1 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,633 - ♪ Get, get, get, get, get on up ♪ 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:09,759 ♪ Get on up ♪ 3 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,678 - [screams] Holy shit! 4 00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,304 How are you not freaking out? 5 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,141 - I am, I just freak out in a quieter way than you do. 6 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,475 Give me my phone-- - Ah! 7 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,144 - What hell is going on? 8 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,229 Bela, this better not be about another pic 9 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,605 of Pete Davidson in sweatpants. 10 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,940 - I can't believe I'm saying this, 11 00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:25,483 but it's actually better than that. 12 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,902 Look at what Nico commented on Kimberly's pic. 13 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:31,114 - "That dress tho." Eye-bugging emoji. 14 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,074 Oh, damn! He wants to fuck you. 15 00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,451 - That's what I said. 16 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,827 - No, I don't think that's true. 17 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,454 - Wait, has Leighton seen this? 18 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,205 - No, she's made it very clear she does not follow me 19 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,540 on social media. - Me too. 20 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,083 - Same. - And please don't tell her. 21 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,668 She gets mad at me when I touch her sweaters, 22 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,961 let alone her brother. 23 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:46,463 - So are you gonna reply to him? 24 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,423 - I thought I'd write back something cute. 25 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,384 Like, I could say, "That comment tho." 26 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,678 - Stop. No. That's bad. 27 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,054 Here's what you do. 28 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,806 Send him a picture, something tasteful 29 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,350 like pulling the top of your shirt way down 30 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,770 with your middle finger-- - Bela, too much. 31 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,229 8:00 AM. - [laughs] 32 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,106 - Oh, my God, he just deleted it. 33 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,441 - Wait, what? - What the fuck? 34 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,735 - He deleted the comment. It's gone. 35 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,153 Is this bad? 36 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,654 Like, maybe he decided 37 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,156 he doesn't like "that dress tho"? 38 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,367 - I mean, it doesn't seem good. - Hold up. 39 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,495 Nico deleting the comment is a good thing. 40 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,705 It means that not only was he into your picture-- 41 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,666 wink, wink-- but he thought about it enough 42 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,169 to actually come back to it again later. 43 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,545 He's basically obsessed with you. 44 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,089 - Wow, Bela may actually have a point. 45 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,509 - Mm-hmm. - You know what? No. 46 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,177 I will not drive myself crazy 47 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,970 waiting on some man's attention. 48 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:39,682 I refuse to overthink this. 49 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,184 - Mm-hmm. [phone dings] 50 00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,646 - Ugh. 51 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,524 - Well? - It's a coupon for Panera. 52 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,900 - ♪ First thing first, I'm a winner ♪ 53 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,485 ♪ You ain't even competition ♪ 54 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,403 ♪'Cause my land ain't for beginners ♪ 55 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,364 ♪ Only getting better when my head is getting bitter ♪ 56 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,907 ♪ Yes, I gotta keep it moving 'cause I never... ♪ 57 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,617 - I know we're collecting these clothes 58 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,118 for people who need them, 59 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,995 but, really, haven't they been through enough? 60 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,373 - But these clothes are to help get people off the streets, 61 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,542 not into Dean & DeLuca for brunch. 62 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,627 - Oh, my God, do you think that's a brunch place? 63 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,379 - Hey, Leight, um, a bunch of us are going 64 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,298 to a drag queen trivia tonight, if you wanna join. 65 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,218 - Yeah, the winning team gets a free eyebrow shaping 66 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,721 and a photo with Vermont's best drag queen, Miranda Penis. 67 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,015 - I actually have plans tonight. 68 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,226 Theta's throwing one of their biggest parties of the year, 69 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,936 the Theta-lympics. 70 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,231 What? Why are you all so quiet? 71 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,817 Did I accidentally say something triggering again? 72 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,694 - Hey, I get that your brother is in Theta, 73 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:35,947 but frats can be extremely sexist, toxic nightmares. 74 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,407 I mean, we have been campaigning 75 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,742 to abolish Greek life for over a year now. 76 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,744 - Okay, look, I know frats get a bad rap, 77 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,163 all right, but Theta actually does a lot of good. 78 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,583 They just finished a construction project in Mexico. 79 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,544 - Yeah, on the Señor Frog's that they burned down. 80 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,212 - Okay, fine, maybe they're not perfect. 81 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,424 But have any of you even been to a frat party? 82 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,967 Hmm? 83 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,677 - I chained myself to a tree outside one once. 84 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,930 - So we're making a judgmental assumption? 