1
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,996
<i>Will the defendant please stand?</i>

2
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:42,595
Kempton Bunton, you are charged
that on the 21st of March, 1961,

3
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:47,550
you stole from the National Gallery
the portrait of the Duke of Wellington

4
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:53,158
by the artist Francisco Goya
to the value of £140,000.

5
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,356
How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?

6
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,440
Not guilty.

7
00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,440
And that you created a public nuisance
by depriving members of the public

8
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,597
of the opportunity to view the portrait.

9
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,876
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?

10
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,553
Same again, love. Not guilty.

11
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:09,800
Mr Cussen.

12
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:12,560
Thank you, my lord.

13
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,016
At this rate,
you'll be giving that Shakespeare

14
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,360
a run for his money.

15
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,878
Imagine if Jesus had been born a woman.

16
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,395
Well, what's it called?

17
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,397
<i>The Adventures of Susan Christ.</i>

18
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:33,954
Not my cup of tea, then.

19
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,518
Oh, well, you never know.

20
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,749
Recorded delivery?

21
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,319
Aye. Good idea.

22
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,596
That will be two shillings, Mr Bunton.

23
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,239
Come on, Mr Singh.

24
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:45,754
We know you're in there.

25
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,355
I know he's in.

26
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,751
- Harry? Come on.
- Al right.

27
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:52,955
We'll come back.

28
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,997
- I know he's in.
- All right.

29
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,275
He's cooking.

30
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,431
Right, cup of tea
and then we'll go and do...

31
00:02:58,560 --> 00:02:59,880
<i>Evening Chronicle.</i>

32
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,110
<i>- How can I help you?</i>
- Is Barry Spence there, pet?

33
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,396
<i>- Just putting you through.</i>
- Thank you.

34
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,635
Dorothy?

35
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,720
I'm in here.

36
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,191
Dorothy, would you be
a sweetie and just clean the heads for me?

37
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,793
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

38
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,518
Uh, will I finish the fireplace first?

39
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,433
It's entirely up to you, but I'm playing
this afternoon. Busy, busy.

40
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,393
Oh, Dorothy,
as I was passing Fenwick's the other day,

41
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,830
I noticed that they had, um, a sign up.

42
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,309
"Storeman." Just in case your husband...

43
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,713
Uh, I just mention it.

44
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,589
- Mr Bunton.
- Curtain twitched.

45
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,640
Dad!

46
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,713
Post Office. In the street.

47
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,871
I know. Buy me five minutes.

48
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,600
- Mr Bunton?
- Cometh the hour, Jackie, lad.

49
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,716
- Mr Bunton?
- Can I help?

50
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,155
We're here to inspect
your television licence.

51
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:18,920
Look at that.

52
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,078
- What?
- Fox. Big fella.

53
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,959
Any house with a television
is required to have a licence.

54
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,592
Our radar van detected
a line output transformer signal

55
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,680
from this address,

56
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,513
coming from a cathode ray tube
this time last week.

57
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,671
- We haven't got one of them.
- That's a telly.

58
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,274
Oh. Oh, we've got one of them.

59
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,192
And do you have a licence?

60
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,280
In what sense?

61
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,714
In the sense of having one

62
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,029
or not having one.

63
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,753
<i>A Mars a day
helps you work, rest and play.</i>

64
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,434
Gentlemen, join me.
<i>Robin Hood</i> after the adverts.

65
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,517
- Can we see your licence, sir?
- Don't need one.

66
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,114
We only watch ITV,
which is paid for by these.

67
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,376
This is a mistake. I can go
to the post office in the morning.

68
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,835
This is no mistake. It is a political act.

69
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,878
Witness, I cannot receive the BBC.

70
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,712
To the left, ITV.

71
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,393
I've taken the band-one coil
from the turret tuner.

72
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,070
- Here we go again.
- My wife always supports me in private.

73
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,994
It is thus physically impossible for
this set to receive a televisual signal

74
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,835
from the British Broadcasting Corporation,
and that negates the imperative on me

75
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,230
- to pay the licence fee.
- I've only got 16 bob here.

