1 00:00:01,243 --> 00:00:03,318 And the squeak, squeak, squeak of Dan's flossing 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,230 with his pinky in the air... Ugh. 3 00:00:06,232 --> 00:00:08,340 ...makes me want him to hit an artery 4 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:12,160 and just float away on a pool of his own blood... Mm-hmm. 5 00:00:12,162 --> 00:00:14,329 ...the floss dangling from his teeth. 6 00:00:14,331 --> 00:00:16,331 Mm. When Diana would drink water, 7 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:18,242 which was the only thing that she actually liked in life... 8 00:00:18,244 --> 00:00:21,261 [ Chuckles ] Oh. ...she would drink and then she would smack her lips -- 9 00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,521 [ Smacks lips ] No. 10 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,431 And then go, "Oh, wow, that's refreshing," 11 00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,250 as if it's news that water's refreshing. 12 00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:27,934 I wanted to rip her lips off her face. 13 00:00:27,936 --> 00:00:29,102 Yes. 14 00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:30,512 I mean, I do miss it, but... 15 00:00:30,514 --> 00:00:32,865 I'll tell you what -- what really makes me quite violent 16 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:34,424 is when Henry plays the guitar, 17 00:00:34,426 --> 00:00:35,850 he makes -- I don't even know what. 18 00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:37,277 It's like the most earnest face. 19 00:00:37,279 --> 00:00:38,871 It's like -- It's like...mmm. 20 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,764 I don't even know what it is. Oh, don't do that. Don't do that. 21 00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:43,191 But what I want to do is I want to punch him in that face 22 00:00:43,193 --> 00:00:44,451 and then I want to punch him again 23 00:00:44,453 --> 00:00:46,194 and then I want to just flick him 24 00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:47,862 as, like, the final insult. 25 00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:49,623 Hey, guys. Hey, boo. 26 00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:53,385 I am gonna go make some of my famous gazpacho. 27 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,035 Ooh. 28 00:00:54,037 --> 00:00:54,869 Yeah. 29 00:00:55,964 --> 00:00:59,391 I don't know how you stay married to him. I wanna rip my ears off my head. 30 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,726 Why? 31 00:01:01,878 --> 00:01:03,395 Oh. 32 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,138 Well, not everyone likes a cold soup. 33 00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:07,624 I get it. It's not for everyone. 34 00:01:07,626 --> 00:01:10,718 ♪♪ 35 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,962 ♪ Hey! ♪ 36 00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:15,574 ♪♪ 37 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,635 [ Mumbling ] 38 00:01:18,637 --> 00:01:20,395 [ Groans ] 39 00:01:21,398 --> 00:01:23,974 Ben: Of course, I know Sasha's upset with me, 40 00:01:23,976 --> 00:01:25,567 but it's the right decision. 41 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:28,570 It's really a bummer that I ruined my shot with Sasha, 42 00:01:28,572 --> 00:01:32,999 but I do believe deep down that Priscilla and I could... 43 00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:43,009 ♪♪ 44 00:01:43,011 --> 00:01:53,019 ♪♪ 45 00:01:53,021 --> 00:02:03,029 ♪♪ 46 00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:12,965 ♪♪ 47 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,191 [ Farts ] 48 00:02:14,193 --> 00:02:17,427 [ Mumbles ] 49 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:22,048 [ Gags ] 50 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:24,125 [ Rapid footsteps approaching ] 51 00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:26,036 Mom, Evan's trying to cut my hair! 52 00:02:26,038 --> 00:02:27,204 'Cause it looks like crap! 53 00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:28,630 It does not look like crap. 54 00:02:28,632 --> 00:02:30,390 But seriously, Nora, run a brush through it. 55 00:02:30,392 --> 00:02:32,542 You guys, you have to go make the bus. 56 00:02:32,544 --> 00:02:34,394 I can't take you to school today. 57 00:02:34,396 --> 00:02:35,970 I'm late for an appointment. 58 00:02:35,972 --> 00:02:37,156 Mom, can I have cash? 59 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,307 Backpacks on. Now, go! What for? 60 00:02:39,309 --> 00:02:40,993 Drugs. Crack, specifically. 61 00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:42,310 I really hope that's not true, Andrea. 62 00:02:42,312 --> 00:02:43,887 Is $5 enough? Thank you. 63 00:02:43,889 --> 00:02:45,647 Mm! 64 00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:47,332 Wait, no, that's mine! 65 00:02:48,410 --> 00:02:49,484 [ Sighs ] 66 00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:51,837 Come on, guys. We gotta get the bus. 67 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:56,233 ♪♪ 68 00:02:56,235 --> 00:02:58,159 Jodie. Whoa! 69 00:02:58,161 --> 00:03:00,070 Dan, what are you doing home? 70 00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:03,432 I tried to go to work, but I don't feel well. 71 00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,426 I think I'm gonna throw up. 72 00:03:06,428 --> 00:03:09,354 Oh. Is there a trash can you prefer I use? 73 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,081 Is -- Is the toilet not an option? 74 00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:14,267 No, I mean to put beside the bed. 75 00:03:14,269 --> 00:03:16,195 Or I could just lie with my head 76 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,696 pressed against the cold floor. 