1 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,620 Wow. I can't believe 2 00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:14,797 you sleep in a bed every night. 3 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:19,845 Ooh, a girl could really get used to this pillow business. 4 00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,630 Yep, I could've used one. 5 00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:24,024 [groans] God, hey, would you mind 6 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,982 rubbing this knot in my shoulder, Nancy? 7 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,853 Hey, hey, hey. 8 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,246 You know the rules. 9 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,118 This is a fake relationship, 10 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:34,817 so I am not rubbing any of your man parts. 11 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,080 I mean, technically, everyone has shoulders. 12 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,995 Ooh, now how about we head downstairs 13 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,216 and get that living butler to make us something to smell 14 00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:43,434 for breakfast? 15 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,522 You mean Sam? 16 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,176 She's actually a writer 17 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,873 and a small business owner, she's not our butler. 18 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:50,093 Oh, okay, okay. 19 00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,921 Too good to be a butler. 20 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,706 You know, when I was alive, women couldn't even be a butler. 21 00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,318 You could be a wench, a midwife or a whore. 22 00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,103 Oh, well, that's not something 23 00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,497 I feel particularly compelled to follow up on. 24 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:03,759 ♪ 25 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:10,113 [phone chimes, buzzes] 26 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,988 Oh, that's Bela. She'll be here in an hour. 27 00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:18,861 And now you'll probably explain to a room full of ghosts 28 00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,254 who Bela is. 29 00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,691 I mean, was curious, yes. 30 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:23,996 Bela's Jay's sister. 31 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,389 She lives in Boston, she's coming to visit. 32 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,261 Oh.Oh, must be nice. 33 00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,567 All my sisters died before the age of two. 34 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,179 Damn, Isaac, we ain't even smelled our morning coffee yet. 35 00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,268 SAMANTHA: Bela's boyfriend broke up with her last week, 36 00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,139 so she's coming to stay to clear her head. 37 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,054 How is she doing now, Jay? 38 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,665 I talked to her a few days ago, and she's still really down. 39 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,624 Oh, that's great. Excuse me? 40 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,147 No, I mean, it's awful. 41 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,801 It's just, you know, 42 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,933 I excel in helping girlfriends get over breakups. 43 00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,371 I hope she really likes the Legally Blondefranchise, 44 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,460 'cause that is gonna be a big part of her next 48 hours. 45 00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:55,767 Okay, let's just try not to act too excited. 46 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,247 Sorry, sorry. 47 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:58,379 It's just, I thought this could be a chance 48 00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,989 for she and I to finally bond. 49 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,904 Look, I don't have siblings, 50 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,254 so when you and I got married, I thought Bela and I 51 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,604 could become sisters, but that hasn't happened. 52 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,171 ISAAC: Excuse me, 53 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,608 but in what room will this Bela be sleeping? 54 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,828 Oh, right. Well, I guess one of you guys 55 00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,438 will have to give up your room for the weekend. 56 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,397 [ghosts dissenting] 57 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,702 Sorry. THORFINN: Okay. 58 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,878 I have plan. 59 00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,576 Thor, we can't kill Bela. 60 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,795 [laughs] It's not what I was 61 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,580 going to say, but, uh, 62 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:29,061 give Thor a moment to think of what I was going to say. 63 00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:31,412 [sighs] Not kill. 64 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,196 ISAAC: Troops, 65 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,024 Samantha has informed us that one of us will be required 66 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,896 to forfeit our rooms. 67 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,115 Can't the sister just take the empty bedroom? 68 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,551 HETTY: We offered that, 69 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,163 but Samantha is aware of the mold and the draft. 70 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,208 You got to sell the view. When I was pushing penny stocks, 71 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,731 you think I emphasized the risk? 72 00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,516 No, you shine that turd. 73 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:49,865 I call not it. 74 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,388 Is unbreakable oath. 75 00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,260 Oh, please, that is how children make decisions. 76 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:54,957 But also, not it. 77 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,002 Trevor is the most recently dead, let him take it. 78 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,527 Ooh, that's how we divvied things up in the first place. 79 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:02,747 This time we do it in reserve order of seniority. 