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00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,008
As I said on the phone,
I'm Spencer Magnussen Cooke,
2
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,271
the new editor of
the Ulster County Review.
3
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,012
Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Spencer.
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00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:14,405
So what happened to Lewis,
if you don't mind me asking?
5
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:15,972
Screen-sharing incident.
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,756
He's now in rehab
for porn addiction.
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00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:21,804
He, uh, wanted to spend more
time with his family.
8
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:25,068
Uh, now, let us talk
about your podcast.
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00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:26,287
- I love it.
- He hates it.
10
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Unfortunately,
for budgetary reasons,
11
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,507
we are canceling it.
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But we're in the middle
of the season.
13
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We haven't solved
Alberta's murder yet.
14
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Look, we don't want to leave
the fans hanging, so...
15
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:40,083
I am going to give you
one final episode
16
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,737
to wrap things up.
17
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But it has to be posted
by tomorrow.
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What? Why tomorrow?
19
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He's flexing his power,
he has a sad home life.
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Tax reasons, it's complicated.
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Okay, so I guess I have one day
to solve Alberta's murder.
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Thanks for coming in.
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He didn't wash his hands
after he went to the bathroom.
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♪ ♪
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FLOWER:
Hey, guys. What's going on?
26
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,633
I'm helping Pete
check his email.
27
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,026
Pete, you have email?
28
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I-I don't use it
to contact anyone.
29
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The creep factor for getting
an email from a dead person
30
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is unfortunately pretty high.
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Sure.
32
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,209
But if you sign up at
the Reader's Digest website,
33
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,298
they send you
a free joke every day.
34
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[chuckling]
Hey, hey, Flower, uh...
35
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:26,521
what did the buffalo say when he
dropped his kid off at school?
36
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"Don't get in any vans"?
37
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No. He-he said "bison."
38
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[chuckling]:
Get it? Like "Bye, son"?
39
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,225
So he just said bye?
40
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:37,184
Ah, jiminy. I guess it's
more of a written thing.
41
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,098
Here, just look.
42
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,491
[dinging]
Whoa, Pete,
43
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:41,666
you just got another email.
44
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,494
Bonus joke?
45
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Man, the good folks
at Reader's Digest
46
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:45,714
will just not rest.
47
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:46,715
No, it's from...
48
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,152
Prince Jones Dimka?
49
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:52,373
His eminency of
the Republic of Nigeria?
50
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,766
A prince, emailing me?
51
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:57,552
"Urgent matter,
open immediately."
52
00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,120
Easier said than done.
53
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[groaning] Ah.
54
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,693
"Dear Pete Martino,
it is with great urgency
55
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:12,480
that I write to you from
a penal colony on Snake Island."
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Oh, my God.
57
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This prince needs our help.
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This is the murder board.
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00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,272
This is what he's been
doing all day?
60
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,622
So, this took eight hours, Jay?
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00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,450
It took a long time
to find red string.
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Target was closed,
Michael's was all out.
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And, honestly, I kind of
just lost track of time
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in the Yarn Barn.
That place is amazing.
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Man, seeing all this laid out
in one place like this,
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really takes me back
to that night.
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I was invited to perform at
a party at Woodstone Mansion.
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It was New Year's Eve.
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♪ Let's do it,
let's fall in love ♪
70
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The joint was jumping. Ha-ha!
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Folks were getting zozzled.
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I was working the crowd
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and my bootlegger boyfriend
was haggling with the homeowner
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00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:03,139
over payment
for the night's booze.
75
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,837
Swinging party, Thomas.
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00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,623
Yes. Let's get you a drink.
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00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:11,626
Hetty, your son throw better
party than you used to.
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Oh, of course, everyone's
in the mood to celebrate.
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The stock market is roaring
and there's no end in sight.
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1929 is sure to be
the greatest year yet.
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00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,117
Mm. Woodstone driving
a hard bargain?
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00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,337
Yeah, he's trying to change
the terms of our arrangement.
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After tonight,
- I'm done with him.
- Mm.
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00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:32,168
You know what I'm done with?
85
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,126
These uncomfortable-ass shoes.
