1
00:01:01,402 --> 00:01:03,860
ASTERIX
& THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
2
00:01:06,318 --> 00:01:08,277
The year is 50 BC.
3
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,193
All of Gaul
is under Roman occupation.
4
00:01:11,527 --> 00:01:12,527
All of it?
5
00:01:12,902 --> 00:01:13,902
No!
6
00:01:13,985 --> 00:01:16,360
One village of indomitable Gauls
7
00:01:16,527 --> 00:01:19,610
keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
8
00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:23,277
And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
9
00:01:23,443 --> 00:01:28,610
in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
10
00:01:31,443 --> 00:01:34,193
What I love in life
11
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,360
Is wandering day and night
12
00:01:37,527 --> 00:01:39,985
In the forest what's really fun
13
00:01:40,152 --> 00:01:43,193
Is going for a wander with my chum
14
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,443
It rhymes.
15
00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:46,860
Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
16
00:01:47,902 --> 00:01:49,068
Too much meat.
17
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,777
- Too much meat?
- Sure.
18
00:01:51,943 --> 00:01:54,068
Wild boar
for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
19
00:01:54,235 --> 00:01:55,318
Supper, too!
20
00:01:55,485 --> 00:01:57,068
Not to mention ale.
21
00:01:57,402 --> 00:01:59,152
It can't be good for us.
22
00:01:59,318 --> 00:02:01,068
What else is there to eat?
23
00:02:01,235 --> 00:02:04,860
I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
24
00:02:05,318 --> 00:02:06,360
vegetables.
25
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,027
Veg...
26
00:02:09,193 --> 00:02:10,360
Vegetables?
27
00:02:15,943 --> 00:02:18,110
You make me laugh, Asterix.
28
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,235
Hear him, Dogmatix?
29
00:02:20,943 --> 00:02:23,693
Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
30
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:24,860
Vegetables!
31
00:02:25,485 --> 00:02:26,568
You can laugh.
32
00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:30,652
I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
33
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,652
Same with the magic potion.
34
00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:35,318
Could be, it's bad for our systems.
35
00:02:35,485 --> 00:02:37,652
Where's the data, honestly? Where?
36
00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,235
Above all, do we really need it?
37
00:02:42,818 --> 00:02:43,610
You okay?
38
00:02:43,777 --> 00:02:44,860
No, I'm not okay.
39
00:02:45,068 --> 00:02:48,152
I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
40
00:02:48,318 --> 00:02:51,110
Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
41
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,818
You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
42
00:03:07,735 --> 00:03:09,277
Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
43
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,318
Ave!
44
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,443
Sorry, we're lost.
Who knew we're so near the village?
45
00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:18,527
Me. I kept telling you.
46
00:03:19,443 --> 00:03:20,485
- Didn't.
- Did.
47
00:03:20,652 --> 00:03:22,985
And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!
48
00:03:23,152 --> 00:03:24,527
"They get up my nose.
49
00:03:24,693 --> 00:03:26,818
"They can shove their menhirs."
50
00:03:28,068 --> 00:03:29,318
I'm a terrible liar.
51
00:03:30,818 --> 00:03:32,027
Leave this to me.
52
00:03:32,985 --> 00:03:35,068
I'll show you I don't need this.
53
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,027
Strength is here.
54
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:40,485
And here.
55
00:03:41,235 --> 00:03:43,818
Take a seat, sit tight
and enjoy the show.
56
00:03:47,568 --> 00:03:48,568
Hello.
57
00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:55,902
Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
58
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,360
You plan to step in?
59
00:03:57,818 --> 00:03:58,943
No, not allowed.
60
00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:09,277
Help me, silly!
61
00:04:09,402 --> 00:04:10,402
Harder!
62
00:04:28,652 --> 00:04:29,652
Not fair!
63
00:04:31,402 --> 00:04:32,402
Cheat!
64
00:04:32,985 --> 00:04:35,902
Not at all. Without it, same result.
65
00:04:42,693 --> 00:04:43,985
You don't have to.
66
00:04:45,277 --> 00:04:46,277
I do.
67
00:05:27,943 --> 00:05:29,235
Where is everyone?
68
00:05:29,818 --> 00:05:30,985
It's hardly fresh.
69
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:32,735
- And you are?
- What?
70
00:05:32,902 --> 00:05:33,943
No, nothing.
71
00:05:34,277 --> 00:05:37,360
Getafix, he won't let me smoke
my boar in the house.
72
00:05:37,527 --> 00:05:40,610
Just because
Mr Asterix has decided to quit
73
00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:42,027
doesn't mean I have to.
74
00:05:42,193 --> 00:05:43,318
Panacea!
75
00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:45,027
Panacea!
76
00:05:46,485 --> 00:05:47,568
Morning, girls.
77
00:05:48,152 --> 00:05:49,735
- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
78
00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:53,735
Hi, Panacea.
79
00:05:53,902 --> 00:05:54,902
Hi, Obelix.
80
00:05:57,277 --> 00:05:58,735
I just wanted to say...
81
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,485
I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
82
00:06:04,193 --> 00:06:06,068
Sweet, but what use is it to me?
83
00:06:10,277 --> 00:06:11,277
See you.
84
00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:14,902
She refused it.
85
00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:16,985
She refused my menhir.
86
00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:19,402
Obviously. It weighs a ton.
87
00:06:19,568 --> 00:06:21,860
What use is it?
Put it on her finger?
88
00:06:22,027 --> 00:06:23,027
Getafix, your sickle.
89
00:06:23,193 --> 00:06:24,568
Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
90
00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:25,735
Slow down.
91
00:06:28,485 --> 00:06:29,485
Say...
92
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,235
Asterix has the right
to change his diet.
93
00:06:36,527 --> 00:06:37,693
Not everyone else's.
94
00:06:38,652 --> 00:06:39,943
Getafix, what's wrong?
95
00:06:43,652 --> 00:06:44,443
I'm sinking.
96
00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:45,610
You're sinking?
97
00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:47,152
It must be quicksand.
98
00:06:47,318 --> 00:06:49,818
There is no quicksand in the region.
99
00:06:50,527 --> 00:06:52,568
If you ask me, someone needs to know.
100
00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:54,527
Chariot ahoy!
101
00:06:55,235 --> 00:06:56,985
Chariot ahoy!
102
00:07:00,318 --> 00:07:01,318
Excuse me.
103
00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:05,818
Some nights,
my voice just wants to scream
104
00:07:06,152 --> 00:07:07,568
Shut it, will you!
105
00:07:13,777 --> 00:07:15,777
For once, I had a customer.
106
00:07:15,943 --> 00:07:17,610
For once, you have fresh fish!
107
00:07:17,777 --> 00:07:19,818
What? My fish isn't fresh?
108
00:07:27,152 --> 00:07:28,193
I'll take a look.
109
00:07:51,277 --> 00:07:54,568
For Louise and Marcel
110
00:07:55,068 --> 00:07:56,068
Hold still.
111
00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:58,735
Bankruptis, already here?
It's not autumn.
112
00:07:58,902 --> 00:07:59,902
You were hit?
113
00:07:59,943 --> 00:08:02,860
- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
114
00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:05,068
My friends, how are you?
115
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,943
I come from China to ask for help.
116
00:08:08,652 --> 00:08:09,652
It's nuts!
117
00:08:09,943 --> 00:08:10,985
Why are you blond?
118
00:08:11,152 --> 00:08:12,193
I was going to say.
119
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,735
I'm a Gaul, all right?
Always have been.
120
00:08:14,902 --> 00:08:16,402
Please... No slip-ups.
121
00:08:16,568 --> 00:08:18,277
No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
122
00:08:18,443 --> 00:08:19,485
I'll explain. Come on.
123
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,610
That one...
124
00:08:32,068 --> 00:08:33,485
The beautiful girl fast asleep
125
00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:34,860
is a princess.
126
00:08:35,027 --> 00:08:38,110
Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
127
00:08:40,527 --> 00:08:42,152
You do know where China is?
128
00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:46,443
- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
129
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,485
That's her bodyguard. Miss Tik.
130
00:08:49,152 --> 00:08:52,277
Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
131
00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:55,277
She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
132
00:08:55,985 --> 00:08:57,360
A beautiful woman.
133
00:08:57,610 --> 00:09:00,068
A female bodyguard?
Don't make me laugh!
134
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,568
Go ahead, laugh.
135
00:09:01,985 --> 00:09:05,068
Share with us
your Alpha male experience.
136
00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:08,277
Alpha male, just try to touch her.
137
00:09:08,735 --> 00:09:10,277
- Be my guest.
- All right.
138
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,485
There you go!
139
00:09:42,235 --> 00:09:43,568
You drank potion?
140
00:09:44,193 --> 00:09:45,193
No.
141
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:46,985
I don't get it.
142
00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:49,110
I get what's going on.
143
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,152
And you'd better stop right now.
144
00:09:52,318 --> 00:09:55,443
Princess and I
are more than friends, see?
145
00:09:56,152 --> 00:09:57,277
- You are?
- We are.
146
00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:58,860
Princess...
147
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,277
We have arrived.
148
00:10:06,902 --> 00:10:08,068
What is all this?
149
00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,860
- It's the chief!
- Run!
150
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,985
Vitalstatistix
is chief of all us Gauls.
151
00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:17,610
Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
152
00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:21,402
Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
153
00:10:21,568 --> 00:10:22,693
Really?
154
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:25,068
He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
155
00:10:25,235 --> 00:10:26,402
- No.
- He's a crook!
156
00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:29,402
He sent me. Let me explain.
157
00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:32,360
Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
158
00:10:32,527 --> 00:10:34,985
daughter of the Empress of China.
159
00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:38,443
Who's she?
160
00:10:38,652 --> 00:10:40,318
- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
161
00:10:40,693 --> 00:10:44,443
Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
162
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,360
Getafix, is China far?
163
00:10:46,652 --> 00:10:49,402
Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
164
00:10:55,652 --> 00:10:58,818
Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
165
00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:00,652
and not devoid of emotion,
166
00:11:00,818 --> 00:11:03,818
allow me to give you a potted version.
167
00:11:03,985 --> 00:11:06,610
The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
168
00:11:06,777 --> 00:11:09,943
who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
169
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:11,693
over her nation's six kingdoms.
170
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:16,568
Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes,
171
00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:18,902
who secretly covet her throne.
172
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:23,652
The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
173
00:11:23,818 --> 00:11:25,568
whom you met in the village.
174
00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:27,277
So this is a flashback.
175
00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:33,235
Another vase?
176
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:38,152
Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
177
00:11:38,318 --> 00:11:42,277
I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
178
00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:44,443
Sa See, for your security, you know...
179
00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:48,985
Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
180
00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:50,568
I want to see Gaul.
181
00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:54,402
We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
182
00:11:54,568 --> 00:11:55,693
The answer is no.
183
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:58,610
Here, open this one.
184
00:12:00,402 --> 00:12:03,527
It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
185
00:12:04,193 --> 00:12:05,610
To buy a dress in Lutetia?
186
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:07,693
Sa See!
187
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,277
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
188
00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:22,360
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
189
00:12:22,527 --> 00:12:24,235
while your people endures famine.
190
00:12:24,402 --> 00:12:25,985
If I may, Your Majesty,
191
00:12:26,152 --> 00:12:30,027
Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
192
00:12:30,193 --> 00:12:32,693
No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
193
00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:34,068
Who is he?
194
00:12:34,193 --> 00:12:36,943
Pu Nee, my new strategic advisor.
195
00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:40,027
In Rome,
he wielded power and influence.
196
00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:43,985
Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
197
00:12:44,568 --> 00:12:46,943
Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
198
00:12:47,943 --> 00:12:48,985
Before I leave,
199
00:12:49,152 --> 00:12:51,777
have you considered
my marriage proposal?
200
00:12:52,068 --> 00:12:53,485
I spoke with Princess Sa See.
201
00:12:53,652 --> 00:12:54,652
And?
202
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,568
It made us laugh.
203
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,235
Make a woman laugh and...
204
00:13:03,318 --> 00:13:04,318
Sorry.
205
00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:07,485
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
206
00:13:07,652 --> 00:13:08,943
then so be it.
207
00:13:15,193 --> 00:13:16,193
Miss Tik...
208
00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:20,985
My faithful warrior,
209
00:13:21,527 --> 00:13:22,818
fetch my daughter.
210
00:13:46,485 --> 00:13:47,943
This is China.
211
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:51,652
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
212
00:13:51,818 --> 00:13:54,193
For a Phoenecian,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
213
00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:56,568
Ekonomikrisix!
214
00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:58,693
Get it into your head!
215
00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:01,277
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
216
00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:02,943
We are Gauls.
217
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,110
Gotix?
218
00:14:04,152 --> 00:14:06,360
As usual, we make all the efforts.
219
00:14:06,652 --> 00:14:07,652
Only you?
220
00:14:10,777 --> 00:14:11,360
Laugh?
221
00:14:11,527 --> 00:14:12,318
You're laughing?
222
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,652
Am I laughing about going blond?
223
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,818
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
224
00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:19,943
Go, yalla! I mean, let's go.
225
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,943
Put those helmets on! There!
226
00:14:22,443 --> 00:14:23,527
Let's go!
227
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:24,943
China is ours!
228
00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:27,652
No snooping.
