1
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,508
Well, as you can see
in this brochure,
2
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,577
there are a lot
of benefits.
3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,379
Samantha, we must speak
to you right away.
4
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:12,846
She is with a guest,
5
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,748
trying to sucker him into
joining something called
6
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,918
the "Woodstone
Rewards Program."
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,353
If you sign up now,
8
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,021
you can start earning rewards
during this stay.
9
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,223
We found Crash's head.
10
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,258
Hiya, Toots.
11
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,693
Oh, my God!
12
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:30,331
Are we really offering
double points on weekdays?
13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,732
Yes, we are.
14
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,767
Is actually
very good deal.
15
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,903
♪ ♪
16
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,642
SAMANTHA:
Big morning. Not only did we
find Crash's head, but...
17
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,277
guess what, Pete? There's a new
Martino Family newsletter.
18
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,113
Pete's in here?
19
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,347
Yeah, he, Sass, Flower,
20
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:47,648
and Trevor are
watching you work.
21
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:48,949
SASAPPIS: If you're
sensing any awkwardness,
22
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,819
Jay very loudly passed gas
a few minutes ago.
23
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,422
Did they just get in here?
It doesn't matter.
24
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:55,523
Okay, well,
I'm on the edge of my seat.
25
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:56,790
Let's hear that newsletter.
26
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,259
Okay. Jay, you want to do
the honors?
27
00:00:58,359 --> 00:00:59,827
Yeah, sure.
28
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,762
Uh, "Dear family and friends,
big news to announce.
29
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,165
Laura and Brian
are getting married."
30
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,499
My daughter's
getting married?
31
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:06,500
This is amazing.
32
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,068
Congratulations, Pete.
33
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,470
(grunts)
(Jay laughs)
34
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,105
Ha-ha! Did he high-five me?
Uh, no.
35
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,107
Your hand actually just
went through Trevor's face.
36
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,643
Oh, I'm sorry, but
it serves you right for trying
37
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:16,944
to have sex with my sister.
38
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,712
So, what's Pete saying?
39
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:19,947
Well, I'm excited, obviously.
40
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,615
I mean, from the
newsletters, Brian seems
41
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,652
like a good guy. I just
wish I could be there.
42
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,754
Man, being dead
is rough.
43
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,790
(chuckles) Yeah. They never tell
you about all the downsides.
44
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,225
Pete's sad that
he can't be there.
45
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,626
JAY: Yeah,
it does sound nice.
46
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,061
It's a ceremony on the deck
47
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,296
at Carol and Jerry's house.
48
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,698
My old house.
I built that deck.
49
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,367
(gasps) Sam,
why don't we see
50
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:40,934
if they want to have
the wedding here?
51
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,436
That's a great idea.
52
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,772
Pete wants us to convince Laura
to have the wedding here
53
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,340
at the mansion
so that he can attend.
54
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,976
Well, I love the thought,
but I do see a few challenges.
55
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,911
For one, they already have
something planned.
56
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,880
And two, do we really think
that Laura would want
57
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:55,349
to get married 50 feet
from where her dad bled out?
58
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,051
It was actually a very clean
wound, very little blood.
59
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:00,988
Still gave me nightmares
for a few weeks, though.
60
00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:02,656
Sounds like that
was hard for you.
61
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,859
What if we offer it
to them for free?
62
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,095
We say we're trying
to establish ourselves
63
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:09,997
as a wedding venue,
64
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,833
and we just want pictures
for our website.
65
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,702
Sam, please. This would
mean so much to me.
66
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,205
It's my daughter. I just want
to see her get married.
67
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,273
Okay, I'll try.
68
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,008
Yes! Thank you.
(chuckles)
69
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,211
Oh, what is
that smell?
70
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:26,247
Oh, did, uh, did Isaac just
71
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,048
walk through one of us? Yeah.
72
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,383
Isaac's not in here, Jay.
73
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,219
My tummy hurts.
74
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,886
CRASH:
Oh, yeah,
75
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:36,089
feels good to be reunited
with the ol' bod.
76
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,725
Everything is copasetic now.
77
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,028
Okay, so continue.
Where did you find Crash's head?
78
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,397
We were in an unfamiliar part
of the woods
79
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,767
when I heard a voice cry out
from within a hollow tree stump,
80
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,802
"Yo, skirt,
look over here."
