- I'm not interested in you. - Same.
- I'm not attracted to you.
I'm in love with your friend, and I don't even wanna be that.
- TOM: Previously on "Bruh"--
- Mike, apologize. - You trying to be with her?
- Mike, you disrespected her. Mike. Mike.
- I just wanted you to be honest.
You were into me, say that.
And if you weren't, then you could've said that too.
I just wanted the truth.
- Maybe you're right.
- ♪
- The fuck who's--who's there?
- REGINA: It's me. - Regina?
- Mm-hmm, I'm mad at you. - I know.
- No, like mad mad.
- Oh, oh, yeah, I know.
- Yeah, so I'm thinking--
- You wanna--you wanna talk?
- No, I don't wanna talk.
- So you don't wanna talk?
- ♪
- I wanna talk about this.
- ♪
- Okay, we can talk about that and them.
- Yeah. Let's talk about fucking.
- ♪ I don't need no friends, tossed 'em ♪
♪ Ol' boy got my nose running, yeah ♪
I'm feeling silly willy nilly, I'm a gross -- ♪
♪ Left up out the crib on a mission to -- some ♪
♪ I'm gonna dive into them lids pull [unintelligible] ♪
♪ Saw her and my nose rubbing [unintelligible] underneath ♪
♪ Them clothes, cover the floor, one at the door top ♪
♪ Put a small clutch in your throat ♪
♪ You let her choke and I won't let it go ♪
- ♪ Navigating through this state of life ♪
♪ Trying to find me a shawdy and make her mine ♪
♪ Now I'll find one in no time ♪
♪ With the help of the homies
♪ I'm going up with my bruhs
♪ Going up, we're going up with my bruhs ♪
♪ Going up, we're going up with bruhs ♪
♪ Going up, going up, we're going up with bruhs ♪
♪ We're going up, going up with the bruhs ♪♪
- ♪ I'm vibing with you, you just tell her -- ♪
♪ What you trying to do
♪ I'm in a mood, if you with it, that's too ♪
♪ You see I'm trying this light with this pipe inside you ♪
♪ I'm looking for a yes, and I kinda respect ya ♪
♪ I ain't trying to flex, stretching, move to ♪♪
- Yo. - Hi, Mike.
- Get out of here.
- ♪
- I said get out of here. - Are you drunk?
Hmm? Well?
Yes, you are.
- What are you doing here?
- Okay, so I had a long talk with Regina.
- Mm-hmm, well go back. - Okay, just--
- Give me my fucking keys.
- Will you just stop being an asshole and listen?
- ♪
- [belches]
- Did you just fucking belch when I'm trying to tell you
I love you? - Oh God, I'm sorry.
That was--that was rude.
- It's disgusting. - I was--
Tell me what you was saying about.
[indistinct mumbling]
- Listen, I just--I wanna be with you, and only you.
Are you there? - I'm here.
I--I think I wanna be with other people, you know?
- Okay, so you're still gonna be an asshole.
- If that's what you wanna call it, yeah.
- Okay. Alright, well, I know you love me.
- Mm.
- Maybe--can you just stop drinking?
- Can you not touch my shit?
Look, what have you done with my love besides hurt me?
- You're so stupid.
- I'm not gonna be too more stupids.
- ♪
- Okay.
- Alright.
- ♪
- I'm just trying to talk to you--why do you keep spilling
beer all over-- - Why are you judging me
in my house? - Why are you drinking? Why--
- Why are you in my house? You came here!
I was chilling. - Put the beer down--
you're disgusting. - I'm sorry.
- I'm just trying to talk to you and get you to understand.
Clearly, you're not even ready for a relationship.
It's obvious. - Mm-hmm.
Any buts? You have anything else to say?
- You know what? I'm gonna call Regina and tell her
how wrong she is. You're pathetic.
You're disgusting, actually. - I'm in my house.
- You disgust me. - Don't you touch me.
- ♪
- You should put this down.
- No, you--you should get out.
[laughs] You should get out and don't--you should clean
that up too. Bye.
- ♪
- No, actually--no, no, no, no, - I'm not answering anything.
- Talk to me, answer me, sit down. Sit, please.
- You think I'm gonna sit down when you talk to me like that?
- Sit down, sit down please.
I have a question.
Okay. Please, please. Thank you.
- ♪
- What, Mike?
- Did you fuck Bill?
- You know the answer to that.
- I know you didn't answer me.
- Do you think I would do that?
- You kissed him.
- No, I didn't.
Regina told you what that was about.
- Yeah, but-- - But what?