77 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,364 You know what? I think it's dealer's choice. 78 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,866 Just please don't use a wicker trash can from the kids' room. 79 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:21,849 I'm so sorry. I've got to go. 80 00:03:21,851 --> 00:03:23,093 Jodie! 81 00:03:23,095 --> 00:03:25,320 Do you think you could stay? I'm dizzy. 82 00:03:26,432 --> 00:03:29,599 And what if I pass out and hit my head? 83 00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:32,461 I wouldn't want you or the kids to find me like that. 84 00:03:34,273 --> 00:03:35,288 ♪♪ 85 00:03:35,441 --> 00:03:37,774 I don't want you to die like that, either. 86 00:03:37,776 --> 00:03:39,867 ♪♪ 87 00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:42,387 It's coming. Yeah. 88 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,540 Oh, w-would you get my computer, please? 89 00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:46,708 Mm. 90 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:50,187 ♪♪ 91 00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:54,066 [ Ringing ] 92 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:57,027 [ Cellphone ringing ] 93 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,130 Hey, you. Jodie: Hey, you. 94 00:04:00,132 --> 00:04:01,982 Hi. Uh-oh. 95 00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:03,891 I know that "hi." What's wrong? 96 00:04:03,893 --> 00:04:05,244 I'm so sorry to do this last minute, 97 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,729 but I'm not gonna be able to make it to our session today. 98 00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:09,063 My kid is sick. 99 00:04:09,065 --> 00:04:10,415 Take it off my series, though. 100 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,992 No, no, no. Don't even worry about it, no. 101 00:04:11,994 --> 00:04:13,477 I know you got a lot on your plate. 102 00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:15,996 Half greens, quarter protein, and a quarter carbs -- 103 00:04:15,998 --> 00:04:17,589 complex, not simple. Not simple. 104 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,815 [ Chuckles ] 105 00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:19,907 Dan: I'm gonna blow again! 106 00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:21,001 Need another trash can! 107 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,486 I'll be there in just a minute! 108 00:04:22,488 --> 00:04:24,096 [ Whispering ] But I'm running in place. 109 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,489 I'll lose the last pound from home. 110 00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:27,173 How about those jumping jack twists 111 00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:28,267 that I'm trademarking for my program? 112 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,102 They will blast the calories. 113 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,995 Here we go. And jack and twist! 114 00:04:31,997 --> 00:04:33,013 And jack and twist! 115 00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:34,848 Jack! Twist! Jack! Twist! 116 00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:36,016 Too late! 117 00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:37,501 Ugh. I'll call you back. 118 00:04:37,503 --> 00:04:38,685 High knees! 119 00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:40,428 Keep those knees high, and I'm gonna send you 120 00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:42,114 a home workout video that I recorded. 121 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,007 Little glitch -- it plays upside down, 122 00:04:44,009 --> 00:04:45,675 but otherwise, it's cool. 123 00:04:45,677 --> 00:04:49,270 ♪♪ 124 00:04:49,272 --> 00:04:50,438 Oh, uh... 125 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,791 No, I-I'm Luke's mother. I'm not trespassing. 126 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:53,959 No, I know, Mrs. Lakier. 127 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,352 Security recognizes you now. 128 00:04:55,354 --> 00:04:56,870 Quick thing. Man... 129 00:04:56,872 --> 00:04:58,112 Hey. 130 00:04:58,114 --> 00:04:59,706 Uh, today at recess, the kids were playing 131 00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:02,876 in their cars on the playground, and Macy cut Luke off, 132 00:05:02,878 --> 00:05:04,528 drove in front of him, bumped into him, 133 00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:07,197 and he called her a "bleeping bleep bleep." 134 00:05:07,199 --> 00:05:10,291 Well, I mean, is she a bleeping bleep bleep? 135 00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:12,536 Let's just say she's not a good driver 136 00:05:12,538 --> 00:05:16,056 and too old to pronounce the word animal "aminal," 137 00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:17,390 but regardless, 138 00:05:17,392 --> 00:05:19,376 we try and encourage our students to be kind 139 00:05:19,378 --> 00:05:21,320 and fill each others' buckets with positivity. 140 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,304 Shoot. Did Luke need a bucket for school? 141 00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:25,398 No, it's a metaphorical bucket. 142 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,051 Okay, well, that's way cheaper. 143 00:05:28,053 --> 00:05:29,995 Yeah. So when this sort of thing happens, 144 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,479 we usually find that it's because 145 00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:34,833 the child is parroting something they hear at home. 146 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,409 Okay, so you mean like a babysitter? 147 00:05:36,411 --> 00:05:39,504 Oh, no, no, no, no. We love Gloria here. 148 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,413 Please say hi. 149 00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:42,156 This is a more recent change. 