1 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,641 Let's go, Sam! We don't have all day! 2 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:11,511 Okay, you literally have eternity. 3 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:11,511 Oh, that's right. 4 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,714 Thank you for reminding me of my endless purgatory. 5 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,549 (door closes) 6 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,549 MARK: Morning, Sam. 7 00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:19,085 Oh. Hey! Who's this cute little guy? 8 00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:20,720 This is my son David. Uh, hope it's okay. 9 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,222 My wife's out of town for a few days. 10 00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:25,358 Ugh. Why are the good ones always married? 11 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,493 And alive? 12 00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:28,027 Hurtful. 13 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,396 Well, we're very happy to have you, David. 14 00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:30,497 Welcome to the team. 15 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:31,664 Should I put him on my crew? 16 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:33,066 Think he's too young to hold a hammer? 17 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,467 Are you mad? Children under seven 18 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,035 aren't suitable for hard labor. 19 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,036 Pirate! 20 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:38,104 (gasps) Pirate? 21 00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:41,040 I was a delegate of the Second Continental Congress. 22 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,477 Pirate! 23 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,477 Damn my ruffled colonial garb. 24 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,212 Uh, there's nothing there, buddy, 25 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,614 but I love your imagination. 26 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,048 And he's off. 27 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,383 (squeals) 28 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,452 Hang on, that kid can see you? 29 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,220 Yeah, it's rare. But, occasionally, 30 00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:55,789 young children can see ghosts. 31 00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:58,091 Sometimes, when child has imaginary friend, 32 00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,259 is actual ghost. 33 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,094 Other times, kid just crazy. 34 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:03,129 (chuckles) Once, a sweet little girl saw my arrow 35 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,330 and called me a monster. (chuckles) 36 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,532 Oh. 37 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,532 But it's okay. 38 00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:06,399 What am I gonna do? (chuckles) 39 00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,134 Cry myself to sleep? 40 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,135 For weeks? 41 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,537 Got him. 42 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,537 Oh, great. 43 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:11,771 Well, we'll be back soon. 44 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:13,072 We're just gonna take a quick walk. 45 00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:14,541 We? 46 00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:14,541 Yes. 47 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,242 As in the royal we. 48 00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:17,410 Here we go, 49 00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:20,480 and we are going outside. 50 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,350 (scoffs) 51 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,786 ♪ ♪ 52 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,791 How many of those steps did we get today, Sam? 53 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:32,959 Only 3,000. 54 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,161 Not pointing any fingers, but Hetty was really dragging. 55 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:37,430 Well, excuse me for dying in heels. 56 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:40,300 Plus, I did not sleep. You know I suffer from nerves. 57 00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:42,202 At least when I was alive, I could take laudanum. 58 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:43,536 What's laudanum? 59 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,472 It's a simple mixture of alcohol and morphine. 60 00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,240 You should try it, Samantha. 61 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,342 Oh, sure, I'll pick some up next time I'm at the alchemist. 62 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:52,412 Well, I didn't always require such elixirs. 63 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:53,880 When I was a little girl, 64 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,417 an angel-voiced servant would sing me to sleep. 65 00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:58,718 Some footman or butler. 66 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,320 His name was Gordon. 67 00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:01,621 I was there, as ghost. 68 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,424 I think you're right. It may have been Gordon. 69 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:05,725 I don't know. We paid them 70 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:06,893 so we didn't have to remember their names. 71 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,760 Hey! 72 00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:10,263 There's a strange jalopy in the driveway. 73 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,264 Who's that? 74 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:12,265 Land ship! 75 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,399 All right. 76 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,834 We know, baby. 77 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,834 (sighs) 78 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,669 We know. 79 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:19,539 (door closes) 80 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:19,539 Hey, Sam. 81 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:20,874 This is Todd Pearlman, 82 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:23,409 and he's, uh... he's some kind of historian. 83 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,844 Historian? 84 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:28,348 Well, I think we know where this is going. 85 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,817 Welcome, Todd. What brings you to our house? 86 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,486 Uh, have you ever heard of Alberta Haynes? 87 00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,321 What? 88 00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,321 Step aside, Isaac. 