1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:14,791 ‪片名:认贼作爸妈 4 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:19,833 ‪新娘到来 5 00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,750 ‪一身... 6 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:22,833 {\an8}‪小心楼梯 7 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,416 {\an8}‪...雪白 8 00:01:24,416 --> 00:01:28,500 ‪跟着我的声音来 这边 停下 9 00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,833 ‪好了 睁开眼睛 10 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,500 {\an8}‪三维座位图 当然是按比例制作 11 00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:41,500 ‪每一个可动人偶 ‪都与我们客人的个性及或样貌对应 12 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,916 ‪-宝贝 太厉害了 ‪-你喜欢吗? 13 00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:45,791 {\an8}‪喜欢啊 特别喜欢! 14 00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:51,250 ‪谁是希曼? 15 00:01:52,166 --> 00:01:53,750 {\an8}‪这还不明显吗? 16 00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,583 ‪看看他的屁股 再看看我的屁股 17 00:01:57,583 --> 00:02:00,375 ‪-难道不是一个模子刻里出来的? ‪-嗯 现在看明白了 18 00:02:00,375 --> 00:02:03,166 ‪好的 怎么样? ‪最终决定权在新娘手里 19 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,083 ‪-这两位是你父母 对吧? ‪-嗯 20 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,166 ‪你觉得这桌上能不能加两个人? 21 00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:10,500 {\an8}‪我父母刚给我发电子邮件说会来 22 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,791 {\an8}‪-真的吗?他们要来? ‪-嗯 23 00:02:13,791 --> 00:02:16,750 {\an8}‪天呐!帕克尔 24 00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:19,500 {\an8}‪太好了!我终于能见到你父母了! 25 00:02:22,416 --> 00:02:23,291 ‪好吧 26 00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:25,708 ‪我要嫁给这人 27 00:02:25,708 --> 00:02:28,875 {\an8}‪天呐!你一定很激动 28 00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:32,500 ‪你激动吗?你不激动 完全不激动? 29 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,333 ‪-有什么情况吗? ‪-嗯 不是 我... 30 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,083 ‪非常好 我... 31 00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:41,416 {\an8}‪我跟你说过的 他们有时候很难对付 32 00:02:41,416 --> 00:02:43,500 ‪好吧 你见过我父母吗? 33 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:46,000 ‪我选了骷髅王和美杜莎代表他们 34 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,000 ‪只不过是因为没有 ‪斯大林和丽兹·波顿的人偶 35 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,833 ‪嗯 如果我父母不来 36 00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:54,375 ‪我大概会感到遗憾 37 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,791 ‪没错 我们会挺过去的 38 00:02:57,791 --> 00:03:02,083 {\an8}‪希曼和粉红恐龙战士联手天下无敌 39 00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:04,250 ‪就怕霍达克在婚礼上出现 40 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:07,666 ‪是《希曼》里的深度情节吗? 41 00:03:07,666 --> 00:03:08,583 ‪没错 42 00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:11,666 ‪我爱你 43 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:13,875 ‪我也爱你 44 00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:25,500 ‪你琳达阿姨对镍过敏 45 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,166 ‪银餐具里含镍吗? 46 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,416 ‪我不知道 妈 47 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,708 ‪便宜的银餐具是镀镍的 48 00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:32,500 ‪你要在餐具上省钱吗? 49 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,333 ‪我一定安排使用高品质无镍银餐具 50 00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:36,250 ‪-好吗? ‪-那就好 51 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,500 ‪不过我打来不是为了这个 ‪我有好消息 52 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,041 ‪帕克尔的父母能来参加婚礼 53 00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:49,750 ‪喂?哎 我知道你们在听 ‪我能听到爸的鼻哨声 54 00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:52,625 ‪不好意思 ‪什么样的父母会不去自己女儿婚礼? 55 00:03:52,625 --> 00:03:54,833 ‪他们没有不去!不是说了要来吗? 56 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,000 ‪省省吧 57 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,750 ‪他们之前在亚马逊丛林 ‪和亚诺马米部落一起生活 58 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,458 ‪要过来可不方便 59 00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:02,500 ‪难怪帕克尔当了脱衣舞女 60 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,208 ‪她不是脱衣舞女 ‪我跟你说了无数遍! 61 00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:08,041 ‪她开的是瑜伽工作室 而且生意很好 62 00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:09,416 ‪这我倒不知道嘛 63 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,541 ‪你知道!我之前邀请你去上课 64 00:04:11,541 --> 00:04:13,500 ‪你要你妈去爬钢管? 65 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:16,041 ‪没有钢管!怎么会有钢管呢? ‪是瑜伽工作室 66 00:04:16,041 --> 00:04:19,333 ‪-生意肯定蒸蒸日上 ‪-没错 不过不是你想的那种 67 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:21,000 ‪-我就是这么一说 ‪-拜托 68 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,000 ‪能不能别这么奇怪?就这一次 69 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,083 ‪-奇怪? ‪-奇怪?我们不奇怪 你才奇怪 70 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,708 ‪我和你爸最近在聊这个问题 71 00:04:29,708 --> 00:04:31,833 ‪你现在变得很奇怪 欧文 72 00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:32,791 ‪没错! 73 00:04:32,791 --> 00:04:36,416 ‪在遇见这个脱衣舞女之前 ‪你从来不这样! 74 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,333 ‪(阳山联合银行) 75 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,500 ‪(预留车位 ‪欧文·布朗宁 银行经理) 76 00:04:45,541 --> 00:04:47,333 ‪(欧文·布朗宁 银行经理) 77 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,166 {\an8}‪(欧文·布朗宁 银行经理) 78 00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:54,083 {\an8}‪啵 79 00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,000 {\an8}‪我再问一下 80 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,833 ‪你还没见过她父母? 81 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,125 ‪没有 也不是太奇怪嘛 82 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,666 ‪我们在一起期间 他们一直不在 83 00:05:02,666 --> 00:05:04,708 ‪太他妈奇怪了 兄弟 84 00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:06,416 ‪欧文 你别感到受伤啊 85 00:05:06,416 --> 00:05:09,666 ‪不过当你跟我们说帕克尔的时候 ‪我们还以为你瞎编的 86 00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:11,000 ‪我很受伤 87 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,458 ‪不过你不应该感到受伤 ‪因为我从来没见过你和谁在一起 88 00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:18,625 ‪我当时想:“不可能是真人 ‪可能是人体模型或者性爱玩偶” 89 00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:20,208 ‪不过你猜怎么着?她是真人 90 00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:22,291 ‪看见她时 ‪我心想:“你是大活人啊!” 91 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,958 ‪这王八蛋把童话变成了现实 92 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,958 ‪我一开始根本不相信你说的 93 00:05:26,958 --> 00:05:28,875 ‪受伤到极点 94 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:30,125 ‪我们的意思是 95 00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:35,416 ‪不管你给她灌了什么迷魂汤 ‪让她喜欢上了你 96 00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:36,833 ‪对她父母肯定没用 97 00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:39,125 ‪你担心我搞不定她父母? 98 00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:43,166 ‪长辈特别喜欢我 ‪爷爷奶奶们更是如此 99 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:46,833 ‪晚餐时把我安排在老奶奶旁边 ‪我能让她笑出花来 100 00:05:47,958 --> 00:05:50,875 ‪噢 这是尿不湿 她又这样 哎! 101 00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:56,083 ‪我干嘛做这个? ‪这不是我的工作 这是盖瑞的工作 102 00:05:58,083 --> 00:05:59,083 ‪哎 盖瑞去哪儿了? 103 00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:02,875 ‪好吧 ‪不准再“不小心”把盖瑞锁在金库里 104 00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:03,791 ‪我说真的 105 00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:05,833 ‪是因为你设计的新保安系统 106 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:06,875 ‪这东西特别复杂 107 00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:09,041 ‪应该复杂 这是金库 108 00:06:09,708 --> 00:06:12,916 ‪这是最先进的 谁都进不去 109 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,375 ‪这和菲比·金的一样吗? 110 00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,791 ‪-大致相同 ‪-菲比·金是谁? 111 00:06:18,791 --> 00:06:20,833 ‪菲比·金是阿特拉斯储备银行的经理 112 00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:22,250 ‪那可是全州最好的银行 113 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:26,041 ‪不是最好的银行 并没有正式排名 114 00:06:26,041 --> 00:06:29,333 ‪肯定是 有一整篇文章介绍 ‪就是全州最好的银行 115 00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:31,625 ‪确实是好银行 很干净 116 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:35,000 ‪上一次大会 菲比·金对欧文叫嚣 117 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,250 ‪说一只烤熟的火鸡 ‪也能闯进我们的金库 118 00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,250 ‪我倒不记得了嘛 119 00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:43,750 ‪她还说你是没鸡鸡的喷子 妈的! 120 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:47,333 ‪我当时想忍住不笑 但是没办法 ‪因为实在太好笑了 121 00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,041 ‪想象一下没有鸡鸡的你 122 00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:52,583 ‪平平的 什么都没有 没有生殖器 123 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:53,666 ‪没鸡鸡的喷子 124 00:06:53,666 --> 00:06:55,083 ‪这样说话太不专业了 125 00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,291 ‪太他妈好笑了 126 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:59,791 ‪我倒想看看烤熟的火鸡闯进去 127 00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:04,458 ‪她在楼梯旁留了玫瑰给我 128 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,833 ‪你好 盖瑞 129 00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:13,041 ‪算你走运 我口袋里有薄荷糖 130 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,458 ‪要不可能饿死在这里面 131 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:16,291 ‪这大概是第50次了 132 00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:19,083 ‪门里有紧急逃生开关 133 00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:20,125 ‪每个金库都有 134 00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,916 ‪我跟你说过很多次了 135 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,500 ‪我找不到! 136 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,083 ‪真是的 盖瑞 137 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,750 ‪对了 帕克尔 138 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:35,125 ‪听说你父母终于想通了 139 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:37,083 ‪会来参加你们的婚礼 140 00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:38,125 ‪真是太好了 141 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,041 ‪-对 谢谢妈妈 ‪-太好了 142 00:07:41,041 --> 00:07:43,791 ‪她很久没和父母见面了 143 00:07:43,791 --> 00:07:44,708 ‪我知道 144 00:07:44,708 --> 00:07:48,250 ‪-为什么见不着他们? ‪-他们住在丛林的洞穴里 145 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,416 ‪-本·拉登那样? ‪-对 像本·拉登那样生活 146 00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:53,208 ‪-呃 不是这样的 ‪-没事 147 00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,166 ‪-我明白 ‪-我能再看一下你的纹身吗? 148 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:58,416 ‪现在不看了吧 你玛吉阿姨不太喜欢 149 00:07:58,416 --> 00:08:00,708 ‪她说你脱衣服的时候会拿到更多小费 150 00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:05,125 ‪-再说一次 我不是脱衣舞女 ‪-我男朋友要纹纹身 151 00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:08,125 ‪-是嘛?纹什么? ‪-在他腰上纹我的名字 152 00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:09,500 ‪赞 153 00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:11,750 ‪-哎 老表! ‪-吓死我了!你好 兄弟 154 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:13,041 ‪别这样 155 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,333 ‪怎么没邀请我参加你的单身派对? 