1
00:00:02,416 --> 00:00:06,040
Narrator: Welcome back
to "Ask an Astronaut with
Captain Stevens."

2
00:00:06,075 --> 00:00:07,179
-Yay!
-Yay!

3
00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:09,595
Hi.
Is Pluto not a planet,

4
00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:11,597
'cause it's just
a small rock?

5
00:00:11,632 --> 00:00:13,841
No,
it's a dwarf planet.

6
00:00:13,875 --> 00:00:15,222
Okay?
Okay.

7
00:00:15,256 --> 00:00:16,740
[ Groans ]
All right, last question.

8
00:00:16,775 --> 00:00:18,846
Hi.
I'm Tommy in Old Town.

9
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,091
And my question is,
you missed a belt loop.

10
00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:23,747
Come on, that's not
even a question!

11
00:00:23,782 --> 00:00:25,404
Ugh.
These kids are so stupid --

12
00:00:25,439 --> 00:00:29,201
Oh. Well, I guess
I did miss a belt loop.

13
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[ Laughs ] Oh, no!
Whoa!

14
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Aah! Aah! No!

15
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Wha--?

16
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♪ Ride around town

17
00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:41,213
♪ Stealin' and killin'
is how I get down ♪

18
00:00:41,248 --> 00:00:43,871
♪ What? Well, you better
be aware, son ♪

19
00:00:43,905 --> 00:00:46,736
♪ 'Cause Momma
named me Sheriff ♪

20
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♪ Momma

21
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♪ Now you got it

22
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♪ Momma

23
00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:52,190
♪ And don't forget it

24
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♪ Oh, no, I better go

25
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♪ M-O-M-M-A

26
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♪ Momma named me Sheriff,
Momma named me Sheriff ♪

27
00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:03,546
And we'll be right back
with more coverage of

28
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Captain Stevens:
Tragedy in Space.

29
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Ugh. Dying in space.
That sucks.

30
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Right, Carl?
Yep.

31
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See, that's why
you're so cool, Carl.

32
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You always know what's up.

33
00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:15,903
Well, I gotta head home.

34
00:01:15,937 --> 00:01:18,250
What? Why? Come on, man.
Let's chill.

35
00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:21,253
Pam wants me to come by
for an afternoon snack.

36
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Oh, yeah, I haven't even met
your new girlfriend yet.

37
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You think she might
be the one?

38
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Too early to tell.

39
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I like her a lot,

40
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but I'm not sure
how much she likes me yet.

41
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Did you tell her
how cool you are?
Uh...

42
00:01:32,782 --> 00:01:34,473
You told her how cool you are,
right, Carl?

43
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Uh...
You gotta tell her.
How's she gonna know?

44
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Okay, bye.

45
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[ Groans ]

46
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He's gonna mess it up.

47
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♪♪

48
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Knock-knock.
Oh!

49
00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:46,934
This sure looks like
the kind of place

50
00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:49,419
where somebody cool
would live.

51
00:01:49,454 --> 00:01:50,938
Hello, anybody cool here?

52
00:01:50,972 --> 00:01:52,284
-Hello?
-Oh.

53
00:01:52,319 --> 00:01:53,596
Hey.
You must be Pam.

54
00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:56,288
I just wanted you to know
that Carl's cool.

55
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Okay, bye-bye now.
Ha!

56
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Aah!
Freeze!

57
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,292
Who the hell are you?

58
00:02:00,327 --> 00:02:01,121
Carl.

59
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,226
[ Exhales sharply ]
My bad, Carl.

60
00:02:03,261 --> 00:02:04,779
I didn't recognize you
in that wig.

61
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[ Scoffs ]
You look funny, Carl.

62
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Wig?!Yeah, sorry, I...

63
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Uh-oh.
[ Vomits ]

64
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I thought you were cool!

65
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But you're bald!

66
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We are over!
Get out!

67
00:02:16,481 --> 00:02:19,242
Wow, she really kicked you
out of your own house?

68
00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:20,968
Yep.Goodman, back off.

69
00:02:21,002 --> 00:02:23,350
You'll get a new house
and a new girl.

70
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'Cause, you know,
Carl's really cool.

71
00:02:25,766 --> 00:02:27,457
I'm really not cool,
Sheriff.

72
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Well, when we were young,

73
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you were the coolest guy
in Old Town.

74
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It's true, I was.