89 00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,290 The name rings a bell. 90 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,291 Alberta Haynes was a singer, 91 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:39,692 a wonderful singer. 92 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,628 (chuckles) Tell us something we don't know. 93 00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:42,729 Believe it or not, 94 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:44,497 she died right here in this house. 95 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,366 Someone died in this house? 96 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:47,467 I'm shocked. 97 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:48,535 TODD: I'm actually writing a book 98 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,570 on Alberta's life and career. 99 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,639 What? A book about me? 100 00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:54,507 Did you hear that, Isaac? 101 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:55,742 Well, come on in and sit down. 102 00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,677 Oh, sorry for the mess. 103 00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:58,878 We're in the middle of turning the house 104 00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:00,246 into a bed-and-breakfast. 105 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,415 Sam, stay on topic. Me. 106 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:05,652 So, uh, you study singers? 107 00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:06,920 Jazz musicians, yes. 108 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,188 But Alberta is my specialty. 109 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:12,559 I'm actually the head curator of the Alberta Haynes Museum 110 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,260 in Altoona, Pennsylvania. 111 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,563 Wow, there's a whole museum about you, Alberta. 112 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,563 Oh! 113 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,498 Died. I just died again. 114 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,968 Who's the nerd? 115 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,968 He is historian who's not here to study Isaac. 116 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:22,769 Thank you, Thor! 117 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:24,938 Her life story is an inspiration. 118 00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:27,740 I mean, born in Tulsa to Jamaican parents... 119 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:28,875 Mm, tell it. 120 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,410 As a young woman, she came to Harlem 121 00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:31,611 during the Great Migration 122 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,279 with nothing but a dream in her heart 123 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,415 and a boatload of talent. 124 00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,850 Can we record this? Whip out that damn iPhone, Sam. 125 00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,453 Oh, she sounds like an incredible person. 126 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,721 Sam, ask him about my murder. 127 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,423 Oh, no, not this again. 128 00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,391 How exactly did Alberta die? 129 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,895 Oh, her death is hotly debated amongst academics. 130 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,564 I mean, the official cause was a cardiac event, 131 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,900 but, between you and me, 132 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,702 I've always suspected foul play. 133 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:56,936 (Alberta laughs) 134 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:57,870 I told you all I was too important 135 00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,439 to die of a heart attack. 136 00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:00,740 Well, if you're excited about being murdered, 137 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:01,941 I am excited for you. 138 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,543 Who would want to kill her? 139 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,711 Mm, it's hard to say. 140 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,446 I mean, someone as... 141 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,847 beautiful and as talented 142 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,549 as Alberta... 143 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,549 Oh. 144 00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,451 ...would attract many rivals. 145 00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:12,652 Genius. Mwah! 146 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:13,653 This man is a genius. 147 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,321 Oh, Sam, tell Todd 148 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:17,890 my old trunk's upstairs if he wants to look at it. 149 00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:20,727 You know, I-I just remembered something. 150 00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:21,995 Upstairs, 151 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:23,963 there's this trunk. It's full of stuff 152 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,898 that seems like it's from the '20s. 153 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,734 So maybe that could belong 154 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,802 to this Alberta person. 155 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,802 (Alberta cackles) 156 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,738 "This Alberta person"? 157 00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:33,473 Girl, like we ain't besties. 158 00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:34,507 (chuckles) 159 00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,342 Ooh, you so good. 160 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,744 (birds chirping) 161 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,412 TODD: Wow. 162 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,680 Sheet music, letters, 163 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,448 moonshine, a mink scarf. 164 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:43,683 PETE: That is 165 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,451 a handsome trunk. 166 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,451 (chuckles) 167 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:46,653 Handsome and heavy. 168 00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:47,887 I remember lugging that thing over 169 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,622 from the motel the night I performed. 170 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,724 You didn't stay here? 171 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,724 Oh, no, wasn't allowed, 172 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,359 'cause, you know, racism. 173 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,728 Ah. 174 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,728 Well, if it helps, I don't see color. 175 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,431 Literally. It cost me several games of Risk. 176 00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,732 (chuckles softly) 177 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,034 This is a treasure trove. 