Previously on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City..."
It's the week to be Greek!
We're gonna have an amazing trip.
It's gonna be the best week of our lives.
Oh, my gosh. There's a step here.
[gasps] Oh, my -- oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh.
I've been a very, very good friend to you
for a very long time.
You lied, you lied.
Do you believe I lied?
If you wanna hold a grudge against me over it --
Hold a grudge?
No, but think about it.
Like, you guys had a miss.
-Can Meredith speak for herself? -Yeah.
Like, you speak for her.
Meredith, I don't think you have a problem.
I think you're the problem right now.
-Okay. Excuse me. -Meredith, are you leaving?
I'm obviously in trouble now for saying how I really felt.
♪♪♪
[church bell rings]
Rise and shine. -Hello.
WHITNEY: Happy mother's day!
It's mother's day!
Happy mother's day to you.
Mother, we need towels.
Can you call down? [laughs]
We need towels. -Who do I call?
A butler?
Yeah, will you call the butler?
Good morning, my little chirpies.
I need to heat up the cheese pie.
I want to have it with some milk, for sure.
Look at this great photo of me on the fridge.
It's a very nice photo of you.
-The friendship commandments? -I really like mine.
Wait, I don't understand.
These are our commandments?
Hear ye, hear ye, be a woman of your word.
Hear ye, hear ye, families are off-limits.
Hear ye, hear ye, stop the reactive abuse.
Okay, there's, like, red marks.
Are these things we've done?
Look, this is check a good thing or a bad thing.
I can't figure it out.
-What can't you figure out? -Oh, there you are.
What in the world? -What can't you figure out?
So does this mean we did it?
-Okay, so originally -- -Is a check a good thing?
Or a bad thing? -No, it's supposed to be
a funny thing like a reverse sticker chart.
Just made a little chart if we're all gonna stick to
our commandments we made.
So if I, you know, said something about someone's family
they could come and block that square.
What is this?
This is a reverse sticker chart.
You don't want to get marks for this.
We are truly always acting like kindergarteners
and this is what kindergarten teachers do.
It's a sticker chart.
So I think if you see your entire column is red,
that's bad.
Maybe that'll be like a little motivation
to change your behavior.
The people with the least marks...
We stuck to our amendments. You know what I mean?
-Yes, I'm already in the lead. -Lisa is not getting a prize.
Lisa's losing.
I'm hoping just sheer humility and embarrassment
will turn some of this behavior around.
I don't want any checks yet.
I want to have my record clean and pure.
Let's give Lisa more checks and then she can say,
I didn't do that, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed.
[Lisa's voice echoes] Dismissed, dismissed, dismissed.
ANGIE: Do you guys want to sit outside?
I'm gonna leave this open
so when I go potty, you guys can watch me.
Can you step out and fall into the water?
Oh, yeah.
I've got one foot on the edge and the other
on a banana peel.
LISA: What's up, girlies?
Hey, I might push her in.
After the way she's treated me
in my country.
In my country.
You sleep with the fishes.
How long have you guys been up?
-Too long. -Too long.
-Good morning. -Hi, Mary.
-How'd you sleep? -Good.
Happy mother's day.
Same, same, same.
-HMD. -Happy mother's day.
And we're all here on mother's day
without our kids.
We don't want to say we left our kids on mother's day.
You don't want to be in Greece on mother's day?
Without our kids?
I've never had a mother's day without them.
Best mother's day ever.
I mean, I honestly -- I know I'm not supposed to say that,
but like a mother's day that's me, on girl's trip
with no responsibilities?
This is the mother's day that they should have invented.
What are we gonna do? We'd have so much fun.
Facetime them all day and bring them with us.
Hello! We love you!
Mother's days are usually bittersweet for me.
And so, it's nice being around other mothers,
but at the same time it's a little difficult seeing
how other mothers relate to their kids
in an uncomplicated, normal way
when I have a really complicated nuanced relationship
with my daughters.
So it's nice to be distracted and it's like pouring salt
into the wound at the same time.
Can I point something out? -What?
