Previously on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
We're going to Bermuda.
My family is from there, and I have family there now.
Cheers to Bermuda, bitches.
-Bermuda! -Cheers!
I fight very dirty, and I say things I don't mean.
I don't ever want it to go that low again.
And that's why I apologize,
'cause I need to learn a different way.
You're fine. Okay.
It just feels really fake.
Like, why are you going up to Heather
and giving her a gift when I'm your good friend?
Whitney and Lisa just stormed outta here.
-They stormed out? -Everything is about you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry for your loss.
***
[barking]
***
[motor rumbling]
***
Oh, what to pack?
***
[cellphone rings]
Hi.
She's like, "I wanna answer it."
Oh, my gosh. What are you doing?
I'm bleaching my mustache and trying to help my eyes, girl.
I'm getting ready for Bermuda.
Lookit, Kendall's helping me.
They seem like they're wonderful helpers.
[laughs]
***
[roller squeaking]
***
[squeaking continues]
Will you check the weather in Bermuda, please?
[squeaking continues]
I know daytime will be warm, but what's nighttime like?
Google it. Let's see.
[squeaking continues]
[bird screeches]
***
This is gonna look so good on you.
All right, Celia, what do you think?
-Hello. -Thank you so much.
-You're so welcome. -Okay.
I'm gonna need your opinion since Shawn's not here.
What do you think? Is this too...
-Love it. No. -Is this too loud and proud?
-Okay. -No. It's amazing.
***
Hey, Justin, is my orange 2-piece--
like the really bright, bright orange 2-piece in there?
-This one? -Yes.
[sighs]
I just have not had the energy to shop for this.
-Are you gonna be okay? -Well...
Is this a trip you wanna be on?
Um...Yeah. I mean, I was excited to finally
go out of the country with my friends,
but it's just hard because I'm just irritated
with, like, with Lisa because at Meredith's,
like, I'm mourning the loss of my best friend.
And so for Lisa to just blow me off
and, like, gift Heather in front of me,
then look at me as an afterthought,
I was really mad because I feel like
I'm just always there for Lisa in her moments.
Yeah. I'm sorry, babe.
***
[jet roaring]
***
[indistinct P.A. announcement]
***
They're cute, right?
Oh, my God. I'm dying. You look so adorable.
I have not talked to Lisa since Meredith's event,
nor do I want to.
I'm just gonna take my sleeping pill
and fall asleep on this plane to Bermuda.
Let's go to the lounge and get some food and drinks.
You guys have your sunglasses? I found my...
So, I put one of those little patches on it,
and then I was like, I can't be traveling with this.
-Oh, I love it. -So, I put on it, but it was,
like, not even, so then I had to put three on it.
-Oh, my gosh. I love it. -Does it look--
I'm checking in your sunglasses.
I think it looks amazing. Hi!
It'll be gone by the time we land.
We're going to Bermuda!
Bermuda, baby.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
I've never been to Bermuda.
To be honest, the only things I've heard about Bermuda
are kinda scary.
Pirate ships, sunken treasure.
I bet we find Lisa's ring.
Why do I have this horrible looming feeling
that I will never be seen again? -[music warps and stops]
***
[jet roaring]
***
[jet roaring]
***
-Jonathan. -Nice to meet you, Jonathan.
Nice to meet you, my love. Let me take...
-Oh, my gosh. -Oh!
HEATHER: Wait. The wheel's on the wrong side.
***
Here, you guys. I have champagne.
-Awesome. -[bottle pops]
[squeals]
Guys, do I know how to pop bottles,
or do I know how to pop bottles in the car?
That's perfect pour, Whitney Rose.
Excuse me. Is it possible to make
the temperature a little bit warmer?
No, sir. No, Jon--don't-- Jon, do not listen to Meredith.
She's not in charge of the trip. Monica and I are. Here we go.
-[laughs] -Cheers.
To warm weather! Warm bones.
-Bermuda, baby. -[singsongy] Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
***
-It is absolutely beautiful. -Look at this.
Literally, this is, like, so pretty.
Meredith, we are all in an island.
We are--We're in full clothes.
If you need a blanket or a coat, I will warm your legs.
You're gonna be...
We'll get--someone get--let's get a space heater in her room.
Monica, that's what we needed, is a blanket for our friend.
-And drink your coffee, my love. -Yeah, bundle up.
You're just coming down off of the Benzos.
This is what happens when I give you a Xanax before a flight.