178 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,635 I'm gonna need a good amount of time 179 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:03,970 to get through these materials. 180 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,872 Well, uh, uh, take all the time you need, Todd. 181 00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:07,807 I don't want to impose, but... 182 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,643 would you consider allowing me to stay the night? 183 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,379 You said this place was a B&B, correct? 184 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,915 Well, yeah, but it's-it's not exactly open yet. (chuckles) 185 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,550 Well, I could be your first guest. 186 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,786 You know what, Todd, uh, the rooms, they're not really ready. 187 00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:21,421 Uh, we haven't even started picking out 188 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,689 those tiny little soaps. 189 00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:24,657 I don't need any of that fancy stuff. 190 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,926 I mean, this room is fine. 191 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:27,960 Wait, hold up. This is my room. 192 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,729 I can give you $500. 193 00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:33,332 BOTH: Welcome to the Woodstone Bed-and-Breakfast. 194 00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,736 THORFINN: Time for afternoon walk! 195 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,404 (chuckles) 196 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:40,673 Oh, hadn't you heard? Afternoon walk's been canceled. 197 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:41,841 Why? 198 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:41,841 Well, 199 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,410 apparently, this bearded historian fellow 200 00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:45,344 is spending the night. 201 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,780 Samantha and Alberta are busy tending to him. 202 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,683 Okay, so we go together. Just the two of us. 203 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:51,984 You and me? Alone? 204 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,620 Yes! 205 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,620 Yes, but th... 206 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,023 that wouldn't be the walking crew, now would it? 207 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,058 Give us a chance to catch up. We never talk. 208 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,627 Right. We never do. That is a true thing you're saying. 209 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,962 I am free, you are free. 210 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,597 We both love walking. 211 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:05,798 Also true statements. 212 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,433 So really no reason not to proceed. 213 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,402 Yes, I-I'm having trouble thinking of one. 214 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,403 Will be fun. 215 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,437 Okay! 216 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,437 Yes! 217 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:12,438 Let's go! 218 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:13,773 Together! 219 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:13,773 Oh, God. 220 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,576 (laughs) Friendship! 221 00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,644 We have a stranger in our house, 222 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,480 and-and I think it feels weird. 223 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,715 Jay, that's sort of what running a B&B is. 224 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:24,016 I mean, I understand it, theoretically. 225 00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:25,618 But now that-that it's happening, 226 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,819 it just-- it feels weird. 227 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,554 Well, I think it's gonna be fun. 228 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:29,922 It's a dry run. 229 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,557 This is a chance for us to prove to ourselves 230 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:32,592 we can do this. 231 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:33,559 You guys are gonna be great. 232 00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:34,861 The main thing is 233 00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,429 you want to get in good with the travel agents. 234 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,897 (sighs) 235 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,897 Little secret: we basically run 236 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,499 the whole hospitality game. 237 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,901 Pete, travel agents don't really exist anymore. 238 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,569 What? 239 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,569 Yeah, people just kind of book 240 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:44,837 their own travel now. 241 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:45,938 But they don't have the contacts, 242 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,740 the personal relationships. 243 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,109 They don't know who to fax. 244 00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:54,580 Hey. I didn't pack for an overnight, obviously. 245 00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:54,580 (exclaims, groaning) 246 00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:55,882 So, would I be able 247 00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:57,183 to borrow some pajamas? 248 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,185 Sure. Yeah. Jay can lend you 249 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,187 a T-shirt and some pajama bottoms. 250 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,755 What? 251 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,755 Cool. 252 00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:03,756 Oh, and, also, 253 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:04,924 if I don't eat soon... 254 00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:06,859 (exhales) we're gonna have a problem. 255 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,494 I-I'm hypoglycemic, 256 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,096 so it's kind of urgent. 257 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,165 We will definitely fix something up for you. 258 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,733 Thanks. 259 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,069 He wants to put his junk in my jam-jams? 260 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:18,771 Jay, this is running a B&B. 261 00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,807 This is what separates us from the hotels of the world. 