81
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:51,605
That was me, for any of yous
who were not following.
82
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,341
But how did you come to be
in this tree stump?
83
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,143
Was your head dislodged
by a powerful sneeze, perhaps?
84
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,177
No.
85
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,146
Somebody tossed me in there.
86
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,714
(others gasp)
87
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:01,549
But who?
88
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,816
Who would do that?
89
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,017
CRASH:
See, that's the thing,
90
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,453
I don't know.
91
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,054
(all gasp)
92
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,457
I was sitting alone one night,
watching the boob tube,
93
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,859
when all of a sudden,
94
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,361
someone grabbed my head
from behind.
95
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:16,597
I was like,
"Hey, what's the big idea?"
96
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,232
I couldn't see who it was,
97
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,100
on account of they had me
by the back of my 'do.
98
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,769
They carried me
out to the woods,
99
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,637
and threw me
in that tree stump.
100
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,606
That was a year ago.
101
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,208
So this was
no accident.
102
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,312
A crime has been committed.
103
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:34,214
A headnapper is on the loose.
104
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,450
And I will not
rest until
105
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,986
I bring him or her to justice.
106
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,354
And I'm gonna help
107
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:41,922
because Game of
Thrones is over,
108
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,625
and Momoa is not
in the spinoff.
109
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:48,462
Everyone in this house
is now a suspect.
110
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,631
And until this matter
is resolved,
111
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,266
I must insist that no one
leave the property.
112
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,501
We can't leave property.
113
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,604
Thank you
for your cooperation.
114
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:59,006
Okay, Carol,
I understand.
115
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,942
Well, call us if you
change your mind.
116
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,345
Sorry, Pete, it's a no-go.
You just gave up.
117
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,779
What was I supposed to do?
118
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,716
I offered her a free venue,
at-cost catering,
119
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,784
triple Woodstone Rewards points
for their stay.
120
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:14,254
When stick not work,
is time to try carrot.
121
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,524
TREVOR:
I think you have that
backwards, big guy.
122
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,392
Nope.
Thor is correct.
123
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:21,529
First, offer ceremonial
stick of peace.
124
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,196
If enemy
does not accept,
125
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,998
you stab in eye
with frozen carrot. (laughs)
126
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,835
So, you're saying
we should threaten Carol
127
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,136
to get the wedding here?
128
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,804
These silences, man.
Things escalate
129
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,340
very quickly in these silences.
130
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,408
There is one thing
we could use against Carol.
131
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,676
I've never
told anyone this,
132
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,645
so please don't judge me.
133
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,447
(sighs) I thought
I'd take this to my grave,
134
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:40,748
which I guess I sort of did.
(laughs)
135
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,282
TREVOR:
Just say it, Pete.
136
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,484
PETE:
Okay, here goes.
137
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,152
My deepest shame:
138
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,220
The deck they're planning
to get married on,
139
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,189
the one that I built,
140
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,558
it's unpermitted.
141
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,125
That's it?
142
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,894
Pete's saying the deck he
built wasn't permitted.
143
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,763
That doesn't sound
like a shortcut
144
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,264
my guy Pete
would take.
145
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,333
I know, but it was so close
to grilling season,
146
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,469
and the permit office
was backed up. (groans)
147
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,671
I guess I just kind of went
a little kook-a-luka.
148
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,373
Kook-a-luka?
149
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,575
(mouths): Kook-a-luka?
PETE: You know,
means crazy, haywire.
150
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,610
It's an expression.
No, it's not.
151
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,679
Okay, so the deck
is unpermitted.
152
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,246
What do we do with
that information, Pete?
153
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,548
We unleash the fury
154
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,450
of the Ulster County
zoning board.
155
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:17,951
These small towns,
156
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,520
we don't have much in the way
of regular crimes.
157
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,955
An unpermitted deck
in Ulster County is like
158
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,057
a triple homicide
in San Francisco.
159
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,292
Okay,
160
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,060
then let's report
a triple homicide.
161
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,663
Okay, I'm gonna need
some more frequent updates.
162
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,231
This every minute or so,
it's not working for me.
163
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,966
Look, we're gonna
anonymously report
164
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,702
Carol and Jerry
for the deck,
165
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,371
leaving them suddenly in need
of a last-second wedding venue.