76
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,656
- Jackie, fetch the kitty from the larder.
- Don't you move.

77
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,194
It's an unfair tax on ordinary people.

78
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,113
Especially the oldies
that can't afford it

79
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,591
Television, gentlemen,
is the modern cure for loneliness.

80
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,114
- We're a movement...
- I'm not!

81
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,077
Our aim is to persuade our government

82
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,800
that old people
should have free televisual viewing.

83
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,315
Well, the law's the law,
and no one's above it.

84
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,913
Especially a nobody like you.

85
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,719
Oi! You can't talk to me dad like that
in his own house.

86
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,632
- Or what?
- You All right, Kempton?

87
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,838
- Don't know, Barry. Never think about it.
- You back again, stirring it.

88
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,256
- Who are you?
<i>- Evening Chronicle.</i>

89
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,715
- Well, by statute...
- Free TV for the OAP?

90
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,154
I like it.

91
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,754
I was pleased. Not a lot rhymes with TV.

92
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,593
- I don't want this in the papers.
- He does. That's why I'm here.

93
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:07,310
Well, by statute, anyone owning
a television needs a licence.

94
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:12,429
Uh-huh. But I have modified this set
by removing the BBC coil.

95
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,392
So I owe the government nothing.

96
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,636
That is an unarguable proposition

97
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,030
and certainly sound in law.

98
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,315
Hold it.

99
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,951
- Thank you.
- Now, then, Bunton.

100
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:41,835
Sorry, Dad.

101
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:44,954
Where to? Home?

102
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,235
Marian.

103
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,949
Sorry, love.

104
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:00,869
Porridge.

105
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,194
Thirteen days.

106
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:08,914
Broke the law.

107
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:12,989
Upset your mother.

108
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,915
Again.

109
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,593
- Why doesn't Mam ever come?
- Don't know, Jackie.

110
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,353
You'll have to ask her that yourself.

111
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,155
When England faced its Waterloo,

112
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,913
one man stood firm.

113
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,035
This man.

114
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,714
Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington.

115
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,996
And when last week, this historic portrait

116
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,151
was in danger
of leaving the country forever,

117
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,117
we also stood firm,

118
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:54,400
raising the £140,000 required
to secure it for us all.

119
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,590
Was it really worth it?

120
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,275
I mean, looking at it,
it's not very big, is it?

121
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,829
Sir Philip?

122
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,672
Well, um,

123
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:14,912
it's an outstanding example
of late-period Goya.

124
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,313
It really is. Outstanding.

125
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,835
<i>And at the National Gallery in London,</i>

126
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,513
<i>the home secretary unveiled Goya's...</i>

127
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,353
This is champion, love. Bit of mustard?

128
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,795
You had servants in prison, did you?

129
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:29,757
You know I don't like getting up.

130
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,353
- I'll get it, Dad.
- No, you won't.

131
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,794
<i>The Iron Duke, I think...</i>

132
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:33,880
Jackie.

133
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,336
<i>Embodies our own national character.</i>

134
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,634
<i>Courage, resolve...</i>

135
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,552
Not the Duke of bloody Wellington.

136
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,153
<i>Refusal to countenance defeat.</i>

137
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,599
I sold one of me boats.

138
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,637
So you didn't go to night class?

139
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,233
Thought you'd be happy for us.

140
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,336
I'd be happier
if you were getting yourself qualified.

141
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,192
What's the armada down to, then?

142
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,350
Just the one left.

143
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,317
<i>At any price, Home Secretary?</i>

144
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,879
<i>Well, we're not in the business</i>

145
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,031
<i>of putting a price
on the nation's heritage.</i>

146
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,793
They don't have to.

147
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,838
It's the taxpayer, you and me, Jackie,
that's paid for that painting.

148
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,309
Since when have you paid any tax?

149
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,152
"Welcome home, Kempton."

150
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,072
You know what's going off here, Jackie?