262 00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:22,909 People expect a personal touch. 263 00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,811 Something personal's getting touched all right. 264 00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:27,980 Can you focus? What do we have that we can cook Todd? 265 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,549 There's nothing in the fridge. We got to go to the market. 266 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:32,718 We don't have time for that. Uh, just... 267 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,453 Here. 268 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,588 Cook him this. 269 00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,624 This chicken expires today. 270 00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,059 (groans) Those dates 271 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,028 are just to make you throw stuff away and buy more. 272 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,696 I wrote a whole article on this. 273 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,131 It's a scam by big chicken. 274 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,600 Big chicken? 275 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,600 Yeah. So stop acting like one 276 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:48,801 and just cook it. 277 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,237 Damn, girl. I love that wordplay. 278 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,839 Okay, there's weather in Chicago 279 00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:53,973 and you need a same-day change 280 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,474 to a plane ticket-- what do you do? 281 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,543 It's a button on your phone. I'm sorry, Pete. 282 00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:58,678 Jiminy. 283 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,479 (exhales sharply) 284 00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:04,483 You know, it sort of feel 285 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,152 like Thor doing all the work in conversation. 286 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,988 I tell seal story. I tell salmon story. 287 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,823 I tell other salmon story... 288 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,559 I'm gonna level with you, Thorfinn. 289 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,594 You and I, 290 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,595 we get along fine, 291 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:16,996 but we are not 292 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,898 "hang out alone together outside the group" type friends. 293 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,967 And that's okay. 294 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,103 But we used to be closer. 295 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,138 What are you talking about? 296 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,174 Nothing. (chuckles) 297 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:31,544 Nothing at all. Just... 298 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,112 return home in silence. 299 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,147 That is a good idea. (exhales) 300 00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,917 Sort of like salmon returning home 301 00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:40,119 to spawning ground in springtime. 302 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,188 Which reminds me of third salmon story. 303 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,023 Maybe we can walk a little faster. 304 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,826 There was a bear and a badger... 305 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,060 (inhales deeply) 306 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,596 (sighs) 307 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,999 Okay, that's, like, the fifth time he's sniffed your coat. 308 00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,066 Clearly, there's something off 309 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:55,768 about this fellow. 310 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:55,768 The man 311 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:56,836 is an academic. 312 00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,137 He's just looking for clues. 313 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:01,173 See, this is how you connect with history. 314 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,608 Hey, Todd, uh, we brought you 315 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:03,276 a fresh towel. 316 00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,011 And some regular-sized soap. 317 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,579 I'm so sorry about that. 318 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,648 Thank you for that delicious chicken. 319 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,949 Hmm. 320 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,949 Did you know 321 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,018 that Alberta's father was actually a chef, too? 322 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,252 Yeah, her family lived 323 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,087 above the restaurant he worked in. 324 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:17,189 Ah, Daddy could slay the stove. (chuckles) 325 00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,824 He should've had his own restaurant, 326 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,660 but, again, racism. 327 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,261 Thank you for letting me stay. It's... (sighs) 328 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,896 it's, like, a six-hour drive 329 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,197 back to Altoona. 330 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,197 What made you 331 00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,800 choose Altoona as the location for the museum? 332 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,035 Must be a new music city. 333 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,170 A 21st century New Orleans, no doubt. 334 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,672 (chuckles) 335 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,672 TODD: Well, uh, actually, 336 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,140 the museum is in my garage. 337 00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,775 ISAAC: Ah, as all 338 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:36,909 the best museums are. 339 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,978 Technically, it's... my mom's garage. 340 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,013 Oh, you live with your mom. 341 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,949 That makes sense. 342 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,949 ALBERTA: Well, academics 343 00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:44,884 are often underpaid. 344 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:45,885 (chuckles) Just wait 345 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:46,986 till his book comes out. 346 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,354 So when does your book come out? 347 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,990 Oh, it's planned for a summer release. 