150 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:44,401 Puberty. Nope, that's a ways off. 151 00:05:44,403 --> 00:05:46,327 Well, I developed very early, okay? 152 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:47,420 I mean, it was great at first. 153 00:05:47,422 --> 00:05:49,422 It was kind of fun and exciting, 154 00:05:49,424 --> 00:05:52,926 and then changing in gym class got a little...you know. 155 00:05:52,928 --> 00:05:54,427 I'm sure it was. 156 00:05:54,429 --> 00:05:56,613 So, uh, not to assign blame... Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 157 00:05:56,615 --> 00:06:00,192 ...but it's probably a parent Luke's parroting. 158 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:03,436 Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 159 00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:04,196 [Bleep] 160 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,697 [Bleep] [Bleep] 161 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,090 [Bleep] [Bleep] 162 00:06:07,092 --> 00:06:08,700 [ Tires squealing, car horns honking ] 163 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,202 [Bleep] [Bleep] 164 00:06:11,947 --> 00:06:13,430 Okay, I'm gonna go, 165 00:06:13,432 --> 00:06:15,265 'cause these kids aren't gonna wipe themselves. 166 00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,267 Okay, hey, I will -- I'll talk to Luke's dad 167 00:06:17,269 --> 00:06:18,359 about being a better role model. 168 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,587 He's a real loose cannon, okay? 169 00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:24,699 Wait, why did I come here? 170 00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,126 Oh, God. Luke. 171 00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:28,461 [ Laughs ] You get it. 172 00:06:28,463 --> 00:06:30,130 ♪♪ 173 00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:31,539 [ Door closes ] 174 00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:32,465 Hey, Bri. 175 00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:36,043 I got you some groceries at Fields. 176 00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:37,062 Hi. Hey. 177 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,471 These are all about to expire, 178 00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:41,048 so if I were you, I'd get on it. Oh, wow. 179 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,901 Thank you. You are spoiling us. 180 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:43,977 Where's Lila? 181 00:06:43,979 --> 00:06:46,053 Napping, I hope. 182 00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:47,147 That cheap baby monitor I got 183 00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:49,390 only picks up the neighbor's Ring cam. 184 00:06:49,392 --> 00:06:51,134 I think the wife's having an affair. 185 00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:53,412 The pest guy stays there way too long. 186 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:54,413 What a mess. 187 00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:55,972 You know, I've been meaning to clean out 188 00:06:55,974 --> 00:06:58,324 this closet for awhile. 189 00:06:58,326 --> 00:07:00,902 God, Coleen was such a slob. 190 00:07:00,904 --> 00:07:03,404 Oh, my God. 191 00:07:03,406 --> 00:07:05,815 This is the scarf! What scarf? 192 00:07:05,817 --> 00:07:07,150 Uh, the scarf. 193 00:07:07,152 --> 00:07:08,260 I don't know what you're talking about. 194 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,077 The one! The one with the chickens on it! 195 00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:12,264 She said that you tried to tie her up with this. 196 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:16,159 Okay, it's roosters, and, no, I did not. 197 00:07:16,161 --> 00:07:17,661 Unless she said it was great. 198 00:07:17,663 --> 00:07:19,162 [ Laughs ] 199 00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:20,997 I don't think that "great" was the word. 200 00:07:20,999 --> 00:07:23,090 I think it was... 201 00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:26,019 "awkward, embarrassing," oh, and "sad." 202 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:27,504 But it was a good story. 203 00:07:27,506 --> 00:07:29,096 That she wasn't supposed to tell anyone. 204 00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:31,432 She didn't. Just me, Jodie, and Amy. 205 00:07:31,434 --> 00:07:33,359 Oh. For the record, I did a great job. 206 00:07:33,361 --> 00:07:35,120 The problem was her wrists. 207 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:38,198 For such a thin woman, she had very thick wrists. 208 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,441 It's why she always wore men's watches. 209 00:07:40,443 --> 00:07:42,535 You know, Brian, not everybody's great at bondage. 210 00:07:42,537 --> 00:07:45,538 Okay, Coleen was a very unreliable narrator. 211 00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:48,875 I will show you exactly how good I did. 212 00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:51,528 Oh. Come on. Get in there. 213 00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:53,029 Be my guest. 214 00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:54,789 The first thing I can tell you you did wrong 215 00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:56,199 without seeing anything 216 00:07:56,201 --> 00:07:57,976 is that you used a scarf with chickens on it. 217 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,627 Again, roosters, 218 00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:02,129 and it was the only scarf that she'd let us ruin. 219 00:08:02,131 --> 00:08:03,356 It was a gift from my mom, 220 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,059 which probably added a creepy layer to things. 