166
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,006
Carol rejects stick,
167
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,609
so now,
she suffer carrot.
168
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,016
PETE:
Carol and my grandson are here.
169
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,317
The anonymous tip worked.
We got the deck condemned.
170
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,453
Oh, no,
I'm so sorry, Carol.
171
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,388
I know exactly
who it was.
172
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,189
Jennifer Dobson
from down the street.
173
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,525
I ran into her at
the Cracker Barrel,
174
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:58,659
and she made
some remark about
175
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,461
not being invited
to the wedding.
176
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,563
I just can't believe she would
do something like this.
177
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,966
Mm, and yet she did.
Obviously, it was her.
178
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,135
Uh, but, you know what,
the important thing is,
179
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:09,703
your daughter Laura
is gonna have
180
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,371
a beautiful
wedding here.
181
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,474
All because of an illegal deck.
(laughs)
182
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,875
I guess crime does pay.
183
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,076
Ah, it's not a great lesson.
184
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,377
Don't repeat that for the kid.
185
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,313
Where were you
on the night of the incident?
186
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,950
Here in the mansion
that I'm stuck in
187
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,251
for all of eternity.
188
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,253
Care to be more specific,
tough guy?
189
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,621
Do you have
an alibi?
190
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,990
I don't remember.
It was a year ago.
191
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,426
Do you guys remember what
you were doing a year ago?
192
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,228
Very interesting.
No alibi.
193
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,397
I am not responsible,
194
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,833
which I would think
would be obvious.
195
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,101
What do you mean
by that?
196
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,036
If I wanted to dispose
of Crash's head,
197
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,939
I certainly wouldn't have
tossed it into the woods.
198
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,775
No.
199
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,877
I would have waited
for a moonless night
200
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,179
and dropped it into
the inky waters of the old well
201
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,281
on the other side
of the property.
202
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,317
If I had done it,
203
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,453
no one would have
ever found him.
204
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,523
We've reached
a dead end.
205
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,858
Is there anything else
you remember? Anything at all.
206
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,527
Maybe someone you
were beefing with?
207
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,762
Someone who may have wanted
to get you out of the way?
208
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,865
That's a big no, daddy-o.
Everybody loves the Crash.
209
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,935
(sighs) Come now, you've never
had an issue with anybody?
210
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,505
Sass? Thor? Flower?
211
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:18,939
Definitely not Flower.
212
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,074
Before I got stumped,
we was making it.
213
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,143
Necking like nobody's business.
214
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,545
ISAAC:
Necking?
215
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,379
In your condition?
That seems a bit risky.
216
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,650
It means kissing.
I... know that.
217
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,052
I wish I could be a bigger help.
218
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:34,021
So, very interesting.
219
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,289
An illicit affair
with Flower.
220
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,191
Who would be enraged
by such an affair?
221
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,061
Enraged to the point
of skull thievery?
222
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,596
Thor.
223
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:46,299
Grandma, can I read my
book in the kitchen?
224
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,001
If it's okay
with them.
225
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,269
Aw, my scout manual.
226
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,371
Is that Pete's manual
that we found here?
227
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,206
He's obsessed
with it.
228
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,508
Better than drugs,
I guess.
229
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,377
(laughs) Uh, knock yourself out,
little man.
230
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:00,748
Laura's on
a work Zoom.
231
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,315
Women today.
232
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:05,218
They think they can have it all,
but she's not here, is she?
233
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,287
Mm, sing it, sister.
234
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,355
I'm excited
to get into the details
235
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,456
about the wedding, though.
236
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:10,591
Huh, kind of thought
my daughter
237
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,825
would be here
to do this with me,
238
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,160
not just the woman
who cheated on me
239
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,662
with my best friend, but sure.
240
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,463
Let's plan a wedding. (chuckles)
CAROL: For color scheme,
241
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:18,065
I was thinking orange.
242
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,600
PETE:
What? No, it's a,
it's a spring wedding.
243
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,735
Let's go white,
let's go periwinkle.
244
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,804
Uh, what about, like,
white and periwinkle?
245
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,706
Really play up
the spring wedding theme.
246
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,509
No, Jerry went to Syracuse.
We really love orange.
