- No, no, you can't just kiss me like that!
- MALE NARRATOR: Previously on "Bruh."
- Hey, Regina.
Girl, he didn't fall for it, no.
- She kissed you?
- Yeah, she called Regina, and, you know,
made it see like it was her.
- I need to move my car out of the red zone.
- Or I'll have to arrest you.
- You promise?
- Got on the phone,
act like she was talking to Regina.
I was right next to her.
I didn't hear nobody on the other end.
- No harm, no fool. Let this go.
- All right. - Just don't say nothing.
- There's something you're not telling me.
You need to just tell me now.
- It's... - What, what? Talk!
- She kissed me!
- ♪
- She what?
- She kissed me.
- She kissed you?
- Mm-hmm.
- Bill, how does that happen?
- Well, see, we-- we was driving.
You know me, 10-20, 10-2, all that.
- Mm-hmm.
- BILL: And then she just-- [lips smacking], bam.
She, you know--kissed me. - No.
Did you fuck her?
- No!
- Are you sure?
- I think I would know if I fucked her. Trust me.
- Don't play with me right now, I swear to God.
Don't play with me. - I'm not playing, I'm not.
- Why are you telling me this?
- Because if she told you, then...
- Like, what, what? You did more than kiss her?
- No, okay, look, look,
I just feel being your bruh and all,
you're my man-- you know, uh, uh-uh.
- I'm not your--
- I just think I should be the one to tell you.
- So, yes, you did more than kiss her.
- No!
- Then what was it, a peck? - It was...
- What? - It was kiss.
- What was it? Tell me. Tongue?
Bill, I will knock your ass
out right now. - A little, a little, a little.
But, look, I stopped, and I was like, "No, Pam, no!"
- Mm-hmm, and what did she say?
- She said that she knew that I wanted her,
and that Regina put her up to it.
- What did--Regina?
- Yeah, she said that it was all a joke,
it was--you know, her and Regina
put some elaborate scheme together
to see if I'd fall for it. - Sounds like a lie.
- Exactly, 'cause when she jumped on the phone,
I ain't hear nobody else on the other end.
- So you kissed the woman that I love.
- Mike, no, she kissed me, bruh.
- Except, nigga, your tongue came out of your mouth.
- No!
Look, I--look, I'm--
Look, I'm sorry, man.
- You're sorry? - BILL: I'm sorry.
- Give fuck about you're sorry?
Nigga, you was sitting there with your dick hard
with my girl, you talk about sorry?
The fuck about you're sorry? - No, no. It was his fault,
not me. - Nigga,
I don't give a fuck, nigga! I don't care!
Nigga, get out.
- Okay, you know what, look, it's some bullshit, okay?
- MIKE: Get out, get out. - I get it.
- MIKE: Get the fuck out. Get out.
- BILL: Relax. - Get out! Get out!
Get out right now!
Get out.
- Man, this is some bullshit. - I don't give a fuck, get out.
Put some pep in your fucking step, nigga, move! Get out!
- BILL: Alright.
[indistinct mumbling]
- ♪ Navigating through the state life ♪
♪ Trying to find me a shorty and make her mine ♪
♪ Now I'll find one in no time ♪
♪ With the help of my homies
♪ I'm going up with my bruhs
♪ Going up, we're going up
♪ With my bruhs
♪ I'm going, going up, with bruhs ♪
♪ Going up, going up with bruhs, ooh ♪
♪ I'm going up, going up, with the bruhs ♪♪
- ♪
- Hey. - Yo.
- Yo, that shit did not go well.
- JOHN: What happened, man?
- That boy Mike was mad as hell.
- Man, I don't know if that was the right thing to do.
- I mean, come on, I had to do it.
- A'ight, fo' sho'.
I'ma call Mike and we'll have a drink later. Cool?
- He ain't gonna want to talk to me.
- Hey, I don't know. He should calm down, though.
- I'm telling you, the boy was heated.
He's not gonna talk to me.
- A'ight, I'll see. - All right, okay.
