1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:06,716 --> 00:00:09,093 That is the sexiest fucking thing I've ever heard. 2 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,721 - You had a one-night stand? - I know. 3 00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,723 I've never done anything like that before. 4 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:16,017 You know those girls that are, like, confident? 5 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,393 - Yeah, I hate them. - Me too. 6 00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:19,687 I just pretended to be one of them. 7 00:00:19,771 --> 00:00:23,816 Okay, I walked right up to him and decided to be that bitch! 8 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,109 I don't know. 9 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,319 I still think sex is better 10 00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:27,820 when it's with someone you love, 11 00:00:27,904 --> 00:00:29,405 and it's an expression of your commitment. 12 00:00:29,489 --> 00:00:31,866 - Ow, damn it! - That is so boring, Kimberly. 13 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,160 I'm with you, Whitney. Sex is better with strangers. 14 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:37,955 - End of story. - That is not what I said. 15 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,337 - What? - First of all, good morning. 16 00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,506 And second of all, where were you last night? 17 00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:49,342 Oh, my God, she had a one-night stand too! 18 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,135 Fuck, I'm so lame. 19 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,678 You ditched us last night, 20 00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:54,514 and you ignored 20 texts from Kimberly. 21 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:56,057 And I'm on a limited data plan. 22 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,518 - They still have those? - Uh, yeah. They do. 23 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:00,770 And so, now if someone texts me, what do I do? 24 00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,188 I have to respond with an email 25 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:03,731 or just hope that I run into them. 26 00:01:03,815 --> 00:01:06,651 Okay, look, I know that we are all roommates, 27 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,361 but that does not mean that I have to tell you 28 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,279 where I'm going and what I'm doing. 29 00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:12,281 Okay, we literally met, like, three days ago. 30 00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:13,950 I don't even remember your last names. 31 00:01:14,033 --> 00:01:16,244 Well, my last name, it's Finkle-- Kimberly Finkle. 32 00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:18,538 And last night, Kimberly Finkle was worried 33 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:20,706 that Leighton Murray got human-trafficked. 34 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,416 - Okay, Kim. - What? It happens. 35 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,252 - They snatch girls. - Okay. 36 00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,003 Okay. You're right. I get it. 37 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:28,881 I understand that as a pretty, blonde woman, I am a target. 38 00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:31,634 How did this become a compliment to you? 39 00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:37,723 From now on, I will tell you when I am not coming home 40 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,601 but no more details beyond that, okay? 41 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,228 No, I will not agree to that. 42 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,397 I came to college to hear about my roommates' sexploits, 43 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,774 so sit down and tell us who was inside you! 44 00:01:46,858 --> 00:01:47,900 - Ugh! - Bela. 45 00:01:47,984 --> 00:01:49,151 No! 46 00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:50,695 Why am I the only fun one around here? 47 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:08,295 I'm so excited that classes are finally starting. 48 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:11,549 Oh, God, you were, like, valedictorian or some shit. 49 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,009 - Weren't you? - I was. 50 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:16,262 And the salutatorian's GPA wasn't even close. 51 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,806 - What classes are you taking? - I literally don't even know. 52 00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:21,601 I just signed up for anything that started with "intro." 53 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,936 Oh, I'm over there. I'll catch you later, okay? 54 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,104 - Bye! - Bye! 55 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,690 ♪ Live without me ♪ 56 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:32,194 ♪ You can live without a loss ♪ 57 00:02:32,278 --> 00:02:34,780 ♪ Secretly you're burning through my veins ♪ 58 00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:38,910 ♪ Like an overdose, overdose ♪ 59 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,871 ♪ You're telling me that I can ease the pain ♪ 60 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:44,457 ♪ With your overdose, overdose ♪ 61 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:46,459 Oh, hi! Leighton's brother, Nico! 62 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,502 Hey. 63 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:51,172 - Morning. - Morning. Happy FDOC. 64 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,924 - Huh? - First day of classes. 65 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:55,384 Oh, right. 66 00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:56,677 So how was the rest of your night? 67 00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:59,305 - It got kind of nuts. - Nice! 68 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,016 Yeah, I drank way too much and woke up somewhere 69 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,435 I definitely shouldn't have been. 70 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,270 - You know how it goes. - Yeah, for sure. 71 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,648 I'm always doing that. I never wake up in my own bed. 72 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,149 Oh, shit, 73 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,652 are you taking French Revolution and Romanticism? 74 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,904 - I am! Are you? - No, I did last year. 75 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,614 - Oh. - That class is legit, though. 76 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,990 You must really like French. 77 00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:19,992 I do. It's kind of my best subject. 78 00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:21,911 In high school, I won a certificate that was signed 79 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:24,664 by the lieutenant governor of Arizona, no big deal. 80 00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:25,998 All right. 