Previously this season
on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
[cheering]
If you get lost, just look for the Louis Vuitton tread.
Yeah, that's how I track all of my hikes.
We have a Vida party coming soon.
Modern take on the '80s.
Can you send me a style guide so I don't get this wrong?
- Yes. - [laughter]
I wish I could be who I am and still be a good Mormon.
- Of course you do. - Just to honor Dad
and just to honor our family
and just to not screw up everybody.
When you sent me the text saying you were having a faith crisis,
I, like, threw my phone across the room.
- I don't wanna read that. - [laughter]
- Oh, my gosh. - What?
- "'Real Housewives' star
charged in massive fraud money laundering scheme."
- It can't be real. - Oh, my God.
I am innocent.
- [crying] I didn't do anything. - I believe you.
We're waiting for the clerk to send us the $1 million bond.
- Cash. - Yes, the cash.
What we have to do is we'll move.
We can get a smaller spot where you don't have to pay as much.
Don't think you're above nobody else. Don't yell at me.
- I'm not above anything. - Little girl.
The congregation believes that Mary is God.
- Are they worshiping her? - Yes.
You are the facsimile of God.
You talk about her as much as we did. Don't lie, Mary.
Okay, can I talk?
No, you can't talk because you're lying.
Jennie starts coming at me.
[imitating Asian accent] "She's this. Mary is lying.
She said a lot of things about you..." Okay, sorry.
Mary, do you like Jennie?
No. I personally think you're rude.
♪♪♪
I'm sorry. The last thing I would ever wanna do
is hurt Brooks.
Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it.
I think they did an investigation.
They have enough for certain charges,
and there's other things they're still investigating.
It was way before Vail, going on.
That's something that started way long time ago.
Get out of my face!
Do you wanna know what you've done? Right?
Do you want me to tell what you've done, baby?
Oh, my God.
Oh, sweetie, you have no idea what I know.
You're ----ing fraudulent. Exactly.
Who's calling who a fraud? Love you, baby.
Ask your 10 other mother-----ing boyfriends.
♪♪♪
The only thing I'm guilty of is being...
[singsongy] Shah-mazing!
In a town of beauties and beasts,
there's only one Wild Rose.
You don't have to like me.
I love myself enough for the both of us.
I have plenty of everything, including opinions.
I may be known for my ice, but I always bring the heat.
If you come for me, I will send Jesus after you.
I was raised a Mormon,
but now I'm raising a glass of champagne.
♪♪♪
- Guys, hi! - Hi, Lisa.
Oh, my gosh. How are you? It looks so good.
- I love it. How are you? - Thank you.
This is the perfect space for the Vida party.
- Oh, my gosh. I love them. - [bell dings]
- I love it. - [bell dings]
I love this. It's just like my invite.
- That's so gorgeous. I love it. - [bell dings]
- Oh, my gosh. I love it. - [bell dings]
- I love it. - [bell dinging]
I love this. I love it. I love it. I love it.
I love that. I love it.
I love it. I don't just like 'em. I love 'em.
- [bell dings] - [laughs]
♪♪♪
Hold on. We're gonna bet.
- How much? - $100.
Okay. Have your 100 bucks ready.
Here we go. Oh, wow.
If I can get 100 bucks off of you, that'd be great.
- You just hit the ball. - I tried to.
♪♪♪
You're not getting 100 bucks out of me, buddy.
Whoo!
♪♪♪
[doorbell rings]
I think the doorbell just rang.
The movers are probably here.
♪♪♪
- Hey. How's it going? - Good. How you doing?
- Hey, guys. How are you? - Good.
- Jen, long time no see. - I know.
[laughs] Good to see you.
I'm like, he might be happy to see me but scared, too, to move.
[laughs]
After looking at many, many, many houses,
we finally found something.
When are you looking to move out of here?
We really have, like, until the end of the month.
We definitely, you know, we're downsizing.
It's not 9,000 square feet.
[buzzer]
It's about half of that. So I would like an "A" for effort
because I'm doing the best I can with what I can do.
We wanna downsize because of,
you know, the legal case that's going on.
♪♪♪
I'm gonna be, like, focusing all my efforts on that.
Yeah, with everything going on with that.
It's like a $2 million retainer for it.
- All right. - So we're gonna be put--
You know, downsizing a little bit
to put all of our money into, you know, the retainer
and fighting that. - Okay.
I hate packing period. It's my least favorite thing to do.
Even packing for a trip. I could be going to Hawaii.
I still hate packing.