85 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,016 - You're right. - Thank you. 86 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,143 - Yeah, I mean, we shouldn't be judging Theta 87 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,394 until we go to one of their parties. 88 00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:07,604 - Mm-hmm. 89 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,897 - So maybe we should all go tonight. 90 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,106 - No! 91 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,691 Oh, no, no, come on. 92 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:15,111 I mean, you guys have your super fun drag queen thing. 93 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,071 - No, no, no, no, let's give Theta a chance 94 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,281 to prove us wrong. 95 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,074 Send me that invite. 96 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,993 - I can. 97 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,786 Just FYI, they did photoshop a boob 98 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:24,996 into the Theta logo. 99 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,873 - And we're off to a great start. 100 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:31,461 [upbeat music] 101 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,630 ♪ ♪ 102 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,840 - I have the coolest fucking plans tonight. 103 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,384 "The Catullan" editors are throwing 104 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,929 a wine and cheese soirée. 105 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,430 - Yeah, that doesn't sound cool. 106 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:44,307 But, hey, things must be going well 107 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,475 if they invited you over. 108 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,935 - Oh, no, they didn't invite me. 109 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,478 I overheard them invite someone else, 110 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,063 so I got all the deets I need to crash it. 111 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,481 - Do we need to say something, 112 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:52,982 or do we just let her do this craziness? 113 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,651 I'm still learning your dynamic. 114 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,277 - Hey, I need facetime with these dudes 115 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,320 however I can get it. 116 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,988 I want them to respect me, 117 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,490 and this is a hell of a lot easier than growing a dick. 118 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,783 You know? 119 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,286 Hey, Hayden, sick tracksuit. 120 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,038 You get that at the Essex bookstore? 121 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:08,957 - Pfft, nah, it was team issued. 122 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,291 Drip-drip, right? 123 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,377 - Team-issued, like, for free? 124 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,003 We didn't get those, did we? - Nah. 125 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,172 The guys' team always gets more shit than we do. 126 00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,007 - Yeah, I don't know, these were just waiting 127 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,592 for us in our lockers after our last game. 128 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,178 - Which you lost. Badly. 129 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,390 - I mean, did we really lose if we had fun? 130 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,850 - Hmm. - And, yes, we lost 7-1. 131 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,770 - Are you kidding me? 132 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,398 - Welcome to the world of being a female college athlete. 133 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,149 I try to ignore it so I don't go insane, 134 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,276 but you should have seen me last year when I first saw 135 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,321 how much nicer their locker rooms are than ours. 136 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,115 - How much nicer is it? 137 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:44,367 - Exactly. I looked just like that. 138 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,453 [upbeat music] 139 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,373 ♪ ♪ 140 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,874 - Hey, Canaan. - Hey. 141 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,002 - You're kinda like my only male friend so far, 142 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,712 can I ask-- - Nope. 143 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,381 I see where this is heading, and I do not do dating advice. 144 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:02,635 - Oh, my God, no. This is so not about dating. 145 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,096 But it is about a boy I like. - Okay. 146 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:07,098 - Okay, when you're flirting with a girl, 147 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,018 do you ever comment on her Instagram 148 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,395 and then delete said comment later? 149 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,896 - Wait, what? - See, I told you. 150 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,523 You're dealing with a sociopath. 151 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:19,110 A hot sociopath. But honestly, most are hot. 152 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,821 - Look, Kimberly, I don't have time for this conversation. 153 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,239 And neither do you. 154 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,657 These Econ problem set is due at midnight, 155 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,826 and it's crazy hard. Focus on that. 156 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,703 - Okay, I just can't tell if he likes me or not. 157 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:29,912 - Hmm. 158 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,831 - Look, if he left a nice comment, 159 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,416 he probably meant it. 160 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,877 Either that, or he's a fuckboy. - So what do I do? 161 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,046 - You should do your Econ homework. 162 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,049 - Look, if you want to know if Nico's into you, 163 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,550 test it. 164 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,302 Post a story and see if he checks it right away. 165 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:46,179 If he does, that means you're really high up 166 00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:49,849 in his algorithm, and algorithms, they don't lie. 167 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,769 - Oh, my God, you're a genius! - I know. 168 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,270 - Okay, so what should I put in my story? 169 00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:56,606 Like a topical TikTok dance, or--[gasps] 170 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,649 I can do a SpongeBob impression. 