Just that, like, we're light and bright and having fun
and there's one person that's missing.
[laughs] Okay, okay, okay. I'll shut up.
For real, did you talk to Meredith this morning?
I messaged her and then she didn't write me back.
Okay, so when I saw her,
she came up to get a coffee, she was mad-ish.
-Why? -I could just tell she was mad.
She came to try to get a coffee and she was like,
it's broken.
And she went upstairs. -Okay.
You know, Meredith still refuses to acknowledge
my experience and last night's dinner was no different.
I mean, I have no idea where we go from here.
I know I shouldn't keep having the same discussion
but I guess I'm just holding out hope
that Meredith will swallow her pride
for the sake of our friendship.
Angie, we're freezing. We wanna go get ready.
It's cold. Okay, let's go get dressed.
-But what are we doing? -We need to first find Meredith.
-Yeah. -I'm gonna go find her.
Lisa, Bronwyn, Mary, and myself are going to ride donkeys.
-Are you serious? -Yes!
Oh, my gosh! We're gonna go ride donkeys.
I thought I'd put asses on asses.
These two asses.
And then Meredith, Britani, Heather, and Whitney.
That's an interesting combo.
Are going to a Greek cooking class.
Do you hate me all of a sudden?
I love you.
Even though I'm really frustrated with Meredith,
it might be nice to spend some good one on one
time with her.
Are there not enough donkeys on the island for all of us?
Because every time Meredith opens her mouth,
Lisa is piping in and speaking for her.
So maybe she'll actually sit down and talk to us.
[knock on door]
-Hi. -You okay?
I'm very over tired and I'm tired of being
treated like I'm a piece of dirt on the ground.
So what do you want to do?
I don't really know.
The way Whitney and Heather have treated me
over these last several weeks, shows her character.
It speaks to who they are.
They are mean girls.
And I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of it.
I'm just -- I'm not in the mood.
I'm not in the mood to deal with them.
I mean, like, Whitney, she's not my friend.
I'm very tired of Whitney making these false accusations on me.
If you're gonna call me a liar, let's do it. Alcoholic.
Pill popper.
It's exhausting.
They are damaging and she needs to worry about herself
and her own life and stop projecting it onto me.
-I honestly don't think -- -It gives me the heebie-jeebies.
...that she's taken full accountability for how
she hurt you. -No. She didn't hurt me, Mary,
'cause I don't care about her opinion.
But I also feel like you need to tell her how you feel.
-Well, we'll see. -End of the day,
we gotta get through this. We have to.
How else are we gonna survive?
Have you, um, ridden these donkeys before?
Oh, yeah. Shawn and Elektra and I did these last time
we were here and it's so fun.
-Okay. -You're gonna love it.
It's a must in Santorini.
Okay, let's go.
Follow the flag so we don't lose each other.
You guys, wait for me.
No, you're always late, Lisa.
You're gonna make me walk the streets of Greece by myself?
Hurry, Lisa just got out of glam.
How are you?
So you're going cooking, cooking, me, me, cooking,
cooking, donkey, you're with me.
Meredith, how did you feel about the groups?
About the, uh, groups of who I'm going with?
Yes, the pairing off of the groups.
Um, not real positive.
Oh, lord.
Well, it was -- it was in hopes of positive outcome.
I mean, if you guys all who, where there's tension in
the group, don't get together, and, you know, make amends
or find resolve, then, the rest of the trip won't be fun.
Given Meredith's mood, I'm actually doing her a favor.
I mean, donkeys are like, you know,
horses are highly sensitive, like, it could throw her off.
[donkey brays]
Ever since the plane, it's clear that
how I speak is not okay, no one wants to hear
what I have to say.
I've been told not to speak,
I've been told that the way I speak isn't good enough,
I'm apparently too educated and speak too eloquently.
It had nothing to do with your education.
I, too, am educated.
It had to do with the fact that you're being pretentious
and not connecting with me as a friend.
You were dictating to me. You were, like, teaching me.
It was condescending. And I did imitate you
because it was ----ing frustrating.