348 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:53,059 But, really, whenever. (chuckles) 349 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,894 That's the beauty of self-publishing. 350 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,095 Bro, that's not even a real book. 351 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,596 Come on, Todd. 352 00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:00,099 Hey, do you want to see something from my, uh... 353 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,901 personal Alberta collection? 354 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:02,902 Yes. 355 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,036 I carry it with me 356 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,805 everywhere. 357 00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:07,873 It's my most prized possession. 358 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,108 Oh, God, what is this gonna be? 359 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,043 Voilà. 360 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,079 Sorry, what am I looking at here, Todd? 361 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,247 It's Alberta's toenail. 362 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,684 Oh, hell no! Uh-uh! 363 00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:20,686 TREVOR: Out of my room. I want him out of my room. 364 00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:21,854 Why do you have that? 365 00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,189 What is wrong with you, Todd? 366 00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:25,624 I got it online. (breathes heavily) 367 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,793 Really nothing you can't get on there. (chuckles softly) 368 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,862 Still, why? 369 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,862 You know, 370 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,131 in Jurassic Park, when they clone all those dinosaurs 371 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,666 from just a little bit of blood? 372 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,235 Well, maybe I could, one day, 373 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:39,705 make an Alberta from just a little bit of nail. 374 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:41,107 Dare to dream, Todd. 375 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,709 Who knows? Maybe we'd end up together. 376 00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:44,377 No, we would not! 377 00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:46,712 Oh, God. The hell we would. 378 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:47,813 Well... (grunts) 379 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:48,814 Oh. 380 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:49,782 (grunts) 381 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:52,852 Time to hit the shower. 382 00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,687 (grunts, exhales) 383 00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:55,788 ALBERTA: Oh! 384 00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:56,956 My... God! 385 00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:59,725 Oh. (cries): No! 386 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,227 No. Oh, God. 387 00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,996 No. Oh, don't make me hate my own face. 388 00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:05,264 Todd, you creepy nut. 389 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:11,704 Well, look at it this way, from here on out, 390 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,672 all our other guests are gonna seem normal in comparison. 391 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,108 I don't think I can handle any other guests after Todd. 392 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,177 I mean, do you really think we're cut out for this? 393 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,245 Not with that attitude. 394 00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:20,713 Are you serious? 395 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,782 We turned our entire lives upside down, 396 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,251 and you want to bail after one difficult guest? 397 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:26,452 One difficult guest? 398 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,686 That's like saying Charles Manson 399 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:28,921 was one difficult neighbor. 400 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,790 Look, he's not dangerous. He's just weird. 401 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,958 And he's only gonna be here for another couple hours. 402 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,994 We need to find a better way to vet our guests. 403 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:38,097 Oh, like some sort of licensed go-between, perhaps? 404 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,398 Oh, if he could hear me, 405 00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,000 that would have been a powerful rejoinder. 406 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,134 (groans) 407 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,302 Sam, 408 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,271 I couldn't sleep a wink last night. 409 00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:47,740 Just haunted by my own face. 410 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,909 Oh, Alberta, I'm sorry. It's awful. 411 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,410 Nobody is happy about it. 412 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,378 Good morning, 413 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,813 everyone! 414 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,448 Greetings and salutations. (chuckles) 415 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:57,850 Almost nobody. 416 00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:58,651 Alberta, 417 00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,453 you're down here. I could've sworn 418 00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:02,154 I just saw you upstairs. 419 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,456 Ha-ha. I get it, Isaac. 420 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:07,226 No, I'm sorry, that was merely your visage 421 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,296 on a 35-year-old man's back. 422 00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:12,498 My mistake! (laughing) 423 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,500 I said I get it! 424 00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:16,735 You happy now? 425 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,306 (grunting softly) 426 00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,174 THORFINN: Shh, shh. 427 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,009 Nap time, little one. 428 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,044 (sighs) 429 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,312 Shh. 430 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,312 (yawning) 431 00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,781 Is okay. 432 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,317 ♪ Sweet little baby ♪ 433 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:33,752 ♪ Drift off to sleep ♪ 434 00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,788 ♪ Dream of stabbing Danish men ♪ 435 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,923 ♪ Laughing while they weep ♪ 436 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,825 ♪ When you are a warrior ♪ 437 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:41,894 ♪ You'll be strong and tall ♪ 438 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,062 ♪ You'll pillage ♪ 439 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,797 ♪ Villages, slit men's throats ♪ 440 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:45,898 ♪ And bash their heads ♪ 441 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:49,034 ♪ Against the wall. ♪ 442 00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,237 There you go, Hetty. 