1 00:00:05,593 --> 00:00:08,346 [Sabrina Carpenter's "Christmas the Whole Year Round"] 2 00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:10,390 - ♪ Let's make the whole year Christmas ♪ 3 00:00:10,473 --> 00:00:14,894 ♪ No reason to forget this feeling we're feeling now ♪ 4 00:00:14,978 --> 00:00:17,397 ♪ We gotta keep it going all year 'round ♪ 5 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,441 - Hey, can one of you hand me the stapler? 6 00:00:19,524 --> 00:00:20,567 Actually, I think I got-- 7 00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:22,235 I can't--I'm--whoa! 8 00:00:22,318 --> 00:00:24,654 - Holy shit. - Are you okay? 9 00:00:24,738 --> 00:00:26,197 - I'm good. - Hey, don't you think 10 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,532 we have enough decorations? 11 00:00:27,615 --> 00:00:28,908 - I know I went a little overboard. 12 00:00:28,992 --> 00:00:30,577 I just really love Christmas. 13 00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:32,495 I mean, winter holidays. 14 00:00:32,579 --> 00:00:34,372 - Dude, it's okay to say Christmas. 15 00:00:34,456 --> 00:00:35,832 - No, that was exclusionist. 16 00:00:35,915 --> 00:00:37,167 I love winter holidays. 17 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,252 - Damn, those chlamydia pills are huge. 18 00:00:39,335 --> 00:00:41,755 Is that a normal dose or do you just have high bacteria load? 19 00:00:41,838 --> 00:00:43,173 - We're not having this discussion. 20 00:00:43,256 --> 00:00:45,133 - I didn't know lesbians could get STIs. 21 00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:46,801 - Bela, that's so offensive. 22 00:00:46,885 --> 00:00:49,095 Although I didn't know that was a possibility, either. 23 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,263 - Okay. They can. 24 00:00:50,346 --> 00:00:51,556 I did. End of talk. 25 00:00:51,639 --> 00:00:52,724 - Hey, have you at least told the girls 26 00:00:52,807 --> 00:00:54,184 you were with last week? 27 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:55,852 - I'm treating them how I want to be treated-- 28 00:00:55,935 --> 00:00:57,896 by fully ignoring it and taking a pill in peace. 29 00:00:57,979 --> 00:00:59,272 - Leighton Murray. 30 00:00:59,355 --> 00:01:00,774 - Look, one of those girls gave it to me, 31 00:01:00,857 --> 00:01:01,983 and I didn't get a call. 32 00:01:02,066 --> 00:01:03,359 I'm just following their lead. 33 00:01:03,443 --> 00:01:04,402 - I'm with you. 34 00:01:04,486 --> 00:01:05,487 You don't owe them anything. 35 00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:06,780 One of them bugged your bits. 36 00:01:06,863 --> 00:01:08,072 - If I were you, I would write them 37 00:01:08,156 --> 00:01:10,116 a nice, handwritten note. - Nuh-uh. 38 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,743 I'd call so it's not in writing. 39 00:01:11,826 --> 00:01:13,203 - If anything, just send them a clap emoji, 40 00:01:13,286 --> 00:01:14,579 a taco emoji, and then a peace sign. 41 00:01:14,662 --> 00:01:15,747 They'll get it. - All right. 42 00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:17,165 This is not up for discussion. 43 00:01:17,248 --> 00:01:19,459 Everyone stop talking about my "va-zhoon." 44 00:01:19,542 --> 00:01:20,710 - Are you irritated? 45 00:01:20,794 --> 00:01:22,170 Is it flaring up? 46 00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:23,338 [door slams] 47 00:01:23,421 --> 00:01:25,215 Ooh, that's a yes. 48 00:01:25,298 --> 00:01:26,466 - ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 49 00:01:26,549 --> 00:01:28,134 ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 50 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:29,302 ♪ Wrap it up in ribbon ♪ 51 00:01:29,385 --> 00:01:30,512 ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 52 00:01:30,595 --> 00:01:31,805 ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 53 00:01:31,888 --> 00:01:33,223 - Ladies, I just talked to my rep 54 00:01:33,306 --> 00:01:34,766 from the fertility clinic on the phone, 55 00:01:34,849 --> 00:01:35,892 and you'll never believe it. 56 00:01:35,975 --> 00:01:37,519 Her name is Kimberly, too. 57 00:01:37,602 --> 00:01:39,229 - Because it's a very common name. 58 00:01:39,312 --> 00:01:41,523 - She and I had a great big laugh about it. 59 00:01:41,606 --> 00:01:42,857 - You still feeling good about the whole 60 00:01:42,941 --> 00:01:43,983 selling your eggs thing? 61 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,443 - Yeah, I'm actually excited. 62 00:01:45,527 --> 00:01:47,821 The past few months have been so stressful, 63 00:01:47,904 --> 00:01:49,405 and I can't wait to get through this 64 00:01:49,489 --> 00:01:52,158 and feel like a normal college student again. 65 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:53,409 - I'm really happy for you. 66 00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:54,452 - Thanks. 67 00:01:54,536 --> 00:01:56,830 [distant whirring] 68 00:01:56,913 --> 00:01:58,498 - Is that noise coming from Jackson's room? 69 00:01:58,581 --> 00:02:00,583 - Yeah, it's been happening for a while. 70 00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:02,460 - It sounds more mechanical than usual. 71 00:02:02,544 --> 00:02:04,003 - Shh, shh, shh. Let me listen. 72 00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:05,505 I have perfect pitch for vibrators. 73 00:02:05,588 --> 00:02:08,174 [hums tone] 74 00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:10,844 I think it's the Kyro Wand. - Hmm. 75 00:02:10,927 --> 00:02:13,263 - Well, he's rudely not responding to text messages 76 00:02:13,346 --> 00:02:14,806 or knocking. I'll handle this. 77 00:02:14,889 --> 00:02:16,516 - Oh, but what if he's with someone? 78 00:02:16,599 --> 00:02:17,767 - Is she-- 79 00:02:17,851 --> 00:02:18,852 - I think I'm going to go with her. 80 00:02:18,935 --> 00:02:19,936 - Yeah, I'm going go, too, 81 00:02:20,019 --> 00:02:21,229 for emotional support. 82 00:02:21,312 --> 00:02:22,480 - Okay. 83 00:02:22,564 --> 00:02:24,858 [whirring sounds] 84 00:02:24,941 --> 00:02:25,984 [DLG's "Scatterbrain"] 85 00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,735 - ♪ Low tide ♪ 86 00:02:27,819 --> 00:02:29,779 ♪ ♪ 87 00:02:29,863 --> 00:02:34,200 ♪ Been risin' up the side of my house ♪ 88 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:36,202 ♪ I'm pacing ♪ - Oh, hey. 89 00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,203 - Hey. - Hey. 90 00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:38,204 - Hey. - Hey. 91 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,539 What's up? 92 00:02:39,622 --> 00:02:41,040 - Um, it's a bit loud in here. 93 00:02:41,124 --> 00:02:42,083 Could you keep it down? 94 00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:43,626 - Yeah, sorry about that. 95 00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:44,878 I just finished. 96 00:02:44,961 --> 00:02:47,172 - You and me both. - [chuckles] 97 00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:49,048 - Okay, bye. - Okay, bye. 98 00:02:49,132 --> 00:02:50,717 - See you. - [chuckles] 99 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,385 - Why was that the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen? 100 00:02:52,468 --> 00:02:53,761 - I didn't know backs had that many muscles. 101 00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:55,221 - Okay. Can you guys shut up? 102 00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:56,556 I'm trying to bring that image in for later. 