75
00:02:31,392 --> 00:02:34,809
But that was before...
the incident.

76
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The incident?

77
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Goodman, seriously,
back off.

78
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Carl doesn't like talking about
the day he lost his hair.

79
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Oh, sorry.

80
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Life's been pretty downhill
since then.

81
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I tried the wig,
but that was a lie.

82
00:02:46,787 --> 00:02:49,307
Now I spend most of my time
just scrolling through

83
00:02:49,341 --> 00:02:52,310
the message boards
at BaldBoyzSadTown.bald

84
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:55,209
to see if anybody's
cured baldness yet.

85
00:02:55,244 --> 00:02:56,831
No, nothing yet.

86
00:02:56,866 --> 00:02:58,868
Hey! I know a guy
who's as smart

87
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as you used to be cool,
Carl!

88
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He could cure baldness.

89
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No problem.

90
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Hey, Blade?
Cure baldness.

91
00:03:05,530 --> 00:03:08,878
The message boards'll
be buzzing about this.

92
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Tommy, can you answer
some questions

93
00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:12,847
about the space tragedy?No! No! [ Grunts ]

94
00:03:12,882 --> 00:03:14,677
Hey, Tommy,
what's going on?

95
00:03:14,711 --> 00:03:16,023
I'm turning myself in!

96
00:03:16,057 --> 00:03:18,715
'Cause people say I murdered
the Asker-not!

97
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:20,027
But he's still alive.

98
00:03:20,061 --> 00:03:21,270
You're not a murderer.

99
00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:22,961
Well, I've just received word

100
00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:25,032
Captain Stevens
is running out of oxygen

101
00:03:25,066 --> 00:03:26,240
and will die...

102
00:03:26,275 --> 00:03:27,793
because of
this murderer.

103
00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,312
Ohh!

104
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:31,935
Sheriff: Hey, Blade.
How's the bald cure coming?

105
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:35,353
[ Computerized voice ]
I synthesized a potential
bald cure and tested it

106
00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:39,598
on spider scalps that I bought
on the World Wide Web.

107
00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:41,048
Haha, haha.

108
00:03:41,082 --> 00:03:45,259
But it still needs the right
ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-catalyst.

109
00:03:45,294 --> 00:03:48,952
I tried frog urine,
Egyptian mummy sweat,

110
00:03:48,987 --> 00:03:50,402
pretty much everything.

111
00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:51,369
But this
should do the trick.

112
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The juiced beard of
a trip hop bassist.

113
00:03:54,682 --> 00:03:55,959
Bald cure.

114
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You're the man, Blade.

115
00:03:57,409 --> 00:03:59,308
All right,
ready for some hair, Carl?

116
00:03:59,342 --> 00:04:02,380
Um, actually,
I wanna try it first.

117
00:04:02,414 --> 00:04:04,727
Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess
the car can go first.Huh?

118
00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:05,728
Here you go.

119
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[ Laughs ]

120
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Peace!

121
00:04:08,109 --> 00:04:09,939
Aw.Damn it, Sheriff.

122
00:04:09,973 --> 00:04:11,734
You are one
stupid mother

123
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fu-fu-fu-fu-fu...
fish.

124
00:04:15,358 --> 00:04:18,430
[ Cries ]Tommy, wherever
Captain Stevens is,

125
00:04:18,465 --> 00:04:19,983
I'm sure
he'd forgive you.

126
00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:21,433
He would?

127
00:04:21,468 --> 00:04:23,297
Well, we have him
live via satellite.

128
00:04:23,332 --> 00:04:24,333
Huh?

129
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:25,955
Captain Stevens,
can you tell us where you are?

130
00:04:25,989 --> 00:04:28,578
Uh, yes, I'm, uh,
heading towards Pluto,

131
00:04:28,613 --> 00:04:30,442
which you can see
over my shoulder.

132
00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:31,201
[ Grunts ]

133
00:04:31,236 --> 00:04:32,927
Huh.
I guess that kid was right.

134
00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:36,310
Pluto is just
a small rock.

135
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:39,796
Seems like Pluto is stuck
in some kind of wormhole.

136
00:04:39,831 --> 00:04:41,419
Uh, hi, Captain Stevens.

137
00:04:41,453 --> 00:04:44,111
Could you please tell my son
that this isn't his fault

138
00:04:44,145 --> 00:04:46,044
and that
you forgive him?