You know what? This is stupid, I'm out of here.
- Bye. Leave my key.
- [keys clang]
- ♪
- [moans]
Who's sorry? Who's sorry?
[indistinct mumbling]
- ♪
- [shoe clangs]
- [sighs]
- ♪
- [moaning]
- ♪
- BILL: My turn.
- ♪
- Whoa, why you stop? Why you stop?
- We're done. - Okay, where you going?
- Home.
- No, no, no, hold up, I ain't--I ain't done.
- Ah well, I don't know what to tell you, bae.
- Hold up, you just-- - Listen--
- You just gonna leave me like this?
- I was horny, and you know how to do what you do.
And that's all I wanted.
- Okay, that's cute, but--hold up,
you just used me for my body?
- Well, don't you think that's better than using a vibrator?
- [laughs] That's a good one.
Hold up. No, for real.
My vibrator didn't get anything.
Yo, you can't leave me like this.
- Why can't I?
- Because you got him up, now you gotta get him down.
- I don't gotta do nothing.
- Regina, that's selfish.
- Oh, wow. We're using that word?
- Yeah, look, all that time I just spent down on my knees--
- And I came twice.
Thank you.
- Oh, I know, I was there.
If you remember. - Mm-hmm.
- Okay, now stop playing. Stop it.
You being for real?
- ♪
- I'm not being for real, boy.
- Of course, that's what I'm talking about.
- But for real for real. - Huh?
- Mm-hmm. Bye.
- No, no, stop playing.
Hey, hey, can we talk later? - REGINA: No!
- Regina! - REGINA: No!
- That's--I would've give consent.
Okay?
It's okay, it's perfectly fine.
Regina, come back, baby.
That ain't fair!
Now you got my tongue arguing with me.
Baby, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?
What's--now you got my dick mad at my tongue, alright?
No, no, no, I ain't--no!
I'm trying to get an upward mandog.
- ♪ I be feeling good vibe
♪ I be feeling good vibes, good vibes, good vibes ♪
♪ I be feeling good vibes
- Regina!
- ♪ I be feeling good vibes
♪ I'm gonna kick the week off with them vibes ♪
♪ I ain't gotta stress myself on trying to live my best life ♪
♪ Feeling like, yeah
- ALICE: Ooh. Wake up!
Wake up.
John!
Wake up, boy, you have to open the store.
- Ma. This is your morning to open the store.
- I'm too tired.
You know, my date went too long last night.
- I know, I was stuck out the house the whole time,
that's why I just got--I just got to sleep.
- Now whose fault is that?
- It's your fault.
You had the double lock on the door.
- Then don't blame me 'cause Christy likes to go a long time.
[laughs]
- Who is Christy?
Why do you keep talking about this person?
- You don't know my coochie name by now?
- Okay, it's too early for this, Ma, okay?
- No, I'm serious, you gotta get up and open the shop.
- Ma, I'm not getting up, no.
I'm not doing it.
- Get up.
- Okay, what is it, Ma?
I'm up. What you want?
- I'm just waiting on you to get up.
- For--Ma, I'm not opening the store.
It's your turn.
Fine, Ma, I'll open the store.
Fine, okay? - Okay, good, then get up.
- I'm gonna get up. You don't have to stand here.
You can leave now. - Why I gotta leave?
- Because it's my room, that's why.
You just said you needed what you needed, I got you.
You can go. - You naked?
- What? Obviously I'm not naked, Ma. Would you go?
- Well, get up, that's what I'm trying to say.
- Ma, I'm not getting up. Can you go, please?
- Oh. [laughs]
Your little thing hard.
- First of all, it's not little, Ma.
First of all, I'm not having this conversation.
- Yeah, it is, you know, 'cause I've done seen it before.
- Ma. - It little.
- Okay, this is really inappropriate.
- Yeah, uh-huh, you living with your mama.
- Can you please leave?
- No, I need you to get up.
- I'm up, don't you see my eyes open?
I am up. I see--I am up.
Now please, exit stage left, please. Thank you.
- Did you name him? - Name what?
- Well, that little ding-a-ling.
- Ma! I don't wanna talk to you about this.
Stop talking about my stuff.
- I mean, boy, I changed your pissy diapers
'til you were nine. - Nine, Ma?
- Yeah.
- First of all, you shouldn't have me in diapers that long,
first of all.
- From a 9-year-old bitch to a 30-something-year-old bitch.
I'm out of here.
With your little penis.
- How you gonna call me a--how you call me a bitch this early
in the morning?