221 00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:08,061 Mm-hmm. Might be why it didn't work out. 222 00:08:08,063 --> 00:08:09,562 And done. 223 00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:12,899 See, I don't think it was her fat wrists, 224 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,475 may they rest in peace. 225 00:08:14,477 --> 00:08:15,552 I think it was you. 226 00:08:15,554 --> 00:08:17,070 Why don't you have a seat... Okay. 227 00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:18,905 ...and I will show you how it's actually done. 228 00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:20,481 You remember my ex, Diana. 229 00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:21,816 Mm-hmm. She was a freak. 230 00:08:21,818 --> 00:08:24,093 Couldn't tie her legs together. You know what I mean? 231 00:08:24,095 --> 00:08:25,987 So, uh -- Oh. 232 00:08:25,989 --> 00:08:28,081 What else did Coleen tell you about me? 233 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:30,825 Um, that you cry at rom-coms, 234 00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:32,919 uh, you love the Dave Matthews Band, 235 00:08:32,921 --> 00:08:34,254 and that you sit when you pee. 236 00:08:34,256 --> 00:08:36,181 Every man does when no one's around. 237 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,499 You have a blankie named Bolly. 238 00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:41,594 You barricade the doors at night in case of an intruder. 239 00:08:41,596 --> 00:08:43,413 Because zombies. 240 00:08:43,415 --> 00:08:44,264 Yeah. 241 00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:45,932 Amy: Alright, heads up, Luke. 242 00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:48,268 Glass incoming. 243 00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:51,863 Watch where you're going, you...nice man. 244 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,439 You very nice man. 245 00:08:53,441 --> 00:08:56,109 Mommy, you're not gonna take that, are you? 246 00:08:56,111 --> 00:08:58,519 I am. I am gonna bend over and I am gonna take it, 247 00:08:58,521 --> 00:09:01,097 because that's what we do when people upset us. 248 00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:03,099 Mother... 249 00:09:03,101 --> 00:09:06,711 of two is what I am. 250 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,713 Okay. 251 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,383 This is so hard. 252 00:09:15,797 --> 00:09:17,130 There you go. Lunge. Lunge. 253 00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:18,539 That's right. 90-degree angle! 254 00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,392 You guys are doing great. Sweet, okay. 255 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,635 For this next one, you can use any household item 256 00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:24,712 if you don't have any weights at home. 257 00:09:24,714 --> 00:09:26,790 I like to use a large bottle of shampoo. 258 00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:29,216 We're just gonna do some tricep extensions. 259 00:09:29,218 --> 00:09:31,236 Oh, you're walking. 260 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,979 And there's color in your face. 261 00:09:32,981 --> 00:09:35,982 Yeah, I think the last of it is out. 262 00:09:35,984 --> 00:09:37,801 The tea you made really helped. 263 00:09:37,803 --> 00:09:40,120 Aww. Thank you. 264 00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:42,897 I think it was food poisoning. 265 00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:46,309 I might have eaten some bad Shrimp Louie yesterday. 266 00:09:46,311 --> 00:09:47,919 Not Petruzzo's. 267 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,254 Petruzzo's. Oh, my God! 268 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,238 That is so gross! Dan! 269 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,258 They gave me back my coat and there was a mouse 270 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,151 eating a tissue in the pocket! 271 00:09:55,153 --> 00:09:57,095 I have never seen you scream like that. 272 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,914 Your face was just an open mouth. 273 00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,600 [ Laughs ] 274 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:02,992 Yeah, just like that. No! 275 00:10:02,994 --> 00:10:06,253 [ Both laugh ] 276 00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:08,273 I promise, next anniversary, 277 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,590 I will choose a restaurant 278 00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:12,110 where the rodents stay safely on the floor. 279 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,762 [ Both laugh ] 280 00:10:14,764 --> 00:10:15,855 [ Snorts ] 281 00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:17,932 Oh, the laughter, it's j-jostling the, uh... 282 00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,767 [ Gurgling ] ...warm shrimp. 283 00:10:19,769 --> 00:10:21,678 [ Laughing ] Good luck up there. 284 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:24,581 [ Laughs ] 285 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:32,464 ♪♪ 286 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,632 [ Cellphone chimes ] 287 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,425 [ Chuckles ] 288 00:10:40,866 --> 00:10:46,627 ♪♪ 289 00:10:46,629 --> 00:10:52,208 ♪♪ 290 00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:53,485 She originally started dating you 291 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,229 because of the free frozen yogurt. 292 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:59,807 But then she fell madly in love with me? 293 00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:02,068 Deeply, deeply, madly. 