1 00:00:01,227 --> 00:00:03,060 Amy: So this is technically an Irish pub. Is it? 2 00:00:03,062 --> 00:00:04,578 -Mm. -I mean, the four-leaf clover. 3 00:00:04,580 --> 00:00:05,562 I don't know. Anyway. 4 00:00:05,564 --> 00:00:06,730 Oh, it's Henry. 5 00:00:06,732 --> 00:00:09,174 "Where are you at? It's almost sex o'clock." 6 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,234 Ooh. 7 00:00:10,236 --> 00:00:12,011 -Just block him. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 8 00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:13,587 Oh, I put this on my tab, by the way. 9 00:00:13,589 --> 00:00:17,924 Oh, Amy, in lieu of cash, can I give you a gift card 10 00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:20,019 to Fields or Les and Cathy's Coffee? 11 00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:22,763 Free refills on Tuesdays before 10:00. 12 00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:24,765 In lieu? Are we French? 13 00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:26,416 Jodie, did you rob a CVS? What? 14 00:00:26,418 --> 00:00:28,176 Yeah. No. I buy all these at the supermarket 15 00:00:28,178 --> 00:00:29,936 so that they go on the food bill 16 00:00:29,938 --> 00:00:31,922 and then Dan doesn't know when I'm spending money on myself. 17 00:00:31,924 --> 00:00:33,090 Oh, my God. 18 00:00:33,183 --> 00:00:35,683 Well, there's a business degree put to good use. 19 00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:36,702 Right? 20 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:37,870 Oh, it's tragic. 21 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,997 Waiter: Here's your check, ladies. 22 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,783 Take the leftovers with me. 23 00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:44,618 Oh, my God. Are you homeless? 24 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,453 No, I'm minimum wage. 25 00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,338 I have to do things on the cheap now. 26 00:00:49,108 --> 00:00:50,941 -Ahh. -Seriously? 27 00:00:50,943 --> 00:00:52,033 -Hi. -Let's go, ma'am. 28 00:00:52,035 --> 00:00:53,886 Where -- Whoa! Discrimination! 29 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:56,055 Whoa, whoa! Brutal! 30 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,631 Against people with no money! 31 00:00:57,633 --> 00:00:59,466 You see this? That took an interesting turn. 32 00:00:59,468 --> 00:01:00,726 Jodie, will you grab my phone? 33 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,377 Yep, got it. 34 00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:04,563 Anyway, I have got to go. 35 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:08,108 Got to be back home in "sexteen" minutes. 36 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:09,902 You leave the tip. 37 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,737 Wait! I don't own cash. 38 00:01:12,631 --> 00:01:14,364 Um... 39 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,652 ♪♪ 40 00:01:18,654 --> 00:01:20,304 ♪ Hey! ♪ 41 00:01:20,306 --> 00:01:21,655 ♪♪ 42 00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:22,897 [ Alarm beeping ] Oh, God. 43 00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:25,567 Oh, God. Just five more minutes. 44 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:26,827 Mm. 45 00:01:26,829 --> 00:01:28,754 Oh, my G-- Oh, my God. 46 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,589 What? What are you doing? 47 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,757 I'm just looking at you. 48 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,150 Why? Oh, come on. 49 00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:34,668 Who does that? That's weird. 50 00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:37,429 Because, um, I love you and I think you're gorgeous, 51 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,765 and you have a little something in your hair... 52 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,350 Oh, God. ...maybe oatmeal. 53 00:01:43,587 --> 00:01:44,919 Mmm. 54 00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:46,105 That was a teething biscuit. 55 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,255 Really good. Oh. 56 00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:49,166 Julia's getting a molar, so... 57 00:01:49,168 --> 00:01:50,350 Alright, I'm gonna take a shower. 58 00:01:50,352 --> 00:01:51,926 No, hey. Don't you, uh... 59 00:01:51,928 --> 00:01:53,687 Don't you want to get dirty before you get clean? 60 00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:54,780 Oh, my God. Again? 61 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,097 We just did it last night. 62 00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,691 I just can't get enough of you. 63 00:01:57,693 --> 00:01:58,784 Come on. What -- Hold on. 64 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,361 I can feel a little bit extra. 65 00:02:01,363 --> 00:02:03,864 Oh, that's disappointing. It was just toothpaste. Oh. 66 00:02:03,866 --> 00:02:05,457 Look, if you're having an affair 67 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,960 and you're doing this out of guilt, 68 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,628 I'm good. I'm really good. 69 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,446 And maybe cut your toenails. 70 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,374 I'm growing them out for you. 71 00:02:14,376 --> 00:02:17,527 ♪♪ 72 00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:18,953 You guys! Regret. It's regret. 73 00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:20,530 You guys, I have the most scandalous gossip. 74 00:02:20,532 --> 00:02:21,956 Thanks for this. 75 00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:25,702 One of the other moms at school got found out for having... 76 00:02:25,704 --> 00:02:27,646 an OnlyThrills account. 77 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,148 I know. I know. 78 00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,057 Can someone please tell me what OnlyThrills is? 79 00:02:31,059 --> 00:02:32,392 You don't know? 80 00:02:32,561 --> 00:02:35,395 It's a website where normal, ugly people can be porn stars, 81 00:02:35,397 --> 00:02:38,064 and they do either sexy stuff or just mundane things 82 00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:39,474 like washing dishes or eating. 