229
00:14:28,277 --> 00:14:29,652
You need help?
230
00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:31,235
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
231
00:14:32,152 --> 00:14:33,443
They're genuine Louboutix?
232
00:14:33,902 --> 00:14:35,110
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
233
00:14:35,277 --> 00:14:37,818
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
234
00:14:37,985 --> 00:14:41,735
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
235
00:14:43,527 --> 00:14:45,985
Give my stall some space. Scram!
236
00:14:47,443 --> 00:14:48,568
You nincompoop!
237
00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:50,818
Sorry, Her Majesty.
238
00:14:50,985 --> 00:14:52,443
Sorry for my nephew.
239
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:55,152
He has his mother's temper.
240
00:14:55,318 --> 00:14:56,777
True, everybody says so.
241
00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:59,610
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
242
00:14:59,777 --> 00:15:01,860
I'll take them out of his wages.
243
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:04,027
- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
244
00:15:04,193 --> 00:15:06,193
Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
245
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:08,568
No one shakes hands here.
246
00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:10,277
- No one.
- Not one.
247
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,277
A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
248
00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:15,068
Gorgeous.
249
00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:19,027
Bankruptix, the nephew.
250
00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:21,277
I have my mother's temper.
251
00:15:21,443 --> 00:15:22,443
As well as...
252
00:15:23,193 --> 00:15:24,193
her eyes.
253
00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:28,652
I envy you your blond hair.
254
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,527
I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
255
00:15:32,693 --> 00:15:34,318
Nature decided for me.
256
00:15:34,693 --> 00:15:36,235
Your Imperial Majesty,
257
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:41,652
if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
258
00:15:41,818 --> 00:15:42,985
the honour's all ours.
259
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,152
Come in.
260
00:15:46,277 --> 00:15:47,318
A great vintage.
261
00:15:47,485 --> 00:15:50,527
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
262
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,693
On the nose, fruity notes.
263
00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:55,318
There's sunshine.
264
00:15:56,277 --> 00:15:57,693
There's pine and shade.
265
00:15:57,860 --> 00:15:59,860
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
266
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,110
Bananas.
267
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,527
And dates.
268
00:16:02,902 --> 00:16:05,902
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
269
00:16:10,277 --> 00:16:11,568
I want Gaul of it
270
00:16:21,152 --> 00:16:22,152
I'll take the lot.
271
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:26,777
Perfumes from Gaul?
272
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:28,735
But of course, Princess.
273
00:16:28,902 --> 00:16:30,693
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
274
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,443
Like me and my sales team.
275
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,360
This is the latest creation
276
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,443
that every Gaul lady would die for.
277
00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:38,610
Amphor.
278
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:39,693
Amphor?
279
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,402
I adore!
280
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:42,735
I adore, too.
281
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,110
Archers! Loose!
282
00:16:44,277 --> 00:16:45,277
Watch out!
283
00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:54,568
Sa See, are you hurt?
284
00:16:54,735 --> 00:16:55,985
No, mother, I'm fine.
285
00:16:56,152 --> 00:16:57,152
Anything broken?
286
00:16:57,193 --> 00:16:58,693
No, I'm fine.
287
00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:00,068
I meant the stock.
288
00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:01,152
Nice.
289
00:17:01,318 --> 00:17:02,568
Hey, Empress!
290
00:17:02,735 --> 00:17:03,902
Come out, hands up!
291
00:17:04,235 --> 00:17:06,152
And no one will get hurt.
292
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,735
You're encircled.
293
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,110
And slanted!
294
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,068
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
295
00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:15,610
And I added "And..."
296
00:17:19,943 --> 00:17:21,027
There's another exit?
297
00:17:21,193 --> 00:17:22,693
Yes. My secret passage.
298
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:24,610
In case customs raid...
299
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,402
I mean, in case of fire.
300
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:28,110
It's the fire escape.
301
00:17:29,027 --> 00:17:31,193
Miss Tik, take my daughter and go.
302
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,027
No, mother. Flee with us.
303
00:17:33,193 --> 00:17:35,152
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
304
00:17:35,318 --> 00:17:36,860
The traitor wants you.
305
00:17:37,318 --> 00:17:38,318
Let's go.
306
00:17:39,777 --> 00:17:41,235
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
307
00:17:41,402 --> 00:17:44,443
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
308
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,943
Like a ship's captain.
309
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:49,277
Go home and fetch the others.
310
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,652
What? Uncle Mahmood?
311
00:17:50,818 --> 00:17:52,485
No! Our other home.
312
00:17:52,652 --> 00:17:53,818
- That home?
- That home!
313
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:54,985
It's miles away!
314
00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:56,068
So get going!
315
00:17:57,235 --> 00:17:58,235
No, wait!
316
00:17:58,818 --> 00:18:00,443
Take good care of the princess.
317
00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:02,027
We are not losing this sale.
318
00:18:02,193 --> 00:18:05,568
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
319
00:18:13,152 --> 00:18:14,485
I'll work it out later.
320
00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:15,735
Take care, unc!
321
00:18:20,777 --> 00:18:22,818
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
322
00:18:22,985 --> 00:18:23,985
Leave this to me.
323
00:18:24,943 --> 00:18:27,193
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
324
00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,585
I went in there and...
325
00:18:35,752 --> 00:18:36,835
What happened?
326
00:18:37,002 --> 00:18:38,710
You got kicked in the head.
327
00:18:39,377 --> 00:18:41,085
All right, I get it now.
328
00:18:41,252 --> 00:18:43,168
So who's laughing now, Empress?
329
00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:45,377
Excuse me a second, who are you?
330
00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:48,710
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
331
00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:51,710
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
332
00:18:51,877 --> 00:18:54,335
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
333
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:56,710
A shifty little fish!
334
00:18:57,918 --> 00:18:58,918
Scour the kingdom!
335
00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:00,418
Offer a handsome reward!
336
00:19:00,585 --> 00:19:03,710
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
337
00:19:06,293 --> 00:19:07,710
I know my daughter.
338
00:19:08,043 --> 00:19:09,418
She'll come for revenge.
339
00:19:09,585 --> 00:19:12,627
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
340
00:19:12,793 --> 00:19:14,835
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
341
00:19:15,002 --> 00:19:18,835
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
342
00:19:19,002 --> 00:19:20,835
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
343
00:19:21,002 --> 00:19:23,835
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
344
00:19:24,002 --> 00:19:26,627
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
345
00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:28,085
What?
346
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,210
It's tricky.
The other 4 kingdoms' princes hate you.
347
00:19:31,377 --> 00:19:33,752
They claim you're not Emperor material.
348
00:19:33,918 --> 00:19:37,002
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
349
00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,960
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
350
00:19:39,252 --> 00:19:41,585
A tiny army.
The tiniest of all of them.
351
00:19:41,752 --> 00:19:43,502
In combat, it's hopeless.
352
00:19:43,668 --> 00:19:46,252
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
353
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:47,585
Naturally.
354
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:49,210
My idea...
355
00:19:51,752 --> 00:19:53,460
Take them away!
Let's go!
356
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,710
Take it easy!
357
00:19:54,877 --> 00:19:57,543
Easy! Mind the Empress
and my wares.
358
00:19:57,918 --> 00:19:59,252
China is ours!
359
00:20:31,502 --> 00:20:33,002
Princess, it'll be fine.
360
00:20:33,168 --> 00:20:34,168
I'm here for you.
361
00:20:35,085 --> 00:20:36,085
I'm here.
362
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:39,918
Don't worry. We'll help you.
363
00:20:40,377 --> 00:20:43,627
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
364
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:44,793
No!
365
00:20:47,127 --> 00:20:48,168
Not a chance.
366
00:20:48,752 --> 00:20:50,960
Was it just me
or did her story drag on?
367
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:56,418
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
368
00:20:57,127 --> 00:20:58,418
Vitalstatistix,
369
00:20:58,585 --> 00:20:59,793
it's a tradition
370
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,960
for us to help those in need.
371
00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:04,585
Not forgetting Bankrup...
372
00:21:05,377 --> 00:21:06,377
Tis.
373
00:21:06,585 --> 00:21:07,585
Bankruptix.
374
00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:09,543
The answer's no. There!
375
00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:11,043
It's often been yes.
376
00:21:11,252 --> 00:21:12,252
But it's no.
377
00:21:12,710 --> 00:21:14,085
I'm not feeling it.
378
00:21:14,252 --> 00:21:15,585
China's unknown to us.
379
00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,335
We don't know where it is.
380
00:21:17,502 --> 00:21:18,293
Sure we do.
381
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:19,460
Even I know.
382
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,543
It's the way where the sun rises.
383
00:21:23,335 --> 00:21:24,627
Stumped him.
384
00:21:25,127 --> 00:21:26,752
I don't know and I decide.
385
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,793
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
386
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,335
I depart to save my mother and country.
387
00:21:31,752 --> 00:21:32,752
Princess!
388
00:21:35,418 --> 00:21:36,627
I'm up for it.
389
00:21:37,168 --> 00:21:39,877
And anyway, I'm free right now.
390
00:21:41,085 --> 00:21:42,377
I'm free too.
391
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,127
I want to go too.
392
00:21:44,293 --> 00:21:46,293
You two! Who's in the chair?
393
00:21:47,668 --> 00:21:49,335
You're chief now?
394
00:21:49,627 --> 00:21:51,418
Discussion over. It's no.
395
00:21:51,585 --> 00:21:53,460
Are you out of your mind?
396
00:21:54,335 --> 00:21:55,877
Some village chief!
397
00:21:56,252 --> 00:21:58,085
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
398
00:21:58,377 --> 00:22:00,085
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
399
00:22:00,460 --> 00:22:02,960
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
400
00:22:03,377 --> 00:22:04,585
You and your Gaul!
401
00:22:05,210 --> 00:22:06,835
All because it's too far?
402
00:22:07,002 --> 00:22:08,710
As if you'd be going!
403
00:22:10,168 --> 00:22:12,502
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
404
00:22:14,168 --> 00:22:16,418
If some idiot
writes our history one day,
405
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:19,877
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
406
00:22:20,043 --> 00:22:21,668
Dogmatix travels more than you.
407
00:22:22,543 --> 00:22:23,627
Hear that, Dogmatix?
408
00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:27,585
Stones fired!
409
00:22:27,752 --> 00:22:31,002
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
410
00:22:31,168 --> 00:22:33,502
But anything more delicate, you're out?
411
00:22:42,752 --> 00:22:43,752
All right, go.
412
00:22:46,835 --> 00:22:48,543
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
413
00:22:49,377 --> 00:22:52,835
So you're starting on a journey
414
00:22:53,710 --> 00:22:55,918
So we're parting tonight
415
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,252
My heart has turned to...
416
00:22:59,710 --> 00:23:00,710
jelly
417
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,835
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
418
00:23:13,002 --> 00:23:15,960
Julius Caesar,
in his magnificent palace,
419
00:23:16,127 --> 00:23:19,418
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
420
00:23:19,585 --> 00:23:22,043
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
421
00:23:22,210 --> 00:23:23,710
I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:23,877 --> 00:23:26,627
Know what? I've had it up to here!
423
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,377
May I ask what you're doing?
424
00:23:33,543 --> 00:23:35,877
Packing my trunks and heading home.
425
00:23:36,043 --> 00:23:38,043
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
426
00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:41,960
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
427
00:23:42,377 --> 00:23:43,418
What do you mean?
428
00:23:45,127 --> 00:23:46,543
You can't be serious.
429
00:23:47,877 --> 00:23:49,960
What do you mean, another man?
430
00:23:50,627 --> 00:23:53,293
What is this? Infidelitatis?
431
00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:54,460
Nailed it.
432
00:23:56,418 --> 00:23:57,418
And...
433
00:23:58,877 --> 00:24:01,710
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
434
00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:04,293
Tabascos!
435
00:24:05,793 --> 00:24:06,460
Tabascos?
436
00:24:06,627 --> 00:24:07,627
The Greek?
437
00:24:11,293 --> 00:24:13,168
Tabascos the Greek!
438
00:24:13,627 --> 00:24:16,252
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
439
00:24:17,877 --> 00:24:19,793
to shack up with a gym teacher?
440
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,252
Well, we'll discuss this
after the lions.
441
00:24:25,252 --> 00:24:27,210
I forbid you to harm him.
442
00:24:28,252 --> 00:24:29,793
I love him, you hear?
443
00:24:30,585 --> 00:24:31,585
You love him?
444
00:24:33,002 --> 00:24:34,127
You love him?
445
00:24:35,752 --> 00:24:37,377
What's he got that I don't?
446
00:24:37,627 --> 00:24:39,252
He's an international gymnast.
447
00:24:39,418 --> 00:24:41,877
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
448
00:24:44,043 --> 00:24:46,127
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
449
00:24:46,793 --> 00:24:50,502
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
450
00:24:50,835 --> 00:24:53,168
Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
451
00:24:54,918 --> 00:24:56,668
May I, O Caesar?
452
00:24:56,835 --> 00:24:59,502
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
453
00:25:00,335 --> 00:25:04,252
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
454
00:25:04,418 --> 00:25:05,168
Ave, Caesar!