171 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,068 - Okay. 172 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,987 - You should not have custody of your phone. 173 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,989 [upbeat dance music] 174 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,784 - ♪ Hit the mall and our fashion fits our flesh ♪ 175 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,243 ♪ Hit the club and I'll... ♪ 176 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,454 - Hey, my for-some-reason shirtless brother. 177 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,581 - Oh, I'd make up a reason for why my shirt is off, 178 00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,792 but, honestly, it's because I know I look good without it. 179 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,418 - [chuckles] - What's up? 180 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,796 - I need to bring some other girls with me tonight? 181 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,547 - Dope. Other Kappa hopefuls? 182 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,342 - No, they're from the, um, the Women's Center. 183 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,177 - Oh. Less dope. 184 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,929 Uh. 185 00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,764 Doesn't the Women's Center, like, hate the frats 186 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,224 and what to shut us down? - Yes. 187 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,433 But everything they know about frats is 188 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,976 from the Kavanaugh hearings. 189 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,853 All right, so just let them in, and they'll see 190 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,814 it's not as bad as they think. - Leight, you don't understand. 191 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,233 Theta is already on thin ice with the administration, 192 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,776 and one more complaint could get us shut down. 193 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,694 - They are not going to shut you down. 194 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,404 - Tell that to Sigma Chi. 195 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,657 They used to be down the block, and now their building is 196 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,283 an Amazon fulfillment center. 197 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,410 Look, Leight, please. 198 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:55,164 Just do us both a favor and convince them not to come. 199 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,169 - [clears throat] So upon some reflection, 200 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,630 I think we should all go to your drag thing. 201 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,257 - Uh, sorry, Leight, a deals a deal. 202 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,591 We're going to Theta. 203 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,176 - But if you want to support Miranda Penis, 204 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,097 you can Venmo her tips. It's @CharlesSmith78. 205 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,600 [phone dings] 206 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,394 - Dude, these sombreros are awesome. 207 00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,234 - Is anyone in our delegation a Women Studies major? 208 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,528 - Fuck no. - Minor? 209 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,029 - Get out of here with that crap. 210 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,489 - No? 211 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:29,615 Shit. 212 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,368 - This is Whitney Chase, starting forward 213 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,828 for the Essex Women's soccer team, 214 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,247 and I am documenting the disparity 215 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,374 between male and female student athletes. 216 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:41,419 Now, I have been told that the men's locker room is 217 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,504 significantly nicer than the women's. 218 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,381 And, honestly, I-- 219 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,885 Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. 220 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,887 This is insane. 221 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,264 Wood-paneled lockers? 222 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,726 And next up, the Essex fox mascot uniform 223 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,061 to cheer them on while they dry their balls. 224 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,230 And let's see what else they've got-- 225 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,899 - What the fuck? - Oh, shit. 226 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,776 Sorry. 227 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,403 - What the hell were you thinking? 228 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,405 - I was spotlighting injustice so I could go public 229 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,032 with the footage and get it fixed. 230 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,076 - Right, 'cause news outlets regularly share videos 231 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,204 of floppy 18-year-old penises. 232 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,372 Do you know how much trouble you could have gotten into? 233 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,834 You're lucky I convinced Coach Jim to let this go. 234 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,127 - So that's your plan? 235 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,378 Just look away and condone a system 236 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,922 where we get treated worse? 237 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:30,760 - Chase, I am a 54-year-old lesbian soccer coach. 238 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,639 You don't need to tell me how hard it is for female athletes. 239 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,974 Okay, and no, that's not all I'm doing. 240 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,601 I'm also benching you for two games. 241 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,270 - What! That is so unfair. 242 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,647 - You can go. 243 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,068 - ♪ I like it better when you hold me ♪ 244 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,694 ♪ Don't act like you don't know me ♪ 245 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,446 - Okay, so how soon after you posted the story 246 00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,240 did Nico look at it? - Two minutes. 247 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,283 - Damn, girl, my stalker doesn't even check 248 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,534 my stories that fast. 249 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,453 And he served time. Nico's into you. 250 00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,872 - Okay, and then he invited you to the Theta party? 251 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,123 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, yeah. 252 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,167 That's a sex invite. Shower good. 253 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,752 - No, you're crazy. 