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[laughter]
87
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The price we pay
for fashion, Earl.
88
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:38,914
Oh, baby, it's just
for a few hours.
89
00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:39,915
And besides...
90
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:40,785
you look great.
91
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,526
Mm. How great?
92
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:43,875
So great.
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00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,225
[laughter]
94
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:48,184
- All right, here we go.
- Indeed.
95
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,751
Wouldn't mind
watching him go at it.
96
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,318
Them, I said them.
97
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,146
Sorry, baby, that'll have
to wait till later.
98
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,975
I got this one thing
to take care of,
99
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,281
but I'll see you
after the next set.
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[chuckles]
101
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,719
[sighs]
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00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,897
ALBERTA:
Mm. Putting on
those uncomfortable shoes
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00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,551
was my first mistake.
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00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,118
[knocking]
105
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,077
I was about to make my second.
106
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:15,211
Somebody had left me a present.
107
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,169
Hmm. "Good luck"?
108
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,954
[scoffs] I don't need luck.
109
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,217
But I do love booze.
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00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,263
[laughing]
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THORFINN:
So you just...
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drink alcohol even though
no idea who gave it to you?
113
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,792
And you just traipsed through
a field wearing a metal helmet
114
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,272
during a lightning storm?
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00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,056
What's your point, Thor?
We all got here somehow.
116
00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:37,668
So, we know that the bottle of
booze was laced with strychnine.
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00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,757
Now, let's go over
the murder suspects.
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00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:42,586
Theresa, Alberta's sister,
who was there that night
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00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,066
as a member
of Alberta's entourage.
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00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,633
The note that we found
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00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,809
in the bootlegged whiskey
in the wall says,
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00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:51,160
"My dearest Earl, I can't
wait for us to be together,
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00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,510
once we get rid
of you-know-who,"
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00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,947
signed "T." T for Theresa?
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00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,427
Could be.
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00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:58,950
We also know that shortly
after Alberta's death,
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Theresa started dating Earl.
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00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,171
Damning evidence
slash juicy gossip.
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00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,694
It can't have been Theresa.
130
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,392
There's no way my sister
would have done that.
131
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,350
I don't want to believe
it's true either,
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00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,005
but it would make a really
good end to the podcast.
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00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,746
Good for the podcast?
134
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,269
Purely from
a storytelling standpoint.
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00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,531
THORFINN:
Sam.
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00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,316
Looks like Jay
has something here.
137
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,274
Oh, Jay, did you come up
with something?
138
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,756
No, I just thought the murder
board was a little off balance.
139
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:22,757
Yeah.
140
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,150
That's better.
141
00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:27,805
So the prince wants us
to send him 1,000 bucks
142
00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,981
so he can bribe the guards,
get out of prison,
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00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:33,028
reclaim his fortune,
and then he'll pay us back?
144
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,377
Ooh, not just pay us back.
145
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,771
He's gonna give us $5,000
146
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,033
for helping him.
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00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,164
Yeah, but this
isn't about the money.
148
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,775
This is a guy who needs help.
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00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,342
And he reached out to me.
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00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:43,778
For some reason.
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00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:44,779
Should we tell Sam?
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00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,694
[chuckling]: No, no, no.
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00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,260
Since the whole
sexual possession
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00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,654
on Christmas "incident,"
I've been expressly banned
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00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:51,829
from using their computers.
156
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,483
You never told me that.
157
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,093
Now I'm an accessory.
And for what?
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00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:59,228
Wholesome jokes curated by the
funniest people in the world?
159
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,186
So we're not gonna
help the prince?
160
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:03,667
But he's the only one
who can rally the people
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00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,277
to take down
the military junta.
162
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,454
I know, but what can we do?
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00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,978
Well, we can't just leave
him hanging. That's rude.
164
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:12,328
Should we just email him back
to say we're sorry?
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Fine, okay.
166
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,680
He probably reached out
because he thinks
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00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,116
I'm still a living travel agent.
168
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:19,640
You know what people say.
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When in trouble,
call a travel agent.
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00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,556
I've never heard
anyone say that.
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00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,035
Oh, it's a saying.
