1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,800 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:13,388 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,974 [all cheering] 4 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,852 - Ladies, no! No running in the halls! 5 00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:22,105 - [screaming] - What the fuck? 6 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:25,275 [cheering continues] 7 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,946 all: ♪ Kappa girls are we, and everywhere we are ♪ 8 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:32,907 ♪ We wear the sacred letters, K-B-R ♪ 9 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,326 - It's 7:45 in the morning. What is happening? 10 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,537 - Is she in trouble, or are they celebrating her? 11 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,914 - I don't know. I'm just copying to be safe. 12 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,000 - Leighton Murray, you have been elected 13 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,377 Kappa Social Chair for next year! 14 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:45,670 - Me? 15 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,172 - Do you accept this crucial role 16 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,507 in our sisterhood? - I do! 17 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,718 [all cheering] 18 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:54,095 - The position comes with one of the absolute best rooms 19 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,346 in the house. 20 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,140 I'm so excited for you to move in. 21 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,976 - Whoa. So you're, like, moving to Kappa next year? 22 00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:03,646 - Um, uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I am. 23 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,398 - Let's go, ladies. 24 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,150 [all cheering] 25 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,694 all: ♪ Kappa girls are we, and everywhere we are ♪ 26 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:12,906 ♪ We wear the sacred letters, K-B-R ♪ 27 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,825 ♪ Kappa girls are we, and everywhere we are... ♪ 28 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,244 - Wait. Where's Kimberly? 29 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,039 - I just got pulled into their group like a riptide. 30 00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:22,207 Hoo. 31 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,334 - ♪ Apply pressure, so extra ♪ 32 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,294 [singing indistinctly] 33 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,338 ♪ They say I'm doing too much 'cause they're basic ♪ 34 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,673 ♪ 'Bout to level up again, so they hate this ♪ 35 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,550 ♪ I'm showing them... ♪ 36 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,385 - All right, everyone, as you know, 37 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:35,762 the year is nearing its end, 38 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,847 and your housing forms are due soon. 39 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,224 If you don't submit one, 40 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,017 you'll have to enter the rooming lottery. 41 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,937 - And live with the weirdos and losers no one else wants? 42 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,189 Oh, no, thank you. That sounds bleak as hell. 43 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,732 - Truth. 44 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,400 - Well, as y'all heard at dawn, I'm moving into Kappa, 45 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,779 and I am feeling very blessed. [chuckles] 46 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,031 So please do remove me from this floor's text thread. 47 00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,158 - Damn, okay. - And for those of you 48 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,078 who haven't figured it out yet, I advise you to think on it. 49 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:02,080 The deadline is coming up fast. 50 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,540 - Uh, Frude, related question-- 51 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,041 if someone sort of destroyed their walls 52 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,709 by putting up wallpaper using cheap glue, 53 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,420 would his or her or their parents be charged for that? 54 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,464 - Most definitely. - Okay. 55 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,757 Uh, second related question-- 56 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,884 does anyone here have some spackle? 57 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,637 - ♪ Driving for hours ♪ 58 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,390 ♪ And passed your house ♪ 59 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,183 ♪ ♪ 60 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,895 ♪ Down to the moment and still I found ♪ 61 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,313 - Hey. [door closes] 62 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,607 Can I ask you something? - Um, yeah, for sure. 63 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,109 What's up? 64 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,027 - Do you want to room with me again next year? 65 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,738 - Oh, my gosh, yes, I was thinking the same thing, 66 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,657 but I felt like a total loser for asking. 67 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,826 - Totally. I have zero interest in moving into the Kappa house. 68 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,203 And I like that we already know each other's quirks. 69 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,580 - Oh, what are my quirks? 70 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,748 Wait. Actually, I don't want to know. 71 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,542 - Okay. 72 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,460 But sometimes you talk to someone named Grandma Joan 73 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,254 in your sleep. - Oh, I've heard that before. 74 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,964 People gossiped a lot about it at camp. 75 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:56,301 Um, should we consider a triple and include Bela 76 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,970 or, uh, doubles and just us? 77 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,471 - Maybe we consider both? 78 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,723 - Sure. [door opens] 79 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,099 - Hey, guys. - Bela. 80 00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,601 - When the door is closed, you knock. 81 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:05,852 - It's the end of the year. 82 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,478 Those rules don't apply anymore. 83 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,772 Look at this--I'm in a magazine, and I look great. 84 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,109 - You do, sitting at the piano looking like a sexy Beethoven. 85 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,777 - Ah. - I can't wait to read it. 86 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,613 But I got to get to class. - Ugh. Fine. 87 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,489 But, Kimberly, clear out your schedule because we're gonna 88 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,199 pass these out to every student on campus. 89 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,784 - Ooh, how many copies did you grab? 90 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,537 - Like, 75. Come on. 91 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,123 Hey, read this. I'm featured on pages 31 and 32. 92 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,292 Oh, and in the table of contents. [squeals] 93 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,170 - Bela, you come off amazing in this. 94 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,963 - I know, right? 