Sorry, this gift card is expired.
That's because it belonged to our dear friend Coleen.
She has sadly... passed on.
Listen, man, we're not doing great, okay?
She used to be a doctor. Now she's bagging groceries.
Whoa. Number-one chain in the nation.
And this one hasn't had a carb in about eight weeks
'cause she's trying to bag her trainer.
I'm doing it for my health. Jeez.
And I have decided to be a mother in the afternoons.
So could you just take a little pity on us and swipe the card?
I pity you. A lot of us do.
But...still a no.
Okay.
You know what? You keep the card, Pete.
I'll get our $33 another way. Okay?
Just gonna -- A little doily burrito.
Well, those are free, anyway, so...
Oh, hey, hey, hey! You can't just --A few of these.
A few of these, and one of these, one of those.
-No, no. -You poked the bear, Pete.
This is on you. This is on you.Wow!
Let's get it in there. No cup left behind.
Wait!
Could you get in trouble for taking all that stuff?
Is it stealing?No, it's in the gray zone at best.
Does anyone want a muffin-bite?
-Oh. Carbs. -I'm good.
Uh-huh.
[ Muffled ] It's so dry! Does anybody have water?
Do you want to spit it out?
See you back here tomorrow!
♪♪
♪ Hey!
♪♪
Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
No need to flatter me. You already got me.
No, it's my right boob. There's a sharp pain.
I think there's something really wrong.
Ow. It's very serious, I think.
Oh, my God.
[ Chuckles ] You don't even care if I'm dying.
Well, it's hard to take you seriously when yesterday,
you said your kidneys "felt weird." Ow.
The day before that, you had "odd, patchy skin" on your back.
Oh, and then you said your tongue was "bumpy."
It's still bumpy.[ Sighs ]
Henry, my friend died, okay?
It's normal for me to be a little scared.
But you're healthy.
Go see your doctor so he can tell you.
Or she. Or she.
Okay, thank you. It is a guy, though.
[ Sighs ]Coleen was healthy.
She went to the doctor.
Eight months later, she was dead, okay?
She didn't -- Hey, she didn't even have a bumpy tongue.
Alright. Well, let's save the sexy talk for later.
I gotta go to work.
Okay, maybe we can try again this afternoon.
I-I probably won't be dying by then.
I was planning to go for a run. Oh, good.
'Cause I'm all of a sudden very aware of my spleen.
I know you think I'm crazy, Henry, but my friend died!
If Coleen can get cancer, anyone can!
Okay!
Andrea! Do you have your soccer cleats for practice?![ Cellphone ringing ]
I cleaned the dog poo off for you!
You're welcome!
Oh!
[ Exhales sharply ]
[ Cellphone beeps ]
Hey, there.
Hey. Uh, hope I'm not calling at a bad time.
Andrea: Where are my cleats?!
What? No way. What's up?
Um, well, I --Nora: Mom!
Evan hit my tooth, and it's loose!
Aww. Are those your kids?
My -- Oh, ki-- No.
I mean, I barely -- What's up?
Well, I just wanted to see
if maybe you wanted to meet in the park this afternoon?
But I'm not scheduled for today.
No, no, no, I know. It's just --
It's such a freakin' beaut out. I thought it might be fun.
Sure thing. My day's wide open.
Great. I'll, uh -- I'll text you the details.
Bye.[ Cellphone beeps ]
[ Gasps ]
Huddy: Alright. You knocked Barry off the wall in just a week.
And...
congratulations on Employee of the Month.
Thank you.Oh. Congrats, Sarah.
Nice job.
Oh, hey, Rudy. Thank you.
I-I'll see you out there.
Look at that, Huddy.
Rudy knows my name now.
I'm not just "noob" anymore.
Hi. Amy.
Plastic, and I need you to feel something.
Please don't make me touch your body again.
You are not dying. I'm sorry.
Um, no. I really need you to feel my boob, okay?
I-I think there's a mass.
Just want you to know, you are ruining boobs for me.