It's not my job to get you to be a friend to me.
Hello?
Hi, honey. It's my son wishing me a happy mother's day.
I know. Hold on one second. It's -- it's my daughter.
Sweetie. Sweetie, I -- sweetie, I know.
I know you're 22 but -- mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
No, you just have to smooth the dollar out before
you put it into the vending machine.
Happy mother's day to you too, darling, I love you.
Mommy loves you sweetie. Mommy loves you.
What -- were we doing something important here?
Oh, a thousand pardons.
When my child calls, I answer it,
and if you have a problem with that what's wrong with you
as a mother?
She's taking a phone call.
I love you. I'm getting yelled at to hang up the phone
♪♪♪
I want to be with my family.
I don't want to be here right now.
That's how I feel. -You are --
It's mother's day, I'd like to talk to my children,
and be with my family.
I'm happy in Greece. Just saying.
-Same. -I love you, Jack and Henry.
I love you, girls, but greetings from Greece.
It's very normal to take a phone call
and I just wanted a couple of minutes
to hear a happy mother's day from my son because it was
the only opportunity I'd have to speak to him.
Pretty disappointing.
Look, I'm upset because I felt like I got raked over the coals
and I felt like all of my track record
was thrown out the window and it totally crushed me.
And then, you never could even, like, deeply apologize
or see that it hurt me.
You talked your way out of it,
you made it seem like it was quid pro quo
when it absolutely wasn't.
And that's okay. We can [bleep] up.
I will maybe step outside my comfort zone and say,
I ----ed up. I'm sorry and I love you
and I do not want to put our friendship at risk.
But I did not get that from you and it makes me
question when the next morning I wake up
and I'm still in trouble, still getting cold shouldered like
I'm in trouble for you not being okay.
And I'm not okay.
I am sorry.
I don't know what else to say other than that.
So is it just me you have tension with or I mean,
you're with Whitney and Britani, too.
Let's talk about the real issue.
Whitney, her feelings are hurt because
like, she's basically --
You are, once again, are doing this.
This is what I said happens every time.
She goes gray rock and you pick it up and you speak for her.
No, I'm just saying.
Say what you mean because this is why we're gray rock
because nobody's saying what they mean.
Why do you feel like I'm always after you, Meredith?
You are, Whitney.
No, you can't say that I am 'cause I'm not.
You're spreading rumors that I have mental health
or substance abuse issues.
I'm not interested in your opinions anymore.
Meredith, don't be an ice queen, like, feel with your heart
what your friend is saying to you.
She is projecting lies onto me, like, I'm not interested.
There, you said it.
That's her experience.
Can you please help me understand
why you feel that way?
'Cause you called her a pill popper.
Because you said she's a cheater, because this.
I want to hear from Meredith, Lisa.
I feel like this is so unfair for me.
I'm sure you do, Whitney, and I'm sorry you feel that way.
-Great, let's go. -Okay, love it. GTFO.
Have fun with your baklava.
Everyone, come on. We're gonna have a great time.
What do you think those letters mean on the door?
WHITNEY: Come in. Welcome.
You think they're house numbers?
Meredith? Are you leaving?
I have nothing left to say.
What in the world?
I don't know what to do. Do we just go?
Or do we sit here in the sun and wait for her?
No.
She's not coming. Let's go have fun.
She's gonna have to walk this whole path again
in her heels and her miniskirt.
Welcome.
-Hi. -Hello!
My name is Ivanna. Welcome, you know,
for our cooking lesson.
-So glad to meet you. -So nice to meet you.
Hi, I'm Heather. Hi.
-Nice to meet you. -Hello. I'm Whitney.
Welcome to the most beautiful place, you know?
We are so excited to be here.
Are you from Santorini?
No, I am came in actually from Crete.
From Crete! Our friend Angie's from Crete.
I am half-Greek, half-Italian. I'm like a Greek salad.
A Greek salad. Love it.
Giovanni's kind of giving a Zeus vibe.
Like, not the Greek god I imagined.
But he will definitely do.