WHITNEY: I don't know if it's the sleep aids
she took on the first flight
or all of the cocktails she drank on the first flight.
We all took the same sleeping pill.
ANNOUNCER OVER P.A.: Please have your passport out and open
along with your boarding pass when you approach.
But then Meredith took it twice on accident.
***
HEATHER: Do you notice the, like, fluorescent orange
when we started to approach the island?
-Did you see that in the water? -ANGIE: No.
-She says it's the coral reef. -Oh.
Isn't that why the pink sand beaches are the way they are?
The organisms are, like...
Jonathan, why are the sands pink?
-Oh, my gosh, it's pink sh--. -Oh, my gosh.
***
Can someone help Obi-Wan Kenobi over here?
-Because I can't. -[laughs]
-Are you at all cold? -Not like this.
-No, no. -You guys,
it's "Weekend at Bernie's" for Meredith.
MONICA: Ahh!
***
Oh, my gosh! Look at it.
-[cheering] -Heather, you did so well.
-Aah! -Yay!
***
-LISA: Heather, you did amazing. -ANGIE: Look at this.
-Oh, oh! -Little cocktails waiting.
-Afternoon, ladies. -Hi.
Ooh, thank you. Is this the rum?
-Ooh, I love this. -All right.
-It's a rum drink. -Yes. Welcome.
-Welcome to Bermuda. -Oh, look at this view.
-Thanks for having us. -Welcome to the residence.
-Ooh! You did good, Heather. -Thank you.
-Oh... -Insane.
...my...gosh.
It's like an actual ----ing mansion.
Like, it could fit, like, 700 of my houses.
***
[laughs]
Oh.
LISA: This is, like, amazing.
MONICA: Wait, this one has a cute little balcony.
ANGIE: Wow.
MONICA: This house is so beautiful!
-WHITNEY: This is gorgeous. -MONICA: This is cute, too.
-LISA: Yes. -ANGIE: Oh, wow.
-Everyone has their own room. -Okay. Thank you.
-Good one. -Wow.
I could see myself here.
Guys, every single room is spectacular.
-So, go and stake your claims. -Run!
***
Racing to pick rooms. Seriously?
I'm bundled up and a mess.
Just give me a room with a bathtub,
and then they can go play their little games.
Okay. I'm putting mine in here.
***
Dumping my stuff.
[bell dings]
***
Meredith, that's not your room. That's Lisa's room.
LISA: This is the one I tagged.
***
This is really nice. This one's beautiful, too.
-It's so pretty. -Oh, Meredith wants a tub.
Wait, what rooms did you guys take?
[music warps down]
***
Oh, my gosh, everyone, this is delicious.
-[gasps] -Food.
Oh, food.
***
Gotta get some goat cheese and cranberries.
The turkey and Brie with cranberry--I see it.
It's this one right here. Love.
I'm gonna take a little rest. I'm not feeling great.
I'll see you guys later.
All right, let us know if you need anything.
Mer, what room are you in so we can check on you?
Do you want us to check in on you?
I don't know. Whichever one was left without a bathtub.
***
-Okay. -Oh.
All righty, then. I'm gonna try these potatoes.
The trip is ruined. Meredith Marks does not
have a bathtub, so we might as well go home now.
Pack your bags, kids. Let's go. Pack it up. Trip's over.
***
Coming up...
I've never looked at it as like, oh, my gosh.
I feel like I'm a better person with Whitney Rose.
You know what makes me feel like a better person?
God and my husband.
Unless Jesus Christ comes walking across that water,
[upbeat island-style music playing]
***
I'm gonna go down by the pool.
I'll be down by the pool with you in a minute.
Where do you wanna sit?
We should sit right here.
Maybe I should make Meredith, like, a little plate.
Hey, what do you think this is?
***
LISA: Um, a tomato?
-On a fruit skewer? -I don't know.
Tomatoes are fruit.
Is it a tomato? I think it's a tomato.
Would you put a tomato on a fruit skewer?
-No, but it looks pretty. -Or a shish kabob with meat.
I'm just gonna go check on Meredith real quick.
Why don't you just come out here and chill...
-Yeah. -...and let her sleep?
-She's upset. -Can you fix it?
That's what I'm trying to do. So, I'll be back. Yeah.
-[sips loudly] -That's nice of her.
Look at this. Here we are. No kids, no husbands.
Have you had a chance to talk to Lisa?
No.
Love to.
How are you and Whitney?
I left Meredith's event upset.