455
00:25:05,335 --> 00:25:08,085
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
456
00:25:16,335 --> 00:25:18,085
May I introduce Pu Nee,
457
00:25:18,252 --> 00:25:22,585
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
458
00:25:22,752 --> 00:25:26,210
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
459
00:25:27,002 --> 00:25:29,543
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
460
00:25:29,710 --> 00:25:31,335
Some men have neither.
461
00:25:34,793 --> 00:25:35,918
She's a looker.
462
00:25:36,293 --> 00:25:37,377
Well, half-pint?
463
00:25:37,752 --> 00:25:41,085
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
464
00:25:41,252 --> 00:25:43,627
in return for modest military support.
465
00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:47,252
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
466
00:25:47,418 --> 00:25:51,835
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
467
00:25:52,002 --> 00:25:53,502
I have conquered enough.
468
00:25:53,668 --> 00:25:56,918
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
469
00:25:57,085 --> 00:25:59,585
I love when you say that. Love it!
470
00:25:59,752 --> 00:26:01,960
What a way with words. Right?
471
00:26:02,293 --> 00:26:04,543
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
472
00:26:04,918 --> 00:26:08,210
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
473
00:26:08,377 --> 00:26:09,668
Vade retro, both of you.
474
00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:11,335
Caesar, may I point out,
475
00:26:11,502 --> 00:26:13,460
in terms of going down in history,
476
00:26:13,627 --> 00:26:15,710
in China, you are unknown.
477
00:26:16,127 --> 00:26:17,335
What was I saying?
478
00:26:19,002 --> 00:26:20,543
That's quite enough!
479
00:26:22,043 --> 00:26:24,460
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
480
00:26:24,627 --> 00:26:25,835
Unknown?
481
00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:27,210
Alas!
482
00:26:38,793 --> 00:26:40,252
He speaks the truth.
483
00:26:40,418 --> 00:26:41,543
In China, at least.
484
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,085
It's all good, don't worry.
485
00:26:44,793 --> 00:26:48,043
Pu Nee, step forward
to discuss our alliance
486
00:26:48,543 --> 00:26:49,543
with your land
487
00:26:49,710 --> 00:26:51,877
that will soon know my name!
488
00:26:54,252 --> 00:26:57,668
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
489
00:27:02,043 --> 00:27:04,460
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
490
00:27:04,627 --> 00:27:07,793
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
491
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:09,752
I added boar stomachs.
492
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,335
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
493
00:27:14,543 --> 00:27:15,627
The sunroof!
494
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,043
You know what?
495
00:27:18,210 --> 00:27:19,710
I made a perfect chariot.
496
00:27:20,085 --> 00:27:21,085
Magnificent.
497
00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:26,460
Let's go!
498
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,002
Princess, if you'd care to board.
499
00:27:34,293 --> 00:27:35,293
Too bad.
500
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,293
We'll have a great trip.
501
00:27:40,210 --> 00:27:43,502
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
502
00:27:43,668 --> 00:27:46,877
but Obelix tells me you don't need it,
so I...
503
00:27:47,293 --> 00:27:48,752
No, that's fine.
504
00:27:51,668 --> 00:27:52,793
But just in case.
505
00:27:54,460 --> 00:27:55,710
I'm cutting down.
506
00:27:55,877 --> 00:27:58,168
Watch out, I beefed it up.
507
00:28:04,335 --> 00:28:05,377
You had some?
508
00:28:06,668 --> 00:28:08,293
No, just a quick taste.
509
00:28:08,627 --> 00:28:09,668
Just to see.
510
00:28:12,418 --> 00:28:13,668
Good luck, Princess.
511
00:28:14,418 --> 00:28:15,460
As for you two,
512
00:28:15,835 --> 00:28:17,668
be brave, reckless
513
00:28:17,835 --> 00:28:20,252
and disingenuous. In a word...
514
00:28:20,752 --> 00:28:21,752
Be Gauls!
515
00:28:23,877 --> 00:28:25,002
Hold on tight.
516
00:28:25,377 --> 00:28:28,210
It'll be much faster
than on the way here.
517
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,293
Sorry but can I just point out,
518
00:28:34,002 --> 00:28:37,877
the bard's role is to celebrate heroes
and their exploits?
519
00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:41,585
If I never travel, what am I?
520
00:28:43,127 --> 00:28:44,127
Excellent idea.
521
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,460
Cacophonix will go with...
522
00:28:51,543 --> 00:28:53,085
They forgot me.
523
00:28:53,918 --> 00:28:56,835
They forgot me!
524
00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:05,710
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
525
00:29:05,877 --> 00:29:09,293
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
526
00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,377
is faster than the Silk Road.
527
00:29:12,252 --> 00:29:14,752
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
528
00:29:14,918 --> 00:29:16,127
thanks to Obelix,
529
00:29:16,293 --> 00:29:18,377
they reach northern Africa.
530
00:29:25,043 --> 00:29:26,460
Rub and wring.
531
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,918
Miss Tik, I asked to learn kung fu.
532
00:29:31,835 --> 00:29:32,960
Rub...
533
00:29:34,002 --> 00:29:35,168
and wring.
534
00:29:42,127 --> 00:29:43,335
No, not again.
535
00:29:44,918 --> 00:29:46,752
All good? Enjoying the show?
536
00:29:46,918 --> 00:29:49,627
Want a beer? A chair?
Coming right up.
537
00:29:50,752 --> 00:29:53,293
Not coming up! What are you doing?
538
00:29:53,460 --> 00:29:54,460
Same as you.
539
00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:56,252
She knows you peep?
540
00:29:56,418 --> 00:29:57,710
I might tell her.
541
00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:02,460
Sublime!
542
00:30:03,168 --> 00:30:04,918
She's learning to do laundry
543
00:30:05,085 --> 00:30:08,502
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
544
00:30:09,502 --> 00:30:12,210
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
545
00:30:12,377 --> 00:30:13,627
Don't make me laugh.
546
00:30:13,835 --> 00:30:16,835
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn deaf?
547
00:30:17,002 --> 00:30:20,168
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
548
00:30:20,335 --> 00:30:21,335
Really?
549
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,085
No way!
550
00:30:23,293 --> 00:30:25,043
My friends, once and for all,
551
00:30:25,210 --> 00:30:28,168
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
552
00:30:29,418 --> 00:30:31,418
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
553
00:30:31,585 --> 00:30:33,252
I love weddings. Love them.
554
00:30:33,418 --> 00:30:35,168
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
555
00:30:35,335 --> 00:30:37,502
Know what? You'll be my best man.
556
00:30:38,335 --> 00:30:40,627
Thank you.
I was never anyone's best man.
557
00:30:41,085 --> 00:30:43,585
Can you stop being so gullible?
558
00:30:43,752 --> 00:30:44,918
It gets annoying.
559
00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,543
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
560
00:30:47,710 --> 00:30:49,043
They're not in love.
561
00:30:49,210 --> 00:30:51,627
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
562
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:52,960
It's on.
563
00:30:53,002 --> 00:30:56,127
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her...
564
00:30:56,877 --> 00:30:59,043
You're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
565
00:30:59,210 --> 00:31:03,460
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
566
00:31:03,627 --> 00:31:04,960
What about it?
567
00:31:05,127 --> 00:31:06,252
Your moustache...
568
00:31:07,418 --> 00:31:08,418
sucks.
569
00:31:11,710 --> 00:31:12,710
So lame.
570
00:31:15,460 --> 00:31:16,460
I went too far.
571
00:31:16,502 --> 00:31:17,585
Not the moustache!
572
00:31:17,752 --> 00:31:19,127
I know but he pushes me.
573
00:31:19,293 --> 00:31:21,085
Sure but not the moustache!
574
00:31:22,085 --> 00:31:23,085
What's he doing?
575
00:31:23,627 --> 00:31:25,960
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
576
00:31:26,335 --> 00:31:28,085
He's something else, your friend!
577
00:31:28,252 --> 00:31:29,418
She's coming our way.
578
00:31:31,918 --> 00:31:32,918
What's up?
579
00:31:33,085 --> 00:31:36,127
Nothing.
We're just looking for a date.
580
00:31:37,252 --> 00:31:38,335
For the wedding.
581
00:31:38,502 --> 00:31:40,127
No, to eat. The fruit!
582
00:31:40,293 --> 00:31:41,293
At the wedding.
583
00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:42,585
No, to eat here.
584
00:31:42,752 --> 00:31:43,960
I'm the best man!
585
00:31:44,293 --> 00:31:46,877
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
586
00:31:48,335 --> 00:31:49,418
Yes, let's go.
587
00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:53,752
Is it so hard
to let me do the talking?
588
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,252
'Night, Smartypants!
589
00:32:02,835 --> 00:32:04,377
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
590
00:32:06,002 --> 00:32:07,168
'Night, Veggie Lover!
591
00:32:07,627 --> 00:32:10,418
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
592
00:32:10,585 --> 00:32:12,127
'Night, Fake Blonde!
593
00:32:12,710 --> 00:32:14,627
Can't you just say goodnight?
594
00:32:15,752 --> 00:32:16,752
It was him.
595
00:32:16,877 --> 00:32:18,043
'Night, Miss Tik.
596
00:32:24,377 --> 00:32:26,418
You think Mother's still alive?
597
00:32:26,877 --> 00:32:29,918
The Empress
is the daughter of the heavens.
598
00:32:30,418 --> 00:32:32,002
No harm can come to her.
599
00:32:35,460 --> 00:32:37,793
'Night, I'm In Love
and can't admit it!
600
00:32:38,127 --> 00:32:41,585
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
601
00:32:41,752 --> 00:32:45,418
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
602
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:46,668
Enough!
603
00:32:46,835 --> 00:32:47,543
Yes.
604
00:32:47,710 --> 00:32:48,710
Sorry.
605
00:33:08,877 --> 00:33:11,043
Hello, how are you?
606
00:33:11,502 --> 00:33:12,793
Good trip?
607
00:33:28,668 --> 00:33:31,668
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
608
00:33:31,835 --> 00:33:34,293
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
609
00:33:34,918 --> 00:33:37,752
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
610
00:33:37,918 --> 00:33:42,168
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
611
00:33:42,335 --> 00:33:43,335
You too, merchant.
612
00:33:43,877 --> 00:33:46,543
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
613
00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:48,002
Balls for you!
614
00:33:53,002 --> 00:33:54,002
Day one.
615
00:33:54,627 --> 00:33:57,752
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
616
00:33:59,377 --> 00:34:00,377
you two...
617
00:34:03,210 --> 00:34:04,252
We have two lives.
618
00:34:04,418 --> 00:34:07,377
The second begins when we see
we have only one.
619
00:34:09,035 --> 00:34:10,035
I thank you.
620
00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:15,660
That's what I call an Empress.
621
00:34:16,285 --> 00:34:17,118
Love it.
622
00:34:17,285 --> 00:34:19,827
We have two lives and it ends when...
623
00:34:19,993 --> 00:34:22,160
The second life begins with...
624
00:34:23,743 --> 00:34:26,577
We have two lives
and when they begin...
625
00:34:27,410 --> 00:34:28,410
I thank you.
626
00:34:35,202 --> 00:34:36,202
Meanwhile,
627
00:34:36,285 --> 00:34:39,077
Caesar, his immense army and Pu Nee
628
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:42,535
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
629
00:34:42,910 --> 00:34:43,993
Or almost.
630
00:34:45,577 --> 00:34:46,743
This is the Silk Road?
631
00:34:46,910 --> 00:34:49,160
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
632
00:34:49,868 --> 00:34:51,868
Woopsus, what is this route?
633
00:34:52,368 --> 00:34:54,660
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
634
00:34:54,827 --> 00:34:56,327
I can't work like this.
635
00:34:56,493 --> 00:34:57,868
It's just impossible!
636
00:34:58,660 --> 00:35:00,493
Join the army, they said!
637
00:35:04,702 --> 00:35:06,785
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
638
00:35:06,952 --> 00:35:08,868
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
639
00:35:09,035 --> 00:35:10,202
So we'll go right.
640
00:35:10,743 --> 00:35:13,702
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
641
00:35:13,868 --> 00:35:16,452
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
642
00:35:16,993 --> 00:35:17,993
The upstart!
643
00:35:18,077 --> 00:35:19,702
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
644
00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,160
Risklus, imperial security.
645
00:35:24,618 --> 00:35:27,827
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
646
00:35:28,243 --> 00:35:29,993
Still on the campaign in Milan.
647
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:31,993
He's not reading my pigeons.
648
00:35:33,743 --> 00:35:34,910
Caesar, I'm here.
649
00:35:35,910 --> 00:35:38,660
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
650
00:35:38,827 --> 00:35:39,952
What do you want?
651
00:35:40,493 --> 00:35:43,952
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
652
00:35:44,118 --> 00:35:46,785
She has demands.
For respect or something.
653
00:35:46,952 --> 00:35:47,952
I beat her?
654
00:35:48,577 --> 00:35:49,577
Are you nuts?
655
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,202
Show her in.
656
00:35:54,535 --> 00:35:55,535
Tapioca!
657
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:04,035
So, Carioca, what do you want?
658
00:36:04,452 --> 00:36:07,993
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
659
00:36:08,368 --> 00:36:10,160
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
660
00:36:12,327 --> 00:36:14,910
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
661
00:36:15,618 --> 00:36:16,952
I'm sure I have no idea.