172
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,647
Yeah, I've never heard that--It's a saying!
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00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,953
Okay, if it really
was the sister,
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00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,129
I think somebody might want
to make this into a movie.
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00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,610
Really? Do you think
they'd let me write it?
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00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:36,483
It wasn't my sister. We have
a board full of suspects.
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00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:38,659
We haven't even looked
into Clara yet.
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00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,574
All signs point to Clara.
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00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,053
Well, her name doesn't
start with a "T."
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00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,664
Well, many signs point to Clara.
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00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,841
We know that she hated me
because I ratted her out.
182
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,843
And we know she was there
that night.
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00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:52,107
And she was wearing
a very big hat...
184
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:56,546
HETTY:
Yes, because she was trying
to be inconspicuous.
185
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:59,157
Which is just what
a murderer would do.
186
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:02,639
Is a big hat inconspicuous
or like really conspicuous?
187
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,380
It is an interesting question.
188
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,514
More of a side trip,
but not one unworthy of taking.
189
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,777
But do you think Clara would
be mad enough to kill you?
190
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:11,996
I mean, you said she
only spent one night in jail.
191
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,999
Wait, she only spent one night
in jail? For bootlegging?
192
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,740
I thought that was
a major offense.
193
00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:17,828
Well, it should have been.
194
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,177
Alcohol is highly addictive,
195
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,527
with none of the productive
196
00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:22,006
or medicinal qualities
of cocaine.
197
00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:23,399
Now that you mention it,
198
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,792
I guess Clara did get off
sort of light.
199
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,402
I wonder if they cut her a deal.
200
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,230
Maybe that's why she was there.
201
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,666
We know there was
a bootlegging deal.
202
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,581
Maybe Clara was there
to drop a dime
203
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,105
on Alberta and Earl
to get revenge.
204
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,760
That would explain one kind of
weird detail about that night.
205
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,588
After Alberta's murder
was called in,
206
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,198
the police arrived
almost instantly.
207
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,591
So Clara was working
with the cops
208
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,637
to get you arrested.
Which means
209
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,160
she wasn't there to kill you.
210
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,988
Which means we're back
to Theresa.
211
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,380
Sorry, Alberta.
212
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,208
JAY:
You know what?
213
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,123
I have a friend
who works at CAA.
214
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,951
Maybe you want to talk to him
about this whole movie thing.
215
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,171
Really?
216
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,303
Although...
217
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,175
We don't know for sure yet.
218
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:01,437
But maybe do, like,
an e-introduction,
219
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,613
just to get the ball rolling.
220
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,837
Oh, come on,
there's got to be something
221
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:10,664
on this board
that points to someone
222
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:11,882
besides my sister!
223
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,362
Unfortunately, there
is a lot of yarn
224
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,798
pointing to your sister.
225
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,235
Next order of business:
murder weapon.
226
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,890
We know from Todd drinking the
booze and getting hospitalized
227
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,457
that Alberta was poisoned
with strychnine.
228
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,285
Where is that
bearded historian?
229
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,418
Shouldn't he be here,
as cohost of the podcast?
230
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,595
We're doing just fine without
Todd. Thank you, Isaac.
231
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:29,987
I did call Todd, but he said
232
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,511
he was on a Disney cruise
with his mom.
233
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:34,078
His mom's boyfriend Kyle
got a job as a Goofy.
234
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,732
I don't even want to know
what any of those words mean.
235
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,299
Hmm. Interesting.
236
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,128
Strychnine is the main
ingredient in rat poison.
237
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,347
They used to keep rat poison
in the basement here.
238
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:44,741
Wait, has anyone ever talked
to the basement ghosts
239
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,264
about what they saw that night?
240
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,875
I'll be honest.
241
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,921
I didn't know till very recently
that they could speak.
242
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,141
Hey, guys.
243
00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:54,534
Got another email
from the prince.
244
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,013
- What did he say?
- Is he mad at us?
245
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,320
No, he's not mad.
But he is worried.
246
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,409
Things have deteriorated
at the penal colony.
247
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,889
He seems very desperate.
248
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,412
And now he's
willing to pay us
249
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,284
50 grand if we wire him
the thousand.