- JOHN: I'll hit you up later, a'ight?
- Yep.
- A'ight, peace.
- ♪
- [John sighing]
- You gonna get yo' ass off this phone
and help me with this lunch rush.
- What lunch rush? It is not a soul in here!
- That's your damn fault.
- How is it my fault?
- You don't want me to make this place topless.
- Mom. Mom, come on, please.
- What?
No, I will have all the men on their knees.
- What fantasy world do you live in?
- The one where a nigga like you was aborted.
- What the hell?
Ma, damn, come on now with that! Please!
That's not something you keep saying to your son
about being aborted, all right?
- No, you standing there talking about me?
Oh, hell no.
- You telling me to get off the phone, for what?
- Yes. - And help you?
- That's right.
- There's no one in here.
- Oh, you a hater.
- Mom, how am I a hater?
- ALICE: Now, see, because if we go topless,
this place will be...
- Mom, and I'll be full of vomit,
and we will have to clean up every time
'cause nobody wants to see that, Mom, okay?
- You gon' make me shoot you. - Ma, really?
- Mm-hmm. - For real?
- No, I love you, but I will shoot yo' ass.
- Because I don't wanna see your topless self
jumping around here? - You got it.
- Okay, okay, Mom. What you want me to do?
- Mop the damn floor.
- Mom, I just mopped the floor, and this is my store, okay?
- Well, wipe down the counter.
- I did that already, Mom.
- Well? - Well?
You do know this is my store too, right?
- But you can't do shit without me.
- Are you sure you're my mom?
You sure you didn't adopt me or something?
- I'm sure you're a pain in my ass.
- JOHN: Okay. - That's what I'm sure of.
- [sighing] Okay, what are the odds, huh?
- They want me to go to the office.
- Okay, Mom, finish up out here.
You can go to the office.
- Ain't nothing to do back there.
- There's nothing to do in here, either.
- Though we have to get some customers,
or this place is going under.
- Ma, it's the summer.
It's always slow in the summer, you know that.
- Well?
- Ma, we go through this every year.
You say this every year.
- Well, I don't like it every year.
- That's why I tell you you have to save
in the winter and the fall
so that we can be ready for this moment.
That's why I tell you we'd still be in it.
I be trying to tell you that! - I needed a car.
- But now we need more money, Ma,
'cause you wanted a car.
- Well, I had to get something
to keep the young men interested.
- Ma, if they on you for a car, then...
- Well?
- Ma, that's the other problem, you be paying them.
- The first time.
- Are you serious, Ma?
- [chuckling] I pay 'em once,
and then after I put this thing on 'em,
they be paying me. - [grumbles]
- See, them young girls, they don't know shit.
And we got it.
We just have to get them to give us a chance.
- Mom, okay, I don't wanna hear any of this.
- Well, leave then, shit, 'cause I'ma talk about this.
- Ma, these kids are my age! - I know.
Hell, I don't want no old-ass man in his 60s
who can't keep it up.
- But, Ma, remember your heart condition?
- I know.
That's why I need that horizontal exercise.
- Okay, no more talking to you, Mom. You can go.
- You can't talk to me? You could talk to me.
- No, I cannot. Have a good night.
- No, no, no, what you talking about?
- Mom, bye, please, bye.
- No, like, for real? - [bell chiming]
- Mom. Mom. Ssh. Oh, see, there's a customer.
How you doing? Good to see you.
- Hey, how are you? - Oh, shit, they can wait.
- Mom, you just said we needed the money!
- Okay, okay, fine, fine.
Uh, can I help you?
- Uh, yeah, can I get a grande double shot
almond milk latte, please?
- I don't make all that shit. That shit just on there.
Pick something you see on the fucking menu, man.
- Wow.
Uh, I'll have a Loosely Lips sandwich?
- I named that one after my coochie.
I'll be right back. Stay there. I'll be right back.
- [ringtone playing]
- What? - Hey, man, come on.
Is that any way to talk to your bruh? Come on.
- Nigga, what is it? I'm busy.
- You ain't doing shit.