443 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,072 There you go. 444 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,074 Yes. 445 00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:56,308 There you go, 446 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,443 David. 447 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,545 Drift off into the Netherlands, 448 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,380 into the dream realms, 449 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,449 burning ships, 450 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,551 sieging villages. 451 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:13,893 Listen, uh, I was just having fun. 452 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,327 I apologize. 453 00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:17,496 I'm sorry. 454 00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:17,496 Yeah, well, I probably had it coming. 455 00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:21,267 (chuckles softly) Look, I know I wasn't famous in my day, 456 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,436 but when Todd showed up, for a second, I thought, 457 00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:28,841 "Wow, the world remembers Alberta Haynes." 458 00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,943 But the truth is, the only one who remembers me 459 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:34,246 is some creepy weirdo with a jar full of toenails. 460 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,382 Child, that's my legacy. 461 00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:40,019 To be fair, it was just the one toenail. 462 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:43,489 (chuckles) It's not just about Todd. 463 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,324 You know, my daddy couldn't achieve his dreams 464 00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:48,093 because the world held him back. 465 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,963 But he always told me I could. 466 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,498 That's why I wanted to be a star, 467 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,401 so that his struggle would have been worth it. 468 00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,070 I guess I failed him. 469 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,975 Hi. Uh, have you guys seen Sam? 470 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:04,843 It's Todd. I think he's dying. 471 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,111 (groaning) 472 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,313 (Samantha gasps) 473 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,313 JAY: Oh, my God. 474 00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:08,280 What is happening? 475 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,548 Did anybody see anything? 476 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,217 That-That's E. coli face. That's the chicken. 477 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,484 Can you not? Call 911. 478 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:13,852 PETE: What is he talking about? 479 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:14,987 The chicken? 480 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:14,987 Look, 481 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,088 we fed him some chicken that was... 482 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:17,356 at its expiration date. 483 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,391 Sam, those dates are on there for a reason. 484 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:21,360 Guys, he looks really sick. 485 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,529 If he dies, he could become a ghost, 486 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,131 and I'm not spending eternity with my stalker. 487 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,333 Yeah, and I'm not sharing a room with him. 488 00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:28,567 We're doing a rotation thing. 489 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,135 W-Wait. Okay, wait. 490 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,304 What percentage of people who die become ghosts? 491 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,939 It's actually fairly low. I would say, 492 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,541 mm, like, maybe five percent? 493 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,876 That's not that high. 494 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,876 Are you willing to take that risk, Sam? 495 00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,578 'Cause, remember, he's gonna become your problem, too. 496 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,447 What do we do? 497 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,447 We need to get him off the property. 498 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:43,549 Okay! I called an ambulance. They're on their way. 499 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,150 Jay, you're not gonna like this, 500 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,218 but we have to drag him off the property. 501 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:47,386 JAY: What? 502 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:47,386 Mm-hmm. 503 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,387 W-We cannot let him die here. 504 00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,622 He could become a ghost 505 00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,257 and we'd be stuck with him forever. 506 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:52,591 You mean invisible Todd, roaming the hallways, 507 00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,426 collecting everyone's toenails? I do not like that. 508 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:55,461 None of us do. 509 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:55,461 Okay, okay, okay, 510 00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:57,029 but-but how are the two of us 511 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,497 gonna carry him? 512 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,497 (Todd groans) 513 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,599 (clinking, clank) 514 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,369 (exhales) 515 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,369 (strained grunt) 516 00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:05,337 I did not sign up for this. 517 00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:05,337 (grunts) 518 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,606 I-I need a break. This is too hard. 519 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,441 Uh-uh! Come on! No breaks! 520 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:11,110 You'll sleep when you're dead. 521 00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:12,278 Why do we sleep? 