-You guys haven't talked? -No.
I'm like, I'm not talking right now.
I do not wanna put you in the middle,
so don't answer if you're not comfortable.
But has Lisa said anything to you?
She just told me she left Meredith's event.
She was very upset about it.
I sent her a text, and she never responded to me.
She obviously has some feelings about it.
It took me years to break through to Lisa.
I feel like me being
that positive person in her life was the pivotal moment,
and she became this better version of herself.
Thank you for supporting the Special Olympics with me.
-Fun time and... -Oh, Whitney, anything for you.
1, 2, 3. Aah!
[cheering]
But right now I am not happy where things are at with Lisa.
It feels like all of that is out the door.
Whitney said that she's been helping you,
like, not make it all about you
and that she's, like, really proud of you for, like,
not reacting strongly to things and, like...
Wait. What are you talking about?
...how you're changing the way you are.
Wait, what? What are you talking about?
-She said she was proud of you. -For what?
She basically said, "You'd be shocked if you knew
the hard way--the hard talks I have with Lisa
and how well she's doing and how proud I am of her."
What kind of hard conversations? No, no.
Like, she's, like, helping you be intuitive and healing...
-No. -...and coaching you on how
to not react to things and help, you know, be friends with me.
When did you have this conversation with her?
-Like, three days ago. -You're kidding me.
You're becoming a better person...
-Oh... -...because of your friendship.
-You don't feel like that? -No.
Give a girl a crystal, and next thing you know,
she thinks she's the Dalai Lama,
and now she's thinking that, like, hanging out with her
makes me a better person?
I'm literally not having Tony Robbins kind
of conversations with Whitney, so that's shocking to me.
You're not the Messiah, Whitney. Maybe you shouldgo
back to church and find out who Jesus actually really is.
Okay, well, I'm sorry. I just thought--I thought that was--
So, that's just shocking. Hey, do I enjoy our friendship?
100%. But I've never looked at it as, like, oh, my gosh,
I feel like I'm a better person with Whitney Rose.
You know who makes me feel like a better person?
God and my husband and my kids. Like, that's it.
Like, outside of that trifecta...
***
Unless Jesus Christ, like, comes walking across that water...
[angelic music plays]
...like, no one's having influence on me.
***
-[knock on door] -MEREDITH: Come in.
-Hi. -Hi, honey.
Sorry, it's me.
I just wanted to get some food...
-Aw. Thank you. -...to just eat with you
so you're not alone.
***
How are you? Are you feeling any better at all?
-Um... -Warmer?
-I'm not as cold for sure. -Okay, good, 'cause
I turned it up to, like, 80.
I won't say I'm warm, but I'm not--I'm not shivering.
-That's the good news. -How are you feeling about
the whole room situation? Are you okay?
My feelings were hurt by the way it was handled.
You all see, I'm notfeeling well at all.
I'm walking around in Bermuda in a blanket.
I know. That was wild.
She really just needs a bathtub.
-Yeah. -We are on vacation.
If one of the other women were sick
and needed to get into bed and also love their bathtub,
I would have made sure that they had somewhere comfortable to go.
But you can't give me a decent room with a bathtub
when, you know I feel like I'm dying right now?
It shows the level of respect
that I have from the women in this group,
which at this point looks at as zero.
Do you want these blinds open? I'm gonna let you get some rest.
***
-What's going on? -She's upset.
-She's not napping? -She is napping now.
-You rocked her to sleep. -No, I just gave her water.
-Did you swaddle her? -Actually, I did.
[laughter]
Meredith did say that the room situations
just made her realize and remember
how selfish everyone in this group is.
-I'm not selfish. -She's visibly not feeling well,
and all she wanted was a room with a bathtub.
She'll be fine this trip without it.
She can bathe in Whitney's bathtub.
[laughter]
Meredith feels like complete crap.
I love her. I care. I'm worried.
I'm concerned, but not enough to give up my room.
I don't take baths, so I feel a little guilty,
but that's what I consider my dirty clothes hamper.
That's where I put all my dirty clothes.
I understand that Meredith has an obsession with bathtubs,
but I have an obsession with views.
And I have one, and I'm not giving it up.
***
Your birthday trip's off to a big, great start.
[laughter]
What is it like to be back?
I mean, I'm more connected to Portugal,
but it is cool being here where, like, my grandma was born
and my great-grandpa and great-grandmother,
like, built the houses and businesses here.
-And I still have family here. -Is through your dad's side?
