- So, how long have you known him?
- We dated a few years. - So, did we.
- TOM: Previously on "Bruh"--
- You know what, we need to compare notes.
- Why are you in my house? - I still have your key. Hi.
- Damn, man. - What?
- They about to know all my dirty little secrets.
- Come on, let's go to the bedroom.
- You kinda deserved that shit. - Come on.
- I have somebody coming over here.
- You ain't no saint your damn self.
- We can have a threesome.
- Put yourself in that situation.
- I'm not coming back here anymore.
- Your mom just called me. She said she feels like
she's having a heart attack. I'm on my way there right now.
Just get there, okay?
- [moaning]
- Mama! Mama, where you at?
Mama. - I'm over here, nigga.
- Oh. What's wrong? What happened?
- Ms. Alice, you okay? - What happened?
- It's my heart. - What happened though?
- Well, we were--uh, well, I was fucking.
- Okay, Ma, like, that's'-- that's not the important part.
What happened to your heart? Let's stay focused.
- But that's what we were doing. - Okay, Ma, I understand that
but you talking about your heart, like, okay--
- Well, I can't tell you about my heart
without telling you how it happened.
- Okay, Ma, go ahead. Tell me what happened.
- Well, we were fucking. - Ma, you said that already.
Don't say it twice. Just talk about the heart.
- Okay. We was fucking.
- Okay. Can you stay focused?
Remember your heart, something's wrong, like--
- Well, you keep interrupting me.
- Okay, Mom, please just tell me--tell me what happened.
For real, come on. - Well, we were--
- We get it. - --fucking.
- Please, Ma. - I just like saying the shit.
It turn me on.
- Mama, you shouldn't be turned on right now.
Your heart, remember?
Is something really wrong with your heart?
- Yes, nigga, I'm trying to tell you that.
- Well, tell us, please. - Please.
- We're here for it. - Okay, fine.
We were fucking. - Okay, okay.
- Oh my God. - Ms. Alice, we get it.
We get it. - Do you wanna get it?
- Ms. Alice, can you tell us what happened?
- Please. - Okay, okay.
He wanted me to take it. - What?
- And flip it. - Okay, Ma.
Can you tell me what happened to your heart, please?
- Oh, yes, yes, yes. I tell you, I tell you. See--
see, as I turned it up and started to twerk it,
I felt this pain in the left side of my chest.
And I said stop. But he kept going.
- So, he was hurting you? - You know, in a good way.
- Ma, you just said you told him to stop and he kept going.
- I ain't like them other bitches.
My stop always means go.
- Ma, can you stay focused, please?
- And you know I like to play the virgin.
- Get yo' mama.
- Yeah, and then I heard something go errrrr,
and he had turned the vibrator on.
- Okay. - Oh, Ma, we don't need that.
- But you didn't guess what he did.
- Please, Ma, we don't want to know. Don't guess.
Please, don't-- - No, no, no. He went harder.
- Ma, can we stay focused?
I just really wanna know what happened to you heart.
Please? - Okay. Okay.
And then I used the strength of my kitty wall.
- Oh my god. - And clenched up on him.
And then he stopped. And then you know what he did?
He just ran the fuck out. Left me there in pain.
- So, Ma, you telling me he didn't call a ambulance?
- No.
- So, Mama, why wouldn't you say that at first?
You could've been laying here dead.
- Hell, you asked me what happened?
- Ma, you didn't have to go all--
- I'm gonna call 'em right now. Okay? I'm gonna
call 'em right now. - Ma, you went all
the way to that, like this is life and death.
You sittin' here talkin' about, "He was wah-wah."
Like, you should've told me that.
- Why you acting like you the motherfucker
having a heart attack? - Ma, okay.
- I'm the one in pain. - I know.
- I know I'm pretty. - You're beautiful, Ma.
- Yes. - But I care about you.
Your heart, okay? And you took us all the way there
to tell us that no emergency people was called to help you.
- Ooo, that pain.
- ♪ Navigating through this state of life ♪
♪ Trying find me a shawty and make her mine ♪
♪ Now I'll find one in no time
♪ With the help of the homies
♪ I'm going up with my bruhs
♪ Going up, going up with my bruhs ♪
♪ Going up, going up with the bruhs ♪♪
- ♪
- I can't-- - Like, where you feelin' it?
- I can't be talking to you. - I--I just called 'em.
The ambulance is on the way.
- Okay, Tom, said he called them earlier.
- Okay.
- Well, what's takin' 'em so long?
- Ma, they gonna come. He called 'em,
they got the address. It's gonna be fine.
- Well, maybe they don't know where the house is.