139
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,839
No.
No, I cannot.

140
00:04:47,873 --> 00:04:49,461
-Aw.
-You heard it here first.

141
00:04:49,496 --> 00:04:51,946
Pluto, just a small rock
stuck in a hole.

142
00:04:51,981 --> 00:04:54,708
And Tommy Goodman,
not forgiven.

143
00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:56,434
♪♪

144
00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:58,815
Remote-controlled car,
this is the Sheriff.

145
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:00,852
Stop or I will shoot.

146
00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:02,509
♪♪

147
00:05:02,543 --> 00:05:04,131
[ Laughs ]
You'll never catch me!

148
00:05:04,165 --> 00:05:05,063
Uh, Sheriff?

149
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:07,134
♪♪

150
00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:09,136
[ Both scream ]

151
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:10,655
[ Both grunt, groan ]

152
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,070
Sheriff: Huh?

153
00:05:13,899 --> 00:05:15,349
Stop right there, Car!

154
00:05:15,384 --> 00:05:17,869
That bald cure is for Carl,
not you!

155
00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:19,974
-Um, actually...
-Huh?

156
00:05:20,009 --> 00:05:21,528
...it's for me now.

157
00:05:21,562 --> 00:05:23,046
[ Laughs ]

158
00:05:23,081 --> 00:05:26,464
You're Dr. Um, Actually,
the rapper/producer.

159
00:05:26,498 --> 00:05:29,743
Um, actually, that's
formerrapper/producer

160
00:05:29,777 --> 00:05:30,985
or as you might know me,

161
00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:34,506
BaldBoyzSadTown user
DrUmActuallyRulez.

162
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:37,544
Oh, I thought he was just
a big fan.He was.

163
00:05:37,578 --> 00:05:39,994
He was also me.
Hmm.

164
00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:41,548
Once I started
losing my hair,

165
00:05:41,582 --> 00:05:43,998
I withdrew into my home
and never left.

166
00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:48,071
Now with this bald cure,
I can finally make my comeback.

167
00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:49,521
Not so fast! Uh!

168
00:05:49,556 --> 00:05:52,006
Hey, give that back!No! It's for Carl!

169
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:53,422
Carl, catch!

170
00:05:53,456 --> 00:05:55,182
Oh, no! Oh!
Ow.

171
00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:56,425
Oh, Carl.

172
00:05:56,459 --> 00:05:58,461
Uh,
something's happening.

173
00:05:58,496 --> 00:06:00,394
My scalp
is all weird and stuff.

174
00:06:00,429 --> 00:06:01,844
[ Gasps ] Huh?

175
00:06:01,878 --> 00:06:03,535
Uh...

176
00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:04,605
Ooh!

177
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:05,848
Did it work?

178
00:06:05,882 --> 00:06:07,539
No.
No.

179
00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:10,404
[ Voice breaking ] Now, I'll
never make music again.

180
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:13,407
Who would listen to it,
bald people?

181
00:06:13,442 --> 00:06:16,099
Sure.
Bald people need music, too.

182
00:06:16,134 --> 00:06:18,964
Music...
for bald people.Yeah.

183
00:06:18,999 --> 00:06:21,104
I'll be cool again.Yeah.

184
00:06:21,139 --> 00:06:23,486
This'll be
the best thing I've done

185
00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:26,040
since inventing
the tastiest beverage ever,

186
00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:27,835
mustard and milk.

187
00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:29,975
Ahh.

188
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,149
Ugh.
Ugh.

189
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,565
Now, let's make
bald rap history.

190
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,567
Dying Astronaut
Captain Stevens

191
00:06:35,602 --> 00:06:37,500
has just reached
into a wormhole.

192
00:06:37,535 --> 00:06:40,607
Captain, what exactly
is a worm hole?

193
00:06:40,641 --> 00:06:43,437
Nobody knows for sure,
but most scientists believe

194
00:06:43,472 --> 00:06:46,475
it's a portal through
time and space.

195
00:06:46,509 --> 00:06:48,062
Maybe you can
go back in time

196
00:06:48,097 --> 00:06:49,754
and not miss
your belt loop

197
00:06:49,788 --> 00:06:51,238
so I won't be a murderer.

198
00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:52,757
Even at this desperate time,

199
00:06:52,791 --> 00:06:55,863
Tommy The Murderer
taunts his victim.