250
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:07,938
Doesn't matter if he could
give us a million smackers,
251
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,679
we don't have access
to any money.
252
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:12,334
Well, that's not entirely true.
253
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,031
We could rob a bank.
254
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,990
Yes, Flower, we know.
You robbed a bank once.
255
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,295
Who told you? Was it Jan?
256
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,341
Was it Starburst?
257
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,952
No, what I'm saying is,
we don't have any money.
258
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,563
But Sam and Jay do.
259
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,042
And Jay uses the same password
for everything,
260
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,436
including his online
banking account.
261
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,264
Oh, come on, I don't know.
262
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,570
FLOWER:
I'm in.
263
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,745
Even though I've
never committed a crime
264
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,530
and I definitely
haven't robbed a bank.
265
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,532
We do this, everybody wins.
266
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,055
The prince is saved.
267
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,580
Sam and Jay get
a huge payday,
268
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,494
and we get all the credit.
269
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,018
Eh, I just...
270
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,802
Pete, someone's in trouble.
271
00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,284
Are you a travel agent
or aren't you?
272
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,113
Gosh darn it, let's do it.
273
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,636
[cheering]
274
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:54,594
You want to know what happened
275
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,987
some random night 100 years ago?
276
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,598
It wasn't a random night.
277
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,077
It was New Year's Eve, 1928.
278
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,775
It was also the night I died.
279
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,341
Does anybody remember
somebody suspicious
280
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:05,343
coming down and grabbing
some rat poison?
281
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:09,130
Hold on, rat poison?
Now that you mention it,
282
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,960
there was some guy
with a scar on his face.
283
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,309
Yeah, we notice when somebody
284
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,398
has something weird
on their face.
285
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,530
They said that there
was a guy who took rat poison,
286
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,097
he had a scar on his face.
287
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:22,404
Oh, you don't think that
they mean Al Capone, do you?
288
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:23,405
You know...
289
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,493
Scarface?
290
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,973
I mean, he was there that night.
291
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:27,539
Ooh, and I did reject him.
292
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,106
Was this the guy that
they're talking about?
293
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:30,673
Oops.
294
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:33,937
Uh, yeah, that's him.
295
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,591
You know, he did seem
kind of agitated.
296
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:36,766
Yeah, that's him.
297
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,812
He was right over there.
298
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:50,780
This'll teach Alberta
to facepalm me.
299
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,090
Alberta, how could you
not think to tell us
300
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,396
you rejected Al Capone
that night?
301
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:01,051
First of all, it was
a very light facepalm.
302
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,010
And secondly, old Al
was always hitting on me.
303
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,533
I didn't think anything of it.
304
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,015
Ooh, the famous
gangster Al Capone.
305
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,582
Now that is
a murderer worthy
306
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,541
of someone like you, Alberta.
307
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,325
Oh, fame-on-fame crime.
308
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:16,371
That is juicy.
309
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:19,635
Aw, congrats on your
high-profile murderer, Alberta.
310
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,463
I'm really happy for you.
311
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,900
FLOWER:
Oh, I can't wait
to tell Sam and Jay.
312
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,119
They're going to be
so happy with us.
313
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:27,121
The second the prince
transfers the money
314
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,600
back into the account,
we tell them.
315
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,254
I'm so excited.
316
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:31,429
I mean, this could be
international news, right?
317
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,954
A freed prince?
318
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,825
Morley Safer's gonna be
all over that.
319
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:37,131
That's actually a good idea.
320
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,828
I'm gonna google
"Nigerian prince"
321
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,264
and see if it's in the news.
322
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,831
You know, the word "hero"
gets thrown around
323
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,704
pretty casually these days, but
324
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,314
I think you're looking at
three of them right here.
325
00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:47,750
We are pretty great.
326
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,973
[groaning]
327
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,453
- You done yet?
- I got one letter.
328
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,238
[bird cawing]
329
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,979
Ah! Done.
330
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:01,111
Uh-oh.
331
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,809
What? Were we too late?
332
00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,158
Did they execute the prince?
333
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,202
I don't think there
was a prince.