95 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,090 Dude, this could be, like, huge for my career. 96 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,551 I sent it to tina.fey at all the big emails. 97 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,762 - [gasps] I'm so happy for you. 98 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:42,889 You've been working so hard, and it's finally paying off. 99 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,474 - Thanks, man. 100 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,559 Hey, uh, have you and Whit talked about housing stuff 101 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,978 for next year yet? - Oh. Um, no. 102 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,105 What were you thinking? - I'm gonna move off-campus 103 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,066 with Evangeline and Joe from the comedy magazine. 104 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:54,984 - Oh, okay, that makes sense. - Yeah, it's gonna be great. 105 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,028 We're gonna live together, write together, 106 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,321 maybe try drugs together. 107 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,989 It's gonna be like "SNL" from the '70s 108 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,991 but, like, with way more women and nonwhites. 109 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,409 - Okay. 110 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,078 - We'll still hang out all the time, though. 111 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,537 - Yeah, for sure. - Bela! 112 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,958 This article rules. - Aw, that's so sweet. 113 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,459 Um, this is Jorja. 114 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,628 She's one of the newer writers from "The Foxy." 115 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,505 - Hey, I'd love to send you some pieces, um, 116 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,548 I've been working on and get your thoughts on them. 117 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,009 - I'd be happy to help. - Oh, my God, thank you. 118 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,554 Amazing. I'll text you later. 119 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,683 - [gasps] That was awesome. 120 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,353 You're like a campus celebrity. - I know, right? I kind of am. 121 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,230 - Ah, you're more famous than that chubby squirrel 122 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:33,815 we feed French fries to. 123 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,900 - Oh, my God, I haven't seen him in a while. 124 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,986 - Me neither. 125 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,529 - Oh, no. 126 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,407 [electronic music] 127 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,367 - Well, then with all due respect, 128 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,704 President Lacey is a giant penis who hates all women. 129 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,789 Quote me, bitch! 130 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,083 - We are making friends like usual, huh? 131 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,210 - Essex just cut our funding in half. 132 00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,212 - Seriously? - This is gonna kill us. 133 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,172 - Wait. Why would they do that? - Uh, I don't know. 134 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,758 Maybe because the cis, white, hetero, male board 135 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:04,220 doesn't care about women or trans or nonbinary folk. 136 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,555 Why don't you take a seat? 137 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,515 Help us figure out what we can do. 138 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,891 - No, I'm good. 139 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,310 I, um--I was just popping in 140 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,437 on my way to a very important Kappa event. 141 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,148 - Oh, something that no one has ever said in this building. 142 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,483 - Well, I am sure you'll find your fix, okay? 143 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,068 But for the future, 144 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,903 why don't you just let Tova handle the calls, okay? 145 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,322 They are much more likable than you. 146 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,407 - I just said that about myself. 147 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:27,994 - Good news, everyone-- guess who just made us $40 148 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,456 by donating blood at two different locations? 149 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:34,334 - Ginger, are you okay? You look really pale. 150 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:37,754 - I can't lose this place! - Okay. 151 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,256 - ♪ Yeah, I just wanna... ♪ 152 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,425 - Hey. When you're done with that work, 153 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,926 can I talk to you for a sec? - Oh, this isn't work. 154 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,386 I'm trying to figure out what it's called 155 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,346 when 4 people 69. 156 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,598 I think it's 138-ing. 157 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,224 - Well, I feel kind of weird for saying this, 158 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,770 but I think I have feelings for a coworker. 159 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:57,690 - Kimberly, I am so flattered, but I don't see you that way. 160 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,359 - This is about Canaan. I don't know what to do. 161 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,278 Obviously, I can't talk to my roommates about it 162 00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:03,780 because of Whitney and him. 163 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,615 - Listen, I totally get why you're into him. 164 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,658 Canaan is a hot boy with rippling muscles 165 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,494 and two heaping scoops of ass. 166 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,288 But you and I both know that you can't act on this. 167 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,873 It could totally blow up your friend group, 168 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,625 your rooming situation, and your work life. 169 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,251 It ain't worth it. 170 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,087 - I know, but maybe he has feelings for me, too. 171 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,713 - He does not. - How do you know? 172 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,465 - I know his type, and you're not it. 173 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,467 He told me you remind him of his third-grade teacher. 174 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,927 - Maybe she was really cool. 175 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:28,763 - He said she had cankles. - Oh, got it. 176 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,306 - And that would be you in the situation. 177 00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,350 - Yeah, I said "I got it." - I'm so sorry. 178 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,643 I feel like I shot Bambi. 179 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,686 But if I were you, I would avoid him 180 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,814 for the rest of the year and forget about it. 181 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,398 - Yeah, I know you're right. 