151
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,310
Toffs, looking after their own.

152
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,152
Spending our hard-earned money

153
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,437
on a half-baked portrait
by some Spanish drunk

154
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,756
of a duke who was a bastard to his men

155
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,036
and who voted against universal suffrage.

156
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,157
- Against what?
- The vote.

157
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,436
The Duke of Wellington
didn't want you to have a say

158
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,836
in how this country was run
when he was prime minister.

159
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,960
Think what they could have done
with all that money.

160
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,799
Given thousands and thousands
of free TV licences

161
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,837
to war widows and pensioners, that's what.

162
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,719
Are these speeches of yours
going to put food on the table?

163
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,155
You can stop that, Dolly.
I'm back on the taxis tomorrow.

164
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,709
<i>Has yet been taken
by the British government</i>

165
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,189
<i>on the question of the Common Market.</i>

166
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,839
"One who hopes."

167
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,558
Translated from what, I couldn't say.

168
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,358
Esperanto, presumably.

169
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,317
I'm not paying for conversation.

170
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,519
I'll keep my trap shut, then.

171
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,590
In fact, he was a Polish eye doctor.

172
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,273
L. L. Zamenhof.

173
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,795
His dream was to bring humanity together

174
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,315
by means of a universal common language.

175
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,237
Fucking hell.

176
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,834
- What you doing, kidder?
- Putting a cabin on it.

177
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,034
Boat building, eh?

178
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,549
Swan Hunter will be shitting themselves.

179
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,630
You gonna live on it? Get out the house?

180
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,030
I sell them on as working boats.

181
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,955
- What are you doing home?
- Ah, keeping me head down.

182
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,160
Are you in trouble?

183
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,640
Not in Newcastle.

184
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,599
Got a little job for youse.

185
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,640
I wanna keep me nose clean.

186
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,776
- I'll source the car.
- Nah.

187
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,296
You just have to drive it
and get rid of it.

188
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,072
- Nah! I said no!
- Well, you did it before.

189
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,958
Yeah, and I regret it.

190
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,235
Well, think about it

191
00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:58,869
A business opportunity.

192
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,999
How's hostilities?

193
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,879
He's writing away,
and Mam's scrubbing the world clean.

194
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,313
Bloody Marian.

195
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,556
Aye. Bloody Marian.

196
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,558
She normally sleeps through.

197
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,598
It'll be fine. Don't worry.
She knows you. She likes you.

198
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,079
Oh, Dorothy, would you mind?

199
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,159
Sorry.

200
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,355
Ah.

201
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,999
I've always liked this dress.

202
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,993
Oh, it's taffeta. I hate it.
It's so uncomfortable.

203
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,198
Darling, it's 7:30 for 8:00,
not 8:30 for 10:00!

204
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,920
Gordon Bennett. Thank you, Dorothy.

205
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,635
So, what is it tonight?

206
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:48,434
Golf club gala.

207
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,232
- The only time they let the ladies in.
- Don't you play there?

208
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,958
Oh, God, no.

209
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,872
It would be the end of civilisation.

210
00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,710
So, is your, um... Is your husband out?

211
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,118
I mean, back? I saw the paper.

212
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,276
- Do you want me to stop coming?
- No.

213
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,318
No, no. It's...

214
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,309
It's fine, Dorothy.

215
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,033
We're very happy with you, really.

216
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,833
I don't want to cause your husband
any embarrassment.

217
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,275
Oh, no.
No, we couldn't possibly have that.

218
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,759
My husband the councillor.

219
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,240
It's a real conundrum, though, isn't it?

220
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,078
I mean, if you can't receive the BBC,

221
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,359
why should you pay the tax?

222
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,749
I'll see you later.

223
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,829
Any time this week.

224
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,831
It doesn't take five minutes
to look like this.

225
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,911
- Let's just get going.
- Where's my bag?

226
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,593
- On the ottoman.
- -Have you got keys?

227
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,637
- We don't need keys.
- I'm not driving.