80 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,663 Thor not like this. This is bad outcome for Thor. 81 00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,143 [overlapping chatter] 82 00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,365 The sanctity of my room will not be... 83 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,844 Hey! Hey! Guys! 84 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,846 I can't stand to watch you fight. 85 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,326 I will take the room. Oh. 86 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,067 You sure, Pete?Yeah. You know, 87 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,242 a little mold never hurt anybody. 88 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,461 [laughs] It'll be like camping. 89 00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,289 Then it's settled. Thank you, Pete, 90 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,551 for your sacrifice, and for your sake, 91 00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,117 I hope that the rain holds out 92 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,249 so you don't have to deal with that pesky leak. 93 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,164 Uh? Oh, sorry, 94 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,992 the-the-- there's a leak in there now? 95 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,689 Be even more like camping. 96 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:32,995 [laughs] True.Nature. 97 00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,954 Nature. Yay! 98 00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,132 [knocking on door] 99 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,612 Okay, that must be her. 100 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:44,093 Let the girl bonding begin. 101 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,532 LL Uncool Jay. 102 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:49,620 'Cause that never gets old. 103 00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,274 [laughs] Hey. 104 00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,885 -SAMANTHA: Hey. -Hey, Sam. 105 00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,974 Hi. Oh, I don't need a nickname, 106 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,063 but Manhattan Sam Chowder could be something 107 00:03:58,107 --> 00:03:59,587 if you're looking for one. 108 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,632 What? You mean New England? 109 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,155 Manhattan is a soup, as well. 110 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,724 It's also where I lived, so it's tomato-based. 111 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,117 [Thorfinn chuckles] 112 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,118 This is painful. 113 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:11,947 Yeah, I can't watch this. 114 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,992 Oh, this place is epic. 115 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,603 Okay. [laughs] 116 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,779 It is so good to see you guys. 117 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,346 JAY: It's good to see you, too. 118 00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,217 I wish it could have been under better circumstances. 119 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,567 Oh, but don't worry. I have the perfect night planned 120 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,482 to help you get over that jerk. 121 00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:28,398 Oh, guys, it's cool. I'm so over him. 122 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,486 What's that? 123 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,314 I met someone new.Already? 124 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,316 Wow.So you don't need, like, 125 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,709 any cheering up at all, huh? 126 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,145 [laughs] That's great. 127 00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,103 There goes that plan. 128 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,496 BELA:Yeah, I set my dating profile 129 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,455 to the Hudson Valley a couple days ago, 130 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,674 'cause I knew I was gonna be up here, and then boom, 131 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:45,937 I matched with this insanely hot guy. 132 00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,722 We've been messaging, 133 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,332 and we're really vibing. 134 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,333 [gasps] Do you want to see him? 135 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:51,856 Yeah, sure. 136 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,816 Oh, dang. I got to stop leaving my house on 17%. 137 00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,948 Well, I'm gonna drop my bags and grab a charge. 138 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,080 I'll show you the way. 139 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,998 Sorry Jay's sister's not devastated, Sam. 140 00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,957 Yes, we are here for you. 141 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,481 Thanks, guys. 142 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:11,180 So, you just gave away our pillow palace 143 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,269 to some rando's sister? 144 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,097 It's not some rando. It's Jay. 145 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,186 Who the hell's Jay? 146 00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,057 Sam's husband?Huh? 147 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,233 The living butler's husband? 148 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:24,628 Oh, face it, Pete. You're a pushover. 149 00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,064 Because I gave in on one little thing 150 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:28,197 in the interest of house harmony? 151 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,200 You didn't give in on one thing. You give in on everything. 152 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,810 You told me yourself 153 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,551 you never get to pick the movie on movie night. 154 00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,292 Well, that's true.And you're 155 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,860 always the caboose in the massage train.I mean, 156 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:41,906 someone's got to be.Why can't it be a circle, huh? 157 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:45,214 That way, everyone gets their man parts rubbed. 158 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:48,348 Again, shoulders are not specific to men.You start 159 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,045 standing up for yourself 160 00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,568 and get our room back, 161 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,963 or I will tell everyone our relationship is fake 162 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:58,270 and that you have a huge crush on Alberta. 