334
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,508
What?
335
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:07,770
It's a scam.
336
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:10,033
And according to Google,
a very famous one.
337
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,731
PETE:
So, Sam and Jay's money?
338
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,428
I think that's gone.
339
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,604
PETE:Gone?
340
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,128
I feel so... dumb.
341
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:21,262
Okay, so he lied to us
about being a prince.
342
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:24,004
But at least we helped someone
get off of Snake Island.
343
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,962
And that's what's important.
344
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:29,618
I feel less dumb,
but still.
345
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,663
I mean, this is huge.
346
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,405
Al Capone killed
somebody in this house.
347
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,364
Do we put that
on the website?
348
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,061
So this guy was so upset about
Alberta turning him down
349
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,106
that he killed her?
350
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,238
That's what the facts say, Sass.
351
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,457
If he couldn't have me,
no one could.
352
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,241
Well, this is an
exciting conclusion
353
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,983
to this thrilling mystery.
354
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,680
Seems like we can
put this one to bed.
355
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,466
Well, it looks like you guys
have got yourself enough yarn
356
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,947
to knit a jumper
for Benjamin Franklin.
357
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,426
He was quite plump.
358
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:56,819
We're solving Alberta's murder.
359
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,168
We're under a strict deadline
360
00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,474
because no one found it
interesting enough
361
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:01,041
to sustain a podcast.
362
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,738
NIGEL:
Well, any leads?
363
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,610
It looks like it was
the famous gangster Al Capone.
364
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:06,611
Nigel just came in.
365
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,831
Oh, cheerio, guvnah.
366
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,965
Yes, that never gets old.
367
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:12,835
Pip, pip.
Bob's your uncle.
368
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:15,185
Wait a moment.
369
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:18,014
I've seen this man before.
370
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,676
What are you doing?
371
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,721
If I can't have Alberta,
372
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,027
I don't want to live.
373
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,507
THERESA:
Pull yourself together, Al.
374
00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:33,595
No dame's worth it.
375
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:34,988
What are you doing?
376
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,554
Getting rid of this.
377
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:37,773
Now go back to the party,
378
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,514
and stop acting
like a fool.
379
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,037
And pay your taxes,
380
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:43,518
that's gonna come
back to haunt you.
381
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,392
And then the woman stopped Al
Capone from killing himself.
382
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:51,831
Whoa. If Capone didn't
kill Alberta, then who did?
383
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,137
Maybe woman who took bottle did.
384
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,443
We know she had poison.
385
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,314
Was the woman
wearing a big hat
386
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,577
that was either conspicuous
or inconspicuous?
387
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,580
No, no interesting headwear
to speak of.
388
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,060
So then it wasn't Clara.
389
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,583
Then who was it?
390
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,977
Who was the woman who
had the poisoned bottle?
391
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:09,849
It was her.
392
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:10,850
[gasping]
393
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,200
Ah, it always feels good
394
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,376
to elicit a classic
Higgintoot gasp.
395
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:18,031
You're saying that my sister
really did kill me?
396
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:20,685
I can't believe this.
397
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,122
I'm so sorry, Alberta.
398
00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:23,993
She was my best friend.
399
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,432
I mean, I know we didn't
always get along, but...
400
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:31,218
I thought we at least
had each other's back.
401
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:34,786
But she killed me
to be with Earl.
402
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,964
Men would come and go,
but we always said
403
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,487
we would grow old together.
404
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,793
But apparently that
was all a lie.
405
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,840
And now I'm stuck with
this pain for eternity.
406
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,364
Your sister didn't kill you.
407
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,104
Yeah, I don't want
to believe it either,
408
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,976
but the facts are what they are.
409
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,978
No, I am saying your sister
didn't kill you
410
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,980
because I know who actually did.
411
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,548
I have always known.
412
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:59,768
Do we think Yarn Barn takes
returns on opened packages?
413
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,030
Jay.
414
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,558
Hetty, what are you
talking about?
415
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:08,559
She's saying she knows
who the killer is.
416
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:09,604
Mm. Was it the board?
417
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:10,822
Did the board get her there?