103 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,057 - Hey. - Okay, that'll help. 104 00:02:58,141 --> 00:02:59,684 - Kimberly, have you looked at the reading list 105 00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:01,686 for Irish lit this week? - Yeah, it's way too much. 106 00:03:01,769 --> 00:03:04,397 What does the professor think we are, a bunch of, like-- 107 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,983 - ♪ I heard your call from so far away ♪ 108 00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:08,985 - Like, people who can read fast? 109 00:03:09,068 --> 00:03:10,236 - Yeah. I know. 110 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,404 I was hoping we could split it up. 111 00:03:11,487 --> 00:03:12,739 Maybe we could both read some 112 00:03:12,822 --> 00:03:14,073 and fill each other in on the rest? 113 00:03:14,157 --> 00:03:15,533 - Yeah, that's, uh, really smart. 114 00:03:15,617 --> 00:03:16,743 Let's totally do that. 115 00:03:16,826 --> 00:03:18,077 - Great. 116 00:03:18,161 --> 00:03:19,495 - Oh, my God. 117 00:03:19,579 --> 00:03:22,081 - Hmm. [upbeat music] 118 00:03:22,165 --> 00:03:23,875 - "That's really smart. Let's totally do that" 119 00:03:23,958 --> 00:03:25,335 - Let's totally. - Such a nerd. 120 00:03:25,418 --> 00:03:26,461 - Let's do that. 121 00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:28,755 ♪ ♪ 122 00:03:28,838 --> 00:03:30,423 - ♪ I called you baby ♪ 123 00:03:30,506 --> 00:03:33,176 - So what time are you having sex with Jackson tonight? 124 00:03:33,259 --> 00:03:34,802 I got to charge my noise-canceling headphones. 125 00:03:34,886 --> 00:03:36,137 - We're just studying together. 126 00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:37,680 That was a platonic study invite. 127 00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:39,098 - Yeah, but it's Jackson. 128 00:03:39,182 --> 00:03:41,059 One time I saw a girl go into his room with a book 129 00:03:41,142 --> 00:03:42,185 and come out with a limp. 130 00:03:42,268 --> 00:03:43,436 - You deserve to have some fun. 131 00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:44,771 Let him drill you into that wall 132 00:03:44,854 --> 00:03:46,105 like you're the TV. 133 00:03:46,189 --> 00:03:47,273 - Do you guys really think he's trying 134 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,067 to have a sexy study date? 135 00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:50,360 - Yes. - Absolutely. 136 00:03:50,443 --> 00:03:51,945 - Better go put on a sexier bra. 137 00:03:52,028 --> 00:03:53,321 - And not the beige one. 138 00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,281 - The options are beige, lima bean, or black. 139 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:56,324 - Obviously black. - Black. 140 00:03:56,407 --> 00:03:57,283 - Okay. 141 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,660 - Oh, good, my brow tinter 142 00:03:58,743 --> 00:04:00,286 can fit me in tonight before Kappa. 143 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,788 - Oh, what time are we going to this thing again? 144 00:04:01,871 --> 00:04:02,956 - First of all, it's not just a thing. 145 00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:04,415 It is the final rush event. 146 00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:05,833 And I cannot believe that you have made it this far 147 00:04:05,917 --> 00:04:06,960 when you barely rushed and you have 148 00:04:07,043 --> 00:04:08,461 little to no fashion sense. 149 00:04:08,544 --> 00:04:09,963 - What can I say? When you got it, you got it. 150 00:04:10,046 --> 00:04:11,130 - I'm just glad you're giving it a chance. 151 00:04:11,214 --> 00:04:12,298 - Hey, this is new Whitney. 152 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,800 She says yes and tries things 153 00:04:13,883 --> 00:04:15,927 because she has literally nothing else going on. 154 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:18,137 - All I want is to be able to text my mom a pic 155 00:04:18,221 --> 00:04:19,973 of me wearing her Kappa pin. 156 00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:21,391 - Oh, Leighton, that's so sweet. 157 00:04:21,474 --> 00:04:22,517 - After everything with Nico, 158 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:23,810 she could use some good news. 159 00:04:23,893 --> 00:04:25,478 - I didn't think you guys got along. 160 00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:27,313 - Just because her name in my phone is "The Babadook" 161 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,399 doesn't mean I don't love the bitch. 162 00:04:29,482 --> 00:04:31,234 Hey, we should go get our nails done. 163 00:04:31,317 --> 00:04:32,694 - Why? Yours look great. 164 00:04:32,777 --> 00:04:34,070 - Yeah. Yeah, they do. 165 00:04:34,153 --> 00:04:36,656 That was more of a little reminder for you. 166 00:04:36,739 --> 00:04:38,157 Let's go. 167 00:04:38,241 --> 00:04:40,159 - Damn. Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 168 00:04:40,243 --> 00:04:41,286 - Okay. 169 00:04:41,369 --> 00:04:42,662 We're finalizing the staff page, 170 00:04:42,745 --> 00:04:44,122 so last call for headshots. Lila? 171 00:04:44,205 --> 00:04:45,498 - Hmm? - Can you send me one 172 00:04:45,581 --> 00:04:47,000 without your boobs on a tray? 173 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,668 - You said to highlight my strengths. 174 00:04:48,751 --> 00:04:50,795 - Has everyone posted the countdown to our launch 175 00:04:50,878 --> 00:04:51,879 on their stories? 176 00:04:51,963 --> 00:04:53,339 We go live in 10 hours. 177 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,590 [cheering] 178 00:04:54,674 --> 00:04:55,883 - How are numbers looking? 179 00:04:55,967 --> 00:04:58,136 - Uh, they're a-freaking-mazing. 180 00:04:58,219 --> 00:05:01,597 We are primed to reach one in every eight people on campus. 181 00:05:01,681 --> 00:05:02,849 - One in eight? 182 00:05:02,932 --> 00:05:04,350 Carla, that sucks. - Does it? 183 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:05,768 'Cause I love positivity. - Okay. 184 00:05:05,852 --> 00:05:07,186 Can I talk to someone else about this? 185 00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,688 Jo, maybe? - It turns out a lot of us 186 00:05:08,771 --> 00:05:10,606 share the same social followings. 187 00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:12,650 We're missing a lot of people. 188 00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:13,985 - Oh, my God. 189 00:05:14,068 --> 00:05:16,279 A bunch of foot fetishists follow me. 190 00:05:16,362 --> 00:05:17,613 Will that help? 191 00:05:17,697 --> 00:05:19,032 - Look, we need to reach more people 192 00:05:19,115 --> 00:05:20,366 or this will never work. 193 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,784 We left "The Catullan," a group that's 194 00:05:21,868 --> 00:05:23,536 a legit feeder to the NBC page program, 195 00:05:23,619 --> 00:05:25,163 to make something better, not worse. 196 00:05:25,246 --> 00:05:27,206 We need to fix this. - Bela, chill. 197 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:28,708 - I have a lot riding on this. 198 00:05:28,791 --> 00:05:30,126 - Yeah, we all do. 199 00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:31,544 But we never thought we were going to have 200 00:05:31,627 --> 00:05:33,046 a big audience right away. 201 00:05:33,129 --> 00:05:35,548 We just have to start small, make good content, 202 00:05:35,631 --> 00:05:37,675 and hopefully people will find us. 203 00:05:37,759 --> 00:05:39,927 - Ah. One of my foot guys just texted back. 204 00:05:40,011 --> 00:05:41,137 He said he'll promote us. 205 00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:43,097 ♪ ♪ 206 00:05:43,181 --> 00:05:44,390 - What you watching? 