83 00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,493 Look, I bookmarked the mother. 84 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,053 Look at her. Oh! 85 00:02:43,055 --> 00:02:47,557 Whoa. I can't believe we know a sex worker. 86 00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:50,060 She's not a sex worker, Jodie. 87 00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:52,045 She's pulling in $50k a year 88 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:55,232 letting people watch her suds up her lopsided boobs. 89 00:02:55,234 --> 00:02:57,918 Oh, you guys, her boobs are lopsided, look. Mm-hmm. 90 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,828 Half of her had fun in high school, huh? 91 00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:02,163 Wait, guys. 92 00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:03,757 People aren't even showing their faces on this. 93 00:03:03,759 --> 00:03:05,500 Look at this one. 94 00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:08,094 This is just someone's feet being squirted with baby oil. 95 00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:11,415 Wait. People will pay to look at feet? 96 00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:12,599 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 97 00:03:12,601 --> 00:03:14,084 In other news, Jodie, you're fake spiritual. 98 00:03:14,086 --> 00:03:15,936 Is there any planets in retrograde right now, 99 00:03:15,938 --> 00:03:17,270 or like a horny moon rising, 100 00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:19,773 because Henry's all over my jock. 101 00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,349 We had sex last night, this morning. 102 00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:22,850 It's unprecedented. 103 00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:25,186 Did you know that you can burn up to 300 calories making love? 104 00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:26,688 Gross. Nobody's "making love." 105 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,931 We're boffing, okay? 106 00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:29,357 A lot. It's obscene. 107 00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:30,951 I mean, the rest is pretty standard. 108 00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:32,953 I have prettier feet than anyone on here. 109 00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:34,955 Yeah, you have very pretty feet, 110 00:03:34,957 --> 00:03:36,456 and now you're just giving it away for free 111 00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:38,032 every time you wear a flip-flop. 112 00:03:38,034 --> 00:03:39,960 Do you think? No! 113 00:03:39,962 --> 00:03:41,720 Sarah! What? 114 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,296 You cannot! Why? 115 00:03:43,298 --> 00:03:44,965 Why can't I have a side hustle? 116 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,708 I want to buy that sofa I've been visiting 117 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,209 at Carol Convertibles. 118 00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:50,120 God, I would love to take her home. 119 00:03:50,122 --> 00:03:51,546 It's sad you're more excited about a sofa 120 00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:53,232 than any girl you've ever dated. 121 00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:56,401 It's that soft. Wait, so you're gonna get naked? 122 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,644 On camera? 123 00:03:57,646 --> 00:03:58,962 On the Internet?! 124 00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:01,222 Jodie, calm down. It's just my feet. 125 00:04:01,224 --> 00:04:02,983 I've been using my brain my whole life to get by. 126 00:04:02,985 --> 00:04:04,392 Now I'm gonna use my bod. 127 00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:05,969 That-a-girl. Well, I could never. 128 00:04:05,971 --> 00:04:08,229 I mean, I am a mom, after all. 129 00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:09,990 Ah! Yeah. To the left. 130 00:04:09,992 --> 00:04:11,733 Just a little. Okay, okay. 131 00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:14,311 Swing your knee over this -- this way. 132 00:04:14,313 --> 00:04:16,496 Oh. [ Clattering ] 133 00:04:16,498 --> 00:04:18,090 Okay. 134 00:04:20,152 --> 00:04:21,927 There we go. Um, can we just pull the booster out? 135 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,153 No, they're impossible to get in. 136 00:04:23,155 --> 00:04:25,505 They take forever. Um... 137 00:04:25,507 --> 00:04:26,506 Oh, this is rough. 138 00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:27,915 You know what? We can take it out. 139 00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:29,326 I have a manual in the glovebox. 140 00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:30,385 No, no, no. Hey, no, no. 141 00:04:30,387 --> 00:04:32,496 It's not your fault. It's mine. 142 00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:35,256 I mean, you're this -- this classy lady, 143 00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:37,851 and I don't even have anywhere for us to be together. 144 00:04:37,853 --> 00:04:40,261 I should never have let my mom put her beer fridge in my room. 145 00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:43,282 She's always barging in now, especially in the mornings. 146 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:44,932 Oh, no. I know, right? 147 00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:46,009 It's so fattening. 148 00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:48,028 It's not like we can boff at my place. 149 00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:50,680 What? Oh. Amy put it in my head. 150 00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,182 Oh. 151 00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:54,108 You know what, Jodie? This just lights a fire under me 152 00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:55,869 to get my fitness empire off the ground. 