156 00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:19,333 ‪-你也知道我现在当急救员了 对吧? ‪-嗯 我知道 157 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,000 ‪我可以带你坐救护车 158 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,041 ‪-打开警报器 到处横冲直撞 ‪-很有意思啊 159 00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:28,250 ‪也可以让你躺在后面 ‪体验一下上西天的感觉 160 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:31,000 ‪去问一下西摩外公 ‪这样死的时候是什么感觉 161 00:08:32,791 --> 00:08:35,125 ‪-好吧 你干嘛这样? ‪-停吧 好了 162 00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:37,500 ‪-他干嘛这样? ‪-这是传言 停吧 163 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,291 ‪被她撞个正着 ‪看见他的时候 她非常难过 164 00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:42,375 ‪他真是传奇人物 打飞机打死 165 00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:46,458 ‪有人打电话给我 我太幸运了 ‪都不是我有意安排的 166 00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:47,583 ‪刚好碰巧 167 00:08:49,208 --> 00:08:50,375 ‪仓库租赁! 168 00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:52,208 ‪谢谢给我回电话 169 00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:55,083 ‪-又是我 欧文·布朗宁 ‪-你他妈有什么事? 170 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,625 ‪我一周后结婚 171 00:08:57,625 --> 00:09:01,083 ‪所以要合成点照片 172 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:05,458 ‪不过有一个问题 ‪我没有我未婚妻家人的照片 173 00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:09,208 ‪据说他们在你的仓库有一个储物柜 174 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,291 ‪用的名字应该是麦克德莫特 175 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:14,458 ‪有吗? 176 00:09:14,458 --> 00:09:16,666 ‪-天呐! ‪-我着火了! 177 00:09:16,666 --> 00:09:17,916 ‪急救员! 178 00:09:17,916 --> 00:09:18,875 ‪哎呀! 179 00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,000 ‪-灭火!不要! ‪-酱油! 180 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,291 ‪妈!那不是水! 181 00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:31,000 ‪你之前说 182 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,208 ‪有人问麦克德莫特租的储物柜 ‪就给你打电话 183 00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:34,875 ‪麦克德莫特的储物柜? 184 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:38,041 ‪对 谁在问? 185 00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:39,541 ‪欧文·布朗宁 186 00:09:47,541 --> 00:09:49,000 ‪这些钻石是垃圾 187 00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:04,708 ‪怎么了? 188 00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:07,833 ‪我胡思乱想 还以为这按钮是机关 189 00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:10,583 ‪会打开鲨鱼池的暗门什么的 190 00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:13,625 ‪暗门?不是 191 00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:16,000 ‪我只是要人来收拾一下这烂摊子 192 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,916 ‪-什么烂摊子? ‪-你 193 00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:23,416 ‪鲨鱼池 194 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,125 ‪给水族馆打电话! 195 00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:31,250 ‪你爸总在汽车后备箱备一件衬衫? 196 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:35,541 ‪这不是他头一次在餐厅着火 197 00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:37,291 ‪你外甥女还问我 198 00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:40,333 ‪我骑自行车的时候 ‪脖子会不会在风中摇曳 199 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:42,375 ‪谢谢你不生气 200 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,375 ‪他们真的心理不正常 201 00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:47,500 ‪神啊!现在轮到你见我的家人了 202 00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:52,416 ‪-你担心他们不喜欢我? ‪-没有 一点都不担心 你担心? 203 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:54,166 ‪不担心 204 00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:57,208 ‪不喜欢你就好像不喜欢罗杰斯先生 205 00:10:57,208 --> 00:11:01,375 ‪罗杰斯先生也不是人人喜欢啊 206 00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:05,291 ‪-他们什么时候来? ‪-婚礼前一天夜里才来 207 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,041 ‪这样我刚好够时间 208 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,750 ‪是嘛?要干什么? 209 00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:15,666 ‪-我有特别安排 ‪-是嘛? 210 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,333 ‪我喜欢 211 00:11:21,291 --> 00:11:23,291 ‪噢 被你吓到了 212 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:26,083 ‪好吧 好 按你喜欢的来 213 00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:27,291 ‪-是嘛? ‪-嗯 214 00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:37,958 ‪(自己动手) 215 00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,041 ‪哇!在手工艺品超市买了不少东西嘛 216 00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:43,458 ‪给帕克尔的父母做点礼物 217 00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:45,958 ‪这能算礼物吗? 218 00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:49,083 ‪承认吧 兄弟 你喜欢做手工 ‪你就是手工艺人 219 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,791 ‪我觉得男人对一件事有热情特别性感 220 00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:53,250 ‪谢谢 玛丽索尔 221 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,708 ‪但不喜欢这娘娘腔玩意儿 222 00:11:56,625 --> 00:11:59,125 ‪哎 你他妈闭嘴 盖瑞 真是的! 223 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,166 ‪谢谢你去商店 我有点恐惧 224 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:05,208 ‪没问题 225 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:07,833 ‪哎 我买了你喜欢吃的豆腐 226 00:12:07,833 --> 00:12:10,041 ‪我知道你喜欢老豆腐 227 00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:12,958 ‪嗯 我像喜欢我男人一样喜欢豆腐 228 00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:14,333 ‪老的才硬嘛 229 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:15,625 ‪噢 好的 230 00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:20,583 ‪你说得我都兴奋了 ‪要不今晚大战吧? 231 00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:21,500 ‪好啊 232 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,375 ‪我要把你整散架 233 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:25,500 ‪榨干你 234 00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:30,500 ‪好啊 什么动作我都愿意尝试 235 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,833 ‪我现在就开始伸展热身 236 00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,666 ‪好的 宝贝 爱你噢! 237 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:35,333 ‪我也爱你! 238 00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:37,416 ‪赞! 239 00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:44,083 ‪亲爱的帕克尔 240 00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:46,875 ‪良辰已至 241 00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:51,875 ‪我们大战到天明 242 00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:57,250 ‪我真的在乎你 243 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:59,416 ‪酸黄瓜味薯片 244 00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:03,291 ‪乐之饼干 245 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,750 ‪因为今晚我们要大战... 246 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:09,708 ‪你好 欧文 247 00:13:09,708 --> 00:13:11,250 ‪不要! 248 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,916 ‪-哇!厉害 ‪-哎呀! 249 00:13:13,916 --> 00:13:16,750 ‪-真对不起 亲爱的 ‪-你没事吧 欧文? 250 00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:20,000 ‪她上过自卫课程 看来这钱花得值 251 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,125 ‪请不要杀我 252 00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:24,291 ‪-我们把这小子拉起来 ‪-嗯 把他拉起来 来吧 253 00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:28,250 ‪起来 我们不会杀你 ‪我们是帕克尔的爸妈 254 00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:32,041 ‪-噢!好吧 ‪-嗯 255 00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:33,583 ‪好吧 好啊! 256 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:37,125 ‪麦克德莫特先生和太太 很荣幸... 257 00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:39,666 ‪不用这套!来吧! 258 00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:46,958 ‪别客套 好吗? ‪别叫我“麦克德莫特先生” 259 00:13:46,958 --> 00:13:47,875 ‪叫我比利 260 00:13:49,291 --> 00:13:50,375 ‪好的 比利 261 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:56,708 ‪你肯定是帕克尔的爸爸 ‪因为你们俩亲起来一模一样 262 00:13:58,166 --> 00:13:59,541 ‪-我是莉利 ‪-你好 莉利 263 00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:01,208 ‪嗯 谢谢 这样就行 264 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,333 ‪-好的 ‪-妈? 265 00:14:02,916 --> 00:14:04,416 ‪-看看谁来了! ‪-宝贝! 266 00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:06,208 ‪-爸?啊? ‪-太好了! 267 00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:09,083 ‪你们来了!怎么这就来了? 268 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,625 ‪嗯 航班提前了 269 00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:12,958 ‪对了 你刚才在唱小曲儿 270 00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:15,833 ‪说要和我们女儿大战 271 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,375 ‪-真的? ‪-真的 272 00:14:17,375 --> 00:14:20,500 ‪就是我私下会唱的小曲儿 273 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:23,625 ‪没想到会当着我未来岳父母的面唱 274 00:14:23,625 --> 00:14:26,500 ‪-你们怎么进来的? ‪-门没锁 275 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,333 ‪好奇怪 我从来不会忘记锁前门 276 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,208 ‪你的意思是我妻子说谎? 277 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:35,958 ‪你说我妻子说谎?是吗? 278 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,166 ‪我刚进来 你就要说她坏话? 279 00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:41,041 ‪要我给你脸上来一拳吗? 280 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,583 ‪你在开玩笑! 281 00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:51,125 ‪是开玩笑 好吧! 282 00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:55,000 ‪对了 给你们的礼物喜欢吗? 283 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,875 ‪我现在不是戴着吗? 284 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,833 ‪要不要把我们的故事跟他们说? 285 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,458 ‪我们相遇特别浪漫 286 00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:04,041 ‪你们一定会喜欢 287 00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,666 ‪关于我 有一件事你们得知道 288 00:15:05,666 --> 00:15:08,333 ‪我们家有髋关节毛病 289 00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:11,583 ‪所以当然就想提前想办法 ‪于是去看医生 290 00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,208 ‪医生说:“你尝试过瑜伽吗?” 291 00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:16,750 ‪于是拿了一张优惠券 ‪去上了我的第一堂瑜伽课 292 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,166 ‪是我的课 上课的是我! 293 00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:22,416 ‪-多巧啊?