207 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,309 - Oh, I got my biochem quiz back 208 00:05:46,392 --> 00:05:49,228 and your girl moved from the bottom third of class 209 00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:50,480 to the middle third. 210 00:05:50,563 --> 00:05:52,482 - Hey. Congrats. - Thank you. 211 00:05:52,565 --> 00:05:55,651 But I know I can do better, so I'm watching a video 212 00:05:55,735 --> 00:05:57,904 on what acellular means because how 213 00:05:57,987 --> 00:05:59,697 can anything have no cells? 214 00:05:59,781 --> 00:06:01,074 That's nonsense. 215 00:06:01,157 --> 00:06:03,868 - This study geek vibe on you is so cute. 216 00:06:03,951 --> 00:06:05,578 - [giggles] Oh. 217 00:06:05,661 --> 00:06:07,205 What time should I get to the KJ house tonight? 218 00:06:07,288 --> 00:06:08,956 You said the party starts at 9:00, 219 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,625 so is that like a Black 10:30? 220 00:06:10,708 --> 00:06:13,127 - Usually, yes, but, uh, the KissMas party 221 00:06:13,211 --> 00:06:14,796 is our biggest party of the year, 222 00:06:14,879 --> 00:06:16,422 so I would get there early. 223 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:17,882 - Biggest party of the year? 224 00:06:17,965 --> 00:06:19,008 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 225 00:06:19,092 --> 00:06:20,093 - And I wanted to invite you 226 00:06:20,176 --> 00:06:21,719 to the official after-party. 227 00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:24,305 It's in my room, it's just us, 228 00:06:24,388 --> 00:06:26,933 and it's fully naked. 229 00:06:27,016 --> 00:06:28,142 - Hmm. 230 00:06:28,226 --> 00:06:30,394 I will RSVP yes to that. 231 00:06:30,478 --> 00:06:31,771 - Mm-hmm. 232 00:06:35,399 --> 00:06:36,442 - Gotta get to work. 233 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:37,610 - Okay. 234 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,780 - Actually, I want to ask you something. 235 00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:48,579 Will you be my girlfriend? 236 00:06:48,663 --> 00:06:49,831 - What the fuck? 237 00:06:49,914 --> 00:06:51,374 Was I not his girlfriend already? 238 00:06:51,457 --> 00:06:52,875 Did you think I was his girlfriend? 239 00:06:52,959 --> 00:06:54,544 Because I thought I was his girlfriend. 240 00:06:54,627 --> 00:06:55,878 - Yeah, you definitely called yourself his girlfriend 241 00:06:55,962 --> 00:06:57,463 multiple times, so I can't lie. 242 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,173 That is embarrassing. - I just--I just don't get 243 00:06:59,257 --> 00:07:00,633 how he didn't consider me his girlfriend 244 00:07:00,716 --> 00:07:01,968 until, like, 14 minutes ago. 245 00:07:02,051 --> 00:07:03,344 Do you think this means he's been 246 00:07:03,427 --> 00:07:05,054 seeing other people? It might, right? 247 00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:06,681 - Well, did you ask him if he was seeing other people? 248 00:07:06,764 --> 00:07:07,974 - Uh, no. Are you crazy? 249 00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:09,142 You don't ask guys these things. 250 00:07:09,225 --> 00:07:10,685 You ask everyone else you know. 251 00:07:10,768 --> 00:07:12,353 - Okay, look. I'm not some successful dater of boys 252 00:07:12,436 --> 00:07:14,313 who can help you with this, but you know who can? 253 00:07:14,397 --> 00:07:15,481 Kappas, all right? 254 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:16,691 Ask some of the seniors. 255 00:07:16,774 --> 00:07:17,942 I'm sure they've seen it all. 256 00:07:18,025 --> 00:07:19,277 - Yeah. You're right. - Mm-hmm. 257 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,695 - You know, I'm starting to see some 258 00:07:20,778 --> 00:07:22,155 of the upsides to being in a sorority. 259 00:07:22,238 --> 00:07:23,656 all: [chanting] We are Kappa Beta Rho. 260 00:07:23,739 --> 00:07:25,783 We set trends wherever we go. Ask anyone-- 261 00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:27,535 - Am I supposed to be scared? - Shh. 262 00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:29,162 all: [chanting] That a Kappa girl always steals the show. 263 00:07:29,245 --> 00:07:31,247 We are Kappa. Don't you know? 264 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:32,456 [cheering] 265 00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:33,666 - Terrifying. 266 00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:35,251 - Leighton? 267 00:07:35,334 --> 00:07:37,503 - Natalie? Hi. 268 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,380 Um, I didn't know you were rushing Kappa. 269 00:07:39,463 --> 00:07:41,007 - I am. 270 00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:42,466 Hey, can I ask you something? 271 00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:43,843 - Mm-hmm? - Were you just not 272 00:07:43,926 --> 00:07:45,511 gonna tell me you gave me chlamydia? 273 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,971 - Mm. 274 00:07:47,054 --> 00:07:48,514 [knocking on door] 275 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,349 ♪ ♪ 276 00:07:50,433 --> 00:07:51,517 - There she is. 277 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:52,810 - Yep, it's me. 278 00:07:54,103 --> 00:07:55,521 - I'm so glad you could make it. 279 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:56,522 - Me too. 280 00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,399 - Me too. 281 00:07:58,482 --> 00:08:00,193 We've got so much stuff to cover. 282 00:08:00,276 --> 00:08:02,695 Hi, Fred from lit class. 283 00:08:02,778 --> 00:08:05,364 - Or, as my classmates from poli sci would call me, 284 00:08:05,448 --> 00:08:06,949 Fred from poli sci. - Yeah. 285 00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:08,326 I ran into Fred and I thought we could make 286 00:08:08,409 --> 00:08:09,827 our study duo into a trio. 287 00:08:09,911 --> 00:08:11,037 - Yeah. 288 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,039 - Who wants Chex Mix Muddy Buddies? 289 00:08:13,122 --> 00:08:15,333 [upbeat festive music] 290 00:08:15,416 --> 00:08:16,667 - ♪ I taste the sugarplum ♪ 291 00:08:16,751 --> 00:08:18,294 ♪ It tastes so wonderful ♪ 292 00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:20,046 ♪ Everything is magical with multicolor ♪ 293 00:08:20,129 --> 00:08:21,547 - Okay. Which do you like better, 294 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,299 this or this? 295 00:08:23,382 --> 00:08:25,343 - I came here to have sex, not look at 30 options 296 00:08:25,426 --> 00:08:27,303 of "The Catullan" holiday issue that all look the same. 297 00:08:27,386 --> 00:08:28,930 - They don't all look the same. 298 00:08:29,013 --> 00:08:30,556 They have different font sizes and variable kerning. 299 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,807 Look. - I can't believe I still 300 00:08:31,891 --> 00:08:32,808 want to have sex with you 301 00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:33,893 after what you just said. 302 00:08:33,976 --> 00:08:35,144 - Okay. 303 00:08:35,228 --> 00:08:36,646 I got to email this to the print guy. 304 00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:38,356 I need to get it in by 2:00 for same day. 305 00:08:38,439 --> 00:08:39,690 How's your launch looking? 