Our friend Angie is Greek and her family is from Crete.
-Yes. -Really?
-That's why we're here. -We have a lot to talk about.
She's going to be joining us later, right?
And hopefully, at that point Meredith will have joined.
Maybe she went off to ride the donkeys.
Donkey riding in a miniskirt would be itchy.
[horn honks]
[brakes squeal]
Hi, how are you? It's so nice to meet you.
Hi, so nice to meet you. Are the donkeys nice?
Yes.
-Do they bite? -Bite?
-Yes, do they bite? -Yes, of course.
Oh, they bite? Okay.
-Did he say yes, they bite? -Yes, they bite for real?
Will they bite me? Bite in Greece.
He keeps saying of course. -No, no.
They're not gonna bite you. -How do you say that?
How do you say that in Greek? -They don't bite.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
Boy or girl?
I've never been on a donkey before.
She looks like a snippy little bitch.
She's beautiful.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you.
It's hard not to look cute standing next to an ass.
-Now? -Okay, I can get on?
-Of course. -Okay.
Oops. Let me get my shoe in.
One, two, oops. Ah, I get on horses all the time.
Usually I can...
Okay, okay. Ah.
Yeah.
Come on. Come on.
I love it.
Oh, look at this.
What do you call a donkey that has a degree?
-What? -A smart ass.
Oh, that's a good one.
When my dad lived in his village,
this is the transportation they had.
-Oh, my gosh. -They didn't even have cars.
This is how they got around.
Yeah. And he would pack the mule with groceries.
And walk it 17 miles down the mountain when he was 10,
barefoot, mind you. -17 miles.
And then, he would take loads of groceries and food.
And trade it for other things that they needed.
Oh, my gosh.
This is more than a donkey ride through Santorini.
For me, it's so much deeper than that.
Because it's like getting a glimpse at my dad's childhood.
I picture this 10-year-old little boy
and how grateful he was just to have a donkey
while we drive Porsches and Range Rovers.
I mean, we're all so blessed with our lives.
Is anybody else not enjoying this besides me?
Why don't you like it, Mary?
I mean, I feel bad for this little boy that I'm --
I feel like I'm on his back.
Oh, my -- not upstairs.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
No.
I don't like this.
I just didn't see Greece coming with riding a donkey.
No. Oh, my --
You've got these beautiful views, you've got the water,
and my outfit's cute, too.
I look cute.
On a donkey.
Oh, my God!
HEATHER: Coming up...
Am I allowed to, like, be upset for five minutes?
We knew that we were going to be in Greece on mother's day.
♪♪♪
And now the surprise.
-Hello. -Hello!
-George. -Nice to meet you.
George.
George is cooking a traditional, you know,
Greek and Mediterranean taste. -Okay, he's the chef.
-Yes. -Okay.
So nice to meet you. Hello.
So tell us everything. What are we making today?
Moussaka, Greek moussaka.
Greek moussaka.
Okay.
-Hi. -Welcome, welcome.
You are welcome.
-Oh, thank you. -Please.
I have no choice but to go back.
I'm stranded otherwise.
It's not exactly what I want to do, but...
Where else am I going?
I can't walk back.
-My name is Giovanni. -Meredith.
Pleasure to meet you. -George.
And we're doing a beautiful cooking lesson here.
-Lovely. -Please.
Well, thank you for welcoming me.
You're welcome.
Enjoying a little bit of the wine.
Please, my dear. -Thank you.
You're welcome.
-Yamas. -Yamas.
[glasses clink]
-One more. Yamas. -Yamas.
The tomato comes from Santorini.
We make a paste.
Oh, my gosh. I love it. Can I hold it?
Yes, please.
Oh, my gosh.
This is a beautiful history from here.
We've got salt.
-Look at that. -Yeah.
So the ladies they start to make moussaka now.
Oh!
I'm making my own moussaka in my own little terrine?
-Exactly. -Oh, I love this.
With a little bit help from us.
So first, we put the fried potato.
A little salt and pepper.
We put on the top as well eggplant.