- Ma, they know where the house is, they--
you call them, they know the location.
- Well, what if they miss it? - They're not gonna miss it, Ma.
Okay? It's alright, calm down.
- This the house all the men come
on Friday night. - What?
- Shit, I know a couple of ambulance drivers.
- What? - They know where I'm at.
- Okay. I'm sure those are not the ones that were called.
Okay. - Yeah.
- They're coming, Ma. Just relax, please.
Like, your heart, like this--relax.
- If Tom called 'em, they should've been here.
Hell, he half white. - Right.
- Should be half on time.
- Ma, Ma, they coming, okay? I don't know why they
taking a long time but they're coming, okay?
- Go on and wait for 'em. - Okay, Ma.
- I'll be here with Bill. - How did we beat them here?
- Just because of where we live, man.
- Yeah. Yeah, you right. - That's what it is.
I'm gonna go see if they here, Ma.
- Okay, go on out there.
And what the hell wrong with my house?
- Nothing, it's a beautiful house, Ms. Alice.
It's very-- - Yeah, I know.
But this is the place there is to live.
- How you figure that?
- You ain't got nothing no motherfucker wanna steal.
- Yeah, you do have a point. Yeah.
- Bill.
If this is my last time, could you just hold me?
- Ms. Alice. - Yes?
- Isn't that what got you in this situation
in the first place? - No, fucking did.
- Okay, no, I'm not doing this. - It's so hard to give it up.
- Okay. - I love it so much.
I love it so much more now that I've gotten older.
- Oh okay.
- You know, as I got older, I got more and more beautiful.
And more and more sexier. - Ms. Alice.
- And more and more horny. Hold my hand.
- Ms. Alice you just got done having sex.
- Smell it. - No, no.
I don't know where your hand been.
- Oh, you hurt my heart. Oo, ow. - Okay, I'm sorry.
Let me--let me get some hand sanitizer.
- Oh shit. Oh shit.
How could you do that to a dying woman?
- I'm gonna get it right. - Oh shit.
I ain't talking about that shit. Go on.
- Ma, Tom here. - There he is.
Hey. - Hey.
Check my chest.
- Okay, focus.
- Okay, Ms. Alice just calm down.
- And focus. - I'm here.
I'm gonna make sure you're okay.
Can you tell me what's hurting right now?
- Everything.
- I'm just gonna take your blood pressure.
- Okay. Did you warm this shit up?
- Ma. - This'll be just fine, alright?
- Focus. - Okay.
- She okay? - Yeah.
So, do you feel a pain in your chest right now?
- No, but I'm looking at a pain in my ass.
- Ma, can we stay focused on what's going on, okay?
It's alright. - But you are.
You just a damn pain.
- Ma, this ain't the time right now.
- Well, I'm shit--
- Okay, Ms. Alice can you tell me what was happening
when you first felt the pain? - No, don't ask her that.
- Well, it all started when I was fucking.
- Okay, that took an unexpected turn.
- What the hell?
- I hear the ambulance, I'm about to go.
- Oh, you know what, just in time.
- She dying? Is she dying or something, man?
- No, no, just in time to save me from that story.
- Don't be saying-- - Oh no, trust me,
you don't want to hear that story.
It involves a Korean and fucking.
- Okay, I'll go get the ambulance.
- Wait, wait, oh shit. - What? What mama?
What? What's wrong? - It's the pain. It's the pain.
- Okay, Ms. Alice can you pinpoint
exactly where you feel the pain.
- It's all--it's all in here under my, under my ribs
or something. - Hey man, help her, man.
- Okay. Okay, Ms. Alice, your pulse and your blood pressure
are perfectly fine. Okay?
- I'm having a heart attack. - Tom, come on, man.
- May I try something? - Anything to stop this pain.
- Okay, just let me trace this here.
- What are you doing, doc?
- Oh. - Ma, Ma!
just don't-- - Turning me on.
- Ma, I thought you was hurtin'.
- Well, I am but that make me tingle.
- What?
- [Alice farts]
- Oh. - Oh! What the hell is that?
I had my mouth open. - BILL: My nose bleeding.
- Damn, oh, I feel better.
- [John coughing]
- It was just gas, Ms. Alice. You're okay.
- Oh, gas make you feel like that?
- It can, it depends, you know. - Damn. Eh.
- Yeah, you might want to, um, think about changing your diet.
A little less lactose, less cheese.
- Oh.
Is that why I'm farting so much when I'm fucking?
- Um, okay, Ms. Alice, I think you're good.
- Am I? - Yes.
- 'Cause I feel like you done shook something loose.