247
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,112
Luckily, we're not asking Jerry.
248
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,246
Uh, we were just
thinking because
249
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,583
we provided the venue
for free...
250
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,950
Yeah, we're gonna go
with orange.
251
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,452
Okay, whatever, fine.
Let's talk music.
252
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,487
So, let's talk music.
253
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,556
In addition
to catering,
254
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,524
Jay has also offered to DJ.
255
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,260
(laughs)
Please call me DJJ.
256
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,563
DJ Squared
is also catching on.
257
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,899
(imitates air horn)
Wikki-wikki.
258
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,400
(laughter)
259
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:56,003
So, any must-haves you want
to hear at the wedding?
260
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,505
"Dancing Queen."
Uh, what about "Dancing Queen"?
261
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,273
ABBA's not my cup of tea.
262
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,675
Are you kidding me?
263
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,443
It's a universal call
to the dance floor.
264
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,312
But anything else is fine.
265
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:06,780
Wow, Pete, if you
hadn't pushed it,
266
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,548
they could've
slipped it in no problem,
267
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,151
but now it's literally
the only song they can't play.
268
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,753
Cheese and rice.
269
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,855
Okay, look, the only thing
I really care about
270
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,590
is that there are lilies
at the wedding.
271
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,126
In terms of flower arrangements...
272
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,394
Yes, we're going with roses.
They're my favorite.
273
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,896
SAMANTHA:
I hear you. They're beautiful,
274
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,866
but let me put this
in your ear-- lilies.
275
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,535
My cat died from eating a lily.
276
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,770
That is not good
for Team Lily.
277
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,840
You know, lilies
are actually a symbol
278
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,207
for fertility.
279
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,375
Laura is 46.
280
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,877
Right.
CAROL: And this wedding
281
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,780
is mainly so Little Pete
isn't a bastard anymore.
282
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,382
Technically, he'll
always be a bastard.
283
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,817
We're sticking with roses.
284
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:45,886
Carol could never compromise.
285
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,688
It was the worst part
of our marriage.
286
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:50,323
Worse than her sleeping
with best friend behind back?
287
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,860
Oh, right. Thank you, Thor.
288
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,629
ISAAC:
We only have one question
for you,
289
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,030
but it's a doozy.
290
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,532
Did you really think
you'd get away with it?
291
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,802
You think Thor guilty? Why?
292
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,537
Because you were thrown
into a jealous rage
293
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,039
by Flower
and Crash's necking,
294
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,976
which, as we all know,
including me, is kissing.
295
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,377
That was a year ago.
296
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,746
Thor and Flower
weren't even dating yet.
297
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,148
Exactly.
That was your motive,
298
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,516
getting him
out of the way.
299
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,485
We've got you
dead to rights, Thor.
300
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,688
Make it easy on yourself, confess.
301
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:24,124
But Thor not do it.
Thor not jealous of Crash.
302
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,625
Flower doesn't even like him.
303
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,560
In fact, she told me that he
304
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,029
starting to bother her and
305
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,898
saying that he was
getting all mushy
306
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,533
because he started singing
too many songs of love.
307
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,502
Really?
Yeah.
308
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,037
She say that he get clingy,
309
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,172
and you know that
she has commitment issues.
310
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,341
(gasp) So, you're saying Flower
might've had a motive
311
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,642
for getting rid
of Crash?
312
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,577
What do you know?
This pretzel has a twist.
313
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,113
All pretzels
have twists.
314
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,514
Not pretzel rods, Alberta.
315
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,782
(gasps)
316
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,483
What were you doing out there?
317
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,786
I'm trying my darndest to give
my daughter her dream wedding,
318
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,822
and you're laying a goose egg
on the scoreboard.
319
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:57,257
Pete feels like Carol's
steamrolling us on everything.
320
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,792
Yeah, she's scary.
321
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,593
The woman rolls
her own cigarettes.
322
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,929
She's like
an ice road trucker.
323
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:04,264
I'm sorry, Pete,
you must be so frustrated.
324
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,900
Oh, I'm well beyond frustrated.
I'm darn near P.O.'d.
325
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,402
Oh, man, when Pete starts
abbreviating almost bad words,
326
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,470
you know he's upset.
327
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,239
Everything else I'm fine with.
328
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,640
I just need these lilies.