182 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,400 - Listen, we all have crushes that we can't act on, 183 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,194 like me and the Pepsi delivery guy. 184 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:46,197 Sure, I left him Polaroids of my tits in his truck, 185 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,575 but that is as far as I'll take it because I'm a professional. 186 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,995 - Oh, I think he can hear you. - Yeah, I want him to. 187 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,413 Hey, Jorge! 188 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,416 - ♪ Yeah, we got it like that ♪ 189 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,835 ♪ Yeah, we got it like that ♪ 190 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,295 - You're declaring your major? - Yeah. 191 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,381 I'm officially on the biochemistry 192 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,007 and biophysics track. 193 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,510 - So you're gonna do the same major as your boyfriend? 194 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,554 - He is not my boyfriend. - Hmm. 195 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,806 - But I do think I'm his girlfriend--it's bad. 196 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:13,683 - Whitney, you don't like him. 197 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:17,061 You need to end this before you take 30 more classes with him 198 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,855 and end up marrying his ass. 199 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,273 - I will handle it. 200 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,275 I am going to talk to him today. 201 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,068 - Great. You've only tried to break up with him 202 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,362 two other times before, so hopefully this one will stick. 203 00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:29,615 - ♪ Duh, duh-duh, duh, duh, yeah, yeah ♪ 204 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,410 ♪ Making me go boy crazy ♪ 205 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,745 ♪ All of a sudden, baby, I... ♪ 206 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,539 - How's everyone doing? 207 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,499 - What the hell, Bela? 208 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,418 This article is entirely about you. 209 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,044 - It literally says your name 210 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,130 more than the name of our magazine. 211 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,715 How did this happen? 212 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:48,259 - I'm so sorry. I have no idea. 213 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,678 I would have assumed he would have written about all of us. 214 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:52,221 [students groan] 215 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,973 Maybe the reporter has a crush on me or something. 216 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,099 - Nice try. 217 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,559 He's seeing someone, 218 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,854 which he told me after he rejected me brutally. 219 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,106 - Then I have no idea how this happened. 220 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,192 This is so strange. 221 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,319 - It makes it look like you created "The Foxy" 222 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,737 all by yourself. 223 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,614 - Did he show this to you before he printed it? 224 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,782 - No. If he had, I would have asked him to photoshop 225 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,076 my boobs to look bigger. 226 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,536 You know what? 227 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,954 I-I'll reach out to him right now 228 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,331 and make sure he prints a retraction. 229 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,125 - It's fine. Let's just forget it. 230 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:24,921 - I don't think I can. 231 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,757 In fact, you're uninvited to my half-birthday party. 232 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,092 For those of you who are coming, 233 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,928 I'm registered at Claire's. 234 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:36,265 And I would like it if at least one of you RSVP'd. 235 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,434 You can right now vocally. 236 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,144 both: No. - Uh-uh. 237 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,189 [murmuring] - Let's get back to work. 238 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,400 ♪ ♪ 239 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,110 - There she is. 240 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,153 Hi, honey. 241 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,447 - Hi, Dad. [both chuckle] 242 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:54,075 Hey, um, can we talk about the shirt? 243 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:56,244 - Yes. I just wanted to show the world 244 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,995 how much I support you. - That's great. 245 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,790 It just makes it seem like you're proud to be a gay dad. 246 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,209 - Because I am. And I just want-- 247 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,502 Oh. 248 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,255 That's why the barista called me "zaddy." 249 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,256 Yes. 250 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,091 - Oh, sweetheart. - Hi. 251 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,802 - Oh, you look great. - Thanks. 252 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,887 - And your father told me. 253 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,681 - That I'm a lesbian? Yes, I am. 254 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:18,349 - I just wish you felt comfortable 255 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,850 telling me yourself. 256 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,186 - You are not exactly the chillest. 257 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,646 I seem to remember you crying 258 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,731 when I asked to wear sneakers on vacation. 259 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,108 - It was St. Barts. 260 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:30,319 We could have run into Lorne Michaels. 261 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,572 Well, I read several articles about what to say to you. 262 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,784 So I acknowledge your sexuality, and I love you. 263 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,327 - Love you, too. 264 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,205 So are you excited to go to the Kappa Spring Festival? 265 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,999 - Oh, honey, I have been looking forward 266 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,377 to going to this event with you since the moment you got in. 267 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,005 And I cannot wait to see which of my classmates 268 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,715 have aged poorly. [giggles] 269 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,425 - Well, you girls have fun. 270 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,926 I'm off to destroy the only copy 271 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,596 of a very hurtful op-ed I wrote in 1992. 272 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,765 [electronic music] 273 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:03,019 ♪ ♪ 274 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,353 - What are you doing? 275 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,022 - I'm sifting through a bag of beans. 