对吧? ‪-很夸张 294 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:24,958 ‪真不错 295 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:29,041 ‪然后我注意到 ‪课上到一半 欧文呈婴孩式姿势 296 00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:30,833 ‪对 精彩的来了 297 00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:32,791 ‪我呈婴孩式姿势 298 00:15:32,791 --> 00:15:36,250 ‪在这个姿势下 我昏了过去 ‪但是没人发现 299 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:40,500 ‪看 就是这样 ‪如果我昏过去 别人根本看不出 300 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:41,750 ‪-对吧? ‪-对 301 00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:45,000 ‪然后下课大家都走了 302 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,291 ‪我发现欧文还是呈婴孩式姿势 303 00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:48,541 ‪我心想 304 00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:52,083 ‪“妈的 这人死了 没气了” 305 00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:54,541 ‪-但我没死 ‪-对 306 00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:57,333 ‪然后帕克尔把我拉直 我醒了过来 307 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,541 ‪我看着她灿烂而美丽的笑容 308 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:04,416 ‪我心想:“我一辈子都要和她在一起” 309 00:16:04,416 --> 00:16:05,625 ‪你如愿了 310 00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:06,583 ‪没错 311 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,875 ‪-然后你约她出去 ‪-其实不是 312 00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:14,250 ‪我上她的课一年半之后 ‪她终于约我出去 313 00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:23,833 ‪蜜露 314 00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:28,458 ‪找不到人给我代课 我只能取消了 315 00:16:29,041 --> 00:16:30,500 ‪得把我爸妈安排好才行 316 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,166 ‪我可不能让你在工作上有麻烦 317 00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:36,208 ‪我攒了178天病假 已经请假了 318 00:16:36,791 --> 00:16:37,833 ‪不是这个问题... 319 00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:40,375 ‪-不要 宝贝... ‪-交给我吧 别担心 320 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,708 ‪别担心 包在我身上 321 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:47,666 ‪-早上好 ‪-你好 早上好 322 00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:49,666 ‪我今天得上班 323 00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:52,708 ‪但是欧文请了假 ‪这是他进银行工作之后第一次请假 324 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:53,958 ‪他会带你们到处逛逛 325 00:16:54,625 --> 00:16:56,000 ‪-对吧 宝贝? ‪-很激动... 326 00:16:59,458 --> 00:17:02,375 ‪我不喜欢别人碰我屁股 327 00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:04,791 ‪不过她觉得这样很好玩 328 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,958 ‪-是的 ‪-吓死我了 我对这个很敏感 329 00:17:07,958 --> 00:17:10,583 ‪-嗯 晚上见 ‪-好的 再见 330 00:17:10,583 --> 00:17:12,875 ‪你们俩乖点 好吗?要乖乖的 331 00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,750 ‪-回头见 亲爱的 ‪-他很爱我 332 00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,541 ‪-乖点 ‪-爱你噢 我们会乖乖的 333 00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:18,000 ‪-回头见 爱你噢! ‪-回头见 334 00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:23,583 ‪-好的 要喝橙汁?好的 ‪-很好喝 335 00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:25,541 ‪你们饿了吧? 336 00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:26,791 ‪我做了... 337 00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:32,250 ‪佛罗伦萨烤鸡蛋 还有烤... 338 00:17:33,833 --> 00:17:34,708 ‪戳得很深啊 339 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,125 ‪好的 早餐聊够了 340 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,916 ‪精彩的还在后面 341 00:17:40,916 --> 00:17:46,375 ‪我给你们准备了南美陶艺展的门票 342 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:48,666 ‪为什么? 343 00:17:49,666 --> 00:17:53,708 ‪因为你们之前在亚马逊丛里 ‪和亚诺马米部落一起生活 344 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:54,666 ‪噢 对 345 00:17:54,666 --> 00:17:57,333 ‪他们的精美的陶艺作品非常出名 346 00:17:57,333 --> 00:18:01,250 ‪我们和部落一起生活了那么多年 ‪都看烦了 347 00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:05,333 ‪好的 那我们进入下一个精彩环节 348 00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,791 ‪大屠杀博物馆! 349 00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:10,208 ‪说实话 我去过 350 00:18:10,208 --> 00:18:12,875 ‪那里的美食区很棒 351 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:20,000 ‪好吧 ‪对陶艺和纪念大屠杀都不感兴趣 352 00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,916 ‪没事 353 00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:23,000 ‪你们想玩什么? 354 00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:29,708 ‪打开降落伞! 355 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:34,125 ‪你得先说服我 ‪为什么要把女儿嫁给你! 356 00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:38,708 ‪神啊!她是我最好的朋友 ‪而且我爱她! 357 00:18:38,708 --> 00:18:40,583 ‪神啊! 358 00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:43,833 ‪-我会照顾狗!我小费给20%! ‪-还不够! 359 00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,208 ‪我以后再也不和她上床了 360 00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:48,375 ‪继续说! 361 00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:49,833 ‪我这就拉绳子! 362 00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:52,333 ‪这是我的鸡鸡 笨蛋! 363 00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:07,791 ‪我考虑选怪物史莱克 ‪因为这是我最喜欢的角色 364 00:19:07,791 --> 00:19:10,666 ‪但是这月亮也很吸引人啊 对吧? 365 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:13,125 ‪好的 好漂亮... 366 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:16,333 ‪怎么... 367 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:30,541 ‪来吧!哎! 368 00:19:30,541 --> 00:19:33,166 ‪我居然纹了纹身! 369 00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:37,416 ‪我都不认识自己了 这是月亮纹身 370 00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:40,625 ‪我像一头狼 371 00:19:41,416 --> 00:19:44,875 ‪比利 要不你再给我们点一轮酒? ‪我离喝醉还差很远 372 00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:46,500 ‪好主意 莉利 373 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,791 ‪我一起去 我们走! 374 00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:53,791 ‪小心鞋子 欧文 375 00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,541 ‪是我不好 爸爸先生 376 00:19:57,041 --> 00:19:59,458 ‪好吧 刚才你也有点责任 377 00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:02,500 ‪因为你转身不太快 没事 378 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,541 ‪-坐下! ‪-嗯 379 00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:05,541 ‪-待在这里 ‪-好的 380 00:20:13,291 --> 00:20:14,875 ‪-我马上回来 ‪-不要 381 00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:17,833 ‪我去 你陪他 好吗? 382 00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:22,750 ‪哎 他最酷了 对吧? 383 00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:25,833 ‪你能和他做爱 真是太棒了 384 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,916 ‪-是嘛? ‪-而且他身上的味道很好闻! 385 00:20:27,916 --> 00:20:32,083 ‪散发出檀香和危险的味道 386 00:20:32,083 --> 00:20:35,083 ‪-是斯泰森古龙水 ‪-是嘛? 387 00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,833 ‪你好 大个子 388 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:50,458 ‪太好了 又和你见面了 比利 ‪你气色很好嘛 389 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,250 ‪你说什么就是什么 390 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:56,000 ‪对了 跟我说说 ‪银行经理到底干什么? 391 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,625 ‪银行经理什么不干? 392 00:20:57,625 --> 00:21:00,500 ‪所有雇员都由我来管理 393 00:21:01,416 --> 00:21:03,833 ‪我们有12名雇员 394 00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:05,000 ‪真的? 395 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,541 ‪而且我还要管所有安全方面的工作 ‪管整间银行 396 00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:08,791 ‪你怎么找到我们的? 397 00:21:08,791 --> 00:21:10,875 ‪那边那个小王八蛋 398 00:21:11,666 --> 00:21:14,041 ‪他打电话问储物柜的事 399 00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,416 ‪-是嘛? ‪-新同事? 400 00:21:16,416 --> 00:21:18,875 ‪不是 他就是家里的朋友罢了 401 00:21:19,916 --> 00:21:23,458 ‪他是个笨蛋 不了解情况 402 00:21:24,833 --> 00:21:26,666 ‪看起来确实他妈像笨蛋 403 00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,125 ‪-嗯 ‪-比利! 404 00:21:29,125 --> 00:21:30,458 ‪那人太厉害了! 405 00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:44,000 ‪好恶心 406 00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:52,708 ‪哎呀 你在这里 ‪你闻起来好像我继父车上的味道 407 00:21:52,708 --> 00:21:54,750 ‪对了 你和岳父母相处得怎么样啊? 408 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:58,541 ‪一般的糟糕还是一塌糊涂? 409 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:00,708 ‪非常好 410 00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:03,250 ‪我从没见过他们这样的人 411 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,208 ‪我们去跳伞 412 00:22:05,208 --> 00:22:06,708 ‪喝得酩酊大醉 413 00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:08,208 ‪我还跳了点舞 414 00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:11,208 ‪我终于体验到了炫酷高中生的感觉 415 00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:15,958 ‪就好像自己是滑板手 ‪或者会搞破坏什么的 416 00:22:15,958 --> 00:22:19,000 ‪我不干这样的事 ‪但感觉就像我能做出这样的事 417 00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:22,416 ‪很开心 几乎开心得有点过头了 418 00:22:22,416 --> 00:22:26,750 ‪我们向银行之神祈祷今天万事顺利 419 00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:29,416 ‪所有人立刻趴在地上! 420 00:22:32,458 --> 00:22:34,666 ‪趴在地上!快点! 421 00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:39,625 ‪快! 422 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,791 ‪你快点 423 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,291 ‪趴下! 424 00:22:58,833 --> 00:22:59,875 ‪两分钟 425 00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:04,583 ‪听我说 我完全配合你们 426 00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:07,166 ‪因此我必须告诉你们 427 00:23:07,166 --> 00:23:10,750 ‪这保安系统非常先进 不可能突破 428 00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:13,750 ‪你们不可能在两分钟内进入... 429 00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:16,416 ‪这运气也太好了 430 00:23:16,416 --> 00:23:17,416 ‪这... 431 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,500 ‪你还知道可以指纹免密? 432 00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:25,041 ‪无论如何 到这里也就结束了 因为... 433 00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:26,708 ‪闭嘴 读 434 00:23:28,375 --> 00:23:29,458 ‪你怎么... 435 00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:31,250 ‪读! 436 00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:36,041 ‪她在楼梯旁给我留了玫瑰 437 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:42,166 ‪别给我耍花招! 438 00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:47,458 ‪她在楼梯旁留了玫瑰给我 439 00:23:47,958 --> 00:23:50,083 ‪“意外之余 我知道了她心有我” 440 00:23:50,583 --> 00:23:51,708 ‪30秒 441 00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:57,958 ‪-谢谢放我出来 ‪-不客气 442 00:23:59,041 --> 00:23:59,875 ‪进去 443 00:24:02,083 --> 00:24:03,666 ‪-好! ‪-装满 444 00:24:07,291 --> 00:24:10,333 ‪要不要放点小面额的给小费用? 445 00:24:10,333 --> 00:24:12,041 ‪你他妈闭嘴 446 00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:18,708 ‪檀香? 447 00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:19,833 ‪还有危险 448 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,083 ‪快点! 449 00:24:27,708 --> 00:24:29,250 ‪别朝我笑 450 00:24:30,041 --> 00:24:31,041 ‪够了! 451 00:24:31,708 --> 00:24:33,000 ‪时间 452 00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:37,500 ‪哎 听我说 现在收手还来得及 453 00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:46,875 ‪对不起 454 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:59,666 ‪谢谢各位的合作 尤其是你 欧文 455 00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:01,416 ‪你! 456 00:25:07,791 --> 00:25:11,333 ‪他们有最好的身体护甲 戴着面罩 457 00:25:11,333 --> 00:25:12,541 ‪那些东西我见都没见过 458 00:25:12,541 --> 00:25:14,041 ‪好东西我见过很多 459 00:25:14,041 --> 00:25:17,250 ‪我接受了很多培训 ‪看到坏人进来 我立刻就发现了 460 00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:20,208 ‪于是我上前阻止 但是滑倒了 461 00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:23,375 ‪这个能不能别记? 462 00:25:23,958 --> 00:25:26,958 ‪我什么都没看到 什么都不知道 ‪我不和警察多说 463 00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:29,625 ‪已经无数次了 我找不到逃生开关 464 00:25:29,625 --> 00:25:31,000 ‪你管保安工作? 465 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,500 ‪我是老大! 466 00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:34,625 ‪这是全世界最好的工作 467 00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:36,083 ‪你好可爱 468 00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:39,750 ‪第一部分是数字密码 ‪是我小时候的电话号码 469 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:42,916 ‪-好办法 ‪-4028966860 很简单 470 00:25:44,541 --> 00:25:46,458 ‪...