1 00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:05,222 Fellow telemarketers, our profits have been down. 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:10,053 But fear not, for I have a plan to suck money 3 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,012 from every customer we have -- 4 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:15,189 a plan so evil it will rip the souls 5 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:17,017 from even the strongest man. 6 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,322 You're not proposing... 7 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:22,718 That's right -- a subscription service. 8 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:26,113 [ Laughs maniacally ] 9 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,506 Man: ♪ Run around town 10 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:31,466 ♪ Stealin' and killin' is how I get down ♪Sheriff: What? 11 00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,642 ♪ Well, you better be aware of somethin' ♪ 12 00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:36,384 ♪ 'Cause Momma named me Sheriff ♪ 13 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:39,082 ♪ Momma ♪ Now you got it 14 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,650 ♪ Momma ♪ And don't forget it 15 00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,305 Oh, no. I'd better go. [ Laughs ] 16 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:47,047 ♪ M-O-M-M-A named me 17 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,265 ♪ Momma named me Sheriff 18 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:51,399 ♪ My momma named me Sheriff ♪ 19 00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,357 Good morning, everyo-- aah! 20 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,924 Damn, yo. Watch where you steppin'! 21 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,317 What is all this? 22 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,362 We signed up for a new subscription service. 23 00:00:58,406 --> 00:00:59,711 It's called "StuffClub." 24 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:02,714 It sends you all this really useful stuff. 25 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,194 Like coffee shorts... 26 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,935 Yo, and this tomato hammer. 27 00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:07,806 Did someone order a toaster watch? 28 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,634 -What? -Yeah-heah! 29 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:10,766 Tiny toast, yo! 30 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,507 Why would you ever need tiny toast? 31 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,552 To go with tiny brunch, yo! 32 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,032 Yeah-heah! 33 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,427 Yep, this platinum membership card is pretty sweet. 34 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,168 Why is my name on that card? 35 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,517 Am I paying for this? 36 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,215 Oh, no, it's got a seven-day free trial. 37 00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:27,565 Then, it's only $5.99 a month. 38 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,393 That's an absurd amount of money! 39 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,309 I'm gonna cancel this right away. 40 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:33,789 Man: StuffClub cancellation. 41 00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:36,226 Your wait time is four years. 42 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,445 Please hold. -Ugh! 43 00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,882 I'll just cancel in person. 44 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,536 He seemed pretty p'd-off. 45 00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:44,930 We should order as much stuff as we can before he cancels. 46 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,107 Both: Yeah-heah! 47 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,282 Hi, there, Dan. 48 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:50,022 Uh, I want to cancel my subscription 49 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,415 before the free trial ends 50 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:54,375 and I have to pay $5.99. 51 00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:57,682 N-n-n-n-no problem. 52 00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,207 W-w-we have a c-c- 53 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:05,603 cancellation p-p-plan t-t-t-that's 54 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:09,694 o-only $7.99. 55 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:12,175 What?! That's more than the subscription price! 56 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:19,443 O-o-or I-I-I can offer one o-o-o-ption 57 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,010 I'm sure you'll like. 58 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,491 Okay. What is it? 59 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,581 You just accept that you're screwed, and you g-g-go away. 60 00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:28,931 Stop making me jump through hoops! 61 00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:30,976 Just tell me how to cancel. 62 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,717 F-F-Fine. Rude. 63 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,328 Just go to the Cancellation Department. 64 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:35,807 It's on the first floor -- 65 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,244 in the Sahara Desert. 66 00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:40,638 The Sahara Desert?! 67 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:45,687 ♪♪ 68 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:52,302 Heeyyyy! Hurry. Come inside. 69 00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:54,043 Drink, my friend. 70 00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,305 Thank you! 71 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,959 What brings you to the Sea of Sand? 72 00:02:57,002 --> 00:03:00,310 I'm looking for a building to cancel a subscription service 73 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:01,964 that sends me stuff. 74 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:05,533 My friend, you will find nothing out here but death and despair. 75 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,317 Are you sure you wish to cancel? 76 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,624 $5.99 Sounds like a great deal to me. 77 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:13,280 I didn't tell you it was $5.99. 78 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:14,672 StuffClub? 79 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:15,891 You'll never cancel! 80 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,109 Hey! Wait! 81 00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,502 No one does! 82 00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:21,201 No! 83 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,725 Did someone order a blender hammock? 84 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:24,726 Aw, yeah! 85 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:26,293 Did someone order a bike stove? 86 00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:28,295 We don't really have much room left, Floyd. 