276 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,607 Lila thinks she dropped an AirPod in here. 277 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,027 - Hmm. - What happened to your shirt? 278 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,279 - Oh, I tripped and spilled a gallon of oat milk on myself. 279 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,032 - Oh. Ooh. 280 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,034 - [grunts] 281 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:22,788 Oh, will I be seeing you at the Theta party tonight? 282 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,625 - No. I don't think I can make it. 283 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:26,709 - Too bad. 284 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,211 If you change your mind, text me. 285 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,421 - Yeah. 286 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:34,550 - How do I look? 287 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,927 - Dry. - Right. 288 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,221 [both laugh] See ya. 289 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,890 - ♪ Okay, okay ♪ 290 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:44,226 ♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy, I can feel your tummy ♪ 291 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,561 ♪ You can eat it for dessert ♪ 292 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,230 - There she is. - Oh, my God. 293 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,649 Hi. [groans] 294 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,609 - Ready to watch me kill this presentation? 295 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,736 Whoop-whoop. - [chuckles oddly] Yeah. 296 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,113 - Is something up? 297 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,907 - Uh... 298 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,617 yes, but don't worry about it. 299 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,952 I don't want to throw you off. We can just talk after class. 300 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,954 - No, let's talk about it now-- I'm not gonna be able to focus 301 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,748 on my experiment if you don't tell me. 302 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,250 - I think we should break up. - Shit. 303 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,337 Okay, it's not what I thought you were gonna say. 304 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,797 - I'm sorry. 305 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,840 - No, it's--it's cool. 306 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,342 We're both super busy. 307 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,302 So this is, like-- - Yeah. 308 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,304 - It's mutual. It's good. 309 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,931 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm fine. 310 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,808 Let's get in there-- as friends. 311 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,810 Come on. 312 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,270 So I'll keep titrating the solution 313 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,815 until some precipitate forms, 314 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:35,569 which according to my estimate should... 315 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,197 should, uh... 316 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,448 Sorry. 317 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,493 Lost my focus. Um... 318 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,412 - Dude, are you crying? 319 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:48,290 - No, my eyes are just really humid right now. 320 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,086 Anyway, so, if you'll focus on the bottom of the beaker, 321 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,755 you'll see... [grunts] 322 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,758 [cries] Okay, now, yes, I am crying. 323 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:01,345 I think I need a minute alone in the hallway. 324 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,015 [laughter, indistinct chatter] 325 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,475 - So, Ashlie... 326 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,644 are you excited to be Kappa president next year? 327 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,104 - Oh, my goodness, yes. 328 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,148 - You know, I was president my senior year. 329 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,649 - Mm-hmm. 330 00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,276 - And I got us a computer with the Internet on it. 331 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,486 - Oh, wow. - You did. 332 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,988 - Cool story, Mom. 333 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,532 - Buckle up, Ashlie. You're in for a lot. 334 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,033 I'm on the alumni board. 335 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,120 And every day it feels like some new crisis. 336 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,247 - A Kappa crisis? Like what? 337 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,666 Did they install unflattering lighting in the bathrooms? 338 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,419 [laughter] - No. 339 00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,254 Did you hear what happened at the Syracuse chapter? 340 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,505 - No. 341 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,007 - They banned the word "sisterhood." 342 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,175 - Why would they do that? 343 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,843 - Well, they said it's not accurate 344 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,345 and that some of their members aren't women. 345 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,347 - What? - Oh, I don't know. 346 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,932 I actually think that's a good thing, 347 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,934 you know, to create more inclusive language 348 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,686 for trans and nonbinary folks. 349 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,814 - Well, I just think if you don't see yourself as a woman, 350 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,566 then form your own group. - Mm. 351 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,276 - Let us be sisters. 352 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,528 - But how can they form their own clubs with no support 353 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,614 or funding from the school, you know? 354 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,867 - Just to be clear, my best friend is a homosexual. 355 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,160 - [gasps] Ralph? - Yes. 356 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:08,204 - Ah, love Ralph. - Isn't he funny? 357 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,372 - I know! - Sure. I'm gay, too. 358 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,082 But, um, that is actually meaningless 359 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,835 in the context of this conversation, isn't it? 360 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,630 - Leight, can I borrow you for a sec? 361 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,508 Look, I know these boomer alums 362 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,384 aren't the most up to date on things, 363 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,053 but today is sort of about getting 364 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,429 donation checks from them. 365 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,306 I promise, it's not worth engaging. 