1 00:00:00,984 --> 00:00:03,335 [ Music plays ] 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,987 Okay, I'm gonna say that you like water sports, 3 00:00:05,989 --> 00:00:07,673 because that'll make you 10% more attractive. 4 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,583 This is dumb. I don't need to be on a dating app. 5 00:00:09,585 --> 00:00:11,493 This is a great place to meet people. 6 00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:13,570 I helped a very nice woman to her car the other night. 7 00:00:13,572 --> 00:00:15,497 Oh, no, we know. The banana hoarderer. 8 00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:17,832 It's "hoarder." Okay, we get it. 9 00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,259 You went to med school, alright? 10 00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:21,762 Well, yes, that is the woman I'm talking about, 11 00:00:21,764 --> 00:00:23,430 and...fine. 12 00:00:23,432 --> 00:00:25,357 Say I like water sports. I just Googled "water sports." 13 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,767 I think it means something different on the apps. 14 00:00:26,769 --> 00:00:28,435 Ugh. Okay, we're gonna do the profile picture now. 15 00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:29,677 Yeah. Thanks. 16 00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:32,197 Now? Yeah. Let's lead with the boobs. 17 00:00:33,442 --> 00:00:35,016 What? I can't believe you're doing this. 18 00:00:35,018 --> 00:00:36,035 What's happening? Ugh. 19 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,244 Read 'em and weep. Let's go. 20 00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:39,596 Huh. Ooh. 21 00:00:39,598 --> 00:00:40,688 Now, what is that? 22 00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:43,042 Is that a nursing bra? 23 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,526 It's my work bra! 24 00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,453 It's got support in the front for lifting. 25 00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,363 Oh, okay. So if you don't want someone 26 00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,457 with a moving truck, you're gonna wanna ditch that. 27 00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:52,459 Here, I've got something that'll make them pop. 28 00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:54,778 It's Tuesday "sex night" with Dan, and, you know. 29 00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,555 This is the only time it's gonna come off, so... 30 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,872 Oh. 31 00:00:57,874 --> 00:01:00,059 I'll be right here, just waiting. 32 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,119 Here you go. No, no, no, no, no. 33 00:01:02,121 --> 00:01:03,287 That doesn't go with those pants. 34 00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:05,806 I don't wear underwear in these, so... 35 00:01:05,808 --> 00:01:10,627 ♪♪ 36 00:01:10,629 --> 00:01:11,795 ♪ Hey! ♪ 37 00:01:11,797 --> 00:01:13,238 ♪♪ 38 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,982 Sarah: Guys, there's no one worth dating on these apps. 39 00:01:15,984 --> 00:01:17,467 It's like online shopping, 40 00:01:17,469 --> 00:01:19,394 but there's nothing in my size or style. 41 00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,488 Well, at least you're bi. 42 00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:24,399 I mean, imagine if you had to choose from only the men. 43 00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:26,234 Wait a minute. Does that say "Good Vibes Only"? 44 00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:28,312 Oh, God. That's not very inclusive. 45 00:01:28,314 --> 00:01:29,421 Oh, okay. Here. 46 00:01:29,648 --> 00:01:32,165 Here's someone who doesn't completely make me sick. 47 00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:33,317 Oh, yeah. 48 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:34,927 You two would have very attractive sex. 49 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:35,928 Right? Amy: Hang on. 50 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,246 Does that say Merrick Skateway? 51 00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:39,598 Look at her background. 52 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,933 [ Gasps ] It is. 53 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,327 She's wearing the uniform. She works there. 54 00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:45,162 We have to go check her out. 55 00:01:45,164 --> 00:01:47,164 And we can skate! Amy, we can take our kids. 56 00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:48,515 It would be so fun. 57 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,609 I was gonna bring them to that booger-infested playground 58 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,261 at the mall, but no, I guess this is a step up. 59 00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:55,355 Guys, I don't even want to be dating, 60 00:01:55,357 --> 00:01:57,432 much less have you as my wingmen with your children. 61 00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,267 Mm. But you are never gonna find happiness 62 00:01:59,269 --> 00:02:00,786 if you don't put yourself out there. 63 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,013 It's all about manifesting joy. 64 00:02:03,015 --> 00:02:04,698 Or so says O Magazine. 65 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,458 Oh, crap on a stick. 66 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,034 It's a mother from Luke's school. 67 00:02:08,036 --> 00:02:10,537 Hide me, please. 68 00:02:10,539 --> 00:02:12,189 ♪♪ 69 00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:14,858 Oh, excuse me. Did she just avoid me? 70 00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:16,301 The nerve! 71 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,546 Hi! I thought that was you! 72 00:02:19,548 --> 00:02:20,472 It's me. 73 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,291 [ Both laugh awkwardly ] 74 00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:26,461 I just want to say I'm sorry 75 00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:29,556 Luke wasn't invited to Dylan's party. 