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[cheers and applause]

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[bell dings]

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- Welcome to "Nice One,"

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the game of competitive kindness,

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where we ask comedians
to look at the bright side

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of bad situations and say something nice
for a change.

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It's a battle of sweetness,

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and I'm your host
and regular down-home girl,

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Ron Funches.

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Today we have Dusty Slay,
Nore Davis,

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Matteo Lane!

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[cheers and applause]

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I'm gonna give the comedians a topic,

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and they just have to say
something nice about it.

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And every time my friends--

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hey, y'all--

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hear something they like,

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they'll give you some points.

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Here's our first topic:

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jury duty.

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Dusty, what do you like about jury duty?

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- I like jury duty because the pay
reflects how qualified I am

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to do the job.

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[laughter]

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- Nore?

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- I can ghost an official invitation

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and risk going to jail.

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[laughter]

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I'm not going.

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RON: Matteo?

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- Well, I love jury duty
'cause as a gay guy,

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it's like a free date.

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I sit down, I get on Grindr,

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I find someone,
they give you a free hotel,

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and after deliberation,
I never have to talk to him again.

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[laughter]

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- You're a slut.
- Yeah, yeah.

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[laughter]

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- Our next topic is:

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Florida.

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Matteo, say something nice
about Florida.

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- Uh, it's, um...

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[laughter]

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- Okay, uh, we'll move along.
Nore?

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- Oh, yeah, Florida's, um...

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yeah.

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[laughter]

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- Dusty, Dusty, you can save us.

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You got something for Florida?

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- Uh, well, my dad met his fourth wife
in Panama City Beach.

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[laughter]

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- [chuckles] It also has the most
pro wrestlers per square inch.

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[laughter]

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[alarm beeps]
That is the end of round one.

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Time to kick it up a notch!

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Up next, the comedians will see
a bunch of categories.

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They just have to pick one--

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say something nice.

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Nore?
- All right, let's do, uh,

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bumper cars.

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- Why not?
NORE: Oh, there you go.

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- Uh-oh.

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Drunk driving.

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- Um...

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well, Ron, yeah, it's a--

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drunk driving's a great way
to meet new cops.

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[laughter]

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- Dusty, you're up.

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- How about fatal attraction?

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- Fentanyl.

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[Dustin chuckles]

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- I know--fentanyl sounds like the name

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of an obnoxious ten-year-old
who's already vegan.

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[laughter]

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Uh, Dusty, it seems like you might
have some family members

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that know about...

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[laughter]

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- I like that fentanyl is helping people
embrace the outdoors

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by living outside.

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[laughter]

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Tent sales are skyrocketing.
- Oh, they are.

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Matteo?

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You're up.
Pick a category.

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- Um, I'll go with pallet cleanser.

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- Ooh, that sounds neat.

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Big box stores.

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- I'd love it a lot more
if I was a lesbian.

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[laughter]

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I mean, you think I am--
I turned gay yesterday?

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I could not not make that joke.

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- Yeah.

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- [chortling]

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- I'd be like one of those lesbians--

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you know, I'd be like,
"My wife and I make our own water."

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You know, I'd be that kind of lesbian.

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[alarm beeps]

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- That's the end of the round,
"Nice One" players.

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Give 'em a round of applause.

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[cheers and applause]

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Nice!

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Now, let's see what my friends thought.

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[cheers and applause]
Ooh!

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Matteo!

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- [singing] ♪ Whooo! ♪

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RON: Nice!

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Unfortunately, Nore,
thank you for coming.

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You know I love you.
I love your comedy.

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But please,
get the fuck out.

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[laughter]

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- Bye. Love you, Nore.
You're my favorite.

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[cheers and applause]

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- Dusty, Matteo, it's time to find out
who is the nicest of all

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in a head-to-head contest of sweetness.

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That's right, it's time for the nice-off,

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in the Friend Zone!

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[cheers and applause]

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Yeah!

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Welcome to the Friend Zone.
[explosion]

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You're gonna come at each other
with your hardest,

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your strongest, your fiercest

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compliments.

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Matteo, you may go first.

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- Your name is Dusty,
which implies that you're old

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and haven't been touched
in a long time,

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but if you were on my house,

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on my shelf, I'd use you
every single night.

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[electronic warbling]

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- I feel that he's saying
you're his sex toy.

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[laughter]

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- Nobody pulls off a mustache
like Matteo.

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But if you do pull it off,
can I have it?

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[electronic warbling]

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- [giggling]

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- Your hair is so beautiful,
Britney only wishes.

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[electronic warbling]

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- There's Lois, Lover's,
Nathan, and Penny,

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but Matteo, you're the best Lane of all.

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- Awww.

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- That just felt good.

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MATTEO: Yeah.
[bell dings]

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- And that is it!

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That is it, y'all!

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Give 'em a round of applause!

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[cheers and applause]

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All right, let's hear it
for both our comedians.

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I have the results.

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It was a brutal battle of kindness.

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But the nicest person in the world is...

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[air horn blares]
Dusty Slay!

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[cheers and applause]

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- Wow.

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- Thank you all for coming by.

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We'll see you next time on...

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"Nice One."

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[cheers and applause]