[laughs]
Whoa, whoa, I got to run to the bathroom.
- Guys, guys, grow up, please. Thank you.
- Did you smell that? - Yeah, I can smell that.
- Boy, your mama done fumigated the whole building. Ooh.
I think my nose is bleeding. - Is she a'ight?
- Yeah. Yeah, she's fine.
It was just excess bloating. It leads to gas.
It gets built up, so. - Hold up, hold up.
So, your mama called us all the way over here
to help her fart? - Shut up. So--
- Well, it's not exactly that--
- So, ain't nothing wrong with her heart?
- Well, you really dedicated. - No, no, her hearts fine.
She'll be okay. - Okay.
- ALICE: Hey, y'all tell them ambulance people
to go somewhere?
I ain't gonna pay them to have to take me to the hospital.
- She sounds--she sound like-- she sound fine.
- I mean, she's right though. Ambulance can be very expensive.
You might want to, uh, head that off before they get up here.
- Okay. Well, let me kinda catch 'em.
I'll be back. - A'ight.
Doc, how you-- Your nostrils right?
- TOM: It's fine. - It's not fine.
- TOM: Just relax, Bill. - It's foul as hell.
- Regina, what--what you doing here?
- Uh, your mama called me and said she was having
a heart attack. - She's not.
She's fine, actually. - What?
- Yeah.
- So, I drove all the way over here for nothing?
- Uh, yeah. She just had to-- - Had to fart.
- Okay, I was gonna tell her. - Well, I mean, it's the truth.
- She okay though. - You can smell that.
- Well, listen, goodnight, guys.
Regina, I apologize for having to leave.
But I was trying to get some sleep tonight, so--
- I'll walk you out. - Bye.
- Thanks, man. I hope my car's still there.
- Boy, get your light-skinned ass out.
Your car's still here.
- I mean, it's a bad neighborhood.
What do you want me to do?
- Stop with that light-skinned shit, bro.
- It's a valid point. - Uh, Ms. Alice, you okay?
- ALICE: Yes. - I wouldn't go in there.
- ALICE: I'm airing out the bathroom, girl.
Don't come in here. Save your edges.
- What is happening? - Just don't do it.
I'm telling you. - Alright,
well, I'm just gonna go home.
- ALICE: No, I'll be out in a minute.
Wait on me. I know you need to talk to me.
- Ms. Alice, it's okay, I'll come back.
- ALICE: I said wait. - Okay.
- If I were you, I would just go ahead
and stay over there by that door.
- Why?
- Because when she come out of there,
you gonna wanna run like hell.
- Mmm, interesting. I kinda wanna run like hell now.
- So, um, I'm guessing you talked to Natalie.
- Yeah, I did.
- And? - And what, Bill?
- What happened to you going to LA?
I thought you was about to-- - I changed my mind.
- Good. - Yeah.
I'm not about to let you run me away from my entire life.
- I don't want to do that.
- You don't know what you want to do.
- Yes, I do. - Okay, and what is that? Hmm?
- I want to be with you. - Really?
'Cause you just wanted to be with her a little while ago.
- Well, that's 'cause I thought you was gone.
I had no--I couldn't have you, so--
- What? She told me that y'all
was sleeping together while we we're dating, so--
- No, no. Nope, mm-mm.
Remember that time we went on a break? That's when that
whole thing happened. - Yeah, naw, nigga.
We wasn't on no break.
We did the math. - Oh damn.
- Yeah, to the day.
- I thought you weren't good at math.
- Really? We compared text messages and all that.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Look, uh, look, a'ight, you wanna go talk?
- Mm-mm. - Look, look, I'm sorry.
- Are you? No, don't be. Let me just--
- Should we just-- - Let me just--let me just read
you a little sumpin', sumpin' that y'all--nah, I'll just--
Hold on.
"Hey, bae, what are you doing?" Me, "Waiting for you."
You, "I'm running late at the gym, I'll be there
in two hours." - Alright, Regina, you made--
- No, there's more. I say, "Okay, babe, love you."
What do you say? Not a damn thing.
Then there's a screenshot from her phone.
You wanna know what you said? You wanna know what you said?
- I didn't say nothing. - Imma tell you what you said.
"Hey, babe, what are you doing?" Her, "Waiting on you."
Mind you this is the same day. - It was.
- Mm-hmm.
You, "I'm outside but I only have an hour.
I have to meet the guys, we have a poker game."
- Okay, okay, you made your point.
I'm a piece of shit. Or I was a piece of shit.
- You think? - That's it.
- But I have more. - No, no.
- Oh no, it gets worse.
- You don't have to read any more.