254 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,295 - Kimberly, there is no other way to interpret it. 255 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,005 Go for it, seize the dick. 256 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,966 - Okay, but then I replied with a GIF 257 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,802 of a baby running real fast saying, "I'm coming." 258 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,387 And he replied "JK," 259 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:17,306 and then, "Whoops, that was meant for someone else." 260 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,724 - And that was it? 261 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,310 Hmm. 262 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,187 Maybe I should just stay in and do my Econ. 263 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,439 I have to upload it by midnight sharp 264 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,649 or I get a zero. 265 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,484 - Or you should go tonight, 266 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,194 let him flirt like this in person, 267 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,488 and see if something happens. - I agree with Jocelyn. 268 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,864 And I say that as someone 269 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,825 with extremely high social intelligence. 270 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,493 All right, I'm gonna go crash a cheese party 271 00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:39,245 I wasn't invited to. 272 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,329 Seize the dick. 273 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,664 Seize the dick. - Hey! 274 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,249 - Seize the dick, seize the dick. 275 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,668 - [whispering] Seize the dick, seize the dick. 276 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:48,671 [upbeat music] 277 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,840 ♪ ♪ 278 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,175 - Bela, what are you doing here? 279 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,012 - Uh, duh, I'm here for the cheese thing. 280 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,596 You goof. 281 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,687 - Uh, hey, Coach Woods, you wanted to see me? 282 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,855 - Take a seat. 283 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,735 - Dalton, let's go! - Dalton? 284 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,280 - Okay, what is happening? 285 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,198 You mom has asked for a meeting. 286 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:20,536 So thanks for making a two-game suspension 287 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,912 a national security issue. 288 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,289 - What? 289 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,790 Coach, I swear I didn't ask her to do this. 290 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,208 I mean, I only-- [computer dings] 291 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,210 - Hello. - Mom, what the hell? 292 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,837 - I'm reaching out to your coach 293 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,881 because I would like for her to explain 294 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,300 why my daughter called me, all upset, 295 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,760 to tell me she had been benched 296 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,678 for standing up against discrimination. 297 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,555 - And we welcome that opportunity. 298 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,807 But we do have rules. 299 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,227 - Senator, I assure you, we love your daughter. 300 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,729 Like, all of us do. We all do. 301 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,190 Coach Woods included even more so than I. 302 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,358 - Oh, my God. 303 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,360 - I'm sorry, who are you? 304 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,570 - Uh, Dalton, assistant coach. 305 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,948 - Coach Woods, can you turn the screen slightly 306 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,117 to frame him out? - Oh, yeah. 307 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,036 - Now, as you probably can expect, 308 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,080 I cannot sit back and allow my daughter 309 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,498 to be mistreated. 310 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,166 I'm not saying I want to go to the dean 311 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,752 about a leadership change-- - Mom, stop it! 312 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,128 - Senator Chase, 313 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,048 I am willing to overturn my previous decision. 314 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:17,802 But, uh, I hope you understand why I took this so seriously. 315 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:22,431 [clears throat] Your daughter filmed naked boys 316 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,433 without their permission. 317 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,477 - Wait, I'm--I'm sorry, what? 318 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,604 - Well, she's lucky the 17-year-old goalie 319 00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:29,939 stayed in the sauna 320 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,857 since that would legally be the creation 321 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,943 of child pornography. 322 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,778 - Could you angle me towards my daughter? 323 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,321 - Oh, yeah, you bet. 324 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,323 - Nudes of a minor? 325 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,242 Jesus, Whitney, we're not the Kennedys. 326 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,661 - Mom, I'm sorry, I just wanted to make things right. 327 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,455 - You and I will talk about this later. 328 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,165 - Yeah. - [chuckles] 329 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,669 Thanks again, Gertrude. Appreciate your time. 330 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,921 Girl, I love that blouse. [chuckles] 331 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,048 - [chuckles] 332 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,134 [sighs] 333 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,969 [upbeat music] 334 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,679 - Hey, what are you guys talking about over here? 335 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,055 How cool this guy's hair is? 336 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,307 - Hmm? - We were discussing Franzen. 337 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,892 - Ugh, Franzen sucks. 338 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,853 My parents used to keep this box of white Zinfandel 339 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:09,979 in their fridge. 340 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,313 One time, I drank it all and barfed 341 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,815 in my cat's litter box. 342 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,651 [chuckling] - Do you mean Franzia? 