76 00:02:29,558 --> 00:02:31,984 I didn't -- I didn't know that he had a p-- 77 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,635 there was a party. Yeah. 78 00:02:33,637 --> 00:02:37,047 It's just that we're encouraging Dylan to be more authentic, 79 00:02:37,049 --> 00:02:39,399 and he doesn't feel like he and Luke have a lot in common, 80 00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:43,162 so it would be inauthentic to pretend they're friends. 81 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:47,891 Dylan likes animals, but not all the time. 82 00:02:47,893 --> 00:02:49,651 Yeah, right. No, of course. 83 00:02:49,653 --> 00:02:52,229 Um, we're -- we're all grown-ups here, so... 84 00:02:52,231 --> 00:02:53,246 [ Both laugh ] 85 00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:54,898 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No big deal. 86 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,082 Oh, one thing, um... 87 00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,993 I want you to know that I avoided you first. 88 00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,662 Okay, Dylan's Mom? 89 00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:03,665 ♪♪ 90 00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:05,926 Luke isn't getting invited to birthday parties now. 91 00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,244 I mean, what is that? 92 00:03:07,246 --> 00:03:09,003 When we were kids, we were taught to be nice. 93 00:03:09,005 --> 00:03:11,248 Everyone was invited, even the losers. 94 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,782 And we got a lifelong friendship out of it. 95 00:03:12,784 --> 00:03:15,435 Yes! Who -- Wait. Who are you talking about? 96 00:03:15,437 --> 00:03:18,030 Hey, hey, hey. You got a foot in the door. 97 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:19,865 [ Gasps ] Let's all just be grateful. 98 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,943 ♪♪ 99 00:03:22,945 --> 00:03:25,520 [ Chuckles ] 100 00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:27,372 Can I have one of the new Popsicles? 101 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,523 Depends. 102 00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:30,692 Who's the best mom in the whole world? 103 00:03:30,694 --> 00:03:31,785 You are! [ Laughs ] 104 00:03:31,787 --> 00:03:32,953 [ Cellphone ringing ] Grocery shopping 105 00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:34,771 is so much more fun when you come with -- 106 00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:36,423 [ Screams ] 107 00:03:38,444 --> 00:03:39,626 Hi. 108 00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:41,053 Hey, Jodie. 109 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,388 Uh, I read that Oprah article you told me about. 110 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,539 It is awesome. 111 00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:46,283 Isn't Oprah the best? [ Grunts ] 112 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:47,542 Mommy! I want a Popsicle! 113 00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:48,785 Yeah, totally. 114 00:03:48,787 --> 00:03:53,065 Um, hey, so, I am working on manifesting my joy, 115 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:56,384 and there's something that I wanted to ask you about, 116 00:03:56,386 --> 00:03:58,128 but, um... 117 00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:01,055 kind of worried that it might be inappropriate. 118 00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:02,315 You can talk to me about anything. 119 00:04:02,317 --> 00:04:05,135 Mommy, I want Popsicles! 120 00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:06,528 I want Pop-- 121 00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:09,915 Go get it! Sorry, that wasn't to you. 122 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:10,991 [ Sighs ] 123 00:04:11,143 --> 00:04:12,751 Oh, man, the gym would kill me if they knew 124 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,586 I was asking a client this. 125 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,831 Can you give me advice on starting my own fitness company? 126 00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,666 Oh. 127 00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:21,426 But it's gonna be more than a company, you know? 128 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,762 It's gonna be a-a fitness empire -- 129 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:27,599 classes, supplements, sleeveless T-shirts, you know? 130 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,993 That all sounds great, but why do you think I can help? 131 00:04:29,995 --> 00:04:31,753 Well, I mean, you used to work at a bank. 132 00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:33,830 You understand money and business. 133 00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:36,775 Plus, I've seen you use the Reminders app on your phone, 134 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,852 and that is awesome. 135 00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:40,337 Yeah, I'm pretty awesome. 136 00:04:40,339 --> 00:04:42,263 Have you ever considered taking some business courses 137 00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,932 at Nassau Community College? 138 00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:46,510 I knew you would have the answer. 139 00:04:46,512 --> 00:04:49,679 You always have the answer. You are such a real grown-up. 140 00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:51,848 Oh, shoot. I gotta go. 141 00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:54,868 Um, I got a client, but I will talk to you later, okay? 142 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,019 Thank you so much. 143 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:57,037 Really, it was nothing. 