153 00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:57,963 You know, I mean, I'm already basically an influencer. 154 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:01,616 I just need a couple more pec result photos and... 155 00:05:01,618 --> 00:05:03,951 Yeah. Once I have my own chain of gyms, 156 00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:04,970 we can have sex in one of those. 157 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,138 Ah! And this lights a fire under me 158 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,048 to get my organizing business going. 159 00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:09,975 Yeah! But that could take years. 160 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:13,036 Look at us. Future power couple. Aww. 161 00:05:13,038 --> 00:05:15,055 Is there anywhere we can rent for an hour? 162 00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:17,399 We'll need cash for that. I'm on it. 163 00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:26,491 I'm so tired from just running around with the kids all day. 164 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,051 We were painting, 165 00:05:28,053 --> 00:05:30,053 and we must have blown like 1,000 bubbles. 166 00:05:30,055 --> 00:05:32,814 I mean, honestly, how many bubbles can one blow? 167 00:05:32,816 --> 00:05:35,258 Um, Julia ate a puzzle piece, okay? 168 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:37,394 So just be on the lookout for that. Yeah. 169 00:05:37,396 --> 00:05:39,004 I think it was, like, a cat's claw. 170 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:42,156 Like the end of a cat's claw or something like that. 171 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:43,400 Henry. Hmm? 172 00:05:43,418 --> 00:05:46,011 What is going on with you? Why are you so into me? 173 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,180 Are you participating in a male hormone study? 174 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,756 You're just hotter than ever. 175 00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:51,666 I don't know. I cut my toenails. 176 00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:53,093 I know. I can tell. 177 00:05:53,095 --> 00:05:55,002 This is a little alarming, okay? 178 00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,429 Who are you imagining I am? 179 00:05:56,431 --> 00:05:57,764 It better be someone unattainable 180 00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:59,766 like Angelina Jolie or Cleopatra. 181 00:05:59,768 --> 00:06:02,527 Those women are gross, and one of them's dead. Mm. 182 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,105 This is a little embarrassing to admit, 183 00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:08,850 but since you started being a hands-on mom... 184 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,760 In the afternoons? Yes. 185 00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:13,354 You've made a choice to spend more time with the kids, 186 00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:16,449 and it brought out a new side of you. 187 00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:18,693 What? What side? 188 00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:22,697 You know, like, more nurturing and caring. 189 00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,457 You've stopped army crawling under the windows 190 00:06:24,459 --> 00:06:26,126 so the kids don't know you're home. 191 00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:30,889 You don't call Luke "the one with the brown hair" anymore. 192 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,466 You know what a teething biscuit is. 193 00:06:33,468 --> 00:06:35,894 I mean, come on. You're maternal. 194 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,729 You've changed. It's a turn-on. 195 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,640 Unbelievable. What is that? 196 00:06:40,642 --> 00:06:42,959 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 197 00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:44,294 Honey, it's a compliment. 198 00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:45,795 Oh, my God. 199 00:06:45,797 --> 00:06:47,739 You're basically saying that you weren't attracted to who I was 200 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,800 before I started mothering the kids...in the afternoons. 201 00:06:50,802 --> 00:06:52,969 Is "mothering" a word? [ Sighs ] 202 00:06:52,971 --> 00:06:54,487 Not what I said. Not what I said. 203 00:06:54,489 --> 00:06:55,655 And yes, I think so. 204 00:06:55,657 --> 00:06:57,231 Well, it doesn't matter if you said it or not. 205 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:59,643 It's what I heard, so I'm finally the woman 206 00:06:59,645 --> 00:07:00,752 that you wish you married. 207 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,312 Then great for you. 208 00:07:02,314 --> 00:07:04,664 I-I'm kind of confused how this is a bad thing. 209 00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,666 [ Sighs ] Julia: Mama. 210 00:07:06,668 --> 00:07:07,834 [ Whimpers ] 211 00:07:07,836 --> 00:07:09,169 Julia's teething. I need to go. 212 00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:11,096 Try to keep it in your pants. 213 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,173 I -- [mutters] 214 00:07:13,175 --> 00:07:16,017 Mommy's coming. Oh, boy, that's hot. 215 00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:21,998 You really need this? Yes! 216 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,257 My feet need a lot of light. 217 00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:24,684 I-I want it to look like they're on vacation. 218 00:07:24,686 --> 00:07:27,520 Mm. This is Evan's desk lamp, and I feel dirty. 219 00:07:27,522 --> 00:07:28,688 Stop being such a prude. 220 00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:31,675 I am letting you shoot erotica in my house. 221 00:07:31,677 --> 00:07:34,177 Oh, grow up. Amy: Ughhhh! 222 00:07:34,179 --> 00:07:35,120 Where are your kids? 223 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,030 What? They're downstairs with yours. 