343 00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:18,070 The boxed wine? 344 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,657 - No, no, I was obviously joking, guys. 345 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,453 - Uh, but hey, I'm gonna get that, uh, cheese platter 346 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:28,372 somebody brought and eat something 347 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,124 off of it. 348 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,042 [sighs] 349 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,799 - So which person here do you find the most insufferable? 350 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,217 I'm going with the girl who's mentioned 351 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,637 studying abroad in Syria, like, nine times. 352 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,181 Oh, by the way, 353 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,891 I thought that last piece you wrote was great. 354 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,851 The one about all the people your immigrant dad 355 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,519 keeps confusing with Jennifer Garner? 356 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,730 - Cool, thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it. 357 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,607 I can say it comes from a real place. 358 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,359 My immigrant dad confuses a lot of people with Jennifer Garner. 359 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,986 - Well, I wrote some notes on it, 360 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,405 if you're interested. - Oh, my God. 361 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,990 That would be great. 362 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:06,869 [upbeat dance music] 363 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,039 - We tossed all the sombreros, kimonos, and fake afros. 364 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,708 We tried to get rid of any and all triggers. 365 00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:14,543 - Yeah, yeah, I mean, it looks good. 366 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,961 I can't imagine the Women's Center crew 367 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,838 being offended by any of this. 368 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,758 - Leighton, hi. May we enter? 369 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,092 Where is everybody? 370 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,844 Does the party not begin at 8 o'clock? 371 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,888 - It's 8:05, that's an insane time to arrive 372 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,431 for an 8 o'clock party. 373 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,558 - Uh, can I take your coat? 374 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,685 - I will keep it on and buttoned, thank you. 375 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,146 - Great, yeah, whatever makes you comfortable. 376 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,898 - I made you a bread. 377 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,526 - Oh, that's--wow, it's so heavy. 378 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:42,112 Cool. Uh, please. Let me show you around. 379 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,992 - Nico, what a lovely craftsman home you have. 380 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,161 - ♪ For life ♪ 381 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,413 ♪ ♪ 382 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,915 ♪ Take my hand ♪ 383 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,876 - So tonight is gonna be a shitshow, isn't it? 384 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,753 - Heh, oh, yeah. 385 00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,214 Um, do you want a drink? 386 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,924 - Oh, I already started in the driveway. 387 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,926 But yeah, let's continue drinking. 388 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,719 Please. - [laughs] 389 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,889 - Ginger, is that a bodycam? 390 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,601 - What? No, no. This is a normal broach. 391 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,813 - Yeah, I think if you make a few of these cuts, 392 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:16,897 it'll be great. 393 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,274 You should totally include this 394 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,483 in your final writing submission. 395 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,902 - Really? Cool, thank you so much. 396 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,279 Should we go back out there? 397 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,613 - Hey, before we go, I want to show you 398 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,448 this funny video I saw. - Sure. 399 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,866 After yours, I have one too. 400 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,952 It's a lady who falls with a milkshake. 401 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:33,163 [moaning from computer] 402 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,838 - Theta-lympics are a celebration 403 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,173 of competition and pageantry. 404 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,843 Uh, specifically, drinking competition 405 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,803 and drinking pageantry. - Okay. 406 00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:50,139 - But note that we take every possible precaution. 407 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,808 Drinks are poured by licensed bartenders. 408 00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,143 And two brothers have been designated 409 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,185 as sober problem-solvers. 410 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,645 - You can calm down. 411 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,147 Look, I know that you think I'm some, like, 412 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,482 big, scary lesbian protester-- - Whoa! 413 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,859 - Coming to get you. 414 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,486 - I did not know that you are a lesbian. 415 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,739 It would be rude if I'd assumed that. 416 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,324 - Nico, less. 417 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,327 - Hey, so, I'm just here to have a good time. 418 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,872 Now, would you please hold my feet for a keg stand? 419 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,542 - Only if you hold mine afterwards. 420 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,629 Equality. - Oh, my God. 421 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,839 - Okay, cool. Needs more ice. 422 00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:26,634 - Uh, actually, I am gonna go make sure 423 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,469 that Ginger has her gluten-free beer. 424 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,013 Check on her. 425 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,475 - But really, I'm here for me. Not for him. 426 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,894 I don't even care if I see him. - Okay, good. 427 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:39,021 - Yeah, tonight's a "me" night. - Mm. 428 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,565 - But in the event that I do see him, 429 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,525 should I mention him deleting the Instagram comment? 