- John. - Look, I talked to Bill, okay?
- Did he tell you that he fucked Pam?
- Wait, what? - Yeah.
- He said that they kissed.
- Nah, he's not telling you everything, I know it.
Nah, they fucked. They fucked.
- Mike. I wanna talk to you, man.
He didn't do that.
- I know he did. - Come on, man, can we meet?
- I'm not talking to him, all right?
- Mike, he didn't do that, man.
- What did he tell you?
- He told me they kissed, man.
- Okay. Look, I know him, and I damn sure know her,
and they fucked.
He's not telling me everything.
- Mike!
- Okay, you just wait until I talk to her.
- When you gonna talk to her?
- I already called her, all right?
I'm just waiting for her to call me back.
- JOHN: Mike, Mike, Mike!
You need to calm down before you talk to her, man.
- I don't need to do shit, all right?
I'm done with Bill's bitch ass, I'm done with you.
This friendship is over. The bruhs are over, all right?
- Mike!
- MIKE: All right, get off my line.
I don't wanna hear shit, okay? Bye!
- [sighing] Damn.
- ♪
- [phone buzzing]
- Yeah?
- JOHN: Me and Bill will be at your house at seven.
Get Mike over there.
- Ah, okay?
Uh, what's going on?
- JOHN: They are at each other,
and Mike says he's done with the bruhs.
- Oh, geez, really? - JOHN: Yeah.
- Okay, okay, listen, I'll call him later.
- JOHN: Okay.
- All right, cool.
Listen, I got a patient right now, but, um,
I'll talk to you guys in a bit.
- JOHN: Bye. - All right, cool, bye.
-Hello, Mrs.-- - Hey.
- Hey, how are you?
- Good, how you doing? - How's it going?
- What's going on? - Oh.
- TOM: Good to see you. - You too.
- So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?
- You know, I wanted to talk to the friend with some sense.
- Well, I'm honored you thought that was me.
Thank you. - Yes, it is. It is.
- Have a seat, yes. - Thank you.
- So I feel like-- - So, uh, tell me
what this might be about?
- I think you can guess. It's Mike.
- Yeah, yeah, I figured it might be.
- Yeah, I mean...
this guy--he has been driving me crazy, Tom.
Like, I've been acting crazy.
He makes me angry.
He makes me--
I don't know. - Yeah, yeah, listen,
he makes us all feel the same way.
That's Mike, that's who he is.
- Oh, but I love him.
- We do too.
- And I want to be with him.
You know, I want him to love me.
I want him to openly have eyes for me.
I know how that sounds.
- No, oh, no, that's not too much to ask.
- Yes, it is, and you know it.
- [chuckling]
Well, I know Mike, and I...
- Right.
So, I mean, you know that he's not into that.
- Hmm, no...
Listen. - Mm-hmm.
- I'm not saying he's not into it,
but I think you need to talk to him.
- No, mm-hmm.
I'm done talking to him.
I'm tired of talking to him, Tom.
- Okay, Pam, well, I don't know how you're gonna get anywhere
with this 'cause that's kind of what it requires.
- I know, I know.
- And...
I think you should talk to him about kissing Bill.
- Wait.
You know--wait.
- Yeah, I know about that. - How do you know about that?
- I know about that. It's not a secret any more.
- Damn.
- What was that about, Pamela? Why?
- Don't get mad at--
Regina and I just wanted to see what he would do. That's it.
- Hmm. So you actually talked to her about it?
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- Oh.
- Wh--what, why did you say it like that?
- Well, I, um...
- What? Tom, say it.
- Bill didn't hear anybody on the other end of the phone.
So...
- ♪
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Wait, so, does he think that I did that?
- Huh, yeah.
He thinks you actually made a pass at him.
He said you were very drunk, so...
- Okay, he heard me call her.
- Yes, Pamela, but was there anybody on the phone?
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Tom, are you kidding? - If you say that, okay.
- Are you kidding me? No.
- If that's what you're saying.
But just know Mike knows too.
- Wow, okay. - TOM: Yeah.