329
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,442
Why are lilies
so important to you?
330
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,110
Not to me,
331
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,913
to my daughter.
332
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,414
All right.
333
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,050
Are you ready for Daddy
to walk you down the aisle,
334
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,852
to begin your life
with Mr. Snuggles?
335
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:27,220
Wait, Daddy, I need my flowers.
336
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,956
Of course,
your bouquet.
337
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:31,191
How could I forget?
338
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,961
Thank you, Daddy.
339
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:37,230
These are the most
beautiful flowers ever.
340
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:41,101
CAROL:
Pete, did you call the
permit office about that deck?
341
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,504
I'll get to it!
I'm doing something!
342
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,573
Sorry.
343
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,475
That's a beautiful
story, Pete.
344
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,043
And I'm sure it would
mean a lot to Carol,
345
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,945
coming from you,
but unfortunately
346
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,580
she can't hear it
from you.
347
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:54,982
What if she could?
348
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,449
SAMANTHA:
What do you mean?
349
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,951
Well, you know how Pete wrote
350
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,453
a bunch of notes down
in this book?
351
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,589
What if one of them
just happened to say
352
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,092
that his favorite flowers
were lilies?
353
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,560
Oh, I don't think
that's in there.
354
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,129
(laughs) Not yet.
355
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,130
Oh.
356
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,131
Okay, normally I'd be opposed
357
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,465
to this kind of fraud,
358
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,768
but I recently learned
that crime does pay,
359
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,669
so let's do it.
360
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,839
So, after Thor revealed
you had a motive
361
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,107
for getting rid
of Crash,
362
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,274
we have a culprit.
363
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,743
Oh, my God, who?
This is so exciting.
364
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,813
You, Flower.
It was you.
365
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,115
Wait, what did I do?
366
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:29,549
You hid Crash's head.
367
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:32,986
You and Crash were in
an intimate relationship,
368
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,922
but then
he started bugging you.
369
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,556
The crooning,
the poems,
370
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,525
the constant necking.
It all became
371
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,594
too much, so you dumped
his head in the woods.
372
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,597
He got too attached,
so you unattached him.
373
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,900
On the night
in question,
374
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,002
you snuck up behind him while he
was watching The Price Is Right,
375
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,703
and you snatched
his head.
376
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,840
Okay, fine.
377
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,375
I did it. I hid Crash's head.
378
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,310
Yes, you did.
(laughs)
379
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,478
But, more importantly,
380
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,013
we figured it out.
381
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,482
The crack investigative team
of Higgintoot and Haynes.
382
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,351
Pony and Bangs.
383
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,419
(gasps) Alberta,
I love that.
384
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,554
(laughs)
385
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,689
Oh, because of your hairstyles.
386
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,791
CAROL:
"And that's why GoBots
387
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,094
are superior
to Transformers."
Mm-hmm.
388
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,464
"Now, when it comes to flowers,
nothing beats a lily."
389
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,266
He wrote it right there
in the margin.
390
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:20,600
It all makes sense now.
391
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,936
That is why I had lilies
stuck in my head.
392
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:26,073
I must have read it in
Pete's old scout manual and
393
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,375
somehow internalized it. Okay.
394
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,111
I guess that would be
a nice way to honor Pete.
395
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,113
"And also 'Dancing Queen'
is a great number to bop to."
396
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,581
Add that when
she's not looking.
397
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,849
You guys talking my wedding?
398
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,017
JAY: Look who it is.
SAMANTHA: Laura, hey.
399
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,218
PETE:
Ah, my little pumpkin,
400
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,987
who's older than me.
401
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:41,754
That's kind of messing
with my head.
402
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:43,123
We were
discussing flowers.
403
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,692
Did you know that
your dad loved lilies?
404
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,827
No. I don't remember him
ever mentioning lilies.
405
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,097
And that's kind of messing
with my heart.
406
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,532
Really? No special memories
related to lilies?
407
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,935
No. Why do you think
he liked lilies?
408
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,470
Because he wrote it
in his book, right here.
409
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:58,671
No.
410
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,640
Grandpa didn't write that.
That's new.
411
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,211
Kill small child. Silence him.
412
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,547
(laughs) Your grandpa
did write that, buddy.
413
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,282
No, it's new.