294 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:04,737 You were all she talked about. 295 00:11:04,739 --> 00:11:05,830 And I'm done. 296 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,391 Mm. Try to get out of that one. 297 00:11:08,393 --> 00:11:10,393 Yeah, okay. 298 00:11:10,395 --> 00:11:11,728 Oh. 299 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:12,820 Oh. 300 00:11:12,822 --> 00:11:13,988 Wow. 301 00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,156 You're really good at this. 302 00:11:15,158 --> 00:11:16,591 You should get into kidnapping. 303 00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:20,737 So, tell me something she said about me. 304 00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:24,498 I mean, she was just really proud of you. 305 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:28,428 You had such an important job, saving people. 306 00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:33,082 Touching all those gross body parts, all those fluids. 307 00:11:33,084 --> 00:11:34,267 That's it? 308 00:11:34,269 --> 00:11:37,011 Well, she thought you looked great in scrubs. 309 00:11:37,013 --> 00:11:38,179 [ Chuckles ] 310 00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:40,273 She thought you were a superhero, you know? 311 00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:42,367 Sarah Man. [ Laughs ] 312 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,536 She was really proud of you being a doctor. 313 00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:49,749 Okay, well, I'm gonna go bag groceries now. 314 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,861 Are you mad? I'm picking up a tone. 315 00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:56,214 You just told me Coleen was proud of me because I was a doctor, 316 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,291 and now I'm not a doctor anymore, 317 00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:00,367 so my feelings are hurt. 318 00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:01,553 Oh. 319 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,129 I'm -- I'm sorry. 320 00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:04,797 Was there anything else she was proud of? 321 00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:08,542 I'm -- I'm sure there were a lot of things, I just... 322 00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:12,213 can't think of them right now with you look at me like that. 323 00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:14,566 See you later, Bri. 324 00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:18,795 Oh, hey. I think you forgot something. 325 00:12:18,797 --> 00:12:19,963 Sarah! 326 00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:21,197 Sarah. 327 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,225 Sarah? 328 00:12:24,227 --> 00:12:26,819 [ Door opens, closes ] Okay. 329 00:12:26,821 --> 00:12:28,154 Hey, how was your day? 330 00:12:28,156 --> 00:12:30,731 Oh, it was, um -- My -- My day was wonderful. 331 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:33,659 Everyone was very nice and -- Oh, good. 332 00:12:33,661 --> 00:12:35,161 Glad you have your guitar out. 333 00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:38,106 Yeah, just grippin' and riffin'. 334 00:12:38,108 --> 00:12:40,425 Doing that thang. 335 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,484 So hey, hey, hey. 336 00:12:41,486 --> 00:12:43,169 So, Mr. Higgins tells me today 337 00:12:43,171 --> 00:12:45,004 that our kids repeat everything that we say, 338 00:12:45,006 --> 00:12:46,431 and Luke has just been dropping bleep-bombs 339 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,766 all around the playground. 340 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,325 Yeah. Wonder where he got that from. 341 00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,269 Yeah, well, I told him I'd have a chat with you. 342 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,329 Right, you traced the problem back to me. 343 00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:55,256 Thank you. Okay, let's stop 344 00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:57,258 pointing fingers at each other, okay? 345 00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:58,501 Higgins is the real problem here. 346 00:12:58,503 --> 00:13:01,762 He's a real piece of... sheet cake. 347 00:13:01,764 --> 00:13:05,525 So sheet cake, Luke, is a wonderful, um, dessert 348 00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:09,120 enjoyed by educators in all countries. 349 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,180 ♪ You're my sheet cake, baby ♪ 350 00:13:11,182 --> 00:13:13,349 ♪ You got so many layers ♪ 351 00:13:13,351 --> 00:13:15,109 ♪ You're my sheet cake, baby ♪ 352 00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:16,686 ♪ You got so many layers ♪ 353 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:18,855 Alright, I gotta write my feelings down. 354 00:13:18,857 --> 00:13:20,131 Luke, I'm borrowing your notebook. 355 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,133 We could go up on it. You could. 356 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,303 ♪ You're my sheet cake, baby, you got so many layers ♪ "Mr. Higgins is a real --" 357 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:29,140 And he's that, and he's that, and he's -- ♪ You're my sheet cake, baby, you ain't got any haters ♪ 358 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,326 Yeah, that writes itself. 359 00:13:31,328 --> 00:13:34,370 ♪ Sheet cake, baby, you got so many layers ♪ 360 00:13:34,372 --> 00:13:37,206 ♪ You're my sheet cake, baby, you ain't got any haters ♪ 361 00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:39,542 Oh, God. ♪ You're my sheet cake ♪ 362 00:13:39,544 --> 00:13:40,819 ♪ Sheet cake ♪ 363 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,062 So, you know, it's great. It's so good. 364 00:13:43,064 --> 00:13:44,805 Um, you know what I was thinking? 