144 00:04:57,039 --> 00:04:58,714 Alright, bye. 145 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,634 Oy. 146 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,693 [ Door unlocks ] 147 00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:06,621 Don't tell your brother you licked those. 148 00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,698 They're tonight's dessert. 149 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,625 Mommy's home. 150 00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:11,793 Hi, Mommy. Hi, Mommy. 151 00:05:11,795 --> 00:05:14,629 Ooh, look, Julia. That's your mommy, remember? 152 00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,798 Okay, I think she knows who I am, Gloria. 153 00:05:18,393 --> 00:05:21,469 You're home early. Yeah, a guy fell off the scaffolding at the site. 154 00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:24,230 He'll be fine, but we're pretending he won't, so half day. 155 00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:26,158 [ Chuckles ] Hey, Luke, guess what. 156 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,161 You and I are gonna go to the roller rink right now. 157 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:32,664 But I want to work on this 700-piece puzzle 158 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,058 of an African Bear. 159 00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,576 Mm-hmm, okay, okay. So here's the thing. 160 00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:39,062 We're gonna have a little chat right now, okay? 161 00:05:39,064 --> 00:05:40,397 Alright, I'm gonna shoot you straight. 162 00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:41,823 It's time to broaden our horizons. 163 00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:44,676 I mean, the animal stuff, it's very cool, but it's a lot, 164 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,994 and I think it alienates the other kids. 165 00:05:46,996 --> 00:05:48,830 And plus, you can't go drinking in college 166 00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:49,514 with African Bears, right? 167 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,998 Of course you can't. 168 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,260 African Bears have been extinct for thousands of years. 169 00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:55,412 Yeah, Mommy. 170 00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:59,006 Okay, I need you to try to be cool, okay? 171 00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:00,359 I am begging you. 172 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,176 I know you love spending time with me, 173 00:06:02,178 --> 00:06:03,770 but it would mean a lot to your mom 174 00:06:03,772 --> 00:06:05,105 if you went roller skating. 175 00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:06,531 We'll do the puzzle tomorrow. 176 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,682 Okay, Gloria. 177 00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:09,034 Doing a great job, buddy. 178 00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:11,703 I don't know what the problem is. 179 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:12,946 He's a perfect little angel. 180 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,765 He's not getting invited to birthday parties, Gloria. 181 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:16,708 It's their loss. 182 00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:22,363 Okay, we have to fire Gloria. 183 00:06:22,365 --> 00:06:23,882 She's way too supportive of Luke. 184 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,867 We need someone more shame-y. 185 00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:27,034 I think you got that covered. 186 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,887 What are you doing? I'm trying to fix him, okay? 187 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,447 This is all your fault. 188 00:06:30,449 --> 00:06:32,540 He gets the whole animal obsession thing from you. 189 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:33,783 I'm not obsessed. 190 00:06:33,802 --> 00:06:35,118 I just like them and know everything about them. 191 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,636 Plus, I got invited to plenty of birthday parties. 192 00:06:36,638 --> 00:06:38,563 It's because you've been handsome since birth. 193 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,233 Yes, but also 'cause I was so good at magic. 194 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:44,127 You keep that to yourself. Okay. 195 00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:46,796 Look, I was Luke's age when I met Coleen. 196 00:06:46,798 --> 00:06:49,132 He's not even gonna have a dead friend to mourn. 197 00:06:49,134 --> 00:06:50,558 Don't worry, I'm sure something tragic 198 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,059 will happen to someone he loves. 199 00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,912 Oh, God. I hope so. I don't -- 200 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,229 Okay, I'm not taking Julia, 201 00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:56,990 so since you're home, thank you. 202 00:06:56,992 --> 00:06:58,808 Why can't we ask Gloria to stay? 203 00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:01,586 Because I'm home. Obviously. 204 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,329 That's... Luke! 205 00:07:03,331 --> 00:07:06,091 Jodie: [ Gasps ] You guys! 206 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,484 After all these years, 207 00:07:07,486 --> 00:07:09,169 it still smells like pound cake in here. 208 00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:10,262 Aw, Jodie. 209 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,989 That's old skate sweat and carpet fungus. 210 00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,081 That is what that is. 211 00:07:14,083 --> 00:07:15,659 Guys, do you remember Couples Skate? 