662
00:36:17,118 --> 00:36:19,618
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
663
00:36:19,785 --> 00:36:21,493
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
664
00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:22,660
Right...
665
00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:26,910
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
666
00:36:27,077 --> 00:36:28,077
It's a start.
667
00:36:28,118 --> 00:36:32,285
And let's talk
about the role of women in Roman society.
668
00:36:32,535 --> 00:36:35,452
Look closely
and it's all about men here.
669
00:36:35,618 --> 00:36:37,160
Gladiators? Men.
670
00:36:37,327 --> 00:36:38,660
Senators? Men only.
671
00:36:38,827 --> 00:36:40,285
Legionaries? Men only.
672
00:36:40,452 --> 00:36:42,035
Caesars? Men only.
673
00:36:42,493 --> 00:36:44,160
You want a Julia Caesar?
674
00:36:47,993 --> 00:36:49,660
You want Rome run by a woman?
675
00:36:52,118 --> 00:36:53,118
I see.
676
00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:03,118
Back to our friends.
677
00:37:03,285 --> 00:37:08,202
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
678
00:37:08,368 --> 00:37:12,077
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
679
00:37:12,243 --> 00:37:16,118
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
680
00:37:16,285 --> 00:37:17,535
Yes, like the canal.
681
00:37:23,660 --> 00:37:27,327
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
682
00:37:28,077 --> 00:37:30,785
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
683
00:37:31,243 --> 00:37:37,368
Dare to come and cast the first stone
684
00:37:40,618 --> 00:37:43,077
To fall for one head over heels
685
00:37:43,243 --> 00:37:44,952
leaves a wound that never heals
686
00:37:45,118 --> 00:37:49,202
But the love you feel is the real deal
687
00:37:52,410 --> 00:37:54,993
So don't be harsh or disapprove
688
00:37:55,660 --> 00:37:58,452
When a woman falls in love
689
00:38:00,452 --> 00:38:02,785
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
690
00:38:02,952 --> 00:38:05,618
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
691
00:38:11,952 --> 00:38:13,577
See? That's Gaul for you!
692
00:38:13,743 --> 00:38:15,077
I love this place.
693
00:38:15,410 --> 00:38:17,577
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
694
00:38:19,535 --> 00:38:20,535
Same here.
695
00:38:25,493 --> 00:38:27,868
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
696
00:38:28,243 --> 00:38:30,160
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
697
00:38:30,410 --> 00:38:33,035
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
698
00:38:33,202 --> 00:38:35,118
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
699
00:38:35,285 --> 00:38:39,077
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
700
00:38:39,243 --> 00:38:41,452
a lowlife
who wanted me as his floozy.
701
00:38:41,618 --> 00:38:43,452
And to clean me out!
702
00:38:44,327 --> 00:38:46,785
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
703
00:38:46,952 --> 00:38:49,285
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
704
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,910
What brings you blondies here?
705
00:38:52,285 --> 00:38:54,452
Looking for the best ship's captain.
706
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,535
He's your man. Titanix!
707
00:38:58,702 --> 00:38:59,702
He's reliable?
708
00:39:00,035 --> 00:39:02,785
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
709
00:39:03,743 --> 00:39:05,077
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
710
00:39:05,243 --> 00:39:06,452
Anything for a Gaul!
711
00:39:07,493 --> 00:39:09,118
Normally, mutts stay outside.
712
00:39:09,285 --> 00:39:10,785
But you're a real cutie.
713
00:39:17,327 --> 00:39:19,577
We're looking for a boat to China.
714
00:39:19,743 --> 00:39:22,410
China by sea? Too much hassle.
715
00:39:23,285 --> 00:39:24,743
Here's what I got for you...
716
00:39:24,910 --> 00:39:26,577
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
717
00:39:26,743 --> 00:39:29,827
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
718
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:31,910
Tasty.
719
00:39:33,535 --> 00:39:34,827
Another time.
720
00:39:34,993 --> 00:39:37,160
This is worth more than your boat.
721
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,702
Why didn't you say so?
722
00:39:40,202 --> 00:39:41,285
So how's it...
723
00:39:41,452 --> 00:39:44,327
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
724
00:39:44,493 --> 00:39:46,952
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
725
00:39:47,493 --> 00:39:49,535
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
726
00:39:49,702 --> 00:39:50,743
A problem, Tipsy?
727
00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:53,327
These gents want
to dip into my pockets.
728
00:39:53,493 --> 00:39:57,327
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
729
00:39:58,702 --> 00:40:00,910
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
730
00:40:01,077 --> 00:40:02,952
What do you want with the lady?
731
00:40:04,035 --> 00:40:05,160
You're the lightweight.
732
00:40:10,577 --> 00:40:11,577
Screwy.
733
00:40:11,702 --> 00:40:12,868
Princess, in Gaul,
734
00:40:13,035 --> 00:40:15,618
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
735
00:40:16,493 --> 00:40:18,660
flyweights don't listen.
736
00:40:46,618 --> 00:40:47,618
He's a lizard!
737
00:40:55,618 --> 00:40:56,618
What is this?
738
00:41:07,910 --> 00:41:10,702
A very, very strong batch.
He overdid it.
739
00:41:11,660 --> 00:41:13,660
Give me a drop. No one will know.
740
00:41:13,827 --> 00:41:14,827
No chance.
741
00:41:18,660 --> 00:41:20,285
One's yours. Take your pick.
742
00:41:20,743 --> 00:41:22,285
The big guy, I guess.
743
00:41:25,368 --> 00:41:26,410
Gentlemen...
744
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:39,368
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
745
00:41:39,868 --> 00:41:41,160
So it will hurt less.
746
00:42:00,243 --> 00:42:03,368
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
747
00:42:03,535 --> 00:42:05,493
containing a drop of magic potion.
748
00:42:05,660 --> 00:42:07,452
A kind of pick-me-up.
749
00:42:07,827 --> 00:42:10,202
We market it
as an invigorating drink...
750
00:42:10,368 --> 00:42:12,827
I'll come up with a name for it.
751
00:42:13,202 --> 00:42:17,702
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
752
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,035
we'll make a killing.
753
00:42:19,493 --> 00:42:21,910
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
754
00:42:23,243 --> 00:42:24,243
What's that?
755
00:42:24,493 --> 00:42:25,743
It's tai chi.
756
00:42:25,910 --> 00:42:28,743
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
757
00:42:29,785 --> 00:42:31,452
It's crazy, us meeting now.
758
00:42:32,077 --> 00:42:35,077
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
759
00:42:35,743 --> 00:42:38,660
Balance, nutrition,
energies, everything!
760
00:42:39,618 --> 00:42:41,118
The two of us are so connected.
761
00:42:47,077 --> 00:42:48,785
- Done?
- Meditation.
762
00:42:48,952 --> 00:42:49,702
Great!
763
00:42:49,868 --> 00:42:50,868
No talking!
764
00:42:56,827 --> 00:42:58,077
It's a fine coin.
765
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:02,202
That's you?
766
00:43:02,743 --> 00:43:05,035
Yes.
A gift from my mother.
767
00:43:06,243 --> 00:43:07,243
That's real love.
768
00:43:10,702 --> 00:43:11,952
When I received it,
769
00:43:12,868 --> 00:43:13,868
I didn't smile.
770
00:43:14,910 --> 00:43:16,410
Don't worry, Princess.
771
00:43:16,868 --> 00:43:18,577
I'll rescue your mother.
772
00:43:19,535 --> 00:43:20,535
I'm here for you.
773
00:43:21,743 --> 00:43:23,285
Quick correction, sorry.
774
00:43:23,452 --> 00:43:24,827
We are here for you.
775
00:43:24,993 --> 00:43:28,493
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
776
00:43:29,535 --> 00:43:30,827
Excuse me.
777
00:43:31,202 --> 00:43:32,243
Princess...
778
00:43:38,035 --> 00:43:39,118
What are you doing?
779
00:43:39,285 --> 00:43:40,910
That was 2 balls!
780
00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:42,743
Put 1 back. That was 2 balls!
781
00:43:42,910 --> 00:43:45,410
Put 1 back.
Don't screw me on the balls.
782
00:43:45,577 --> 00:43:47,077
It's extra jailtime for me.
783
00:43:48,618 --> 00:43:50,743
By the way, did you think over...
784
00:43:52,118 --> 00:43:53,118
my offer?
785
00:43:55,952 --> 00:43:57,660
Playing hard to get.
786
00:43:58,243 --> 00:44:00,785
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
787
00:44:00,952 --> 00:44:02,577
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
788
00:44:02,743 --> 00:44:04,410
If we get out one day,
789
00:44:04,785 --> 00:44:07,577
would you like to keep trading in China?
790
00:44:08,327 --> 00:44:09,785
- Sure.
- So shut up.
791
00:44:11,702 --> 00:44:13,868
They put us together to torture me.
792
00:44:14,577 --> 00:44:15,785
Let's not exaggerate.
793
00:44:17,035 --> 00:44:18,368
Perhaps it's...
794
00:44:19,118 --> 00:44:20,827
destiny bringing us together.
795
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,868
Maktub, as they say back home.
796
00:44:24,202 --> 00:44:26,535
You're very beautiful in a temper.
797
00:44:45,452 --> 00:44:46,243
Gents!
798
00:44:46,410 --> 00:44:49,077
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
799
00:44:49,452 --> 00:44:51,577
Who are the predators here?
800
00:44:51,743 --> 00:44:53,327
- We are!
- Bang on!
801
00:44:54,952 --> 00:44:57,118
Ship ahoy!
802
00:44:58,285 --> 00:44:59,327
Thanks, lookout!
803
00:44:59,493 --> 00:45:00,702
Just doing my job!
804
00:45:01,118 --> 00:45:03,243
No lavish ship will escape us.
805
00:45:03,410 --> 00:45:04,743
We sleep tonight in silk!
806
00:45:20,035 --> 00:45:20,785
The Gauls?
807
00:45:20,952 --> 00:45:23,202
It's the Gauls!
808
00:45:25,952 --> 00:45:27,118
Peek-a-boo!
809
00:45:27,618 --> 00:45:28,618
Hi, guys!
810
00:45:33,368 --> 00:45:34,452
Not the Gauls!
811
00:45:34,618 --> 00:45:35,618
Why us?
812
00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:38,243
There are other ships.
813
00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:41,577
Morning,
could you pretend not to see us?
814
00:45:41,743 --> 00:45:43,160
But we have seen you.
815
00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:44,660
That's fair.
816
00:45:45,702 --> 00:45:46,702
Prepare our defences!
817
00:45:46,868 --> 00:45:47,868
Let's go!
818
00:45:52,368 --> 00:45:54,285
Freshly painted too!
819
00:45:54,827 --> 00:45:56,160
Watch out now!
820
00:46:00,910 --> 00:46:02,577
Don't think I enjoy it.
821
00:46:03,910 --> 00:46:04,910
No, wait.
822
00:46:05,952 --> 00:46:07,368
Watch some Chinese fighting.
823
00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:26,993
What now, skipper?
824
00:46:28,493 --> 00:46:29,618
I'm not feeling it.
825
00:46:29,785 --> 00:46:31,577
Let's go anyway. Attack!
826
00:46:35,452 --> 00:46:36,618
No, go back!
827
00:46:36,785 --> 00:46:38,243
Michel, go on!
828
00:46:52,660 --> 00:46:54,035
That's gotta hurt.
829
00:47:02,410 --> 00:47:03,618
That's too many feet!
830
00:47:05,077 --> 00:47:06,327
Let me through.
831
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,285
Sorry, skipper.
832
00:47:11,452 --> 00:47:12,577
Where you going?
833
00:47:12,743 --> 00:47:14,285
Going out like a prince.
834
00:47:15,910 --> 00:47:17,118
Behind you!
835
00:47:21,618 --> 00:47:23,327
Cool it, crazywoman!
836
00:48:03,827 --> 00:48:04,827
Comrades,
837
00:48:05,202 --> 00:48:07,285
official reason for us sinking,
838
00:48:07,452 --> 00:48:09,493
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
839
00:48:19,452 --> 00:48:20,452
May I?
840
00:48:21,035 --> 00:48:22,035
Yes.
841
00:48:25,868 --> 00:48:26,868
Beautiful.
842
00:48:28,410 --> 00:48:29,702
I wanted to say,
843
00:48:30,368 --> 00:48:31,868
you fight fabulously.
844
00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:33,785
Thank you.
845
00:48:34,952 --> 00:48:37,243
How come you never use the potion?
846
00:48:37,410 --> 00:48:38,577
I'm not allowed to.
847
00:48:40,535 --> 00:48:43,285
Dangerous, apparently.
One shot too many.
848
00:48:45,952 --> 00:48:49,035
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
849
00:49:38,535 --> 00:49:39,535
Obelix?
850
00:49:41,868 --> 00:49:42,868
Mummy!
851
00:49:48,327 --> 00:49:50,035
The feeling is extraordinary.
852
00:49:50,368 --> 00:49:52,743
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
853
00:49:52,910 --> 00:49:54,952
falling in love, so I hear.