- Wow.
So, what? So now he thinks that I'm the one
that's playing games?
- Well, Pamela, what do you call that?
That's a game.
- It was Regina's idea, Tom!
It wasn't even my idea.
- Okay, okay, well...
- It was! It was Regina's idea.
- Okay, but-- - Look, here.
- Fine, then I have a question for you.
- No. - No, I have a question for you.
How did she know that you would just so happen
to be in the car with Bill?
Hmm?
- She didn't.
- She didn't? - PAM: No.
- Well, then how did you know to do it?
- Why you sound like a lawyer right now?
- I'm just asking the obvious questions here.
Like, this is real. - PAM: Okay, look,
we talked about it beforehand, right,
and she said if I was ever in that position,
then I should let her know-- which I was, so I did,
and she told me to go for it.
- [stammering] - Here, look, look.
- You're getting a little far-fetched here, Pam.
Let's just-- - No, look, look.
Look at the text messages. - I don't--that's none
of my business. I don't wanna look at the text messages.
- Look at them! Tom, look at them, look. Look.
Uh-huh.
- You two are wild. - Can I have an apology now?
Receipts! These are receipts! - You two are--okay, fine.
Fine, yes, you two are something else, but okay.
- Okay. So what, so now-- - Listen.
- Wait, Mike thinks that I'm the one that's playing games?
Can we--
- TOM: Okay.
Can you be at my house tonight? Seven o'clock?
- Mm.
Uh, yeah.
- With Regina.
- Okay. - Okay.
We're gonna put this all to bed once and for all.
Okay, no more funny business.
That okay?
Can we do that? - Okay.
- Okay, good. - All right...
- Unless I can give you a flu shot or something?
- No, no, no, no, no, thank you, I don't want that.
All right, thank you for talking to me.
- Of course, Pamela, thank you for coming in.
We'll handle this, okay?
- Thank you. How are you doing, by the way?
Are you good? - Yeah, I'm pretty good.
You know, a couple things I'm dealing with,
but, you know, I think the bruhs can figure it out.
- You guys.
Um, all right, I'll see you at seven.
- Okay. Wait, Pamela. Just bring Regina.
- I will. - Okay.
- You guys need to get these doors fixed.
- Hey. - What?
- Don't tell her. - Tom!
- I'm serious! - Tom!
- Don't tell her. - I won't!
- Okay, but I'm trying--
- Tom, you already saw the text messages.
- Okay. See you tonight. - Okay.
- Bye, Pamela.
See you.
- ♪
- [knocking on door]
- Oh. Yeah?
- BILL: Yo, it's Bill, man. Come on.
- JOHN: Yo, what up, what up? Come on in.
- What's going on? - JOHN: Chilling. Come on.
- I been calling and texting you all day.
- Man, my phone is in the bathroom
locked with my momma. I don't know what
she doing in there. - All right, let's hurry.
Let's go, man. - A'ight, cool.
- Yo, what's up? Let's go, man!
- Just told you that my phone was in there.
You gotta wait.
- All right, well, hurry up, man.
Tom's waiting for us. - Okay, then, I got you.
- Alright.
What? What's up?
- I told you, my phone is in there.
I can't go nowhere without my phone.
- Hey, use mine. - What if the bartender call me?
- What bartender, bruh?
- The bartender, the one I was telling you about!
The beautiful one.
- Can we come on?
- Fine, at least let me get my watch.
- Nigga, who still wears a watch?
- A nigga with no phone, that's why.
- [door creaking] - Boy, you testing me.
- Mom...
What the f--
Mom? - Hey, Bill.
- Hey, Miss Alice.
- You like my dress?
- Mom, that's not a dress! It's like a napkin!
Where are you going?
- Mm-hmm, I borrowed it from the restaurant.
- You should've burnt it at the restaurant, Mom.
Like, where you think you're going?
- To the Hip-Hop Awards.
- Mom, that's just embarrassing. People know me.
- Well, we even.
- Ma, you shouldn't be going. It's embarrassing.