430 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,402 - Hi, what's going on over here? 431 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,779 Actually, I don't care. 432 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,364 I'm just trying to avoid someone, so. 433 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,657 - Damn, okay. 434 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,033 - Hey, there she is. - Hey. 435 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,159 - How was the wine and cheese thing? 436 00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:53,661 - It was fine. 437 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,621 - That's it? - Yeah, what? 438 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,414 What's wrong? - You're acting weird. 439 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,416 - Yeah, your vibes are way off. 440 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,877 - Yeah, um, something sort of weird actually did happen. 441 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,838 One of "The Catullan" editors was giving me notes on a piece, 442 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,216 and then he put on a porn. 443 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,718 - What? Why did he do that? - Were you hooking up with him? 444 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,470 - No, we were just talking, and then he put it on. 445 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,264 - So like a predator does. - No, not like a predator. 446 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,808 - It was friendly. 447 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,643 He said he just wanted to show me a funny video. 448 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:20,270 - And the funny video was porn? - Bela, I don't like this. 449 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,939 - Was the porn even funny though? 450 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,399 - That's the thing, I couldn't figure out 451 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,608 what the funny part was, 452 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,734 but I must have missed something. 453 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,319 It's fine. 454 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:30,322 - Well, do you remember what it was called? 455 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,116 [moaning from phone] 456 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,326 - Maybe he thought it was funny that they kept their socks on? 457 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,120 - No, I don't think so. 458 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,163 - Is it funny that his balls are a different color 459 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,415 than his penis? 460 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,333 - Was he laughing while you were watching? 461 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,710 - No, he was just staring at it 462 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,253 and, like, breathed heavy. 463 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,088 We didn't even make eye contact until it ended. 464 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:49,299 - Yeah, hey, final decision. This guy is weird as fuck. 465 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,135 - Yeah, I agree. You should avoid him. 466 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,970 - Okay, if this was Eric, that would be one thing, 467 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,389 but this is Ryan. He's the nice one. 468 00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:56,598 - Hey! 469 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,100 No watching porn tonight! 470 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,352 We are on our best behavior. 471 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:05,149 [driving dance music] 472 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,650 - Okay, all right, this is gonna be okay. 473 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,026 But listen, I'm gonna need you to sweep 474 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,319 like you've never swept before. 475 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,696 - Yo, I am the king of sweeping. 476 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,115 Hit it. - Go. Okay, go! Go, sweep! 477 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,783 Sweep! Oh! 478 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,660 - What! - Fuck yes! Yes. 479 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,455 [all cheering] 480 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,623 - Looks like Nico's got himself a new Barbie doll. 481 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,125 - Her? 482 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,294 Girl, what the hell did your Barbie dolls look like? 483 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,629 - Great job, Nico! - Hey! 484 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,506 - Hey! - Thanks, man. 485 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,551 [awkward laughter] 486 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,136 - Did he just call you "man"? 487 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:37,055 - Maybe he said "ma'am." - That's not better. 488 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,520 - Hey! - Hey! Thank you! 489 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,646 - All right, I'm gonna get you later. 490 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,814 - All right, sounds good. 491 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,857 - Oh. - Oof. 492 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,484 - What the hell, I just-- 493 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,319 - Oh. - Of course it's you. 494 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,154 - Oh, take it easy. What are you gonna do? 495 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,323 Grab some more pics of my dick for your personal collection? 496 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:55,991 - That's not what I was doing. - Okay. 497 00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:58,660 - Look, do you think it's fair that a men's soccer team 498 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,496 with a losing record gets tons of swag 499 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,499 while a women's team with a winning record gets nothing? 500 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,584 - Okay, I think that we get shit 501 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,753 because people actually come to our games. 502 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,421 And people prefer men's sports 503 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,173 because we're better natural athletes. 504 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:14,384 We're stronger, we're faster, and we have bigger muscles. 505 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,136 Was that too real of an answer for you? 506 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,263 - You really think you're faster than me? 507 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,681 - Yeah, mm-hmm. 508 00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:22,893 - Prove it. 509 00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,854 ♪ ♪ 510 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,190 - [chuckling] 511 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,944 - Um, why are there so many sombreros in that dumpster? 