854
00:50:21,327 --> 00:50:24,077
Having found their way again at last,
855
00:50:24,243 --> 00:50:26,410
Caesar and his powerful army
856
00:50:26,577 --> 00:50:29,743
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
857
00:50:29,910 --> 00:50:31,493
the Mongolian steppes,
858
00:50:31,660 --> 00:50:34,160
and finally reach the gates of China,
859
00:50:34,327 --> 00:50:36,493
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
860
00:50:36,660 --> 00:50:38,618
is perfecting his dastardly plan
861
00:50:38,785 --> 00:50:40,827
to conquer all six kingdoms.
862
00:50:47,743 --> 00:50:48,743
Ave!
863
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:50,202
This is the war?
864
00:50:50,368 --> 00:50:51,368
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
865
00:50:51,535 --> 00:50:52,993
allow me to introduce...
866
00:50:53,535 --> 00:50:57,077
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
867
00:50:57,243 --> 00:50:58,702
and everything will be fine.
868
00:50:59,285 --> 00:51:02,202
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
869
00:51:02,368 --> 00:51:05,827
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
870
00:51:07,868 --> 00:51:09,160
Aren't you overthinking it?
871
00:51:09,327 --> 00:51:11,368
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
872
00:51:11,743 --> 00:51:13,368
the greatest Chinese strategist,
873
00:51:13,535 --> 00:51:14,993
who wrote The Art of War.
874
00:51:15,743 --> 00:51:16,910
The Fart is Raw?
875
00:51:18,577 --> 00:51:22,535
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
876
00:51:23,202 --> 00:51:23,952
All right...
877
00:51:24,118 --> 00:51:25,958
- If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
878
00:51:25,993 --> 00:51:26,993
Exactly!
879
00:51:28,285 --> 00:51:29,368
He's hard work.
880
00:51:29,535 --> 00:51:30,535
A maniac.
881
00:51:30,702 --> 00:51:33,827
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
882
00:51:34,535 --> 00:51:37,160
I had no idea.
I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
883
00:51:41,452 --> 00:51:43,035
Biopix, new chapter.
884
00:51:43,202 --> 00:51:45,743
After Caesar the Seducer,
885
00:51:46,410 --> 00:51:47,743
Caesar the Strategist.
886
00:51:47,910 --> 00:51:50,410
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
887
00:51:50,577 --> 00:51:52,118
- Helmet!
- Hoofus!
888
00:52:03,785 --> 00:52:04,785
Sword!
889
00:52:08,368 --> 00:52:09,202
What on earth?
890
00:52:09,368 --> 00:52:11,577
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
891
00:52:13,035 --> 00:52:14,743
Any news of Antivirus?
892
00:52:14,910 --> 00:52:16,910
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
893
00:52:17,077 --> 00:52:18,160
All right, let's go!
894
00:52:23,285 --> 00:52:24,285
All together!
895
00:52:28,118 --> 00:52:30,202
- Goose bumps.
- Same here.
896
00:53:49,827 --> 00:53:51,035
Antivirus, I love you!
897
00:54:04,202 --> 00:54:06,952
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
898
00:54:07,368 --> 00:54:09,160
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
899
00:54:09,327 --> 00:54:10,910
You wanted Antivirus,
900
00:54:11,327 --> 00:54:13,118
I gave you Antivirus.
901
00:54:13,285 --> 00:54:16,243
Now go back to your chariot races.
902
00:54:18,702 --> 00:54:20,952
Why talk when you can fly.
903
00:54:45,535 --> 00:54:47,160
A walk in the park!
904
00:54:49,660 --> 00:54:50,952
In a few days,
905
00:54:51,118 --> 00:54:52,785
I shall be master of China.
906
00:54:53,868 --> 00:54:57,993
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
907
00:54:58,618 --> 00:55:00,868
Veni, vidi, vici.
908
00:55:01,910 --> 00:55:04,118
Caesar, you spoil me.
909
00:55:04,285 --> 00:55:06,077
I've got it word for word.
910
00:55:06,243 --> 00:55:08,660
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
911
00:55:08,827 --> 00:55:10,577
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
912
00:55:11,743 --> 00:55:13,493
And Antivirus? Not here?
913
00:55:13,868 --> 00:55:14,868
He's sleeping.
914
00:55:15,035 --> 00:55:16,035
Sleeping?
915
00:55:16,118 --> 00:55:17,118
I'm here, Caesar.
916
00:55:17,202 --> 00:55:19,410
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
917
00:55:21,202 --> 00:55:23,702
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
918
00:55:23,868 --> 00:55:24,868
The trickiest.
919
00:55:26,118 --> 00:55:27,993
Our victories echo around the land.
920
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:29,868
And the Ku Koos never give up.
921
00:55:30,035 --> 00:55:32,827
Fine. Let's see
who's the biggest Ku Koo.
922
00:55:34,910 --> 00:55:37,827
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
923
00:55:38,618 --> 00:55:41,368
His son and heir,
Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
924
00:55:41,535 --> 00:55:44,285
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
925
00:55:44,452 --> 00:55:46,118
The man in the bamboo mask.
926
00:55:46,618 --> 00:55:47,452
A death
927
00:55:47,618 --> 00:55:51,077
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
928
00:55:52,243 --> 00:55:53,452
By the way...
929
00:55:54,743 --> 00:55:56,285
you seem a bit cuckoo.
930
00:55:56,952 --> 00:55:59,285
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
931
00:55:59,452 --> 00:56:00,452
I mean...
932
00:56:03,368 --> 00:56:04,785
you're totally cuckoo, right?
933
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:15,910
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
934
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:17,952
What do you stand to gain,
935
00:56:18,118 --> 00:56:20,118
Deng Tsin Quin?
936
00:56:21,410 --> 00:56:23,577
You plan to give me a Caesarian
937
00:56:23,743 --> 00:56:25,660
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
938
00:56:26,077 --> 00:56:27,077
No.
939
00:56:27,535 --> 00:56:28,785
I'd never do that.
940
00:56:29,285 --> 00:56:30,285
Really?
941
00:56:31,743 --> 00:56:32,743
I would.
942
00:56:33,493 --> 00:56:34,868
At the drop of a hat!
943
00:56:36,410 --> 00:56:37,410
Good one!
944
00:56:39,410 --> 00:56:41,118
Tell me, O Caesar,
945
00:56:41,827 --> 00:56:43,785
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
946
00:56:43,952 --> 00:56:45,493
is highly respected in China?
947
00:56:46,285 --> 00:56:47,285
That's true.
948
00:56:47,368 --> 00:56:50,577
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
949
00:56:51,202 --> 00:56:53,327
What's she like in real life? Cool?
950
00:57:08,368 --> 00:57:09,910
Home at last.
951
00:57:11,285 --> 00:57:14,160
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
952
00:57:15,660 --> 00:57:17,743
Don't bother. They have no idea.
953
00:57:18,202 --> 00:57:19,785
I smell them, though.
954
00:57:20,618 --> 00:57:21,660
What sweet scent!
955
00:57:22,202 --> 00:57:23,202
Titanix,
956
00:57:23,368 --> 00:57:25,368
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
957
00:57:25,535 --> 00:57:28,118
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
958
00:57:28,285 --> 00:57:29,827
to prove the earth's round.
959
00:58:00,368 --> 00:58:02,410
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
960
00:58:07,993 --> 00:58:10,618
Miss Tik, how will we find
your master here?
961
00:58:10,785 --> 00:58:12,077
He will find us.
962
00:58:30,202 --> 00:58:32,285
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
963
00:58:33,452 --> 00:58:34,910
The bald guy's a friend?
964
00:58:36,368 --> 00:58:38,410
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
965
00:58:40,327 --> 00:58:44,035
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
966
00:58:45,202 --> 00:58:47,493
Why all the mystery?
967
00:58:47,660 --> 00:58:49,035
I've lost my appetite now!
968
00:58:51,868 --> 00:58:53,452
He's never like that.
969
00:58:54,910 --> 00:58:58,868
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
970
00:58:59,327 --> 00:59:00,910
Can we talk honestly?
971
00:59:01,535 --> 00:59:04,952
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
972
00:59:06,202 --> 00:59:08,452
But it's really tense between you two.
973
00:59:08,702 --> 00:59:10,410
The tension's getting to us all.
974
00:59:11,118 --> 00:59:12,410
- It is?
- Yes.
975
00:59:13,327 --> 00:59:15,285
I have an idea for you both
976
00:59:15,785 --> 00:59:18,827
and honestly
it will do you the world of good.
977
00:59:21,493 --> 00:59:23,410
Obelix, we need to talk.
978
00:59:23,952 --> 00:59:25,077
I'm all ears.
979
00:59:25,243 --> 00:59:28,993
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
980
00:59:30,952 --> 00:59:31,952
For sure.
981
00:59:33,618 --> 00:59:35,827
I think it would be simpler...
982
00:59:36,535 --> 00:59:38,702
if she moved to our village.
983
00:59:38,868 --> 00:59:39,868
All right.
984
00:59:40,785 --> 00:59:42,285
You and I are...
985
00:59:42,702 --> 00:59:44,535
We've lived together for ages.
986
00:59:45,077 --> 00:59:47,077
We never said it was for life.
987
00:59:48,285 --> 00:59:49,702
Seeing as, originally,
988
00:59:50,035 --> 00:59:51,868
it was my parents' hut...
989
00:59:55,910 --> 00:59:57,660
You'd like me to move out?
990
00:59:58,660 --> 00:59:59,660
Yes.
991
01:00:03,827 --> 01:00:05,285
What a relief!
992
01:00:05,452 --> 01:00:08,743
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
993
01:00:09,368 --> 01:00:10,368
Really?
994
01:00:12,868 --> 01:00:14,160
I'm in love, too.
995
01:00:15,702 --> 01:00:16,743
You're in love?
996
01:00:17,577 --> 01:00:19,202
Beautiful Miss Tik.
997
01:00:22,535 --> 01:00:23,535
Miss Tik?
998
01:00:24,285 --> 01:00:25,618
Our Miss Tik?
999
01:00:26,077 --> 01:00:27,077
Seriously?
1000
01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:30,993
What's so funny?
1001
01:00:31,910 --> 01:00:33,077
I'm just surprised.
1002
01:00:33,243 --> 01:00:34,410
By me falling in love?
1003
01:00:35,118 --> 01:00:36,285
Come on, Oby...
1004
01:00:36,452 --> 01:00:37,660
Don't Oby me.
1005
01:00:37,910 --> 01:00:38,910
No more Oby!
1006
01:00:40,577 --> 01:00:41,577
What's funny?
1007
01:00:41,660 --> 01:00:43,077
I've no right to love?
1008
01:00:43,577 --> 01:00:44,785
No rights at all!
1009
01:00:44,952 --> 01:00:46,743
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1010
01:00:46,910 --> 01:00:47,910
It is not!
1011
01:00:48,035 --> 01:00:49,035
It is!
1012
01:00:50,410 --> 01:00:51,868
No magic potion for Obelix.
1013
01:00:52,035 --> 01:00:53,202
No love for Obelix!
1014
01:00:53,368 --> 01:00:56,327
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1015
01:00:57,118 --> 01:00:58,118
Poor Obelix!
1016
01:00:58,202 --> 01:00:59,410
Now I'm not allowed
1017
01:00:59,577 --> 01:01:02,827
to roast my wild boar
in my own hut!
1018
01:01:03,410 --> 01:01:06,202
Sorry, not my hut.
Asterix's parents' hut!
1019
01:01:06,368 --> 01:01:07,077
Correct!
1020
01:01:07,243 --> 01:01:09,202
And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1021
01:01:09,368 --> 01:01:11,660
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1022
01:01:11,827 --> 01:01:12,910
For your sake!
1023
01:01:13,243 --> 01:01:14,243
Your health!
1024
01:01:14,327 --> 01:01:16,327
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1025
01:01:16,493 --> 01:01:17,743
Because you're fat!
1026
01:01:20,202 --> 01:01:22,410
I am curvaceous!
1027
01:01:23,243 --> 01:01:24,410
But at least I'm...
1028
01:01:24,868 --> 01:01:26,035
strong.
1029
01:01:26,202 --> 01:01:28,077
There we go. Thank you!
1030
01:01:28,243 --> 01:01:31,035
You think it's easy
always being weaker?
1031
01:01:31,452 --> 01:01:32,785
Dependent on a flask!
1032
01:01:32,952 --> 01:01:34,202
Serves you right!
1033
01:01:34,618 --> 01:01:35,827
There, I said it!
1034
01:01:37,660 --> 01:01:40,202
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1035
01:01:41,910 --> 01:01:43,952
Speak freely.
1036
01:01:56,285 --> 01:01:57,785
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1037
01:01:58,202 --> 01:01:59,202
What now?
1038
01:01:59,368 --> 01:02:01,535
We protect the princess's identity.
1039
01:02:02,660 --> 01:02:04,160
What brings Caesar to China?
1040
01:02:04,493 --> 01:02:07,285
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1041
01:02:09,702 --> 01:02:11,202
News flash!
1042
01:02:11,952 --> 01:02:13,160
People of China,
1043
01:02:13,493 --> 01:02:15,952
Prince Deng Tsin Quin
and Julius Caesar
1044
01:02:16,118 --> 01:02:18,493
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1045
01:02:18,660 --> 01:02:19,910
of the ex-Empress.