163 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,185 You know, there's a certain irony 164 00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:02,797 to you strong-arming me into being less of a pushover. 165 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,321 That did not escape me, Pete. [chuckles] 166 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,236 [coughs] 167 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:08,803 Housekeeping. 168 00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,674 [Samantha chuckles][chuckles, gasps softly] 169 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,416 And we are charged. Do you want to see the guy?SAMANTHA: Oh. 170 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,939 Yes, please.Okay, now, 171 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,463 he's not my normal type. He comes off 172 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,334 as this, like, douchey finance bro. 173 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,727 And he is a little, 174 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,164 but he's also, like, really sensitive. 175 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,602 Damn, Bela! 176 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:28,605 Get it, girl. This dude is hot.Right? 177 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,303 Oh, my God. 178 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,307 He's really something. 179 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,787 I can explain. 180 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,316 Look, I don't see what's wrong. I mean, that guy seems great. 181 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,015 Not to mention, so dreamy. 182 00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,712 Wow. That's so kind.No. 183 00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:51,149 I don't want another word out of you unless it's explaining 184 00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,412 why my sister-in-law was chatting 185 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,804 to a guy with your profile picture. 186 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,589 Whose picture?SAMANTHA: The guy in the photo, 187 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,504 it was Trevor.JAY:Trevor? 188 00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,245 No pants? The one who keeps hitting on you? 189 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:03,118 How come you never told me about those cheekbones?TREVOR: Okay, 190 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,337 starting to warm up to this guy.You. 191 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,688 Just out with it. What the hell is going on? 192 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,517 I may have made myself a dating profile.What? 193 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,737 How?Well, it all started a few months back. 194 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,392 I was minding my own business, hoping I might get lucky 195 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,394 and see a painter fall off his ladder. 196 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,483 When you've been dead 20 years, it's the little things 197 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,789 that really keep you going. 198 00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,660 Please get to the point.Right. Anyway, 199 00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:27,447 he took a break, and nothing prepared me for what I saw next. 200 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,972 So many women. 201 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,800 [chuckles]: So many varieties. 202 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,106 Short women. Tall women. Platinum blondes. 203 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,935 Dirty blondes. Strawberry blondes.SAMANTHA: This is painful. 204 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,241 TREVOR: The humble craftsman 205 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,896 had shown me a brave new world, 206 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,985 and I knew right away that I wanted in. 207 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,509 So, for the next month, I studied. 208 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:50,208 I learned how to download apps. I asked all the right questions. 209 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,993 Oh, what a cute little stinker. 210 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,212 How exactly did you save that? 211 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,911 In detail.Oh, it's easy. 212 00:07:56,954 --> 00:08:00,088 You just press down, and the menu pops up, and... 213 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,698 Interesting. 214 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:04,179 And eventually I was ready to put my plan 215 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,659 into action. 216 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,053 [chuckles] 217 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,533 SAMANTHA: He used the kitchen iPad. 218 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,275 I knew we needed a better password than 1234. 219 00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:14,885 You're right. I should have anticipated 220 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,279 a ghost catfishing my sister.Wait, 221 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,976 how did you get a picture of yourself? 222 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,457 TREVOR: It took weeks of sneaking down 223 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,546 night after night, working letter by letter.[grunts] 224 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:26,114 Sam, I was like Andy Dufresne chiseling 225 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,768 through to a new life with a little rock hammer.[grunts] 226 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,204 Andy Dufresne? Who's that? 227 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,814 Seriously? Shawshank. Shawshank. 228 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:32,424 Come on, babe. 229 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,426 TREVOR: Finally, after all that toiling... 230 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,516 [panting] 231 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,692 ...it was done. 232 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,955 The perfect profile. 233 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,570 [grunts] 234 00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:50,268 And then, one fateful night, I started getting matches. 235 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,488 [grunts] 236 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,359 And then two days ago, I matched with Jay's sister. 