228
00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:00,350
Susan, I'm not going down.

229
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,917
You'd like this one, love.

230
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,873
- Get yourself in there.
- Would you take it easy?

231
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,553
- Return of the prodigal son.
- Oh!

232
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:26,994
Don't give him any money.

233
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,400
I haven't got any.

234
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,919
Where have you two been?

235
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,832
- The Green Tree.
- Traitors.

236
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,673
- Are you still barred from there?
- A pint in there isn't a pint.

237
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,840
Oh, you could start a fight
in a ploughed field, you.

238
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,150
He accused me
of nicking their toilet rolls.

239
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,880
- You were.
- I was, aye, but he had no evidence.

240
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,519
- Habeas corpus.
- You're an idiot.

241
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,353
- Leave him alone, Mam.
- Fish pie, Kenny? You look thin.

242
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,999
What are you fussing around him for?

243
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,037
For a change from fussing around you.

244
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,238
Babycham for the lady. Dad, yours.

245
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,536
- Thank you.
- A bottle of brown.

246
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:57,313
Now, be sure and use the coasters.
You're not in Leeds now.

247
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,960
Yeah, civilisation here.

248
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,759
- Put the news on, Dolly.
- We haven't got a licence.

249
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,069
Whose side are you on?

250
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,391
My side.
I'm not turning that goggle-box on.

251
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,349
A toast. To the Buntons.

252
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,357
- Happy families.
- Happy families.

253
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,238
<i>Fans flock like swallows in the spring</i>

254
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,435
<i>to the Nation at Gallery...</i>

255
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,153
Not that sodding painting again.

256
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,629
National treasure?
It's the poor bloody foot soldiers

257
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,870
that won his battles for him
we should be celebrating.

258
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,519
<i>♪ Kick down ♪</i>

259
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,079
- <i>♪ Every door! ♪</i>
- Quiet.

260
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,039
<i>- ♪ That's what doors are there for ♪</i>
- Quiet! Quiet!

261
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,679
I hope you're proud of yourself.

262
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,600
They don't swallow what the establishment
tells them. I'm proud of that.

263
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,998
- Am I making a bed up for you?
- Aye, couple of nights, Mam.

264
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,230
She'll miss you, your dolly bird.

265
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:42,320
Who we talking about?

266
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,376
- Her that's married? Pammy?
- She's separated, Mam.

267
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,176
If she's not divorced,
she's still a married woman.

268
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,520
She was only married two months.

269
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,216
Don't you go down that road,
Jackie Bunton.

270
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,992
I'm the devil in cam ate, me.

271
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,071
We don't know anything
about your life in Leeds.

272
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,152
- Plenty of cash, never in work.
- I'm in construction.

273
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,594
It's seasonal.

274
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,336
You're always welcome here.
Back room's yours.

275
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,795
I wouldn't be surprised to hear
she's in the family way.

276
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,793
- Oh, fuck it. I've had enough.
- I'll not have language in this house.

277
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,872
- See you later, Dad. It's been lovely.
- No. I said you're welcome.

278
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,439
- I'm welcome.
- Always welcome.

279
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,816
Yeah, I heard you, all right?
I'm never welcome in this house.

280
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,080
I just don't want any swearing.

281
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,576
You wonder why I take months away...

282
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,159
I'll go and be United Nations.

283
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,709
All I ask is for you just not to swear.

284
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,520
<i>The portrait
of the first Duke of Wellington</i>

285
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,039
<i>set a record price for a Goya.</i>

286
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,031
<i>It was knocked down to an American</i>

287
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,715
<i>after 90 seconds for £140,000.</i>

288
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,831
<i>♪ ...If you don't want money? ♪</i>

289
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,639
<i>♪ What do you want
If you don't want gold? ♪</i>

290
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,995
I might have the body
of a weak and feeble woman...

291
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,559
Elizabeth I.

292
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,995
But I've got the
testicles of Henry VIII.

293
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,116
You are three and tenpence short
on yesterday, Bunton.