Let's just go over everything, you know, what's going,
what's not, what are y'all gonna do, what are we gonna do?
Yeah.
Kinda establish those expectations...
- Okay. - today.
And what is Murilo gonna do? [laughs]
Yeah, what's Murilo gonna do? You know what I mean?
- So let's just identify... - Okay.
what some of those things are now,
and then that way, we can determine how much this project
is gonna cost. - Okay.
Packing to downsize-- That's depressing.
Like, I'm acting like it's okay, and I got this,
and okay, we're moving forward, but, like, this is--
This is hard for me.
Let's go ahead and let's do a walk-through of the house.
- Okay. - Same deal just as
we always have. - Murilo, I need you
taking notes, too. - Okay.
- Is all of this here going? - Yes, and then the TV.
- TV? - Yep, I'll let--
You guys will handle everything in here.
You have beautiful pieces.
Dining area, the breakfast nook, everything goes here.
- The patio furniture out there. - Patio furniture. Okay.
Everything here--the tables, everything on the wall.
Okay.
I'll probably have you guys do those.
Okay.
I'll take down all this artwork.
- All the art. - You took this bed down before.
- You guys did. - We can disassemble that.
And this is Coach's closet here?
Yeah.
Nothing compared to your closet.
[laughs] Okay, so, look, we even got a few boxes.
- Ohh. Very good. - Okay. So what do you think?
Probably looking at somewhere around... $8,000 to $10,000.
Right.
But I mean, if you still wanna proceed,
we can definitely take care of ya.
No, I have to proceed.
My trial starts March 7th,
and so yeah, am I scared? I'm very scared.
Is this the last... everything I have with my family this year?
It's crushing because I'm the person that takes care
of my entire family.
What's everybody gonna do if something happens to me?
This is why I can't sleep at night.
This is what keeps me up.
We'll do as much as possible so that we can get the price down.
- Okay. - That's fair.
Like, we'll try to pack as much as we can.
Like, I'm anticipating we will pack my whole closet.
Those chairs, the mirrors, boots, the wigs.
I mean, maybe we should have a garage sale,
but I don't think you can in the HOA.
- I don't think so. - And I don't think
any of your neighbors go to yard sales, but, uh...
- Yeah. - [laughter]
Coming up...
- Is this, like, good? - [camera shutter clicking]
- Love it. - Yeah, that's perfect.
This feels kinda sexual, and I'm not really enjoying it.
We don't have to be siblings in the photo. [laughs]
What is wrong with you? Get away.
♪♪♪
Hi!
- How are you? - Hi.
I brought some worker bees for you to unload the car.
- She didn't wear her work shoes. - I...
Are we headed to the, um, up by the gravesite,
or down this way?
We're just gonna set up right here over by the service.
♪♪♪
Is this where we want the flowers?
Everyone sit like you're the audience, and I'll feel it out.
[laughs]
You guys, this is all wrong.
I want to have it set up so that when we're watching the speaker,
we're looking at the snow-capped mountains,
and we see the green.
- Everybody up. - Okay.
We're gonna readjust.
It's been a year since my dad passed away suddenly,
and when he died, it was in the middle of the pandemic,
and so we weren't able to have a funeral
or gather any of our friends and family.
- Hi, T! Case! - We made it.
- Hi! - I got Casey with me.
- The bros. Hi, brother. - I'm glad to be here.
And now a year later, it feels like the perfect time
to have a celebration of life.
- Look at this. - Hi, Tyler.
It's so good to see you.
- He would have loved this. - He would've loved it, right?
Loved every bit of it.
There are quite a few people that I invited today
that did not show up--
My sisters, my brother, my mom.
- Hi, John. What's up? - Hey. Good. How are you?
I mean, Nancy hasn't been a Mormon since she was 16,
but she still refused to come to the memorial.
In a year, we'll have a celebration of life.
We'll do it the way he would have wanted it.
Do you think you're up to making the trip?
Celebration of life. It's not just, you know...
- Not just his. - Not just his.
We get to celebrate. You get to live life.
I think she did that out of loyalty to the family
that was taking a stand and refusing to participate,
because my mom told her my dad was rolling over in his grave.
It's just so messed up.
- The star! Hi! - Hey, Dre.
- Hi. Hi. - Good to see you.
- Hi, Dre. - Hi, my love.
Amazing.
I had a celebration of life for someone that they loved,
for their dad, for their husband,
and they didn't come.
I feel like they think it'd be a compromise of their values
and a betrayal of their faith
if they were to endorse me in any way.