Okay, well, just -- just get in there.
Just get in there.
[ Grunts ] Yeah. Oh, yeah, no.
You're already finding it. See? Uh-huh.
You can't not feel it. See?
Amy, I really feel like Coleen's death is affecting you.
I mean, you're obviously going through something.
Well, that would hold a lot more water
if you weren't a doctor bagging groceries.
Okay. That was low.
It is not a lump. It's a floating rib.
Ew. Ew?
What kind of bedside manner is that?
Oh, my God. Hi!
Wait, what are you doing here?Hi.
Are you guys hanging out without me?
I am working, and she's dying apparently.
Oh. Okay.
Because now that Coleen's gone, there's only three of us,
and someone always gets left out, and I feel left out.
What is happening here?
Since when do you wear jeans and boots?
You look so nice.
Is this an old-timey picnic basket?
Matt asked me to meet him at the park today.
It felt very flirty.
We've never gotten together outside the gym.
This is major.
Is this really still going on?
You're a cliché. You know that?
No offense.
Well, offense.
Honestly, what is the end game here?
I mean, you guys have sex, he gives you HPV,
and then that spirals right into cervical cancer,
and then, I mean, poof, you're dead.
Dan gave me HPV years ago. I think I'm fine.
Okay. And thank you for shopping at Fields.
Okay, no, no, no, no, no.Goodbye.
I need to know where this rib is floating to.
What if this is the reason I have so many spleen issues?
This is related to --Hey, hello.
Hi.Hi.
Uh, would you guys mind maybe moving
your sleepover party outside?Mm-hmm.
Rude.Thank you.
Thanks for shopping at Fields.
Nice friends.No, no, I don't -- I don't know them.
Okay.
♪♪
[ Train horn blows ]
[ Cellphone chimes ]
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
Okay, so I texted Henry to tell him that I was gonna live,
and this is what he came back with.
So, he's got this app that tracks his jogging route.
He's trying to spell the word "Jets" for the New York Jets.
He's a crazed fan.
But, I mean, it's impressive, isn't it?
I mean, and -- and really pointless.
Oh, man. The "S" crosses Sunrise Highway three times.
That has the highest death rate in the tri-state area.
Between the blindspot and the drag racing and the curse,
it's a death parade.
Eh. Nah, he's fine. I think he'll live.
Yeah, you better hope so.
My cousin Tony dropped dead at 43.Oh, here we go.
Left his wife Lorraine with three kids.Mm-hmm.
Her life became an endless cycle of work and childcare.
Every bedtime. Alone.
Every poopy diaper. Alone.
Weird puberty stuff? Alone.
She aged 20 years in one.
You think youlook like an old mom.
Okay.
[ Birds chirping, dog barks in distance ]
Matt: Jodie!
Oh, there you are! Hey!
How about this day, huh?
Freakin' beaut.
What's in the basket?
Well, I just came from a thing,
and I was gonna change when I got here,
but I guess I just accidentally picked this up
instead of my workout bag.
[ Chuckles ]And here we are.
Well, right on. Let's get started, yeah?
Look, we can do this some other time.
No, no, no, no. Please, no.
You came all the way here for a workout.
I'm gonna give you a workout, okay?
We do kinda got to hurry,
'cause I gotta get through all you moms before school gets out.
So let's start with some squats.
Yeah? Okay?
One.
[ Groans ] It's just --Great.
Okay, you gotta get a little bit lower than that.
It's good, though. That's good.
And -- There you go. That's better.
[ Sniffs ] Do you wanna slip the shoes off?
Might help.
I think everything should probably stay on.
Yeah? You -- You sure?Yep.
Hey, everyone.
Guys -- Guys have you seen this?
Someone has drawn a phallus and I want to say testes
on -- on my Employee of the Month picture.
Did -- Did some random teen get back here?
[ Laughter ] Oh.
Good razz. Very funny, guys.
Nobody likes a winner.Or a wiener.
You know, we could all be winners, you know, Rudy?