366 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:30,017 - Right, but if we don't engage with them, 367 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,477 then who is going to? 368 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,063 - Maybe just go talk to somebody else. 369 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,023 [indistinct chatter] 370 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:37,566 [electronic music] 371 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,235 - ♪ I got this feeling ♪ 372 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,237 ♪ I've been dreaming in a sequence... ♪ 373 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,531 - Oh, Zoe, I don't mean to rub it in, 374 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:46,075 but you really missed out on not going to that econ banquet 375 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,244 with Canaan. - Huh? 376 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,578 What econ banquet? 377 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,497 - The one where Canaan got that award. 378 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,332 It was so fun, and the food was so good. 379 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,833 I loaded up on soup, 380 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,169 and then I realized it was just the appetizer. 381 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,421 - Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. 382 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,173 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 383 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,550 - He said he invited you 384 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,677 before he invited me and you were busy. 385 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,097 - That definitely did not happen. 386 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,474 - Will you excuse me a moment? 387 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,892 Lila? - Hmm? 388 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,769 - You want to go to that Theta party tonight? 389 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,271 - Bitch, I've been going to go, 390 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,774 and I'm wearing a dress that makes my tits sing. 391 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,609 - Thanks again for meeting up with me. 392 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,319 - Of course. I'm happy to. 393 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,196 Oh, and thank you for meeting me during your final exam. 394 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,532 No other times worked for me. - You're just so impressive. 395 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,284 I want to learn as much as I can from you. 396 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,451 - [chuckles] 397 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,036 So I read your packet. 398 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,790 And I think you should consider quitting "The Foxy." 399 00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:36,292 - Quit? 400 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,127 - Jorja, I think you're cool and smart and funny. 401 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,962 And in that way, you really remind me of myself. 402 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,006 But not everyone who's cool and smart and funny 403 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,924 has what it takes to be a comedy writer. 404 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,342 - Okay. 405 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,803 - Oh, you know what I think you'd be great at? 406 00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,471 Advertising. - What? 407 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,390 - I bet you could write really cute commercials 408 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,976 for, like, cleaning products or, like, a clever yogurt ad. 409 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,562 - I'm not really interested in that. 410 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,481 Do you seriously not have any feedback for me 411 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,858 on anything I wrote? 412 00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,568 - I could tell you all the things 413 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,820 that didn't really work in here, but I just don't think 414 00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:06,989 that's a good use of either of our time. 415 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,532 - Wow. 416 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,993 At least you're honest. - Always. You got this, Jorja. 417 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,787 I mean, not this but something else. 418 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,709 Oh, did you want me to throw this away for you? 419 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:22,880 ♪ ♪ 420 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,758 - Thank you so much for these. They're gonna do a lot of good. 421 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,385 Kappa kisses. [smooches] 422 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,762 Bye. 423 00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:32,723 [laughter, indistinct chatter] 424 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,391 - Honey? - Hmm? 425 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,519 - Are you okay? You've been quiet all day. 426 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,855 - Yeah, I don't know. Uh... 427 00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,440 I, um... 428 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,276 I don't think I want this anymore. 429 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,279 - Oh, sweetie, here. What is going on? 430 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,615 - I wanted to be in Kappa just like you, 431 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,910 but I don't feel like me when I'm here. 432 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,204 - I think you've just changed. 433 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,247 And that's okay. - I'm really sorry. 434 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,957 I know how bad that you wanted this for me. 435 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,710 And I just didn't want to let you down. 436 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,379 - Oh, no, no, stop. 437 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,880 I just want you to be happy. 438 00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:07,716 If you don't want to be in Kappa, then don't. 439 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,344 Life is too short to waste on things 440 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,596 that don't bring you happiness. 441 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,266 That's why we don't see Grandma anymore. 442 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,518 - I love you, Mom. 443 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,228 - Oh, I love you so much, Leighton. 444 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:22,481 - Lovely to see you, Mimi. - Oh, always a pleasure, Mona. 445 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,941 Kappa kisses. 446 00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:26,610 Oh, what a dumb whore, am I right? 447 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,153 - [laughs] Oh, my God. 448 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,446 - You know, she once asked me 449 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,407 how to spell the word "biscuit." 450 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,534 - Mom, you are such a bitch. 451 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,120 Oh, my God, we would have been good friends in college. 452 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,871 - Oh, for sure, we would have been. 453 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,416 - ♪ Can't hear what you're saying ♪ 454 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,626 - Last pregame of freshman year. 455 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,920 Let's go! all: Yeah! 456 00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,338 - Whoo! 457 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,173 - ♪ Just lose that attitude ♪ 458 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:51,468 ♪ You know, you know you got to lose that attitude ♪ 459 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,220 ♪ Yeah ♪ 460 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:56,765 ♪ Give me, give me all that I like ♪ 461 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,308 - God, I can't believe this is the last shot 462 00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,727 we'll take in this room-- I could cry. 463 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,978 - Guys, can I just say that this is 464 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,354 the hottest we've ever looked? 