200
00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:01,662
♪ Now, give me the mic,
I got somethin' to say ♪

201
00:07:01,697 --> 00:07:04,527
♪ We a couple Bald Boyz
and that's okay ♪

202
00:07:04,562 --> 00:07:06,633
♪ Being bald ain't great,
it could be worse ♪

203
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:09,498
♪ Cross the Bald Boyz and you'll
wind up in a hearse ♪

204
00:07:09,532 --> 00:07:11,603
♪ Being bald ain't bad,
but we are ♪

205
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:13,847
♪ Being bald ain't bad,
but we are ♪

206
00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:16,850
♪ Folic-ly, diabolically
cursed biologically ♪

207
00:07:16,884 --> 00:07:18,990
♪ Follow chronologically
and I lay it out ♪

208
00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:21,510
♪ Lost my hair, my mop,
too much off the top ♪

209
00:07:21,544 --> 00:07:23,926
♪ Only curls I'm sportin' now
is the ones in my jock ♪

210
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,688
♪ Do I care if you stare
at my absence of hair? ♪

211
00:07:27,723 --> 00:07:28,862
♪ Nope

212
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:31,554
♪ Being bald ain't bad,
but we are ♪

213
00:07:31,589 --> 00:07:33,763
♪ Being bald ain't bad,
but we are ♪

214
00:07:33,798 --> 00:07:36,145
♪ Now, listen up, y'all,
I got a story to share ♪

215
00:07:36,179 --> 00:07:38,699
♪ It's about some cool guys
who ain't got no hair ♪

216
00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:41,288
♪ There's Carl and Dr
Um, Actually ♪

217
00:07:41,322 --> 00:07:43,635
♪ And one more bald guy,
who's that? Me ♪

218
00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:45,982
♪ Being bald ain't bad,
now I are ♪

219
00:07:46,017 --> 00:07:49,054
♪ Being bald ain't bad
but we are ♪

220
00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:50,297
♪ Bald Boyz for life

221
00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:51,540
♪ Peace

222
00:07:51,574 --> 00:07:52,541
Yeah!

223
00:07:52,575 --> 00:07:54,646
All right, it's finished
uploading and boom!

224
00:07:54,681 --> 00:07:55,785
Okay, we're live, guys.

225
00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:58,063
Hey, Carl?
You ready to be cool again?

226
00:07:58,098 --> 00:07:59,789
Oh! Look! Some comments!

227
00:07:59,824 --> 00:08:04,518
"Bald losers, you suck.
Kill yourself."

228
00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,658
Who wrote that? Carl!

229
00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:08,315
Sorry.
Just wasn't for me.

230
00:08:08,349 --> 00:08:09,627
Damn it, Sheriff!

231
00:08:09,661 --> 00:08:12,146
You talked me into
this embarrassment!

232
00:08:12,181 --> 00:08:13,700
Now, you gots to die.

233
00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:14,908
[ Stammering ]

234
00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:16,806
Any last requests?

235
00:08:16,841 --> 00:08:17,980
Um, um...

236
00:08:18,014 --> 00:08:21,811
Actually, yeah, can I try
some of that mustard milk?

237
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:22,985
Of course.

238
00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:25,988
Ugh, it's nasty!

239
00:08:26,022 --> 00:08:27,196
Hey, you take that back!

240
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:29,681
Uh, something's happening
to my head.

241
00:08:29,716 --> 00:08:30,682
Ah!
Ah!

242
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:31,994
The mustard and milk.

243
00:08:32,028 --> 00:08:34,859
Maybe it was the catalyst
the bald cure needed.

244
00:08:34,893 --> 00:08:37,620
[ Stammering ]

245
00:08:37,655 --> 00:08:39,346
[ All groan ]

246
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:40,830
Aah! Ohh!

247
00:08:40,865 --> 00:08:43,350
All: Ohh!

248
00:08:43,384 --> 00:08:45,594
I'm running out of oxygen.

249
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:49,252
Wait, there's something in here.

250
00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:52,014
"Hair Dragon"?

251
00:08:52,048 --> 00:08:54,603
Guitar-shaped pizza?

252
00:08:54,637 --> 00:08:56,743
Pink underwear.

253
00:08:56,777 --> 00:08:57,882
[ Gasps ]

254
00:08:57,916 --> 00:08:59,021
And there you have it,

255
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:01,264
some underpants
and a dead astronaut.

256
00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:03,059
Wait a second.
I'm getting something.