87 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:30,122 Did someone order a-- Did someone order a-- 88 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:33,430 [ Indistinct talking ] 89 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,261 [ Laughs ] 90 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,523 We're buried, yo. 91 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:42,352 Oh, no. Dispatch, I got bad news. 92 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,224 What? You stuck, too? 93 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:47,096 No. I got the board game "Bad News." 94 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:48,706 [ Laughs ] -Aw! 95 00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,840 Computerized Voice: Your call is important to us. 96 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,756 Please hold for the next available representative. 97 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,628 [ Echoing ] 98 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:02,633 I can't go on. 99 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:05,767 Huh? 100 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,465 Water! 101 00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,466 Sir. 102 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,207 You can't drink that sand. 103 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,556 Sand?! 104 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,125 That sand is property of Telemarketer Corp. 105 00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:17,387 Telemarketer Corp? 106 00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:18,910 I'm looking for their cancellation department. 107 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:22,218 You mean that building over there? 108 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,567 Yes! 109 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,090 I can cancel here? 110 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,570 That's right, Mr. Goodman -- 111 00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:29,834 just as soon as you pay for all the sand you drank. 112 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,140 What? 113 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,620 Which comes out to... 114 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,586 ...$17 million. 115 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:43,848 That's ridiculous! 116 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,981 The sand clause is in the contract. 117 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:49,593 What? I can't pay that! 118 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:52,509 Bye-Bye! 119 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,773 You drank the sand, too, huh? 120 00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:58,428 Floyd, stop! We can barely breath! 121 00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,777 He can't hear us! 122 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,562 Alright. Let me try to figure something out. 123 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,172 I got it! I got it. 124 00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,478 -You do? -Yeah. 125 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:07,437 The game -- "I Got It." Yeah, I got it! 126 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,135 Oh, man. We gonna die in here together. 127 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,094 -Yeah. -You know what I'll miss the most? 128 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,661 What? You, Sheriff. 129 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:16,620 You've been my rock, my guiding light, the love of my -- 130 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,709 You know what I'll probably miss the most? 131 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,624 Those flare gun sunglasses. 132 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:23,975 I never had an emergency to wear/fire them. 133 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,282 This is that time, yo! 134 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,328 You're right! 135 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:29,677 I can't reach it. 136 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,679 I got you, baby. Here. Let me help. 137 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,378 I can almost reach it. 138 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,511 [ Both straining ] 139 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:41,950 I just wanted to cancel. 140 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:47,042 There, there. We all fall victim to a subscription service 141 00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:48,391 sooner or later. 142 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:52,177 [ Crowd chanting "Unsubscribe!" ] 143 00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,353 What's he doing? 144 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:56,965 The only way out is to climb. 145 00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:01,796 For up there is the real cancellation department. 146 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,494 If anybody can do it, it's Luther. 147 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:08,193 He has been training day and night for -- 148 00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:09,978 [ Luther yells ] 149 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:15,026 Well, he's in a better place, 150 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:20,205 for you can escape the subscription in death. 151 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:21,859 Hoops.What? 152 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,426 Look. 153 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,515 They don't want us to climb. 154 00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:28,083 They want us to jump through their hoops. 155 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,346 No. Don't kill yourself. 156 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,521 That's crazy. 157 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,349 The only thing that's crazy... 158 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:38,398 is paying $5.99. 159 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:46,014 [ Crowd cheering ] 160 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:52,150 He's almost got it. 161 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:53,717 [ Yells ] 162 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,371 Oh. 163 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,068 He's gone. 164 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,548 [ Crowd "aw"s ] 165 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,857 [ Crowd cheers ] 166 00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,036 Goodman: What's going on, here? 167 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,864 Hello, Goodman. 168 00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:10,995 Boss. 169 00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:12,475 If you want to cancel your membership, 170 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,564 you'll have to defeat my girlfriend, 171 00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:18,481 Sherry, before she cancels you. 172 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,961 [ Laughs ] 173 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,702 Time to die! 174 00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:25,357 [ Both straining ] 175 00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,881 -Got them. -Ha ha! Yeah! 176 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:30,493 Now, I can use these flare gun sunglasses to signal for help. 177 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:31,712 Yeah, Sheriff! 