306 00:08:39,774 --> 00:08:40,775 Tonight's the night, right? 307 00:08:40,858 --> 00:08:42,193 - Yep, we go live at midnight. 308 00:08:42,276 --> 00:08:43,778 - Catullan issue comes out tonight, too. 309 00:08:43,861 --> 00:08:45,571 Little, uh, competition, huh? 310 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:48,241 - Yeah. I'm shaking in my thong. 311 00:08:48,324 --> 00:08:51,077 - Look, I know it's tough starting a new thing, 312 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,578 but I'm excited to read it. 313 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,580 - Well, you'll probably be the only one. 314 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,082 - What you're doing is cool. 315 00:08:56,165 --> 00:08:57,833 It's way more impressive than "The Catullan" 316 00:08:57,917 --> 00:08:59,252 just using a bunch of alumni money 317 00:08:59,335 --> 00:09:00,753 to print copies and dump them in front 318 00:09:00,836 --> 00:09:02,588 of every student's door. 319 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,590 Okay. Let's do this. 320 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,634 And, uh, hey, could you bite my neck 321 00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,135 like last--last time? 322 00:09:08,219 --> 00:09:09,804 It felt like I was having sex with Edward Cullen. 323 00:09:09,887 --> 00:09:11,430 - Yeah, sorry. Um-- 324 00:09:11,514 --> 00:09:12,765 - What's--what's happening? What are you-- 325 00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:14,100 - Actually, I got to go. 326 00:09:14,183 --> 00:09:15,268 - Perfect. 327 00:09:15,351 --> 00:09:16,477 Glad I got completely pantsless 328 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,603 for you to leave. 329 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:18,771 - ♪ Shh, shh, shh ♪ 330 00:09:18,854 --> 00:09:21,274 - Hey, uh, so I have an idea. 331 00:09:21,357 --> 00:09:24,610 - I can't believe you gave me the clap and didn't tell me. 332 00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:27,446 - Okay, who's to say I gave it to you? 333 00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:28,906 You might have given it to me. 334 00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:31,033 - You're the only person I've slept with lately. 335 00:09:31,117 --> 00:09:32,326 - Okay. Okay. 336 00:09:32,410 --> 00:09:33,869 I know you want to talk about this, 337 00:09:33,953 --> 00:09:35,413 but, um, this is not the time. 338 00:09:35,496 --> 00:09:37,123 - I just want you to apologize. 339 00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:38,291 - Oh, my God. 340 00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:40,418 Okay, can you just stop? 341 00:09:41,585 --> 00:09:44,839 Can I just Venmo you for the cost of your meds, 342 00:09:44,922 --> 00:09:48,175 and we can leave this very mediocre sex we had behind us? 343 00:09:48,259 --> 00:09:49,927 - [scoffs] 344 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:53,639 - What was that? 345 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:54,807 - Oh, nothing, heh. 346 00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:56,642 - It seemed pretty heated. 347 00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:59,937 It's just Natalie came in 348 00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:05,026 with some very intense, competitive energy. 349 00:10:05,109 --> 00:10:07,445 It didn't feel very Kappa to me, but it's fine. 350 00:10:07,528 --> 00:10:08,738 - Oh, really? 351 00:10:08,821 --> 00:10:09,905 - No, I shouldn't have said anything. 352 00:10:09,989 --> 00:10:10,906 - No, it's important. 353 00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:11,991 We can't let anyone in 354 00:10:12,074 --> 00:10:13,075 that'll throw off the vibes. 355 00:10:13,159 --> 00:10:14,201 We have to preserve the vibes. 356 00:10:14,285 --> 00:10:15,870 - I always say that. 357 00:10:15,953 --> 00:10:17,330 It's so funny you mention it, too, 358 00:10:17,413 --> 00:10:18,581 because, like, if a vibe 359 00:10:18,664 --> 00:10:20,082 is, perchance, thrown-- - Yeah. 360 00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:21,625 - Nothing ever goes right. 361 00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:23,753 So I thought we were already an official couple, 362 00:10:23,836 --> 00:10:25,713 but then he brings this whole, "will you be my girlfriend" 363 00:10:25,796 --> 00:10:27,298 thing on me. Like, what the hell? 364 00:10:27,381 --> 00:10:28,758 - Sounds like you were in a one-sided 365 00:10:28,841 --> 00:10:30,009 situation-ship, babe. 366 00:10:30,092 --> 00:10:31,218 - Oh, totally. 100%. 367 00:10:31,302 --> 00:10:33,304 My ex had this whole ho-tation. 368 00:10:33,387 --> 00:10:35,139 He was hooking up with a bunch of girls 369 00:10:35,222 --> 00:10:36,724 every time he went home. 370 00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,976 - Canaan doesn't seem like he'd do something like that. 371 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:41,854 - Oh, well, they never do, until they do. 372 00:10:41,937 --> 00:10:43,731 - Have ever been cheated on? 373 00:10:43,814 --> 00:10:45,399 - Uh, yeah. 374 00:10:45,483 --> 00:10:48,694 In the fall, I was seeing this guy and he, 375 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:51,030 um, yeah. 376 00:10:51,113 --> 00:10:52,198 - What's going on here? 377 00:10:52,281 --> 00:10:53,407 - We're talking about what to do 378 00:10:53,491 --> 00:10:54,992 when a guy is being sus. 379 00:10:55,076 --> 00:10:56,577 - Honestly, the minute a guy 380 00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:58,037 is being sus, I go through his phone. 381 00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,538 It has all the answers. 382 00:10:59,622 --> 00:11:01,040 Do I feel great about it? No. 383 00:11:01,123 --> 00:11:03,417 But I'd rather know for sure than waste my time. 384 00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:04,502 both: Totally. 385 00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:06,045 - Uh, thanks. 386 00:11:06,128 --> 00:11:07,546 I don't think I could do that, 387 00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,590 but I appreciate the convo. 388 00:11:09,673 --> 00:11:12,093 [upbeat electronic music] 389 00:11:12,176 --> 00:11:14,053 - Okay, that's all I've got for Seamus Heaney. 390 00:11:14,136 --> 00:11:15,304 - That's so helpful. 391 00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:16,722 I read some of the McDonagh stuff. 392 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,140 [phone buzzes] Hope my notes are okay. 393 00:11:18,224 --> 00:11:19,975 - Oh, hang on. My Chinese food is here. 394 00:11:20,059 --> 00:11:22,603 And don't worry, I got dumplings for the table. 395 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,483 - It's so nice we get to do this with Fred. 396 00:11:28,776 --> 00:11:32,321 - Hey, I'm happy we got a second alone 397 00:11:32,405 --> 00:11:33,948 'cause I want to tell you there's another reason 398 00:11:34,031 --> 00:11:35,241 why I asked you over. 399 00:11:35,324 --> 00:11:36,575 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 400 00:11:36,659 --> 00:11:38,744 I don't know how you're feeling, but... 401 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,329 Fred's, like, really into you. 402 00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:41,664 - Huh? - Yeah. 403 00:11:41,747 --> 00:11:43,040 He asked me if I could link you guys up, 404 00:11:43,124 --> 00:11:44,959 so that's why I invited him over. 405 00:11:45,042 --> 00:11:47,586 So what do you think? 