257
00:09:03,094 --> 00:09:04,613
Something's coming his way.

258
00:09:04,647 --> 00:09:06,787
It's a...hair?

259
00:09:06,822 --> 00:09:13,587
♪♪

260
00:09:13,622 --> 00:09:14,761
He's headed back to Earth...

261
00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:16,038
on a hair.

262
00:09:16,072 --> 00:09:18,040
The question is, where?

263
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:24,771
♪♪

264
00:09:24,805 --> 00:09:28,257
[ Groans ]
Guess I'm bald again.

265
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,638
Where am I?

266
00:09:29,672 --> 00:09:31,225
Goodman: Sheriff?
What's going on here?

267
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:32,710
Not much.
What's going on with you?

268
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:34,608
We got a report that
there was some loud,

269
00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:36,230
kind of crappy music
playing.

270
00:09:36,265 --> 00:09:37,715
Sorry.
Again, just not for me.

271
00:09:37,749 --> 00:09:39,717
Look!
Captain Stevens isn't dead!

272
00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:43,065
Yay!
I'm not a murderer!

273
00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:44,756
Captain Stevens,
are you okay?

274
00:09:44,791 --> 00:09:46,827
I am now.
Who saved my life?

275
00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:49,312
It was a hair
from that bald man.

276
00:09:49,347 --> 00:09:50,831
Hi.

277
00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:52,177
Oh. Cool.

278
00:09:52,212 --> 00:09:54,663
Carl!
You're cool again!

279
00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:56,009
I am?

280
00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:57,424
Yeah!

281
00:09:57,458 --> 00:10:00,427
♪ Being bald ain't bad,
but we are ♪

282
00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:01,842
♪ Being bald ain't bad,
but we are ♪

283
00:10:01,877 --> 00:10:03,672
We are!

284
00:10:03,706 --> 00:10:05,259
Hey, you Carl's
new girlfriends?

285
00:10:05,294 --> 00:10:07,676
Did you tell them
how cool we are?

286
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:08,918
Hey, we're pretty cool.

287
00:10:08,953 --> 00:10:10,333
Yes, we certainly are.

288
00:10:10,368 --> 00:10:11,611
And as for Carl's hair,

289
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:15,856
nobody knows just where that
wormhole might have taken it.

290
00:10:18,307 --> 00:10:19,791
Uhh.
Oh, I love this song.

291
00:10:19,826 --> 00:10:21,724
Uhh. Uhh.[ Clangs, record needle
scratches ]

292
00:10:21,759 --> 00:10:23,450
Hey, what'd you do that
for, Carl?

293
00:10:23,484 --> 00:10:25,279
Rap's cool,
but it's just a fad.

294
00:10:25,314 --> 00:10:26,660
Glam rock's here to stay.

295
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:28,282
Oh, that's cool.
Don't worry, you're cool.

296
00:10:28,317 --> 00:10:30,353
Hey, Sheriff?
Wanna check out my new band?

297
00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:31,803
The record's right over here.

298
00:10:31,838 --> 00:10:32,701
Hey, where'd it go?

299
00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:35,151
Carl, I saved you
a slice of pizza.

300
00:10:35,186 --> 00:10:36,325
Pizza's cool.

301
00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:37,671
Huh? That's not cool.

302
00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:39,224
Whoa.
My pink underwear.

303
00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:41,054
Carl?
Gosh friggit!

304
00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:42,469
This is very stressful.

305
00:10:42,503 --> 00:10:43,884
Don't stress, Carl.

306
00:10:43,919 --> 00:10:45,472
It'll make
your hair fall out.

307
00:10:45,506 --> 00:10:47,405
Okay, Theresa.
Aw.

308
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,304
You're the coolest girlfriend
in the universe.

309
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:53,135
Oh, no.

310
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:54,688
Uhh.

311
00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:57,173
Aah! No.

312
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,968
I'm bald.

313
00:10:59,003 --> 00:11:01,005
♪ M-O-A-M-M-A

314
00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:03,766
♪ Momma named me Sheriff,
Momma named me Sheriff ♪

315
00:11:03,801 --> 00:11:06,148
♪ M-Momma, Momma,
Momma named me Sheriff ♪

316
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:09,254
♪ M-Momma, Momma, Momma,
Momma named me Sheriff ♪

317
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:12,430
♪ Momma, she named me Sheriff