237 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,231 And then a couple days ago, he matched with Bela. 238 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:59,103 They feel pain when we pass through them, right?Jay. 239 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:02,193 Is he seri... [grunts]Come here! Oh! [grunts] 240 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,891 Where are you? 241 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,633 Ooh. Aah! 242 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,460 Oh!Did I get him? 243 00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,027 Yeah, really good. 244 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,594 [clears throat]I'm sorry. 245 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,509 The only thing that hurts more 246 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,772 than knowing that I died before finding true love 247 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,122 is knowing that I died before I could crush it on these apps. 248 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,124 What was your endgame, Trevor? 249 00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:22,039 I just wanted the validation, I guess. 250 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,606 But then Bela showed up at the house, 251 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,869 and I realized those are real people on those apps. 252 00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,698 Or maybe they're other super motivated ghosts like me, 253 00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:30,134 but that seems less likely. 254 00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:32,136 Do you have any idea what you've done? 255 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,485 I'm sorry. 256 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,662 It's really lonely being a ghost. 257 00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,577 I miss having that connection with someone new, 258 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,144 that hope that she might be the one. 259 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,451 I'm never gonna get that again. 260 00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:43,757 Aw. 261 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,410 No! I'm still mad. 262 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:48,979 Ooh, Sam, this is really, really bad. 263 00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,155 Bela was so upset when Gabe broke up with her. 264 00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:53,810 Her emoji use was unhinged. 265 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,813 If she finds out she was catfished now... 266 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,294 Well, you wanted a reason to cheer her up.SAMANTHA: No. 267 00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,035 I actually wanted to help her 268 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,037 through a normal but difficult situation. 269 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,692 I didn't want her destroyed by some dead frat bro. 270 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,781 JAY: Oh, we are going to have to play this 271 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,304 very delicately. 272 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:10,435 I got it. 273 00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,524 Trevor has to "move." 274 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:14,004 Yes. 275 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,745 To somewhere far away 276 00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:18,356 and unappealing. Because she's my sister. I love her. 277 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,358 But she's very thirsty, and she could follow him. 278 00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:23,318 I mean, I saw that jawline. It's like granite. 279 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,885 Love this guy. 280 00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,669 PETE: Howdy, folks. 281 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,628 This will just take a minute.HETTY: Wh-What is this? 282 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,108 Isaac and I were in the middle of a riveting debate on scarves. 283 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:34,416 You got this, Pete. Just like we practiced. 284 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,592 [exhales] Listen up, ghosts. 285 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,638 I have spent the last 40 years 286 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,465 bending over backwards to compromise 287 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,685 for the sake of house harmony, 288 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,687 but I'm here to tell you I'm done. 289 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:47,951 I've had it up to my arrow with all of your applesauce. 290 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,344 It's time for Pete 291 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:50,650 to finally get what he wants. 292 00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:51,955 NANCY: And he wants 293 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,218 a mold-free room, so one of you 294 00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:57,395 is making way for Pete and his girl. 295 00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:00,311 If that's amenable to everyone. 296 00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,052 Or even if it's not. 297 00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:03,401 NANCY: Yeah.PETE: Also, 298 00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:04,489 I will no longer be the caboose 299 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:05,708 on the massage train. 300 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,450 I lead it now. I'm the engine. 301 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:09,669 NANCY: [laughs] You hear that? 302 00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:12,280 Let's go.All right. 303 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:17,764 Well, the moment we all feared has arrived. 304 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:20,505 Pete's developed a spine.HETTY: This is 305 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,594 an unfortunate turn of events. 306 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,031 What are y'all talking about? 307 00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,380 Pete's finally sticking up for himself, 308 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,642 and you think that's a bad thing? 309 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,730 Need I remind you what it was like 310 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,253 before that saint of a man 311 00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,038 was felled by a little girl's arrow? 312 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,388 No one compromised on anything around here. 313 00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,563 Isaac is right. 314 00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:36,347 Pete's spinelessness is 315 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:39,350 the grease that keeps the wheels of our little world turning. 316 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,570 We had people like Pete in Viking society. 317 00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,441 We sacrificed them, 318 00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:47,054 then gave their blood to please our gods and prevent famine. 