留了玫瑰给我 471 00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:49,416 ‪要有点鼻音 ‪好像自己是英国人 但其实又不是 472 00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:50,625 ‪他们是圣地亚哥人 473 00:25:50,625 --> 00:25:52,916 ‪欧文 天呐!怎么弄成这样? 474 00:25:53,666 --> 00:25:54,791 ‪你没事吧? 475 00:25:57,291 --> 00:25:59,666 ‪-我们听说之后马上就赶来了 ‪-“我们”? 476 00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:23,583 ‪我是联邦调查局的罗杰·奥德姆探员 477 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:27,125 ‪说说劫匪的情况吧 478 00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:30,291 ‪能不能描述一下他们的身体特征? 479 00:26:30,291 --> 00:26:31,291 ‪任何信息都可以 480 00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:36,125 ‪没办法描述 他们当时戴着面具 481 00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:39,583 ‪有没有听说过“幽灵强盗”? 482 00:26:40,291 --> 00:26:41,458 ‪嗯 我是一名银行经理 483 00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:43,958 ‪幽灵强盗 ‪是美国历史上最臭名昭著的银行劫匪 484 00:26:43,958 --> 00:26:45,500 ‪抢了超过100间银行 485 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:47,208 ‪在各州流窜作案 486 00:26:47,208 --> 00:26:49,750 ‪有时候会一下子消失好几年 487 00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:56,541 ‪你觉得是幽灵强盗干的? 488 00:26:57,666 --> 00:27:02,125 ‪我感觉就是他们干的 489 00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:06,791 ‪但是有一件事我一直很疑惑 490 00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:14,041 ‪他们是怎么进入你们金库的 491 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000 ‪没事 欧文 492 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,208 ‪-结束了 ‪-深呼吸 493 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,916 ‪对 用鼻子吸气 494 00:27:24,916 --> 00:27:26,250 ‪-对 495 00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:29,458 ‪-擤出来 ‪-用力擤出来 乖孩子 496 00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:30,916 ‪哎! 497 00:27:40,166 --> 00:27:43,083 ‪好的 到此为止 够了 498 00:27:43,083 --> 00:27:45,458 ‪-你今天已经受够了 ‪-太激动了 499 00:27:46,375 --> 00:27:47,416 ‪非常好 欧文 500 00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:56,833 ‪如果想到什么 ‪随时打上面的号码找我 501 00:27:56,833 --> 00:28:00,750 ‪下面的那个号码不要打 502 00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:28,166 ‪如果坐一个人到前排 ‪会不会舒服一点? 503 00:28:28,166 --> 00:28:29,125 ‪不会 504 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,083 ‪有我们照顾你 505 00:28:32,083 --> 00:28:33,083 ‪嗯 506 00:28:36,666 --> 00:28:37,500 ‪来吧 507 00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:42,375 ‪好了! 508 00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:43,666 ‪这是谁的车? 509 00:28:43,666 --> 00:28:46,625 ‪你的 欧文 归你了 510 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:47,541 ‪真不错 是吧? 511 00:28:47,541 --> 00:28:50,000 ‪爸妈问都没问我们 ‪就给我们买了一辆车 512 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,625 ‪结婚小礼物嘛 513 00:28:51,625 --> 00:28:55,416 ‪你那辆烂车实在有点寒颤 514 00:28:55,416 --> 00:28:59,916 ‪你们这一整天就是去干这个了啊? ‪去买肌肉车了? 515 00:28:59,916 --> 00:29:03,083 ‪感觉这辆车 ‪特别有欧文·布朗宁的感觉 516 00:29:03,083 --> 00:29:05,666 ‪-不是吗? ‪-是啊 特别适合你 517 00:29:07,208 --> 00:29:09,958 ‪我很喜欢 太好了! 518 00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:13,125 ‪我太喜欢了 谢谢你们 ‪我真是迫不及待了 519 00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:14,458 ‪现在就开一圈? 520 00:29:15,083 --> 00:29:15,916 ‪不了 521 00:29:19,875 --> 00:29:23,541 ‪我85%确定是他们 我得告诉帕克尔 522 00:29:23,541 --> 00:29:27,166 ‪如果你错怪未婚妻父母抢银行 523 00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:28,625 ‪这桩婚事就完了! 524 00:29:28,625 --> 00:29:31,375 ‪那我怎么办?假装没这回事? 525 00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:36,000 ‪没错 我跟你说 ‪我这辈子80%时间都在假装没事 526 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,208 ‪三周前 我把麦片弄洒在自己床上 527 00:29:39,208 --> 00:29:41,083 ‪我到现在都没说什么 528 00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:42,625 ‪还有 529 00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:44,625 ‪你不是说 ‪你把金库密码告诉了他们吗? 530 00:29:44,625 --> 00:29:47,458 ‪对 当时我喝醉了跟他们吹牛 531 00:29:47,458 --> 00:29:49,083 ‪嗯 也就是说 532 00:29:49,083 --> 00:29:51,250 ‪如果他们抢劫了银行 533 00:29:52,250 --> 00:29:53,125 ‪那你也有份 534 00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,166 ‪哪儿有? 535 00:29:57,750 --> 00:30:00,791 ‪-你把密码都他妈给他们了! ‪-你是说我是从犯? 536 00:30:00,791 --> 00:30:01,708 ‪不是从犯 537 00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:03,416 ‪你是他妈主谋! 538 00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:05,583 ‪最大滔天! 539 00:30:05,583 --> 00:30:06,791 ‪我跟你说实话 540 00:30:06,791 --> 00:30:08,583 ‪我也偷银行的东西 541 00:30:08,583 --> 00:30:11,166 ‪没错 我7年没买过厕纸了 542 00:30:12,291 --> 00:30:13,458 ‪-是你拿的? ‪-嗯 543 00:30:13,458 --> 00:30:17,791 ‪包括男厕和女厕 拜托 执行力可强了 544 00:30:17,791 --> 00:30:20,500 ‪厕纸的事我不管 545 00:30:20,500 --> 00:30:23,041 ‪-哎!好的 再见 谢谢 ‪-哎!是谁啊? 546 00:30:25,416 --> 00:30:26,458 ‪面包房 547 00:30:26,458 --> 00:30:32,458 ‪他们打过来说店里乱得一塌糊涂 ‪蛋糕做不了了 548 00:30:32,458 --> 00:30:34,208 ‪等等 什么?你说真的? 549 00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:35,666 ‪-是啊 ‪-怎么了? 550 00:30:35,666 --> 00:30:38,416 ‪-面包师死了 ‪-天呐! 551 00:30:38,416 --> 00:30:40,833 ‪-怎么死的? ‪-被马踢中胸部 552 00:30:40,833 --> 00:30:42,125 ‪-神啊! ‪-嗯 553 00:30:42,125 --> 00:30:44,125 ‪把心脏踢爆了 554 00:30:44,125 --> 00:30:45,583 ‪-天呐! ‪-是啊 555 00:30:45,583 --> 00:30:48,500 ‪哎 别伤心! 556 00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:51,666 ‪没事 那个面包师是种族主义者 557 00:30:53,166 --> 00:30:55,500 ‪-很坏的种族主义者 ‪-种族主义者有好的吗? 558 00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:56,458 ‪我奶奶就是 559 00:30:56,458 --> 00:30:58,458 ‪对了 什么事? 560 00:30:59,041 --> 00:31:02,333 ‪我爸妈做了咖喱饺 我来跟你说一下 561 00:31:03,791 --> 00:31:06,500 ‪好棒啊!咖喱饺!我很喜欢吃! 562 00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:09,583 ‪-我一会儿就下去 ‪-不急 563 00:31:09,583 --> 00:31:11,208 ‪-好吗? ‪-没事的 564 00:31:11,208 --> 00:31:14,333 ‪-没事 我们重新订一个蛋糕 ‪-嗯 565 00:31:14,333 --> 00:31:17,000 ‪这次肯定不能是种族主义者了 566 00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:18,750 ‪好的 爱你噢 567 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,125 ‪你好 我要取消一个蛋糕订单 568 00:31:26,916 --> 00:31:30,041 ‪嗯 我未婚妻脑袋被马踢了 569 00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:42,041 ‪你为什么这么紧张 欧文? 570 00:31:44,166 --> 00:31:46,166 ‪我知道这听起来很离谱 571 00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:48,458 ‪但是我觉得帕克尔的父母 572 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,208 ‪可能是罪犯 573 00:31:51,208 --> 00:31:53,541 ‪-嗯 ‪-当然是罪犯 574 00:31:53,541 --> 00:31:55,916 ‪要不怎么会连女儿的婚礼都不来? 575 00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,541 ‪他们来参加婚礼!好吗? 576 00:31:59,125 --> 00:32:01,541 ‪真的来!我们... 577 00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:04,083 ‪好吧 578 00:32:05,083 --> 00:32:07,791 ‪我觉得抢我银行的就是他们 579 00:32:07,791 --> 00:32:10,125 ‪-不是吧!你怎么知道? ‪-我不知道啊 580 00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:11,833 ‪这对帕克尔的影响太大 581 00:32:11,833 --> 00:32:13,458 ‪一定要确定了才能说 582 00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:14,666 ‪所以我需要你们帮忙 583 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:16,958 ‪他们来了 ‪把你们的拿手好戏施展出来 584 00:32:16,958 --> 00:32:17,916 ‪什么拿手好戏? 585 00:32:17,916 --> 00:32:21,208 ‪刨根问底问八卦私人问题 586 00:32:21,916 --> 00:32:22,750 ‪好的 拜托 587 00:32:22,750 --> 00:32:24,208 ‪你们好啊! 588 00:32:25,500 --> 00:32:27,875 ‪亲爱的 你真的准备好了吗? 589 00:32:27,875 --> 00:32:29,708 ‪-嗯 你呢? ‪-嗯 我吃了颗大麻软糖 590 00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:30,625 ‪聪明 591 00:32:30,625 --> 00:32:31,958 ‪比利和莉利·麦克德莫特 592 00:32:31,958 --> 00:32:33,791 ‪这是我爸妈尼尔和玛吉·布朗宁 593 00:32:33,791 --> 00:32:35,916 ‪-幸会 尼尔 ‪-幸会 594 00:32:36,916 --> 00:32:38,916 ‪-你很有魅力 ‪-谢谢 595 00:32:38,916 --> 00:32:40,208 ‪这不是夸奖 596 00:32:40,791 --> 00:32:42,000 ‪我觉得有点过头 597 00:32:53,083 --> 00:32:54,750 ‪你好 598 00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:55,875 ‪-你好 ‪-你好 599 00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:02,958 ‪说到魅力 你的皮肤真是完美无瑕 600 00:33:02,958 --> 00:33:04,625 ‪你用什么的啊? 601 00:33:04,625 --> 00:33:05,541 ‪肥皂 602 00:33:06,791 --> 00:33:09,500 ‪-要不我们喝点鸡尾酒? ‪-好的 喝鸡尾酒 603 00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:11,083 ‪太阳还没下山呢 604 00:33:13,041 --> 00:33:15,291 ‪好的 我们订了桌子 坐下吧 605 00:33:15,291 --> 00:33:16,708 ‪会很开心的! 606 00:33:18,666 --> 00:33:21,833 ‪然后我说:“我们不需要船夫!“ 607 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:26,291 ‪莉利把那小伙儿推下船 ‪然后我们就划着船在大运河里前行 608 00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:32,666 ‪对了 比利 莉利 问你们一件事 609 00:33:32,666 --> 00:33:33,750 ‪嗯 问吧 610 00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:35,750 ‪你们有没有犯过重罪? 611 00:33:36,333 --> 00:33:39,375 ‪-不是的 如果要成为一家人... ‪-别这样 612 00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:42,000 ‪...就得知道他们是不是罪犯 所以... 613 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,291 ‪-别这样 ‪-过来 614 00:33:43,291 --> 00:33:44,458 ‪你们是罪犯吗? 615 00:33:44,458 --> 00:33:46,250 ‪我父母不是罪犯 616 00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:47,875 ‪没事 宝贝 617 00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:49,416 ‪我们的生活方式 618 00:33:49,416 --> 00:33:51,958 ‪在布朗宁一家人看来 ‪似乎确实与众不同 619 00:33:51,958 --> 00:33:56,250 ‪嗯 他们与糯米人一起在丛林生活 620 00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:57,333 ‪不是糯米族 621 00:33:57,333 --> 00:33:59,250 ‪-叫什么来着? ‪-亚诺马米 622 00:33:59,250 --> 00:34:00,166 ‪我说的是什么? 623 00:34:00,166 --> 00:34:03,291 ‪你说的是“糯米” 日本餐厅里很多 624 00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:06,625 ‪亚诺马米人waitheri totihi peheti 625 00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:08,041 ‪什么意思? 626 00:34:08,041 --> 00:34:10,958 ‪这是亚诺马米人常说的话 ‪你们一定听过 627 00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:14,708 ‪-亲爱的 你干什么? ‪-没什么!就是找话聊嘛 628 00:34:16,541 --> 00:34:19,625 ‪欧文 不知道的话 ‪还以为你在考我们呢 629 00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:20,541 ‪不是! 630 00:34:21,208 --> 00:34:22,875 ‪但你们和亚诺马米人生活了两年 631 00:34:22,875 --> 00:34:27,000 ‪一定知道“waitheri totihi peheti” ‪是什么意思 632 00:34:31,083 --> 00:34:32,333 ‪意思是勇气 633 00:34:33,583 --> 00:34:35,541 ‪美丽与真实 634 00:34:36,250 --> 00:34:38,291 ‪如果我们看起来有点疑惑 635 00:34:38,291 --> 00:34:40,916 ‪那是因为你的口音太糟糕了 636 00:34:40,916 --> 00:34:44,958 ‪这是对亚诺马米人 ‪和对他们的神的侮辱! 637 00:34:47,791 --> 00:34:51,041 ‪欧文 你怎么回事? 638 00:34:51,041 --> 00:34:55,000 ‪不过亚马逊雨林确实是神奇的地方 639 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,875 ‪你们俩一定会很喜欢 640 00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:58,833 ‪我们不旅行 641 00:34:59,458 --> 00:35:01,541 ‪尼尔到外地就水土不服拉肚子 642 00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:04,666 ‪-不光是到外地 ‪-嗯 643 00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:08,416 ‪玛吉 在这谨慎的外表之下 644 00:35:08,416 --> 00:35:12,541 ‪一定有一个不安分的自由灵魂 ‪期盼着一跃而出 645 00:35:12,541 --> 00:35:17,125 ‪她当年肯定很狂野 646 00:35:17,125 --> 00:35:22,458 ‪在我怀欧文之前 647 00:35:22,458 --> 00:35:26,333 ‪有一次我参加了一个性派对 648 00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:28,708 ‪-啊? ‪-嗯 649 00:35:29,250 --> 00:35:31,000 ‪-妈 性派对? ‪-对 650 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,041 ‪性派对? 651 00:35:32,041 --> 00:35:33,333 ‪-是啊! ‪-嗯 652 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:34,958 ‪这个词我可能说得不对吧 653 00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:38,541 ‪不过就是那种和所有人操的派对 654 00:35:38,541 --> 00:35:42,208 ‪-对 这就是性派对 没错 ‪-我参加过很多性派对 655 00:35:43,291 --> 00:35:44,916 ‪她就是在那里见到了丹·马里诺 656 00:35:44,916 --> 00:35:46,916 ‪-橄榄球运动员? ‪-对! 657 00:35:46,916 --> 00:35:49,458 ‪要不就是在杰西潘尼百货商店 658 00:35:49,458 --> 00:35:51,750 ‪丹·马里诺 ‪不去杰西潘尼百货商店买东西 659 00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:53,041 ‪他可进了名人堂 660 00:35:53,041 --> 00:35:55,291 ‪你是在性派对上见到了丹·马里诺 661 00:35:55,291 --> 00:35:58,375 ‪-天呐!