It's quite possible that they did something
completely private and separate and just did not tell me.
Well, this is our group, so...
- Okay. - should everyone...
If you guys are ready, we can take a seat.
- We'll get started. - Except for my brother Casey,
everyone here today are all kind of conflicted Mormons, too,
and it's become kind of like a committee meeting
for the Island of Misfit Toys
and all of the conflicted Mormons
that don't really have a place to grieve
or to... do the rituals that they grew up doing,
because we're kind of between two worlds.
I'm so thrilled to have this moment with all of you.
It's been a crazy year,
and right before he died, I had, like, come--
I had really given up everything I believed
about heaven and eternal life,
and the fact that I would be struggling
with all of these feelings
and then really have it be put to the test because...
[voice breaking] right when I'm in the middle
of trying to figure out my life and what I really do believe,
he died.
♪♪♪
Christmas. He died in April.
We spoke in Christmas,
but things were very, very strained
because I had recently, like, been public
about my faith crisis and going to church
and all of the things.
[sniffles]
I found that, like, I didn't know
if my dad even really knew who I was when he died.
♪♪♪
And I hope he would know that even though he's not here,
I still feel compelled to make him proud,
and I still feel compelled... [sniffles]
To honor his name and his legacy.
The hard part about that is he was really, really proud
to be a Mormon.
He loved being a Mormon, and he loved telling people
and sharing it and inviting people in
and sharing the gospel, and he was so proud
that I was a missionary and that I preached the gospel
and... [sniffles]
Anything that was Mormon, he was into. [laughs]
And... [sniffles]
I knew I could never fully be myself and be Mormon,
but I would rather be his daughter than be myself,
and I would rather be Mormon and be loved
and make him proud than anything opposite,
but... [sniffles] here I am, a bad Mormon.
[sniffles] And I want him to know that
I've lost my faith but not my faith in other people,
and most importantly, I haven't lost faith in myself,
and I haven't lost faith in my ability
to ultimately make him proud,
even if it's under different terms and definitions.
♪♪♪
[sniffles]
That was really... hit me. That was great.
Dad was a pillar, I think, in all of our lives.
But I think his passing has forced each of us
to confront our own realities,
and I propose that we take a moment and commit
to one another that we're gonna be there for each other,
no matter the circumstances,
and I think that's gonna be a way that we can make
the world feel a little less empty.
You know, we have this phrase that we say, "No empty chairs."
Like, when we get to heaven,
there'll be no empty chairs 'cause everyone in our family
will be sitting around the table.
I think what John would want us to do
is come together and sing one of his favorite songs.
And I think that all he could probably see
about my life right now is that in heaven
there'd be an empty chair where I should have been sitting,
and I think that loss probably would have eclipsed
any joy or pride he had in who I am right now.
♪ God be with you till we meet again ♪
♪ With his sheep securely fold you ♪
♪ God be with you till we meet again ♪
You guys, everybody grab a chair,
and we're gonna--let's go down there to have the picnic.
I'm gonna leave my cypress eternal life tree
for Grandpa John.
♪♪♪
I'm glad the people that are here who flew around the world
to be here--that's huge.
Like you said, Dad always said 98% of it is showing up,
and you really showed up. - Did you see Mom pull up?
- Mm-hmm. - No.
She pulled up for a minute, yeah.
- She pulled up? - How are you feeling?
♪♪♪
I would have loved to have seen her.
No, I know.
I think she didn't wanna interrupt the flow.
You attend the event.
You don't show up mid-stream to make it about you.
You saw it, but you still disapprove.
That's all that was.
I think it's a trend that Heather catches the flak,
you know, and somehow I'm like the Teflon kid,
and this is something totally out of your control.
That I get blamed for everything?
Everything, yeah, but I mean, you're an easy target.
You're loud and proud,
and I feel for you, and-- And that's one of the reasons
I'm here for you in general and life.
I appreciate that.
All of these people were willing to show up for me
and take the heat.
But they're still welcome in both worlds except for me,
and that's because I've been so public about it.
It'd be fine if I wasn't practicing Mormonism
as long as I didn't shout it from the rooftops, you know?
I think we all need to stick together
and just form a little--just be a real tight-knit group, guys.
I don't think we're gonna have a choice.
- We have no choice. - I think we're going to be
all be on a lifeboat together and cast off to sea.
Well, we're each other's lifeboats now, yeah.
- It's like "Survivor." - Yeah, I'm gonna say it. Like,
I think this is our island, and ain't nobody asking to be on it.
Who's got the conch shell?
Coming up...