-This is my mom's side. -Oh, your mom's side is Bermuda.
-Portugal is... -My mom.
-My dad's Colombian. -Bermuda has
big Portuguese communities. -Okay, got it.
Portuguese community in Bermuda.
-Okay. -Do you care if I just
put my feet in the sand? -No, get down there.
Oh! I'm gonna go catch a fish.
-Are you coming? -I'm coming.
-Come on. -Whoo!
-I'm catching a fish. -Oh, my God. Oh!
Oh! [laughs]
Shark!
Get out! You can't see it!
***
[cellphone chimes]
[whooshing sound]
***
[line rings]
Bri, I have to show you this. Come here.
You're gonna freak out. Let me flip this around.
'Kay.
Look at that.
Is that right outside your hotel?
This is on my balcony from my bedroom.
This place, Bri, you would seriously freak out.
I could cry. It's stunning.
That's awesome. I'm happy for you.
All of my memories here are of a time when my family
was genuinely the most happy together.
And even though my mom and I are not
on good terms right now,
I am grateful that she is helping me reconnect
and organize meeting up with my family.
I love you so much. I'll talk to you later.
-Okay, love you. -Okay, love you. Bye.
Bye.
***
MEREDITH: Mm.
***
Okay.
[Velcro rips]
[air pumping]
***
-Okay. -[Velcro rips]
***
Cheers from Bermuda. Here, check out my view.
Isn't that amazing?
Heather got us the sickest house.
Like, I'm, like, literally so impressed. It's so good.
Okay.
***
Ladies!
The rum tasting is about to begin.
Come on, kids! Come on!
HEATHER: Here we go. This way.
Hello, shoes.
Just like my house, I leave my clothes all around.
This girls trip is not pure fun. There's an educational element.
I want them to learn the history and culture,
and I want Monica to be able to reconnect with her heritage.
And since Bermuda is famous for its rum,
our first cultural experience will be drinking.
Hello!
I heard the rum calling me.
-Hi! -Hello, ladies.
-What is your name? -My name is Andrew.
Andrew. Nice to meet you, Andrew.
-Nice to meet you. -Where's Whitney?
-Yeah. -We're waiting on Whitney.
She's on her way down, but, uh, Meredith is not coming.
LISA: Okay. Oh, you have everything here.
Well, we have a couple cocktail options.
-Okay. -I understand you guys
have already tried the Dark and Stormy...
-Yeah, love it. -...which is our national drink
in Bermuda. -LISA: Yeah, it's so good.
That's obviously made with the Black Seal
and the ginger beer. We also have another new rum
that we created to celebrate Flora Duffy.
-Oh. -Flora Duffy was
an Olympic gold medalist in 2021.
I wanna try the Bermudian Olympian Athlete.
-That rum sounds like... -Yeah, let's try Flora Gold.
-Totally. -You wanna try the Golden Girl?
-Absolutely. -That works for me.
-All right. -HEATHER: Whitney's coming.
She's just taking a long time getting ready.
-Okay, so should I make five? -Yeah.
-Pick one? Any one? -Any one.
-I'll take this. -Yes. You have the Golden Girls.
Kay. Grab a cocktail. Whoo!
This is beautiful.
-Please enjoy. -Thank you.
-This is so cute. Golden Girls. -Golden Girls, baby.
--As long I get to be Blanche! -Ohh!
I just recently started drinking in my 30s. [laughs]
I never had a sip of alcohol or anything
until I was excommunicated.
And then I was like, [bleep] it! [laughs]
Yeah, that's so good.
Oh, my gosh, there's Whitney!
[Heather trilling]
-You're a freaking parking cone. -You guys match.
It's a moment. Oh, she's coming in for landing.
-Yay! -[cheering]
Welcome. So we have a cocktail called the Golden Girl.
It's named after Flora Duffy,
who won Olympic gold in triathlon.
She excels in everything, especially in betterment.
Oh, badass.
She's the first Bermudian to win Olympic gold.
She's all about being better. Yeah. Her best self.
WHITNEY: Where is Meredith?
Meredith is hooked up to an IV.
What is happening? Is she okay?
I know you can rally. You're tough.
Okay.
-She's trying to rally. -Okay.
Now we know why Meredith was sogood at churning butter.
She really knows how to milk things.
Two hands! Here we go.
Meredith!
I know she can hear me.
***
-I know. We screwed up. -Should we get in on this--
Oh, right--oh, right here. I keep forgetting.
Good evening. Good evening.