224 00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:38,957 Is that the first thing that people think of when they see me? 225 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,292 No. I think your hair's too blonde. 226 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,035 What? It's just, it washes you out a little, 227 00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:43,628 but it's not as brassy as it was. 228 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,630 Oh, my God. Okay. Well, Henry doesn't seem to mind. 229 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:46,948 Did he actually say that? 230 00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,525 Okay, he's obsessed with me right now, 231 00:07:48,527 --> 00:07:50,284 ever since I started taking care of the kids in the afternoon. 232 00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:52,119 Guys, he called me -- 233 00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:53,713 He called me "maternal." -Aww. 234 00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:56,032 You did tell me to be careful at a crosswalk the other week. 235 00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:57,458 No, I didn't. Did I? 236 00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:58,551 Mm-hmm. You did. 237 00:07:58,553 --> 00:07:59,552 I don't recognize myself. 238 00:07:59,554 --> 00:08:01,221 Oh, that's why all the boffing. 239 00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:02,964 The what? The boffing. 240 00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:04,799 The sex. Oh, right. 241 00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:06,559 You sound like a little British man when you say it. Oh, thanks. 242 00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:08,320 Well, it is derived from Middle English. 243 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,897 Okay. When did this turn into a Shakespeare class? 244 00:08:10,899 --> 00:08:12,899 My husband wishes I was somebody else. 245 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,551 No, he just likes the new you. 246 00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:16,161 Well, if Coleen had never died, 247 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,645 I never would have started going home in the afternoons 248 00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,522 to take care of the kids, and he never would have realized 249 00:08:19,524 --> 00:08:21,391 how unhappy he was. 250 00:08:21,393 --> 00:08:22,726 Mnh-mnh. 251 00:08:22,728 --> 00:08:24,652 Jodie, can I get a, um, a pillow for under my foot? 252 00:08:24,654 --> 00:08:25,837 I just want to -- I want to prop it up. 253 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,321 Like, a decorative one. 254 00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:29,541 Just to be clear, you would never do this for me. 255 00:08:30,159 --> 00:08:32,068 Guys, I'm not doing it again tonight, okay? 256 00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,327 I have actual work to do, 257 00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:35,588 and I am not gonna get a UTI for his kink. 258 00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:36,998 Amy, you should be happy your husband 259 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,241 wants to have sex with you. 260 00:08:38,243 --> 00:08:40,668 The old you, the new you, the brassy you. 261 00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:41,853 What's this "brassy" thing? 262 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,188 You know, if more men were like him, 263 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,098 OnlyThrills wouldn't even exist. [ Sighs ] 264 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,025 Jodie, this pillow looks cheap. 265 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,194 Do you have a -- a classier one? 266 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,273 But it's perfect for your seedy clients! 267 00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:54,533 [ Gasps ] You don't know they're seedy! 268 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,110 This is mine. Jodie, you're being a baby. 269 00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:58,945 Amy: Break it up! Girls, girls, girls. 270 00:08:58,947 --> 00:09:01,373 Hey, hey! Break it up. Break it up. Stop with the sass! 271 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,726 Both of you are in a time-out. 272 00:09:04,728 --> 00:09:06,193 Oh, my God. 273 00:09:06,195 --> 00:09:08,788 If Henry heard me right now, he'd be so turned on. Mm. 274 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,340 That was so maternal. 275 00:09:12,444 --> 00:09:15,295 No, we have to show the ugly scalloped handle 276 00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,722 of the serving spoon, or we're gonna lose our sponsors. 277 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,206 Donna. Donna. 278 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:22,060 Do you have to file your nails so close to the phone? 279 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,713 Oh, also, we are $400 over budget 280 00:09:25,715 --> 00:09:26,956 on the summer salad show. 281 00:09:26,958 --> 00:09:28,733 They're not even actually eating the lettuce. 282 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,126 You know what? New lettuce is just -- 283 00:09:30,128 --> 00:09:31,403 it's a luxury we can't afford, Donna. 284 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,071 Sorry. I'm gonna be a little while. 285 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,406 No, no, no. Do your thing. 286 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,324 I'm just gonna turn the light off. 287 00:09:39,654 --> 00:09:40,745 Are you kidding me? 288 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,155 Henry, wake up. I'm not asleep. 289 00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,397 I just put my head down on the pillow. 290 00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:45,158 I can't believe you right now. 291 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,568 I am a working woman. I am a boss. 292 00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:48,661 And somehow that's just -- 293 00:09:48,663 --> 00:09:50,422 that's just not attractive to you anymore? 