365 00:13:44,807 --> 00:13:47,474 Your playing is so delightful that maybe we save it up 366 00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:50,161 as a surprise and do a recital -- 367 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,571 you do a recital at the end of the month. 368 00:13:51,573 --> 00:13:53,832 I mean, that's -- Yeah, that's so nice. 369 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,500 Yeah. Yeah. I might not be ar-- 370 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,484 I think, I'm looking through my calendar right now, 371 00:13:57,486 --> 00:13:59,395 and I don't think I'm around at the end of the month. 372 00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:04,083 I'm probably -- ♪ My baby's not around at the end of the month ♪ 373 00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:05,844 ♪ My baby's not around ♪ 374 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,086 [ Cash registers beeping ] 375 00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:09,072 Thank you for shopping at Fields. 376 00:14:09,074 --> 00:14:11,074 You have a great day. 377 00:14:11,076 --> 00:14:12,183 Hey, I've been trying to call you. 378 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,852 You're not picking up. 379 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,245 Well, because we're in a fight, Brian. 380 00:14:16,247 --> 00:14:17,430 Why are we in a fight? 381 00:14:17,432 --> 00:14:19,173 I'm mad at you because I'm mad at myself 382 00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,842 for quitting the thing that Coleen was most proud of. 383 00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:23,844 And it's just easier to be mad at you. 384 00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:25,588 I get it. Coleen used to get mad at me 385 00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:27,590 when she was mad at herself, too. 386 00:14:27,592 --> 00:14:28,849 Yeah, I know that. 387 00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:30,869 I remembered something she was proud of you for. 388 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,705 It's too late. Just -- What? 389 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,023 She was really proud when you ran that six-minute mile 390 00:14:36,025 --> 00:14:37,691 for a high-school fitness test. 391 00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:41,212 I mean, she said it was the fastest time that anyone did. 392 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,364 I didn't do that. 393 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:44,457 I cheated. 394 00:14:44,459 --> 00:14:47,110 I've never cheated on anything in my life. 395 00:14:47,112 --> 00:14:49,536 I paid a girl to shave a minute off my time. 396 00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:51,964 I was trying to impress our gym teacher. 397 00:14:51,966 --> 00:14:53,874 Darn her beautiful breasts! 398 00:14:53,876 --> 00:14:56,060 Now I'm mad at myself again, okay? 399 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,787 So just go. 400 00:14:57,789 --> 00:14:59,455 You know, I forgot, I was gonna get some milk, 401 00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:01,733 but I'll just pick some up at the gas station. 402 00:15:04,646 --> 00:15:06,963 [ Sighs ] 403 00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:08,907 ♪♪ 404 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,226 Guys, can you meet me at the high-school track in an hour? 405 00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:14,061 I want to run the mile in under six minutes, 406 00:15:14,063 --> 00:15:15,246 but I don't want to do it alone, 407 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,897 since the girl who's been missing for five years 408 00:15:16,899 --> 00:15:18,641 was last seen there. 409 00:15:18,643 --> 00:15:21,419 ♪♪ 410 00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:26,649 [ Indistinct conversations ] 411 00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:29,485 [ Relaxing music plays ] 412 00:15:29,487 --> 00:15:33,765 ♪♪ 413 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,992 Oh, dear Lord. Oh, Mr. Higgins. 414 00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:37,493 You're early. Should we come back? 415 00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:39,345 This feels like a "come back" moment. 416 00:15:39,347 --> 00:15:41,831 No, no, no, no. Please, come in. Have a seat. 417 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,332 We really need to talk about Luke. 418 00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:48,112 [ Clears throat ] Um, with our -- with our tops off or...? 419 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,189 Don't make me send you to the principal's office. 420 00:15:50,191 --> 00:15:52,508 Why? She doing hot yoga? 421 00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:53,434 [ Laughs ] 422 00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:55,361 I'm just gonna get to the point. 423 00:15:55,363 --> 00:15:58,531 Uh, Luke brought in a poem to read for show and tell. 424 00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:00,683 Aww. How about Luke. Hey. That's great. 425 00:16:00,685 --> 00:16:03,369 "Higgins is a bleeping prude..." Oh. 426 00:16:03,371 --> 00:16:05,354 "...whose bleep is clenched so tight, 427 00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:07,799 he can make bleeping diamonds." 428 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,041 Non-rhyming poem. 429 00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:11,027 Luke stole my notebook. 