81 00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:29,460 - Well, I'd better go. - Okay. 82 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,213 Hey, Happy FDOC. 83 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,339 You remembered! 84 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,140 ♪ Never took your side ♪ 85 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,851 ♪ Never curse your name ♪ 86 00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:48,562 ♪ I keep my lips shut tight ♪ 87 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,857 ♪ Until you go ♪ 88 00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:54,318 ♪ We've come as far ♪ 89 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,153 ♪ As we're ever gonna get ♪ 90 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:59,490 - Hello? - ♪ Go, foxes, go ♪ 91 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,535 ♪ Fight on for Essex ♪ 92 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,787 ♪ Shout it out loud ♪ 93 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,414 Okay, I'm hanging up. 94 00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:07,873 My daughter, she goes to Essex! 95 00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:09,208 - Okay, bye. - No, no, no. 96 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,710 Don't hang up. Don't hang up. 97 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,712 How are ya? Are you loving it, or what? 98 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,380 Yeah. I don't know. It's fine. 99 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,798 What do you mean "fine"? 100 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,591 Honey, it's the first week of college. 101 00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:21,137 It's, like, probably the best seven days of your whole life! 102 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,638 What are you talking about? 103 00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:24,557 Did you make up with Esme and Francesca yet? 104 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,559 What? No, no, I don't even think about them anymore. 105 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:29,186 They can live their lives, and I can live mine. 106 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,188 Well, that's great, honey. I'm glad. 107 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,483 What else? Have you--have you met any cute boys, or what? 108 00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:37,361 Yeah, a few. I'm actually already pregnant, 109 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,613 and I have no idea who the father is. 110 00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:41,741 Honey, no, no, no. 111 00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:43,951 What did we say about that joke? 112 00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:45,911 It is a joke, right? 113 00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:48,080 Look, I got to go, but I love you, okay? 114 00:04:48,164 --> 00:04:49,415 Okay. I love you too. 115 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,000 But seriously, you were joking, right? 116 00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,626 Seriously, please don't get pregnant! 117 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,590 ♪ I'm in misery, but you can't seem ♪ 118 00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:58,841 ♪ As old as your omens ♪ 119 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,427 - Yeah! Aw. - I love it so much. 120 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:04,555 ♪ We share never keep your prayer hands ♪ 121 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,766 ♪ From falling ♪ 122 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,937 Esme, Esme's roommate. 123 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:14,273 Leighton, wait. How have you been? 124 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,984 Francesca and I were worried about you. 125 00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:18,444 I have been amazing. 126 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:20,362 Actually, my new roommates are phenomenal. 127 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:21,697 We all get along so well. 128 00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:24,408 Um, would you like to sit with us? 129 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,285 Oh, that's so sweet, but actually, 130 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,913 a bunch of new friends I made are saving me a seat. 131 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,832 Hi! Hey. 132 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:35,336 Yeah, they're so cute, but thank you. 133 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,297 Well, I am happy you're doing well. 134 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,965 Same. Same to you. 135 00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:41,759 I'll see you both at graduation? 136 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,052 If you make it! 137 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:46,514 Welcome to Math 350. 138 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:50,976 We're going to start today off with a quick assessment test. 139 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,020 Yay. 140 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:58,025 All right. Nice pass. Switch it. 141 00:05:58,109 --> 00:06:00,778 Jena to Whitney. Come on. Get clear. 142 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:01,987 Nice! 143 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:05,658 Hey! 144 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:06,992 That's you, Jena! That's you! 145 00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:08,661 - Go, go, go, go, go! - Over here! 146 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,663 Here, here! 147 00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:16,210 Oh! Motherfucker! 148 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:19,755 Sorry. My bad. 149 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:21,298 What the hell kind of a shot was that? 150 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,883 I was open. 151 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:29,265 You have a fucking wife?! 152 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,766 Okay, I swear. I was going to tell you. 153 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,476 When, Dalton? When? When we were fucking 154 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,687 on your sofa, or when we were fucking in your car? 155 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,355 It's complicated. Michelle and I have been 156 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,482 - having problems, and so-- - Oh, you have? 157 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,317 Oh, my God. Is one of you cheating? 158 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,027 I'm trying to be honest with you right now! 159 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:44,196 Oh, you want honesty? Okay, you're a fucking creep. 160 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,282 I'm a fucking catch. Never speak to me again. 161 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:47,741 Whitney, please stop. 162 00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,660 Michelle and I haven't slept together in months. 