Ange, those shoes are insane.
-Oh, thank you. -Just embarrassing.
Then I can't swerve.
***
-Meredith! -She rallied.
-Yay! -You rallied! Yay!
-* Da-da-da * -Oh, my gosh.
-Yes, Mer. -How are you feeling?
I'm okay. I'm okay.
***
I have a question for everyone in this car.
Oh, jeez.
***
Who here has a room with a bathtub in it?
***
I have a question for everyone in this car.
Oh, jeez.
Who here has a room with a bathtub in it?
-I do. -Me.
I do.
You all saw that I was white as a ghost,
covered in blankets in the middle of an island,
very ill.
I said I'd like to warm up. I'd like to take a bath.
And somehow I got shoved in one without a bathtub.
And I just feel that it might have been nice
knowing as sick as I was,
that you might have thought,
"Oh, let's give her a room with a bathtub."
So, who's supposed to give up their room with a bathtub?
[crickets chirping]
Uh, I don't know. I'm not picking at anybody individually.
It's as a group and as a whole, I don't feel respect,
and this just exemplified it.
I don't know if Meredith checked the itinerary for this trip,
but there's absolutely no time
for a leisurely soak in the bathtub.
-Where's Whitney? -We're waiting on Whitney.
[voice echoing] She's on her way down.
[water splashes]
If any one of you were sick,
I would make sure, and if the thing you needed was a bath,
I would make sure that you had that room.
You didn't specify that you needed a bath.
If the thing you needed was a room that had a closet...
You like bathtubs. You didn't specify that you needed--
I said, "I would like to take a bath.
I'm shivering and freezing." Yes, I did.
Less than an hour ago, Meredith was on death's door,
and now she's pouncing on us
like she drank from the Fountain of Youth.
I wanna know what was in her IV
and how I can get some.
I just thought you were under the weather and you weren't
feeling well, but, Meredith, you were also making snarky comments
about her laying on her back and spreading her legs.
You're talking about that was disrespectful.
-That was you. -No. You said that on the tour.
This room does have a hiss in her toilet.
Just in case you bring someone home, this should be your room.
-Heather needs this. -[laughs]
Well, I didn't know. Heather, do you lie on your back
and spread your legs for everybody?
-Yes, I did. -Why?
I was repeating--because you said, "Oh, Heather,
you should have this room with the two bathrooms,"
intimating that she's bringing men home,
and I threw back at you, your own words, and said,
"Why? Do you think she lies on her back and spreads her legs?"
What's wrong with her wanting to bring--But why would you--
Because that's what you said to me, Angie.
Run away, Meredith!
I don't speak to people who treat me with disrespect.
The only one that spreads their legs
outside their marriage is you. -Not me, honey. Not me.
-And that's demeaning. -And you said nasty things
and threatened my family, so I responded to you.
I did not threaten your family.
It's clear that Meredith has no remorse,
because here she is going backwards.
I know a heartfelt apology when I receive one,
and that was not a heartfelt apology.
I'm not threatening your family.
-You said it. -Okay, Angie. I am very sorry
that that made you feel badly
and hurt your feelings and upset. So, let's move on.
Go look up the definition of a threat.
-Meredith, it was a threat. -No, it was not.
A threat is a statement with an intent to cause harm.
...you saying that you could ruin my family.
You said you could ruin my family, and that causes harm.
And you can't ruin my family.
Did I say that I could ever ruin your family? No, I didn't.
And you don't have the power to ruin my family.
Oh, honey, I can ruin anything I want.
-Oh, really? -And you are naive.
-I could ruin it, too. -Ooh!
Yes, you can. And anyone in here could ruin anybody they want.
Really?
Let me tell you something.
If these two women don't stop talking about this...
[sped-up, high-pitched voices speaking indistinctly]
...I'm about to threaten both of their families,
and then we'll really have something to talk about.
MEREDITH: Go read a dictionary. Get a vocab lesson, honey.
It was threatening, and it was low and dirty.
Don't talk to me about low and dirty.
You are the lowest and dirtiest.
I think you're low and dirty and classless, Meredith.
Oh! [laughs] Okay.
It gets to a point when you're accused of something
over and over and over again, you may as well do it.
Is that a threat?
I'm happy to try and move forward with you,
and I've tried to be cordial.
Every time I think you and I are moving forward,
then something flips, and I'm like, okay,
what do I need to do now?
Maybe you should sit down with me one on one, Angie.
-I'd love to do that. -That would be fine.