414
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,919
He's read this book
a thousand times.
415
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,753
Sounds like Little Pete
needs some friends.
416
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,656
And that writing
does look...
417
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,790
a little different
418
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,093
from this writing.
419
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,995
Wait a minute,
420
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:25,665
did you psychos
forge this?
421
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,200
What's happening?
422
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,836
She was obsessed with lilies
for her website pictures.
423
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,404
Then,
all of a sudden,
424
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:34,607
they found this thing
in your dad's book
425
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,476
about him
loving lilies.
426
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,045
Sam, fix this.
427
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:40,880
No, no, that is...
it's just a coincidence.
428
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,650
I don't think we should
do your wedding here.
429
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,252
What? No.
430
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,921
Yeah, this all feels
a little too weird.
431
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,722
Come on, Laura, help
me pack up my stuff.
432
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:50,924
Wait, please don't leave.
433
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,525
If you leave now,
you're gonna forfeit
434
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,294
all of your
Woodstone Rewards Points.
435
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:58,065
You were one night away
from a free pancake breakfast.
436
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,540
SAMANTHA:
Come on, Pete, don't
beat yourself up.
437
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,908
No, it's my own fault.
I went too far.
438
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,978
And now I won't even see
my daughter get married.
439
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,345
And the worst part is,
440
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,613
she doesn't even remember
the stupid lilies.
441
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,215
One of my most
cherished memories,
442
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,883
and it means nothing to her.
443
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,152
Okay, well,
we're leaving.
444
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,254
Thank you for
a very weird time.
445
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,390
We're taking you off
the family newsletter.
446
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,092
(gasps) No!
447
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,593
Even Thor upset
about that.
448
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:27,927
Was excited
to hear how
449
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,430
Cousin Debbie's trip
to Spain went. (chuckles)
450
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,065
She is most
adventurous cousin.
451
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,367
SAMANTHA:
I just, I feel so bad
about this whole situation.
452
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,336
You're right.
453
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,905
I got obsessed with having
lilies in the photos,
454
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,708
and I should've cared more
about what you guys wanted.
455
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:44,611
You defaced a family heirloom.
456
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,614
I guess I just... I...
I went a little kook-a-luka.
457
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,150
I don't know
how else to say it.
458
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,684
What did you say?
459
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,153
I went nuts,
460
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,622
and I'm sure you guys
never want to see us again.
461
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,190
LAURA:
No, that word.
462
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,360
Kook-a-luka.
Why do you know that word?
463
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,595
I... don't know.
464
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,298
It just popped
into my head. Why?
465
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:08,468
The only other person I've ever
heard say that word is my dad.
466
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,203
CAROL:
Did you read that
in Pete's book
467
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,338
or something?
468
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,605
That word's not in there, Grandma,
469
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,374
and I would know
because I have every word
470
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,009
of that book memorized.
471
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,510
(laughs)
TREVOR: Seriously,
472
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,846
somebody get this kid
a basketball or something.
473
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:20,813
(grunts)
474
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,582
I want to have the wedding here.
475
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,284
CAROL:
Wait, what?
476
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,154
(sighs) I don't know.
I can't explain it, but
477
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,422
I feel Dad's
presence here.
478
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,758
I felt it the first time
we came last year,
479
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:35,128
and now,
hearing that word,
480
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,464
I don't know, I feel it now.
481
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,931
I'm right here, Pumpkin.
482
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:42,135
LAURA: I want him to be
with me at my wedding,
483
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,737
just like when he married me off
to Mr. Snuggles
484
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,173
and gave me those orchids.
485
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,907
(laughs)
486
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,276
Right.
487
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,212
Orchids. (laughs) My bad.
488
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:53,246
Seriously?
489
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,048
What? I had a senior moment.
490
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,749
Technically, I'm 78.
491
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,152
(sighs) Well,
that is one interrogation
492
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,088
Flower won't
soon forget.
493
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,155
You think?
494
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,823
No, she probably will.
495
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,459
(both laugh)
496
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,295
Ah, well...
497
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,863
until next time, Bangs.
498
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:15,068
Oh, uh, just one
more thing, Pony.
499
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,704
You said Crash was watching
The Price Is Right
500
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,673
when his head
was stolen.
501
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:21,874
And?