512 00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,404 - I think when they heard we were coming, 513 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,323 they ditched some of the more problematic elements 514 00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:37,908 of this party, and by problematic, 515 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,953 I do mean deeply, deeply racist. 516 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,538 - We? - Huh? 517 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,706 - You just said, "When they heard we were coming." 518 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,750 What, are--are you one of us now? 519 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,794 - Oh, a Women's Center person? 520 00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,880 Um, are you insane? I would sooner do improv. 521 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,550 - Oh, God, we're that bad? 522 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,385 - Yeah, you're right, I crossed a line. 523 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,263 - Ooh. [both laugh] 524 00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:03,141 [zipper unzips, trickling] - oh, oh, yeah... 525 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,103 - Dude, can you please not take a piss right next to us? 526 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:09,565 I mean, I came here to drink, not see the side of your dick. 527 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,859 - Whatever. - Asshole. 528 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,444 - If you don't like it, leave, you dyke. 529 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,909 - What the fuck did you just call me? 530 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,744 - Fuck off. 531 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,538 - Take that, motherfucker. 532 00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,623 Yes, this dyke is kicking your fucking ass! 533 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,877 - Alicia! Alicia! Alicia, stop! - Get off of me. 534 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,044 - What the hell? 535 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,296 - Who's side are you on, anyway? 536 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,881 - Did you see that? 537 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,847 - Wait, Alicia. Wait up. 538 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,223 Alicia. Alicia, stop. 539 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,725 - Why? 540 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,476 So that you can get mad at me for defending myself 541 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,145 against that fucking dick? 542 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:49,605 - No, I just didn't want to see you get hurt. 543 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,023 Okay, that guy could have killed you. 544 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,316 I know you think you're tough, 545 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:53,984 but you are fucking 5 feet tall. 546 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,986 - I am 5'2"! 547 00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:59,323 - Okay, I am so, so sorry that that happened. 548 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,867 Okay, and I'm so sorry that I brought you here. 549 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,077 I--I swear to God, I've never seen these guys 550 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,289 do anything like that before. - Yeah, of course you haven't. 551 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,499 Because they don't treat you like they treat me. 552 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,169 I'm just this queer girl that they can't fuck. 553 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:15,797 But you, you're this pretty, blonde, straight girl 554 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,383 who they actually think is worthy of respect. 555 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,761 - That--that's not true. - Yes, it is. 556 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:21,887 - No. 557 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:26,350 No--no, I mean, what-- 558 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,226 what you said about me. 559 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,561 You're wrong. 560 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,357 - What part am I wrong about? 561 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,737 [Black Belt Eagle Scout's "Soft Stud"] 562 00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:45,118 ♪ ♪ 563 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:50,207 - Whoa, I was, like, really wrong about you. 564 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,875 - Shut up. 565 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:58,340 ♪ ♪ 566 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:01,134 [cheering] - Let's go, let's go. 567 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:02,511 All right, all right. 568 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,389 First one to a mile permanently proves 569 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,182 which gender is superior. 570 00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:10,644 Three, two, one, go! 571 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:13,897 [partygoers cheering] 572 00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,941 - See me all day, baby. - I got you. 573 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,442 - Okay. - Yeah, okay. 574 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:27,661 - Hey, Kimberly, wait up. 575 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,871 Hey. - Hey. 576 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,123 - I feel terrible. 577 00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:32,499 Like, I invited you, I got busy, 578 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:34,334 and I barely saw you. 579 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,128 - Oh, I didn't even notice. 580 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,463 I was just hanging out with so many friends. 581 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,590 - Right. 582 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:43,301 - But I have to get going. Homework. 583 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:44,428 - Oh. 584 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,598 Do you want me to walk you? 585 00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:50,308 - Yeah, you can do that. 586 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,394 [chuckles] - Sure. 587 00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:59,067 - Give it up for feminism! - Yeah! 588 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,028 - I'm close! - You're gonna win! 589 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:02,654 - No, no, no, no, no! 590 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,823 - Yeah! That's right! 591 00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,366 Yeah, that's right! 592 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,952 I guess men are faster than women after all. 593 00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,579 Whoa! 594 00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,622 [crowd gasps] - Shit. 595 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,797 - Nevertheless, she persisted! 