- ALICE: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
- You--[groaning]
- ALICE: I wish you would call me a bitch--
- Ain't nobody calling you nothing!
Nobody said nothing to you!
- ALICE: Damn right.
- ♪
- ALICE: You calling Tom?
[laughs]
- Damn, I gotta move out.
Fucking hate my life.
- ♪
- One time you pray, like Lord--you couldn't have put me
in somebody else, Jesus.
- [phone dialing]
- [phone ringing]
- Hello? - JOHN: What up, Tom?
Hey, you in your car? - Yes, I am.
- Hey, man, could you come scoop me, man?
- TOM: Yeah, I was actually wondering
if you were gonna call. - Yeah, man.
- Yeah, man, no problem, I'll come get ya.
- JOHN: Thank you.
- Alright, hey, I'm already in the car,
so I'm close by, alright.
- Alright, cool, I'll see you in a few.
- TOM: Okay, see ya soon. - A'ight.
- Bye.
- ♪
- God.
[indistinct mumbling]
- ♪
- [phone dialing]
- [phone buzzing]
- Yo? - John?
- JOHN: Yeah?
- Why does my jaw hurt?
- I don't know why your jaw hurt.
You owe somebody money or something?
- MIKE: John, nigga, I think you hit me.
- What?
- Yeah, you hit me.
- JOHN: I did not. I don't know what you talking about.
- I was sitting at the bar.
You came in and you hit me.
- I--I don't know what you talking about.
You got hit?
- MIKE: Yeah, okay, I'm coming to whoop your ass.
- What you talking--wait, why you bringing violence into it?
We live in Atlanta, boy, the home of Martin Luther King,
boy, peace.
Hello? Mike. - I'll see you.
- JOHN: Mike!
Damn!
- ♪ Just got by the fire
- Hey, Ma! - ♪ You walk away
- Ma!
- ♪ Just going through the motions ♪
♪ But I won't get my hopes up
♪ Tell me I'm just ♪
- What are you doing here?
- I came to take a class.
- When have you ever done yoga?
- You know what? I'm thinking about trying something new.
- No, I don't think so.
- Come on now, talk to me.
- Bill, I'm not talking to you.
- Okay, well, I'm gonna take your class anyway.
I'm sitting here, getting my chakras aligned.
Let me try to sit downward twerking dog.
- Class does not start for 30 minutes.
- ♪
- Okay, well, I'm be right here getting my chakras on--
- And Regina's coming.
- She is? - Mm-hmm.
- ♪ Take a deep breath, inhale ♪
- Okay. Good, that's good.
- Bill, what are you doing?
- ♪
- I don't know.
- You need to figure it out.
- That's what I'm trying to do.
- You're doing a really bad job of it.
- Is it that obvious?
- Some point, you gotta grow up, seriously.
- I know.
- Everything can't be about sex, Bill.
- [laughing] Okay, flower child.
- Flower child?
- Yeah, I mean, just look at you.
You're always so Zen and Namaste.
- Not when it comes to you.
- ♪
- Look, I'm sorry.
- You like actually slept with me when you were thinking
about her.
- I know, that was--that was stupid.
- You need therapy, for real.
- ♪
- You--you're good at that, right?
- No.
- Come on, you are.
You help all your clients.
- I'm good with women.
- And men.
- I'm too close to help you.
- Well, I mean, you--you can always try.
- Hmm-mm. - Look, look.
How am I supposed to get the help I need
if you don't help me?
- I know plenty of good therapists.
- ♪ Don't want the heat, just that shine ♪
- No, but I want you.
- Bill, are you talking about for therapy?
- ♪ Got it made, yeah
- Yeah.
- Go get your mat.
Go get your mat and warm up.
No, I'm done talking about this.
I'm not doing this.
- Okay, right here?
- Right there. - What color?
- Okay, I'll go with blue. - Good idea.
- ♪ We used to hang, ain't nothing changed ♪
♪ Still trying to sit in the shade ♪
- [phone ringing]
- GREG: Hello? - Hey.
- GREG: Hey.
- Uh, is it--is it too soon to talk?
- What do you mean?
- I just--I had a really good time with you.
- I had a really good time with you too.
So...
When am I seeing you again?
- Greg, that is not slow.
- Yeah, but you were having a good time, right?
- OFFICER GRILLS: Yeah, but I just can't get hurt again, okay?
- Oh, no, look.
I get that, okay?
- [sighs] Okay, good.
- GREG: So...tonight?
- Okay.
- You're cooking.
- OFFICER GRILLS: Done.