212 00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:16,993 It was so hard to skate 213 00:07:16,995 --> 00:07:18,586 and make out at the same time, but we did it. 214 00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:19,512 It was! 215 00:07:19,514 --> 00:07:20,755 We managed to do it. Yeah, I didn't. 216 00:07:20,757 --> 00:07:22,165 That was my cue to hit the concession stand. 217 00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:24,184 I used to use the licorice rope as a microphone and lip-sync 218 00:07:24,186 --> 00:07:26,019 to all of the slow songs, and then I'd eat it. 219 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:27,946 [ Gasps ] Oh, my God. It's still here. 220 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,097 It's still here! I was so popular. 221 00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:31,858 Luke really does get it from Henry. 222 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:33,026 I mean, I can't believe Evan and Nora 223 00:07:33,028 --> 00:07:35,845 didn't want to come with, but their loss. 224 00:07:35,847 --> 00:07:37,197 I mean, can't you just force them to do things 225 00:07:37,199 --> 00:07:38,698 until they're big enough to overpower you? 226 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:39,941 Oh, no. They're very strong 227 00:07:39,943 --> 00:07:41,034 from all the karate they end up quitting. 228 00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:42,461 Oh. I mean, did anyone really like skating? 229 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,129 I feel like it was just the place to be. 230 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,524 Only the losers, like, liked skating. True. 231 00:07:47,526 --> 00:07:50,360 Mom, skating looks awesome! 232 00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:53,213 Aww, of course you think so, buddy. 233 00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:55,122 Guys, guys, guys. There's Seema. 234 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:58,034 Okay, go rent skates, check her out first, 235 00:07:58,036 --> 00:07:59,369 see if she'll murder me in my sleep 236 00:07:59,371 --> 00:08:02,055 or if she's hot enough to make it worth it, okay? 237 00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:04,374 Come on, Mom! Let's get skates now! 238 00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:05,725 Yes, yes. Go get skates. 239 00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:07,377 And, Luke, when you're there, 240 00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:09,136 find out if the lady behind the counter 241 00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:10,805 has a lower back tattoo. 242 00:08:10,807 --> 00:08:12,065 Okay! Okay. 243 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:12,899 Yeah, that is a deal-breaker. Great kid. 244 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:13,900 He's -- He's okay. 245 00:08:13,902 --> 00:08:16,661 ♪♪ 246 00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:23,668 ♪♪ 247 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,319 Whoa. 248 00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,488 This must be what baby penguins feel like 249 00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:30,416 as they find their footing for the first time. 250 00:08:30,418 --> 00:08:33,995 Or how a little boy feels when he first learns to skate, 251 00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:37,423 is a more normal way to say it. 252 00:08:37,425 --> 00:08:39,743 Hey, Luke. You get my intel? 253 00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:41,427 Nope. Nope? 254 00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:43,504 How was Seema? Was she terrible? 255 00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:44,914 She was terrible. I knew she'd be terrible. 256 00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:46,432 Let's go. No, she was nice. 257 00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:47,526 Super friendly. 258 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,361 That's worse than terrible. It's boring. 259 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:52,197 God, you're ridiculous. Just go talk to her. 260 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,698 It's a first date at a roller rink. 261 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,092 There's no place for this relationship to go but up. 262 00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:57,869 True. How do I look? 263 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,520 Good. Oh, wait. You've got a... 264 00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:00,613 Actually... 265 00:09:00,615 --> 00:09:04,209 Oh, my God. O-Okay. Ahh! Huh. [ Sighs ] 266 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,286 Hopefully I dry off before I get there. 267 00:09:06,288 --> 00:09:07,620 Thank you. So pretty. 268 00:09:07,622 --> 00:09:09,381 So pretty. 269 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,940 Hey, ready to hit the rink with me? 270 00:09:10,942 --> 00:09:12,108 Nope, definitely not. 271 00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:12,884 These skates were just for optics. 272 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,961 Cool. I can manifest my own joy. 273 00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:16,296 It's gonna be the old routine -- 274 00:09:16,298 --> 00:09:18,372 skate, Pac-Man, slushy, repeat. 275 00:09:18,374 --> 00:09:21,301 Jodie, um, you know that if you didn't let me 276 00:09:21,303 --> 00:09:22,619 cheat off you when we were younger, 277 00:09:22,621 --> 00:09:24,563 we probably wouldn't be friends, right? 278 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,565 [ Chuckles ] You're funny. 279 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,233 Oh. Oh. 280 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,051 Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. 