- No, I'm gonna read more. - Regina, you made your point.
Look, look, okay, hear me out. I was young.
I was stupid. I was immature.
- You were young?
Nigga, this wasn't no ten years ago.
It wasn't even five years ago.
- Well, it felt like a lifetime ago to me.
- You know what? I'm suing you.
- [laughing]
You play too much. For what?
- For what? - Yeah.
- My wedding. Remember that?
The cost for all the damages. Yeah.
- You don't want to talk about--
I mean, you being serious right now?
- I'm dead serious, Bill.
- You would actually like-- you would do that to me?
- Oh, with the quickness. - Okay, no, stop playing.
- You'll be served tomorrow. - Damn. Shit.
You don't wanna--you don't wanna go somewhere
and talk about this? - No, Bill, I don't.
I don't wanna talk.
- Okay, you don't believe that I've changed, right?
- You were just with the girl. - That's a good point, but--
- This is crazy.
It's the same thing with you over and over and over.
Like, I can't do this. - What if I get some help?
- Help? - Yeah.
- What you need help with? Hmm? - Just not doing this.
- And you think a doctor can help you with that?
- ALICE: Hey, a preacher can't even help him with that.
- Hey, Ms. Alice. - Hey.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Can you close that door?
- If I do that, that odor will be trapped in there.
- Oh fuck it.
Regina, let's go somewhere and talk.
- I'm good.
I'm gonna stay here and talk with Ms. Alice.
- You wanna talk to her in here with that smell?
- Oh boy, that smell like roses.
- Ooo, I don't know what kind of--I'm gonna go.
Can I talk to you later? - Bye.
- Alright, okay, bye.
- Well, thank you for everything.
- Okay. - Okay?
- How do you? - Turn the knob.
- And you wanna fuck him? - Thank you.
- It's a little sumpin'. - A little sumpin' sumpin'.
Girl, I thought he'd never leave.
- I know. [laughs] - [laughs]
- [knock at door]
- Go home. - BILL: Boy, open the door.
- Yo, who is that? - BILL: It's your boy, Billy.
- What the hell? Yo.
What are you doing here?
- Chill, man.
- What is it?
- Man, tell whatever thot you got up in here to go home.
- By myself. No thot.
- Man, you always got always got some thot up in here.
Stop playin'. - Look, I'm by myself.
What's up? - That's weird as hell.
- Why is that weird?
- 'Cause you don't like being by yourself.
- Nigga, I'm by myself now. What? What?
- Yo, uh, I need some legal advice.
- See me at the office in the morning, man.
I'm going to bed. - No, no.
I need some now. - I'm going to bed.
- I've been calling, why ain't you pick up your phone?
- Case in point, I'm going to bed, man. I'm going to bed.
- Okay, let me just ask you real quick.
- What nigga? - Can Regina sue me?
- What? - Yeah, man.
She said she was gonna sue me for ruining her wedding.
And I thought it was romantic, but whatever.
You know, all that, pay for the damages.
- You thought her suing you was romantic?
- No, me breaking up the wedding.
- You thought breaking up a wedding was romantic?
- For me and her. - What about the other nigga?
- Fuck him.
- That's why your ass gettin' sued.
- Yo, can she sue me? - Yes, she can sue you.
Anybody can sue anybody.
Doesn't mean she's gonna win but, yeah, she can sue you.
- Okay, okay.
Well, will you be there by my side to help me, represent me?
- No, she's not gonna sue you. So, you're good.
- No, you didn't see the look in her eyes, man.
She big mad. - Talk to her.
Sit her down and talk to her.
- She ain't trying to talk to my black ass.
- Well, your black ass about to get sued then.
- Damn. You know what?
This is all your fault. - Okay, what did I do?
- Man, y'all punk ass-- You just gonna drink all this?
- Give me. - Man, a'ight.
- Take some. - Thank you.
- You came over there and brought Natalie over
and now her and Regina went and compared notes
and found out I was sleeping with them
at the same time. [sniffs]
No, I'm good. - What, word?
- Yeah, man. - They saw each other?
- Yeah, man. I was right in there. [groans]
All of that.
Regina was just standing there, just--
- [laughing]
- What the--what the fuck is so funny, boy?
- Regina was standing there watching?
- Yeah.
- Like outside the window, like peeking in or--
- No, right in the bed, Mike. She was here.
My head was there. Regina was there.
- In the room? - In the room, bruh.
- Yeah, I told you, gotta get a bedroom door.
You a grown ass man in a studio.
- Nigga, you ain't got a bedroom door.
- See, I--I--I like that freaky shit.
