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[upbeat music]

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[cheers and applause]

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- Welcome to "Nice One,"

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the game of competitive kindness

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where we ask comedians
to look at the bright side

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of bad situations
and say something nice about them.

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It's a battle of sweetness,

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and I'm your host and organ donor,

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Ron Funches.

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Today, we have Cameron Esposito,

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Solomon Georgio, and Brent Morin.

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[cheers and applause]

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So I'm gonna give you guys a topic

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and you just have to say
something nice about it.

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And when my friends...

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Hi, guys.
[audience cheers]

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When they hear something they like,
they'll give you some points.

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Our first topic is perverts.

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[laughter]

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Brent?
[laughter]

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- Well...
[laughs]

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Without perverts,
"My Little Pony" would be just for kids.

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[laughter]

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- Cam?

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- Perverts are how I know I'm relevant.

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The only thing worse than
having a wikiFeet page

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is not having a wikiFeet page.

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I have one.
RON: Solomon?

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- If it wasn't for perverts,

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I would've never known
I was an attractive child.

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[laughter]
- It's true.

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- They gave me the confidence
I have today.

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[laughter]

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- I'ma just move right along.

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Okay, our next topic:

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incel.

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Cam?
- Incels are just men who are correct.

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I won't fuck them.

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[laughter]

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BRENT: Aww, that's good.

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- Brent?

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- Let's just be grateful
for what they are.

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You know,
if they didn't focus all their time

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on their un-fuckability in online rants,

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then we'd have a lot more people
trying to learn the bass, so...

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- Solomon?

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- Look, if they start getting laid,

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Mountain Dew would collapse,

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PlayStation would go bankrupt,

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and all those sex dolls would have
to get jobs as mannequins, so...

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- A sex doll is just a lazy mannequin?

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[beeping]

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It's time to kick it up a notch.

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Up next, you'll see a bunch of categories.

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You just have to pick one--

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say something nice about it.

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Solomon?

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- I'm gonna go with Under Pressure, Ron.

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- Sure.
[ding]

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Fracking.

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Now, personally, I thought fracking
was when two puppets fuck.

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[laughter]

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But from what the Internet tells me,

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it's actually really bad
for the environment.

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Solomon, I don't want
"fracking" to be a bad word.

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Say something nice about it.

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- Fracking is a really fun word,
and we need more fun words--

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like "facetious."

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It's like "feces" and "delicious"
put together.

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- Cam?

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- I'm looking at Dumping Grounds.

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- Ooh,

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the Starbucks bathroom,

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where hipsters go to shit
and homeless go to die.

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[laughter]

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- You can't just smile and say that.

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- Yes, I can.
That's what makes it work.

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BRENT: You know what?
You're right.

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It does work.

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- Cameron, tell me what you love
about these rectangles of death.

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- Ron, I really appreciate
Starbucks bathrooms.

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I appreciate that they're always in use,
you know?

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The only thing less available
is every person I've ever dated.

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[laughter]

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- Brent?

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- Dude, Where's My Car?
- Absolutely.

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[ding]
Blacking out.

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- Well, I'll tell you, blacking out is the
best way to only remember the good times.

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[beeping]
RON: Nicely done, players.

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Let's check in on our scores.
[cheers and applause]

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Ooh, a close race.
- Oh, wow!

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- What?
- Unfortunately,

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in the tightest race
we've ever had, Brent,

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we have to say goodbye to you.
- Hey.

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- Get the fuck out!

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[laughter, applause]

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Oh, all right, Cameron, Solomon,

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it's time to find out
which one of you is the nicest of all.

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It's time for the nice-off...

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in the Friend Zone!

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[cheers and applause]

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Yeah.

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Welcome to the Friend Zone.
[heavy blast]

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You're gonna come at each other
with your hardest, your strongest,

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your fiercest compliments.

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Solomon, start us off.

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- I love Cameron.
We have so much in common.

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We're both gay,
we're both comedians,

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and we both have names
that don't match with what we look like.

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[laughter]

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- Solomon, you transcend gender.

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The only person that pulls off

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masculinity and femininity

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better than you is me,
and that is a high compliment.

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- That's very true.
I wanna fuck you both.

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- Cameron, your full birth name

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is Cameron Anne Young Anastasia Esposito.

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It figures they gave you enough names
for three awesome people.

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- Solomon, you first came to the US
as a refugee,

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and it's because of you that I understand
what the president means when he says,

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"Refugees are gonna come here
and take all of our jobs,"

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because you're better than us.

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[laughter]
[bell dings]

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- All right, that is it.

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That is it.
Let's hear it for our comedians.

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[laughs]

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Ooh, damn.

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We have the results.

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Now, it was a brutal battle of kindness,

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but the nicest person in the world is...

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[air horn blares]
Cameron Esposito!

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[cheers and applause]

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Yeah!

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Thanks for coming by.

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We'll see you next time on "Nice One."

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[cheers and applause]