281 00:09:30,053 --> 00:09:32,312 I'll save it for when they play ABBA. 282 00:09:32,314 --> 00:09:34,464 ♪♪ 283 00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:35,799 Bye, Mom! 284 00:09:35,801 --> 00:09:38,726 ♪♪ 285 00:09:38,728 --> 00:09:42,414 You must love that -- putting smiles on their little faces. 286 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,992 Uh, truthfully, not really a big fan of kids. 287 00:09:45,994 --> 00:09:47,493 [ Gasps ] Oh, I can't stand them. 288 00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:50,071 Dirty little germ buckets, am I right? 289 00:09:50,073 --> 00:09:53,291 Do you have a pair of unused skates? 290 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,652 Uh, men's size 4 haven't been touched. 291 00:09:55,654 --> 00:09:58,263 Even the guys with that size will lie and ask for a 10. 292 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,598 Right. 293 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,492 Um, full disclosure, I-I'm actually not here to skate. 294 00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:05,511 Um, I saw your profile on my dating app, 295 00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:08,014 and I dragged my friends down here to check you out first. 296 00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:10,516 Is -- Is that weird? Pretty weird. 297 00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:12,426 Too weird? 298 00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:14,687 I get it. Everyone's fake on the apps. 299 00:10:14,689 --> 00:10:17,598 So I take it your friends approved of me, then? 300 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,510 They were pretty useless, um, but, you know, 301 00:10:20,512 --> 00:10:22,954 I took a leap of faith, and so far you don't disappoint. 302 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,790 Um, but it is still early. I haven't seen you chew. 303 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,274 [ Laughs ] 304 00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:30,111 Then, uh, I guess we should hang out. 305 00:10:30,113 --> 00:10:31,463 I have two bottles of strawberry wine 306 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,614 I confiscated from some teenagers. 307 00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:36,635 Wanna get hammered and, uh, hit the rink? 308 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:40,029 Break out the men's size 4. 309 00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:44,701 ♪♪ 310 00:10:44,703 --> 00:10:46,794 Rink DJ: What up, skaters? 311 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:49,389 It's time to limbo! 312 00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:51,799 Limbo! 313 00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:53,151 Whoo! 314 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:57,397 How low can she go? 315 00:10:57,399 --> 00:10:58,823 Nice one! 316 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,568 ♪♪ 317 00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:05,664 Come on, our next lucky limbo skater! 318 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,391 This does not bring me joy. 319 00:11:08,393 --> 00:11:11,411 Well, did you preheat the oven, Dan? 320 00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:14,339 Yes, well, that's why the pizza's cold in the middle. 321 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:22,013 ♪♪ 322 00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,259 ♪♪ 323 00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:30,021 Oh, I'm having major flashbacks of you during Couples Skate. 324 00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:34,842 At least back then I still had hope things would get better. 325 00:11:34,844 --> 00:11:36,769 Could still cling to my dreams 326 00:11:36,771 --> 00:11:41,032 of a husband and kids and a house. 327 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,536 You got all that. 328 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:47,855 It's not how I imagined. 329 00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:50,266 I wanted the fairytale version. 330 00:11:50,268 --> 00:11:52,936 I wanted my life to feel like "Pretty in Pink." 331 00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:54,103 Oh, my God. No, you didn't. 332 00:11:54,105 --> 00:11:55,621 First of all, that dress was a disaster. 333 00:11:55,623 --> 00:11:57,290 [ Gasps ] Redheads should not wear pink. 334 00:11:57,292 --> 00:11:58,791 Who said she could wear that? 335 00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,385 I'm saying it. She made that dress. 336 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,536 Yeah. It looked like a potato sack. 337 00:12:02,538 --> 00:12:05,631 Okay, clearly, you don't get it. 338 00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:08,709 I can't manifest joy. 339 00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:10,895 Nothing ever changes. 340 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,564 Nothing ever changes. 341 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,065 Nothing ever changes. 342 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,400 I want to skate with Matt. That'll never happen. 343 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,310 That's just another dumb fantasy. 344 00:12:17,312 --> 00:12:19,070 If they don't sell licorice rope, 345 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,888 I am burning this place down. 346 00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:22,131 Ooh. [ Chuckles ] 347 00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:24,576 Exciting. 348 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,818 Oh. 349 00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:27,136 ♪ Ooo ♪ 350 00:12:27,138 --> 00:12:28,562 ♪ I just wanna get away ♪ 351 00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:30,397 Luke: Mom, look! 352 00:12:30,399 --> 00:12:33,659 I'm so fast, I'm like a peregrine falcon. 353 00:12:33,661 --> 00:12:34,978 Oh, that's great, Luke. 354 00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:38,072 Maybe just reel it in a little bit, buddy. 