294
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,396
Aye, an old fella. Skint.

295
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,954
Why's he taking taxis, then?

296
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,792
He's a war veteran. Can't walk.

297
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,589
I am running a taxi firm, not a charity.

298
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,798
- Take it out me wages.
- I've had complaints.

299
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,192
One, you talk too much,
and, two, it's utter bollocks.

300
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,113
You're sacked, with immediate effect.

301
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,033
- I haven't been paid.
- Sue me, then.

302
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,159
But fuck off first.

303
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,880
Oh, hello. Yes.

304
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,557
I'll just take the address, please.
Thank you.

305
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,914
Thank you very much. Be there in a tick.

306
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,312
There is nothing more powerful

307
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,836
than when a community
discovers what it cares about.

308
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:46,394
And when a man
accepts our essential interdependence,

309
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,035
in that moment he, or she,

310
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,599
becomes a woman.

311
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,720
Or a man.

312
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,758
As the case may be.

313
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,720
How many have you got?

314
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,033
The petition's
only one part of the campaign.

315
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,157
- Three?
- Well, we've just set up.

316
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,880
Kempton Bunton?
That's not even a real name.

317
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,117
Rome wasn't built in a day, Jackie.

318
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,314
But, then again, I wasn't
on that particular job.

319
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,756
Oh, hello. Didn't know you
were political, Jackie Bunton.

320
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,155
Yeah, it's me dad. His latest campaign.

321
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,229
Me nan would love a telly.

322
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,675
Why don't you sign
my petition, then, love?

323
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,436
Uh... I don't know about that.

324
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,079
The hat suits ya.

325
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,871
I'd like to sign, Mr Bunton.

326
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,870
Unless you have any objections.

327
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,520
<i>Au contraire,</i> Mrs Gowling. <i>Au contraire.</i>

328
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,874
Thank you.

329
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,837
Now, where do I put my paw print?

330
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,309
Just there, please.

331
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,392
If Jackie goes to the bad,
I'm holding you responsible.

332
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,272
That'll be the straw, I promise you.

333
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,912
You can do your petitions
and write your plays in prison.

334
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,355
They'll do your cooking
and your washing for you and all.

335
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,080
- But I've had it.
- I've had it up to here.

336
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,949
Peace offering.

337
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,040
- Good dunkers, them ginger nuts.
- What do you want?

338
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,878
A pact.

339
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,830
Two days in London. Give me two days.

340
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,038
Then I'll be back for good.
Get a job. Keep me head down.

341
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,316
I didn't come down
in the last shower, you know.

342
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,879
Promise. Two days.

343
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,629
To change anything,
you have to go to Parliament.

344
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,597
You're wasting your life.

345
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,512
How do you eat an elephant?

346
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,317
- Who eats elephants?
- One bite at a time.

347
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,754
Stop this.

348
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,919
Please, Kempton. Please, love, please.

349
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,915
I'm begging you. Stop all your agitation.

350
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,354
Two days, that's all.

351
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,398
If I hit a brick wall down there,
that will be the end of it.

352
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,519
Two days, that's all I need.

353
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,750
Then I swear to God,
it'll be the last of it.

354
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,116
The plays, the politics, the lot.

355
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,514
Two days.

356
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,909
One last chance.

357
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,559
Do you have an appointment?

358
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,632
- He'll want to see me.
- I'm sorry?

359
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,711
I've sent him my trilogy of plays,

360
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,918
each one tackling a different aspect
of social injustice.

361
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,869
- He's not here.
- Not here?

362
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,792
He's gone to Granada.

363
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,874
- Granada Television?
- No, Granada in Spain.

364
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,349
I could wait.

365
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:36,430
Right.

366
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,074
There you go, sir.

367
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,075
I need to speak to the boss, love.
Its urgent.

368
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,434
He's over there.

369
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,197
- Sir, I have a story.
- Is that right?

370
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,157
- It's a campaign...
- I don't do campaigns.

371
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,834
- It's about social injustice.
- I don't do social injustice.