319 00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:50,231 They were respected. Dead but respected. 320 00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,536 ALBERTA:Well, 321 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,103 I like this new Pete. 322 00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,975 He's got gumption. 323 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,325 And maybe the answer isn't him going back to the way he was. 324 00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,414 Maybe the answer is all of us 325 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:02,983 actually learning to compromise for once. 326 00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,551 There's got to be a better way.[laughs] That's not happening. 327 00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,118 [footsteps approaching] 328 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,641 SAMANTHA: Hey, 329 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,208 Bela, what's wrong? 330 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:14,646 Turns out Trevor's a lying piece of trash. 331 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,213 He told me he's moving to Newfoundland, 332 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,780 which sounds made-up. 333 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,782 I told you, we should have gone with Mykonos. 334 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,393 It could be real.Mm, yeah. He could've moved there. 335 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,526 Although, obviously, 336 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:28,182 it's too far and cold to visit or follow someone to. 337 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,792 Mm, something's off. 338 00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,446 I'm looking this asshat up. 339 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,361 See if he's even who he says he is. 340 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:36,146 You don't know his last name. How could you even do that? 341 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,582 Oh, I just do a reverse image search 342 00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,410 with his profile photo.JAY: Oh. 343 00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,499 That's so cool that you can do that. 344 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,503 BELA: This picture's from an obituary, 345 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:47,941 and the guy died 20 years ago. 346 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,899 It's the only picture of me on the Internet.BELA: Oh, my God. 347 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,640 Do you know what this means? 348 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,729 I got catfished. 349 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,817 No.What? 350 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,079 This is messed-up. 351 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:57,341 He is not getting away with this. 352 00:12:57,385 --> 00:13:00,083 "Hey, doucher, I know you're not real. 353 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,870 And BT dubs, catfishing is so ten years ago."[message sends] 354 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,523 [iPad chimes]"Who are you? 355 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,264 Some thousand-year-old virgin?"[message sends] 356 00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,396 [iPad chimes] 357 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,836 Bela, wait.[keys clacking] 358 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,925 [message sends][iPad chimes] 359 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,973 Why does that sound keep coming from your iPad? 360 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,931 Great question. Why don't you hand it over, 361 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,193 and I'll take it to the Genius Bar. 362 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,891 Unlock the iPad, Jay. 363 00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,894 I would, but I-I forgot the passcode.Well, luckily, 364 00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:30,418 it's been the same since junior high. 1234. 365 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:32,855 [exhales] 366 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,251 You'reTrevor? 367 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,998 Okay, I am freaking out right now. 368 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,303 Bela, it's not what it looks like. 369 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,957 We just invited you up to the house 370 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,872 because we wanted to cheer you up. 371 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,657 You thought creating Trevor would cheer me up? 372 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,224 Ew. No.Oh, no. 373 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,052 You didn't think I could find a real man again, 374 00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,359 so you created a fake one to flirt with me 375 00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,752 and compliment my smile.I really meant that. 376 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,233 BELA:And you made up a guy that is exactly 377 00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,495 everything I'm looking for. 378 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:06,280 Someone who loves clubbing 379 00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:07,759 and the Hamptons 380 00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,718 and jam bands from the late '90s. 381 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,459 We're freaking meant for each other. 382 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,634 That's not what happened. 383 00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,897 Then what did happen?I... 384 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,552 don't have a good explanation. 385 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,683 You guys are sick. 386 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,729 I'm packing my bags and leaving. 387 00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,602 I mean, we sexted. 388 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,126 Ugh! 389 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,911 I didn't know it had a name. 390 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,434 [shudders] 391 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:33,263 That's Hetty, Alberta, oh, and me. 392 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,396 Three against one, Thor, you must give up your room 393 00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,093 to Pete and the filthy one. 394 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,574 Mm-mm. Thor not moving. 395 00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,010 But we voted. 396 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,708 Thor not believe in democracy.ISAAC: Oh, 397 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,537 how convenient.Fine. I change my vote to Isaac. 398 00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,496 Me, too.Weasels! 