163 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,037 We're barely married anymore, okay? 164 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,706 I think what you and I have is real. 165 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,791 Please don't throw it away because I haven't found 166 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,334 the right time to end things with her. 167 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,086 Do whatever you want. You and I are done. 168 00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:00,838 - Will you just not-- - And this better not 169 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,965 - affect my playing time! - Okay, okay. 170 00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:06,468 Fuck. 171 00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:09,388 Bonjour. 172 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:10,973 - Bonjour. - Bonjour. 173 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,936 Kimberly. 174 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,817 I think this class is too advanced for you. 175 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,277 I suggest that you drop it. 176 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,029 What? But French is my best subject. 177 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,823 I--I know I didn't do great today, 178 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,992 but I can catch up. I'm--I'm sure of it. 179 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,827 Well, ultimately the decision is yours, 180 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,204 but I promise I am suggesting this 181 00:08:57,288 --> 00:08:59,999 because it is best for you. 182 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,668 You are not ready. 183 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,129 ♪ We give meaning to frivolous things ♪ 184 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,173 ♪ And call them necessary have-to-haves ♪ 185 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:10,634 ♪ Like pricey purses and the latest Benzes ♪ 186 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,177 ♪ And the newest gadgets ♪ 187 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,679 Welcome to the to the Catullan. 188 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,222 You eight should be proud of yourselves 189 00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:16,849 for making it through the first cut. 190 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,684 - You're officially funny. - Or at least marginally 191 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,936 funnier than the unfunny people who we've already cut. 192 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:23,188 Hi, Bela Malhotra. I've been working on this piece 193 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,940 where Billie Eilish raps a warranty page 194 00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:26,775 of a printer manual. It goes like this. 195 00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:28,277 Well, I--I'm sorry. 196 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,362 Were our unspoken rules not clear enough here? 197 00:09:30,446 --> 00:09:31,989 New members aren't allowed to pitch yet. 198 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,407 For the next six weeks, 199 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,034 you'll be interning as our support staff. 200 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,785 If I want Bark Thins and a mocha, 201 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,996 you will get me Bark Thins and a mocha. 202 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,372 And don't be cute and try to write 203 00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:41,874 a funny name on my cup. You will be cut. 204 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,043 Uh, I'm confused. Are we not writers? 205 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,378 Not yet. Those of you who are still around in October 206 00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:48,339 will submit your final pieces for consideration. 207 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,174 But, for now, let's celebrate your small, 208 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,593 recent accomplishment and the long, unrelenting road ahead 209 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,470 with a little bit of snacks and chitchat. 210 00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,316 Hey, uh, Evangeline, can I talk to you for a moment? 211 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,610 Sure. I'll catch up with you guys later. 212 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,695 - Yeah. - Don't worry about it. 213 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,908 Hey. I know you and I got off on the wrong foot, and I-- 214 00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,327 I don't want things to be weird between us. 215 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,204 I sent you an email, apologizing. 216 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,705 - Did you get it? - I did. 217 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,207 I thought I wrote you back. 218 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,958 Oh, maybe it got stuck in my outbox. 219 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,460 It happens. 220 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,545 Ah, yep. It did. 221 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:29,713 Okay. 222 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,340 Here. Just sent it! 223 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,597 Did you get it? 224 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,474 - I--I did. - Great. 225 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:51,693 Hey, so what did you guys think 226 00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,195 of your first day of classes? 227 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,696 Like, was it easier than you expected, 228 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,782 or harder, or, like, way harder? 229 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:57,866 - Easier. - Easy. 230 00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,493 Easier, not harder? 231 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,286 - both: Easier. - Yeah, yeah, I know. 232 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,122 I thought this place was supposed to be hard, 233 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,707 but my public school education definitely prepared me for it, 234 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:06,959 definitely. 235 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,627 Like, I'm gonna go do my homework, 236 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,504 and I'll probably be done in, like, four seconds. 237 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,798 But, you know, you've just got to laugh, right? 238 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,967 Like, it's just--it's funny. 239 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,889 - Was that weird? - Hmm? 240 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,641 Oh, I wasn't really listening. 241 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,944 Uh, Miss Murray, can I talk to you 242 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,654 about yesterday's assessment test? 243 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,197 Before you say anything, you should know 244 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,658 that my father did pay for this building. 