- Yeah, you do. - It look like you got caught.
You got busted up. - A'ight, 'sup?
You ain't got no legal advice for me?
- My legal advice comes from this law book
that I read in college. - What's up?
- It's called take your ass home and do nothing, man.
- Michael Alexander, don't be an ass.
- Bill Washington, it is late.
- Come on, man.
- ♪ I still have my key, I still have my key ♪
Mike, you're a son of a bitch. - Here we go.
- No, no, you are. Mike, I came here.
- You know what, I'm gonna mosey on out.
- No, no, no, don't leave.
Mike, I came here to try and talk to you
and you were such an asshole.
- I'm gonna go ahead and just hit this door.
- No, don't go.
Did he tell you that he tried to put me out of here?
That he did put me out of here.
- No, he left out that information.
- Exactly--no, I know he didn't tell you.
- Okay. Well, I'm gonna--
- Mike, Mike. - What?
- You know what? You're gonna get yours.
You're gonna get yours for sure. - Okay, Pam, go home.
Go home. - I can't.
- Why? - I can't get a car.
- Why? - My phone is dead.
- How 'bout this? Ssh, kids. Here.
How 'bout I take you home and you stay right here, Michael?
- Good idea. - Can you carry my shoes?
- Look at that serendipity. - Sure.
- Thank you.
- Both of y'all can get the fuck out.
- Okay. - You know what?
Don't ever call me again.
- Don't worry about it. I won't. Okay.
Leave the key.
Can you take the key from her? - No, I'm taking it with me.
Come on, Bill. - You owe me.
- You owe me my keys. - Pro bono.
- Get me my keys. - Look, what you got me doing.
- Bill.
- Pam, you're not supposed to be here.
- Bye Pam. Bye.
Bye. Sober up. - Let's mosey on out.
- [unintelligible]. - Hold your liquor, man.
- BILL: Okay, go on. Okay, don't--
Y'all need help.
- You okay? - I will be.
- Look, I'm sorry about that.
- Sorry about what, Bill? Mike is Mike.
- I know, but damn.
He didn't have to be mean like that though.
- What and you're not? You're not mean to Regina?
- I mean, not like the way y'all be going at each other.
[chuckles] Damn. - I mean like--
Tell me what it is. 'Cause I don't get it.
Why--why are you guys like this? Why?
- I can't have this conversation with you.
- Bill, all we are trying to-- we just want love.
We want to be treated right and we want to be cared for.
It's not that hard.
- Yeah, but aren't you seeing like hella dudes?
- You know why?
- No, and this is a judgement free zone.
None of my business. - No, I'll tell you why.
- Alright, go ahead.
- You really wanna know why? - Let's go.
- It's 'cause I can't get what I need and want from one man.
- That's interesting. Go on.
- So, like, Mike offered something that I needed.
And then, I mean, Hakim offered something that I needed.
And Wilson offered something that I needed.
And Clarence offered something that I needed.
- [laughing]
Hold up, uh, Clarence? - Yeah, you know him?
You know him?
- No, no, but Wilson and Clarence sound old as hell.
They like senior citizens or something?
- I mean, yeah, kind of.
- Oh, so, you into the old men thing, you know?
- A little bit, I mean. - Can they eat solid foods?
[laughs]
- Whatever. Call it daddy issues.
Call it whatever.
- Yep, all y'all women got daddy issues.
You can say that again. - Bill,
like y'all don't have mommy issues? Come on.
- Touche. - Okay.
- Touche. Touche.
- Uh, my house is right up there.
- A'ight.
[sighs]
Okay.
- ♪
- Okay, um, well, you have a good night.
- You too.
And again, I'm sorry about, you know, Mike and all that.
What's up? - Okay.
- ♪
- Come in. - What?
- ♪
- [laughs]
- Come inside. - Nah, nah.
- Let's keep talking. This is a great conversation.
- Yeah, it is but it's you here, we here.
This is gonna stop. You drunk, so.
- Okay, but I'm not stupid.
I'm not even drunk, I know what I'm saying.
- Okay, okay.
I get that, but I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that. Oof.
Playing with fire.
Pam, you really gotta stop this. This is weird as hell.
- Bill, are you sure. - This is awkward.
Yes, I'm sure. - Bill.
- No, I'm sure-- Don't.
Look, what are you doing? - Bill.
- Please, stop. Stop, what-- - Bill.
- Stop. - Bill.
- Pam, no. A'ight, go.
Get out. - Bill, just look at me.
Come here. Come here.
- No. Stop. Stop. Okay?
- Bill. - What?
Can you get out? - Bill.
- ♪