1046
01:02:20,993 --> 01:02:24,493
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1047
01:02:25,702 --> 01:02:29,577
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1048
01:02:29,743 --> 01:02:30,743
Nobody told me.
1049
01:02:30,785 --> 01:02:32,493
By papyrus?
You're not in the group?
1050
01:02:32,660 --> 01:02:34,410
I never am!
1051
01:02:34,577 --> 01:02:36,410
I am Princess Sa See!
1052
01:02:36,577 --> 01:02:38,743
Nobody harms
the daughter of the heavens,
1053
01:02:38,910 --> 01:02:41,327
her majesty the Empress, my mother!
1054
01:02:41,493 --> 01:02:42,493
Arrest her!
1055
01:02:49,577 --> 01:02:50,577
Hey, doggie.
1056
01:02:51,285 --> 01:02:52,077
Bring it on.
1057
01:02:52,243 --> 01:02:55,452
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1058
01:02:55,618 --> 01:02:57,910
must prepare for a world of pain.
1059
01:02:59,618 --> 01:03:00,618
I said that?
1060
01:03:07,452 --> 01:03:09,618
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1061
01:03:09,785 --> 01:03:12,410
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1062
01:03:13,660 --> 01:03:14,868
You're kidding me.
1063
01:03:17,327 --> 01:03:18,452
You good?
1064
01:03:22,410 --> 01:03:23,410
We can start?
1065
01:03:23,827 --> 01:03:24,660
Toilet break.
1066
01:03:24,827 --> 01:03:25,577
Sure.
1067
01:03:25,743 --> 01:03:26,868
Not buying it.
1068
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:58,160
Wring!
1069
01:04:21,535 --> 01:04:22,535
How about that.
1070
01:04:28,202 --> 01:04:30,868
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1071
01:04:31,035 --> 01:04:32,327
For what we get paid...
1072
01:04:34,118 --> 01:04:35,452
Act like we never met?
1073
01:04:35,618 --> 01:04:36,618
We never met.
1074
01:05:31,910 --> 01:05:34,118
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1075
01:05:34,285 --> 01:05:35,285
Yeah, I saw that.
1076
01:05:35,452 --> 01:05:37,327
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1077
01:05:38,243 --> 01:05:39,452
What's this?
1078
01:05:42,660 --> 01:05:43,702
Insane! So tight.
1079
01:05:43,868 --> 01:05:45,577
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1080
01:05:45,743 --> 01:05:47,827
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1081
01:05:49,535 --> 01:05:50,618
A problem?
1082
01:05:50,785 --> 01:05:51,785
Maybe.
1083
01:05:52,702 --> 01:05:53,743
Potion's worn off?
1084
01:05:54,202 --> 01:05:55,868
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1085
01:05:57,202 --> 01:05:58,202
We'll talk later.
1086
01:05:58,993 --> 01:06:00,118
Ready when you are.
1087
01:06:19,118 --> 01:06:20,118
Halt!
1088
01:06:25,077 --> 01:06:26,827
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1089
01:06:32,202 --> 01:06:33,827
SOAPS by CLEO
1090
01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:38,077
Who whistled?
1091
01:06:49,077 --> 01:06:50,160
I go off to war.
1092
01:06:51,118 --> 01:06:53,077
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1093
01:06:53,660 --> 01:06:55,202
No messages, no news.
1094
01:06:55,535 --> 01:06:57,118
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1095
01:06:57,493 --> 01:06:59,160
Time to snap out of it!
1096
01:06:59,410 --> 01:07:01,910
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1097
01:07:02,077 --> 01:07:03,535
We've gone a bit flat.
1098
01:07:03,702 --> 01:07:04,702
He's right.
1099
01:07:04,868 --> 01:07:06,077
You messaged her?
1100
01:07:06,243 --> 01:07:09,035
No, we said no messages.
We play it cool.
1101
01:07:09,202 --> 01:07:11,993
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1102
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,118
Butt out, cupcake!
1103
01:07:14,577 --> 01:07:16,077
Come again, sentry?
1104
01:07:16,368 --> 01:07:19,368
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1105
01:07:19,535 --> 01:07:22,618
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1106
01:07:22,785 --> 01:07:24,368
Shut your trap!
1107
01:07:27,910 --> 01:07:29,702
Who wears the toga at home?
1108
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:31,160
Who's the boss?
1109
01:07:31,702 --> 01:07:32,702
I am.
1110
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:34,410
Anyone hear that?
1111
01:07:34,868 --> 01:07:36,368
Who's the boss?
1112
01:07:37,785 --> 01:07:39,202
- I am.
- There you are!
1113
01:07:39,368 --> 01:07:41,118
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1114
01:07:41,285 --> 01:07:42,785
Our champion! Number one!
1115
01:07:44,285 --> 01:07:45,368
The only message is,
1116
01:07:45,535 --> 01:07:48,535
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!
1117
01:07:48,702 --> 01:07:51,410
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1118
01:07:55,327 --> 01:07:56,660
You're right. Scribe!
1119
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,202
Better!
1120
01:08:09,618 --> 01:08:13,035
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1121
01:08:14,077 --> 01:08:17,077
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1122
01:08:18,535 --> 01:08:19,535
Ave, me!
1123
01:08:19,868 --> 01:08:23,535
There, that's big-time Caesar.
Masterful!
1124
01:08:23,702 --> 01:08:25,327
The Queen of Egypt?
1125
01:08:25,493 --> 01:08:27,410
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1126
01:08:28,493 --> 01:08:30,160
They're not singing anymore...
1127
01:08:30,327 --> 01:08:32,952
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1128
01:08:33,368 --> 01:08:34,993
- Send.
- Yes!
1129
01:08:39,035 --> 01:08:40,243
Pigeon!
1130
01:08:43,618 --> 01:08:44,743
A bunny!
1131
01:08:45,827 --> 01:08:47,243
It's a bunny.
1132
01:08:47,410 --> 01:08:48,410
Scary!
1133
01:08:48,743 --> 01:08:49,993
A raccoon!
1134
01:08:54,077 --> 01:08:55,077
A goat!
1135
01:08:55,827 --> 01:08:56,993
A billy goat.
1136
01:09:03,077 --> 01:09:04,785
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1137
01:09:13,952 --> 01:09:15,035
From Cleopatra.
1138
01:09:15,202 --> 01:09:16,202
Already?
1139
01:09:17,660 --> 01:09:18,660
Read it.
1140
01:09:30,618 --> 01:09:31,910
Don't understand a word.
1141
01:09:32,077 --> 01:09:33,077
I don't understand.
1142
01:09:35,035 --> 01:09:36,660
"I wanted to apologise.
1143
01:09:37,618 --> 01:09:38,785
"For my behaviour.
1144
01:09:38,952 --> 01:09:40,160
"I went too far."
1145
01:09:40,327 --> 01:09:41,327
For sure.
1146
01:09:42,493 --> 01:09:46,368
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1147
01:09:46,993 --> 01:09:49,618
"Waiting for you in Rome.
Come back soon.
1148
01:09:50,818 --> 01:09:52,110
"Your loving Cleo."
1149
01:09:53,818 --> 01:09:55,193
Stop the pigeon!
1150
01:09:55,693 --> 01:09:56,735
Cancel the pigeon!
1151
01:09:56,902 --> 01:09:58,527
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1152
01:09:58,693 --> 01:09:59,943
Sent is sent.
1153
01:10:00,318 --> 01:10:01,318
I beat him?
1154
01:10:01,402 --> 01:10:02,735
Everybody out!
1155
01:10:07,860 --> 01:10:09,027
I said everybody.
1156
01:11:26,985 --> 01:11:28,818
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1157
01:11:28,985 --> 01:11:30,027
- Hands off.
- What?
1158
01:11:30,193 --> 01:11:31,485
They're offerings.
1159
01:11:32,152 --> 01:11:33,527
Sorry. I didn't...
1160
01:11:41,485 --> 01:11:42,485
Hold on.
1161
01:11:42,568 --> 01:11:44,485
Move along. Have a good evening.
1162
01:11:45,027 --> 01:11:46,068
Good luck.
1163
01:11:46,818 --> 01:11:47,943
Just a beggar.
1164
01:11:53,152 --> 01:11:54,152
Master Sill Lee.
1165
01:11:55,485 --> 01:11:56,485
Sorry.
1166
01:11:57,443 --> 01:12:00,110
Profuse apologies, Mr Sill Lee.
I thought...
1167
01:12:00,527 --> 01:12:03,818
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1168
01:12:03,985 --> 01:12:05,693
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1169
01:12:06,943 --> 01:12:09,443
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1170
01:12:09,610 --> 01:12:10,777
It's beyond me.
1171
01:12:10,943 --> 01:12:13,985
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1172
01:12:14,152 --> 01:12:16,610
Try to take back your coin,
1173
01:12:17,068 --> 01:12:18,485
little grasshopper.
1174
01:12:22,943 --> 01:12:24,652
It's too easy. You're blind.
1175
01:12:24,818 --> 01:12:28,068
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1176
01:12:30,068 --> 01:12:31,693
You saw that coming?
1177
01:12:33,443 --> 01:12:34,943
There we are!
1178
01:12:35,527 --> 01:12:36,735
It was his game.
1179
01:12:36,902 --> 01:12:37,902
Leave him.
1180
01:12:38,068 --> 01:12:39,110
Little grasshopper!
1181
01:12:39,568 --> 01:12:41,277
Sir, over here.
1182
01:12:42,485 --> 01:12:44,277
You are as swift as a cobra.
1183
01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:45,443
Yup, Sill Lee.
1184
01:12:45,527 --> 01:12:47,943
Can we move on to important matters?
1185
01:12:54,152 --> 01:12:55,360
By Toutatis!
1186
01:12:55,777 --> 01:12:59,568
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1187
01:13:00,068 --> 01:13:01,735
Do not touch.
1188
01:13:02,693 --> 01:13:03,693
Hard to resist.
1189
01:13:04,110 --> 01:13:05,193
I see
1190
01:13:05,402 --> 01:13:07,318
an old abandoned temple.
1191
01:13:07,777 --> 01:13:09,360
The temple in Xuan.
1192
01:13:09,818 --> 01:13:13,402
Her majesty the Empress
is held prisoner.
1193
01:13:15,235 --> 01:13:16,610
After releasing her,
1194
01:13:16,777 --> 01:13:19,693
you must go with all speed
1195
01:13:19,860 --> 01:13:21,443
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1196
01:13:21,610 --> 01:13:25,777
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1197
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:28,443
You will encounter
1198
01:13:29,068 --> 01:13:30,152
the hideous...
1199
01:13:30,610 --> 01:13:32,152
the unsightly...
1200
01:13:32,318 --> 01:13:36,277
the monstrous crown prince,
1201
01:13:36,443 --> 01:13:37,652
Prince of Ku Koo,
1202
01:13:37,818 --> 01:13:40,985
the man in the bamboo mask.
1203
01:13:43,027 --> 01:13:44,735
Don't worry, it's fake.
1204
01:13:45,193 --> 01:13:46,443
Good luck!
1205
01:13:47,235 --> 01:13:49,652
We must go our separate ways.
1206
01:13:50,235 --> 01:13:51,568
Grand master,
1207
01:13:52,068 --> 01:13:53,735
are you done with the ball?
1208
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:56,360
Yes.
1209
01:14:00,610 --> 01:14:01,902
Holy cow!
1210
01:14:04,777 --> 01:14:06,652
There you are. You broke it.
1211
01:14:06,818 --> 01:14:08,402
He said do not touch.
1212
01:14:10,443 --> 01:14:11,485
He's right.
1213
01:14:12,402 --> 01:14:14,235
I said do not touch!
1214
01:14:20,277 --> 01:14:21,735
Why'd you touch it?
1215
01:14:27,318 --> 01:14:29,860
Seen Princess Sa See?
With two warriors...
1216
01:14:34,027 --> 01:14:35,360
Princess Sa See?
1217
01:14:35,527 --> 01:14:38,777
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1218
01:14:39,360 --> 01:14:40,360
And a dog.
1219
01:14:55,652 --> 01:14:58,110
You're waiting for an ale?
Bring them in!
1220
01:14:58,943 --> 01:15:00,568
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1221
01:15:01,068 --> 01:15:02,318
- Asterix!
- What?
1222
01:15:02,485 --> 01:15:03,860
Why are we running?
1223
01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:06,027
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1224
01:15:06,193 --> 01:15:08,068
No more potion with the Princess.
1225
01:15:08,235 --> 01:15:10,152
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1226
01:15:10,652 --> 01:15:12,693
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1227
01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:13,943
Come on!
1228
01:15:15,735 --> 01:15:16,735
Fast!
1229
01:15:17,485 --> 01:15:18,527
Faster!
1230
01:15:23,068 --> 01:15:24,443
He does this on purpose.
1231
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:18,443
All right.
1232
01:16:24,152 --> 01:16:26,902
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1233
01:16:27,943 --> 01:16:29,152
So, our last night...
1234
01:16:30,068 --> 01:16:31,360
I was thinking...
1235
01:16:32,068 --> 01:16:34,068
maybe as a memento...
1236
01:16:34,235 --> 01:16:35,235
Majesty!
1237
01:16:36,777 --> 01:16:37,860
Gave me a fright!