294 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,982 I mean, I-I'm just some disgusting career pig 295 00:09:52,984 --> 00:09:54,167 you have to sleep next to? 296 00:09:54,169 --> 00:09:55,485 What are you doing? P-Please stop. 297 00:09:55,487 --> 00:09:58,079 I just -- I just want to go to sleep. 298 00:09:58,081 --> 00:09:59,264 Oh, my God. Oh, no. 299 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,658 Henry, are you not attracted to the old Amy? 300 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:04,603 Did you -- Did you ever love me? What? 301 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,663 If I were sitting here, just signing permission slips 302 00:10:06,665 --> 00:10:09,274 or baking an apple pie, you'd be all over me. 303 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,017 If you were baking an apple pie in here, 304 00:10:11,019 --> 00:10:12,611 I'd have a lot of electrical questions. 305 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:15,262 Why can't you just admit that you were secretly 306 00:10:15,264 --> 00:10:16,781 waiting for me to turn into someone I'm not 307 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,307 so you could fall in love with me? 308 00:10:18,309 --> 00:10:20,526 Because I'll tell you what -- the way you look at me now, 309 00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:23,196 you should see your eyes light up. 310 00:10:23,198 --> 00:10:24,848 It's disgusting. 311 00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:26,958 Honey, I'm not waiting for you to become anyone else. 312 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,460 I love the old Amy. 313 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:32,355 That's why I married her and...all of that. 314 00:10:32,357 --> 00:10:33,381 Oh. 315 00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:37,861 No! Then why don't you want to have sex with me? 316 00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:38,970 I'm not in the mood for sex 317 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,097 'cause I had to fire a guy today. 318 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,219 Wh-- Oh. 319 00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:47,720 Hang on a second. 320 00:10:47,722 --> 00:10:49,814 What do you mean? I didn't know you fire people. 321 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,041 You fire people? Yeah. 322 00:10:52,043 --> 00:10:53,059 It's not something you brag about. 323 00:10:53,061 --> 00:10:55,044 No, yeah, no, no. No, it actually is. 324 00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:56,821 I mean, you could potentially just, like, 325 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,564 [chuckles] ruin someone's life. 326 00:10:58,566 --> 00:10:59,807 And that's good? 327 00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:01,642 I did not know that you had this side to you. 328 00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:03,219 This is like, so... 329 00:11:03,221 --> 00:11:05,163 This is so manly. This is so powerful. 330 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:08,408 Tell me -- Tell me everything. 331 00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:11,002 Well, I-I fire people all the time. 332 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,896 How does that work? Like, what goes down? 333 00:11:12,898 --> 00:11:14,321 Do you, like, call them into your office and you're like, 334 00:11:14,323 --> 00:11:15,698 "Hey, sit down," 335 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,901 or do you just, like, slam your fist down on the table 336 00:11:17,903 --> 00:11:19,419 and you're like, "Get out"? 337 00:11:19,421 --> 00:11:20,586 Um, I -- both. 338 00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:22,329 Mm! Mm! 339 00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:24,073 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 340 00:11:24,075 --> 00:11:26,092 So you don't like the old Henry? 341 00:11:26,094 --> 00:11:28,669 You, uh -- You want a tough guy who fires people. 342 00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,246 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 343 00:11:30,248 --> 00:11:31,915 I also cut people's vacation days. 344 00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:33,433 Oh, my God. Yes, you do! 345 00:11:33,435 --> 00:11:34,934 And I denied a guy's workman's comp. 346 00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:38,363 He's a single dad. Oh, my God! 347 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,439 [ Both moaning ] 348 00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:41,107 Should we hang up with Donna? 349 00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:42,926 Donna, you still with us, honey? Mm. 350 00:11:42,928 --> 00:11:45,620 [ Train whistle blows ] 351 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,433 Oh. Wait. 352 00:11:50,435 --> 00:11:51,692 I need this. 353 00:11:51,694 --> 00:11:53,027 I can't. I need it. 354 00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,212 You know, this happened earlier with a guy 355 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,621 and a bottle of whiskey? 356 00:11:55,623 --> 00:11:56,806 It was a little darker. 357 00:11:56,808 --> 00:11:58,049 I really need this gift card 358 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,700 so I can go to Jessicrafts, buy some glue guns, 359 00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:02,036 wait for the shift change, and return them for cash. 360 00:12:02,038 --> 00:12:03,888 Why do you need cash so bad? 361 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,783 Things. Ah, boyfriend things. 362 00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:07,967 Don't care for the judgement. 363 00:12:07,969 --> 00:12:09,786 Yes, that's part of it. 364 00:12:09,788 --> 00:12:11,212 I can't. 365 00:12:11,214 --> 00:12:12,972 Dan's starting to ask questions. 366 00:12:12,974 --> 00:12:14,399 Like, he doesn't think the freezer has 367 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,975 $200 worth of meat in it, so... 368 00:12:15,977 --> 00:12:17,718 I'm gonna have to find another way. 369 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,404 You know, everything about you is the first 20 minutes of a "Dateline." 