1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,370 [bright music] 2 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,302 [cheers and applause] 3 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,438 [bell dings] 4 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:06,712 - Welcome to "Nice One," 5 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,410 the game of competitive kindness, 6 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:11,752 where we ask comedians to look at the bright side of bad situations 7 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,348 and say something nice about 'em. 8 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:17,220 It's a battle of sweetness, and I'm your host and snuggler of choice 9 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,391 Ron Funches. 10 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:21,188 Today we have Megan Gailey, Matt Rogers, 11 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:22,691 Zack Fox. 12 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,063 [cheers and applause] 13 00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:26,091 So I'm just gonna give you a topic. 14 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,486 You just have to say something nice about it. 15 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,028 And every time my friends-- 16 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,332 hi, guys... [cheers and applause] 17 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,334 Hear something they like, 18 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,595 they'll give you some points. 19 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:36,103 Our first topic: failing a drug test. 20 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:36,996 Megan? 21 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,967 - I think the good news when you fail a drug test: 22 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,136 you don't have to have your kids on the weekend. 23 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:44,005 [laughter] 24 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,014 - Matt, you're up. 25 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,546 - I actually think it's a good thing whenever I take a drug test, 26 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,153 'cause that means I will fail, 27 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,615 and that means I won't be able to, like, teach kids. 28 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:57,224 We need to keep me unemployed and away from children. 29 00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,457 - Zack, looks like you failed a few drug tests. 30 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,463 What do... [laughing] 31 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,334 - Yeah. 32 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:02,501 RON: What do you like about it? 33 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:03,699 - It's on you, man. 34 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,330 Look inside yourself and learn how to buy piss 35 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,966 from a better piss dealer. 36 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,541 You know what I mean? 37 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,870 - That's why I had a son. 38 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,574 [laughter] 39 00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,511 Here's our next topic: acne. 40 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,414 Matt? 41 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:21,345 - Acne is great, but back-ne is even better 42 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:25,351 'cause I actually hate being spooned and loved. 43 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,315 - Aww! 44 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,194 Zack? 45 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,062 - You know, if you're not hot in high school, 46 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,960 acne will make sure that you have a good personality. 47 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,803 - [chuckles] Megan? 48 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,428 - Men with acne scars make the kindest lovers. 49 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,025 [laughter] 50 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,267 - They're just happy to be there. 51 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,271 - Yeah. 52 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,774 - Here's our next topic: 53 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,006 Getting Mugged. Matt? 54 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,081 - I mean, personally, I would love to be mugged. 55 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,980 Please mug me, 'cause then someone will take my many cries for help seriously. 56 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,754 [laughter] 57 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,782 - Zack, what's positive about getting mugged? 58 00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,048 - Getting mugged, it gives you that adrenaline rush 59 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:03,287 that you can really only get from, like, a near-death experience. 60 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:06,333 So, like, white people go, like, skydiving. 61 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,200 I just go to Skid Row in my nicest suit like, "What's up, y'all?" 62 00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,729 [laughter] 63 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:11,534 - Megan? 64 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:15,565 - Getting mugged isn't so bad if you just think of it as a failed rape. 65 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:16,872 - Pfff! 66 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,974 [laughter] 67 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,636 - That is very correct. 68 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,714 [beeping] 69 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,482 That is the end of round one. 70 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:26,110 It's time to kick it up a notch. 71 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,146 Up next, you'll see a bunch of categories. 72 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,482 You just have to pick one-- 73 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:30,846 say something nice. 74 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,124 Zack, you're up. 75 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,062 - I'll do Drinking Problems. That sounds relatable. 76 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,058 - [giggles] 77 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:39,429 You think so, but it's paper straws. 78 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:42,659 You ever try to drink a milkshake with a paper straw? 79 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,896 It'll make you want to choke a sea turtle with your bare hands. 80 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,473 [laughter] 81 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,001 - They got so much hate, but I do love the environment, 82 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,337 so I just started doing paper everything. 83 00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:54,542 Paper forks, paper spoons. 84 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,735 Paper condoms. 85 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,547 - That's the one place I don't want a paper cut. 86 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,010 [laughter] 87 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,018 Matt, you're up. 88 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,889 - I will take Between the Sheets, Ron. 89 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,918 - Looks like you got bedbugs. 90 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:07,864 MATT: Yeah. 91 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,318 "I have bedbugs" is a great way 92 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,927 for me to stay in denial about my STD. 93 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,260 [laughter] 94 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,904 - Megan, your category. 95 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,699 - I'll take Mounties. 96 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,601 - Ooh, PDA. 97 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,273 MATT: Oh, no. 98 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:24,241 - I love seeing a couple grope and make out. 99 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,911 I think it's a great way to publicly express 100 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,810 that you privately do anal. 101 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,782 [laughter] 102 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,251 - I'm always looking for that information. 103 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,220 That's the end of the round. 104 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,379 Nice one, players. 105 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,586 Give a round of applause. 106 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,089 Well, let's see what my friends thought. 107 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,990 Let's see our scores. 108 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,592 - Oh, wow! 109 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,634 Megan, you're in the lead 110 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,828 with 1,570 nice points. 111 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,060 Matt, you know I love you. 112 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,925 - Yeah. - I enjoy what you do. 113 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,373 Unfortunately, it's time for you to go home. 114 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,839 Get the fuck out of my house! - Yeah. 115 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,598 Well, now that I don't have to be nice, eat my ass! 116 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:58,968 Eat my ass! 117 00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,666 - Megan, Zack, it's time to find out 118 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:03,277 which one of you is the nicest of all 119 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,810 in a head-to-head contest of sweetness. 120 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,246 It's time for the nice-off 121 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,352 in the Friend Zone. 122 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,294 [cheers and applause] Yeah! 123 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,120 Welcome to the Friend Zone. [heavy blast] 124 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:18,125 You're gonna come at each other with your hardest, your strongest, 125 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,458 your fiercest compliments. 126 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,934 [cheers and applause] 127 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,062 Megan. 128 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,826 You go first. 129 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,025 - Zack gained tons of followers on Twitter 130 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,997 under the alias Bootymath. 131 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:33,666 But you don't need to be good at math to know that booty is a ten. 132 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,177 [electronic warbling] 133 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,750 - I'm looking at it. It's a fatty. 134 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:42,483 - Megan, your debut comedy album came out last November. 135 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,646 It's called "My Dad Paid for This." 136 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:48,515 And that's the nicest thing he's done since he nutted in your mom and made you. 137 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,755 [electronic warbling] 138 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,861 - Zack is the only man in comedy 139 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,503 that looks like he could actually make a woman come. 140 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,799 [electronic warbling] 141 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,701 - [giggles] Oh, I beg to differ. 142 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,074 [laughter] 143 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,543 [applause] 144 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:08,279 - Megan, I saw you in a Blue Diamond Almond commercial. 145 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,548 You were so damn fine, the almonds weren't the only nuts that you made blue. 146 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,408 [electronic warbling, bell dings] 147 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,517 - Oh, that's it! That's it! 148 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,989 [laughing] 149 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,648 Great stuff. 150 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,886 Great stuff, I love it. 151 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,762 It was a brutal battle of kindness. 152 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:27,431 The nicest person in the world is... 153 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,431 [air horn blares] 154 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,962 Zack Fox! 155 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,095 We'll see you next time on... 156 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,204 "Nice One." 157 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,895 [cheers and applause] Yeah!