We can't rush 'em.
You let the girls align when they're ready to align.
All right, to letting them align.
- Letting them align. - [laughter]
You want me to talk about who you dated and who you dated
and everyone else? - Nobody's talking about that!
- I'll go there! Stop it! - Sharrieff's here, and Seth!
- What are you talking about?! - I've had enough.
I'll talk about who everybody dated that nobody knows about!
♪♪♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Oh, my goodness.
- Hello! - Hi!
- [laughs] - I'm so excited.
- Thank you for everything. - Hi, guys.
- How are you? - Good to see you.
We wanna make sure that we get individual, duos, trios.
Obviously, we want everyone dressed in their suits.
I would love to see everybody in two different jewelry looks
at some point today.
We should get in our suits first though, right?
If we get makeup on the suits, we are in trouble.
That's no bueno.
- [laughter] - Okay.
I've wanted to have a photo shoot
that was for my brand.
Do you like this pendant shorter,
or do you want the pendant on the longer chain?
It's more about what you're comfortable in.
You're wearing it.
A lot of people have this vision that my jewelry
is only for women,
and "When is your men's collection coming out?"
My men's collection's never coming out,
because my jewelry is for everybody.
One, two, three.
- Look right at me. - [camera shutter clicking]
Perfect.
So I got in touch with GLAAD because I decided
that we could really make this
into something much more exciting
by trying to raise money for GLAAD.
Oh, there we go.
- Yeah, that's perfect. - Look behind you.
Everyone should feel comfortable in their own skin.
There's no reason why anyone should feel
that they can't be who they are.
- [camera shutter clicks] - Like that. Love.
[camera shutter clicking]
[laughs]
We've had a tough few months with all the drama
that went down between Jen and Brooks.
She's spoken on my behalf about things
that I haven't even spoken to you about.
She liked a tweet saying, "I want Jen to turn around
and slap Brooks and call him a sissy bitch."
My son has been going down his own journey.
Wherever that leads him, that leads him,
and I accept that at every level,
and I just want him to know that we love and support him
in every capacity.
[camera shutter clicks]
This feels kinda sexual, and I'm not really enjoying it.
We don't have to be siblings in the photo.
- What is wrong with you? - [laughs]
Get away.
Perfect.
Then let's see one where you're just kind of tying.
You're messing with that.
- [camera shutter clicking] - Perfect.
♪♪♪
Okay, now no, no, no, no, no! Seth!
Oh, I love that.
I think that GLAAD is a really incredible organization
supporting the LGBTQ.
Okay.
And I'm so happy that I was able to be here
with Seth and Brooks and Chloe to really celebrate that.
Okay, let's do the big group one.
Smile!
[camera shutter clicking]
Oh, that was beautiful.
Look right here.
My personal belief is
equality means that you don't ever have to come out.
Seeing this is extremely heartwarming
and just empowering
to see all of these incredible human beings.
So to me, when we can stop labeling people,
that's when we have equality at every level.
♪♪♪
- Hi. - Wow.
♪♪♪
How was your trip?
Just got better.
♪♪♪
What... do I owe this pleasure for?
- Do I have lipstick on? - Mm-hmm.
You know, the last year's been very difficult,
and now that I've gotten through the rebrand,
I want to reprioritize my life.
I just wanted to take the night to let you know how much
I love you and appreciate you.
You've sacrificed a lot for me to rebrand
and take my business to the next level.
- [cork pops] - Whoo!
- [champagne spills] - Wow.
- She came quick. - [laughs]
You better get up in there.
[chuckles]
It's no secret that Justin and I have been in a rut.
Like, sex, babe.
♪♪♪
I need it as much as you do.
Yeah, I think sometimes when you get so busy
that you completely check out.
I want us to go back to how we used to be.
No more robotic sex.
We're gonna have fun sex. [chuckles]
- [sexy music playing] - All right.
So I'm gonna need you to take off your shoes...
- All right. - your pants and your shirt,
because guess what we are finally doing.
- The love art. - Love is art.
You know, my work-life balance is still in evolution.
It's something I'm still working on.
I don't think it's ever gonna be easy
when you are working and have a family.
♪♪♪
But I am all about keeping it exciting and interesting.
♪♪♪
So you'll stay together.
♪♪♪
[giggles]
♪♪♪
- Ow! [laughs] - Exactly.
Coming up...
Mary, what did you say about me?
Oh, run away. Run the [bleep] away,
because you don't have nothing to say, Mary!
If you have something to say about me, say it to my face!
