece on his ghostly person, 443 00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,603 that must mean...The real watch 444 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,170 must be on his corpse. 445 00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:56,129 What about a corpse? 446 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:59,219 Babe, I need you to do me a quick favor. 447 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,527 Yeah, I don't think I can do this. 448 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:04,789 It's looking right at me. 449 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,052 Babe, he's not looking at you. 450 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,054 His eyes are little, withered husks. 451 00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,360 That is not having the calming effect that you want it to. 452 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,493 Okay. 453 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,973 Okay. 454 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,496 Oh. 455 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,019 I know what pocket he kept it in, 456 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,717 but I confess, I'm enjoying this.[chuckles] 457 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:21,893 SAMANTHA: Guys? 458 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,939 We got it.THORFINN: Yes! 459 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,029 All right! I bet that's worth a pretty penny in today's dollars. 460 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,204 Definitely enough to keep the bank 461 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,553 off our backs for a few months. 462 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,555 Take that, bank.Yes, I'm sure the bank 463 00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:34,167 will be very hurt that you're making timely payments. 464 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,647 So, this means you're not selling the house?SAMANTHA: No, Sass, 465 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,432 we're staying. We have a few more months 466 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,737 to get the business up and running. 467 00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:42,827 Well, I am very happy about that. 468 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,264 Oh, look, Elias, 469 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,657 another opinion. And nothing you can do about it. 470 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,747 You think this is over? That I'm just going to give up? 471 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,358 As long as I'm here, 472 00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:52,750 they will never host a wedding 473 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,622 that I don't turn into an all-out orgy. 474 00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,493 So just normal wedding? 475 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,365 And I won't stop there. Whatever they host, 476 00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,062 I'll make it horny. 477 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,064 Funeral? Horny. 478 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,674 High tea? Horny. 479 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:07,417 Baptism? Ravenous thrust-fest. 480 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,071 Is this starting to sound good to anybody else? 481 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,507 Why are you doing this? 482 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,509 Because I want you Livings out of here. 483 00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,555 You have corrupted my Hetty. 484 00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,427 No! I haven't been corrupted. 485 00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,473 I have changed. A little. 486 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:22,693 For the better, I think. Let's be honest. 487 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:25,479 Elias, you and I were not good people. 488 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,133 We stole. We exploited. 489 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,396 We profited off of others' misery. 490 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:30,875 We did have fun. 491 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,573 But while you were trapped in that vault, 492 00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,444 I have been out here. 493 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,707 Learning from these people. 494 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:39,841 Learning from Alberta to speak my mind 495 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,364 and learning from Sam 496 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,192 that the Irish are people, too, apparently. 497 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,455 She says it, but I don't think she believes it.HETTY: Yes, 498 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,109 I complain about being here. 499 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,503 And yes, I do want to be sucked off more than anything. 500 00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:52,984 But these people have taught me how to be a better Hetty. 501 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:56,553 And I say there's hope for you, too, 502 00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,120 Elias. 503 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,643 You're here for eternity. 504 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,081 Why not use it to change? 505 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,345 I don't need to be a better person. 506 00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,173 There is no good or evil. 507 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,305 That's just a story we tell ourselves. 508 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,741 And I know better. 509 00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,701 So, Hetty, get this through your tiny, 510 00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:16,921 inferior female brain. 511 00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:20,316 I will never change. 512 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,972 Well, then, you can go to hell. 513 00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,410 [Hetty gasps][Elias grunts] 514 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:30,065 [all scream] 515 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,284 Whoa! 516 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,502 Oh, my God! 517 00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,025 He just went down on us. 518 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,592 I didn't know that could happen. 519 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,072 Yeah, I don't love having to worry about that. 520 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,422 Did I... Did I just...? 521 00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:42,904 Is that my power, we think? Banishing people to Hades? 522 00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,601 Or it was him just yelling he was never gonna change 523 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,342 and basically thumbing his nose at the universe. 524 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:47,691 That's another possibility. 525 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,215 Well, we should try it out. 526 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,390 Trevor, go to hell. 527 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,522 [all scream]Why?! Why?! Why?! 528 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,916 Why?! Why would you pick me?! What is wrong with you?! 529 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,005 Guess not. 530 00:18:57,048 --> 00:19:00,139 That was so scary.Oh, calm down. 531 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,189 I mean, this is just a big day 532 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,582 in terms of ghost rules. 533 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,061 So, the floor opens up, 534 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,541 and this guy falls through right in front of you? 535 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,282 That's incredible. 536 00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,458 Well, Jay seems awfully gleeful about this new horror 537 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:16,807 we all have hanging over our heads. 538 00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:18,200 You got to tell me how it happened. I mean, 539 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,246 was it hot? Was there screaming? 540 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,943 Was country music playing? 541 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,510 Well, there was screaming, 542 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,077 but I'm pretty sure that was just from our ghosts. 543 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:28,210 Thor not scream. Thor not scared 544 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,778 of some silly hole in the ground. [chuckles] 545 00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:33,084 Because Thor working towards being better person. 546 00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,217 [chuckles]: Very open to change. 547 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,915 It all happened so fast. It was, like, this red light, suddenly, 548 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,134 and then whoosh. 549 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,744 Mm! He went down on us. 550 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,442 Alberta, I'm not sure that's the best term... 551 00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,183 [chuckles]: What? If that's the term that she wants to use, 552 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,619 then she can do it. 553 00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,403 Hello, all. 554 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,405 I'm feeling in a good mood, 555 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:53,104 so you may all remain on this earthly plane tonight. 556 00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,932 [laughs mockingly] So funny. 557 00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:57,457 Hetty just came in, joking about trying to send Trevor to hell. 558 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,459 Aw, too soon, Hetty. 559 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:03,245 Trevor, I told you, I knew it wasn't going to work. 560 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,247 I don't actually have that power. 561 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,553 Or do I? 562 00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,381 Thorfinn, you're in my seat. 563 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,600 Moving! Yes. 564 00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,866 Wasn't comfortable there, anyways.