1238
01:16:38,027 --> 01:16:39,443
We'll get you out.
1239
01:16:39,902 --> 01:16:40,902
Who's that?
1240
01:16:42,818 --> 01:16:44,068
Stand back.
1241
01:16:55,110 --> 01:16:56,110
All good?
1242
01:17:04,193 --> 01:17:05,193
Sorry.
1243
01:17:17,860 --> 01:17:18,860
Rise.
1244
01:17:20,443 --> 01:17:21,235
Let's go.
1245
01:17:21,402 --> 01:17:22,735
Jump. We'll catch you.
1246
01:17:22,902 --> 01:17:24,527
What? Jump?
1247
01:17:24,693 --> 01:17:26,193
I can't leave right now!
1248
01:17:26,485 --> 01:17:28,527
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1249
01:17:29,152 --> 01:17:30,818
In two balls, the guard caves.
1250
01:17:30,985 --> 01:17:33,610
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1251
01:17:34,360 --> 01:17:35,360
Are you sure?
1252
01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:37,027
Yes.
1253
01:17:37,985 --> 01:17:39,027
As you wish.
1254
01:17:42,443 --> 01:17:43,443
Take care.
1255
01:17:44,402 --> 01:17:45,610
And keep your head.
1256
01:17:47,902 --> 01:17:49,318
You're afraid for me.
1257
01:17:50,610 --> 01:17:54,527
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1258
01:18:02,443 --> 01:18:04,068
She's so impressive!
1259
01:18:05,527 --> 01:18:06,610
Thank you.
1260
01:18:08,068 --> 01:18:09,068
Mother!
1261
01:18:09,943 --> 01:18:11,568
What joy to see you again.
1262
01:18:21,777 --> 01:18:22,402
Alert!
1263
01:18:22,568 --> 01:18:23,193
Run!
1264
01:18:23,360 --> 01:18:24,360
They've escaped!
1265
01:18:35,193 --> 01:18:36,652
Which way now? Which way?
1266
01:18:38,360 --> 01:18:39,360
Wait.
1267
01:18:40,277 --> 01:18:42,235
Good. We lost them.
1268
01:18:42,402 --> 01:18:44,610
Friends from Gaul.
Thanks for your help.
1269
01:18:44,777 --> 01:18:46,568
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1270
01:18:47,443 --> 01:18:49,527
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1271
01:18:51,277 --> 01:18:52,485
Bankruptis.
1272
01:18:52,652 --> 01:18:55,110
We already met at the market.
1273
01:18:55,818 --> 01:18:56,860
That's right.
1274
01:18:57,652 --> 01:18:59,318
Life's full of surprises.
1275
01:19:01,735 --> 01:19:03,860
Attention issues for the Empress.
1276
01:19:04,693 --> 01:19:07,818
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1277
01:19:07,985 --> 01:19:11,318
Meanwhile
I'll rally our army and followers.
1278
01:19:12,193 --> 01:19:13,360
Miss Tik, come with me.
1279
01:19:14,068 --> 01:19:15,735
I shall honour you, Mother.
1280
01:19:15,902 --> 01:19:16,943
You'll be proud of me.
1281
01:19:18,860 --> 01:19:20,527
I'm already proud of you.
1282
01:19:22,110 --> 01:19:23,360
Let's go, Miss Tik.
1283
01:19:40,902 --> 01:19:42,235
This will end badly.
1284
01:20:05,152 --> 01:20:07,110
Miss Tik has fallen for Obelix.
1285
01:20:09,152 --> 01:20:10,152
Obelix, too.
1286
01:20:12,777 --> 01:20:15,777
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1287
01:20:16,860 --> 01:20:17,902
So let's go.
1288
01:20:19,360 --> 01:20:20,902
Obelix, come on.
1289
01:20:29,318 --> 01:20:31,943
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1290
01:20:33,027 --> 01:20:35,193
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1291
01:20:39,860 --> 01:20:41,943
Got a kick but not all bad.
1292
01:20:42,818 --> 01:20:43,860
It's relaxing.
1293
01:20:44,027 --> 01:20:45,027
Rice wine.
1294
01:20:45,693 --> 01:20:48,985
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1295
01:20:51,402 --> 01:20:52,443
You see...
1296
01:20:52,610 --> 01:20:54,235
At times like this...
1297
01:20:57,610 --> 01:20:58,777
I miss her.
1298
01:20:59,485 --> 01:21:00,860
What's with the music?
1299
01:21:01,027 --> 01:21:01,860
A full band?
1300
01:21:02,027 --> 01:21:03,402
Four and a singer.
1301
01:21:03,860 --> 01:21:05,652
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1302
01:21:05,818 --> 01:21:06,902
It's practical.
1303
01:21:07,902 --> 01:21:10,027
I always have my favourite music.
1304
01:21:11,693 --> 01:21:12,693
Know it?
1305
01:21:12,818 --> 01:21:14,193
Sure, obviously.
1306
01:21:14,943 --> 01:21:17,193
Now that's what I call music.
1307
01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:20,527
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1308
01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:35,360
Amore!
1309
01:21:36,402 --> 01:21:37,777
What are you doing?
1310
01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,693
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1311
01:21:43,568 --> 01:21:44,402
Know what?
1312
01:21:44,568 --> 01:21:47,068
Your libation brought back the urge.
1313
01:21:49,735 --> 01:21:52,693
I shall become
the next Emperor of China.
1314
01:21:53,235 --> 01:21:54,235
Wow...
1315
01:21:54,318 --> 01:21:56,943
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1316
01:21:57,777 --> 01:22:00,527
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1317
01:22:17,943 --> 01:22:20,235
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1318
01:22:20,402 --> 01:22:21,610
Yes, next one.
1319
01:22:23,652 --> 01:22:25,735
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1320
01:22:25,902 --> 01:22:29,735
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1321
01:22:29,902 --> 01:22:31,735
the man in the bamboo mask.
1322
01:22:32,068 --> 01:22:33,152
Keep up.
1323
01:22:37,152 --> 01:22:38,318
I am To Fu.
1324
01:22:38,985 --> 01:22:42,068
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1325
01:22:42,568 --> 01:22:44,068
Can you prove
1326
01:22:44,777 --> 01:22:46,860
you really are Princess Sa See?
1327
01:22:48,068 --> 01:22:50,693
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1328
01:22:51,068 --> 01:22:54,402
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1329
01:22:55,693 --> 01:22:57,360
You could be a spy.
1330
01:22:57,985 --> 01:22:59,110
In the pay
1331
01:22:59,277 --> 01:23:00,693
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1332
01:23:03,277 --> 01:23:04,277
The coin!
1333
01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:13,485
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1334
01:23:15,527 --> 01:23:17,610
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1335
01:23:17,777 --> 01:23:19,402
We must be careful.
1336
01:23:20,193 --> 01:23:22,402
His Highness, the Prince...
1337
01:23:22,568 --> 01:23:23,568
of Ku Koo!
1338
01:23:35,943 --> 01:23:36,943
What the heck?
1339
01:23:37,777 --> 01:23:39,693
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1340
01:23:39,860 --> 01:23:40,985
In his house.
1341
01:24:03,443 --> 01:24:04,443
Princess Sa See,
1342
01:24:04,568 --> 01:24:07,027
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1343
01:24:07,193 --> 01:24:09,735
We support your mother, our Empress.
1344
01:24:11,485 --> 01:24:12,485
Thanks.
1345
01:24:13,110 --> 01:24:14,193
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1346
01:24:14,652 --> 01:24:17,068
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1347
01:24:17,860 --> 01:24:19,652
On the contrary, it suits you.
1348
01:24:21,318 --> 01:24:22,693
Nobody ever said that.
1349
01:24:22,860 --> 01:24:24,652
I never wanted to say it.
1350
01:24:40,110 --> 01:24:42,193
That's love at first look.
1351
01:24:42,360 --> 01:24:44,693
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1352
01:24:48,068 --> 01:24:49,443
Back to the friend zone.
1353
01:24:50,818 --> 01:24:51,860
Let's go.
1354
01:24:53,318 --> 01:24:55,027
We have a country to save.
1355
01:25:08,860 --> 01:25:11,318
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1356
01:25:11,485 --> 01:25:12,652
No way out.
1357
01:25:13,152 --> 01:25:15,402
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1358
01:25:19,110 --> 01:25:20,360
Here we go again.
1359
01:25:20,527 --> 01:25:21,693
Blah-blah time.
1360
01:25:33,527 --> 01:25:35,360
I am Princess Sa See.
1361
01:25:35,527 --> 01:25:37,777
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1362
01:25:39,902 --> 01:25:40,943
Sa See darling,
1363
01:25:41,110 --> 01:25:42,610
we can marry at last.
1364
01:25:42,777 --> 01:25:46,110
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1365
01:25:47,027 --> 01:25:49,818
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1366
01:25:49,985 --> 01:25:52,318
I have a question for you.
1367
01:25:53,568 --> 01:25:54,568
How many?
1368
01:25:55,152 --> 01:25:56,318
Ten thousand.
1369
01:25:56,485 --> 01:25:59,943
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1370
01:26:06,193 --> 01:26:09,277
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1371
01:26:09,443 --> 01:26:10,443
You're wonderful.
1372
01:26:10,568 --> 01:26:12,027
You miscounted, Princess.
1373
01:26:12,193 --> 01:26:13,693
Ten thousand plus two.
1374
01:26:13,860 --> 01:26:15,068
If you still need me.
1375
01:26:15,235 --> 01:26:16,318
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1376
01:26:16,485 --> 01:26:17,610
It's us!
1377
01:26:17,777 --> 01:26:18,777
The crazies!
1378
01:26:18,902 --> 01:26:19,735
Not plus two.
1379
01:26:19,902 --> 01:26:20,985
Plus three!
1380
01:26:21,777 --> 01:26:23,235
The man in the bamboo mask.
1381
01:26:25,193 --> 01:26:26,027
Gross!
1382
01:26:26,193 --> 01:26:27,902
Poor guy's blond!
1383
01:26:28,068 --> 01:26:29,068
It's not too bad.
1384
01:26:29,152 --> 01:26:30,610
Not plus three. Plus four!
1385
01:26:31,360 --> 01:26:32,485
I'm the man
1386
01:26:33,277 --> 01:26:34,360
with feather feet!
1387
01:26:34,527 --> 01:26:35,652
What is this?
1388
01:26:42,193 --> 01:26:44,568
Why talk when you can run?
1389
01:26:57,027 --> 01:26:59,193
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1390
01:26:59,443 --> 01:27:00,985
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1391
01:27:03,927 --> 01:27:04,968
Substitute!
1392
01:27:09,093 --> 01:27:10,552
Antivirus!
1393
01:27:47,427 --> 01:27:49,302
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1394
01:27:49,885 --> 01:27:50,927
Not enough for 4.
1395
01:27:51,260 --> 01:27:52,260
"Not enough for 4!"
1396
01:27:55,968 --> 01:27:57,260
The cheats!
1397
01:27:57,427 --> 01:27:58,427
Won't help them.
1398
01:28:00,052 --> 01:28:01,635
Charge!
1399
01:28:19,135 --> 01:28:20,135
Yes?
1400
01:28:20,677 --> 01:28:21,677
Of course.
1401
01:29:11,385 --> 01:29:12,385
Help me.
1402
01:29:12,885 --> 01:29:13,885
Pipe down.
1403
01:29:14,052 --> 01:29:15,260
You've got gall.
1404
01:29:15,593 --> 01:29:16,343
Gall...
1405
01:29:16,510 --> 01:29:17,510
Gaul!
1406
01:29:30,260 --> 01:29:31,635
Can I join in?
1407
01:29:32,135 --> 01:29:33,135
Yeah, sure.
1408
01:29:33,385 --> 01:29:34,385
Archers!
1409
01:29:35,135 --> 01:29:36,135
Prepare!
1410
01:29:36,635 --> 01:29:37,635
Draw!
1411
01:29:38,177 --> 01:29:39,177
Loose!
1412
01:29:40,635 --> 01:29:42,843
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1413
01:29:45,802 --> 01:29:46,802
Arrows!
1414
01:30:01,593 --> 01:30:02,802
You can't be serious.
1415
01:30:03,218 --> 01:30:04,260
Don't judge me.
1416
01:30:06,927 --> 01:30:07,927
I feel it.
1417
01:30:09,093 --> 01:30:10,552
I feel it rising.
1418
01:30:13,718 --> 01:30:14,843
It's insane!
1419
01:30:16,302 --> 01:30:17,302
That's it?
1420
01:30:21,093 --> 01:30:22,427
No way! It's a joke.
1421
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:33,552
I smell victory.
1422
01:30:35,302 --> 01:30:36,510
A particular scent?
1423
01:30:37,760 --> 01:30:39,843
Do readers care for such details?
1424
01:30:40,010 --> 01:30:41,260
It sets the scene.
1425
01:30:43,093 --> 01:30:44,718
The scent of laurels.
1426
01:30:45,135 --> 01:30:46,177
Excellent!
1427
01:31:09,927 --> 01:31:10,635
Thanks.
1428
01:31:10,802 --> 01:31:11,885
You're welcome.
1429
01:31:15,302 --> 01:31:17,135
We fell out but I can help out.