399 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:49,758 All of you. 400 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,368 They're hurting each other's feelings. 401 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,022 I have to put a stop to this.[overlapping arguing] 402 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,632 Oh, here we go.THORFINN: Out of my room! 403 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,331 Spineless Pete worming his way back to the surface. 404 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,942 Do you want to know why I compromise, Nancy? 405 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,465 Yeah.I'm modeling 406 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,163 for these people. Yes, 407 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,643 it's been 40 years, and, yes, they're not exactly picking up 408 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,907 what I'm laying down, but I believe in them. 409 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,691 They have good in them. 410 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,911 [sighs] And eventually they're gonna get there. 411 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,651 And until that time, 412 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,653 I'm gonna keep setting an example. 413 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,266 That's BS. You're just scared of someone not liking you. 414 00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,963 Oh, yeah? 415 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,617 Yeah, you wimp. 416 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:23,835 That is enough! 417 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,315 ...powder off your wig. 418 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:27,361 I cannot take one more minute of your bullying! 419 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,885 You want me to stand up for myself and have a spine? 420 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,714 Well, here we go! It is over between us. 421 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:35,238 I am done listening to you. 422 00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:36,631 So if you have something you want to say to everyone, 423 00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:38,894 you just go ahead and say it.Fine! 424 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,375 [sighs] 425 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,380 I'm going back down to the basement 426 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,859 'cause I just broke up 427 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,514 with my very real boyfriend 428 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:53,517 and, also, 'cause you all suck, 429 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:57,217 and I'd rather be with the cholera pit people. Huh. 430 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,263 [whispers]: Proud of you, Petey. 431 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,007 [exhales, sniffs] Now, you listen up good. 432 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,704 I'm taking the moldy room, 433 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:09,011 and I don't want to hear another word about it. 434 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:14,016 Yeah. That's what I thought. 435 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,801 Does that mean she's single now? 436 00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:18,890 JAY: Bela. 437 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,066 I have nothing to say to you two. 438 00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,415 No, no, you have to trust 439 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,938 that we weren't trying to hurt you. 440 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,374 It doesn't matter what you were trying to do. 441 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,811 You thought I was so pathetic that the best way 442 00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:29,292 to help me was to concoct some giant lie. 443 00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,688 I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you. 444 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,692 It was a ghost.What? 445 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:40,129 Babe, are you sure about this?Look, I know 446 00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,870 that this is gonna sound crazy, 447 00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,003 but if it has any chance of salvaging this relationship, 448 00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,439 I have to come clean. 449 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,572 A few months ago, I fell down the stairs 450 00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:51,401 and I went into a coma. Thank you for the flowers, by the way. 451 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,621 And when I woke up, I could see ghosts. 452 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,450 Trevor died in this house 20 years ago. 453 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,756 And he doesn't wear pants, which may not seem relevant, 454 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,932 but it's something I have to know, and now you do, too. 455 00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,499 SAMANTHA: Anyhow, somehow, 456 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,197 he managed to create a dating profile, 457 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,069 and th-the important part of the story is, I see ghosts. 458 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,766 And besides Jay, 459 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,290 you're the only person I've ever told. 460 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,466 I know this must be 461 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:15,077 difficult to believe, but I sincerely hope you do. 462 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,513 Honestly, Sam, 463 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,211 get help. 464 00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:22,258 JAY: Bela. 465 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,782 Bela, hold up. 466 00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:27,046 Look, I'm not crazy, 467 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,177 or-or at least I'm not lying. 468 00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,136 And I can prove it. Thor, lights. 469 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,354 Sam, chair! 470 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,095 No, get the lights. 471 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,618 Oh, right, yes. 472 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,229 [grunts] 473 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,841 What was that? 474 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,451 Alberta, hum us a tune. 475 00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:42,626 Oh, finally. 476 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:45,107 [humming melody] 477 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,891 [humming echoing] 478 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:52,288 Okay, that's a trick. Secret switches, speakers. 