355 00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:39,332 ♪ Ooo ♪ 356 00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:41,985 ♪ We could find a better place ♪ 357 00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:45,822 [ Laughter ] 358 00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:47,323 ♪ Ooo ♪ 359 00:12:47,325 --> 00:12:49,768 ♪ We could find a better place ♪ 360 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,995 ♪♪ 361 00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:54,998 Okay. Hey, hey, hey. 362 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,107 Hey, girls. 363 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,759 Hey. Where do you get off? 364 00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:00,503 I bet you don't even know what a peregrine falcon is. 365 00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:03,264 You want to know why? 'Cause you're basic. 366 00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:05,191 [ Scoffs ] Whatever. 367 00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:06,676 ♪ We could find a better place ♪ 368 00:13:06,678 --> 00:13:08,528 ♪ Better, better, better ♪ Flap away, Luke. 369 00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,288 Flap your little heart out, buddy. 370 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,532 Flap your little heart out. Go. 371 00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:14,108 Yeah. 372 00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:18,855 [ Dance beat plays ] 373 00:13:18,857 --> 00:13:21,833 Okay, alright. This seems like -- 374 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,359 Oof. Oh, God. 375 00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:25,211 This is really wedged in there. Right? 376 00:13:25,213 --> 00:13:26,712 I think it might just be a part of you now. 377 00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:28,714 Um, your profile said you worked out, 378 00:13:28,716 --> 00:13:30,642 so give it a go. 379 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,552 Okay. Okay. 380 00:13:32,554 --> 00:13:34,720 [ Grunts ] 381 00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:36,389 Oh! 382 00:13:36,391 --> 00:13:39,466 [ Both laugh ] 383 00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:41,060 Oh, my gosh. Ahh. 384 00:13:41,062 --> 00:13:43,137 [ Sighs ] 385 00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:45,490 You know, you should really get this checked out. 386 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:50,829 It looks like an asymmetrical melanocytic nevus. 387 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,389 It's got some concerning discoloration to it, as well. 388 00:13:53,391 --> 00:13:55,058 Geez, you sound like a doctor. 389 00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,560 Oh, I was. I mean, before I was a bagger. 390 00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:59,653 I didn't kill anyone. It -- It was a choice. 391 00:13:59,655 --> 00:14:01,005 Wow. 392 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,508 Wow, wow. 393 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,251 It's been 12 whole minutes 394 00:14:05,253 --> 00:14:07,011 and you had to stick it in there 395 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,071 that you're a doctor. 396 00:14:08,073 --> 00:14:09,255 Oh, I'm -- N-No. 397 00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:10,907 It's just because I saw something, you know, 398 00:14:10,909 --> 00:14:12,833 possibly pre-cancerous on your face. 399 00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:14,927 No, it was important for you 400 00:14:14,929 --> 00:14:16,670 that I know you're not just a bagger. 401 00:14:16,672 --> 00:14:20,341 And clearly, you just had to rub it in my face. 402 00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:23,236 I think you might have an inferiority complex. 403 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,363 Oh, so you're a psychologist now, too? 404 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,090 Oh, no. I was a real doctor. 405 00:14:27,092 --> 00:14:28,608 Wow. [ Scoffs ] 406 00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:31,277 I think we're done here. I'm gonna get your shoes. 407 00:14:31,279 --> 00:14:32,353 Okay. 408 00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:34,372 Because I'm just a shoe person. 409 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,125 Mm, not a very good one. These aren't mine. 410 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,628 Wow. 411 00:14:41,289 --> 00:14:42,772 Yeah, right there. 412 00:14:42,774 --> 00:14:46,533 Hey, everybody. We got the reverse-skate coming up. 413 00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:48,887 Uhhhh...Hi. 414 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,463 You can't talk to my kid like that! 415 00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:52,115 Oh, God. I talk to all kids like that. 416 00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:54,375 Plus, it was your kid who insulted my weird son, 417 00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:56,802 so if anyone deserves an apology, it's me. 418 00:14:57,213 --> 00:14:58,955 Oh, God. I don't like where this is going! 419 00:14:58,957 --> 00:15:01,290 Brace yourselves, party people! 420 00:15:01,292 --> 00:15:05,386 Okay, go over here. It's time to...rewind! 421 00:15:05,388 --> 00:15:08,072 Re-- What? Oh, my God. 422 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,723 Oh, my God. Ahh! 423 00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:10,724 Okay, I'm sorry! 424 00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:13,060 ♪♪ 425 00:15:13,062 --> 00:15:15,805 [ Humming ] 426 00:15:15,807 --> 00:15:19,233 ♪♪ 427 00:15:19,235 --> 00:15:24,830 And we're going to get kicked out, just like always. 428 00:15:24,832 --> 00:15:26,424 Amy: Okay, okay, look. I'm sorry. 429 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,926 Your daughter's really great! 430 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,318 This is all my husband's fault. 