245 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,452 Okay. Uh, noted. 246 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,203 What I was going to say is that you got 247 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:46,290 the highest score in the class. 248 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,666 Wait, really? 249 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,460 - I did the best? - Yeah. 250 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,546 Wow. I mean, I would have thought everyone did well. 251 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,506 It was so stupid and easy. 252 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:56,383 Mm, okay. Well, that's kind of insulting. 253 00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:59,845 Regardless, you need to be in a much higher-level class. 254 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,306 Also, I want to increase the number of women 255 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,682 in my seminar. 256 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,477 To one. So would you consider moving up? 257 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:11,023 Sure. On one condition. 258 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,275 Based on yesterday's placement test, 259 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,695 one extraordinary student has been selected 260 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,280 to join my advanced section, 261 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:22,201 and that student is Leighton Murray. 262 00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:25,829 She is a charming and dynamic young woman 263 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:30,542 who seems like a wonderful friend who you'd hate to lose. 264 00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:31,919 Now we know that 265 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:36,715 she is objectively the smartest person here. 266 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:38,133 Congrats, Leighton. 267 00:12:38,217 --> 00:12:41,887 Hashtag, on to bigger and better things. 268 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,014 ♪ Never met a pill I didn't know how to take ♪ 269 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,016 ♪ But that was getting old, I had to give it a break ♪ 270 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,393 ♪ I never met an emotion I didn't know how to fake ♪ 271 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:51,480 ♪ But now I'm getting older, and I want to be straight ♪ 272 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:54,358 Hey, Jena. I love those toe shoes. 273 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,109 Hey, Willow. 274 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:59,821 Damn, that look she gave you was true hatred. 275 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,240 I would have cried. 276 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,242 - What are you up to tonight? - Nothing. 277 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,494 I'm doing nothing in my apartment, by myself. 278 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,704 Willow, why are you being weird? 279 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,122 I am not being weird. 280 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:11,750 You're totally being weird. What's going on? 281 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,503 I'm going to Jena's house with the rest of the team. 282 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,047 Are you serious? She invited everyone but me? 283 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,632 No, no. She did not! 284 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,300 She also didn't invite Brittany. 285 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:22,970 - Who's Brittany? - She's studying abroad. 286 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,721 Ah, don't worry! 287 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:28,225 I'll go tonight and talk up how chill you are. 288 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,977 I'll fix this! 289 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,311 - Okay. - Okay. 290 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:32,563 Thank you. 291 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,275 Oh, I don't know, man. 292 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,776 I just thought college would be 293 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,444 a lot more fun and crazy than it's been so far. 294 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:40,904 - Yeah. - I've been here six days. 295 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,197 I've made multiple enemies, 296 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,865 and I've had zero three-way kisses. 297 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,909 What are you talking about? I mean, two weeks ago, 298 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:49,746 I was in Ohio, and tonight I'm going to a naked party. 299 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,456 Not many of those in Akron. 300 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:54,668 - I'm sorry, what? - Oh, Akron is a city in Ohio. 301 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,129 Bitch, you know that's not the detail that I want! 302 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,592 Oh, my God, Travis. It's looking so good! 303 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,635 - Yeah. - What is going on in here? 304 00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:05,012 - It smells awful. - Ugh! 305 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,680 Yeah, Travis is contouring my body. 306 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,849 He's using makeup to subtly enhance my banging bod. 307 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,142 - It's impressive, right? - Yeah. 308 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,435 Nobody has that many abs. 309 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,978 Yeah, those lines are way too dark. 310 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,396 All right? You look like xylophone. 311 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,148 Uh, check yourself. These are 312 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,859 professional-grade tools that I bought gently used on eBay. 313 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,569 Yeah, but why are you doing this? 314 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,614 Because I'm going to a naked party! 315 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,365 - Huh? - To a what? 316 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:28,035 - So you're going to an orgy? - No, no, no. It's not an orgy! 317 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:30,454 It's a normal party, except with naked people. 318 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,664 And I'm not going to it. We're going to it. 319 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:33,874 Travis, could you move to my back 320 00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,292 while I address my roommates? 