465 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,605 I mean, Whitney, that dress-- 466 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,441 serving purple and serving tits? 467 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,859 You look like a sexy Barney. - [laughs] 468 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,277 - Thank you. Thank you. 469 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,695 Listen, I'm single, 470 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,405 and I'm ready to end this year with a bang. 471 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,282 - Ow! - Okay, well, I am just excited 472 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,410 to have fun with my girls. - Aw, me too. 473 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:17,619 - Holy shit. 474 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,329 - Hmm? - Guys, stop! 475 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,582 - What's wrong? - I'm getting canceled. 476 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,041 - What? - This girl from "The Foxy" 477 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,960 is blasting my ass on social media. 478 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,879 - I'm sure it's not that bad. - Yeah. 479 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,380 - "Five things I learned 480 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,133 at Essex's so-called feminist comedy magazine." 481 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,927 - Maybe it's a nice post. She said she learned things. 482 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:37,890 - "Bela Malhotra is a misogynistic comedy dictator 483 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:41,143 who hates all women, including herself"? 484 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,561 Fuck, this is so bad. 485 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,188 Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to quit comedy 486 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,398 and become a pharmacist like all my dumb cousins. 487 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,317 - There has to be a misunderstanding. 488 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,778 - Yeah, agreed. I mean, you definitely don't hate yourself. 489 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,196 If anything, you like yourself too much. 490 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:53,572 - Exactly. 491 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,157 - Listen, just talk to this girl tomorrow 492 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,700 and smooth it over. - Yeah. 493 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,494 - You don't need to let it ruin your night. 494 00:17:58,577 --> 00:17:59,953 - I'm with Whitney. 495 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,622 I mean, the girl has, like, 40 followers, okay? 496 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,332 Nobody will ever see that. - Yeah, you're right. 497 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,083 All right, um, let's take one more shot before we go. 498 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,293 - Yes! - Thank you. 499 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,878 - That's what I'm talking about. 500 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,421 - Or we could take a five-minute nap and then go. 501 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,340 - Are you fucking kidding me? - All right. 502 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:14,760 - ♪ Is it desire? ♪ 503 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:18,096 [indistinct chatter] 504 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,849 ♪ ♪ 505 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,268 - Shit! This party is going off! 506 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,063 - My favorite bitches! 507 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,397 - What's up? - Yeah! 508 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,358 Welcome to the Dare or Dare Party. 509 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,193 You are obligated to do the dare 510 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,486 written on the bottom of your cup. 511 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,363 - Oh! - What kind of dares? 512 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,823 - Oh, I read them all. 513 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,324 On this side of the table, they're horny. 514 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,117 And here, they're just plain nasty. 515 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,578 I took one of both. - Oh. 516 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,205 - "Smash face with a redhead"? 517 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,415 - Ooh, I want that one. - Okay. 518 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,584 - Thank you. - Damn it, Jocelyn. 519 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,754 I'm not gonna jiggle a stranger's tit at this party. 520 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,422 - "Twerk"? I can't twerk. 521 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,591 I wasn't allowed to dance with my bottom half growing up. 522 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,219 We don't actually have to do these, do we? 523 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,305 - Oh, Jocelyn seems to think we do. 524 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,891 [laughter] - Oh, my God. 525 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,853 - That is a lot of tongue. 526 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,064 - I brushed my teeth so good tonight. 527 00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:12,276 I am 1,000% making out with someone at this party. 528 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,902 Ooh, let's pick out some hotties 529 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,404 and wing-woman each other hard. 530 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,365 - Ooh, okay, okay, sure. Let's see my options. 531 00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:19,950 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 532 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:24,079 Oh, we got a guy slurping a Taco Bell Fire Sauce packet 533 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,207 and a dude who's dancing tragically off the beat. 534 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,668 Yeah, I don't think any of these guys are my type. 535 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:33,463 [chuckles] - So what are you looking for? 536 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,591 - Um... 537 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,428 - I will let you know when I see it. 538 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,596 [chuckles] 539 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:46,184 ♪ ♪ 540 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,270 - Hey. - Hey. 541 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,938 - I thought you said you weren't coming? 542 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,441 - Uh, turns out I am and did. - What are you doing? 543 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,110 - Um, trying to find a cup with a dare I actually want to do. 544 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:58,405 This one says "motorboat Lila," and it has her phone number. 545 00:19:58,488 --> 00:19:59,948 - Yeah, she definitely wrote that one. 546 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,367 Can you just be a good citizen and throw it out? 547 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,911 [laughter] 548 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:07,205 Wait. What's that one? - Uh... 549 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,666 "Kiss a stranger." 550 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,293 - That one's not a bad one. 551 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,128 - Well, we both know each other, 552 00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:15,505 so you're in the clear, sir. 553 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,258 - Yeah. [both chuckle] 554 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,510 - Yo, Canaan! 