370 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,965 Well, at least I'm not pimping out my toes to strangers. 371 00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:24,075 Oh, that reminds me. 372 00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:26,560 Tell me what you think. 373 00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:30,156 Now, should I get heavy cotton or suede 374 00:12:30,158 --> 00:12:31,657 for my new Carol Convertible? 375 00:12:31,659 --> 00:12:34,477 Suede? Who are you? 376 00:12:34,479 --> 00:12:36,755 I am making a pretty penny off all these foot freaks, 377 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,090 especially this big spender Ari 13. 378 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,150 You're making enough money off of this site 379 00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:43,762 to order a couch in a premium material? 380 00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,598 Mm-hmm. And matching barrel chairs! 381 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,174 [ Gasps ] I love barrel chairs! 382 00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:49,993 I know! I'm getting them in linen. 383 00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:51,327 Linen?! Mm-hmm. 384 00:12:51,329 --> 00:12:53,730 That's not even in the same catalog! Mnh-mnh. 385 00:12:55,333 --> 00:13:05,158 ♪♪ 386 00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:14,000 Mom! 387 00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,628 Were you taking my money? 388 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,037 No! 389 00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:19,798 But I was gonna teach you a lesson 390 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,526 about leaving your bag out where anyone could steal from you. 391 00:13:23,528 --> 00:13:24,710 I'm not upset. 392 00:13:24,712 --> 00:13:27,380 I'm just deeply disappointed. 393 00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:36,356 ♪♪ 394 00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:39,984 [ Line ringing ] 395 00:13:40,895 --> 00:13:43,488 Sarah, I need money, so... 396 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,157 how do I set up an OnlyThrills page? 397 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,993 And don't make fun of me. I'm a tragic character. 398 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,151 Check it out. [ Gasps ] 399 00:13:57,153 --> 00:13:58,061 Wow! 400 00:13:58,063 --> 00:13:59,361 Is this for your foot video? 401 00:13:59,363 --> 00:14:01,155 For our foot video. 402 00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,732 I did a little bit of research, 403 00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,250 and I discovered that girl-on-girl foot-on-foot videos 404 00:14:04,252 --> 00:14:05,659 make twice the money. 405 00:14:05,661 --> 00:14:07,587 Like, three linen barrel chairs' worth. 406 00:14:07,589 --> 00:14:10,089 Really? Yes! Oh, and I also discovered 407 00:14:10,091 --> 00:14:13,259 that guys have a real thing for feet smushing fruit. 408 00:14:13,261 --> 00:14:15,687 Hmm. So if we can get the bananas to squish up 409 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,930 through our toes, jackpot. 410 00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:19,874 Got it. Well, let's do it. 411 00:14:19,876 --> 00:14:21,008 Yeah? Okay. 412 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:23,010 Jodie, you're a genius. Alrighty. 413 00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:24,420 After you. Thank you. 414 00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:27,940 Okay, now, every photoshoot needs music. 415 00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:30,927 I saw it on TV. Okay. Okay! 416 00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,762 [ Mellow music plays ] Nope. No. No. 417 00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:33,930 What? [ Music stops ] 418 00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:35,598 Unh-unh. Jodie! Well, I was thinking -- 419 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,708 Yeah? 420 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,692 Your feet are fugly. I never noticed this before. 421 00:14:38,694 --> 00:14:39,785 This is crazy. 422 00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,695 [ Laughing ] What? They're not! 423 00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:44,774 Well, I mean, they are, but I-I don't want to -- 424 00:14:44,776 --> 00:14:47,701 I don't want to scare away my biggest paying fan, Ari 13. 425 00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:49,112 And mama needs a bar cart, 426 00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:50,722 and -- and your toes are bubbly. 427 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:53,892 [ Sobs ] Jodie! 428 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,059 It's nothing to cry over. 429 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,802 Just -- Just don't wear sandals. 430 00:14:56,804 --> 00:14:59,230 [ Sobs ] 431 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,608 [ Machinery beeping ] 432 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,445 [ Hammering in background ] 433 00:15:08,391 --> 00:15:09,449 Hey. 434 00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:15,488 What's the emergency? 435 00:15:15,490 --> 00:15:20,159 One of the guys on my crew has been bullying the other workers, 436 00:15:20,161 --> 00:15:22,921 so...I'm gonna have to fire him. 437 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,665 You brought me here to -- Watch. 438 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:26,758 Okay. 439 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,426 [ Chuckles ] 440 00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:31,346 So... 441 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,661 That's right, baby. I know your kink. 442 00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:41,330 Oh, my God. I'm so turned on right now. 443 00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:42,682 Wait, wait, wait, though. Wait. What? 444 00:15:42,684 --> 00:15:44,943 I feel -- I kind of feel bad for this guy. 445 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,502 No, don't. He's a bully. 