431 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,820 He is the one that you want! 432 00:15:30,822 --> 00:15:32,155 Amy, grab on! 433 00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:33,914 Oh, my God, you saved me! 434 00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:34,933 You feel so thin. 435 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,826 Oh! Matt has me doing burpees. 436 00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:38,995 Clearly the gym sparks joy. 437 00:15:38,997 --> 00:15:40,830 Oh, my -- Excuse me. 438 00:15:40,832 --> 00:15:43,424 [ Gasps ] We started a conga line! 439 00:15:43,426 --> 00:15:46,686 No! Get off! Get off! I'm not into this. 440 00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:47,928 Aw, you're no fun. 441 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:50,431 Oh, my God, you really are a good skater. 442 00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:51,950 I know. You know what, though? 443 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,193 I was never really good at stopping, so, uh... 444 00:15:54,195 --> 00:15:55,286 Wait, what do you mean? Yeah. 445 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,122 Save yourself. Oh, my God! 446 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,198 Ugh! 447 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,708 This day just keeps getting better. 448 00:16:01,944 --> 00:16:04,020 Oh, God. Are you okay, Mommy? 449 00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:05,463 Yeah, no. I meant to do all that. 450 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,132 [ Laughter ] 451 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:12,361 That's right, keep skating, or my mom will attack you 452 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:15,139 like a red-tailed hawk eats a rabbit! 453 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,308 Yeah! Raarrr! 454 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,793 Oh. That's not what they sound like. 455 00:16:19,795 --> 00:16:20,961 Okay, you need to work with me 456 00:16:20,963 --> 00:16:23,147 a little bit here, okay, buddy? 457 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,060 ♪ Yeah, let's celebrate ♪ 458 00:16:28,062 --> 00:16:29,988 You sure you gave me your shoes? 459 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,564 Well, I didn't come in socks. 460 00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:33,807 Wow. 461 00:16:33,809 --> 00:16:35,309 Hey. Hey, guys. Let's go. 462 00:16:35,311 --> 00:16:36,569 Forget about your shoes. You're never gonna find them. 463 00:16:36,571 --> 00:16:37,495 Oh. 464 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,997 They can't leave with their skates. 465 00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:41,332 Well, thanks to you, they also can't leave with their shoes. 466 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,408 Good luck with your face. 467 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:44,502 ♪ It's time to laugh, to love ♪ 468 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,896 ♪ To let it all go ♪ I hate you guys for making me date. 469 00:16:46,898 --> 00:16:49,674 I feel like that's on Diana for blowing up your marriage. 470 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,585 Meh. Mating for life is overrated. 471 00:16:52,587 --> 00:16:54,237 No, I think I need to lock something down 472 00:16:54,239 --> 00:16:56,347 while I'm still hot. 473 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,424 Luke. Luke! 474 00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:00,092 Ca-caw! Ca-caw! 475 00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:02,578 Time to fly the coop, baby bird. 476 00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:05,097 Own it. Own it, baby bird. You got this. 477 00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,599 ♪ Yeah, let's do this ♪ 478 00:17:06,601 --> 00:17:11,696 ♪ We're gonna have a party, gonna celebrate ♪ Aww. 479 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,922 [ Knock on door ] 480 00:17:12,924 --> 00:17:15,867 [ Lila crying ] 481 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,618 Oh. 482 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,931 Whenever I had a crappy day, 483 00:17:22,024 --> 00:17:24,267 I would come here and Coleen would take my mind off it. 484 00:17:24,269 --> 00:17:27,194 Well, she's not here. So out of habit, I-I came by. 485 00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:30,790 Great. Lila's in her crib. You guys can cry together. 486 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,458 I'm gonna go to bed. 487 00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:34,443 You're not wearing any shoes. 488 00:17:34,445 --> 00:17:36,612 She's teething. Good luck. 489 00:17:36,614 --> 00:17:38,781 Well, if I'm gonna keep getting in fights 490 00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,541 at the roller rink, I have to start training. 491 00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:43,061 Hey, do you think I can do Krav Maga on skates? 492 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,454 Is that a thing? You know what? 493 00:17:45,456 --> 00:17:48,791 I'm proud of you for embracing our son, 494 00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,568 in your own bizarre way. 495 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,128 Well, I mean, it's just who I am now. 496 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:53,963 I'm a red-tailed hawk, so... 497 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:55,222 Is that right? Mm. 498 00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:56,465 Oh. 499 00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:59,135 Well, come here, you winged beast. [ Chuckles ] 500 00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:00,653 [ Knock on door ] Oh, and that's a kid. 501 00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:02,246 Okay. [ Door opens ] 502 00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:05,416 Pick a card, any card. 503 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,159 Aww. You know you're the reason 504 00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:08,235 bad things happen, right? 