爸是我爸吗? ‪-我当然是你爸 662 00:35:58,375 --> 00:35:59,416 ‪别胡思乱想! 663 00:35:59,416 --> 00:36:01,583 ‪要不你怎么有 ‪布朗宁家族家传的腰毛? 664 00:36:02,333 --> 00:36:07,500 ‪我见过你运动 ‪你肯定不是丹·马里诺的孩子! 665 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,083 ‪-啊? ‪-丹·马里诺! 666 00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:12,125 ‪-敬丹尼小子 ‪-丹尼! 667 00:36:12,125 --> 00:36:13,375 ‪丹尼小子! 668 00:36:13,375 --> 00:36:14,625 ‪敬丹尼小子! 669 00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:17,875 ‪达阵! 670 00:36:29,041 --> 00:36:32,000 ‪好 你看啊 这是我 这是我爸 671 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,250 ‪鼻子 亮晶晶的小眼睛 ‪都一样 好吗? 672 00:36:37,083 --> 00:36:40,500 ‪-还有腰毛 ‪-亲爱的 我见过你的腰毛 673 00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:42,958 ‪好吧 当然 674 00:36:42,958 --> 00:36:44,333 ‪但你没见过我爸的 675 00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,791 ‪-要不要给他打视频? ‪-不要 676 00:36:45,791 --> 00:36:47,833 ‪我们聊一下 好吗? 677 00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:51,666 ‪好啊 678 00:36:52,916 --> 00:36:53,875 ‪没事吧? 679 00:36:54,875 --> 00:36:56,125 ‪晚餐时怎么回事? 680 00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:57,208 ‪我不知道 681 00:36:57,208 --> 00:37:00,041 ‪不就是丹·马里诺操过我妈吗? 682 00:37:00,041 --> 00:37:03,291 ‪嗯 我知道 而且你的银行被抢 683 00:37:03,291 --> 00:37:04,541 ‪他个子很大 684 00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:06,791 ‪是的 没错 685 00:37:08,708 --> 00:37:12,875 ‪听我说 我知道你经历了很多事 ‪对你来说心理冲击很大 686 00:37:12,875 --> 00:37:14,250 ‪两件事都是这样 687 00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,625 ‪不过是不是还有别的事? 688 00:37:17,875 --> 00:37:19,916 ‪不管是什么事 你都可以跟我说 689 00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:21,666 ‪我不会生气 690 00:37:22,833 --> 00:37:23,666 ‪好吗? 691 00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:25,250 ‪好的 692 00:37:28,541 --> 00:37:29,375 ‪好 693 00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,083 ‪我最近很古怪... 694 00:37:36,583 --> 00:37:38,291 ‪是因为我觉得抢我银行的是你爸妈 695 00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:42,666 ‪啊? 696 00:37:44,916 --> 00:37:46,833 ‪-你说真的? ‪-对 我说真的 697 00:37:46,833 --> 00:37:48,375 ‪其中一个劫匪知道我的名字 698 00:37:48,375 --> 00:37:49,625 ‪银行官网上就有 699 00:37:49,625 --> 00:37:53,375 ‪当我踩到他脚后跟时 ‪他转身看我 和你爸的样子一样 700 00:37:53,375 --> 00:37:54,750 ‪你说他们戴了面具 701 00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:59,250 ‪对 没错 但对我的轻蔑也是那个样子 702 00:37:59,250 --> 00:38:00,791 ‪整个感觉就很像 703 00:38:00,791 --> 00:38:03,291 ‪而且他们知道 704 00:38:03,291 --> 00:38:05,333 ‪“她在楼梯旁留了玫瑰给我” 705 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,958 ‪是进入金库的声音激活码 706 00:38:07,958 --> 00:38:10,291 ‪我记得很清楚 ‪我喝醉之后跟你妈说了 707 00:38:10,291 --> 00:38:13,125 ‪嗯 好的 还有谁知道密码吗? 708 00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,208 ‪嗯 就几个 709 00:38:15,208 --> 00:38:17,875 ‪泰瑞 盖瑞 玛丽索尔 710 00:38:18,666 --> 00:38:21,083 ‪我应该跟我的心理医生说过一次 711 00:38:21,083 --> 00:38:22,750 ‪不过我觉得她从来不听我说话 712 00:38:23,375 --> 00:38:24,208 ‪好的 713 00:38:24,208 --> 00:38:26,416 ‪你自己说他们很难对付 714 00:38:26,416 --> 00:38:28,541 ‪我的意思是他们个性很强 715 00:38:28,541 --> 00:38:30,541 ‪而不是说他们会抢银行 716 00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:32,750 ‪我没说他们就是银行劫匪 717 00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:35,958 ‪我是说他们可能是银行劫匪 718 00:38:35,958 --> 00:38:38,250 ‪我就是提出这个想法 719 00:38:38,250 --> 00:38:42,416 ‪现在我的想法就是你他妈疯了 720 00:38:57,875 --> 00:39:00,541 ‪没想到我们要开这样的垃圾 721 00:39:05,041 --> 00:39:06,750 ‪他妈的银行抢劫犯! 722 00:39:17,958 --> 00:39:21,083 ‪天呐!这玩意儿还真快 723 00:39:32,833 --> 00:39:34,125 ‪不好意思! 724 00:39:35,583 --> 00:39:36,416 ‪不好意思 725 00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:51,250 ‪好吧 嗯!不好意思! 726 00:39:57,125 --> 00:39:58,416 ‪赶紧滚! 727 00:40:05,041 --> 00:40:07,083 ‪好吧 好吓人 728 00:40:17,875 --> 00:40:19,000 ‪谢谢你 安吉星 729 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:19,958 ‪乐意效劳 730 00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:30,125 ‪浪子回头 还带着礼物 731 00:40:31,583 --> 00:40:32,625 ‪天呐! 732 00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:34,583 ‪你好帅 733 00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:37,708 ‪我可以像吃玉米棒子一样吃你的鸡鸡 734 00:40:47,375 --> 00:40:49,000 ‪这是疤面煞星的房子? 735 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,000 ‪妈的 736 00:40:53,875 --> 00:40:54,708 ‪好 737 00:40:58,625 --> 00:40:59,458 ‪加把劲儿! 738 00:41:02,083 --> 00:41:04,833 ‪好吧 难怪有钱人要种这些东西 739 00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:15,458 ‪赶紧的 好吗? 740 00:41:16,833 --> 00:41:19,875 ‪我不知道为什么我们不能文明一点 741 00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:22,458 ‪而且如果有谁有权生气 ‪那应该是我才对 742 00:41:22,458 --> 00:41:25,833 ‪被出卖的人是我 对吧? 743 00:41:43,750 --> 00:41:45,458 ‪噢 真对不起 744 00:41:45,458 --> 00:41:47,166 ‪对不起 小兄弟 745 00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:50,416 ‪不要啊! 746 00:41:53,250 --> 00:41:55,166 ‪这里面有将近100万 747 00:41:56,625 --> 00:41:57,458 ‪很好 748 00:41:58,250 --> 00:41:59,708 ‪现在你们只欠我500万了 749 00:42:01,458 --> 00:42:03,458 ‪迷你狗?比较便宜吗? 750 00:42:03,458 --> 00:42:06,000 ‪我们拿了100万 不是600万 751 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,333 ‪你们忘记规矩了吗? 752 00:42:08,333 --> 00:42:11,000 ‪你们跑路的时候 利息也在滚 753 00:42:13,458 --> 00:42:15,041 ‪对不起 我踢了你们的朋友 754 00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:23,166 ‪看看你们这些小家伙 ‪从这上面看 你们好可爱 755 00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:25,708 ‪要是你们稍微高一点就够得着了 756 00:42:27,041 --> 00:42:28,791 ‪为什么? 757 00:42:29,833 --> 00:42:32,208 ‪要弄500万 我们得花点时间 瑞涵 758 00:42:32,208 --> 00:42:34,583 ‪我像是不讲道理的女人吗? 759 00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:36,541 ‪当然不是 你们在本周内完成就行 760 00:42:37,750 --> 00:42:41,833 ‪不好意思 ‪是不是和你们女儿婚礼有冲突? 761 00:42:43,958 --> 00:42:44,875 ‪妈的 762 00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:47,208 ‪我居然知道你们有一个女儿 ‪你们很意外吗? 763 00:42:47,208 --> 00:42:50,958 ‪我们假设她的名字叫帕克尔 764 00:42:50,958 --> 00:42:53,291 ‪她周六要结婚 765 00:42:53,791 --> 00:42:56,791 ‪如果你们在婚礼前不给我500万美元 766 00:42:56,791 --> 00:43:01,666 ‪帕克尔就只能嫁给死神了 767 00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:07,333 ‪-意思是她就死定了 ‪-嗯 我听懂了 768 00:43:07,333 --> 00:43:09,666 ‪我知道你听懂了 亲爱的 769 00:43:09,666 --> 00:43:12,708 ‪我有没有提过我弄了一个新鲨鱼池? 770 00:43:12,708 --> 00:43:15,833 ‪也许你们女儿可以帮我试一试 771 00:43:17,708 --> 00:43:19,875 ‪鲨鱼们可饿坏了 772 00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:27,083 ‪接啊 帕克尔 773 00:43:27,083 --> 00:43:29,375 ‪-帕克尔 接啊! ‪-谢谢来电... 774 00:43:29,375 --> 00:43:30,625 ‪妈的! 775 00:43:30,625 --> 00:43:33,666 ‪噢 不是吧! 776 00:43:34,291 --> 00:43:35,250 ‪神啊! 777 00:43:36,166 --> 00:43:37,000 ‪好吧 778 00:43:41,375 --> 00:43:43,083 ‪你好 警官 有什么事吗? 779 00:43:44,750 --> 00:43:46,916 ‪请出示驾驶证和打飞机证 780 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:49,000 ‪好吧 早上好 781 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,291 ‪看样子你的状态很差 782 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,791 ‪连我这个用自己袜子过滤咖啡的人 ‪都这么说 783 00:43:54,791 --> 00:43:56,875 ‪没有 我挺好 谢谢关心 784 00:43:57,958 --> 00:44:00,666 ‪好像有一条狗在咬你的腿 785 00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:06,416 ‪嗯 就是我的小伙伴罢了 786 00:44:06,416 --> 00:44:08,708 ‪我们在树林里散了一会儿步 787 00:44:08,708 --> 00:44:10,041 ‪很有意思 788 00:44:10,916 --> 00:44:16,000 ‪幽灵强盗 ‪很清楚如何避开你银行的保安系统 789 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,750 ‪当我打电话给阳山联合银行 ‪查系统是谁设计的 790 00:44:20,916 --> 00:44:22,333 ‪知道他们怎么说吗? 791 00:44:24,208 --> 00:44:26,666 ‪你是不是在暗示说我与此有关? 792 00:44:27,666 --> 00:44:29,083 ‪介意打开后备箱吗? 793 00:44:29,875 --> 00:44:32,625 ‪-打开后备箱 ‪-好吧 太离谱了 我只能这么说 794 00:44:32,625 --> 00:44:36,500 ‪太荒唐了 我一辈子从来没犯过罪 795 00:44:38,208 --> 00:44:39,750 ‪凡事都有第一次 796 00:44:41,041 --> 00:44:42,375 ‪看看 797 00:44:42,375 --> 00:44:44,375 ‪两台一次性手机 798 00:44:44,375 --> 00:44:46,833 ‪两盒9毫米口径子弹 799 00:44:47,666 --> 00:44:49,625 ‪还有一台变声器 800 00:44:49,625 --> 00:44:51,416 ‪是有人放在我的后备箱里的 801 00:44:51,416 --> 00:44:53,833 ‪谁 欧文?你的同伙是谁? 802 00:44:56,125 --> 00:44:57,000 ‪谁 欧文? 803 00:44:57,583 --> 00:44:58,416 ‪我... 804 00:44:58,958 --> 00:45:00,416 ‪我不知道 805 00:45:00,416 --> 00:45:05,083 ‪好吧 听我说 我明白 ‪我有时候也会忘记事情 806 00:45:05,083 --> 00:45:08,708 ‪不如在看守所 ‪度过一个悠长的周末假期 807 00:45:08,708 --> 00:45:10,416 ‪帮你恢复一下记忆? 808 00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:12,625 ‪我本周末就要结婚了 809 00:45:12,625 --> 00:45:16,416 ‪我也结过婚 娶了美丽的雪儿 810 00:45:17,625 --> 00:45:20,000 ‪-知道她现在在哪里吗? ‪-她死了? 811 00:45:21,041 --> 00:45:22,125 ‪那倒好了 812 00:45:22,833 --> 00:45:25,916 ‪她和现任丈夫住在基韦斯特 813 00:45:25,916 --> 00:45:27,750 ‪他是前海军海豹突击队员 814 00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:31,625 ‪腹肌硬邦邦 鸡鸡上可以降落波音747 815 00:45:31,625 --> 00:45:32,958 ‪大飞机啊 816 00:45:32,958 --> 00:45:34,750 ‪宽体飞机 817 00:45:35,583 --> 00:45:39,833 ‪我一心扑在抓捕幽灵强盗上 818 00:45:39,833 --> 00:45:42,166 ‪婚姻因此破裂 819 00:45:43,541 --> 00:45:44,583 ‪房子也没了 820 00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:47,125 ‪可能我的精神都不正常了 821 00:45:47,125 --> 00:45:48,333 ‪查了一段时间之后 822 00:45:48,333 --> 00:45:53,791 ‪我开始想 幽灵强盗会不会真的幽灵 823 00:45:54,958 --> 00:45:59,666 ‪哎! ‪不如把这样的精力去把雪儿追回来 824 00:46:00,416 --> 00:46:02,833 ‪对吧?我可以做一张合成照片 825 00:46:02,833 --> 00:46:06,083 ‪别让这个大鸟男打败你! 826 00:46:06,666 --> 00:46:08,625 ‪-把他关起来 ‪-等等 不要!我要结婚了! 827 00:46:08,625 --> 00:46:10,583 ‪婚礼肯定有 828 00:46:10,583 --> 00:46:12,333 ‪还会有精彩的单身派对 829 00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:13,875 ‪本周末在丁区监室办 830 00:46:16,125 --> 00:46:16,958 ‪不是我 831 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,333 ‪是我岳父母 832 00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:23,666 ‪他们抢了我的银行 我没帮他们 833 00:46:23,666 --> 00:46:24,583 ‪他们利用了我 834 00:46:25,166 --> 00:46:26,666 ‪妈的 小子 你招得还真快 835 00:46:27,416 --> 00:46:30,250 ‪证明给我看 ‪戴上密录器让他们自己承认 836 00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:32,000 ‪你要我当内奸? 837 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,416 ‪我要你做对的事 欧文 838 00:46:35,208 --> 00:46:38,916 ‪洗清自己的名誉 ‪并帮助我抓住幽灵强盗 839 00:46:40,125 --> 00:46:42,625 ‪没错 当内奸 840 00:46:46,500 --> 00:46:47,500 ‪帕克尔 841 00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:50,583 ‪帕克尔!哎 帕克尔! 842 00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:53,541 ‪-你去哪儿了啊? ‪-我们得谈谈 843 00:46:53,541 --> 00:46:56,333 ‪-你为什么捏着胸口? ‪-因为我... 844 00:46:57,583 --> 00:47:01,458 ‪...穿的这件衬衫好软 ‪感觉好像我的手指在做水疗 845 00:47:01,458 --> 00:47:03,208 ‪-看起来也不怎么样嘛... ‪-别碰我! 846 00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:06,208 ‪不好意思 847 00:47:06,208 --> 00:47:10,916 ‪因为岳父母在婚礼前不可以碰新郎 848 00:47:10,916 --> 00:47:13,166 ‪-胡说八道 ‪-你是不是吸毒了 欧文? 849 00:47:13,166 --> 00:47:14,333 ‪我不做违法的事 850 00:47:14,333 --> 00:47:15,500 ‪和别人不一样 851 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:18,666 ‪别人会做违法的事 我也不介意 852 00:47:18,666 --> 00:47:21,791 ‪如果要谈这个问题 说说心里话 ‪我也没意见 853 00:47:21,791 --> 00:47:25,083 ‪好的 我们得走了 ‪因为我们得去面包房 854 00:47:26,083 --> 00:47:29,916 ‪面包房 对 好的 咱们俩去面包房吧 855 00:47:29,916 --> 00:47:33,000 ‪因为我们的面包师去世了 ‪我们得新做一个蛋糕 856 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,375 ‪要不我们还是一起去吧 ‪欢乐的大家庭 857 00:47:37,125 --> 00:47:39,000 ‪还是不要让你们为这些小事跑了 858 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:40,000 ‪我想去 859 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,333 ‪我们当然想去 谁不喜欢甜点呢? 