♪♪♪
- Mom. - What, honey?
- You look so pretty. - Thanks, Jack.
- Yeah. - What do you think?
What would you pick? This option.
And then I have this dress.
Whatever one covers you up more.
I... [laughs]
♪♪♪
The invite said Vida Tequila Food Court,
but chic '80s and '90s vibe,
so do not show up in leg warmers and...
- Body suits? - Yeah. Leotards.
♪♪♪
I need to pick out a dress.
It's 1980s-inspired, today's fashion. Very chic.
- So that one. This one. - And then... or this one.
Let me see that one. Let me see that one.
It's got a hole in it.
I know. That's why I'm afraid to wear it,
because I feel like it's holy, and it's like...
It's holy. Praise the dress.
♪♪♪
[engine revs]
It's, like, the cutest little car. I'm obsessed.
[engine revs]
Train.
- You look beautiful. - Thanks, baby.
[singsongy] I'm excited for tonight!
- Should we park right up front? - Yep.
Thanks, baby.
♪♪♪
- Ooh. - It looks so good!
- This looks awesome. - It turned out perfectly.
[1980s style music playing]
- You brought all the touches. - All of the little extras.
This is our debut of our crystal-adorned bottles.
Um, can we walk John through all of the eats?
I wanted it to be, like, inspired by mall foods
but on a luxury scale.
♪♪♪
These bottles and this Vida event for me
is inspired by the late '80s, early '90s,
the height of fashion and decadence
where everything was embellished.
This is not a theme party. I hate costumes.
I don't like to get dressed up,
and I'm really hoping people don't take this literally
and show up looking like Madonna.
- So good to see you! - I know! It's been long.
- Hi, gorgeous friend! - Oh, my God.
How are you? Oh, my God. It's so good to see you.
- What's up, retiree? - Hey! Very good.
♪♪♪
- John! What's up? - What's going on?
Good to see you. Glad you're here.
- Hey, you look great. - John, is this your '80s?
It is. It is. It's about as good as I can get.
♪♪♪
- How are you guys? Thank you. - I'm starving, but I was like...
- How's it going? - Hey, good.
Welcome to my food court.
♪♪♪
How hot are you? I can't even take it.
Oh, look. Vida Tequila car.
- This is a hostess gift. - Yes.
- But where should I put it? - Oh, my gosh.
You didn't have to do that, but I'm so glad you did.
Did anybody do a costume? [laughs]
- I did. - Well, I did, too, kind of.
I feel like we're the theme-iest.
- I mean, yours is so-- - This is Whitney Houston, girl.
[laughs]
Oh, my God!
- [laughter] - You look amazing.
Stop it. Oh, my gosh. Hi, Sharrieff!
Did we get the dress code okay?
- Oh, my God. I die. Oh, my gosh. - [laughs]
♪♪♪
- Ooh. Swami. - Welcome...
- [laughing] - Look who rolled in!
♪♪♪
I'm gonna... Can I scoot down here and...
Do my legs look tan?
No, they look skinny and fabulous.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Meredith is coming tonight.
Are you looking forward to seeing everybody?
I mean... I guess it depends on how everyone behaves.
If everyone's nice, sure.
♪♪♪
You haven't been mad at Meredith,
frustrated with Meredith? - No, no, I tell her,
I'm like, "Hey, there's this tension."
I've been friends with Meredith for a long time,
and I've been friends with her family for a long time.
I just think something--do you guys think something's going on?
Yes.
♪♪♪
- Hey. - Are we the only ones
who got the theme invitation? Are we the only ones?
- Oh, you look great. - How are you?
Um, Meredith's here.
Yeah, I know. I'm gonna go say hi to her in a second.
So you guys are the best of friends. Everything's fine?
- No, but I-- - Hello!
- Hi! - Hey!
- How are you? - Good.
- Look how cute we look. - How are you?
- Hello. - Hi!
- You look beautiful. - Thank you.
You look so pretty. Come sit down.
I am over the land of make-believe with these two.
[laughs]
It feels like they're never going to get
to the real issues if they continue just to, like,
look the other way.
It just feels like... the friendship that never was.
Honestly.
♪♪♪
Let me introduce you to my friend Scott real fast.
- Scott. - Nice to meet you.
It's a pleasure, Scott.
He lives across the street from me.
- Oh, nice. - He consoles me when I need it.
How are you? I'm glad you guys are here!
I have a crush-crush on all the husbands.
- Oh, stop. Stop. - But J. for sure.
No, you can't. He might be your cousin, too.