446 00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:48,112 Yeah, but I mean, aren't we all bullies deep down? 447 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,505 He drives slow in the fast lane. 448 00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:51,841 Ah, yeah. I'm back on board. 449 00:15:51,843 --> 00:15:53,159 [ Chuckles ] 450 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,696 Randy: Hey, Henry. You wanted to see me? 451 00:15:56,698 --> 00:15:58,030 Uh, yeah. Enjoy. 452 00:15:58,032 --> 00:15:59,332 Okay, okay. 453 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,627 Have a seat, Randy. 454 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,253 We got a problem. 455 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,614 Your coworkers have been complaining 456 00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:10,969 about how you're treating them with disrespect. 457 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:14,288 I won't have it. What? 458 00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:15,956 [ Gasps ] That's right. 459 00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:17,366 You're fired. Oh. 460 00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:19,460 You can't do that to me. 461 00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:20,720 Get off your high horse, Henry. 462 00:16:20,722 --> 00:16:22,671 Like you've never pushed anyone around before? 463 00:16:22,673 --> 00:16:25,041 Oh, I have. In fact, I'm doing it right now. 464 00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:27,210 Mmm. Goodbye, Randy. 465 00:16:27,212 --> 00:16:29,712 Grab your lunchbox and get the hell out of here. 466 00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:32,115 Oh. Unbelievable. 467 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,994 Mm. You ruined my life! 468 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,573 Oh, that's so hot. 469 00:16:40,575 --> 00:16:43,001 [ Panting ] 470 00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:44,910 Ah! 471 00:16:44,912 --> 00:16:46,229 So what are you doing this afternoon? 472 00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:47,580 Well, I'm gonna take the kids to the park 473 00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:49,081 and then to a -- a play-gym place, 474 00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:51,234 and then, um, probably go get some ice cream after. 475 00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:53,494 My God. Tell me how you don't go through red lights 476 00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,179 with them in the car, but talk fast. 477 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,498 I also keep Wet Wipes in the center console now. Oh, my God. 478 00:16:57,500 --> 00:17:00,501 [ Both moaning ] 479 00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:02,687 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, come on. 480 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,580 What if this whole mother thing doesn't stick? 481 00:17:04,582 --> 00:17:06,082 Like, what if I wake up one day and I decide 482 00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,416 I want to go back to the way I was before Col died? 483 00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:10,253 Before I became a, like, an actual hands-on mother? 484 00:17:10,255 --> 00:17:12,363 In the afternoons. In the afternoons. 485 00:17:13,424 --> 00:17:14,699 Then you're disgusted by me? 486 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:18,685 Babe, no matter what happens, we can always role play. 487 00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:19,853 Mm. 488 00:17:19,855 --> 00:17:20,946 Now get out of here. I have work to do. 489 00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:22,022 You're so bossy. 490 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,225 You better be baking an apple pie in bed 491 00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:25,192 when I get home tonight. 492 00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:27,378 Or else what? Or else you're fired. 493 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,088 [ Laughs ] 494 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,126 I'm a loser. 495 00:17:34,128 --> 00:17:37,129 I buy drinks with craft store cards 496 00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:39,298 and I tried to steal money from my own kid. 497 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:42,727 Well, in fairness, she probably stole it from you. 498 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,971 Sarah, I am 39 and 3/4 years old, 499 00:17:45,973 --> 00:17:49,141 and I have nothing of my own. 500 00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:52,295 Mm. That is your fault. 501 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:53,979 You gave away all your power. 502 00:17:53,981 --> 00:17:55,073 You gave it all to Dan, 503 00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:56,966 and now you're afraid to ask for it back. 504 00:17:56,968 --> 00:17:58,317 No, that's the point. I don't want to ask. 505 00:17:58,319 --> 00:18:00,620 I want something that's just mine. 506 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,064 I don't know where to start. 507 00:18:04,066 --> 00:18:06,400 And I've got ugly feet. 508 00:18:06,402 --> 00:18:07,251 Well... 509 00:18:08,404 --> 00:18:12,832 And you're so smart and pretty and brave, 510 00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:17,519 and you weren't at all afraid to throw your entire life away 511 00:18:17,521 --> 00:18:20,598 to go after what you want, which is still very much TBD, 512 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,749 but you're on your way. 513 00:18:23,511 --> 00:18:26,104 Why are you even friends with me? 514 00:18:27,498 --> 00:18:28,940 Because you loaned me underwear 515 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,850 when I sat on lemonade in first grade. 516 00:18:30,852 --> 00:18:32,092 You peed in your pants. 