I mean, we could be doing so much more here.
I mean, you --
you could be color-coordinating the cereal boxes!
A-A-And, Mary-Louise, those baskets could be stacked
so much neater, don't you think?
I mean, all it takes is one person to make this change.
And I am so happy that I get to be that for you.
So join me in -- in excellence, won't you?
[ Chuckles ]
♪♪
[ Sighs ] What are you doing?
Tying my shoes so I can go for a run.
Have you never seen me do this?
Wait, not the Jets run.Hell yeah, the Jets run.
J-E-T-S. You know it, babe.
J-E-T-S.Jets, Jets, Jets!
J-E-T-- I know. Okay, you know what?
You can't go to Sunrise Highway. Okay?
It is very dangerous and possibly cursed.
What? Yeah.
You have to cross it three times to make the "S."
Four times. So what?
Henry...I don't want you to die, okay?
I can't live without you.That's really sweet.
Donna's cousin Tony died, left Lorraine with the kids.
She had to raise them all by herself.
Do you know how old she looks now?
It's awful.
Oh. Okay.
I'll see you later.No, no. Eh -- Mnh-mnh.
You have to listen to me,
and not just because I'm the alpha here,
but because my friend died, okay?
So, please?
Okay. Fine.
I won't go for this run,
if you'll stop using so much fake sugar.
Hmm? Uh-huh.
I heard it causes cancer,
and I don't want to be alone with the kids, either.
Fine, fine. I will stop with my yellows.
I just -- Let me just finish
what I stole from the coffee shop.
It's a long story.
Oh. Let me guess -- you were in the right?
I was.
[ Scanner beeping ]
Wait.
I just refilled my bags.
You know what?
These are going to be on me.
We are gonna fit all of this into this bag.
That's not gonna work.
I have stuffed intestines back inside a man's stomach cavity,
so I-I think I can make this work.
Fiber, and eggs on top.
Oh. It's a little -- It's a little heavy.
[ Groans ] Careful.Just give it to me.
Alright. Okay. Alright.
Oh. Bend your knees. I used to be a doctor.
Thank you for shopping at Fields.
If you're out of bags, maybe you could go
color-coordinate the cereal box aisle.
I would love to!
♪♪
28 -- Don't stop.
29. 30.
Boom! Done.
Great job today, Jodie. Seriously.
You know, you're not like my other clients
who just take the whole hour to hit on me.
It's like the opposite of Me Too.
It's like #TooMe or something.
So gross!
Uh, hey. Bye!
We haven't done your post-workout stretch yet!
You know what? I'm already loose.
I'm just -- I mean, I'm not loose.
You know what I mean. I just...
Jeez, Jodie.
Jodie!
Hey. Ah --
You forgot your other purse --
Aah! Ew! Bee![ Bee buzzing ]
Whoa, okay. Alright.
Bee! S-S-Stay calm.
Stay calm, alright? They don't want to sting you.
They just -- Ow!
Oh! It got you!Oh!
Oh, wait.
Bastard. I can help!
[ Groans ] Wait. I can suck out the stinger.
I've got everything in this purse.
Oh, man. Okay.
[ Groans ] Got me right in my pec.
Crap, that really hurts.Oh.
Ow.
I'm surprised it could get its stinger in there.
It's very hard. Yeah.
Hold still.
♪♪
♪ I just can't live without your sweet love ♪
Thank you.
Oh, here's -- Just --
Oh, you got superhero ones?!
You must be a great mom. [ Chuckles ]
Take all of them.
Sick. Thank you.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Sighs ]
Hey.
You forgot your other purse again.
[ Chuckles ] You want me to put it in the back?
Yes. Yeah.
Please.
Pbht.
Okay. What's the emergency?
Did you get a second opinion on my floating rib?
Don't tell me. No, don't -- Mm.No. Amy, Amy.
I need you to stuff the comment card box
with negative reviews about Rudy.
I will get you started.
He doesn't wash his hands after peeing.
Okay, but are we really supposed to do that every time?