You shouldn't be wearing this. - You embarrass me every day.
- All right, let's go. Let's go. - I'm going, let's go.
I need to get my phone, though. - All right.
- Don't come home too early. - What you mean, don't--
That's crazy, man. Excuse me!
- I love you. - JOHN: Whatever.
- Yeah.
If I'm lucky, I'll have a few rappers
over for an unwrapping party.
- Oh, get your momma and let's go.
- JOHN: Mom! - Let's go.
- Why you got all this glitter on my phone?
- I know! It went everywhere!
- Why you put it on my phone? - I wanted everything
to sparkle. - Why you--not my stuff!
This is not yours!
- It makes it look better. - No, it don't!
Like, act your age, Mom!
Like, put some clothes on!
You just don't-- - You like it, don't you, Bill?
Thank you. See, Bill likes it.
- Okay, I'm finna go.
- Yeah, me too. Let's get going, J.
- JOHN: Excuse me, excuse me. - Well?
- Let's go. - I'm a savage. Ratchet.
- Mom! You not a savage, okay?
- ♪
- [knocking on door]
- Who is it? - GRILLS: It's the police.
- What the hell?
- Hey. Hey. - Hey.
Uh, do you remember me?
- Yeah, you're the officer that helped me move in, right?
- Yeah, um.
- Yeah, what?
- Okay, so, I'm so embarrassed right now,
but my girlfriends are in my apartment,
and they dared me to come over here
and bring you a bottle of wine.
- Oh, thank you!
- GRILLS: Yes, as--um, as a housewarming gift.
- Oh, well, technically, it's not my house.
I'm just staying with a friend. - Damn.
- But I appreciate it, though, this is nice.
- Oh, yeah.
Um, okay, um.
They are looking at me through that peep hole,
and I am gonna be mortified if you're mean to me.
- Why don't you come in? - Are you sure?
- Yeah, come on. - Well...
- You're a police officer, right?
- Yeah.
- So I'm sure you can handle yourself.
- You're right. - Come on in.
- Uh, oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.
I'll just sit here for a minute.
- Don't be, it's fine.
- I'm sorry, I...
It's late.
- Yeah, but it's cool.
- Don't you have to be at the hospital tomorrow
to save some lives or something?
- Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm not yet
technically licensed to practice out here in Atlanta.
- Oh, so, does that mean that if I got sick,
you couldn't save me?
- GREG: Of course I could.
If I got into some trouble, could you save me?
- Well, I am a police officer, so, yeah.
- I see.
Would you like a glass?
- Only if you let me pour.
- Okay, I'll get some glasses.
- Okay.
Is there a wine opener? I can help you get it.
- GREG: I got it, it's right here.
- ♪
- Oh, well, thank you. - [glasses clinking]
- No problem.
I'll let you open that. - Thank you.
This is fancy! [laughs]
- So...
Wait, are you barefoot?
- Oh, is that bad?
- No, no. You have cute feet.
- Oh, you think so? - GREG: Yeah.
- Thank you!
- Here--here, you gotta let me open this.
- Okay, okay, fine. I admittedly suck at that.
- It's all right.
- ♪
- [cork popping]
- There we go.
- BOTH: [laughs]
- Thank you. - I'll pour yours first.
- ♪
- Thank you. I would've never gotten that out then.
I am a mess.
- I'm the one making a mess in here.
- Oh, no, it's fine, thank you. - Here you go.
Um, to getting up the nerve.
- Yes, to getting it up.
- Wait, what?
- Oh, my--no, I swear I didn't mean it like that.
- No, no, that's cute. - No, I swear I didn't.
- Okay, whatever you say. - Oh my gosh, I'm such a dork!
- You're not a dork.
- Oh, well, you let them tell it, I am.
- So, why'd you let them put you up to this?
- Okay, confession?
- ♪
- I, um--I've been talking about you.
- You have?
- Uh-huh, I, um--I noticed you
the first time I saw you.
I was pulling out of the garage,
and I was going to yell at you for being a flagrant criminal
parking in the red, but, um, when I approached you...