321 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,210 I have come up with undeniable reasons 322 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,796 why each of you should join me and party nude. 323 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,798 - Leighton, you're first. - You are not 324 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,675 going to convince me to go! I'm going to head out. 325 00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:45,385 - Where are you going? - Oh, I'm sorry. 326 00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:47,012 Did I forget to mention where I was going? 327 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,514 Right, I didn't, because it's none of your business. 328 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,099 Bye. 329 00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:52,643 Savage. 330 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,814 - Whitney Chase. - Yeah, I can't make it. 331 00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,483 Why is everyone opposed to this party? 332 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,277 Because it sounds weird, Bela! 333 00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:05,030 Fine. Kimberly, it's just us two. 334 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,074 - Mm-hmm. - Men have objectified 335 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,409 women's bodies for tens, if not hundreds of years. 336 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:12,120 Bela, I'm sorry. I can't make time for this. 337 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,413 Why can't you make time for this? 338 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:15,040 - I just can't. - Wha--what-- 339 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:19,920 Why is there a tan ass-print on our couch? 340 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:23,882 What you should be asking is, why aren't there four? 341 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,066 What? 342 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,275 Ugh. 343 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,950 God, you're so much hotter than your profile. 344 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,743 It's like a reverse catfish. 345 00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:52,869 Thanks. 346 00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:55,414 I'm--I'm so sorry. 347 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,707 Does this car seat come out? 348 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:57,999 It's really digging into my boob. 349 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,334 Oh, it's, like, a whole thing 350 00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:01,044 - to remove it, you know-- - It's fine. 351 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,212 Let's just-- 352 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,719 Hey, do you go to Essex? 353 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,095 How--how did you know that? 354 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,930 Uh, your keychain? 355 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,934 What's wrong? 356 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,979 - Are you not out? - No, I'm-- 357 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,689 I'm sorry. How is that any of your business? 358 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,649 I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just surprised. 359 00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:24,276 In fact, kids your age came out when they're, 360 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,403 like, six years old. Isn't it cool to be gay now? 361 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,613 Oh, my God. 362 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,282 - Did I upset you? - Uh, no. 363 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:33,869 No, it's just you have no idea what you are talking about. 364 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,164 - When did you come out? - In high school. 365 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,541 So for someone like you, I'm sure coming out 366 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,084 probably made you more interesting, 367 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,836 but, for me, I was popular, 368 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,713 so I actually have something to lose. 369 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:48,550 It's hard to find the courage to come out, but it's worth it. 370 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:49,968 Maybe for you. 371 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,970 I don't want being gay to be my identity. 372 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,638 I like my identity. I don't want to be 373 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,974 the gay Kappa girl or the lesbian cousin. 374 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:58,435 I don't-- I don't want to be other, okay? 375 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,061 - I just want to be me. - Mm. 376 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:03,023 - By hiding who you are? - No, I'm-- 377 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,775 I came here to hook up, not to be lectured 378 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,194 by some suburban mom in a bad cardigan. 379 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,322 Uh, excuse you. I'm just trying to help. 380 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,245 - Hello, Kimberly. - I bought this tea at a store. 381 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,872 - I don't have a hot plate. - It's okay. 382 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,666 I was just doing my Friday night sweep, 383 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,043 looking for opioids. 384 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,420 I didn't expect anyone to be here. 385 00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:28,507 Oh, I'm taking advantage of the quiet to study. 386 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,510 On a Friday night? You should be out with friends. 387 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,845 Uh, it's okay. I'll go out another night. 388 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,515 Kimberly, the first week of school 389 00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:38,350 is when people find their friends. 390 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:42,521 My first weekend, I skipped the Swedish mid-September party. 391 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,564 That was when they found the inside joke 392 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:47,192 they would be utilizing for the next four years, 393 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:50,779 and I still don't know who Radish Face is. 394 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,157 I fear it may be me. 395 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,576 Well, I can't be the only one staying in today. 396 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,287 Believe you are. Well, if you get lonely 397 00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,705 or have dark thoughts, 398 00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,083 come over and we can play a board game. 399 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:07,254 It is my job to be available for... people like you. 400 00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:16,429 Wait for me! I'm coming! 