860 00:47:42,333 --> 00:47:44,791 ‪是全素甜点 861 00:47:44,791 --> 00:47:47,083 ‪大家都知道很难吃 862 00:47:47,083 --> 00:47:50,125 ‪不好意思 帕克尔 不过我和你说实话 863 00:47:50,125 --> 00:47:52,583 ‪确实很难吃 好吗? 864 00:47:52,583 --> 00:47:56,000 ‪所以你们还是别去了 我们去尝 走吧 865 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,291 ‪如果我们现在出发的话 866 00:47:57,291 --> 00:48:01,000 ‪-我们要迟到了 ‪-我们都去?好吧 好的! 867 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:06,750 ‪好的! ‪我们去格兰特大道1308号品尝蛋糕! 868 00:48:06,750 --> 00:48:10,833 ‪我出门都会带两个包 ‪手提一个 然后检查一下 一 二 869 00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:12,125 ‪然后检查一下 一 二 870 00:48:12,125 --> 00:48:13,291 ‪笨蛋 871 00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:16,541 ‪你开车! ‪比利·麦克德莫特开车!真好 872 00:48:18,416 --> 00:48:20,833 ‪要玩“我从来没有”游戏吗? 873 00:48:20,833 --> 00:48:24,000 ‪我从来没有戴过恐怖面具 ‪万圣节除外 874 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,125 ‪轮到你了 875 00:48:26,916 --> 00:48:30,291 ‪我们到了 就在店门南面 876 00:48:30,291 --> 00:48:33,625 ‪你们真的不要在车里等?好的 877 00:48:33,625 --> 00:48:36,958 ‪我们到了门前 我现在打开门 878 00:48:37,625 --> 00:48:39,666 ‪-这边 请进 ‪-好香啊 879 00:48:39,666 --> 00:48:41,083 ‪-好香 ‪-真不错 880 00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:42,541 ‪嗯 看见蛋糕了 881 00:48:43,041 --> 00:48:45,791 ‪欢迎光临“全素天后” ‪这里为您制作蛋糕... 882 00:48:46,375 --> 00:48:47,583 ‪悉听尊便! 883 00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:50,750 ‪我是凯伊 这是我姐姐艾达 884 00:48:50,750 --> 00:48:55,250 ‪她负责全素 我负责天后 885 00:48:56,416 --> 00:48:59,500 ‪非常感谢你们 ‪在最后一刻帮我们准备蛋糕 886 00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:02,458 ‪没事 我很理解最后一刻这件事 887 00:49:02,458 --> 00:49:04,416 ‪我做什么事都不准时 888 00:49:04,416 --> 00:49:06,833 ‪你确定要在这里做吗? 889 00:49:06,833 --> 00:49:08,541 ‪我们的婚礼可延误不得 890 00:49:08,541 --> 00:49:10,166 ‪不 没事 他们的评论很好 891 00:49:10,166 --> 00:49:11,916 ‪这只是他们的营销方式 892 00:49:13,541 --> 00:49:16,791 ‪-我怎么老是这样 艾达? ‪-凯伊 你可能在流血 893 00:49:16,791 --> 00:49:18,208 ‪-艾达! ‪-好吧 对不起 894 00:49:18,208 --> 00:49:20,125 ‪-蛋糕!快点! ‪-好吧 895 00:49:22,458 --> 00:49:25,416 ‪这是我们的“超越性爱”红丝绒蛋糕 896 00:49:25,416 --> 00:49:27,041 ‪艾达亲手做的 897 00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:29,208 ‪这名字可不是骗人的 898 00:49:29,208 --> 00:49:30,708 ‪我把两样对比过 899 00:49:30,708 --> 00:49:32,125 ‪这是全素的? 900 00:49:33,291 --> 00:49:34,166 ‪是的 901 00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:38,750 ‪帕克尔 能和你私下说两句吗?很快 902 00:49:39,375 --> 00:49:40,375 ‪怎么了? 903 00:49:40,375 --> 00:49:45,333 ‪-啊?好的 ‪-重要的人生决定 我们要商量一致 904 00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,791 ‪-好吧? ‪-是嘛? 905 00:49:54,583 --> 00:49:56,916 ‪-你这里有点东西 ‪-什么 亲爱的? 906 00:49:56,916 --> 00:49:58,750 ‪搞什么鬼? 907 00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:02,416 ‪对不起!我不知道你们是一对 908 00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:04,125 ‪欧文 怎么了? 909 00:50:04,125 --> 00:50:06,166 ‪我知道说出来你会觉得很离谱 910 00:50:06,166 --> 00:50:09,750 ‪联邦调查局认为我和劫案有关 911 00:50:09,750 --> 00:50:11,416 ‪-啊? ‪-他们让我戴... 912 00:50:11,416 --> 00:50:13,875 ‪噢!好漂亮的小面包房 913 00:50:13,875 --> 00:50:16,333 ‪-你一定是帕克尔! ‪-你好 914 00:50:17,708 --> 00:50:20,125 ‪-你来这里干什么? ‪-谁都不要乱来! 915 00:50:20,125 --> 00:50:22,166 ‪拿着枪的人是你 瑞涵 916 00:50:22,166 --> 00:50:23,791 ‪对 现在是你拿着枪 917 00:50:23,791 --> 00:50:26,541 ‪在面包房里劫持多名人质 918 00:50:27,041 --> 00:50:28,166 ‪人质! 919 00:50:29,583 --> 00:50:33,208 ‪-怎么回事? ‪-听我说 瑞涵 我们说了会弄钱给你 920 00:50:33,208 --> 00:50:36,708 ‪噢 对 没错 ‪但我记得你们说话不算数 921 00:50:36,708 --> 00:50:40,000 ‪为了防止你们又逃之夭夭 922 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:44,083 ‪我想着来这里拿点保障 923 00:50:48,500 --> 00:50:51,875 ‪-走吧 帕克尔 ‪-哎!拿我换她 924 00:50:51,875 --> 00:50:52,916 ‪带我走! 925 00:50:52,916 --> 00:50:55,750 ‪你这熊熊工作室小子? ‪你觉得你有资格当人质吗? 926 00:50:55,750 --> 00:50:58,708 ‪没人在意你的死活 927 00:50:58,708 --> 00:51:01,708 ‪看看他们 了解一下情况 928 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,250 ‪完全不在意 929 00:51:04,833 --> 00:51:05,750 ‪我搞不懂 930 00:51:05,750 --> 00:51:07,166 ‪欧文猜对了? 931 00:51:07,166 --> 00:51:08,875 ‪按她说的做 932 00:51:08,875 --> 00:51:11,958 ‪冷静 宝贝 冷静一点 933 00:51:11,958 --> 00:51:15,166 ‪情绪都起来了 哭得快喘不过气来了 934 00:51:15,166 --> 00:51:17,666 ‪-爸? ‪-不过我就喜欢喘不过气来 935 00:51:17,666 --> 00:51:20,041 ‪随时欢迎你来吃我的圆面包! 936 00:51:20,041 --> 00:51:21,916 ‪神啊 救救我的未婚妻吧 937 00:51:21,916 --> 00:51:23,916 ‪她正从面包店后门走出 938 00:51:23,916 --> 00:51:25,958 ‪联邦调查局!不许动! 939 00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:27,375 ‪神会拯救你 帕克尔! 940 00:51:35,666 --> 00:51:40,041 ‪神啊 求你了! 941 00:51:47,541 --> 00:51:48,458 ‪妈的! 942 00:51:53,208 --> 00:51:56,958 ‪振作起来 罗杰!你行的 罗杰! ‪要有男子汉的样子 混蛋! 943 00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:08,166 ‪(红糖浆) 944 00:52:32,458 --> 00:52:33,791 ‪哎呀 真是的! 945 00:52:35,458 --> 00:52:36,291 ‪混蛋! 946 00:52:36,291 --> 00:52:39,458 ‪抓她上车!上车! 947 00:52:43,291 --> 00:52:44,625 ‪我去追她 948 00:52:44,625 --> 00:52:45,541 ‪什么鬼? 949 00:52:45,541 --> 00:52:47,083 ‪王八蛋! 950 00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:50,375 ‪这里他妈什么都是蛋糕! 951 00:52:51,166 --> 00:52:52,375 ‪我去追她! 952 00:52:52,375 --> 00:52:54,958 ‪你会送命的 趴下! 953 00:53:01,208 --> 00:53:03,166 ‪你真的气死我了! 954 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,166 ‪闭嘴! 955 00:53:11,666 --> 00:53:13,833 ‪莉利!莉利 前门! 956 00:53:13,833 --> 00:53:14,750 ‪走! 957 00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:22,750 ‪对准车打! 958 00:53:23,291 --> 00:53:24,958 ‪给我她妈弄钱! 959 00:53:26,083 --> 00:53:27,166 ‪妈的! 960 00:53:27,166 --> 00:53:29,208 ‪我他妈太爱这活儿了! 961 00:53:30,250 --> 00:53:31,583 ‪王八蛋! 962 00:53:31,583 --> 00:53:32,500 ‪不许动! 963 00:53:33,625 --> 00:53:34,458 ‪啊? 964 00:53:34,458 --> 00:53:35,875 ‪把枪放下 965 00:53:35,875 --> 00:53:37,000 ‪立刻放下 966 00:53:38,666 --> 00:53:40,500 ‪-他们抓了我们的女儿 ‪-别动 967 00:53:49,791 --> 00:53:51,375 ‪王八蛋! 968 00:53:53,083 --> 00:53:56,166 ‪你应该保护她的! 969 00:53:56,166 --> 00:53:58,583 ‪所以大家才不信任联邦政府! 970 00:53:58,583 --> 00:53:59,833 ‪这件事你要负责任 971 00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:02,625 ‪让我上车 哎 972 00:54:03,208 --> 00:54:04,625 ‪别走啊! 973 00:54:04,625 --> 00:54:05,916 ‪让我上车 好吗? 974 00:54:05,916 --> 00:54:07,208 ‪我豁出去了 975 00:54:22,333 --> 00:54:23,208 ‪怎么回事? 976 00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:27,791 ‪天呐! 977 00:54:28,625 --> 00:54:31,416 ‪来 下车 好 978 00:54:32,291 --> 00:54:34,583 ‪为什么停车?我们得去追她! 979 00:54:34,583 --> 00:54:36,458 ‪我知道那女人住在哪里 980 00:54:36,458 --> 00:54:39,625 ‪瑞涵到处都有房子 ‪根本不知道她把帕克尔带去了哪里 981 00:54:39,625 --> 00:54:41,666 ‪即便你知道 你又能怎么样? 982 00:54:41,666 --> 00:54:45,375 ‪偷偷钻进灌木丛 ‪然后被一群小狗追上树? 983 00:54:45,375 --> 00:54:47,500 ‪帕克尔已经不见了 984 00:54:48,208 --> 00:54:50,291 ‪-对不起 ‪-现在我们怎么办? 985 00:54:50,291 --> 00:54:53,416 ‪第一件事就是你把他妈密录器拆掉 986 00:54:53,416 --> 00:54:54,708 ‪你这小王八蛋 987 00:54:54,708 --> 00:54:57,541 ‪我早就知道你没胆子 ‪但没想到你居然会当内奸 988 00:54:57,541 --> 00:55:00,041 ‪对不起 但你们别把责任推到我身上 989 00:55:00,041 --> 00:55:01,541 ‪我们从没让你承担责任 990 00:55:01,541 --> 00:55:03,750 ‪没错!你们只是嫁祸给我罢了 991 00:55:03,750 --> 00:55:06,833 ‪你们把抢银行的证据 ‪放在我车的后备箱里! 992 00:55:08,291 --> 00:55:09,791 ‪他不可能被判有罪 993 00:55:09,791 --> 00:55:11,583 ‪最多就是让他忙活一阵 994 00:55:11,583 --> 00:55:14,750 ‪免得帕克尔犯下人生中最大的错误 995 00:55:15,333 --> 00:55:17,458 ‪她刚被绑架 996 00:55:17,458 --> 00:55:18,666 ‪就因为你们! 997 00:55:19,791 --> 00:55:23,208 ‪在你们回来之前 ‪帕克尔遇到最麻烦的事是什么? 998 00:55:23,708 --> 00:55:26,166 ‪被自制煎饼烫伤上颚 999 00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:29,291 ‪我原本可以把饼吹凉 但没办法 ‪我当时感冒了 1000 00:55:29,291 --> 00:55:34,000 ‪你们怎么可能知道 ‪她想要什么、需要什么? 1001 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,208 ‪你们根本不在! 1002 00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:38,125 ‪因为我们他妈是为了保护她! 1003 00:55:38,125 --> 00:55:39,625 ‪瑞涵以前是我们的拍档 1004 00:55:39,625 --> 00:55:41,958 ‪她负责挑选银行和洗钱 1005 00:55:41,958 --> 00:55:43,333 ‪然后她就开始发疯 1006 00:55:43,333 --> 00:55:46,041 ‪我们当时害怕她会知道帕克尔 1007 00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,750 ‪所以在干最后一票的时候 ‪我们就拿钱跑了 1008 00:55:48,750 --> 00:55:49,750 ‪不关我的事 1009 00:55:49,750 --> 00:55:51,416 ‪我不关心发生了什么 好吗? 1010 00:55:51,416 --> 00:55:52,958 ‪我只关心怎么把帕克尔救回来 1011 00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:54,583 ‪嗯 彼此彼此 1012 00:55:57,083 --> 00:55:58,625 ‪你们需要在两天内筹到500万 1013 00:55:59,208 --> 00:56:00,791 ‪所以要再抢一间银行 对吧? 1014 00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:04,708 ‪有一位银行经理加入团队不会有坏处 1015 00:56:06,375 --> 00:56:10,500 ‪知道银行的弱点 ‪哪些银行有超量现金 1016 00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:12,500 ‪什么时候把现金运去哪里 1017 00:56:13,041 --> 00:56:15,916 ‪他敲鸡蛋都紧张 ‪你觉得他能抢银行? 1018 00:56:15,916 --> 00:56:19,541 ‪为了救帕克尔 抢银行就抢银行! 1019 00:56:24,583 --> 00:56:26,625 ‪我们早就知道他们是罪犯 1020 00:56:26,625 --> 00:56:28,958 ‪他们大白天就喝酒 1021 00:56:28,958 --> 00:56:33,500 ‪嗯 而且女儿是瑜伽教练 1022 00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:35,041 ‪也不是我说什么 1023 00:56:35,041 --> 00:56:36,375 ‪但是要把这些连在一起看 1024 00:56:38,375 --> 00:56:40,250 ‪知道他们可能去哪里了吗? 1025 00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:45,041 ‪家里有没有小屋什么的? ‪欧文会不会去那里? 1026 00:56:45,041 --> 00:56:47,000 ‪度假屋... 1027 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,083 ‪度假屋?你开什么玩笑? 1028 00:56:49,791 --> 00:56:51,833 ‪我们像“杰佛逊一家”那种有钱人吗? 1029 00:56:54,791 --> 00:56:57,666 ‪这是160公里半径内所有银行的清单 1030 00:56:57,666 --> 00:57:02,041 ‪按行内现金存量排序 ‪从价值银行到现金最多的... 1031 00:57:02,041 --> 00:57:04,500 ‪阿特拉斯储备银行 2000万美元 1032 00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:05,833 ‪一站买齐 1033 00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:06,833 ‪简单 1034 00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:08,375 ‪简单倒好了 1035 00:57:08,375 --> 00:57:09,375 ‪-不简单? ‪-不简单 1036 00:57:09,375 --> 00:57:11,083 ‪我们不能抢阿特拉斯储备银行 1037 00:57:11,083 --> 00:57:13,541 ‪菲比·金把那里管得很严 1038 00:57:13,541 --> 00:57:14,708 ‪菲比·金是谁? 1039 00:57:14,708 --> 00:57:18,250 ‪你们不是幽灵强盗吗? ‪居然不知道菲比·金? 1040 00:57:18,958 --> 00:57:21,208 ‪她对“强盗屏障”进行创新 1041 00:57:22,791 --> 00:57:25,416 ‪她的银行的每一寸角落都有三层防护 1042 00:57:25,416 --> 00:57:26,833 ‪我都想上自己 1043 00:57:26,833 --> 00:57:28,083 ‪她的金库呢? 1044 00:57:28,083 --> 00:57:31,500 ‪生物特征识别 重量感应 1045 00:57:31,500 --> 00:57:35,583 ‪更不用说随机时间锁了 好吗? 1046 00:57:36,375 --> 00:57:37,541 ‪你什么时候做的这个? 1047 00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:40,166 ‪我朝自动售卖机走过去时 ‪买了一罐低糖汽水 1048 00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:42,041 ‪很奇怪 我口袋里有很多 1049 00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:43,208 ‪我多问一句 1050 00:57:43,208 --> 00:57:45,458 ‪我们不抢这家银行 ‪但你却做了一个模型? 