418
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,520
No. She's saying
she's always known.
419
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:13,782
Board did nothing for no one.
420
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,958
Uh, Hetty, I-I don't understand.
421
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,481
Uh, who did it
and how do you know?
422
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,353
Because I saw it all happen.
423
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,832
On the night of the party,
424
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,183
I was following
my son Thomas around...
425
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:26,838
...when your sister approached
him with the poisoned bottle.
426
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,710
She informed him
of the attempted suicide
427
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,017
and he took possession
of the poisoned moonshine.
428
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:33,541
But instead
of disposing of it...
429
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:36,370
he placed it outside
Alberta's dressing room,
430
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:40,330
knocked on the door,
and slipped away.
431
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,681
Your killer was my son Thomas.
432
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:44,900
But why would he want
to kill me?
433
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,902
I-I didn't even know the man.
434
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,383
Actually much harder to kill
a person you know.
435
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,211
Sometimes not even fun.
436
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,430
Well, You may not have known
the man, b-but he knew your man.
437
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:55,824
The note?
438
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,782
That "T" stands for Thomas.
439
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,656
My son and your bootlegger
boyfriend were lovers.
440
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,615
I mean, it's not
not juicy.
441
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,661
So you're saying your son
was having an affair with Earl
442
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,358
and that's why
he killed Alberta?
443
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,839
Whose son? There's no
son on the board.
444
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,101
Wait, so you're saying...
445
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:14,190
Earl was two-timing me
with Thomas?
446
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,757
HETTY:
Do you remember the fight,
447
00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,064
the one that you thought was a
dispute over a bootlegging deal?
448
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,543
Well, that's not what
it was about.
449
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:24,200
Thomas was upset
that Earl would not
450
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,811
break things off
with you as he had promised.
451
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:29,423
Instead, that night Earl
broke things off with Thomas.
452
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:33,253
That rhyme.
Promise, Thomas. [chuckles]
453
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,907
Not most important thing right
now but still noteworthy.
454
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,823
While still reeling,
someone handed my son
455
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,477
a bottle of poisoned booze.
456
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:41,696
He was spurned,
457
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,089
he was heartbroken,
458
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,612
and he lashed out
at the woman he blamed
459
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,875
for his unhappiness, you.
460
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,356
Hetty, you've known this this
whole time and never told me?
461
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:52,098
Yes, I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry, Alberta.
462
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:56,145
No, I'm sorry. Sorry I ever
considered you to be a friend.
463
00:16:58,321 --> 00:16:59,409
I know it's not the time,
464
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,237
but I always thought
that Thomas was gay
465
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,500
so I do consider this
a personal victory.
466
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:06,503
Again, acknowledged,
not the time.
467
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:07,765
But very vindicating.
468
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,550
TREVOR:
Sam, we're sorry.
469
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,681
You sent a scammer
470
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,292
$1,000 of our money?
471
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:13,728
PETE:
Well, we'll make it up
to you, somehow.
472
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,164
We could rob a bank.
473
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,079
I'm admitting it now.
I've done it.
474
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,254
It's not that hard.
475
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,777
TREVOR: I don't want
to point fingers,
476
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,170
but it all started
with Pete begging me
477
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:23,042
- to set him up an email account.
- Oh, come on.
478
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,086
He's addicted to gentle comedy.
479
00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:25,783
- The man's got a problem.
- Busted.
480
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,611
You guys are idiots.
481
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,439
Wait, what's happening?
482
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,311
I got a fraud alert
on my phone an hour ago.
483
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,790
I cancelled the transfer.
484
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,314
So we didn't lose
any of your money?
485
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:35,967
No. But...
486
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,882
And I can't believe
I have to keep saying this,
487
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,449
stop using the computer
488
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,798
and never go into
our bank accounts.
489
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,452
PETE:
Absolutely.
490
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,975
I'm done with
Reader's Digest.
491
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,368
I'll get my zingers elsewhere.
492
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,631
Look, don't beat
yourselves up too much.
493
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,851
A lot of people do fall
for these computer scams.
494
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,505
Usually they're
older people,
495
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:54,116
but I guess you guys
are old, in a way.