401 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,223 I deserve to have some fun. 402 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:21,017 - Whoo! Yes, let's go! - Yes! 403 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,311 Yo, we're gonna see each other's tits tonight. 404 00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:39,494 Yes! Remember? 405 00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:41,496 What's up, bitches? 406 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,666 What are you doing here? 407 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,085 I realized I'm not just gonna sit at home 408 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,421 because one girl doesn't want me here for no reason. 409 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,339 There is a reason: she doesn't like you. 410 00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:54,759 Well, she is definitely gonna like me after I give her this. 411 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,053 A basket of lavender soaps and hand creams? 412 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,431 She's the co-captain of the team, not your great-aunt. 413 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:01,683 This is nice! It has bath crystals in it. 414 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,143 - Mm-mm. - Whatever, okay? 415 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,854 I'm gonna go find Jena, make her my best friend, 416 00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:08,523 - and replace you. - I'm your best friend? 417 00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:10,275 You've known me for, like, four weeks. 418 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,738 Tragic. 419 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,868 I said I was sorry. I don't make the schedule! 420 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:21,453 It's like I don't even have a girlfriend. 421 00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,496 - I'm done. - Stop. Don't do this, Jason! 422 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,291 What the fuck? Why are you in my room?! 423 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,585 I brought you some soaps. 424 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,597 So how does this work? 425 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,475 Do we just take our clothes off and go inside? 426 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:44,601 I guess. 427 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,449 This just got so real, so quick. 428 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,992 I don't think I can do this. 429 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:03,620 Fuck it. I'm going in! 430 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,163 Oh, my God, Jocelyn. 431 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,041 You have, like, perfect Keira Knightley boobs. 432 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:11,127 Well, I'll see you inside? 433 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,091 Whew. 434 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:20,720 Well... 435 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,848 - Same time? - Same time. 436 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,529 - Okay. - Okay. 437 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:38,947 - Let's go! - Let's go! 438 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,454 - No, he went down the way! - He went down the whole way. 439 00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:47,747 - Holy-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 440 00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,541 Guys, stop. Hey, Leighton. 441 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,501 - Oh, hey. - What's up? 442 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,379 - Are you, like, alone? - Yeah. 443 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,465 - But it's a Friday night. - Yeah, I know it's Friday. 444 00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:59,217 Maybe I'm going somewhere really fun. 445 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,886 - Are you? - No. 446 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,180 Look, Leight, just because those girls 447 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,142 don't want to live with you doesn't make you a loser. 448 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:09,477 Yo, what they did was not cool. 449 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,188 - You told them? - Well, yeah. Of course I did. 450 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,940 I mean, that was really fucked up. 451 00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:18,069 Yeah, for what it's worth, we all felt so bad for you. 452 00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:20,363 Okay. Ah. Well, this was horrible, 453 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,699 and I am, uh, I'm going to go drink 454 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,784 until I forget this conversation ever happened. 455 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,244 Leighton, Leighton. 456 00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:28,038 You're gonna make friends soon. I know it. 457 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,290 Everything you're saying is making it worse. Thank you. 458 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,500 Damn, she must be really hurting. 459 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,335 Want to go throw knives at trees? 460 00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:35,420 - Yep. - Let's fucking go. 461 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,422 - Let's go! - Yahoo! 462 00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,215 ♪ The day you took my voice ♪ 463 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,468 ♪ The power of my melodies ♪ 464 00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:44,596 ♪ I knew that this was the day ♪ 465 00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:46,056 ♪ And then you took my voice ♪ 466 00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,766 Okay, I don't think you realize it, 467 00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:50,977 but you're aggressively cupping your breasts in shame. 468 00:21:51,061 --> 00:21:53,938 Yes. You're right. I am doing that. 469 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:57,776 I'm fixing it now. Here we go. 470 00:21:57,859 --> 00:21:59,527 Ah! 471 00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:01,321 I'm proud of you. 472 00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:03,448 - Ready to mingle? - Yeah. 473 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,575 Which group of butts looks more approachable: 474 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,452 the right or the left? 475 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,120 The right butts look kinder, 476 00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:10,663 but I don't know what I'm basing that on. 477 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,791 Yeah, no, I agree. Right butts, for sure. 478 00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,667 - Uh-huh. - Let's go. 479 00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:18,171 Hey, Emma is on the lit mag? 480 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,757 Hello, everybody! 