505 00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:09,662 Are you gonna let him do the trick? 506 00:18:09,664 --> 00:18:11,297 Mm-hmm. Pick a card, Mommy. 507 00:18:12,074 --> 00:18:13,165 There we go. 508 00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:15,760 [ Siren wails in distance ] 509 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:21,081 ♪♪ 510 00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:22,583 [ Car alarm chirps ] 511 00:18:22,585 --> 00:18:27,605 ♪♪ 512 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:32,759 ♪♪ 513 00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:34,670 Hey! 514 00:18:34,672 --> 00:18:36,689 I'll give you a lift. 515 00:18:36,691 --> 00:18:39,283 Oh, sorry. 516 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,676 Ignore that. 517 00:18:40,678 --> 00:18:42,954 Thanks. This parking lot always gives me the creeps. 518 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:45,030 Ah, you got the guns to protect yourself. 519 00:18:45,032 --> 00:18:46,607 I got a spot by the back door. 520 00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:48,442 It's right up next to the dumpster, though, 521 00:18:48,444 --> 00:18:50,853 but you can just crawl out on my side. 522 00:18:50,855 --> 00:18:54,799 ♪ We fight and delight in the tears that we cry ♪ 523 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,876 ♪ Until dawn ♪ 524 00:18:56,878 --> 00:18:58,970 ♪ Oh, whoa ♪ 525 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,196 ♪ Hold me now ♪ 526 00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:02,531 [ Engine turns off ] [ Sighs ] 527 00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:06,552 Hey, so, I have some, uh, kind of major news. 528 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,148 I signed up for some of those business courses. 529 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,798 Oh, fantastic. Yeah. 530 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,209 That's great news. Yeah. 531 00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:14,894 I'm really glad that I came to you about that. 532 00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:16,379 I mean, you're the smartest person I know. 533 00:19:16,381 --> 00:19:18,230 [ Laughs ] The smartest? 534 00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:20,158 Yeah. Rea-- You think? 535 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,218 Yeah. Yeah, really. Really? 536 00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:25,454 I, uh -- I think that you're the total package. 537 00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:28,908 Thank you. 538 00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:31,002 That brings me joy. 539 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,171 Um, and there's something else 540 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,247 that I-I've been wanting to tell you. 541 00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:37,733 Um... 542 00:19:37,735 --> 00:19:39,660 and if I don't just say it now, I'm -- I'm -- 543 00:19:39,662 --> 00:19:41,345 ♪ Go far away ♪ 544 00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:45,074 I'm very attracted to you. 545 00:19:45,076 --> 00:19:47,018 ♪ There's nowhere that I'd rather be ♪ 546 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,020 I think you're cute, too. 547 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:50,855 Really? 548 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:54,692 Because I-I've been wanting to kiss you for awhile now. 549 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,861 ♪ Whoa, warm my heart ♪ 550 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,680 Oh, God. That was inappropriate. 551 00:19:59,682 --> 00:20:01,607 I'm so sorr-- And you can't even get out. 552 00:20:01,609 --> 00:20:03,350 I-I've trapped you! I'm a sexual predator! 553 00:20:03,352 --> 00:20:06,353 You're not! It's okay 'cause I'm very into it. I'm so sorry. 554 00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:08,372 And it would only be a kiss. 555 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,874 Yeah? 556 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,875 Well... 557 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,359 No. No. You're married. 558 00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:15,955 I mean, yes, we are technically married, 559 00:20:15,957 --> 00:20:19,124 but we're not... doing great. 560 00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,867 I'm sorry to hear that. 561 00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:23,963 ♪ ...me and we're laughing, we're loving it all ♪ 562 00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:25,965 Well, it's more than just kissing. 563 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:29,785 I'd really like to do more. 564 00:20:29,787 --> 00:20:32,212 ♪♪ 565 00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:35,215 And that was more inappropriate, and I'm so sorry. 566 00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:38,143 I-I keep -- I don't know why I just keep just talking. 567 00:20:38,145 --> 00:20:39,628 Can I lose eight more pounds first? 568 00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:41,630 ♪ ...tears that we cry until dawn ♪ 569 00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:43,132 Before we do more? 570 00:20:43,134 --> 00:20:48,637 ♪ Oh, hold me now ♪ 571 00:20:48,639 --> 00:20:51,807 ♪ Whoa, warm my heart ♪ 572 00:20:51,809 --> 00:20:53,826 Can we make it six pounds? 573 00:20:53,828 --> 00:20:54,901 ♪ Stay with me ♪ 574 00:20:54,903 --> 00:20:56,312 Definitely. Let's go do burpees. 575 00:20:56,314 --> 00:20:57,404 Okay. 576 00:20:57,406 --> 00:21:00,240 ♪ Let loving start, let loving start ♪ 577 00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:02,818 I got it. Okay. I'll help you. 578 00:21:02,820 --> 00:21:04,595 ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