-Okay. -Oh.
Watch me place this eggplant.
-The next. -The meat.
Exactly.
And the last -- you're welcome.
It's lovely.
I am okay.
Oh, you're so kind.
Sad, I miss my son on mother's day
I won't get to talk to him.
[sniffles]
-Well, she's not happy. -No, I'm not happy.
It's gonna be okay.
No, it's not changing.
Brooks is on a flight.
I will not speak to him on mother's day.
That was my chance to talk to him.
And I'm sad.
That's the one thing that's very important to me.
And I'm hurt and I'm sad.
Well, I didn't get to talk to my kids for three years so.
Anyhow.
Like, really?
You can't even feign happiness for our sweet host here?
Like, he's working his little heart out.
Look how strong. You're so strong. That's heavy.
I don't know. It just feels like Meredith is just using this
not being able to talk to Brooks thing
as deflection to not have to answer hard questions.
I'm sorry you missed the opportunity.
I wonder how cooking's going.
Not as fun as this.
I can't imagine well.
I feel like these little things become exacerbated
but like there are situations that can all be resolved
with a conversation.
And I think it can be overwhelming when you're in it.
But the thing is is in a friendship
you have to be comfortable being fallible.
Like as people we make mistakes
and if you want to have a deep friendship
with someone you have to let them see
the parts of you that aren't good.
As hard as it is, she also needs to own
what she has said not just wait for you
to come to her rescue and you to talk her way out of it.
You have been helping her and maybe you should step back
so she has to find her voice.
It's so hard for me to step back.
She wants you to keep doing that for her
so she doesn't have to do it.
And that's the thing is Meredith and Heather
have to figure it out for themselves
íf they're going to have a relationship.
You can't figure it out for them.
I hear what you guys are saying.
It's going in one ear and out the other.
I'm like a real, loyal friend.
I'm never going to stop defending Meredith.
I'm a great friend to her. She's a great friend to me.
I don't know. I'm praying for Meredith.
♪♪♪
Welcome, welcome. Opa.
I'm Giovanni. You are welcome.
Hi, Giovanni.
-How are you doing? -So nice to meet you.
Who's the Greek one?
I am the Greek.
-Hey! -Hey!
Oh, you smell like donkey.
Wait, it does smell like donkey.
Welcome, ladies.
[speaking Greek]
From Crete.
Welcome...[speaks Greek]
We start with the salad.
Oh, thank you.
Amazing!
This is a tomato frittas.
[speaking Greek]
Cheers, friends. To friendship.
-Friendship. -How was donkey riding?
I love donkey riding so much.
I loved my donkey.
I thought we had fun, but you guys coming back
you have twice as much energy as us.
Like, they're out lapping us.
So did you guys get anywhere, though, seriously?
-What do you mean? -Just anywhere.
Like, you guys didn't talk?
Well, Meredith expressed that she was upset
about mother's day.
You wanna tell her that part, Meredith?
Just that I'm not gonna get to talk to my son.
Just made me sad 'cause it's been a bit of
a rough day and would've been...
nice for me. -Join the club.
-Exactly. -But that was not true.
You're upset about all of it.
Of course I was upset about all of it.
Correct. That's what I was saying to you.
When it comes to your emotions, I think it has really nothing
to do with mother's day, it has to do with, like,
our feelings with our friendships.
Am I allowed to, like, be upset for five minutes?
You don't get to use that to detour so we're all
begging you to be a part of the group again.
And I'm here and I'm showing up for my friends,
and I'm showing up for my girl,
and I'm having a great time because we knew
that we were going to be in Greece on mother's day.
We all chose to be here.
We need to go back to ground zero
and that is Whitney and Meredith are not
getting along because Whitney feels one way
and Meredith feels another way.
What I said about you --
Meredith, look at me.
What I said about pill popping and alcoholism
is a very slippery slope and it's not appropriate.
And so, I'm sorry that I called you those names, Meredith.
Okay, great.
I should've never
called Meredith those things.
But that doesn't take away my concern for my friend.