406 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,213 - Of Fred? 407 00:11:49,296 --> 00:11:51,715 Fred who showed us his digital trading cards? 408 00:11:51,799 --> 00:11:54,218 - He seems like a really sweet guy. 409 00:11:54,301 --> 00:11:55,428 - Got the food. 410 00:11:55,511 --> 00:11:57,263 Sorry I took so long. 411 00:11:57,346 --> 00:11:59,098 - You were gone for, like, 10 seconds. 412 00:11:59,181 --> 00:12:01,976 - So who's hungry? 413 00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:04,145 [Alus's "Somebody"] 414 00:12:04,228 --> 00:12:07,106 - ♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪ 415 00:12:07,189 --> 00:12:08,482 - Okay. You got this, girls. 416 00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:10,067 - Oh, we absolutely do. 417 00:12:10,151 --> 00:12:11,986 - ♪ I need somebody ♪ 418 00:12:12,069 --> 00:12:13,154 - Be right out. 419 00:12:13,237 --> 00:12:14,447 - If this works, we're going to get 420 00:12:14,530 --> 00:12:15,489 so many subscribers. 421 00:12:15,573 --> 00:12:16,740 - Yeah, but aren't you worried 422 00:12:16,824 --> 00:12:17,950 that Eric's going to get pissed 423 00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:19,326 and fog up his little glasses? 424 00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:20,411 - No, he'll be fine. 425 00:12:20,494 --> 00:12:21,454 He knows we're competing. 426 00:12:21,537 --> 00:12:22,705 He said to himself. 427 00:12:22,788 --> 00:12:23,956 - I was really looking forward to never 428 00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:25,249 seeing this guy Roy again. 429 00:12:25,332 --> 00:12:26,917 He thinks I'm Eric's assistant. 430 00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:30,880 And he always taps my hands with his damp fingers. 431 00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:32,882 Hey, Roy. Nice to see you. 432 00:12:32,965 --> 00:12:34,425 - You too, sweetie. 433 00:12:34,508 --> 00:12:37,636 How can I help "The Catullan's" best gal today? 434 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,971 - Oh, wow. 435 00:12:39,054 --> 00:12:40,473 - Hi, Roy. 436 00:12:40,556 --> 00:12:42,892 I'm Bela, and we little ladies could use your help. 437 00:12:42,975 --> 00:12:44,810 There was one last edit to the cover art 438 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,020 for tonight's issue, 439 00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:47,104 but we forgot to make it 440 00:12:47,188 --> 00:12:48,481 before Eric sent it to you. 441 00:12:48,564 --> 00:12:49,815 - And if we don't fix this, 442 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,400 we're going to be in big trouble. 443 00:12:51,484 --> 00:12:52,651 The approved cover's on here. 444 00:12:52,735 --> 00:12:54,028 Will you help us girls out? 445 00:12:54,111 --> 00:12:56,030 - Of course, sweetie. 446 00:12:58,616 --> 00:12:59,909 - Ugh. 447 00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:01,368 - Oh, my God. 448 00:13:01,452 --> 00:13:03,120 Our moms were totally in the same rush class. 449 00:13:03,204 --> 00:13:04,788 We have to take a pic to send to them. 450 00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:06,040 - Totally. - Yeah. 451 00:13:06,123 --> 00:13:07,541 - Leighton, can I have a moment? 452 00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:09,668 - Sure. I will be right back 453 00:13:09,752 --> 00:13:11,587 to take that picture, Jordan. - Okay. 454 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:13,005 What's up? 455 00:13:13,088 --> 00:13:14,507 - Did you talk shit about me to the Kappas? 456 00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:16,175 Because I feel like I'm getting iced out. 457 00:13:16,258 --> 00:13:18,010 During the house tour, they left me in the cellar. 458 00:13:18,093 --> 00:13:19,261 - Um, no. 459 00:13:19,345 --> 00:13:20,763 No, I haven't mentioned you at all. 460 00:13:20,846 --> 00:13:22,473 - Really? Because I saw you looking my way 461 00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:23,849 when you were talking to Quinn. 462 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,184 - Oh, Natalie. 463 00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:27,228 You're making this really weird, okay? 464 00:13:27,311 --> 00:13:29,021 Maybe focus more on rush 465 00:13:29,104 --> 00:13:32,399 and less on who I'm talking to. 466 00:13:32,483 --> 00:13:34,818 [tapping on glass] 467 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:39,198 - It's now time for my favorite Kappa rush tradition. 468 00:13:39,281 --> 00:13:42,117 all: [chanting] Secret seat, secret seat, 469 00:13:42,201 --> 00:13:44,245 secret seat, secret seat. 470 00:13:44,328 --> 00:13:46,872 - For our final moments of rush, I invite each of you 471 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:50,793 to sit in the secret seat and share a sexy secret. 472 00:13:50,876 --> 00:13:52,336 And Abby, you're first. 473 00:13:52,419 --> 00:13:54,547 - I went down on my boyfriend on the London eye. 474 00:13:54,630 --> 00:13:55,589 [giggling] 475 00:13:55,673 --> 00:13:56,799 all: [chanting] Secret seat. 476 00:13:56,882 --> 00:13:59,009 Secret seat. Secret seat. 477 00:13:59,093 --> 00:14:01,011 - I don't really love rosé. 478 00:14:01,095 --> 00:14:04,390 all: [chanting] Secret seat, secret seat, secret seat. 479 00:14:04,473 --> 00:14:06,517 [gasping, murmuring] 480 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,436 - Last week, Leighton Murray gave me chlamydia. 481 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,314 [festive music] 482 00:14:12,398 --> 00:14:15,025 - ♪ This Christmas gonna to be a little different ♪ 483 00:14:15,109 --> 00:14:16,402 ♪ Santa got bags ♪ 484 00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:17,736 - Hey, get it! 485 00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,989 Oh my God, this is so damn dope. 486 00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:22,366 - I mean, back in Kappa, was, like, bad-bad, right? 487 00:14:22,449 --> 00:14:24,660 - Hated to watch, couldn't look away. 488 00:14:24,743 --> 00:14:25,744 - Got it. 489 00:14:25,828 --> 00:14:27,079 - But I--I can't even think 490 00:14:27,162 --> 00:14:28,581 about that when all of this 491 00:14:28,664 --> 00:14:30,874 is happening in front of me. 492 00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:32,084 - You know what? I'm going to text Quinn 493 00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:33,168 to check in on deliberations. 494 00:14:33,252 --> 00:14:34,503 Very casually, though. 495 00:14:34,587 --> 00:14:35,588 - Yeah, yeah. 496 00:14:35,671 --> 00:14:36,839 You're in a very casual place. 497 00:14:36,922 --> 00:14:38,841 - I'm sorry, babe. This is rough. 498 00:14:38,924 --> 00:14:40,759 - Wait, what's going on? How'd it go with Jackson? 499 00:14:40,843 --> 00:14:41,969 - Oh, bad. 500 00:14:42,052 --> 00:14:43,596 Turns out he was planning a sexy date, 501 00:14:43,679 --> 00:14:44,763 but not for me and him. 502 00:14:44,847 --> 00:14:46,682 For me and this guy. 503 00:14:46,765 --> 00:14:49,935 - He looks like--like he would treat you very well. 504 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,353 - Yeah, he's fine, I guess. 