1430
01:31:17,802 --> 01:31:18,552
Sure.
1431
01:31:18,718 --> 01:31:20,218
I'm on your side.
1432
01:31:21,260 --> 01:31:22,260
Sure.
1433
01:31:23,635 --> 01:31:25,177
You'll always be my chum.
1434
01:31:28,343 --> 01:31:29,343
Sure.
1435
01:31:30,510 --> 01:31:31,802
Sorry, Obelix.
1436
01:31:56,677 --> 01:31:57,677
Stop!
1437
01:32:12,343 --> 01:32:13,593
Before I die...
1438
01:32:15,010 --> 01:32:16,718
I must tell you, Princess...
1439
01:32:42,843 --> 01:32:43,843
Look!
1440
01:32:45,385 --> 01:32:47,135
Just when all seems lost,
1441
01:32:47,677 --> 01:32:49,343
the Empress arrives,
1442
01:32:49,510 --> 01:32:52,218
followed by her army and entire people.
1443
01:32:52,552 --> 01:32:53,843
They are all there,
1444
01:32:54,010 --> 01:32:57,468
marching across the middle kingdom
1445
01:32:57,635 --> 01:32:59,677
to the scene of the final battle.
1446
01:33:17,052 --> 01:33:18,885
- What on earth is this?
- Not sure.
1447
01:33:19,052 --> 01:33:21,468
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1448
01:33:22,010 --> 01:33:23,343
Pine boxes maybe.
1449
01:33:32,343 --> 01:33:33,843
I am Empress of China.
1450
01:33:34,010 --> 01:33:36,468
I order you
to leave my empire forthwith.
1451
01:33:37,552 --> 01:33:38,677
Never!
1452
01:33:39,177 --> 01:33:41,260
She has a temper.
Reminds me of someone.
1453
01:33:43,260 --> 01:33:44,385
Your Majesty!
1454
01:33:45,260 --> 01:33:47,510
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1455
01:33:47,677 --> 01:33:50,260
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1456
01:33:50,635 --> 01:33:53,135
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1457
01:33:53,302 --> 01:33:55,593
my army will reduce you to dust.
1458
01:33:56,468 --> 01:33:57,635
What's that?
1459
01:33:58,177 --> 01:33:59,177
A local proverb?
1460
01:33:59,260 --> 01:34:01,885
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1461
01:34:07,593 --> 01:34:08,802
How many of you?
1462
01:34:08,968 --> 01:34:10,093
He's at it again.
1463
01:34:10,760 --> 01:34:11,760
One
1464
01:34:12,218 --> 01:34:13,218
million!
1465
01:34:16,093 --> 01:34:17,177
Game changer.
1466
01:34:18,927 --> 01:34:21,052
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1467
01:34:21,218 --> 01:34:23,385
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1468
01:34:24,177 --> 01:34:25,260
Don't desert us.
1469
01:34:25,427 --> 01:34:26,802
There's a million of them.
1470
01:34:27,593 --> 01:34:28,802
It's not my war.
1471
01:34:34,385 --> 01:34:35,677
I can't go like this.
1472
01:34:38,802 --> 01:34:39,802
Rear up!
1473
01:34:51,343 --> 01:34:52,385
Got your message!
1474
01:34:52,552 --> 01:34:55,427
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1475
01:34:56,927 --> 01:34:58,385
It's been a tough day.
1476
01:34:59,218 --> 01:35:00,218
A tough day.
1477
01:35:39,510 --> 01:35:40,927
That feels good.
1478
01:35:42,427 --> 01:35:44,427
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1479
01:35:44,927 --> 01:35:47,510
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet.
1480
01:35:48,218 --> 01:35:52,093
But also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1481
01:35:55,385 --> 01:35:58,052
And now the Empress will speak.
1482
01:36:00,093 --> 01:36:01,135
Valiant Gauls!
1483
01:36:02,302 --> 01:36:04,260
You have my eternal gratitude.
1484
01:36:04,843 --> 01:36:06,968
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1485
01:36:07,635 --> 01:36:09,302
I insisted we come to help.
1486
01:36:10,802 --> 01:36:12,552
We made this long journey
1487
01:36:12,718 --> 01:36:14,593
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1488
01:36:23,385 --> 01:36:24,843
That's my cousin Remix.
1489
01:36:25,468 --> 01:36:27,260
A specialist in world music.
1490
01:36:28,093 --> 01:36:29,218
He's my cousin.
1491
01:36:29,385 --> 01:36:31,552
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1492
01:37:18,260 --> 01:37:20,677
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1493
01:37:20,843 --> 01:37:21,885
We're chiefs.
1494
01:37:22,052 --> 01:37:24,510
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1495
01:37:24,677 --> 01:37:26,177
Don't you agree?
1496
01:37:28,302 --> 01:37:30,093
And I'm not done.
1497
01:37:30,260 --> 01:37:32,427
And behind every great man
1498
01:37:32,593 --> 01:37:33,635
is a great woman.
1499
01:37:33,802 --> 01:37:36,718
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1500
01:37:36,885 --> 01:37:39,468
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1501
01:37:40,927 --> 01:37:41,927
We'll talk at home.
1502
01:37:43,510 --> 01:37:44,510
Mimenta!
1503
01:37:45,052 --> 01:37:47,593
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1504
01:37:51,260 --> 01:37:53,385
I thought he'd never leave.
1505
01:37:54,552 --> 01:37:57,677
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1506
01:37:59,260 --> 01:38:00,343
However...
1507
01:38:00,927 --> 01:38:02,093
I lost my heart.
1508
01:38:02,885 --> 01:38:04,010
Now, now.
1509
01:38:04,510 --> 01:38:07,093
Well then, where's my little heart?
1510
01:38:09,718 --> 01:38:10,760
Bankruptis, look.
1511
01:38:11,260 --> 01:38:13,093
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1512
01:38:14,052 --> 01:38:15,093
Classy!
1513
01:38:21,968 --> 01:38:22,968
One more plate.
1514
01:38:23,052 --> 01:38:25,010
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1515
01:38:26,052 --> 01:38:27,052
I won't crack.
1516
01:38:27,093 --> 01:38:28,093
Silly me.
1517
01:38:29,385 --> 01:38:30,843
Still don't miss it?
1518
01:38:31,302 --> 01:38:32,677
Not at all.
1519
01:38:32,927 --> 01:38:34,093
Honestly...
1520
01:38:34,427 --> 01:38:35,552
the smell is vile.
1521
01:38:36,885 --> 01:38:38,760
There are still triggers, though.
1522
01:38:39,760 --> 01:38:41,968
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1523
01:38:43,510 --> 01:38:44,510
Hi, Obelix.
1524
01:38:45,177 --> 01:38:46,177
Panacea.
1525
01:38:47,052 --> 01:38:48,052
I'm interrupting?
1526
01:38:48,968 --> 01:38:50,260
I can see I am.
1527
01:38:50,927 --> 01:38:52,052
You ignore me now.
1528
01:38:53,552 --> 01:38:54,677
Are the rumours true?
1529
01:38:55,052 --> 01:38:56,135
You and Miss Tik?
1530
01:38:57,177 --> 01:38:58,177
Seriously?
1531
01:38:58,218 --> 01:39:00,218
Long-distance relationships
don't work.
1532
01:39:00,385 --> 01:39:03,135
Honestly, her there, you here...
And I'm here.
1533
01:39:03,760 --> 01:39:06,427
Waiting for you for months,
worried sick,
1534
01:39:06,593 --> 01:39:08,010
and you fall in love?
1535
01:39:08,885 --> 01:39:10,010
Don't you love me?
1536
01:39:10,968 --> 01:39:12,302
Is that a yes or a no?
1537
01:39:12,635 --> 01:39:13,760
You wanted me.
1538
01:39:14,260 --> 01:39:15,385
Is it a yes or a no?
1539
01:39:15,760 --> 01:39:17,427
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1540
01:39:17,593 --> 01:39:18,677
Panacea...
1541
01:39:19,843 --> 01:39:20,843
Don't bother.
1542
01:39:21,177 --> 01:39:24,093
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1543
01:39:25,385 --> 01:39:27,427
It's time for me to do the same.
1544
01:39:27,593 --> 01:39:28,593
Nothing personal.
1545
01:39:29,677 --> 01:39:30,677
Excuse me...
1546
01:39:31,510 --> 01:39:32,510
You're nuts.
1547
01:39:34,552 --> 01:39:35,552
But I'd...
1548
01:41:59,343 --> 01:42:00,510
Good, wasn't it?
1549
01:42:00,802 --> 01:42:02,552
Everyone had a great time.
1550
01:42:04,302 --> 01:42:05,510
Yes, a fine feast.
1551
01:42:08,418 --> 01:42:10,585
So Miss Tik has gone home?
1552
01:42:10,918 --> 01:42:12,543
Sure. It's a long ride.
1553
01:42:14,627 --> 01:42:16,168
She said I'm her true love.
1554
01:42:17,418 --> 01:42:18,418
Did she?
1555
01:42:19,127 --> 01:42:20,127
Wonderful.
1556
01:42:21,085 --> 01:42:22,168
Even so...
1557
01:42:22,752 --> 01:42:23,752
she didn't stay?
1558
01:42:23,835 --> 01:42:25,585
She'd have loved to but...
1559
01:42:26,043 --> 01:42:29,252
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1560
01:42:30,168 --> 01:42:32,002
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1561
01:42:32,335 --> 01:42:33,335
As grown-ups.
1562
01:42:34,293 --> 01:42:35,293
As grown-ups?
1563
01:42:35,543 --> 01:42:36,543
Yes.
1564
01:42:39,002 --> 01:42:40,627
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1565
01:42:46,210 --> 01:42:47,460
One for the road?
1566
01:42:47,835 --> 01:42:49,377
I wouldn't say no.
1567
01:42:58,918 --> 01:42:59,918
My chum!
1568
01:43:09,043 --> 01:43:10,418
You're strangling me!
1569
01:43:15,752 --> 01:43:16,752
THE END
1570
01:43:16,918 --> 01:43:19,293
For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo
1571
01:44:18,752 --> 01:44:20,543
You don't want me to sing?
1572
01:44:25,085 --> 01:44:26,502
I'm gonna sing anyway
1573
01:44:28,668 --> 01:44:30,377
You don't want me to sing?
1574
01:44:32,168 --> 01:44:33,877
You don't want me to sing
1575
01:44:34,252 --> 01:44:35,377
The surprise!
1576
01:44:35,543 --> 01:44:37,127
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1577
01:44:39,835 --> 01:44:42,627
So what is it?
My voice or just me?
1578
01:44:42,793 --> 01:44:45,210
So is it me or my voice?
1579
01:44:46,377 --> 01:44:49,168
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1580
01:44:49,335 --> 01:44:50,960
Or is it just me?
1581
01:44:51,752 --> 01:44:54,418
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1582
01:44:55,752 --> 01:44:57,418
Don't do this, don't do that
1583
01:44:57,585 --> 01:45:00,252
Is it my lyrics or my voice
I don't get it
1584
01:45:00,418 --> 01:45:03,210
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1585
01:45:28,252 --> 01:45:29,585
Caesar said,
1586
01:45:30,002 --> 01:45:32,085
"I want it gleaming
when I get back."
1587
01:45:32,835 --> 01:45:33,918
So buff!
1588
01:45:34,752 --> 01:45:35,960
Buff, buff, buff!
1589
01:45:38,418 --> 01:45:39,627
That's the spirit!
1590
01:45:42,918 --> 01:45:44,210
You keep Gaul.
1591
01:45:44,377 --> 01:45:46,335
I take China, rest of the world.
1592
01:45:46,502 --> 01:45:47,668
It'll go gangbusters.
1593
01:45:47,835 --> 01:45:50,002
Take it or leave it right now.
1594
01:45:50,502 --> 01:45:52,127
What might go gangbusters?
1595
01:45:52,293 --> 01:45:54,002
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1596
01:45:54,168 --> 01:45:55,793
Top-notch merchants like me,
1597
01:45:55,960 --> 01:45:58,585
we read your lips
even 5 km away.
1598
01:45:58,752 --> 01:46:00,543
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1599
01:46:00,710 --> 01:46:02,668
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1600
01:46:05,002 --> 01:46:07,793
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1601
01:46:07,960 --> 01:46:10,293
So just send him a message,
1602
01:46:10,460 --> 01:46:13,418
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1603
01:46:13,585 --> 01:46:16,127
It's in the bag.
The rascal will be back.
1604
01:46:17,168 --> 01:46:20,043
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1605
01:46:23,002 --> 01:46:25,793
Flat out.
You got a pigeon charger?
1606
01:46:26,418 --> 01:46:28,418
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1607
01:46:29,710 --> 01:46:31,502
With an Egyptian connector!
1608
01:46:32,127 --> 01:46:33,127
Why Egyptian?
1609
01:46:45,002 --> 01:46:47,252
Are you done making a ruckus?
1610
01:46:47,835 --> 01:46:49,502
We're trying to sleep!
1611
01:46:55,127 --> 01:46:56,127
Sorry.
1612
01:47:00,335 --> 01:47:01,793
Goodnight!
1613
01:47:01,960 --> 01:47:04,085
Goodnight, little Gauls!