430 00:16:11,029 --> 00:16:12,453 That is the bigger issue here. 431 00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:15,431 So you also have problems with your W's. 432 00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:19,811 I do. I-I-I really struggle with that. 433 00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:24,590 Look, Mr. Higgins, I'm sure you can see the -- the humor in all of this. 434 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,876 Mm-hmm. I hope you can, too. There is more. 435 00:16:26,878 --> 00:16:28,820 No. "Henry is playing the guitar 436 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,880 and making that bleeping face, 437 00:16:30,882 --> 00:16:34,367 and I want to rip it off and shove it up his bleep." 438 00:16:35,144 --> 00:16:36,310 Okay, you know what? 439 00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:37,811 I think we can say "ass," alright? 440 00:16:37,813 --> 00:16:39,146 It's an animal, and it was heavily featured 441 00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:41,332 in the Christmas story, if I recall. 442 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,243 She didn't write "ass." I gathered that. 443 00:16:44,245 --> 00:16:48,564 ♪♪ 444 00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:50,566 Wow, you really don't like my guitar face. 445 00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,568 Oh, please do not be so sensitive. 446 00:16:52,570 --> 00:16:54,762 Your texting face isn't so great, either. 447 00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:59,500 Henry, that is hurtful. I'm a lady. 448 00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:01,185 Yeah, well. You talk like a sailor. 449 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,428 You got to filter yourself. 450 00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,689 Oh, w-- I have to filter myself? 451 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,673 Are you kidding me? You don't filter yourself. 452 00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:10,010 Yeah, I do. I filter myself all the time. 453 00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:12,346 Morning, noon, especially right now. 454 00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:14,440 Okay, well, some of us aren't fake. 455 00:17:14,442 --> 00:17:15,366 This is who I am. 456 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,260 Why should I change for the kids? 457 00:17:17,262 --> 00:17:19,445 I was here first. Very mature. 458 00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:20,596 You're very mature. 459 00:17:20,598 --> 00:17:23,282 Look, no one's saying you can't be you, 460 00:17:23,284 --> 00:17:25,025 just button it up around the kids. 461 00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,452 [ Groans ] 462 00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:28,454 I'm gonna go. I have a guitar recital 463 00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:30,790 to practice for. Oh, lucky us. 464 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,441 I love you. I love you, too. 465 00:17:32,443 --> 00:17:34,701 I have faith in you. No, don't have faith. 466 00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:36,295 Nobody needs faith. 467 00:17:36,297 --> 00:17:37,797 [ Sighs ] 468 00:17:37,799 --> 00:17:44,287 ♪♪ 469 00:17:44,289 --> 00:17:46,138 [ Athletes shouting ] 470 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,640 I'm binging. Don't judge me. 471 00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:50,401 Did you know you can't curse in front of your kids? 472 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,402 Well, yes. 473 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,629 I mean, have you never read one -- 474 00:17:53,631 --> 00:17:55,556 I'm sorry. I was gonna say "parenting book." 475 00:17:55,558 --> 00:17:56,890 I mean, if I knew that I had to be 476 00:17:56,892 --> 00:17:58,392 a good influence for these things, 477 00:17:58,394 --> 00:17:59,969 I don't -- I wouldn't have signed up for this. 478 00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:01,562 If I had known that Dan was gonna get food poisoning 479 00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:02,896 and remind me of the nice Dan I married, 480 00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,248 I might not have kissed Matt. 481 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,826 You kissed Matt? Mm-hmm. 482 00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:09,253 [ Gasps ] Are you guys gonna do it? 483 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,071 I was maybe going to if I lost eight pounds, 484 00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:12,423 which I am dangerously close to. 485 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,426 Oh, you're training for an affair. Got it. 486 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,577 Shush! Shh! 487 00:18:16,579 --> 00:18:18,596 Oh, a little. I guess people can change. 488 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,414 I never would have pegged you for somebody 489 00:18:20,416 --> 00:18:22,842 who would put themselves first. 490 00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:24,418 Well, I never pegged you as someone 491 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,995 who would put her kids first. 492 00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:28,755 You're doin' it, girl! Great hustle! 493 00:18:28,757 --> 00:18:30,516 Look at you! 494 00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:32,184 Yeah, you know what? I think my kids would be 495 00:18:32,186 --> 00:18:33,260 better off without me. 496 00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:35,947 I can't control myself. 497 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,431 Oh, my God. 498 00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:39,508 You think my kids would be better off without me? 499 00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:40,526 I never said that. 500 00:18:40,528 --> 00:18:41,619 Yeah, but you never said the wouldn't. 501 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,195 Well, you used to not care what I thought. 