505 00:14:51,437 --> 00:14:53,147 But now I know how Jackson sees me. 506 00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:54,773 He sees me with a guy like this? 507 00:14:54,857 --> 00:14:56,108 Jackson clearly thinks 508 00:14:56,191 --> 00:14:57,776 I'm not in his league, which is fine. 509 00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:59,278 - But is anyone in Jackson's league? 510 00:14:59,361 --> 00:15:00,904 - No, he's like a Greek God that 511 00:15:00,988 --> 00:15:03,115 came to Earth as punishment for being too hot. 512 00:15:03,198 --> 00:15:04,491 - Oh, forget it. 513 00:15:04,575 --> 00:15:05,743 How was Kappa? 514 00:15:05,826 --> 00:15:06,994 - One of the girls announced 515 00:15:07,077 --> 00:15:08,287 that Leighton gave her chlamydia. 516 00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:09,622 - What? 517 00:15:09,705 --> 00:15:11,332 - Should we all get very large drinks? 518 00:15:11,415 --> 00:15:12,625 - Yes. - Yes. 519 00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:14,710 - ♪ Told me feed my family ♪ 520 00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:17,838 ♪ I took it to the hood and I dropped it in the sink ♪ 521 00:15:17,921 --> 00:15:20,966 ♪ Then I whipped it into a whole thing ♪ 522 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,718 ♪ Jumped off the-- ♪ 523 00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:23,969 - There he is. 524 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:25,095 - Mm-hmm. 525 00:15:25,179 --> 00:15:26,972 - Damn, Santa. - You're here. 526 00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,432 The party's officially started. 527 00:15:28,515 --> 00:15:29,808 - ♪ Diamonds on my chains ♪ 528 00:15:29,892 --> 00:15:31,310 ♪ Watch me, man ♪ 529 00:15:31,393 --> 00:15:33,395 ♪ You gotta watch me now ♪ 530 00:15:33,479 --> 00:15:35,147 - What was that for? 531 00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:37,149 - Just kissing my girlfriend. 532 00:15:37,232 --> 00:15:38,609 It's my favorite party of the year, 533 00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:40,736 and I can't wait to spend it with you. 534 00:15:40,819 --> 00:15:42,154 Oh, damn. - What? 535 00:15:42,237 --> 00:15:43,530 What? 536 00:15:43,614 --> 00:15:45,658 - My phone keeps falling out of these Santa pants. 537 00:15:45,741 --> 00:15:47,284 You mind holding it in your bag for me? 538 00:15:47,368 --> 00:15:48,702 - Uh, yeah. Sure. 539 00:15:48,786 --> 00:15:50,204 - Yeah? [dance music playing] 540 00:15:50,287 --> 00:15:51,413 Hey, that's my song. Let's go. 541 00:15:51,497 --> 00:15:52,790 Let's go. Let's go. 542 00:15:52,873 --> 00:15:54,500 - ♪ Turn it up. Turn it up ♪ 543 00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:56,377 - We fucking did it. - It's here? 544 00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:57,836 Let me see it. - What did you do? 545 00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,004 - We needed a splashy way to announce 546 00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,339 our magazine to the world, 547 00:16:00,422 --> 00:16:01,799 so we Trojan horsed "The Catullan." 548 00:16:01,882 --> 00:16:04,093 We replaced their cover with a QR code 549 00:16:04,176 --> 00:16:05,636 that leads to our site instead. 550 00:16:05,719 --> 00:16:07,221 - Us sneaky bitches out-snuck the boys. 551 00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:08,722 Who wants a signed copy? 552 00:16:08,806 --> 00:16:10,140 - Now "The Foxy" is at the doorstep 553 00:16:10,224 --> 00:16:11,725 of every person on campus. 554 00:16:11,809 --> 00:16:13,185 - Bela, that is so cool! 555 00:16:13,268 --> 00:16:14,645 - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Look, we're already 556 00:16:14,728 --> 00:16:16,438 getting so many new followers. Yes, yes. 557 00:16:16,522 --> 00:16:18,023 - Cheers me with your boobs. 558 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,441 [laughter] 559 00:16:19,525 --> 00:16:20,776 - [squeals] 560 00:16:20,859 --> 00:16:22,945 - Say KissMas. 561 00:16:23,028 --> 00:16:24,571 all: KissMas! 562 00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:27,533 - ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 563 00:16:27,616 --> 00:16:29,201 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 564 00:16:29,284 --> 00:16:31,120 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ - Whoop, whoop! 565 00:16:31,203 --> 00:16:32,246 [cheering] 566 00:16:32,329 --> 00:16:33,497 - So, wait. You're telling me 567 00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,873 you talked shit about this girl, 568 00:16:34,957 --> 00:16:37,126 gaslit her, and then sabotaged her, 569 00:16:37,209 --> 00:16:39,169 all after you gave her chlamydia? 570 00:16:39,253 --> 00:16:41,088 - Okay. Okay, so I can see 571 00:16:41,171 --> 00:16:42,589 how that would make me look like a bitch, but-- 572 00:16:42,673 --> 00:16:44,883 - Look like a bitch? Bitch, you were a bitch. 573 00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:46,719 - That's what I said. In less harsh words. 574 00:16:46,802 --> 00:16:48,053 - Ooh. 575 00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,555 - Okay, but what do you think I should do? 576 00:16:49,638 --> 00:16:51,056 - Ooh, look, I want to help you, 577 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,474 but I got to follow that tight linebacker 578 00:16:52,558 --> 00:16:53,559 into a private room. 579 00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:54,560 So I'm going to go. 580 00:16:54,643 --> 00:16:56,603 Kimberly, fix your girl. 581 00:16:56,687 --> 00:16:58,480 - Okay. So I really messed up. 582 00:16:58,564 --> 00:16:59,815 - Mm. - But you know what? 583 00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:01,191 I am just going to text Quinn, 584 00:17:01,275 --> 00:17:03,026 and I'm going to tell her to call me. 585 00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:04,528 ♪ ♪ 586 00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:05,988 - Who should we give these to? 587 00:17:06,071 --> 00:17:08,240 - Hot guys first, and then everybody else. 588 00:17:08,323 --> 00:17:10,367 - Hey, great party, huh? 589 00:17:10,451 --> 00:17:11,577 Do you like college comedy? 590 00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:12,619 - Hey, daddy. 591 00:17:12,703 --> 00:17:13,912 You like to laugh? 592 00:17:13,996 --> 00:17:15,998 Scan the code on the cover. 593 00:17:16,081 --> 00:17:18,000 - Bela, did you do this? - Eric? 594 00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:19,960 Uh, hi. Yes. Yes, I did. 595 00:17:20,043 --> 00:17:21,545 And I'm sure you're upset, but I'm hoping 596 00:17:21,628 --> 00:17:23,088 part of you is also proud? 597 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,506 - No. What the fuck? 598 00:17:24,590 --> 00:17:25,883 How could you do this to me, especially 599 00:17:25,966 --> 00:17:27,259 since we're hooking up? 600 00:17:27,342 --> 00:17:28,594 - Chill out, my slim-hipped cutie. 601 00:17:28,677 --> 00:17:30,053 - I'm sorry, but I had to do it. 602 00:17:30,137 --> 00:17:31,805 I honestly thought you'd sort of respect it. 603 00:17:31,889 --> 00:17:33,390 - Well, I don't. This is such a mess. 604 00:17:33,474 --> 00:17:34,516 I have to make a bunch of-- 605 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,185 - What the-- - Calls. 606 00:17:36,268 --> 00:17:38,103 - ♪ New style, down, down, do your dance ♪ 607 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,022 ♪ Do your dance ♪ - Ooh, he got caught 608 00:17:40,105 --> 00:17:41,607 in the "Cupid Shuffle." 