1051 00:57:48,083 --> 00:57:49,666 ‪还有一个 他做了两个模型 1052 00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:51,625 ‪我做了12个 只有两个像样 1053 00:57:51,625 --> 00:57:53,375 ‪我们不抢菲比·金的银行 1054 00:57:53,375 --> 00:57:55,041 ‪抢胜利联合银行才对 1055 00:57:55,041 --> 00:57:57,000 ‪这家银行的经理很懒 1056 00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,125 ‪是个窝囊废 1057 00:57:59,666 --> 00:58:02,250 ‪文斯·米伦最好对付 1058 00:58:04,250 --> 00:58:05,750 ‪文斯右侧睾丸没了 1059 00:58:05,750 --> 00:58:08,875 ‪因为有一次 ‪他过于用力地坐在了自己的蛋蛋上 1060 00:58:10,416 --> 00:58:12,750 ‪聘他当经理 ‪只是因为他爸爸是银行老板 1061 00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:13,750 ‪好 1062 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:18,666 ‪最重要的是文斯喜欢走捷径 1063 00:58:18,666 --> 00:58:23,208 ‪出于安全及保险的目的 ‪联邦法规对分行现金存量有限制 1064 00:58:23,208 --> 00:58:24,750 ‪超过限额的时候 1065 00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:27,625 ‪经理必须安排从金库提取现金 1066 00:58:27,625 --> 00:58:29,458 ‪帮我锁一下 我要去打漆弹 1067 00:58:30,375 --> 00:58:34,541 ‪运钞车应当将现金直接运去存放点 1068 00:58:34,541 --> 00:58:36,666 ‪但是文斯讨厌文书工作 1069 00:58:38,083 --> 00:58:40,166 ‪所以他让同一辆运钞车 1070 00:58:40,166 --> 00:58:42,875 ‪从他管理的三间分行取现金 1071 00:58:42,875 --> 00:58:45,208 ‪然后再去存放点 1072 00:58:45,208 --> 00:58:48,958 ‪所以在运钞车从第三间分行取现金后 ‪抢运钞车... 1073 00:58:48,958 --> 00:58:50,833 ‪就等于一次抢三间银行 1074 00:58:51,750 --> 00:58:53,541 ‪-只要伪装好就行 ‪-嗯 1075 00:58:53,541 --> 00:58:54,708 ‪还有我需要一把枪 1076 00:58:56,083 --> 00:58:57,875 ‪啊?天呐! 1077 00:59:00,666 --> 00:59:02,500 ‪比我想象中轻很多 1078 00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:03,833 ‪嗯 这是水枪 1079 00:59:05,458 --> 00:59:06,583 ‪-是嘛? ‪-嗯 1080 00:59:07,666 --> 00:59:08,916 ‪我这样还是很酷吗? 1081 00:59:09,833 --> 00:59:11,875 ‪嗯 很像詹姆斯·邦德 1082 00:59:11,875 --> 00:59:13,000 ‪哪一位? 1083 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,083 ‪-第五集 ‪-那位确实不错 1084 00:59:15,083 --> 00:59:17,333 ‪(胜利联合银行) 1085 00:59:54,125 --> 00:59:56,208 ‪(布里奇斯装甲运输公司) 1086 01:00:11,291 --> 01:00:14,208 ‪所有人立刻趴下!别逞强! 1087 01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:21,000 ‪哎 驴子! 1088 01:00:23,833 --> 01:00:26,291 ‪天呐!好暴力啊! 1089 01:00:26,916 --> 01:00:29,458 ‪我的口音怎么样? ‪像爱尔兰口音还是苏格兰口音? 1090 01:00:29,458 --> 01:00:32,166 ‪应该是苏格兰口音才对 ‪不过我说得像是爱尔兰口音 1091 01:00:32,166 --> 01:00:33,208 ‪别告诉比利 1092 01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:35,250 ‪别分心!现在是抢银行 1093 01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:38,708 ‪记住 你是老大 1094 01:00:42,166 --> 01:00:44,208 ‪没错 我是老大 好吗? 1095 01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:45,958 ‪谁都别逞英雄 1096 01:00:47,166 --> 01:00:49,000 ‪否则我他妈崩了你! 1097 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:50,916 ‪给你吃枪子儿! 1098 01:01:03,250 --> 01:01:05,000 ‪大家都趴着 好吗? 1099 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,791 ‪你们喜欢《怪物史莱克》吗? ‪最喜欢哪个角色? 1100 01:01:07,791 --> 01:01:09,000 ‪我最喜欢史莱克 1101 01:01:10,666 --> 01:01:13,041 ‪你干什么?别起来! 1102 01:01:13,041 --> 01:01:16,208 ‪好吧 你起来了 ‪但是待在原地 好吗? 1103 01:01:16,208 --> 01:01:20,083 ‪别过来 别冲过来! 1104 01:01:24,833 --> 01:01:26,000 ‪小菜一碟 1105 01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:44,375 ‪什么鬼? 1106 01:01:47,291 --> 01:01:48,583 ‪不许动! 1107 01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:51,083 ‪慢点 小子 有我在 1108 01:01:55,708 --> 01:01:57,666 ‪把枪放下 1109 01:01:57,666 --> 01:01:59,000 ‪很好 1110 01:02:12,875 --> 01:02:14,625 ‪莉利!我这里没问题 你拿钱! 1111 01:02:48,875 --> 01:02:51,583 ‪快点啊 小子 你他妈去哪儿了? 1112 01:03:07,416 --> 01:03:08,750 ‪时间差不多了 史莱克 1113 01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:12,416 ‪不好意思 有个大个儿长得像 ‪《海洋奇缘》里的巨石强森 1114 01:03:12,416 --> 01:03:14,791 ‪他突然心脏病发 ‪所以我只能给他做心肺复苏 1115 01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:17,458 ‪-你们这边抢得怎么样? ‪-三对二 朋友们 1116 01:03:17,458 --> 01:03:18,875 ‪-放下枪 ‪-我们怎么办? 1117 01:03:18,875 --> 01:03:20,625 ‪-我不知道 ‪-你们放下枪 1118 01:03:26,791 --> 01:03:29,916 ‪能不能快点?快点 好吗? 1119 01:03:29,916 --> 01:03:32,291 ‪好 放下枪 1120 01:03:33,416 --> 01:03:34,583 ‪慢一点 1121 01:03:38,166 --> 01:03:39,458 ‪搞什么鬼? 1122 01:03:40,750 --> 01:03:42,333 ‪-妈的! ‪-王八蛋! 1123 01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:46,916 ‪啊! 1124 01:03:50,833 --> 01:03:52,166 ‪这小子真是笨 1125 01:03:56,458 --> 01:03:57,958 ‪妈的 我们跑路的车完了 1126 01:03:57,958 --> 01:03:58,916 ‪冷静 1127 01:04:11,208 --> 01:04:12,041 ‪上车! 1128 01:04:12,041 --> 01:04:13,666 ‪上! 1129 01:04:14,875 --> 01:04:16,916 ‪好!我们成功了! 1130 01:04:16,916 --> 01:04:18,166 ‪闭嘴开车! 1131 01:04:18,166 --> 01:04:19,666 ‪好的 嗯 出发 1132 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,500 ‪我一直想当校车司机 1133 01:04:33,666 --> 01:04:36,416 ‪钱! 1134 01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:39,500 ‪不是吧! 1135 01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,958 ‪-不妙! ‪-我饶不了你 史莱克! 1136 01:04:48,875 --> 01:04:50,625 ‪不是把警察经费削减了吗? 1137 01:05:04,125 --> 01:05:05,041 ‪对不起! 1138 01:05:05,041 --> 01:05:06,541 ‪嗯 这回把他们气坏了 1139 01:05:06,541 --> 01:05:08,000 ‪(奥克雷警察局) 1140 01:05:13,166 --> 01:05:14,291 ‪神啊! 1141 01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:22,000 ‪他会没事的 没事的 1142 01:05:31,583 --> 01:05:33,666 ‪他要开去他妈哪里啊? 1143 01:05:42,250 --> 01:05:43,375 ‪啊! 1144 01:05:48,750 --> 01:05:51,041 ‪愿主宽恕我们 马利亚和若瑟! 1145 01:05:59,833 --> 01:06:03,041 ‪...走向你的光 此刻我们心中悼念... 1146 01:06:08,041 --> 01:06:09,416 ‪进了! 1147 01:06:10,083 --> 01:06:11,833 ‪你真是不知廉耻! 1148 01:06:27,958 --> 01:06:30,416 ‪没错 我曾祖母就埋在这里 1149 01:06:30,416 --> 01:06:32,375 ‪你他妈闭嘴! 1150 01:06:32,375 --> 01:06:33,375 ‪好吧 1151 01:06:34,583 --> 01:06:35,833 ‪妈的! 1152 01:06:37,625 --> 01:06:39,291 ‪为什么? 1153 01:06:44,291 --> 01:06:45,250 ‪妈的! 1154 01:06:45,250 --> 01:06:47,583 ‪-神啊! ‪-什么情况? 1155 01:06:47,583 --> 01:06:51,250 ‪我的酸奶棒!零食时间到! ‪得避免低血糖! 1156 01:06:51,250 --> 01:06:53,208 ‪-给我 ‪-你要选一种口味吗? 1157 01:06:53,208 --> 01:06:55,458 ‪-他妈的酸奶棒! ‪-时间刚合适! 1158 01:06:56,583 --> 01:06:57,875 ‪妈的! 1159 01:07:07,541 --> 01:07:08,708 ‪妈的! 1160 01:07:13,916 --> 01:07:15,208 ‪抢到了多少? 1161 01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:19,458 ‪60美元 1162 01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,083 ‪60美元 1163 01:07:23,083 --> 01:07:25,583 ‪好的 积少成多嘛 1164 01:07:42,583 --> 01:07:44,625 ‪不好意思 这他妈是干嘛? 1165 01:07:45,708 --> 01:07:47,958 ‪你不认识他?他是巴巴扬 1166 01:07:47,958 --> 01:07:52,000 ‪他相当于前苏联的坎耶 1167 01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,041 ‪坎耶来了? 1168 01:07:53,041 --> 01:07:55,458 ‪闭嘴跳舞! 1169 01:07:57,666 --> 01:07:59,833 ‪我爸妈抢银行吗? 1170 01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:01,458 ‪我有魔力小穴吗? 1171 01:08:02,125 --> 01:08:03,541 ‪答案都是肯定的 1172 01:08:03,541 --> 01:08:07,166 ‪你父母是杰出的银行抢劫犯 1173 01:08:07,166 --> 01:08:11,375 ‪他们失踪的时候 我感到了背叛 1174 01:08:13,125 --> 01:08:14,291 ‪想跑? 1175 01:08:16,125 --> 01:08:17,458 ‪笨女人 1176 01:08:17,458 --> 01:08:18,958 ‪仔细看 1177 01:08:18,958 --> 01:08:22,291 ‪巴巴扬的表演即将进入最后的高潮 1178 01:08:23,750 --> 01:08:27,916 ‪好哎 巴巴扬! 1179 01:08:37,458 --> 01:08:39,250 ‪我好像把手机落在里面了 1180 01:08:39,250 --> 01:08:41,458 ‪好吧 看来没办法叫优步了 1181 01:08:42,666 --> 01:08:44,166 ‪心肺复苏? 1182 01:08:44,166 --> 01:08:48,000 ‪你抢到一半给别人做心肺复苏? 1183 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,000 ‪-我接受的训练就是这样的 ‪-你这笨蛋! 1184 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:55,125 ‪好吧 别这样了! ‪我们还剩不到24小时去弄钱 1185 01:08:55,125 --> 01:08:56,458 ‪别想钱的事了 1186 01:08:56,458 --> 01:08:58,416 ‪我们得先救帕克尔 1187 01:08:58,416 --> 01:08:59,708 ‪然后离开这个国家 1188 01:08:59,708 --> 01:09:02,125 ‪我们这次不跑 1189 01:09:02,125 --> 01:09:04,458 ‪帕克尔在这里已经有了自己的生活 1190 01:09:04,458 --> 01:09:07,750 ‪-这样对她最好! ‪-不 这样对我们最好 1191 01:09:11,666 --> 01:09:12,875 ‪我有一个办法 1192 01:09:15,625 --> 01:09:17,083 ‪我们可以抢阿特拉斯储备银行 1193 01:09:17,083 --> 01:09:20,791 ‪不是说“千万别抢菲比·金”吗? 1194 01:09:21,750 --> 01:09:24,625 ‪三个臭皮匠 顶个诸葛亮 1195 01:09:25,583 --> 01:09:27,750 ‪我也说不好 ‪不过我知道有一个办法可以进去 1196 01:09:27,750 --> 01:09:30,875 ‪只是不知道警察来了之后 ‪我们怎么逃走 1197 01:09:30,875 --> 01:09:33,458 ‪也许我们可以找人帮忙 1198 01:09:36,458 --> 01:09:38,166 ‪倒数三下喊“幽灵强盗” 1199 01:09:38,166 --> 01:09:39,083 ‪三... 1200 01:09:40,916 --> 01:09:42,416 ‪好吧 喊的话其实会很酷 1201 01:09:42,416 --> 01:09:43,416 ‪你们等我一下! 1202 01:09:43,416 --> 01:09:48,958 ‪今天早些时候 ‪一名男子打扮成著名动画角色史莱克 1203 01:09:48,958 --> 01:09:51,708 ‪企图抢劫胜利联合银行 1204 01:09:51,708 --> 01:09:53,625 ‪但他稍后就发现这并不容易... 1205 01:09:53,625 --> 01:09:56,000 ‪这百分百是欧文穿着史莱克的服装 1206 01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,125 ‪我一眼就能认出他的大屁股 1207 01:09:58,125 --> 01:10:00,125 ‪-不是 ‪-不是 1208 01:10:00,125 --> 01:10:01,375 ‪妈的 他疯了! 1209 01:10:01,375 --> 01:10:03,041 ‪他怎么会上电视? 1210 01:10:03,041 --> 01:10:04,625 ‪我再打给他 1211 01:10:06,916 --> 01:10:08,541 ‪-喂? ‪-我是比利 1212 01:10:08,541 --> 01:10:10,166 ‪噢 是比利 1213 01:10:10,166 --> 01:10:11,708 ‪-好的... ‪-你给我听好了 1214 01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:14,541 ‪你要是敢碰我儿子一根腰毛 ‪我向神起誓... 1215 01:10:14,541 --> 01:10:17,458 ‪闭嘴听好了 我不会碰你儿子的腰毛 1216 01:10:17,458 --> 01:10:19,541 ‪但我确实会利用他去抢一间银行 1217 01:10:19,541 --> 01:10:21,416 ‪如果你们不想看着他进监狱 1218 01:10:21,416 --> 01:10:23,166 ‪我们需要人开车帮我们逃跑 1219 01:10:23,166 --> 01:10:26,708 ‪等等 你要我们开车帮你们逃跑? 1220 01:10:26,708 --> 01:10:29,333 ‪明天上午10点到欧文的银行 1221 01:10:29,333 --> 01:10:31,375 ‪发动机不要熄火 1222 01:10:31,375 --> 01:10:32,875 ‪我来说! 1223 01:10:32,875 --> 01:10:35,583 ‪妈?爸?我好害怕! 1224 01:10:35,583 --> 01:10:37,958 ‪求你们了 如果你们还爱我 1225 01:10:37,958 --> 01:10:40,791 ‪不要告诉联邦调查局的奥德姆探员 1226 01:10:40,791 --> 01:10:42,625 ‪亲爱的 我发誓! 1227 01:10:42,625 --> 01:10:44,416 ‪我们不会告诉任何人! 1228 01:10:44,916 --> 01:10:46,041 ‪绝对不会! 1229 01:10:50,375 --> 01:10:52,750 ‪-他们说几点? ‪-上午10点 1230 01:10:55,583 --> 01:10:57,333 ‪为什么你们的钟显示8点 1231 01:10:58,166 --> 01:11:01,375 ‪我去菲尼克斯出过一次差 ‪后来就没改回来 1232 01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:04,166 ‪不对劲 1233 01:11:08,166 --> 01:11:10,625 ‪(阿特拉斯储备银行) 1234 01:11:11,166 --> 01:11:13,166 ‪很好 风平浪静 1235 01:11:13,916 --> 01:11:16,333 ‪跟你们说了他们不会当从犯 1236 01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:18,333 ‪欧文 你最好拿好这个 1237 01:11:21,583 --> 01:11:22,416 ‪很重嘛 1238 01:11:22,416 --> 01:11:24,833 ‪里面装的不是自来水 是实弹 1239 01:11:24,833 --> 01:11:27,208 ‪在任何情况下都不要... 1240 01:11:27,208 --> 01:11:28,250 ‪神啊! 1241 01:11:28,250 --> 01:11:30,208 ‪不要扣扳机 1242 01:11:33,833 --> 01:11:36,250 ‪好的 好戏开始 1243 01:11:37,416 --> 01:11:38,791 ‪等我的信号 1244 01:11:42,416 --> 01:11:45,500 ‪我们犯了多少可怕的错误 1245 01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:47,250 ‪才走到今天这一步啊? 1246 01:11:47,250 --> 01:11:50,291 ‪都是拜这小笨蛋所赐 1247 01:11:52,291 --> 01:11:53,416 ‪我们完蛋了 1248 01:11:53,416 --> 01:11:58,458 ‪这小笨蛋现在要为我们的女儿 ‪去抢第二间银行 1249 01:11:59,000 --> 01:11:59,833 ‪我喜欢他 1250 01:12:03,208 --> 01:12:05,333 ‪对不起 但我真的不行 1251 01:12:05,333 --> 01:12:09,416 ‪我的银行被抢 ‪我却什么都没做 我太烂了! 1252 01:12:09,416 --> 01:12:11,208 ‪烂透了! 1253 01:12:11,208 --> 01:12:12,666 ‪首先别哭了 1254 01:12:13,333 --> 01:12:15,500 ‪听到小孩哭 我就会分泌乳汁 1255 01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:17,875 ‪不能再毁一件衣服了 1256 01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:19,333 ‪听我说 我需要你帮忙 1257 01:12:20,083 --> 01:12:21,333 ‪能不能让我看看你的金库 1258 01:12:21,333 --> 01:12:23,333 ‪了解一下 ‪真正的保安系统是什么样的? 1259 01:12:23,333 --> 01:12:25,958 ‪-你想到我的金库里面看? ‪-对 1260 01:12:25,958 --> 01:12:29,083 ‪还记得我跟说的话吗? ‪烤熟的火鸡都能闯进你的金库 1261 01:12:29,666 --> 01:12:31,375 ‪-记得 ‪-叫一声 1262 01:12:32,583 --> 01:12:35,125 ‪我叫的话 你就让我进去看? 1263 01:12:35,125 --> 01:12:37,291 ‪叫啊!快! 1264 01:12:39,833 --> 01:12:40,833 ‪用喉咙发出声音 1265 01:12:42,083 --> 01:12:44,458 ‪大声一点 这就对了 1266 01:12:50,458 --> 01:12:51,291 ‪我们走吧 1267 01:12:59,416 --> 01:13:00,583 ‪体力活儿啊 1268 01:13:00,583 --> 01:13:02,041 ‪嗯 喜欢吧? 1269 01:13:03,166 --> 01:13:04,083 ‪这是假的! 1270 01:13:04,083 --> 01:13:07,125 ‪我可不会用你那种烂系统 1271 01:13:07,708 --> 01:13:11,708 ‪“在前面转一圈就锁住” 1272 01:13:11,708 --> 01:13:12,791 ‪笨! 1273 01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:16,000 ‪-别看 ‪-好的 1274 01:13:19,583 --> 01:13:22,166 ‪最后几个数字是无关的 ‪我就是这样自慰的 1275 01:13:27,583 --> 01:13:28,916 ‪好爽 1276 01:13:41,625 --> 01:13:43,083 ‪菲比·金 1277 01:13:43,916 --> 01:13:45,208 ‪这才叫本事 笨蛋 1278 01:13:49,458 --> 01:13:50,416 ‪这是... 1279 01:13:50,416 --> 01:13:54,583 ‪数字锁、人工锁、密码锁 ‪三层强化钛合金门 1280 01:13:57,250 --> 01:13:58,250 ‪你懂个屁 1281 01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:01,000 ‪别跟我说什么时候才能休息 1282 01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:03,375 ‪我他妈想休息就休息 1283 01:14:03,375 --> 01:14:06,208 ‪妈的!