So there we go. We're making head way.
Yeah.
Opa. Yamas.
Yamas! Opa!
Thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
Bye-bye.
Now that's the man you should be looking
to get a phone number.
How do you know I don't already have it, guys?
Did you see his Rolex?
Okay, you guys. Let's go and get ready for dinner.
Just kidding.
It's so beautiful.
I keep almost falling asleep. Is anybody else tired?
-Nope. Not tired one bit.
Ready to run a ----ing marathon.
I haven't even -- Whitney's like, are you ever gonna shower?
But are you?
I shower every day. -Oh, my God. But are you?
I do it when you're not in the room.
A 10-2 and a shower.
What does that even mean?
Meredith does a 10-1-2 every time and she shouts it
from the rafters. -What does that mean?
Is that true, Meredith?
-Huh? I was sleeping. -Is that true?
Yes, it's true.
So what is a 10-1-2?
Tell her, Meredith.
Pee.
A 10-1-2 is a pee and a poo.
Oh, I forgot about the 2 part.
I only do the 10-1.
Angie did a 10-2 before we went on the donkey
and I had to use the men's room
'cause she was taking so long. -I did not.
I did a five second 10-1.
And then your donkey did a big old 10-2.
He did 'cause mine did one after Bronwyn's
and mine had a normal bowel movement.
Hers had diarrhea.
Oh, geez.
-Good luck? -Oh, it's watery.
♪♪♪
Okay, let's go get in the pool, grab a drink,
get our swimsuits on.
Wine.
We're gonna do that right now.
Oh, the perfect time of day.
Is it a pool party?
[speaks Greek]
Well, how 'bout this?
-We got tequila. -Oh, I'm not drinking that.
I only drink my own.
Oh, no, Meredith, it's a pool party.
Not a business meeting. I'm so sorry.
You probably mixed up the invitations.
Well, hello, honey.
Oh, damn!
How 'bout an applause for the reveal?
-Okay, that was a good one. -You went for funniest.
That's a cute swimsuit.
I'm trying to reset, restart,
have some fun,
and hopefully, we get through this time.
This is nice.
What do I have to do?
Just come with me around the corner.
Let's have a doggy paddle race.
I'm betting on Whitney.
I'm betting on Whitney, too.
Are you guys ready? -Yes.
On your mark,
get set, go!
You guys have a slow start. What is this?
How did I even bet on this?
Faster, faster!
She's catching up! Hurry. Go, go!
Inspired by Meredith Marks.
She's gonna put her foot through the skirt!
I know.
Here we go. This is the Meredith we've been waiting for.
Come on out, man. Come on out.
Come on out, girl.
I don't understand the switch,
but God, I'll take it.
I love it.
And this for Mrs. Marks.
Mrs. Marks!
That is so sweet.
I don't like flowers. Is that crazy?
I never want flowers as a gift.
Because they die. I want, like, stuff.
MARY: Meredith, those are beautiful.
Who's it from?
-Happy mother's day. -I know.
Happy mother's day, everyone. -Happy mother's day, everybody.
Do you usually come here and get other cuisines?
No, we -- well, actually, Elektra gets sushi.
Elektra's rejecting everything Greece.
She really is.
Does she identify as Greek?
Well, right now she identifies mostly as just
with her horse stuff.
That's like her life. She's a teenager.
School friends. -It's your school friends.
And then she rides five and six days a week.
Sneaking miniskirts into your bag.
Did you guys ever change at school? I did.
-I did. -I did twice and I got busted
the second time and I wanted to die.
Oh, my gosh.
When did you have your first kiss?
Do you remember? -Yeah.
Heather got one of the hottest guys in our high school.
And they dry humped.
Wait, here's a funny -- -You dry humped. What?
I don't think this shrimp got dewormed.
Speaking of first kisses,
Bronwyn, have you ever kissed a girl?
-Yes. -Ooh.
How many?
A handful.
My gosh.
Did you go to second base?
Yeah, I've done more than just kiss girls.
Second base?
I've done more than everybody here with a girl.