Every time.Oh.
Oh, my God.
I can smell you from outer space.
Did you get mugged, or -- Ugh.
Guys, guys.
Look at what my co-workers did to me out of jealousy.
I took a picture of it.
[ Chuckles ][ Gasps ]
It's such good work. Look at that.It's not funny, Amy.
Mnh-mnh.They took my bags, too. I'm being bullied.
[ Muzak plays ]
Ooh. So unsanitary.
Okay, screw the comment cards. I was a bully in high school.
I am so ready to take out some pent-up aggression
on an essential worker.Great.
You.
Are you the one that drew the, uh --
the thing on our friend's face?
Oh, sure did. It was self-modeled.
Why? Oh.
That type of behavior is not okay.Mm-hmm.
You need to apologize to Sarah right now!
Look, I didn't want it to get to this point,
but she left me no choice.
She gave a motivational speech in the break room.
I love her motivational speeches.
They're why I floss every day.
[ Sighs ] Listen, we like to slack off here,
and she's upsetting the chillaxed mood.
Because of her, the powers that be
think that we can be doing more.
Oh, boy. Okay. You know what?
This is sounding all too familiar.
This is sounding like elementary school all over again.Huh.
We started getting math homework because of her.
Yeah, and then she got put in the advanced classes
with all the other dorks.
We get it, Rudy.
We know what you're going through, buddy.
We got your back. Thank you.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I am exactly 11 1/2 minutes late to my shift,
the normal amount of late to go back to work.
[ Laughing ] Yeah, true dat. Okay.
Self model. Do you know believe that?
Come on.
So, did he cop to it?Yeah.
He copped to you being a narc, Sarah.
Did you not learn anything from elementary school?
You think I want to be like this?
I'd love to be a slacker. I can't help myself.
Well, you have to try harder to do less.
Yeah. I mean, isn't that why
you made this whole dumb life change?
Well, they hated me in the ER, too.
I saved too many lives.[ Cellphone rings ]
Hey.Hmm.
[ Henry panting]Why are -- Why are you panting?
Henry? Did you butt-dial --
Did you butt-dial me from the Jets run?
He butt-dialed me from the Jets run.
What's a Jets run?Oh, it's a deadly run, and --
and he's gonna leave me with those kids,
and then I'm gonna have to explain to Luke what an erection is.
Please don't do that.
Oh, no. That's what YouTube is for.
Okay, I have to go save him. Sarah, you have to come with me.
I might need a doctor.
Do you still have paddles in your car?
I do, but I still have 10 minutes left on my shift.
Okay, then you're definitely coming with me.
Do you want to be a loser for the rest of your life?
I-I-I can skip out, if I -- if I want.
I'm totally available.Okay, can we not do this dance?
Please? Yes, you're coming.
We're all going.
Okay. I got invited.
-Yeah, go, go, go. -Yes, yes. Got an invite.
I've got snacks.I'm taking off early.
To be clear, my shift is not over, but I am leaving!
Have you been letting squatters live in your car?
What is going on here?
I am a mother in the afternoon, so just -- just back off, okay?
Oh, my God! Was this coffee brewed in hell?!
Aah! It's so hot!Oh, we got comment cards
that, uh, said the coffee wasn't hot enough.
Oh. Okay, can someone please tell me where I'm going?
I had a terrible day. Please don't make me navigate.
Aw, did your boyfriend fall off the monkey bars at the park?
He's not my boyfriend.
He just sees me as another dried-up old mom.
So I'm going in there tomorrow, and I'm telling him we're done.
Even though we never started.
You know what? Why don't you just tell him now?
No! Don't -- Don't move that! Call him.
That's my -- Ugh.No, because I'm gonna do it in person.
We had a very serious relationship in my head.Why? Just call him.
Okay, do I go north or south?
North! South!Okay, you know what?
I'm just going to the deadly "S."
I'm just gonna go straight to the deadly "S."
Oh, there he is.That's not Henry.