- My place.
- OFFICER GRILLS: What's wrong with my place?
- Your girlfriends. [chuckles]
- They won't be there, but I guess your stove is nicer.
- Okay, cool.
- Okay.
Alright, well, then I'll call you when I get off work,
alright?
- Okay, I'm looking forward to it.
- Okay. Alright, bye.
- ♪
- What's up, man? - What's up, boy?
I appreciate you. Thank you.
- Of course, of course, I got you.
- [sighs] My mama, ugh, she's just--
- Yeah, she's never gonna change, is she?
- No, she's not, unfortunately.
- Yeah, your mom's a trip, man.
- [laughs] Trip ain't even the word to describe my mama.
Uh, like hurricane with all--all
tragedy and--and terror.
- Yeah. - Pain.
- Here's the thing, man, I've been thinking about it.
And, uh, even though she's kinda crazy--
- She's not kinda crazy, she's very crazy,
but--sorry, go ahead.
- But listen, man, just cherish every moment you have with her,
alright?
It's important.
I'm, uh--my mom's still feeling sick,
and I'm getting worried about her.
- Oh damn, no way, I thought she was getting better.
- Yeah, I mean, she says she is,
but I--I don't think she's telling the truth though.
- Tell her I'm sorry, bro.
Like I'm praying for her, like for real.
- Thanks. - Sorry to hear that.
- I appreciate it. - Yeah.
- She'll be alright though, you know, she's tough.
Just I'm gonna see her soon, it's fine.
- Yeah.
I hope she--yeah.
I actually got a problem I wanna talk to you about.
I was--[sighs] Um--
- John, listen, right now, I just don't have the money to
loan you, so I just--
- I'm not ask--I didn't ask you for no money.
It wasn't even about no money. Why you gotta go there?
- Nah, I just--I--sorry.
- I don't always ask y'all for money. Okay?
It's just sometimes. - I stand corrected.
- Like y'all don't always gotta assume that I want money.
That's not what I was even-- - Okay, okay.
- Dang, man. - So what do you need, John?
Please, tell me, I'm here.
- I need some money.
- John?
- I'm playing with you. [laughs] Don't need no money.
But was you gonna give it to me? Okay, no, just playing.
Unless you was gonna give it to me.
No, I'm-- - John, what do you need, man?
Talk to me. - Seriously--alright,
seriously. I hit Mike last night, man.
- What you mean you hit him? - Like, man, he was drunk.
He was cussing out the bartender, Littia,
the one I told you about, bro. - Yeah.
- And just acting a fool, man.
I had to knock his ass out and drive him home.
- [laughs] What? - Yeah, like for real.
- Damn. - For real, man.
- ♪
- Well, hey, good for you, John, no, you know?
- No, it's not good for me.
Now he talking about he gonna come to the shop
and kick my ass. - Ooh, damn.
- Yeah, I know. You think he gonna do it?
- Uh, yeah, I would say you better get ready.
- I guess I gotta knuckle up, huh?
- I mean, listen, that little strong French bulldog
will be at your heels.
He's gonna come and he's gonna come very hard.
- What kind of fucked up brotherhood do we got?
Like this is what we do?
I gotta beat your ass, and then--
- [laughs] - I'm trying--
- That's a real one though, sometimes you gotta knuckle up.
That happens.
- I think I'm gonna have to have my mom open the store
with me tomorrow. - [laughs] That's a good idea.
You know what? Miss Alice probably take him.
- Oh, she--she--yeah, for sure.
- I don't know if she will for me, but she will.
[laughs] Definitely take him.
[sighs] This is, bro.
- Well, listen, all I'm saying is...you gotta be ready.
- Yeah, I know.
- Tell me what happened. Maybe record it if you can.
That'd be cool. - Shut up, Tom.
- I'm serious. - You just like a White person.
I need documentation.
- Half of me is very offended right now.
- Should be. Half of you should be very offended,
and half of you is probably racist but--
- Half of me's laughing though, so that's fine.
- The other half of you is probably hating the other side
of you. You just all confused.
White be like, "Yo, you a mulatto."
They will call you a mutt. - Hey.
- You're a mutt, that's what you are.
- Hey, that's racist. That is-- that actually is racist.
That's not a joke.
- You got best of both worlds, you know what I'm saying?
- That's what I think. - You got good credit.
- Yeah. - You're tall.
You know you got the Black side working.
- [laughs] - It all works out, you know.
Blackness with anything takes good.
You put pepper on anything, it's flavorful,
so you should be happy for yourself.
- ♪