502 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:44,864 Well, I still don't care what you think, 503 00:18:44,866 --> 00:18:46,273 but I mean, you could blow a little smoke up my ass. 504 00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:48,017 Oh, shoot, am I a bad person if I have an affair? 505 00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,368 Am I gonna have to say "shoot" now 506 00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:51,520 when I slam my finger in a drawer? 507 00:18:51,522 --> 00:18:53,038 You've got this! 508 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,707 Really good hustle! 509 00:18:54,709 --> 00:18:56,634 You know what? I'm gonna get my act together 510 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,285 and I'm gonna be a good role model for my kids, 511 00:18:58,287 --> 00:18:59,528 because you think I can't. 512 00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,622 You're gonna be a mother just to spite me? 513 00:19:01,624 --> 00:19:03,290 Well, I need incentive. 514 00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:04,717 Okay. 515 00:19:04,719 --> 00:19:07,553 I'm gonna cheat on Dan just 'cause you don't think I would. 516 00:19:07,555 --> 00:19:10,039 To spite me? Yeah. 517 00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:11,207 No. 518 00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,299 Because it was the greatest kiss ever, 519 00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:14,393 and he's really stinkin' hot. 520 00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:15,394 Stinkin'? 521 00:19:15,396 --> 00:19:16,671 No, I can't say "stinkin'." 522 00:19:16,673 --> 00:19:17,897 I can't. I can't do that. 523 00:19:17,899 --> 00:19:21,409 Oh, God. I need an outlet for this anger. 524 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,329 Wha-- What was my time?! 525 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,148 Um, uh, what -- what were you trying to beat? 526 00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:29,558 Six minutes! 527 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,242 Oh! Oh, well! 528 00:19:30,244 --> 00:19:32,336 Well, it's 5:51! Yeah! 529 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:35,064 Yes! 530 00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:37,157 Coleen, I did it! 531 00:19:37,159 --> 00:19:40,753 I'm not a doctor anymore, but I did the other thing! 532 00:19:40,755 --> 00:19:43,764 [ Panting ] 533 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,851 Well, let's go congratulate this nutbag. 534 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,577 Don't say "nutbag." It's not PC. What? 535 00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:49,854 Don't ever say it around your kids. 536 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,564 [ Groans ] 537 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,862 ♪ Drivin' down the highway ♪ 538 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,013 ♪ Drivin' so fast ♪ 539 00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:06,537 ♪ The radio's on in my Pontiac ♪ 540 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,613 I don't see a face. 541 00:20:07,615 --> 00:20:08,873 I don't know what she's talking about. 542 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,208 Yeah? 543 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,375 I just see a sexy guy doing sexy stuff. 544 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,026 Yeah, that's what I thought. 545 00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,437 Mind if I get in this a little bit? 546 00:20:14,439 --> 00:20:15,438 Let me hit it. 547 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,274 ♪ Driving down the highway ♪ 548 00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:20,459 ♪ Driving so fast ♪ 549 00:20:20,461 --> 00:20:24,296 ♪ Radio's on in my Pontiac ♪ 550 00:20:24,298 --> 00:20:26,540 Whoo! All I see is a rock god. 551 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:27,950 Thanks. Run this baby back? 552 00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:30,286 Let's back this up. Let's double team this dream. 553 00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:31,211 Mm. 554 00:20:31,213 --> 00:20:34,047 ♪ Driving down the highway ♪ 555 00:20:34,049 --> 00:20:36,308 ♪ Driving so fast ♪ 556 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:40,463 ♪ Radio's on in my Pontiac ♪ 557 00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:41,464 [ Lila crying ] 558 00:20:41,466 --> 00:20:42,314 Oh, man. 559 00:20:42,316 --> 00:20:43,407 Yeah, I think Lila's awake. 560 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,892 Uh, she's gonna want to hear this. 561 00:20:45,894 --> 00:20:47,227 Two, three, four. 562 00:20:47,229 --> 00:20:50,063 ♪ Driving down the highway ♪ 563 00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:52,250 ♪ Driving so fast ♪ 564 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:57,404 ♪ Third-row seating in my Pontiac-ac ♪ 565 00:20:57,406 --> 00:21:05,930 ♪♪ 566 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,914 You dumb [bleep] 567 00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:10,751 Use your [bleep] blinker if you're gonna make a turn. 568 00:21:10,753 --> 00:21:13,996 If you're turning to the right, use the right blinker, 569 00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:17,257 you [bleep] [bleep] 570 00:21:17,259 --> 00:21:18,925 What's wrong with her? 571 00:21:18,927 --> 00:21:21,094 She's a role model. 572 00:21:21,096 --> 00:21:22,262 I feel better. 573 00:21:22,264 --> 00:21:23,764 [ Sprinklers turn on ] 574 00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:26,617 [ Screaming ] 575 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:30,997 ♪♪