479 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,595 Isaac?Hmm? What? Oh, uh, you know what? 480 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,249 No, I'll pass. Thank you.SAMANTHA: Isaac, 481 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,077 please.Fine. 482 00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,819 [Isaac grunts] 483 00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,474 Oh! That is nasty. 484 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,346 Okay, it's no picnic for me, either.BELA: Okay, 485 00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,782 what is happening? 486 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,218 You just met some of the ghosts. 487 00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:12,352 I can tell you what's in your bag. Pete. 488 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,617 PETE: We got a pair of hiking boots.SAMANTHA: A pair 489 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,923 of hiking boots. A beanie. 490 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,708 PETE: Three unread back issues 491 00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,057 of The New Yorker.SAMANTHA: Three unread back issues 492 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,667 of The New Yorker. And-- I'm just saying this 493 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,408 to prove a point-- a personal massager. 494 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,976 Oh, why you got to tell me that? 495 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,717 How many fingers am I holding up? 496 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,634 Three. 497 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,766 Holy crap. 498 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,073 You can see ghosts? 499 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,467 What is personal massager? 500 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:46,125 BELA: So, ghosts don't eat, 501 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,169 but they sleep? 502 00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:48,388 And they don't go to the bathroom? 503 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,651 Then what about... you know? 504 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,479 Yeah, surprisingly, that one's a yes. 505 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,089 BELA: Wow. And, like, 506 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,960 could a ghost do it with a human? 507 00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,962 [gasps] No. You know what? I'm not there yet. 508 00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,313 Please don't tell anyone about this, Bela. 509 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,618 Your secret's safe with me. 510 00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,098 Hey, 511 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,753 am I really the only one you've told besides Jay? 512 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,233 Yeah.BELA: Wow, 513 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,757 I can't believe that. That really means a lot. 514 00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,760 Kind of makes me feel really close to you. [chuckles softly] 515 00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:13,804 Is that stupid? 516 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,328 No, I don't think that's stupid. 517 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,199 You know, I always kind of wanted a sister. 518 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,375 Instead, all I got was this dork. 519 00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,464 She made me wear a dress till I was five. 520 00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:22,900 Did you say "sister"? 521 00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:24,772 Yeah, don't be an idiot about it. 522 00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:27,731 Don't yoube an idiot about it.[laughs]: Okay. 523 00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:29,385 Jay, I'm doing sister banter. 524 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:30,691 [chuckles]Nice work, babe. 525 00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,867 TREVOR: I'd like to say goodbye 526 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347 to Bela if I could. 527 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,305 I don't think anybody wants to hear from you. 528 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:37,915 What?JAY: Oh, it's a ghost thing. 529 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,308 You'll get used to it pretty fast. 530 00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,223 Trevor's here. He wants a word. 531 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,530 It's okay. I'm willing to hear him out. 532 00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:44,792 SAMANTHA: Really? 533 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:46,228 Fine. 534 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,708 JAY: Okay, this is gonna be awkward for me, 535 00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:49,057 so I'm gonna leave the three of you to it. 536 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,277 Or however many of you there are. 537 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,236 Okay, Trevor, this better be good. 538 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,195 Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you. 539 00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,414 "Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you." 540 00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:01,200 TREVOR: But the connection that we had, that wasn't a lie. 541 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,593 I meant every word that I said. 542 00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:06,205 "I do love your eyes 543 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:07,945 and your smile." 544 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,251 And your boobs. 545 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,211 You forgot the boobs.SAMANTHA: Nope. 546 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,603 Just keep going. 547 00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,780 I talk a big game, 548 00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,434 but the truth is, 549 00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:21,089 I really did want to find someone to spend my life with, 550 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:23,352 and I didn't. 551 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:26,181 Life is way too short. 552 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,878 I used to think that was 553 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:30,229 a dumb thing that people said, but it's really true. 554 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:34,711 Go find yourself someone who's as incredible as you. 555 00:20:36,496 --> 00:20:38,280 Because that's what you deserve. 556 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,151 "Because that's what you deserve." 557 00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:42,763 Thank you, Trevor. 558 00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:44,286 Also, please send nudes. 559 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,461 And we're done.