596 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:23,467 [partygoers cheering] 597 00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:26,636 [upbeat music] 598 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,680 ♪ ♪ 599 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,892 - So was the Theta-lympics everything you hoped for? 600 00:22:31,975 --> 00:22:33,185 - Yeah. 601 00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:34,644 I mean, no one spilled a beer on me, 602 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,647 so it was easily my favorite Theta party yet. 603 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,278 Hey, 604 00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:46,990 did you leave a comment on my Instagram and then delete it? 605 00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:49,910 - Yes. 606 00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:54,456 I didn't want anyone reading it and getting the wrong idea. 607 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,335 - The wrong idea like what? 608 00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,712 You're my sister's roommate, and I'm tutoring you, 609 00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:03,090 and I shouldn't be saying you look, uh... 610 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,468 You know. 611 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,513 [sentimental music] 612 00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:12,599 ♪ ♪ 613 00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:14,601 I should get back. 614 00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:16,895 - Thanks for walking me home. 615 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,313 - No problem. 616 00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:20,232 - ♪ Disappear ♪ 617 00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:23,819 ♪ ♪ 618 00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,571 ♪ There's all my tears ♪ 619 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,156 - Oh, shit. 620 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:34,287 - ♪ I've cried them all out ♪ 621 00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:41,128 ♪ ♪ 622 00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:45,048 - [sighs] Fuck. 623 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,802 - Fuck. 624 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:58,270 - ♪ Never let go of the grave ♪ 625 00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:00,856 ♪ ♪ 626 00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:06,444 ♪ Never even once said ♪ 627 00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,864 ♪ Explain ourselves ♪ 628 00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,867 - Are you seriously leaving right now? 629 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,035 - No, it's just late. That's all. 630 00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,331 - Look, I get it. 631 00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:20,792 I always used to rush away after sex too. 632 00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,546 Instead, you know, maybe you could just come sit down. 633 00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:27,048 We could order some Postmates, 634 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,342 maybe watch some "Indian Matchmaker." 635 00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:35,599 - Okay. 636 00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:39,978 Okay, I will stay for one to six episodes. 637 00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:41,479 - Okay. 638 00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,899 - ♪ Let it all go ♪ 639 00:24:43,982 --> 00:24:46,818 - Um, could I borrow your Netflix login? 640 00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:51,740 - Are you serious? Did you get hurt? 641 00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:54,159 - I'm fine. You should see the treadmill. 642 00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:56,286 My chin definitely dented it. 643 00:24:58,496 --> 00:24:59,915 - Whit, we need to talk. 644 00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:03,835 We can't do this anymore. 645 00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:07,631 - Are you breaking up with me? 646 00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:09,424 - It's my fault. 647 00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:11,134 This whole thing was wrong. 648 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,929 And it was inappropriate for me to ever go along with it. 649 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:15,889 - "Go along with it"? 650 00:25:15,972 --> 00:25:18,099 - Look, we just need to end it. 651 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,768 - I don't--I don't understand. 652 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,313 Wait, is this because of the--the call with my mom? 653 00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:25,190 - Whit, if she ever found out we're together, 654 00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:26,441 I'd be done. You know it. 655 00:25:26,524 --> 00:25:28,276 She would have me so cancelled. 656 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,946 It would be this big story, and no school would ever hire me. 657 00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,405 - Wait, so--so what now? 658 00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:34,574 We just go on pretending everything's normal, 659 00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,451 and you go home to your fucking wife 660 00:25:36,534 --> 00:25:38,578 and hope she forgives you and takes you back? 661 00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:45,335 - I never actually told her. 662 00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,299 - You shouldn't tell anyone, either. 663 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,426 We both have a lot to lose. 664 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,807 ["History & the Victors" by Catriona Irving] 665 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:01,184 [engine turns over] 666 00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:06,856 - What the fuck? 667 00:26:13,154 --> 00:26:16,491 - ♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪ 668 00:26:16,574 --> 00:26:17,742 ♪ ♪ 669 00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:21,037 ♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪ 670 00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:22,414 ♪ ♪ 671 00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:25,542 ♪ It's stopped by a look ♪ 672 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:30,505 ♪ And it doesn't take much to be misunderstood ♪ 673 00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:32,007 ♪ ♪ 674 00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:35,260 ♪ Freed by a sound ♪ 675 00:26:35,343 --> 00:26:40,557 ♪ Falling up the water of the roll of the rocks ♪ 676 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,394 ♪ It's not that I don't mind ♪ 677 00:26:44,477 --> 00:26:49,899 ♪ It's just I need a little time ♪ 678 00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:53,653 ♪ It's not that I don't mind ♪ 679 00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:59,200 ♪ It's just I need a little time ♪ 680 00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,411 ♪ And stop for a minute ♪ 681 00:27:01,494 --> 00:27:03,747 ♪ I don't care who's in it ♪ 682 00:27:03,830 --> 00:27:06,041 ♪ Your head chose ♪ 683 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:08,209 ♪ And your heart knows ♪ 684 00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:12,047 ♪ There's a lot of leaves in the sky ♪ 685 00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:15,133 ♪ Believe in your own shine ♪ 686 00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:19,387 ♪ Should say so, oh, oh, oh ♪ 687 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,348 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 688 00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:24,184 ♪ ♪ 689 00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,770 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 690 00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:28,855 ♪ It's ♪ 691 00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,732 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 692 00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:32,734 ♪ ♪ 693 00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:34,903 - Go to bed.