***
That was an impossible situation.
-Impossible. -Impossible.
***
-Hi. -Hi, lady.
-Table of six for Heather Gay. -Heather.
***
Right this way.
Oh, wonderful. Thank you. Thank you.
-Oh, right on the water? -This is beautiful.
This is so beautiful.
-You guys, let's order. -I'm so hungry.
Can we order? Bread? Diet Coke to start?
[indistinct conversations]
Yes, let's get some food and some drink and some fun.
May we start with the cauliflower, the calamari.
-Let me see here. -You like the drunken mussels?
-You still like those? -Yeah, the mussels,
the avocado rolls, two of those.
-Escargot? -One escargot as well?
-Sure. -And for the mussels,
would you like them in the white wine or red wine?
-White. -White wine.
-Oh, white, for sure. -Yeah.
-All right. Thank you. -Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Is everything good, guys?
***
I was trying to express my feelings and saying I was hurt,
and if I don't tell you guys, you can't be cognizant of it.
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm sorry you're hurt, too.
That's all I was looking for. Thank you.
Yeah. You're welcome.
Okay.
***
In the spirit of just saying your feelings are hurt
and you want someone to acknowledge,
like, Lisa, the other day
when I told you that you hurt my feelings...
No, you didn't tell me. There was a lot of things said,
and I left Meredith's event.
You stayed, and I went home upset.
I needed you as my friend.
-To do what? -To just love me and support me
for losing someone who I love deeply.
I was on eggshells is what was-- what was happening.
I was on eggshells with you.
Grieving is hard, and everybody does it differently.
And if she really needs me in a specific way,
all she has to do is say it.
All I'm saying is you hurt my feelings.
Okay.
And then I followed up with text messages.
I am sorry your feelings are hurt.
To me, it feels like she's looking for somebody
to, like, take her grief out on
instead of, like, grieve with her.
So, anyway, I avoided you, got away from you.
You treated me sh--ty at Meredith's event.
I left because I was trying to tell you...
...crying. You stayed there till 1 in the morning.
You're making this about yourself,
and I don't wanna say it.
Well, let's talk about that, too.
I guess you had a conversation with Heather
where I'm self-absorbed, and you're helping me be
a better person.
***
What the [bleep] is that?
***
[thunder rumbling in distance]
Well, let's talk about that, too.
I guess you had a conversation with Heather
where I'm self-absorbed,
and you're helping me be a better person.
***
When I was talking to Whitney, she said
she's, like, helping you be intuitive and healing.
-Wait, what? -You don't feel like that?
-No. -What the [bleep] is that?
How are you helping me to be a better person?
What are you talking about?
You said that you have really hard conversations with Lisa...
And you're helping me to be a better person.
-...and you're proud of her. -Well, what was wrong
with me before? -I amproud of Lisa.
-I know. That's what I told her. -But why do I have to be
a better person? Why can't you accept me for who I am?
Why are you meddling in my friendship with Lisa?
I'm not! How is that meddling for me to say you've had
hard conversations with her... -That is meddling.
-...and you're proud of her. -Listen, this is what happened.
-I love Lisa. I'm proud of her. -I love you, too.
-That's what I said.
-How is that meddling? -I love you, too.
She's spinning this because what she'll be doing is attacking...
100%--I'm not spinning it, Whitney.
That's what you said word for word,
that you don't understand how self-absorbed you are.
You're trying to make it
so that she'll be mad at me right now.
-I can't make her be mad. -Bottom line, Lisa,
I was hurt because I needed you.
I felt like I was on eggshells with you,
not just from that day,
but being at your house a week prior.
I left your house 'cause I was frustrated,
not because I was angry, not because I was hurt,
because I felt like you were chastising me,
but what you did to me at her event was so ----ing bullsh--.
So ----ing bullsh--!
You're walking away after making an accusation
about me and her, rubbing that in your face.
I just said you need to be more self-aware and read the room.
Self-aware? I was ----ing dancing on eggshells
around you. I'm like-- -For the first time ever.
No, not forever. I dance around you all the time.
I, like, literally am so sensitive with your feelings
-When? -In life, in general.
I'm a ----ing bulldog.
I, like, ----ing can take everybody out.
***
And I temper myself. I quiet myself.
I change the way I am around certain people
because not everybody can handle it. That's it.
Do you do that because you love me or because I can't handle it?
Because I love you. Listen, I have gone to blows
with Heather over you, and I don't wanna do that anymore.