496
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,554
T-Money isn't old.
You take that back.
497
00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:58,686
You seen these thighs?
498
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,427
33 forever, babe.
499
00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,516
Yeah, we've both
got great thighs.
500
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,865
Couple of thigh guys.
501
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,258
- Shut up, Pete.
- Right.
502
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,869
Alberta.
503
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,392
I don't have anything
to say to you, Hetty.
504
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:10,698
Look...
505
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,830
first you were just
an acquaintance,
506
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,397
whom my son had murdered.
507
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,356
And then later you became
a dear, dear friend...
508
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:17,748
[exhales shakily]
509
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,707
whom my son had murdered.
510
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,622
Oh.
511
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:24,538
There just never seemed to be
the right time to bring it up.
512
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,583
Is this you trying to apologize?
513
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:29,108
Because I got to tell you,
you're very bad at this.
514
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,197
SASAPPIS:
What did she say?
515
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,155
Can't really hear anything.
516
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,287
You got to move in closer.
517
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:36,724
Idiots, your heads
are through the wall.
518
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:40,031
Oh. [chuckles]
Okay if we stay?
519
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:40,771
No.
520
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:43,818
Okay.
Sorry.
521
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:45,515
[sighs]
The thing is, Alberta,
522
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,692
I was ashamed
to have raised a man
523
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,781
that would do that to you.
524
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,914
So you just say this and you
think it makes it all better?
525
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,960
Do you know how painful
it's been
526
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:59,181
not knowing how I died
for the last 100 years?
527
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,270
No. No, I don't.
528
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,793
And I knew that telling you
529
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:04,317
might-might fracture
our friendship.
530
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,579
Perhaps irreparably.
531
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,884
Then why'd you tell me?
532
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,364
I couldn't let you
go on thinking
533
00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,061
that your sister had
betrayed you like that.
534
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,501
Well, I'm glad my sister
didn't betray me.
535
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,633
But the person who's
come to be like one did.
536
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,026
And I don't know
537
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,115
if I'll ever get over that.
538
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,596
So you're saying you
don't forgive me.
539
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:24,206
That's right.
540
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:25,642
NIGEL:
What did she say?
541
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:28,558
I don't know, I couldn't
quite make it out.
542
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,169
NIGEL:
I fear you're through the door.
543
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,300
Hmm?
544
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,433
Oh, yes,
545
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,870
I can see them.
They're staring at me.
546
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,177
They do not seem pleased.
547
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:44,705
TREVOR:
Who cares if Sam called us old?
548
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:46,228
I mean, maybe it's
the best of both worlds.
549
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,840
We get to be old, but we
still look young and hot.
550
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,625
A couple of young thigh guys.
551
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,018
Hey, should we get a rack
for these four guns?
552
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,107
Guns are arms. You know what?
Just stop comparing our limbs.
553
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,718
Trevor's right.
554
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,633
I mean, yeah,
maybe we got tricked,
555
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:02,026
but it didn't even
end up costing us.
556
00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:03,767
And we learned a valuable
lesson, you know?
557
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,291
If something seems too good
to be true,
558
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,683
it probably is.
559
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,250
Exactly.
We're not gonna fall
560
00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:10,339
for one of those scams again.
561
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,298
Because unlike
actual old people,
562
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,777
we still got our wits
about us.
563
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:15,475
Hey, look.
564
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,216
It's that guy
from that old TV show.
565
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:18,956
He's doing commercials now?
566
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:21,176
TV ANNOUNCER: Unlock the power
of a reverse mortgage.
567
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,222
What's a reverse mortgage?
568
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,919
TV ANNOUNCER:
You get the cash you need now
569
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,356
and you get to stay
in the home you love.
570
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,140
Hold up, they pay you
for your house
571
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,968
but you get to keep it?
572
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:33,623
Uh, sign me up.
573
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,103
You know who we
should sign up?
574
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,974
ALL:
Sam and Jay!
575
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:38,237
[laughter]
576
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,542
They're gonna love this.
577
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,116
Captioning sponsored by CBS
578
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,162
and TOYOTA.
579
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:55,254
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org