555 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,972 - Oh, my friends just got here, so I'm--I'ma-- 556 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,183 - Yeah, of course. Go. - Yeah. Okay, all right. 557 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,476 - Yeah. 558 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,186 - ♪ I'm okay ♪ 559 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:33,482 ♪ Yeah, I'm happy I need someone ♪ 560 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,902 - Ginger, love that you're wearing a long coat indoors. 561 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:39,863 - Thank you. It belonged to my elderly neighbor. 562 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,156 But I can't stay long. 563 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,116 I gave blood twice again this evening, 564 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,826 so I am feeling weak. 565 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,996 Also, I do not like the way that guy is looking at me. 566 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,710 - Why don't you go sit down? - Okay. 567 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,963 - I'll go deal with that later. - You sure she's good? 568 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,297 - She's fine. - [chuckles] 569 00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,676 - So how is Kappa? - Um, I quit. 570 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,052 - Oh, no. 571 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,596 Did you find an even blonder place to live? 572 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,057 Wait. Are you being serious? - I am. 573 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,935 I decided I would rather spend my time at the Women's Center, 574 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:13,981 you know, with, um, people I actually like. 575 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,983 - If this is because you vandalized another statue 576 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,194 and got community service, I will find out. 577 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,531 - Um, also, I have this. 578 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,659 ♪ ♪ 579 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,369 - Holy shit. 580 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,037 $30,000? 581 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,831 - My mom was gonna donate it to Kappa, 582 00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:33,834 so I told her where it would do better things. 583 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:36,545 - This is going to completely save us. 584 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:40,132 ♪ ♪ 585 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:42,384 I am so sorry. I should not have done that. 586 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,885 - No, no, no, no. No, you should have. 587 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,762 - What about your girl Tatum? 588 00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,097 - I ended things with her 589 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,890 the night of your fundraiser, actually. 590 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,767 - Because of how hot I looked in my Elton John costume? 591 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,394 - [laughs] - You know, I still have that. 592 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,439 I could go get that right now. - Shut up. 593 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:59,818 - ♪ I'm happy I need your love ♪ 594 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:04,197 ♪ I'm happy I want your love ♪ 595 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:07,159 ♪ Yeah, I'm happy I need someone ♪ 596 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:09,411 - Canaan, are you leaving? 597 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:12,622 - Uh, Yeah, a bunch of us are headed to a party on Edgewood. 598 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:13,915 You want to come with? 599 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,210 ♪ ♪ 600 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:20,422 [indistinct shouting] 601 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:23,091 - No. I'm gonna stay. 602 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:26,261 Have fun. - Okay, bye. 603 00:22:26,344 --> 00:22:29,264 - ♪ Run away, run away ♪ 604 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:31,767 ♪ Ru--ru--run away ♪ 605 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,811 ♪ Run away, yeah ♪ 606 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,647 ♪ ♪ 607 00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:40,734 - Bela. - Hey! 608 00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:42,611 Oh, there's a couch here that they're trying to get rid of. 609 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,571 Should we take it for the house next year? 610 00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:45,739 They call it the sperm bank, 611 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:47,115 but we don't have to call it that. 612 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,701 - That post from Jorja is so messed up. 613 00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,120 - I know. Huge overreaction, right? 614 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,789 Comedy writers need to have a thick skin. 615 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,415 Look at all the stuff that happened to me 616 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:56,625 in "The Catullan." 617 00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:58,335 - Dude, we're not agreeing with you. 618 00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,170 - What happened to you at "The Catullan" was horrible, 619 00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:02,839 and our magazine was created to be a better alternative 620 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,049 to that toxic shit. 621 00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:05,801 - Don't you remember? 622 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:08,303 I mean, since you were the one who created our group. 623 00:23:08,386 --> 00:23:10,514 - Wait. Is that what this is about? 624 00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:12,265 You guys are just mad that I'm still getting 625 00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:13,725 too much credit in that article. 626 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:16,103 - We talked to the reporter, Bela. 627 00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:18,647 - He showed you the article. You lied to us. 628 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:22,526 - That article was one thing. That was normal, selfish Bela. 629 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:25,278 But being that brutal to Jorja, it's not okay. 630 00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,531 - And what Jorja put online about you, 631 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,158 I'd say it was pretty fucking well written. 632 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,744 - You're fired from "The Foxy." - What? 633 00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,704 - Clearly, you're the only person 634 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:37,040 who lives up to your own comedy standards. 635 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:40,043 So go be funny alone. - No, please don't do this. 636 00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:42,587 It's gonna make living together super awkward next year. 637 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,173 - We gave your room to Carla. - Wait. We did? 638 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,259 Oh. - We did. 639 00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:49,469 - Fine. - Wait, guy-- 640 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:51,513 ♪ ♪ 641 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,223 Fuck. 642 00:23:53,306 --> 00:23:54,599 [all cheering] 643 00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:57,519 - Hey, Lila, uh, can I ask you a question? 644 00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,354 - I'm not currently taking any questions. 