We could be cousins, too, on the other side.
We have the same build. You know? [chuckles]
♪♪♪
Okay, why do I not know anyone in here?
- Hi. - Hey.
- How you doing, John? - Glad you came.
Thank you.
I'm gonna top it off.
♪♪♪
- Oh, wait. That wasn't water. - Yeah. You like that?
Oh-ho! I just chased tequila with tequila.
With tequila. That's a good thing.
- I think the water's over there. - You have water here?
Oh, you got it.
I just feel like her tequila tastes like water,
and it didn't have anything flavor for it.
I mean, it's like Lisa. Just... blah.
You know, just... and then it puts a...
a weird taste in your mouth at the end.
It's like... okay.
Put a lime in it to distinguish which one's Mormon
and which one's not.
♪♪♪
We have, like, amazing churros.
Um, this is pizza, and then we have these amazing Chinese eats.
- Pretzels, some chopsticks. - I like the cute, little pastas.
Stir-fry. Come on. Help yourself.
♪♪♪
Have you been to the food court yet?
Yeah, I ate from all five countries represented.
- I had a--a-- - Did you?
- German pretzel.
I had a Belgian frite. I had some kind of pizza.
- You had a slider? - [laughs]
You did? You ate the slider? With the bun or without?
[laughs]
You wrapped it in the lettuce and the pickle and the cheese.
I did.
♪♪♪
I feel like it's my job to just bring it.
I'm kidding. [laughs]
It's common decency when you see someone that you know,
you say hi and you greet that person.
Mary, you just don't have any common decency
or common sense.
Girl, am I invisible in your eyes?
Yes, I'm ignoring her. I sure am.
I just wish I can poof her and just disappear.
Coming up...
I'm sorry for talking about your church.
I would have not done that had you not put me down first.
Don't roll your eyes. Don't roll your eyes.
Okay, so I don't--I don't-- Hold on.
Don't roll your eyes.
But don't validate yourself either.
♪♪♪
[1980s-style music playing]
♪♪♪
Hell, yeah!
♪♪♪
Is that really a suit you had from...
- From the '80s, baby. - No way. Seriously?
Didn't, uh, Arsenio wear a double-breasted a lot?
Back in the day.
Your--Your timing was impeccable...
- Really? - to allow my wife
to come to the church because the people visited her,
and they were sweet to her. They were kind to her.
- Yes. And you know why? - You understand?
And so I just wanted to say thank you.
Because they follow the lead.
It's just what I'm telling them to do for you
because it's coming from me.
It was beautiful. It was, uh, it was beautiful.
And we have love. I have love. I forgive.
I don't wobble in pain. I don't wobble in, like,
people hurting me. I forgive them. I move on.
- Thank you, baby. Thank you. - And life goes on.
Oh, Lord. Pray for me.
Will you come talk to me, please?
- Oh, my God. Whitney... - Please?
Talk about what? First of all, you're not 100%.
- Just come talk to me. - Like, right now.
- Mary, I am-- - I can smell it on your breath.
Um, we're at a Vida Tequila event.
Of course you're gonna smell my event.
Okay, yeah, but I don't wanna talk to you
when you're not, like, like smell--
- But I wanna talk to you. - But I'll talk to you. I will.
Can you please come talk to me, Mary?
- About what? - I just wanna talk to you, babe.
- What do you want? - Just please give me a chance.
- Come talk to me. - God.
Come on.
Can I get a sober Whitney?
She's not rational thinking right now,
and I'm--I just... Ugh.
Just...
- Look at me, Mary. - What?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for talking about your church.
- I want you-- - Why'd you do it?
I did not say anything that's not already out there.
- I never... I never dug-- - That don't matter.
- It might--No, no, no. - No, but it does.
- It matters to me. - No, let me speak.
If you're gonna talk to me, I'm gonna say something, okay?
- Can I--Can I speak first? - My grandmother used to say,
"It's not the people that say it.
It's the people that carry it and believe it."
Listen, I would have not done that
had you not put me down first.
No, don't roll your eyes. Don't roll your eyes.
Okay, so I don't--I don't get-- Well, hold on.
Don't roll your eyes.
But don't validate yourself either.
- Babe-- - Don't put me in a space.
I'm not--I'm not a mean person.
Did Mary just say she is not a mean person?
Your mean and my means are two different definition, okay?
- Don't make me like I'm just-- - But--But--
just coming to hurt and every--I don't hurt people.
- You told me-- - So don't tell me that, Whitney.
No, in Vail, you told me that...
- I didn't say that. - No, but hold on.