609 00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:43,233 He's just being thrown around like a little pinball. 610 00:17:43,317 --> 00:17:44,943 - ♪ Down, down, do your dance ♪ 611 00:17:45,027 --> 00:17:46,487 ♪ Do your dance ♪ - How embarrassing. 612 00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:48,155 - ♪ Down, down, do your dance ♪ 613 00:17:48,238 --> 00:17:50,449 [rap music playing] 614 00:17:50,532 --> 00:17:53,786 - ♪ Me and the Claus going out, far out, tonight ♪ 615 00:17:53,869 --> 00:17:56,872 - Ho, ho, ho, KJ house! 616 00:17:56,955 --> 00:17:59,374 [cheering] 617 00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:00,793 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 618 00:18:00,876 --> 00:18:02,002 Y'all been naughty or nice? 619 00:18:02,085 --> 00:18:03,420 - Naughty! 620 00:18:03,504 --> 00:18:04,880 - All right, all right. 621 00:18:04,963 --> 00:18:06,799 Who want to come take a picture with Santa? 622 00:18:06,882 --> 00:18:08,759 - Santa should always be this ripped. 623 00:18:08,842 --> 00:18:10,302 - Honestly, well said. 624 00:18:10,385 --> 00:18:11,512 - Whoo! 625 00:18:11,595 --> 00:18:12,971 ♪ ♪ 626 00:18:13,055 --> 00:18:15,140 - Wait, is that Zoe from the coffee shop? 627 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,184 I didn't know she kicked it at the KJ House. 628 00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:19,728 - Yeah, Canaan invited her during our shift yesterday. 629 00:18:19,812 --> 00:18:21,647 - Ooh, and girly's wearing the little booty dress 630 00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,232 I helped picked out for her. 631 00:18:23,315 --> 00:18:24,817 Get it, Zo! 632 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,652 - You want to take a picture? - Yeah, yeah. 633 00:18:26,735 --> 00:18:28,362 One sec. I'll be right back. 634 00:18:29,404 --> 00:18:31,031 - Leighton, you need to chill out. 635 00:18:31,114 --> 00:18:32,658 We're in the middle of delibs. 636 00:18:32,741 --> 00:18:34,117 I'm in the templum. - Heard. 637 00:18:34,201 --> 00:18:35,494 But I need to tell you something. 638 00:18:35,577 --> 00:18:37,037 Natalie was telling the truth. 639 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,456 I gave her chlamydia, 640 00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:41,667 and I probably gave it to a few more girls too. 641 00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:43,794 It's been a weird month, but Natalie wasn't the one 642 00:18:43,877 --> 00:18:45,754 throwing the vibes off today. I was. 643 00:18:45,838 --> 00:18:48,757 I was being so CO, and I am so, so sorry. 644 00:18:48,841 --> 00:18:50,217 - Fine. Message received. 645 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,802 Now please stop texting. 646 00:18:51,885 --> 00:18:54,346 - Okay, but it's just Kappa is all I've ever wanted-- 647 00:18:54,429 --> 00:18:57,266 [phone beeps] And if given the chance-- 648 00:18:57,349 --> 00:18:59,810 and she hung up. Perfect. 649 00:18:59,893 --> 00:19:01,478 - ♪ Fuck it, get into it, yuh ♪ 650 00:19:01,562 --> 00:19:02,980 ♪ Yeah, you just wanna party ♪ 651 00:19:03,063 --> 00:19:04,606 ♪ You just wanna lap dance ♪ 652 00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:06,108 ♪ You just wanna pop up on these clowns ♪ 653 00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:07,943 - So I finally talked to Quinn, and-- 654 00:19:08,026 --> 00:19:09,278 what are you doing? 655 00:19:09,361 --> 00:19:10,445 - I'm going through Canaan's phone. 656 00:19:10,529 --> 00:19:11,947 - Stop. - Oh, please. 657 00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:13,323 You don't exactly have the moral high ground 658 00:19:13,407 --> 00:19:14,741 when it comes to choices right now. 659 00:19:14,825 --> 00:19:16,410 - [scoffs] Okay, brutal, but fair. 660 00:19:16,493 --> 00:19:19,079 Still, no good is going to come from you doing this. 661 00:19:19,162 --> 00:19:20,539 - Oh, my god. I knew it. 662 00:19:20,622 --> 00:19:21,832 I knew something was up. 663 00:19:21,915 --> 00:19:23,792 - Whitney, wait, wait. 664 00:19:23,876 --> 00:19:26,253 ♪ ♪ 665 00:19:26,336 --> 00:19:27,671 - What's up? - Oh, hey. 666 00:19:27,754 --> 00:19:29,131 I didn't know you'd be here. 667 00:19:29,214 --> 00:19:30,883 - Hey, thanks again for all the help today. 668 00:19:30,966 --> 00:19:32,551 You and Fred are the smartest people I've ever met. 669 00:19:32,634 --> 00:19:34,845 - And is that why you think we're, like, a match? 670 00:19:34,928 --> 00:19:36,555 [laughs awkwardly] 671 00:19:36,638 --> 00:19:40,225 - Look, he asked me to ask you, so I thought I'd help him out. 672 00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:41,393 Guys like Fred don't usually have 673 00:19:41,476 --> 00:19:42,644 a shot with girls like you. 674 00:19:42,728 --> 00:19:44,021 - What do you mean girls like me, 675 00:19:44,104 --> 00:19:45,731 like short, chatty? - Hot. 676 00:19:45,814 --> 00:19:47,566 - ♪ Like a piranha, y'all need to get-- ♪ 677 00:19:47,649 --> 00:19:49,359 - You're hot. - ♪ Like y'all need water ♪ 678 00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:51,778 ♪ I mean, it's only head-to-toe Balenciaga ♪ 679 00:19:51,862 --> 00:19:54,156 ♪ I mean, y'all bitches better yuh like Ariana ♪ 680 00:19:54,239 --> 00:19:55,824 ♪ If they ever tryna-- ♪ 681 00:19:55,908 --> 00:19:57,826 - You want to tell me what this text from Zoe is about? 682 00:19:57,910 --> 00:19:59,286 "Hey, thanks for meeting up with me. 683 00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:00,746 I know you're with someone, but I needed 684 00:20:00,829 --> 00:20:02,206 you to know how I feel." 685 00:20:02,289 --> 00:20:03,332 - You went through my phone? 686 00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:04,583 That's so out of pocket, Whitney. 687 00:20:04,666 --> 00:20:06,001 - Why are you meeting up with girls 688 00:20:06,084 --> 00:20:07,419 who have crushes on you? 689 00:20:07,502 --> 00:20:08,879 Are you trying to keep her on your bench, or-- 690 00:20:08,962 --> 00:20:10,255 - I don't have a bench, 691 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:11,840 and nothing happened between me and Zoe. 692 00:20:11,924 --> 00:20:13,258 The only reason I talked to her is because 693 00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,093 we work together, so I let her down nice. 694 00:20:15,177 --> 00:20:16,637 It's not my fault that she likes me. 695 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,096 - Well, then, why would you keep that from me? 696 00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:19,389 - Because I knew you would overreact 697 00:20:19,473 --> 00:20:21,266 like this, like you did before. 698 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:22,768 - Canaan-- - I need a beat. 699 00:20:22,851 --> 00:20:25,520 - No, I didn't mean-- - I said need a beat. 700 00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:27,606 - ♪ It looked good on paper ♪ 701 00:20:27,689 --> 00:20:30,817 ♪ So I sparked a match and lit it on fire ♪ 702 00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:33,362 ♪ Dun, dun, ah, dun, dun, ah ♪ 703 00:20:33,445 --> 00:20:35,906 ♪ Dun, dun, ah, dun, dun, ah ♪ 704 00:20:35,989 --> 00:20:37,449 ♪ When you got too close ♪ 705 00:20:37,532 --> 00:20:39,785 ♪ I watched us go up in smoke ♪ 706 00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:41,119 ♪ But it's all right ♪ 707 00:20:41,203 --> 00:20:42,287 - It'll be fine. 708 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:43,455 Just let Canaan sleep it off 709 00:20:43,538 --> 00:20:44,790 and go see him in the morning. 