481 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,927 So embarrassing that we all wore the same outfit, right? 482 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,470 Is this your first naked party? 483 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,972 No. Why would you say that? 484 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:31,059 Because you looked down at everyone's junk multiple times. 485 00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:33,645 Naked parties are about being comfortable in your skin, 486 00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:35,230 not objectifying and catching a peek. 487 00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:38,483 Oh, no doubt. No doubt. I know that. 488 00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,443 I just looked down again, didn't I? 489 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:41,694 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 490 00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:46,116 So we're not even supposed to look? 491 00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:48,660 What is this, a naked party under Taliban rule? 492 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,663 Why are you two hanging out alone like a bunch of creeps? 493 00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:53,206 People think you're cops. 494 00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,958 Maybe we should just go. 495 00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:57,127 I thought this would be the amazing, unforgettable party 496 00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,839 I've been waiting for, but that's obviously not the case. 497 00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:02,674 No, we are gonna stay, 498 00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:04,717 and we are gonna make the most of it together. 499 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,178 Jocelyn, you seem so comfortable. 500 00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,638 How can we be more like you? 501 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,683 I pregamed a lot, so I'm crazy drunk. 502 00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:13,935 Okay. 503 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:15,520 Here we go. Oh. 504 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:18,356 ♪ That's the way we get down, down ♪ 505 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:19,941 ♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪ 506 00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:22,944 ♪ That's the way we get down, down ♪ 507 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,028 ♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪ 508 00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:30,702 Okay. Well, there's a gift receipt in the basket. 509 00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:32,662 You have 14 days. 510 00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:36,207 Are you okay? 511 00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,084 My fucking boyfriend just broke up with me. 512 00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:39,335 Okay. 513 00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:41,337 He can't handle our soccer schedule. 514 00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:44,007 He says I'm never around, like my life should revolve 515 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:45,675 around hanging out in his frat basement 516 00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,802 while he and his friends flick each other in the nuts. 517 00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:49,345 Sounds like a real winner. 518 00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:51,764 You don't fucking know him. His dog just died. 519 00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:54,267 I should not have said that. 520 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:57,604 It's okay. He does suck. 521 00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:01,232 It's just, not like guys are lining up for me, so-- 522 00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:03,318 Jena, what? You're so pretty. 523 00:24:03,401 --> 00:24:05,028 - Oh, fuck you. - You are! 524 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:06,362 You're tall, you're ripped, 525 00:24:06,446 --> 00:24:08,531 and you're, like, so good at soccer. 526 00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:10,533 That's why it kills me that you don't like me. 527 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:12,911 So, look, if this guy doesn't get that, fuck him. 528 00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:17,081 Move on. There's plenty of guys out there. 529 00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:19,792 Thanks. 530 00:24:19,876 --> 00:24:21,419 So are we good now? 531 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,630 'Cause I'd love it if you stopped kicking the shit 532 00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:25,590 out of me on the field. 533 00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:27,926 Yeah, we're good. 534 00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:29,594 But you're wrong about one thing: 535 00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:30,929 There aren't many guys our age 536 00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:32,722 who can handle being with girls like us, 537 00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:35,266 so good luck finding one. 538 00:24:39,187 --> 00:24:42,148 I mean, come on. It's a naked party! 539 00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,608 Everybody looks at everybody. 540 00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:46,027 You just can't look like you're looking. 541 00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:49,239 Like, right now, I just glanced at your boobs three times. 542 00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:51,324 No, you did not! You were looking at my eyes. 543 00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:54,619 I micro-glanced. The left one is bigger. 544 00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:57,830 Holy hell, she's right. Your left one is bigger. 545 00:24:57,914 --> 00:25:01,960 Hey, do any of you know where a girl named Sarah is? 546 00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:03,628 - No. - Sorry. 547 00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:05,713 I don't. 548 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:07,757 - Did you see that? - Wow! 549 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,008 Micro-glance! 550 00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:12,428 I'm gonna get a drink. 551 00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:19,978 What the hell?! 552 00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:23,481 - Ugh, of course it's you. - You know what? No. 553 00:25:23,564 --> 00:25:25,984 - You spilled my drink. - And I'm sorry about that, 554 00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:27,485 but I already know where this is going. 555 00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:28,861 You're gonna say something mean to me 556 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,280 and make me feel bad about myself. 557 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:31,656 I'm a good person! 