And I've gone to blows with you over Heather
and Heather over you. -And another thing is that
I don't want anyone speaking for me. Like, listen.
We talked through our church issues,
and, like, I see her perspective.
I think she gets mine.
Okay, but you both got me into the middle of that.
-You have to realize that. -No. No.
-You didn't-- -Oh, hell, ----ing no.
-But I do side... -Hell, ----ing no.
Ay, I know. Maybe we should cheers to that.
-Cheers to that. [laughs] -[laughs]
This is between you and I.
Every time I sit down with you, Heather, she'd be like...
Doesn't...doesn't make any sense.
She would be so triggered that I would support you...
Whitney, you don't know sh-- about me.
...in your journey of the Church, but not hers.
In your journey of the Church? She doesn't have a journey.
She's Mormon 2.0, and for you to even sit there and say that--
Heather, shut the [bleep] up.
***
Oh, you want me to shut the [bleep] up?
-Shut the [bleep] up. Yeah. -Are you for real? Okay.
You just said, "Shut the [bleep] up" to me.
'Cause I needed you to.
Then you can say it in a respectful ----ing way.
-I'm pissed. -Good.
Good?
Don't you ever say, "Shut the [bleep] up" to me...
-Lisa, I-I know... -...for something that has
nothing to do with anything we're fighting about.
***
Okay.
Lisa, I was hurt that you didn't respond to me.
Honestly, after last year,
I'm used to you being the one that comforts me, you know?
-LISA: Yeah. -[scoffs]
Whitney's version of their friendship is called delusion.
It's amazing. You should try it.
I did try to console you.
At that point, I was not receptive.
I mean, Lisa Barlow is a lot of amazing things,
but Mother comforter and nurturer, she is not.
"There there now, Whitney. All will be well."
[laughs]
Moving forward, please just don't ignore me.
Even if you wanna say [bleep] off,
tell me to [bleep] off in a text.
Say, "Shut the [bleep] up" right in your face.
-Yeah. -I'm not cheersing you, Whit.
-Like... -Why?
'Cause I said, "Shut the [bleep] up"?
No, because you've sat here like some sort of weird devotee
to the Lisa cult.
When did you guys become dearest, closest friends
that the first person you wanted to hug you
after your best friend died was Lisa?
-When did that happen? -You guys have no idea
what Lisa and I's friendship is about.
Well, tell us. Explain it to us.
If we were to tell you, you'd all be triggered
and try to ruin it.
Oh, no. [laughs] No, but--
That's what I'm ----ing talking about.
-Yeah, that comment... -That is so ----ing low!
I am not trying to ruin any friendships.
This is none of Heather's business
in this conversation.
It feels like she's doing it to activate Lisa,
to make things worse.
I am not--do I have any interest
in your friendship with Whitney at all?
Sweet, dear cousin,
I am not trying to ruin your friendship with Lisa.
You will do that very well on your own
with little or no help from me, possibly, at this dinner.
Lisa, do you and I talk every day?
-We talk a lot. -You guys are so jealous...
Like, you 2 are friends, you 2 are friends, you 2 are friends.
...of the fact that Lisa and I are friends. That's it.
-I swear I don't--she-- -You better defend me right now.
-This is crazy. -I am. She does not care that
we're great friends. -Don't call me crazy.
BOTH: This is crazy.
Thank you. Your best friend said it, so I guess it's true.
-She does not--Listen. -Ohh!
You're just mad I'm not crawling up yourass.
[bleep] you. You said, "Shut the [bleep] up" to me.
-Yeah, because I can. -LISA: She's not...
Why don't we all just ----ing leave? I'm over it.
[thunderclap, rainfall]
Is it raining?
Guys, we've literally brought the Bad Weather.
MONICA: I'm ready to go home.
Come on, guys.
MONICA: That was lovely. I had a great time.
Whoo.
***
MONICA: Oh, my gosh. It's soaking wet.
***
[horn honks]
***
-Done. -That was fun.
Thank you. You, too.
-Thank you. -Good night, ladies.
-Thank you, Jonathan. -No problem.
I was, like, dead asleep, like, dreaming.
***
Was my mouth open?
Yeah. We made a cute little video of you. [laughing]
Are you serious? [laughs]
***
I'm going to bed.
-Monica, glass of wine? -Yeah.
MONICA: Your macaroni and cheese looks so good.
If you wanna finish it, you can.
-You're done? -Yeah, I'm done.