- What?
- Oh, it's stupid, it's dumb.
I saw the compassion in your eyes.
It just--it made me want to know you more.
- Oh.
Well, here's to getting--
- Don't say getting it up, please.
- I was going to say
here's to getting to know each other.
- Yes.
- [knocking on door]
- Oh, I'm sorry, I'll get that.
- No, no, those are just my stupid girlfriends
trying to listen.
- Really? - Yeah, I'm--I'm gonna go.
- You are? - Yes.
- You can keep the glass. - Oh, no.
- No, keep it.
It'll give you a reason to bring it back.
- Okay.
- ♪
- You have a good night, okay?
- Okay, uh, yeah, and you,
um, have a good night too.
Um, um, good night.
Oh my god. - Sure.
- GRILLS: Oh, I should kill you! Oh my--
- [chuckles]
- Well, a lot of activity in our hallway.
- Yeah, her friends just dared her
to come say hi to me.
- Really? So what happened?
- We had a glass of wine.
- Damn, wine already?
So you been at my place one night.
You're already having wine with my neighbors.
I don't even know my neighbors.
I mean, look at you, young playa!
- I guess, it was...
It was cool. It was cool.
- Okay, well, it sounds cool, man.
- [knocking on door]
- TOM: Somebody at the door.
- Hey, how are you? - Good, how you doing?
- PAM: Thank you for doing this. - TOM: Of course, any time.
- You're a really good listener.
- Try to be, you know? - Yeah.
- I mean, I'm a good listener, but Tom, really--
he really, really is.
- I'm sorry, who are you? - I'm single.
- Greg--hey, hey. - Oh, no. [laughs]
- Take it easy, playboy. - Who is this guy?
- Playboy, this is Mike's lady, okay?
- No, I wouldn't say all that. - Oh!
- You know.
- Oh, I'm--no, I'm sorry, I get it.
- I'm Pam.
- I'm Greg, Tom's friend from college.
Nice to meet you. - Yeah, nice to meet you too.
- Oh. - [sighing]
So we're gonna do this? Well, is he staying?
- [knocking on door] - That's Mike.
- No, don't tell him that I'm here. Wait.
- Hold on.
- PAM: No, no, no, no, don't tell him that I'm here.
- Answer the door. Shh.
- TOM: Mike, what's up, baby? - What's up? Greg?
- What up, Mike?
- MIKE: Yo, what are you doing here?
- Well...
- Greg's moving here.
- You moving to Atlanta? - Looks that way.
- Hey, Greg, can you give us a minute for a second?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll be here. - Thanks, man.
- GREG: Nice seeing you, Mike. - TOM: Appreciate it.
- MIKE: You, too. Welcome to Atlanta, bro.
- All right.
- Why am I here?
- Well, first off, thanks for coming, okay?
Nice to have you here. - Answer me.
Why am I here?
- Mike, just relax.
You want a drink or something, have a seat?
- No, I don't. Why am I here? Tell me.
- So we can talk, bruh.
- There's nothing to talk about.
- Mike, come on. We're bruhs.
We can always talk. It's always been that way.
- Not about this.
- Mike, just-- - No, we have a code.
Do not let these hoes come between us.
- Okay, okay, Mike, let's not call them hoes.
We can talk civilly, okay? - MIKE: What, really?
- No, Mike, seriously. - Bill fucked Pam.
- No, no, no, he didn't do that.
- Yes, he did. - No, Mike.
- He knew what a sleazy slut she is.
- Trust me, Mike, no, just don't go into all that.
- I can't stand that bitch.
- TOM: Mike, that's not true. - Fuck her.
- No, relax, don't talk like that right now.
- I can't stand that bitch. - TOM: Just stop it, please?
- I swear to God. - Mike, we're talking--
- No, no, no, go ahead. - What the fuck?
- Say what you have to say. - Just--
- You too, Tom?
- Mike, no, listen. - MIKE: No.
I only have...
- What the fuck? - What are you doing?
- ♪