502
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:25,245
And... (laughs)
503
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,713
Crash didn't
tell us that.
504
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,516
The only way you'd know
what he was watching is if you
505
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,384
were the one who grabbed
Crash's greasy mop
506
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,519
and threw it in the woods.
507
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,821
Oh, well... well, you see,
508
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,657
there is actually
a very simple explanation...
There is.
509
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,760
It was you all along, Isaac.
510
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,396
The only thing
I can't figure out is why.
511
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,565
I was very bored.
(gasps)
512
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,667
I-I thought a mystery could
513
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,769
spice things up, so...
514
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,037
yes,
515
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,840
I tossed Crash's head
into the woods.
516
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,709
I thought solving the crime
could be a diversion,
517
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,112
something to help
while away eternity.
518
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,148
But why did you let it
go on for so long?
519
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:04,751
That boy was stuck
in a tree stump for a year.
520
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,119
There were several blizzards.
521
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,087
Well, admittedly,
that wasn't my intention.
522
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:11,391
The truth is,
I sort of just... forgot.
523
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,025
(gasps)
I know.
524
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,994
Shortly after
I stashed Crash's head,
525
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,796
things started developing
with Nigel, and then there was
526
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,831
a lot of hubbub around
the B and B opening up,
527
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,567
and plus the new season
of Bake Off came out.
528
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,601
Oh, Isaac.
529
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,503
I know. I'm not proud of it,
530
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,905
but at least one good thing
did come of this.
531
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,807
When was the last time
the two of us
532
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,842
spent this kind of time
together?
533
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,479
It was fun to be
on the case with you.
534
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,948
And why the hell
did Flower confess?
535
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:38,050
I don't know,
but that was great.
536
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,119
Maybe we could do this
again sometime.
537
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,154
I'd like that.
538
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,522
Although
waiting around
539
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,257
for an actual crime
could prove tedious.
540
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,893
We could lock a basement ghost
in the vault,
541
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,961
and then find them
in a few days.
542
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,699
I like the way
you think.
543
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,305
Thank you again
for hosting the wedding.
544
00:18:58,405 --> 00:18:59,606
Our pleasure, Jerry.
545
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,374
I'm just pleased
we were able to step in
546
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,910
after the whole incident
with Pete's unpermitted deck.
547
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,979
Which was
obviously called in
548
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,415
by a bitter neighbor.
549
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,784
It's okay. I'm gonna build Carol
an even bigger deck.
550
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,320
THOR (laughs):
Yes,
551
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:16,989
Jerry will give Carol the
big deck that Pete never could.
552
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:17,824
Ooh.
553
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,659
Oh, look at Little Pete.
554
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,462
Your grandson's such a cutie. Agreed.
555
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,531
He is an adorable
little bastard.
556
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,999
Where are the bridesmaids?
This wedding sucks.
557
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,802
What is taking so long?
Where is Laura?
558
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,338
Did she get cold feet?
559
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,605
HETTY:
Peter, relax,
560
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:33,873
she's been with this man
for ten years,
561
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,174
and they have a child together.
562
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,743
The point is,
no one else wants her.
563
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,045
(gasps)
There she is.
564
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,620
Oh, Pete,
she looks so beautiful.
565
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,021
I can't believe it.
566
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,723
My little girl's
getting married.
567
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:54,627
ALBERTA:
Pete, you go walk your girl
down the aisle.
568
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,634
Ow, ow!
569
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,237
Worth it. (sniffles)
Ow! I-I'm okay.
570
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,139
Ooh. (sighs)
571
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,314
You know, when I was
in the stump,
572
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,615
I thought about you
all the time.
573
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,285
Uh... okay.
574
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,453
I even wrote a song
for you.
575
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,121
You want
to hear it?
576
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,890
I'm kind of
watching something.
577
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,493
♪ Feeling cold,
shooby doo wop, wop ♪
578
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,795
♪ In the tree,
shooby doo wop ♪
579
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:32,031
♪ I thought about you,
shooby doo wop ♪
580
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,232
♪ Being with me ♪
581
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,235
♪ Oh. ♪
582
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:39,639
Hey!
583
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,774
(sighs)
584
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:42,975
Captioning sponsored by CBS
585
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,311
and TOYOTA.
586
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:52,352
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org