Do you think Henry's short?
Well, he doesn't strike me as tall,
but maybe it's his personality.
[ Sighs ]
Oh, there is that filthy liar.
[ Tires screech ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Groans ] Henry!
Henry![ Horn honking ]
Unbelievable.Get in the car, Henry!
[ Horn honks ]Come on!
Get in the car! No!
[ Horn honking ]Get in the car, Henry!
No!
Henry! [ Thud ]
[ Tires screech ] Oh.
Put it in park!Yep, yep, yep, yep. Oh.
[ Breathing heavily ]
God...
Amy, what the hell?!
Are you trying to kill me?! You just hit me with the car!
Oh, don't be so dramatic!
I tapped you. I barely tapped you.
Okay, it was the only way I could get your attention.
Do you know how dangerous this run is?
Yeah, I do. I just got hit by a car.
Oh, my God. You lied, Henry.
You weren't supposed to go on this run.
We had a deal.
I gave up the only thing that I love -- artificial sweeteners.
Okay, you're right. I am so sorry.
Can I get a sip of your coffee?No, no, no, no, no.
Give me the coffee.
Watch it.[ Grunts ]
Mm! Mm!
Enjoying that? A little hot?
[ Breathing heavily ]
I'm so sorry. There's -- There's none left.
Mm.
Yup. That's disgusting.
I was -- I was gonna --- I was gonna give it up tomorrow
so we weren't giving up things on the same day.
[ Chuckling ] God.
Okay, I've been drinking it forever, and I'm fine.
Yeah, well, I've been running forever,
and you're the only person that's ever hit me.
Oh, my God. You are never gonna let this go, are you?
My friend died, Henry, okay? She died.
And it came out of nowhere,
and she's -- she's just -- she's dead.
And it could happen to any of us.
It's gonna happen to all of us.
Come on, Amy. I know Col's death rattled you.
It rattled me, too.
And I'm really trying to let you go through
whatever it is you need to go through.
But come on. This constant fear's no way to live.
It's not how Col lived.
It's not how I want to live.
Ugh. She was -- She was so happy.
I mean, like, right up until the day she died, she was happy.
She had hope.
She was so naive. So...dumb.
You could try that.
I mean, I know how uncomfortable you are with hope.
But... [ Chuckles ]
Okay. Alright, alright.
I will try to enjoy my life.
I can't make any promises, though.
I just -- I really don't want you to go first, though.
Okay. Okay, yeah.
Maybe we can just die together. [ Chuckles ]
I'd kinda like to die alone, if that's okay.
[ Both chuckle ]
[ Horn honks ]Sarah: Guys!
Alright. Okay.
You have the keys, it's hot in here,
and Jodie stinks!
♪♪
Jodie. Hey.
Wow. You look amazing.
Oh, thanks.
I mean, thank you.
Hey, thank you for saving me, uh, yesterday.
Yeah, right, 'cause I'm such a mom.
You are. Yeah, I-I love how nurturing you are.
The way that you leapt into action when I got stung --
it was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.
I mean, besides my mom giving birth to me.
[ Both laugh ]
♪ I just can't live without you, girl ♪
♪ Can't live without your sweet love ♪
You're so great.
♪♪
[ Music stops ][ Clears throat ]
Um, hey, uh, I have some free time, if you, uh --
if you wanna get in a quickie?
You know, maybe do the treadmill.
You got some jeans and boots you can change into?
Ow. Oh, sorry.
Ow. Right on that...
Yeah. Right on it....really hard pec.
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Oh, wow.Yeah, I feel like you didn't break up with your trainer.
Signed up for five more sessions.
That's not what...
Jodie, I feel like you're having some kind of mental breakdown.
Seriously. Me?
You almost ran your husband over.
Twas a tap.
Alright, I gotta get to work. I'm gonna be late.
Don't be such an on-time dork.
I am Employee of the Month!
You're gonna be a sweaty Employee of the Month now.
You're gonna smell like corn chips.
Guys! [ Grunts ]