How 'bout that, are we clear?
-I've never kissed a girl. -I've never kissed a girl.
Okay, well, can we get Whitney out here, please?
Here she is.
-Come and help me. -Why do you need help?
They're asking me if I ever kissed a woman.
The only person out here with anything to share.
Can you sit down and answer some questions?
The rest of us have morals.
-Oh, that's cute. -How did I know that was coming?
I mean, I've been told since my first kiss
that I'm a great kisser.
I liked it.
Bronwyn must be kind of dry out there
if the peck got her excited.
So none of you have kissed a girl?
-No. -No.
-Would you want to? -No.
I have kissed hundreds, though.
-What? -Hundreds of women?
No! Of men. That's as slutty as I get is first base.
You said hundreds?
Like 367.
How do you keep count? On your Excel sheet?
Yes. I've been doing a spreadsheet thing since college.
300?
That's how many members are in my church.
What was the worst rule you guys broke
in your households growing up?
My mother was out of town -- I'm not even sure
she knows this till this day.
So I hope mom never hears this.
I'm calling BG tomorrow.
So when she was out of town,
we had the most crazy massive party.
When I was in high school, I was the youngest,
like everyone was older than me.
And then, we broke...
...this dish. That's how we got in trouble.
Ooh.
You broke a dish.
And yeah.
Oops. Sorry, mom.
Jeeves! Bring us the glue.
This is -- I cannot believe this story.
It only took her, what, 40 years to admit
she broke that dish?
Love you.
Meredith's gonna be a grandma being like,
one time on a plane I totally overreacted.
Nobody else has any stories?
The Greek nightlife is calling.
Should we go change, get ready, and go out?
It is getting late.
So what are we all -- so what are we wearing?
Are we going boardroom, bikinis?
No boardroom, no, no, no.
We're gonna let it loose tonight, Meredith,
don't you dare come out in a blazer.
I'm gonna be boardroom.
Sexy, Grecian vibes.
Maria...
Hi, that's what I'm gonna call you from now on.
Ooh. I love it. Oh, my gosh. -I don't have my shoes on.
I'm just gonna wear some sparkly flats.
You look good.
-You ready? -No.
I'm gonna stay here.
I just need rest. I have to rest.
The jetlag's been rough this time around, huh?
You just tired.
Okay, well, get your jammies on.
You've got your blankie. -I do.
See ya.
I love making marks on that.
Did you make this mark here?
That's for Whitney. Move it over.
Oh, you've been giving your marks away
to someone else?
Scratching that mark out.
You look like you are some sort of Austrian
pummel thrower.
You look like you can do the shot put.
And you better watch your face!
There goes my Prada bag.
Gold! Gold medal.
Oh, I ripped my purse when I threw it.
Ladies, let's head on out.
-Hi Niko! -Niko!
Oh, my gosh. Watch out, watch out.
Everybody in?
All my stepkids woke up.
Svetlana, how do you find America?
Oh, you do look like Svetlana.
This is our Eastern European Olympian.
Svetlana and this is her handler and agent.
If she gets messy, if she's like sh--faced,
you can call her a high body count drunk.
But guess what?
I trademarked.
I trademarked high body count.
You did? That's not yours. You can't trademark that.
I stole it.
I'm asking my attorney if we can take her trademark.
Britani, why would you do that?
I was the one that took it on the chin.
That's why.
I think that's super embarrassing
that you would go and -- -That's a little hardcore.
No, it is embarrassing that you would take
something someone else said and patent it.
The person who has not had a witty line
other than ting ting ting in her entire life
trademarks my line?
That was, like, high body count hair.
To try and make money off it?
She's the side cart on my car
trying to get on my gravy train.
You're not flattered by it at all?
-Not at all. -Were you gonna trademark it?
All's fair in love and trademarks.
Sorry, Angie. Don't be a sore loser.
I'm not that mad. I just think it's kind of embarrassing
and weird that you would do that.
I'm the one that had the hair ratted.
You should make like -- -So you think people want
their hair to look like this? Is that what you're saying?