645 00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:01,565 My cup said I had to find 50 people to kiss, 646 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:04,109 and I've only found 34. - [chuckles] 647 00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:06,695 - Okay, 35. - Happy to help. 648 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:08,822 Have you seen Canaan? - He left a little bit ago. 649 00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:10,949 - Okay. - Ooh, but if you see him, 650 00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:12,701 let him know that he's gonna open up Sips tomorrow 651 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:14,536 because I do plan on calling out sick to myself. 652 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:16,746 - [chuckles] Okay. - Mm-hmm. 653 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:18,748 Bye, 35. 654 00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:19,833 Mm. 655 00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:22,711 Hi, number 36. You're cute. 656 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:25,255 Do you like your women much, much taller than you? 657 00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:28,341 [soft acoustic guitar music] 658 00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:34,222 ♪ ♪ 659 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:37,017 - ♪ Oh, there she goes again ♪ 660 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:40,061 ♪ Every morning it's the same ♪ 661 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,813 ♪ You walk on by... ♪ 662 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:45,025 - Canaan! - Hey. 663 00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:46,401 - Hey. 664 00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:49,237 Um, can I talk to you for a sec? 665 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,864 - Yeah. 666 00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:53,241 Y'all go on. I'll catch up with you. 667 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,076 What's up? - You lied. 668 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,038 - I lied? About what? - Zoe. 669 00:24:58,121 --> 00:24:59,748 You never invited her to that event. 670 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:00,916 She told me. 671 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,542 Why would you lie? 672 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,211 - That's a great question-- 673 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:06,755 because that lie would make no sense. 674 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:11,635 - You wanted me to go with you. You invited me first. 675 00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:13,929 - ♪ Can't wait anymore... ♪ 676 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:16,598 - Fine. I did. 677 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:19,392 You trying to embarrass me or something? 678 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:22,979 ♪ In my dreams, you're with me ♪ 679 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:27,442 ♪ We'll be everything I want us to be ♪ 680 00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:29,611 ♪ For the first time ♪ 681 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:34,532 ♪ Or is that just me and my imagination? ♪ 682 00:25:34,616 --> 00:25:36,576 ♪ We walk, we laugh ♪ 683 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:40,455 ♪ We spend our time walking by the oceanside ♪ 684 00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:43,458 ♪ Our hands are gently intertwined ♪ 685 00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:46,002 ♪ A feeling I just can't describe ♪ 686 00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,964 ♪ And all this time we spent alone... ♪ 687 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,132 - So I have some news. 688 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,426 Alicia and I are back together. 689 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:55,262 - And I'm not gonna lie. - Mm. 690 00:25:55,345 --> 00:25:58,139 - I am really happy about it. - Aw. 691 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,100 - Yay. - Wait. 692 00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,643 So, if you're not moving into Kappa 693 00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:03,228 and Bela's not living off-campus anymore, 694 00:26:03,311 --> 00:26:04,980 then we could all live together next year-- 695 00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:07,315 I mean, if you all want. 696 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:08,650 - You know what? I'm down. 697 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,194 - What about you, Bela? - Um... 698 00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:13,655 Yeah, sorry. I'm just a little distracted this morning. 699 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:15,657 - Is this still about that girl from the magazine? 700 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:17,534 Why don't you just talk to her, right? 701 00:26:17,617 --> 00:26:19,619 I'm sure she would be open to hearing you out. 702 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,580 - Yeah, totally. I have a meeting about it at, uh, 10:15. 703 00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:23,623 - Oh, great. - Great. 704 00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,417 - Okay, good. I'm glad. 705 00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,838 - So, Kimberly, how was your night? 706 00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:31,506 Anything interesting happen? 707 00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:37,012 - No, not really. 708 00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:41,182 [Skullcrusher's "Whatever Fits Together"] 709 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:46,313 - ♪ I left home in the summer ♪ 710 00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,189 - You can really taste the peach in this one. 711 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:49,190 - Yeah. 712 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,859 - Hey. - Hey. 713 00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:53,570 Um, so I heard Leighton turned down that room for next year. 714 00:26:53,653 --> 00:26:56,239 - Yeah. - I want it. 715 00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:58,742 - Okay. Take a seat. 716 00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:01,453 - ♪ When I hugged my brother ♪ 717 00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,580 - I was rude and disrespectful, 718 00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:05,457 and I feel awful about it. 719 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:09,085 I came to Essex for "The Catullan." 720 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:11,713 That blew up. [chuckles] 721 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:13,131 Um... 722 00:27:13,214 --> 00:27:16,801 I, um, got kicked out of this new group. 723 00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:19,387 No one wants to work with me. 724 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:23,099 I have a 1.8 GPA. 725 00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:27,854 I broke an amazing guy's heart by being selfish. 726 00:27:29,522 --> 00:27:31,775 All I want is for people to like me, 727 00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:36,279 but, um, I just keep hurting people instead. 728 00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:40,158 So I'd like to transfer. 729 00:27:40,241 --> 00:27:41,910 [sighs] 730 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,245 [chuckles, sniffles] 731 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:49,042 - ♪ Do I want? ♪ 732 00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:55,757 ♪ I awoke in a warm bath ♪ 733 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,928 ♪ With words still in my head ♪ 734 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:05,100 ♪ ♪ 735 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:10,939 ♪ They remain unspoken ♪ 736 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:12,440 ♪ ♪ 737 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:16,152 ♪ And follow me to death ♪ 738 00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:20,865 ♪ ♪ 739 00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:27,122 ♪ What do I want? ♪ 740 00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:31,751 ♪ Do I want ♪ 741 00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:33,920 ♪ ♪ 742 00:28:34,003 --> 00:28:36,548 ♪ Anything? ♪ 743 00:28:36,631 --> 00:28:43,721 ♪ ♪ 744 00:28:59,737 --> 00:29:05,577 ♪ Do you ever look back? ♪ 745 00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:08,163 ♪ ♪ 746 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:10,373 - Go to bed.