522 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,612 We just do! 523 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,612 We just do! Let's go! 524 00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:15,547 Let's move this body. 525 00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:15,547 (vehicle approaching) 526 00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:17,650 Well, he's not technically a body yet. 527 00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:17,650 (siren whoops) 528 00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:20,319 (car doors open, shut) 529 00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:20,319 You're gonna be okay, Todd. The paramedics are here. 530 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,955 Hey. 531 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,955 Why is he out here? 532 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:24,189 You're not supposed to move him. 533 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,225 Sorry. We were just trying to help. 534 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:27,326 (groaning) 535 00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,661 JAY: You're gonna be fine, Todd. 536 00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:30,329 Ooh! 537 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,400 I really hope we didn't kill him. 538 00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:35,200 What? 539 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,201 Nothing. 540 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,403 (door shuts) 541 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,310 It was you. 542 00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:46,478 You sang to me. 543 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:49,448 Yes. Uh, tried to teach you to say "Thorfinn," 544 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:54,286 but eventually decide "Gordon" pretty cute. 545 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,356 All these years, 546 00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:58,991 why didn't you say something? 547 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:03,095 Well, I always assume, after you die, you remember me. 548 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:05,397 Excited to say hi, catch up, old times. 549 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:09,435 But instead it seem you more have terror 550 00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:13,639 of Thor and a lot of saying my pelts smell bad. 551 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,478 You were so sweet to me, 552 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,581 and I have just been awful. 553 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,649 Thor get it. 554 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,384 Pelts do smell. 555 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,754 Used to soak them in wolf urine to ward off bear. 556 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,524 You were there for me when no one else was. 557 00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:34,326 Thank you. 558 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:37,229 Gordon miss Hetty. 559 00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,765 Welcome back. 560 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,333 Mmm. 561 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,602 Oh. Yeah, that is quite pungent. 562 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,536 (sniffles) 563 00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:47,339 I just got off the phone with the hospital. 564 00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:48,540 He's gonna be okay. 565 00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:51,276 Oh, we didn't kill our first guest. 566 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,611 How 'bout those Livings, 567 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,314 trying to carry that creepy Todd out on that blanket? 568 00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:56,315 (laughing) 569 00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:56,315 PETE: Hey, hey, 570 00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:57,349 who-who am I? 571 00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,450 "Oh, no, this is too heavy. 572 00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,651 I need to take a nap." 573 00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:01,086 I didn't say that! 574 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,521 (laughing): Yes. 575 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,521 Yes, you did. 576 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,689 "Expiration dates are a hoax." 577 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,391 Oh, very funny. 578 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,526 Y'all, stop trying to make me laugh. I'm still upset. 579 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,361 Sam, be honest-- would it help my chances 580 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,163 if I got your face tattooed on my back? (laughs) 581 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,163 (laughs) 582 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,332 Please don't do that. (chuckles) 583 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,332 PETE: Ah. See? 584 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,367 This right here, this is what it's all about. 585 00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:16,702 These little moments. 586 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,037 These are the things we're all gonna remember. 587 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,472 (other groaning) 588 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,472 Shut up, Pete... 589 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,207 You ruined it. 590 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,207 Womp! 591 00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:23,442 (giggles) 592 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:24,810 What is going on? 593 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,613 Oh, the ghosts are throwing down some newfound wisdom. 594 00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,314 Oh, boy. Last time that happened, 595 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,749 our gazebo burned down. 596 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,051 They're saying the moments you really remember 597 00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:35,654 are the ones you spend with the people you love. 598 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,723 Look, running the B&B will be hard, 599 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,159 but at least we get to do it together. 600 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,527 Remember, when we were back in the city, 601 00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:44,296 we worked so many hours, we barely saw each other. 602 00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:46,465 I know. We're really lucky to get to do this. 603 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,300 And I'm sorry. I just... 604 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,202 I kind of freaked out a little. 605 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:51,303 Was it the toenail? 606 00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,605 It wasn't not the toenail. 607 00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,207 Right. 