- Okay, no, this is about-- - No, shut up.
No, you ----ing shut up. Don't tell me to shut up, okay?
Excuse me. Did you just call me Jennie the hood?
- Mary, between you and I-- - Are you educated?
What did you just say? What did you just say?
- Yeah, hold-- - What did you say?
Oh, my God. Somebody get this away.
Mary, before this happens, between you and I--
Seriously? If you're gonna say it,
come say it to my face, Mary. - Yeah, but... No. Come on.
- You want me to follow you? - Yes.
Okay.
Mary, that's ----ing bullsh--.
You're not gonna walk away from me like I don't matter.
I do matter, and don't look at me
and say I'm from the hood.
You don't know what the hood is, Mary. You grew up in Utah.
You know what? I don't--I don't--
I was in the conversation. You were saying something.
I would like you to repeat what you said.
Don't go, "Oh, my God" and do your eyes thing.
- What you said about me? - I didn't sign up for you.
I was trying to have a conversation.
Oh, I didn't sign up for you either, so don't--Wait, wait.
I'm sorry, Whitney. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Whitney. I am sorry.
- But-- - Hey, no, don't walk away.
Be an adult and talk about this. Let's talk about it.
What did you say about me, Mary? Mary, what'd you say about me?
- I'm telling you, you hurt me. - I am not ----ing psycho, okay?
- I didn't say that. - You said you're gonna--
Well, then what did you say under your breath about me?
Okay, I don't take this.
- Oh, run away. Run away. - I am not doing this.
Run away, Mary! Run away! Run the [bleep] away
because you don't have nothing to say, Mary!
No.
Jennie, been there, done that.
Also, I think my glass went a little farther than yours.
Shut the [bleep] up about Mary!
I don't give a [bleep]!
But that was cute.
If you got something to say about me, say it to my face!
Jennie, come here.
- No, no, Jennie. - No!
- I'm getting away from her. - You guys, come here.
- She threw a glass at me. No. - Talk about this.
I will never talk to her.
- Whew. - Mary.
- Never. - Mary.
Can't believe you ----ing said sorry.
Jennie, come here.
She's gonna do it again, Whitney.
I gotta run. You got a maniac on the loose.
She's throwing glass.
I've never gotten a glass thrown at me from no one,
and the fact that no one even cared
was, like, too much.
Makes you wonder who are your friends and who's not.
- What I am ap-- - You talked to her
and apologized to her. - No, what I'm apologizing for
is that I called her church a cult.
- Is it not a cult? - That--
- It is not a cult? - I don't have the facts,
but I want her to know that I said that.
♪♪♪
- Mary's MIA. - She gone.
She may be little, but she's definitely feisty,
I'm so sorry, Lisa. I don't know--
I didn't mean to do any of that.
No, why? Why are you apologizing?
- I don't wanna ruin your party. - I don't care.
- [laughs] - You're not ruining my party.
Break some sh--. You're good. Just not my signs,
and not the embellished bottles. Please do not do that with that.
♪♪♪
So do you guys--
Do you guys remember that great idea that we all had
for our wives... - Oh, yeah.
going to Zion? I think it had its ups and downs.
The good news is they came back with their chakras aligned.
- They were totally balanced. - [laughs] It was not balanced.
Where are we gonna send 'em next?
- Farther? - [laughter]
I have wanted nothing more than for all of us to get along.
I don't wanna just be neutral.
I want all of us to be strong and friends.
- Can we be there? - Yes, hug.
Can we be there?
We can't rush 'em. You let the girls align
when they're ready to align. Let's just be here.
All right, to letting them align.
- Letting them align. - All alignment.
Let's have alignment.
Hey, I just want them all to get along
so we can all hang out. - Holy hell.
Meredith, are we friends?
Like, we're in this neutral space, but, like...
do you consider me your friend?
I'm just trying to know because it's confusing because
we are all friends and then you're in the group.
Yes, I can't give you the proper support
as a friend that I should. - Why?
Because I am still dealing with my own pain, my own trauma.
You're dealing with your pain and trauma,
but you can be friends with everyone else except me.
But, like, be clear with her
what the pain and trauma is about.
Like, the fact that Meredith's kind of invited you
into her life and it became too close for comfort very quickly,
and you felt betrayed.
I need you to tell her I did not talk about her marriage.
And it wasn't. But you get the point.
- Even if that's been bad-- - I'm not rehashing my marriage.
But I feel like that's where I'm coming from.