我不管是不是... 1284 01:14:08,083 --> 01:14:11,625 ‪那是欧文的父母?他们来银行干嘛? 1285 01:14:11,625 --> 01:14:14,541 ‪布朗宁先生和太太!有什么事吗? 1286 01:14:15,041 --> 01:14:16,000 ‪你们还好吗? 1287 01:14:16,500 --> 01:14:19,416 ‪怎么这个表情?僵硬又多疑的样子 1288 01:14:19,416 --> 01:14:22,708 ‪像雕塑一样一动不动 ‪像是在蜡像馆似的 1289 01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:27,041 ‪-哎 你们后排有一个警察? ‪-我不是警察 1290 01:14:27,041 --> 01:14:30,500 ‪我是探员 能不能麻烦你小声一点? 1291 01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:33,583 ‪首先 两者有什么他妈区别? ‪这里不归你管 1292 01:14:33,583 --> 01:14:35,833 ‪-这里不属于你的管辖范围 1293 01:14:35,833 --> 01:14:37,500 ‪-泰瑞! ‪-干嘛? 1294 01:14:37,500 --> 01:14:38,708 ‪别跟别人说 1295 01:14:38,708 --> 01:14:40,583 ‪你们银行马上就要被抢了 1296 01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:43,541 ‪什么叫别跟别人说? ‪又要抢我们银行? 1297 01:14:43,541 --> 01:14:45,083 ‪搞什么鬼啊? 1298 01:14:45,083 --> 01:14:48,125 ‪妈的!我还有东西放在微波炉里呢! 1299 01:14:48,125 --> 01:14:50,166 ‪操!我还没拿午饭! 1300 01:14:50,166 --> 01:14:52,541 ‪别嘘我!真他妈的 我不干了 1301 01:14:53,208 --> 01:14:56,125 ‪-操!搞什么... ‪-你为什么要说啊? 1302 01:14:56,125 --> 01:14:58,708 ‪我跟你们说了什么都别说 1303 01:14:58,708 --> 01:15:00,041 ‪这工作太他妈烂了! 1304 01:15:00,041 --> 01:15:02,666 ‪欧文也让你们什么都别说 1305 01:15:05,083 --> 01:15:08,208 ‪我们中计了! ‪他们要抢的不是这间银行! 1306 01:15:11,416 --> 01:15:14,083 ‪-下车 我来开! ‪-不可能 1307 01:15:14,083 --> 01:15:17,208 ‪我花了好多年 ‪才把座椅调到我喜欢的准确位置 1308 01:15:17,208 --> 01:15:18,458 ‪真是的! 1309 01:15:20,208 --> 01:15:21,583 ‪真他妈的! 1310 01:15:22,375 --> 01:15:24,833 ‪-去哪里? ‪-阿特拉斯储备银行 他们饥不择食了 1311 01:15:26,041 --> 01:15:27,541 ‪快点! 1312 01:15:30,875 --> 01:15:32,333 ‪麻烦稍微快点 好吗? 1313 01:15:36,875 --> 01:15:38,583 ‪精彩的来了 1314 01:15:39,416 --> 01:15:42,083 ‪同步人工锁 1315 01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:47,916 ‪嗯 1316 01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:57,000 ‪这信号有点张扬 1317 01:15:59,583 --> 01:16:01,250 ‪真是的 欧文 收到信号了 1318 01:16:01,250 --> 01:16:02,541 ‪他妈别按了! 1319 01:16:02,541 --> 01:16:06,000 ‪如果这小子活着出来 我弄死他 ‪真他妈的! 1320 01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:09,875 ‪三 二 一 然后松开 1321 01:16:30,083 --> 01:16:31,083 ‪拉 1322 01:16:42,791 --> 01:16:46,333 ‪抢劫!所有人立刻趴在地上! 1323 01:16:46,958 --> 01:16:48,291 ‪搞什么鬼? 1324 01:16:48,791 --> 01:16:50,250 ‪对不起 我胆子小 1325 01:16:50,250 --> 01:16:51,958 ‪我管理银行水平很烂 1326 01:16:51,958 --> 01:16:54,708 ‪我居然成功了 1327 01:16:54,708 --> 01:16:56,750 ‪欧文 你真他妈胆小鬼! 1328 01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,833 ‪好极了 现在我在分泌乳汁了 1329 01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,625 ‪太好了! 1330 01:17:15,541 --> 01:17:17,125 ‪趴下! 1331 01:17:20,875 --> 01:17:22,083 ‪我来救你了 帕克尔 1332 01:17:25,500 --> 01:17:27,500 ‪这倒没想到 1333 01:17:36,291 --> 01:17:37,458 ‪天呐! 1334 01:17:39,833 --> 01:17:40,875 ‪天呐! 1335 01:17:43,666 --> 01:17:45,750 ‪来 美女 出去 1336 01:17:45,750 --> 01:17:49,208 ‪各单位注意 ‪阿特拉斯储备银行正发生劫案 1337 01:17:49,208 --> 01:17:53,000 ‪-我就知道 快点开 尼尔 ‪-我用脑子开车 不开快车 1338 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:54,750 ‪-至少开到限速吧! ‪-亲爱的 快点 1339 01:17:54,750 --> 01:17:56,833 ‪事关你儿子的性命! 1340 01:17:56,833 --> 01:17:58,833 ‪-快点 ‪-好 来了! 1341 01:17:58,833 --> 01:18:00,291 ‪是你允许的 1342 01:18:08,416 --> 01:18:11,500 ‪你现在有点让我想起了丹·马里诺 1343 01:18:12,041 --> 01:18:12,875 ‪丹·马里诺? 1344 01:18:13,833 --> 01:18:15,625 ‪我在性派对上见过他一次 1345 01:18:16,375 --> 01:18:17,625 ‪他可不只是手臂粗 1346 01:18:18,708 --> 01:18:19,750 ‪我不知道 1347 01:18:20,333 --> 01:18:21,291 ‪我当时在车里等 1348 01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:27,541 ‪好的 紧急逃生开关 每一个金库都有 1349 01:18:31,416 --> 01:18:33,083 ‪盖瑞怎么会每次都找不到? 1350 01:18:45,708 --> 01:18:46,666 ‪哎 老表 1351 01:18:46,666 --> 01:18:49,250 ‪是不是有人 ‪预约了一位抢银行逃跑司机? 1352 01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:52,416 ‪哎!你好啊! 1353 01:18:52,416 --> 01:18:54,125 ‪-抢劫顺利吗? ‪-闭嘴! 1354 01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:57,875 ‪哎 后面有吗啡 要不要来点? 1355 01:18:57,875 --> 01:19:00,166 ‪-出发 快 ‪-好 出发! 1356 01:19:00,166 --> 01:19:02,083 ‪-开车! ‪-好吧 没问题 1357 01:19:20,083 --> 01:19:22,791 ‪-那是他们吗? ‪-到后排 我来开! 1358 01:19:22,791 --> 01:19:26,250 ‪我坐后排会晕车 ‪玛吉 你到后排 好吗? 1359 01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:28,625 ‪我不想坐后排 后排一股鸡蛋味 1360 01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:30,000 ‪快点啊! 1361 01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:31,750 ‪-好吧! ‪-好吧 我过去 1362 01:19:31,750 --> 01:19:34,666 ‪-好吧 ‪-换座位 好的 1363 01:19:34,666 --> 01:19:37,708 ‪下车绕过去更快啊 1364 01:19:37,708 --> 01:19:39,416 ‪不 这样比较方便 1365 01:19:39,416 --> 01:19:42,333 ‪-不要这样! ‪-我在过去了 回不了头了 1366 01:19:42,333 --> 01:19:45,875 ‪好吧 各单位 嫌犯在向北逃窜 1367 01:19:45,875 --> 01:19:47,833 ‪好的 快点 出发! 1368 01:19:49,833 --> 01:19:51,416 ‪天呐! 1369 01:19:57,958 --> 01:20:00,333 ‪这是我第一次见到你有魅力的样子 1370 01:20:00,333 --> 01:20:04,416 ‪我当年想着等你爸最终回心转意 ‪我就要穿这条裙子 1371 01:20:04,416 --> 01:20:07,375 ‪性感而有品位 1372 01:20:07,875 --> 01:20:09,833 ‪我这样子就像赢了彩票的粉鬼 1373 01:20:09,833 --> 01:20:12,708 ‪要在邮轮赌场里嫁给机关枪凯利 1374 01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:15,083 ‪我很喜欢机关枪凯利 1375 01:20:15,083 --> 01:20:17,708 ‪他有小鸡鸡的感觉 1376 01:20:18,916 --> 01:20:21,375 ‪哎 现金送到 1377 01:20:22,708 --> 01:20:23,541 ‪妈的! 1378 01:20:23,541 --> 01:20:24,875 ‪终于来了 1379 01:20:24,875 --> 01:20:27,041 ‪选的车辆倒很有意思 1380 01:20:28,958 --> 01:20:30,750 ‪别忘记给我五分好评 1381 01:20:31,958 --> 01:20:32,791 ‪优步 1382 01:20:45,666 --> 01:20:46,500 ‪没事的 1383 01:20:50,250 --> 01:20:53,333 ‪都在这里了 500万美元 1384 01:20:55,791 --> 01:20:57,125 ‪比利和莉利在哪里? 1385 01:20:57,125 --> 01:20:58,875 ‪他们在吸引警察的注意力 1386 01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:06,958 ‪妈的 这不是调音量 不好意思! ‪是我没弄好 1387 01:21:07,625 --> 01:21:11,708 ‪帕克尔!你好啊 我是阿杰 ‪记得罗伊铁板烧吗? 1388 01:21:13,500 --> 01:21:14,541 ‪欧文 1389 01:21:15,291 --> 01:21:16,291 ‪你干成了 1390 01:21:16,291 --> 01:21:19,125 ‪厉害啊!非常好! 1391 01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:20,875 ‪看吧 1392 01:21:20,875 --> 01:21:24,291 ‪欠我的债还清了 你可以走了 1393 01:21:24,833 --> 01:21:28,375 ‪要不五五分账吧 就当是结婚红包 1394 01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:30,750 ‪我开玩笑的 1395 01:21:30,750 --> 01:21:32,416 ‪我会把你们俩都干掉 1396 01:21:32,416 --> 01:21:34,500 ‪不行!不许动 好吧? 1397 01:21:34,500 --> 01:21:36,083 ‪站在原地 1398 01:21:36,916 --> 01:21:37,916 ‪你们栽我手里了! 1399 01:21:38,666 --> 01:21:39,500 ‪让她走 1400 01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:42,500 ‪欧文 你真好 把枪放下 小朋友 1401 01:21:42,500 --> 01:21:44,375 ‪你他妈知道自己在干什么吗? 1402 01:21:45,958 --> 01:21:48,291 ‪他们又他妈给了我一把水枪? 1403 01:21:53,750 --> 01:21:56,375 ‪-啊! ‪-真他妈的! 1404 01:21:56,375 --> 01:21:59,958 ‪哎!我老表是冷血杀人犯! 1405 01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:02,916 ‪天呐!帕克尔! 1406 01:22:02,916 --> 01:22:05,208 ‪-你没事吧? ‪-帕克尔!天呐! 1407 01:22:05,208 --> 01:22:07,166 ‪啊 帕克尔!你没事吧? 1408 01:22:07,166 --> 01:22:08,500 ‪-嗯 ‪-天呐! 1409 01:22:11,916 --> 01:22:12,875 ‪你好美! 1410 01:22:18,750 --> 01:22:20,875 ‪-天呐!怎么回事? ‪-我不知道 1411 01:22:20,875 --> 01:22:23,333 ‪我的汗流到枪上 所以以为是水枪 1412 01:22:23,333 --> 01:22:24,833 ‪其实确实真枪实弹 1413 01:22:24,833 --> 01:22:25,958 ‪-啊? ‪-什么鬼? 1414 01:22:25,958 --> 01:22:29,041 ‪你们是银行劫匪?瞒了我一辈子? 1415 01:22:29,041 --> 01:22:32,250 ‪我们是想保护你 宝贝 ‪所以才不来看你 1416 01:22:32,250 --> 01:22:35,000 ‪-我们是为了你的安全 ‪-那欧文呢? 1417 01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:37,333 ‪你们把他拉下了水 ‪要是他送了命怎么办? 1418 01:22:37,333 --> 01:22:40,666 ‪-他可是拉都拉不住啊 ‪-真的? 1419 01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:44,625 ‪对我来说 你是全世界最重要的人 1420 01:22:47,333 --> 01:22:51,041 ‪他确实很厉害 表现得很好 1421 01:22:51,041 --> 01:22:54,125 ‪我开始喜欢你了 1422 01:22:54,125 --> 01:22:55,208 ‪你做得很好 1423 01:22:56,125 --> 01:22:57,125 ‪来吧 1424 01:22:58,375 --> 01:23:00,583 ‪别这样 把手放下 1425 01:23:00,583 --> 01:23:02,125 ‪-我们是一家人 ‪-啊? 1426 01:23:04,750 --> 01:23:06,666 ‪-我之前可没用舌头 ‪-我用了 1427 01:23:07,166 --> 01:23:08,416 ‪好戏时间到 1428 01:23:08,416 --> 01:23:10,958 ‪城里所有的警察都被我们引过来了 ‪赶紧走 1429 01:23:10,958 --> 01:23:13,208 ‪大婚之日可不能进监房 1430 01:23:13,208 --> 01:23:14,708 ‪-快走吧 ‪-我爱你 1431 01:23:15,250 --> 01:23:16,291 ‪快点!出发! 1432 01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:29,375 ‪比利和莉利·麦克德莫特 ‪我终于抓到你们了 1433 01:23:54,375 --> 01:23:55,708 ‪危险解除了吗? 1434 01:23:56,291 --> 01:23:57,708 ‪天啊!你太烂了! 1435 01:24:06,791 --> 01:24:09,875 ‪-快点 艾达 ‪-我在加快速度 1436 01:24:10,416 --> 01:24:13,375 ‪我从事银行安全工作很多年了 1437 01:24:13,375 --> 01:24:16,833 ‪大家没有意识到预防最重要 ‪要随时保持警觉 1438 01:24:16,833 --> 01:24:19,125 ‪我就是这样做的 ‪银行里的一切 我都洞若观火 1439 01:24:19,125 --> 01:24:21,625 ‪要是有人抢银行 就是我的责任 宝贝 1440 01:24:22,125 --> 01:24:24,291 ‪不过我找了一份新工作 ‪因为我辞职了 1441 01:24:30,458 --> 01:24:31,375 ‪他上当了! 1442 01:24:34,958 --> 01:24:38,375 ‪-她过敏了! ‪-这勺子含镍吗? 1443 01:24:38,375 --> 01:24:40,750 ‪-可能漏了一个进来 ‪-她没事的 1444 01:24:40,750 --> 01:24:42,916 ‪没事 大家别急 有我在! 1445 01:24:45,083 --> 01:24:48,625 ‪嗯 我不是英雄 只是急救员罢了 1446 01:24:49,833 --> 01:24:51,916 ‪妈的!这没用 1447 01:24:51,916 --> 01:24:53,500 ‪不过你已接种! 1448 01:24:54,083 --> 01:24:56,000 ‪-我马上回来 ‪-琳达阿姨... 1449 01:25:01,583 --> 01:25:02,916 ‪夫君 1450 01:25:03,500 --> 01:25:04,541 ‪什么事 夫人? 1451 01:25:05,125 --> 01:25:06,000 ‪谢谢你 1452 01:25:06,833 --> 01:25:08,458 ‪谢谢你所做的一切 1453 01:25:09,208 --> 01:25:10,875 ‪这一周真是忙坏了 1454 01:25:12,375 --> 01:25:13,291 ‪不客气 1455 01:25:17,125 --> 01:25:18,875 ‪-我爱你 ‪-我爱你 1456 01:25:18,875 --> 01:25:21,500 ‪女士们 先生们 1457 01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:24,833 ‪大家欢迎新人登场! 1458 01:25:24,833 --> 01:25:30,416 ‪欧文和帕克尔·布朗宁! 1459 01:25:35,208 --> 01:25:36,375 ‪你好帅气 1460 01:25:42,958 --> 01:25:44,083 ‪你们怎么来了? 1461 01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:48,916 ‪蹲监狱这种小事 ‪怎么能妨碍女儿的婚礼呢? 1462 01:25:48,916 --> 01:25:50,208 ‪你们越狱了? 1463 01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:54,708 ‪他们可以跳一支舞 吃一块蛋糕 1464 01:25:55,291 --> 01:25:56,458 ‪我们谈好的 1465 01:25:56,458 --> 01:26:00,000 ‪我们认罪并帮他找一个老朋友 1466 01:26:00,500 --> 01:26:02,458 ‪-等等 这是雪儿? ‪-对 1467 01:26:04,291 --> 01:26:05,125 ‪可否赏光? 1468 01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:06,416 ‪乐意之至 1469 01:26:07,458 --> 01:26:10,625 ‪来吧 宝贝 到妈妈这里来 ‪让他们看看怎么跳 1470 01:26:10,625 --> 01:26:11,541 ‪好的 女士 1471 01:26:11,541 --> 01:26:12,958 ‪我为他们高兴 1472 01:26:12,958 --> 01:26:13,875 ‪我也是 1473 01:26:14,750 --> 01:26:16,083 ‪-可惜要蹲监狱 ‪-好吧 1474 01:26:16,083 --> 01:26:18,541 ‪不过他们能来真是有心了 1475 01:26:37,250 --> 01:26:38,083 ‪等一下 1476 01:26:39,541 --> 01:26:43,083 ‪好!大家今晚都要怀孕! 1477 01:26:58,625 --> 01:27:00,833 ‪他们前两天抢了我们银行 1478 01:27:00,833 --> 01:27:04,000 ‪用枪指着我 好他妈离谱 1479 01:27:17,083 --> 01:27:20,041 ‪这一块是我专门给你拿的 1480 01:27:21,083 --> 01:27:23,333 ‪太感谢了 欧文 1481 01:27:23,833 --> 01:27:25,291 ‪别把牙崩了 1482 01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:28,166 ‪好小子 1483 01:27:28,750 --> 01:27:30,166 ‪因为里面有东西 1484 01:27:30,166 --> 01:27:32,291 ‪-我们明白 没事 ‪-好的 1485 01:27:32,291 --> 01:27:34,083 ‪-一个回形针 ‪-好的 1486 01:27:34,083 --> 01:27:36,666 ‪-我把车钥匙留在跑车里了 ‪-闭嘴 1487 01:27:36,666 --> 01:27:38,875 ‪-知道了 ‪-好的 好好玩 1488 01:27:38,875 --> 01:27:40,041 ‪吃一口 1489 01:27:44,458 --> 01:27:45,458 ‪好戏开始 1490 01:35:15,208 --> 01:35:20,208 ‪字幕翻译:朱音