178 00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,453 You gonna save our lives, yo! 179 00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:36,107 Spow! 180 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,108 Woops. 181 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:40,024 Oh, no! We're gonna drown, yo! 182 00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:42,200 [ Sherry yells ] 183 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,811 No, no, no, no, no. Wait. 184 00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,686 Make a wish, Goodman! 185 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:52,776 Oh no, please, please. 186 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,691 Man: Cancellation department. 187 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,476 Huh? He got through. 188 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,390 Nobody's every gotten through. 189 00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,218 I-I'd like to cancel my subscription. 190 00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:01,959 No problem at all. 191 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,571 We'll just need the account number on your membership card. 192 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,660 Of course! I have it right... 193 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,578 I'm gonna cancel this right away. 194 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,580 ...on my desk... 195 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,407 in Old Town. 196 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,671 Can you hold? -Yeah. Sure. 197 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:24,460 Don't let him get that card! 198 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,331 My friend, good news. 199 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,856 You have qualified for a -- 200 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:32,381 Come on, come on, come on. 201 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,426 No one unsubscribes, Goodman! 202 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,906 Please, I beg you... 203 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,560 I-I've almost found that account number. 204 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,214 Please keep holding! 205 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:45,089 You'll never make it in time! 206 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,528 Sorry, I'm just looking through 207 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,877 my kitchen drawers right now, and -- 208 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,400 Oh, I think I found it... 209 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,750 Oh. No, no, that's just a really old library card. 210 00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,796 We're getting closer. 211 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,319 I promise, I'm almost there. 212 00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:59,147 Pilot: This is your captain speaking. 213 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,931 Forget landing, let's just hang up here 214 00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,672 a while, and enjoy the view. 215 00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:03,934 Hopefully, no one needs to be anywhere 216 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,371 in the next 8 minutes, or so. 217 00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:12,116 ♪♪ 218 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,336 [ Growls ] 219 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:16,381 [ Roars ] 220 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,687 We're gonna drown! 221 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,950 There is one thing we can do to survive, yo! 222 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:24,912 Yeah?We got to to share our air, yo. 223 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:29,960 ♪♪ 224 00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:36,837 [ Muffled ] Where's my membership card? 225 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,490 [ Muffled ] I don't know. 226 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,623 Hey, there it is. 227 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,974 ♪♪ 228 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:46,020 Huh? 229 00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:47,978 No! 230 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:54,637 ♪♪ 231 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:57,945 Time of death: 6:29. 232 00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:01,688 I never even got to make him tiny toast, yo. 233 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,606 Goodman! 234 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,433 I'm alive! Did I... 235 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,783 did I unsubscribe? 236 00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,959 You died before the deadline. 237 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,352 So, it's time to pay up, Goodman. 238 00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,180 [ Laughs ] 239 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:17,399 Wait. 240 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:20,576 You can escape the subscription in death. 241 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,926 I escaped the subscription in death! 242 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,188 -What? -He's right. 243 00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:26,669 The death clause says it right here. 244 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,584 Huh. That gives me an idea. 245 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:32,370 A subscription service that rips people off in the afterlife. 246 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:35,591 Come on, Sherry, we've got lots of work to do. 247 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,158 Okay! 248 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:40,465 Hey, Goodman, this might be a bad time to bring it up, 249 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:43,468 but, uh, in the 30 seconds we thought you were dead, 250 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,949 I kind of used your credit card to sign up for 251 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:48,865 another subscription called Junk'N'Stuff. 252 00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:51,389 But, I mean, I'm sure it's not that hard to cancel. 253 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:57,657 ♪♪ 254 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,486 Sheriff: ♪ M-O-M-M-A named me 255 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:02,662 ♪ Momma named me Sheriff 256 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,315 ♪ Momma named me Sheriff 257 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:06,317 ♪ My m-m-m-momma, momma, momma named m-me Sheriff ♪ 258 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,320 ♪ Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma named me Sheriff ♪ 259 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:10,713 ♪ Momma 260 00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,367 She named me Sheriff.