We're in a positive space, so if you're gonna go back there--
100%. We're not. It's about me and how you're treating me.
- Heather-- - It's not the time for negative.
[voice breaking] You're friends with everyone else,
but I'm neutral. - Nobody else here
did things that you did to my family.
You're the one that said all the stuff. It's not me.
- Yeah, in Vail. - And you crucified me for it.
Not in Vail. Last year.
Is Jen out of her mind? Like, she is the one who started
the conversation about Meredith's marriage last year.
If you're not getting it from home,
you're going to go somewhere else.
What is going on, Jen?
I don't know. You have to ask Meredith.
She may not have continued to talk about it,
but if you're the one that starts it,
you're the one to blame.
You guys are going back to try to harm my marriage again...
- No, I'm just saying-- - when I reconciled.
- Meredith, it's not about that! - Oh, I'm out, girls. I'm out.
Meredith, that's the thing. It's not about that.
Then stop talking about it.
I'm not going here, Jen.
I'm not going here.
We're not going anywhere. This is about my feelings.
Listen, Meredith, I think all
Jen is telling you is that, simply put...
- Jen. - she just wants to be
your friend, and she wants-- - Jen.
- What is the problem here? - Look at me.
What is it you all need to know? We discussed this last year.
- No one-- - You want me to talk about
the people that you all are dating?!
Because Seth and I dated other people?
Which part of that did you all not get?
You want me to talk about who you dated and who you dated?
- Nobody's talking about that! - And everyone else?!
- I'll go there! - Sharrieff's here, and Seth!
- What are you talking about?! - I've had enough.
Yes, I have been sent information
about some of the women having... extramarital affairs.
I didn't hear you yell a safe word.
Yeah, well, you missed it.
- You okay? - I'm fine.
♪♪♪
Let's go.
If these women wanna continue to talk
about one of my dark times...
I'll talk about who everybody dated
that nobody knows about!
trust, they have plenty of darkness surrounding them
that I'm more than happy to talk about.
Seth and I dated other people.
- Wow. - Okay, all right.
♪♪♪
Lisa...
- I know. I... - Okay?
That is not my fault, and I'm sorry.
Who's still here? Meredith runs off,
so if we're gonna crucify Mary Cosby for running off,
then we better do the same to Meredith.
♪♪♪
[whispers] Where's my car?
♪♪♪
Just a shot of vodka.
I wanna get blacked out. [laughing]
What?
♪♪♪
John, I can't tell you, like, how grateful I am for you.
- Like... no. - Oh, cheers. Don't worry.
Cheers. I'm glad you guys are here.
Cheers. We are thrilled to be invited.
My first Lisa Barlow invite.
- My first invite. - With many more to come.
That's sweet of you, J.B.
You know, we'll take it day by day.
Let's just take it day by day. [laughs]
♪♪♪
- I love you. - I love you, too.
I don't even know what they're fighting about. It's stupid.
I love you.
[indistinct conversations]
ANDY: Next week, a 3-part
"Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" Reunion.
Yes.
It's a massive audio issue.
I mean, this is what made the outfit, but it's fine.
- Yeah, you look plain now. - [laughter]
Mary chose not to join us tonight.
She was very upset that you called her a predator.
He told me that he had a relationship with her.
- I thought it was suspicious. - He barely said anything.
Let me talk, please.
You're threatening everyone, is what you're doing.
- Um... - That's how I see it.
Yep.
What it feels like on my end is like, "Hey, Jen,
we can treat you like sh--
'Cause you need all the friends you can get right now."
Well, you sh-- on me, and I still showed up for you.
You're always there for Mary, helping Mary.
Maybe that's because I felt
under attack by you the entire season.
♪♪♪
You called my husband a sugar daddy,
and you put me and the work I've done down.
[voice breaking] Why does it keep coming up?
You're being charged with fraud and money laundering.
And you're innocent until proven guilty.
Did you ever question where the money came from?
♪♪♪
There's one charge that's 30 years,
and one charge that's 20 years? Is that right?
I don't know.
You don't know what the charge is?
It kind of seemed like some sort of a truth dump for you.
- Like, it-- - No, it wasn't.
Do you think she's a whore?
- Do you think she's-- - No, I do not.
The venom and hatred that the delivery came with
is what resonated. I was sick.
You called us inbred polygamist cousins, Lisa.
I did not. I did not!
I can yell just as loud as you. I can poke just as far as you.
I can do this just as much as you.
- Just pile on... - Bitch.
- Don't call me "bitch." - You are a bitch!
I just feel like everybody here wants to break me all the time.