As a joke. Yeah.
-Britani. -What's wrong with my hair?
I love my hair.
You hair's gotten better. It's still way too long
for your age, no offense. -Are you kidding me?
Mine's a little too long for mine. Yeah.
In fact, when I look at you, it makes me wanna cut my hair.
No, when I see Britani's hair, I'm like, oh, my God,
my hair's almost as long as Britani's.
And I -- just like it looks a little cheap, I'm not even --
I'm just being totally honest.
And it makes me wanna cut my hair.
♪♪♪
ANGIE: Okay, guys, we're here!
Thanks, Niko.
Yo, friends.
Let's go out! -Yes!
HEATHER: Oh, Tango!
You guys, this is so beautiful.
This is even a better view than we had last night.
You know in the summer this is like insane, amazing.
Have you been here in the summer?
I've only been off a boat here once.
This is so pretty.
Wait. Do you guys want to hear our new business venture?
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Meredith asked me if my straw worked,
could I drink out of my straw?
And I said, it would be great if I had a flask inside
that you could drink out of. -Right.
And then Meredith said...
So we're gonna patent ting ting ting
we don't have an announcement because it's secret.
-I love that. -Oh!
Congratulations.
That is so creative.
Very high body count.
But Britani, it's embarrassing that you would do that.
That's like Ditzerella.
Ditzerella.
Seriously.
Didn't we have a high body count party for her
to support her with her hair?
We did.
Look how, like, Britani's all proud of herself, like,
it was, like, she came up with it.
I am proud of myself. I think it's fantastic.
You have bad hair.
And I said it.
I think that you're, like,
strangely jealous of my hair.
What?
Maybe your hair doesn't curl easily?
I mean, I don't know.
No one has any problem with my hair other than you.
I'm in my lane, babe.
Like, maybe there's something about me that is threatening.
I don't -- I literally don't know why you're so
obsessed with my hair, my trademarks, my business moves.
All of that. What's the deal?
There's no jealousy. I think I've been really nice to you.
Except for in the van on our way here.
I think it's really weird that you trademarked
somebody else's line. -Lisa, isn't it ----ing weird?
It's not someone else's TM.
It is my line.
Oh, so just because you thought of the same thing
I'm supposed to give up my trademark to you?
Hell no.
She didn't think of the same thing.
She said it first. -About me.
But you didn't think of it. Here's the thing.
You had some crazy ass hair and she made fun of it,
she said it.
Angie did not invent high body count hair.
She said it in a funny way.
So if somebody said you look like a slut.
What?
Do you now own the word slut?
I was smart enough to do it first.
Oh, God.
I wasn't smart enough?
Now you sound like a fool, Britani.
A high body count's supposed to be funny.
I have a high body count outfit on,
but low body count hair, like, that's funny.
And to sit and attack over and over
how someone looks and like it just --
I know Meredith doesn't like what happened to her.
I don't like it when it happens to me.
I didn't say anything about her hair or her bronzer.
Don't lump everybody --
Meredith and I didn't say anything about her looks.
Neither of us said anything.
Don't make this a group conversation.
So she can dish it out to everyone else,
but can't take it 'cause she does.
There's a reason everyone chimes in.
Look around us right now.
We are in Greece.
We're supposed to be out having fun and instead,
we're hyperfocused on trademarks and hair.
Let's be done with the conversation then.
-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm okay.
Okay, then, that's all that matters.
Cheers to Santorini!
To Santorini!
Whoo!
BRONWYN: Happy mother's day!
BRITANI: I'm trademarking that.
[laughter]
WHITNEY: Next time on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
-Oh, wait. Whoa. -Watch out.
It's under the door.
Uh-oh. I've slipped a nip.
It'll be fine.
I'm a little worried about. I'm concerned.
I was told that she was non-stop
drinking all day and night.
She's suffering and I can see it.
I haven't even said what the [bleep] it is yet!
Shut up and let me talk. -You shut the [bleep] up.
Don't ever talk like that to me again.
Stop right now. -I love you.
But you -- -Stop!