608 00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,207 (phone chimes, buzzes) 609 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,577 My buddy Neal just sent me a link. 610 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:01,246 Woodstone Mansion is blowing up. 611 00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:02,448 Currently? 612 00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:02,448 ALBERTA: Oh! 613 00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,615 Run for your lives! 614 00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,615 To the cholera pit! 615 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,217 It's the safest place! 616 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,217 (whimpering) 617 00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,485 Just relax, everybody. 618 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,086 That's an Internet term. 619 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,086 (pants, whimpers) 620 00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,455 It sometimes is a good thing. 621 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,623 Oh. Never mind. 622 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:15,461 Oh, please be a good thing. Please be a good thing. (sighs) 623 00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:17,663 Oh, my God, it's Todd. 624 00:18:17,729 --> 00:18:20,132 An exciting morning here at Hudson Valley Memorial, 625 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,801 where a visiting jazz historian nearly died 626 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:24,236 after being poisoned. 627 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:25,637 Can you tell us what happened? 628 00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:28,507 Well, I was staying at the Woodstone Bed-and-Breakfast... 629 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,709 Oh, no. 630 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,709 We're finished. 631 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,779 ...when I discovered a very old bottle of moonshine. 632 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:34,780 So I drank from it. 633 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,648 REPORTER: Why would you do that? 634 00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,116 TODD: I'm a curator and collector of all things 635 00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:40,486 relating to jazz legend Alberta Haynes, 636 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:41,854 and I have reason to believe 637 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,123 that she was the very last person to drink from it. 638 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,793 And I wanted to put my lips where hers had been. 639 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,328 Okay. 640 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:52,130 So it turns out the bottle had poison in it? 641 00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,399 Yes, I spoke to the doctors, and they informed me 642 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,701 they believe it was strychnine. 643 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:57,736 I've often assumed that Alberta was murdered 644 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,538 by a jealous rival. 645 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,538 (gasping) 646 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:00,806 And now I know I was probably right. 647 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,140 REPORTER: Back to you, Jerry. 648 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,140 (gasping) 649 00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:03,308 You know what this means? 650 00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:05,143 This means we didn't almost kill Todd. 651 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,578 Todd almost killed Todd. 652 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,313 You know what this also means? 653 00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,848 I was murdered. 654 00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:11,483 Oh, yeah, look at you. 655 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,751 Hey, babe? Babe, look at this. 656 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,853 This has, like, 50,000 views already. 657 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,421 W-Wait, 50,000? 658 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,156 What-what do you mean, "views"? 659 00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:19,758 What is views? Is that people? 660 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,693 Yeah. 661 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,693 Check out these comments. 662 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,562 A lot of "This guy's a creep," but, also, 663 00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,230 there's a ton of people just saying really nice things 664 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:27,766 about Alberta. 665 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:27,766 "Just listened to her album. 666 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,535 "She's incredible. 667 00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:31,503 How did I never hear of her before?" 668 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,374 Daddy would be proud. 669 00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:40,913 ♪ Because I'm famous! ♪ 670 00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:42,714 (laughs) Ooh! 671 00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:44,416 Look at them numbers going up! 672 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,851 55,000. 673 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,553 Ooh! 56,000! 674 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,322 Oh, child, I could watch this all day! 675 00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:51,957 Ooh, ooh, ooh. Sam, Sam, Sam. 676 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,793 What's the record? Is it me? 677 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:55,894 (laughs) 678 00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,329 Oh, God, Todd, I love you, 679 00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:58,764 you freaky bastard! 680 00:19:58,830 --> 00:19:59,865 You did it! 681 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,600 Ha-ha! 682 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,202 And she's back. 683 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,202 Mm-hmm. 684 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,202 Yeah! Alberta Haynes, honey! 685 00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:05,304 Ma Rainey who? 686 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,438 Billie Holiday where? 687 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:07,673 (laughing) 688 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:07,673 Buster Smith what? 689 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:11,209 It's about Alber-ta Haynes! 690 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,912 Ha-ha! (whoops) 691 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,752 ♪ Sweet little baby, drift off to sleep ♪ 692 00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:22,754 ♪ Dream of stabbing Danish men ♪ 693 00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:24,456 ♪ Laughing while they weep. ♪ 694 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:26,325 HETTY: No, it's creepy at this age. 695 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,628 THORFINN: Thor feel it, too. Very weird, yeah.