372
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,400
- Can I buy you...
- I don't do lunch.

373
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,754
Another time.

374
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,959
Friends, members,

375
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,714
citizens of this great mother
of Parliament...

376
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,155
Members, representatives, reps...

377
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,833
Friends, reps...

378
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,070
I come here, not...

379
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,320
Friends,

380
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,679
fellow citizens,

381
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,831
elected representatives
of this noble house,

382
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,831
lend me your ears.

383
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,072
- Let's just move along.
- I come not to make a protest,

384
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,639
but to demand of this government...

385
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,154
It's all right.

386
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:52,955
Bugger.

387
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,240
<i>The portrait was missing
when the first shift of attendants</i>

388
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,834
<i>reported for duty here
at 7:00 this morning.</i>

389
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,390
<i>When the gallery closed fast night,
the Goya was still in its usual place.</i>

390
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,056
<i>The National Gallery is appealing
to anybody who was here yesterday</i>

391
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,152
<i>and who saw anything or anybody
they think was suspicious</i>

392
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,520
<i>to get in touch with the police.</i>

393
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,336
Will it be out of the country already,
Commissioner?

394
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:51,399
Well, looking at the degree of planning
and expertise involved,

395
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,558
we're convinced that the Goya
has been stolen to order

396
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,669
by a well-funded, highly professional
international criminal gang.

397
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,910
Any suspects so far?

398
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,752
It's not very good, is it?

399
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:07,949
What about the police?

400
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,236
No one's looking for
the Duke of Wellington in Benwell.

401
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,391
Christ!

402
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,520
Don't touch it!

403
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,720
Jesus Christ.

404
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,640
Christ is the man we need right now.

405
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,393
- How come?
- Carpenter.

406
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,993
Someone who knows how
to put a false back on that wardrobe.

407
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,950
- I can do that.
- Get on with it, then.

408
00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:42,671
- Next up: communication.
- Cut letters out the paper.

409
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:43,760
No, do that,

410
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,536
and you'd be telling them what paper you
read, what glue you've got in the house,

411
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,597
whether you use right-
or left-handed scissors.

412
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,876
That's three coordinates,
and they've got you.

413
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,600
That's why this letter
cannot be posted from Newcastle.

414
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,240
"Query not that I have the Goya.

415
00:25:56,320 --> 00:26:00,598
The act is an attempt to pick the pockets
of those who love art more than charity."

416
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,069
Bit of Rabin Hood. Like that.

417
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,194
- Mam.
- Christ.

418
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,513
- How was Aunt Betty?
- Why are you wearing rubber gloves?

419
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,671
Varnish. Been on the boat.

420
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,195
- Hello, pet.
- Oh, you're back.

421
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,237
Didn't bring down the government, then?

422
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,994
Ah, well, I exercised my democratic right.

423
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,799
Now it's up to them.
What matters is I'm back.

424
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,110
So, you'll be going
to the labour exchange.

425
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,589
Tomorrow. First thing.
Shall I put the kettle on?

426
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,672
If you think it'll go with your outfit.

427
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,355
So, you're gonna keep your name
out of the papers?

428
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,670
Aye, well, there's no reason for me

429
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,149
to be of any interest
to the press ever again.

430
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,038
Why are you wearing rubber gloves?

431
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,912
Uh, that blocked drain.

432
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,638
We don't have a blocked drain.

433
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,355
Next door's.

434
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,356
We don't talk to next door.

435
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,113
You've gotta build bridges.

436
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,511
<i>Paris, Vienna, then London...</i>

437
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,637
- I'm off.
- Where to?

438
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:06,393
Rainbow Rooms.

439
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,955
Why in God's name
would you want to go to a club

440
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,633
with music and drinking and girls...

441
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,176
- Take care.
- When you could stop in

442
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,759
and watch telly with me and your mam?

443
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,560
Don't drink too much
if you're on that bike.

444
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,040
I'll be careful. See you later, Dad.

445
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:18,872
- And wear your helmet.
- Bye.