-Oh, thank you. -Love you guys. Night, night.
Night, night.
-ANGIE: Good night. -Good night.
Oh, Meredith, there's a whole nother fish and chips
with tartar sauce.
Oh, I'm good. Thank you, Whitney.
-I'm stealing the tartar. -Heather's gonna beat your ass.
She could act like she could beat my ass, but she couldn't.
You think you could take her?
Wow.
Who would you put your money on, Heather or Whitney?
Um, I think Heather. Don't be mad.
You guys clearly don't know me.
-Whitney is offended. -No, I'm not offended.
I'm not sure who would win.
But I'm trained in jiu-jitsu and Muay Thai.
I'd kick her ass.
MONICA: You're trained in jiu-jitsu?
Yeah. I could break her elbow in two seconds.
Oh. Well, in that case, I'm changing my vote.
Hey, guys. Good night. I'll see you at your birthday party.
-Good night. -Okay, good night.
Okay. I'll keep you company.
You do not have to keep me company.
I'm just about done.
What did you get? Did you eat?
No. I don't have much of an appetite today.
Well, I'm proud of you for saying
and telling everybody how you felt today.
Sometimes it's a little frustrating because,
"A," I said I'd love to take a bath,
and "B," everybody knows how I feel about the bath.
All I needed was someone to say,
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry."
-Yeah. -That's it.
Over the last few months,
I feel like I've gotten to know Monica better.
She's been very supportive of me.
She's been very kind to me.
I obviously felt like I hit it off with you. You were amazing.
This is so cute. I've never been here. Oh, my gosh.
It's like we've got, you know,
some outerwear, handbags.
Quite frankly, since we got here,
Monica's really been the only one here for me.
I mean, at this point, if it weren't for Monica,
I would already be on a plane home.
It all feels very fifth grade.
Yeah.
And Angie can't stop with it.
-I know. -I was upset.
She poked and poked and poked and got a reaction,
and now she's mad that I reacted...
-Yeah. -...and has not taken
accountability or apologized for her own behavior.
Gaslighting, manipulation 101.
1-0-1. Poo. Sh--.
***
I remember what you said earlier.
You've been through this sh-- before.
-Oh. Déjà vu? -Déjà vu! That's what it was.
No more déjà vu. I've seen this sh-- before.
That's what it was.
[laughter]
You know what's so crazy, is do you remember how we talked
about that page that messaged us on Instagram?
I think there's shady sh-- going on.
***
A few weeks ago, Meredith and I met for lunch.
***
Thank you so much. This was so fun.
After that...
-It is so gorgeous. -Isn't it?
Yes.
...we were hanging out in Park City on Main Street,
which Meredith told me used to be run by the Greek Mafia,
which then led to a discussion about Angie
and how she could possibly be in the Greek Mafia.
[echoing] I love that there's stacks of cash everywhere.
Welcome to Angie's house.
Then, shortly after that, I get a phone call from Meredith
telling me that she received DMs
from this random Instagram account about Angie
and asked me to check to see if I also received the DMs.
And lo and behold,
there were messages
telling me all about Angie and Shawn
and how shady they are with their business and everything.
I got so many more messages from them about her sh--.
-Saying? -It had all the documents
of, like, of her and Shawn's, like, finances and bankruptcy.
It was weird.
***
Did you get that message, too?
***
I don't think so, but I don't know.
I'm really, really far behind on my DMs.
I haven't even looked at them.
Yeah.
It was like the legal filings and numbers.
I don't know anything about it.
Yeah. It's so weird.
I don't know if Meredith is severely jetlagged
and exhausted and dehydrated,
but I'm very confused why she's acting like
she could not care less about the DMS
when Meredith was the one that called me
to tell me about the DMs in the first place.
Karma comes back at you, and this is not about me.
Yeah.
It's just--it comes back to bite you.
It always does.
You do bad things, it comes back to bite you.
***
ANGIE: Next time on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
-Happy birthday, Monica. -Oh, my God.
You're queen for a day. It's gonna be a fun day.
***
[cheering]
Meredith brought some things to my attention
that completely shocked me, and I was like, what the eff?
What? What was that?
She believes that Angie is in the Greek Mafia.
Google my family. There is not sh-- on the Katsanevas family.
You're talking to the wrong person.
-Whoever I am saying there is-- -Do you hear me?
You're sending her the ----ing DMs about Angie.
You've done it to me, and it's enough.
-I have not done that. -It's done.
Meredith, it's done. You're done.