517 00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,320 But you told everyone it was lemonade. 518 00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:40,359 You are the kindest, most supportive, 519 00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:43,121 loyal friend that I've ever known. 520 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,364 But I'm cheating on my husband. 521 00:18:45,366 --> 00:18:47,608 Yes, you are. 522 00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:50,019 But you are very loyal to those who deserve it, 523 00:18:50,021 --> 00:18:52,964 and, you know, we're both... 524 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,115 smushing rotten fruit in a bathtub 525 00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:56,783 at 2:00 on a Tuesday afternoon, 526 00:18:56,785 --> 00:19:00,196 so I don't think either of us is doing very well. 527 00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:03,048 [ Both laugh ] 528 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:04,642 Come on. 529 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,126 Get up. 530 00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:09,796 Let's try to make a few bucks on those fugly bubble toes. 531 00:19:09,798 --> 00:19:11,223 Really? 532 00:19:11,225 --> 00:19:13,484 You think, uh, you think they can be pretty? 533 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,711 Uh, I've got filters. 534 00:19:16,731 --> 00:19:19,139 You know, the big one would look cute with cat ears on it, 535 00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,900 like a -- like a chubby little, 536 00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:23,552 square, ingrown alley cat. 537 00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:25,221 Meow. Meow. 538 00:19:25,223 --> 00:19:25,997 Meow. 539 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,723 Hey, d-- don't tag me in this. 540 00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:29,167 This should be all you. 541 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,984 There's a market for those feet. 542 00:19:30,986 --> 00:19:32,503 There are some real sickos out there. 543 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,297 [ Door opens ] 544 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,066 How did it go? She buy it? 545 00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:38,659 Hook, line, and sinker. 546 00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:40,586 I appreciate you doing that, pal. Yeah. 547 00:19:40,588 --> 00:19:43,848 Didn't realize she was gonna hit this right in there. 548 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,758 Yeah, I was surprised, too. 549 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,927 What? Uh... 550 00:19:47,929 --> 00:19:51,022 The hole goes both ways. [ Chuckles ] 551 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,840 Relax, all I saw were ankles and -- and knees. 552 00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:56,027 Or did I? [ Laughs ] 553 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,696 Okay, you're actually fired. 554 00:20:03,611 --> 00:20:05,778 ♪♪ 555 00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:07,538 -Two lattes, please. -Okay. 556 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,764 Uh, make it three. 557 00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:10,541 Hi. You look pretty. 558 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,692 Oh, thanks. 559 00:20:11,694 --> 00:20:13,102 You're never late for coffee. What's up? 560 00:20:13,104 --> 00:20:15,438 Well, Henry and I worked out our stuff. 561 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,698 You know, like, we really worked it out. 562 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,217 Boffed. 563 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,943 It still doesn't sound right when you say it, okay? 564 00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,553 But guys, I found my kink, okay? 565 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:26,540 Turns out Henry is a man, and I like it. 566 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,208 He is? Huh. 567 00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:31,562 Hey, this is on me. 568 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:32,955 I got this. 569 00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:34,232 I may have only made $68 on OnlyThrills, 570 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,733 but it was enough money for me to start 571 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:36,901 my very own private bank account 572 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,294 in my own name with my own money, 573 00:20:38,296 --> 00:20:39,478 because I am my own woman. 574 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:40,646 Good for you, Jodie. 575 00:20:40,648 --> 00:20:42,222 Oh, you got the card with the whales on it. 576 00:20:42,224 --> 00:20:44,617 -Sounds a little judgy. -Whales are great. 577 00:20:46,061 --> 00:20:48,729 Oh, no! What's wrong? 578 00:20:48,731 --> 00:20:52,141 Guys, it's Ari 13's dad! 579 00:20:52,143 --> 00:20:54,159 Turns out Ari 13 is literally 13, 580 00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:56,328 and he was making it rain with his bar mitzvah money, 581 00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:57,755 and now they want it back. 582 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,573 -Ooh. -Oh, boy. Oof. 583 00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:01,984 It was all dirty bar mitzvah cash. 584 00:21:01,986 --> 00:21:04,578 Wait, are you going to give it back? 585 00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,155 I don't know. Amy, what should I do? 586 00:21:06,157 --> 00:21:08,582 Oh, hell no. Screw that kid. 587 00:21:08,584 --> 00:21:10,159 Ah! Do you hear that? 588 00:21:10,161 --> 00:21:11,660 I'm not really a mother after all. 589 00:21:11,662 --> 00:21:14,087 I'm not that much of a mother. Oh, congratulations. 590 00:21:14,089 --> 00:21:15,088 Welcome back. 591 00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:17,516 -Ah! -I knew you'd never change. 592 00:21:17,518 --> 00:21:18,985 Phew.