558 00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:34,033 Did I jerk your boyfriend's dick? I did! 559 00:25:34,117 --> 00:25:35,493 But if I knew he had a girlfriend, 560 00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:36,995 I wouldn't have done it. 561 00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:38,830 Please stop being mean to me. 562 00:25:38,913 --> 00:25:41,249 I'm sorry! 563 00:25:41,332 --> 00:25:42,625 Come over here. 564 00:25:46,004 --> 00:25:48,673 I know I've been... less than kind. 565 00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:51,968 It's because I fought super hard for you in the first cut. 566 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,511 Staff was split about your submission, 567 00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:55,221 and people preferred this guy, 568 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:58,599 but I thought your stuff was funny, so I pushed for you, 569 00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:00,184 which then made me look like an idiot 570 00:26:00,268 --> 00:26:02,061 when everyone found out that the girl I supported 571 00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:04,647 had a jack-fest with my boyf the night before. 572 00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:06,024 You liked my submission? 573 00:26:06,107 --> 00:26:08,401 - It was pretty solid. - Pretty solid? 574 00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:10,611 You're a first-year. Take it easy. 575 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:14,240 So, wait, can we just, please, be good now? 576 00:26:14,324 --> 00:26:16,242 I don't want you to hate me. 577 00:26:16,326 --> 00:26:17,910 Yeah, we can be good. 578 00:26:17,994 --> 00:26:20,955 - I think I need to hug you. - Oh! 579 00:26:23,624 --> 00:26:25,668 Oh, jeez, my abs rubbed off on you. 580 00:26:25,752 --> 00:26:27,712 Mm, my boob contour got on you too. 581 00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:29,714 Ah! We both contoured?! 582 00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:31,507 I love us! 583 00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:42,727 - Hey. - Hey. 584 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:46,105 This will be quick. 585 00:26:46,189 --> 00:26:48,691 Oh, shit. You're wasted. 586 00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:52,445 Nico, at the naked party, I had an epiphany. 587 00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:57,367 You are going to French tutor me... 588 00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:59,035 in French, please. 589 00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:01,788 You're asking me to tutor you at 1:00 in the morning? 590 00:27:01,871 --> 00:27:02,955 Mm-hmm. 591 00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:06,918 Sure, I'll tutor you. 592 00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:11,214 Oh, excellent, and I appreciate. 593 00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:13,591 Good night. 594 00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:15,760 - That's it? - That'll be all, Tutor. 595 00:27:15,843 --> 00:27:18,096 Thank you! 596 00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:19,555 What? 597 00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:31,609 Hello, John. Your hat looks stupid, 598 00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:34,612 and the school you founded sucks. 599 00:27:34,695 --> 00:27:37,949 But I'm sorry you died in the snow. 600 00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:41,452 Hello? 601 00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:43,204 - Hey, it's Chloe. - Who? 602 00:27:43,287 --> 00:27:45,623 You had my nipples in your mouth in a minivan today? 603 00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:47,208 What do you want? 604 00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:49,377 Look, did you not sufficiently lecture me in your car? 605 00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:51,129 I'm just calling to check in on you. 606 00:27:51,212 --> 00:27:52,964 I could tell you're in a really bad place 607 00:27:53,047 --> 00:27:54,715 and just wanted to say that, 608 00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:56,426 it gets better. 609 00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:58,511 Oh, my God. Are you fucking serious? 610 00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:00,555 You're "It Gets Better-ing" me? 611 00:28:00,638 --> 00:28:02,056 Yeah, no, I am fine. 612 00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:05,393 You drive a Ford Windstar. You get better, hmm? 613 00:28:05,476 --> 00:28:06,936 My--my life is great. 614 00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,729 Why is everyone fucking pitying me? 615 00:28:08,813 --> 00:28:10,064 Have you seen me? 616 00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:12,400 I'm smart, stylish and as it turns out, 617 00:28:12,483 --> 00:28:13,901 I'm really fucking good at math. 618 00:28:13,985 --> 00:28:15,361 I'm thriving! 619 00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,447 - But you're living a lie. - Yeah, I know! 620 00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:20,825 You don't think I fucking know that?! 621 00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:25,997 I'm thriving! 622 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,999 Stop right there! 623 00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:30,001 - Don't move! - Fuck! 624 00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:32,336 Hey, I said stop! 625 00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:34,881 Go around, go around! Stop running! 626 00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:38,009 ♪ I could stand out here and tell myself I wasn't ready ♪ 627 00:28:38,092 --> 00:28:39,886 ♪ I'll get a million-dollar deal ♪ 628 00:28:39,969 --> 00:28:41,679 ♪ They both are really heavy ♪ 629 00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:43,806 ♪ Making plans that slip right through my hands ♪ 630 00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:45,349 ♪ Just like confetti ♪ 631 00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:51,606 ♪ We could get together, make a baby if you're ready ♪ 632 00:28:51,689 --> 00:28:53,316 ♪ Pretend I'm nothing special ♪ 633 00:28:53,399 --> 00:28:55,318 ♪ Yeah, they both are really heavy ♪ 634 00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:57,528 ♪ Making plans that slip right through my hands ♪ 635 00:28:57,612 --> 00:28:58,946 ♪ Just like confetti ♪ 636 00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:09,373 ♪ Ooh, baby ♪ 637 00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:14,420 ♪ Are you a girl? ♪ 638 00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:18,007 ♪ Are you a boy? ♪ 639 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,219 ♪ I'm not your girl ♪ 640 00:29:23,221 --> 00:29:25,723 ♪ I'm not your boy ♪ 641 00:29:25,806 --> 00:29:27,433 ♪ Freak, I could stand out here ♪ 642 00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:29,519 ♪ And tell myself I wasn't ready ♪ 643 00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:31,270 ♪ I'll get a million-dollar deal ♪ 644 00:29:31,354 --> 00:29:33,231 ♪ They both are really heavy ♪ 645 00:29:33,314 --> 00:29:36,651 ♪ Can you love somebody with a mind full of confetti? ♪ 646 00:29:39,237 --> 00:29:41,280 ♪ Daddy, we could get together ♪ 647 00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:43,074 ♪ Make a baby if you're ready ♪ 648 00:29:43,157 --> 00:29:44,742 ♪ Pretend I'm nothing special ♪ 649 00:29:44,825 --> 00:29:46,827 ♪ Yeah, they both are really heavy ♪ 650 00:29:46,911 --> 00:29:48,955 ♪ Making plans that slip right through my hands ♪