710 00:20:44,873 --> 00:20:46,458 - I really don't want to talk about it. 711 00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:47,626 [text whooshes] 712 00:20:47,709 --> 00:20:49,127 - Ugh. 713 00:20:50,796 --> 00:20:52,589 - How do I tell my mom I won't be a Kappa? 714 00:20:52,673 --> 00:20:53,924 - Oh. For what it's worth, 715 00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:55,509 I think you're better off without them. 716 00:20:55,592 --> 00:20:57,636 - I just always thought being a Kappa 717 00:20:57,719 --> 00:21:00,847 was the first step to a certain life. 718 00:21:00,931 --> 00:21:03,308 But, yeah. 719 00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:04,643 Yeah, maybe I don't need that. 720 00:21:04,726 --> 00:21:06,311 You know, this might be for the best. 721 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:07,688 - It is. And hey, 722 00:21:07,771 --> 00:21:10,357 maybe start a cool queer sorority or something. 723 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,943 - Now I'm sad again. 724 00:21:13,026 --> 00:21:15,529 Oh. Well, there it is, 725 00:21:15,612 --> 00:21:17,781 my official rejection letter. - Damn. 726 00:21:17,864 --> 00:21:20,158 I didn't know they made envelopes so small. 727 00:21:20,242 --> 00:21:21,743 Kappas are ruthless. 728 00:21:25,914 --> 00:21:27,666 - Wait, what? I got in. 729 00:21:27,749 --> 00:21:30,002 - You did? - I did. 730 00:21:30,085 --> 00:21:31,169 Oh, my God. 731 00:21:31,253 --> 00:21:32,504 I'm so happy. 732 00:21:32,587 --> 00:21:33,922 - You literally just said not getting in 733 00:21:34,006 --> 00:21:35,340 was for the best. 734 00:21:35,424 --> 00:21:36,842 - Well, obviously, that was to protect myself 735 00:21:36,925 --> 00:21:38,218 if I did get rejected. Everyone, 736 00:21:38,301 --> 00:21:39,636 everyone, get in your filming positions. 737 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,848 I have an acceptance video to record! 738 00:21:42,931 --> 00:21:44,141 - [laughs] 739 00:21:44,224 --> 00:21:45,851 - I'm sorry you didn't get an envelope. 740 00:21:45,934 --> 00:21:47,060 - Oh, it's fine. 741 00:21:47,144 --> 00:21:49,312 Unlike her, I actually don't care. 742 00:21:49,396 --> 00:21:51,231 - ♪ Since you went away ♪ 743 00:21:51,314 --> 00:21:52,691 - Well, shit. 744 00:21:52,774 --> 00:21:54,860 [laughs] - Ahh! 745 00:21:54,943 --> 00:21:56,319 - Okay. 746 00:21:56,403 --> 00:21:59,239 - ♪ It's been a hard, long summer ♪ 747 00:21:59,322 --> 00:22:01,199 ♪ ♪ 748 00:22:01,283 --> 00:22:03,452 - Wait, Eric, I'm so, so sorry. 749 00:22:03,535 --> 00:22:04,870 - What you did was really screwed up. 750 00:22:04,953 --> 00:22:06,371 It made me look like an asshole. 751 00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:08,040 - I only messed with "The Catullan" because 752 00:22:08,123 --> 00:22:09,624 I was trying to do something good for "The Foxy." 753 00:22:09,708 --> 00:22:12,544 I wasn't trying to do something bad to you. 754 00:22:12,627 --> 00:22:13,879 - The site is good. 755 00:22:13,962 --> 00:22:15,547 - You read it? 756 00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:18,091 - It's really, really good. 757 00:22:19,092 --> 00:22:20,427 [dramatic pop music] 758 00:22:20,510 --> 00:22:23,388 - ♪ But you're like a diamond ♪ 759 00:22:23,472 --> 00:22:25,057 - Learning to code HTML was really hard. 760 00:22:25,140 --> 00:22:26,224 It's not as intuitive as-- 761 00:22:26,308 --> 00:22:27,392 oh, fuck. 762 00:22:27,476 --> 00:22:29,352 Keep going. [phone dinging] 763 00:22:29,436 --> 00:22:31,855 ♪ ♪ 764 00:22:31,938 --> 00:22:34,858 Wait, dude, did you hack our site 765 00:22:34,941 --> 00:22:36,651 and turn our cursor into "The Catullan" logo 766 00:22:36,735 --> 00:22:37,819 with a big penis? 767 00:22:37,903 --> 00:22:38,904 - I did. 768 00:22:38,987 --> 00:22:39,988 You fucked with our magazine, 769 00:22:40,072 --> 00:22:41,239 so I fucked with yours. 770 00:22:41,323 --> 00:22:42,491 But it's nothing personal, right? 771 00:22:42,574 --> 00:22:44,034 Just competition. 772 00:22:44,117 --> 00:22:45,327 - Right. 773 00:22:45,410 --> 00:22:46,578 And we're gonna burn "The Catullan" 774 00:22:46,661 --> 00:22:47,913 into the fucking ground. 775 00:22:47,996 --> 00:22:49,456 - I think what you mean to say is you 776 00:22:49,539 --> 00:22:51,249 and your friends are going to try and fail-- 777 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:52,584 oh, fuck, fuck, fuck! 778 00:22:52,667 --> 00:22:54,544 - I don't want to be fighting with you. 779 00:22:54,628 --> 00:22:56,004 - Me neither. 780 00:22:56,088 --> 00:22:57,672 It's just that I knew that Zoe was after you, 781 00:22:57,756 --> 00:22:59,216 and when I saw the message and knew I was right, I-- 782 00:22:59,299 --> 00:23:00,926 - It doesn't matter if she's into me. 783 00:23:01,009 --> 00:23:03,970 I'm a good-looking guy without, like, major problems. 784 00:23:04,054 --> 00:23:05,597 People are going to be into me. 785 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,432 The only thing that matters is I'm not into her. 786 00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:08,767 And you didn't believe me. 787 00:23:08,850 --> 00:23:10,477 - I did. 788 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:11,937 Kind of. 789 00:23:12,020 --> 00:23:14,481 I just needed evidence from your phone to believe it. 790 00:23:14,564 --> 00:23:17,067 Look, I know I was wrong, and I will never do it again. 791 00:23:18,485 --> 00:23:20,862 - Whit, I don't think this is going to work out between us. 792 00:23:20,946 --> 00:23:22,364 - Wait, what? 793 00:23:22,447 --> 00:23:25,534 - It's just, it shouldn't be this hard. 794 00:23:25,617 --> 00:23:28,120 I think we call it. 795 00:23:28,203 --> 00:23:29,496 - Wait, Canaan, please. 796 00:23:29,579 --> 00:23:31,331 Because of one thing? 797 00:23:31,414 --> 00:23:33,291 I know it's not one thing. It's a couple of things. 798 00:23:33,375 --> 00:23:35,043 But-- - This is best. 799 00:23:35,127 --> 00:23:38,088 You're lost right now, and our trust is broken. 800 00:23:38,171 --> 00:23:40,882 If I don't talk to you, Merry Christmas. 801 00:23:42,008 --> 00:23:45,011 [Low's "Just Like Christmas"] 802 00:23:45,095 --> 00:23:51,810 ♪ ♪ 803 00:23:51,893 --> 00:23:57,107 - ♪ On our way from Stockholm ♪ 804 00:23:57,190 --> 00:23:58,608 ♪ ♪ 805 00:23:58,692 --> 00:24:01,736 ♪ Started to snow ♪ 806 00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:07,701 ♪ And you said it was like Christmas ♪ 807 00:24:07,784 --> 00:24:12,205 ♪ ♪ 808 00:24:12,289 --> 00:24:18,128 ♪ By the time we got to Oslo ♪ 809 00:24:18,211 --> 00:24:19,421 ♪ ♪ 810 00:24:19,504 --> 00:24:23,842 ♪ Snow was gone ♪ 811 00:24:23,925 --> 00:24:29,514 ♪ And we got lost ♪ 812 00:24:29,598 --> 00:24:34,352 ♪ The beds were small ♪ 813 00:24:34,436 --> 00:24:39,191 ♪ But we felt so young ♪ 814 00:24:39,274 --> 00:24:44,738 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 815 00:24:44,821 --> 00:24:49,951 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 816 00:24:50,035 --> 00:24:55,081 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 817 00:24:55,165 --> 00:24:59,753 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 818 00:24:59,836 --> 00:25:05,592 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 819 00:25:05,675 --> 00:25:10,680 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