446
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,120
Now, then.

447
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,873
Oh, no. What have I done?

448
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,396
Kempton Bunton, I want you to swear to me

449
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,557
that you've given up all your nonsense.

450
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,914
I swear.

451
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,911
- I swear.
- Promise.

452
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,116
Dolly, love, I've learnt my lesson.

453
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,520
No more secrets?

454
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,070
Nothing. <i>Rien. Nada.</i> I promise.

455
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,792
<i>Meanwhile, the hunt
for the missing Goya portrait continues.</i>

456
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,599
<i>I feel I can profile the thief
pretty well.</i>

457
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,751
<i>He's most likely highly physically tuned,</i>

458
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,354
<i>almost certainly a trained commando,</i>

459
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,555
<i>or ex-special forces.</i>

460
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,189
- You all right?
<i>- Do you expect the criminals</i>

461
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,191
<i>- to eventually make contact?</i>
- Bit of biscuit.

462
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,557
<i>We are expecting
some communication from the thieves.</i>

463
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,790
<i>When it comes, we will respond.</i>

464
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:19,359
You remember Fat Stan,
track marshal at the dogs?

465
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,440
What?

466
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:24,838
Well, his brother-in-law, Gert,
nice fella, Dutch,

467
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,959
well, he's foreman
at this plastics injection moulding plant,

468
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,680
and he said to Fat Stan
that there's a job going.

469
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,319
But it's 10:00 at night.

470
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,993
- He's on nights.
- Who? Gert or Stan?

471
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,432
Stan. I mean Gert.

472
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,837
He's night-shift foreman. At night.

473
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,672
I wouldn't expect I'll be long,
but don't wait up.

474
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,992
<i>And as the noose tightens...</i>

475
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,230
- Ta-ra!
<i>- Around the gang responsible,</i>

476
00:28:56,320 --> 00:29:00,439
<i>the National Gallery announce
a £5,000 reward...</i>

477
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:01,994
for information.

478
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,430
- How far are you going?
- Morecambe Bay.

479
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,836
Morecambe Bay will be just champion.

480
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,958
Would you like a wine gum?

481
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,519
What are you doing?

482
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,034
Have you read this one?

483
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,154
- What's it called?
<i>- The Girl on the Bicycle.</i>

484
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,958
No. And I don't think you should either.

485
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,237
- So you have read it?
- He's told me what it's about.

486
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,719
Making money out of our grief.

487
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,677
- It's just writing.
- Well, it's wrong.

488
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,639
Well, what else can he do?
You'll never talk about it.

489
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,519
What's there to talk about?
It's done, isn't it?

490
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:48,989
She's dead.

491
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,000
I'm back!

492
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,833
Where'd you find that?

493
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,797
In the wardrobe in the back room.

494
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,152
What were you doing in there?

495
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:13,355
I live here.

496
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,319
They've got that <i>West Side Story</i> on
at the ABC, Percy Street.

497
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:30,515
Do you fancy it tomorrow?

498
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,513
We can't afford to waste money
going to the pictures.

499
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:49,275
It's <i>Romeo and Juliet,</i>
but with singing and dancing,

500
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,239
and it's set in New York,
not Stratford-upon-Avon.

501
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,270
- How far have you got?
- Far enough.

502
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,360
It's not Marian.

503
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,670
There's a girl, dies in a bicycle crash.

504
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,036
That girl's knocked off her bike
by a bus in town.

505
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,794
Our Marian came off her bike
going downhill in the country.

506
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,720
- Who's read this?
- Nobody, I shouldn't think.

507
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:11,598
I've only sent one copy out.

508
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,514
Who to?

509
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,832
Telly.

510
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,233
So the world and his wife's gonna know.

511
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,073
- You've never let me talk about it.
- Grief's private.

512
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,630
I bought her that bike. If I'd got her
anything else, she'd still be alive.

513
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,119
Well, she isn't.

514
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:13,355
Carry on.

515
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,353
Pedal. That's it! Go on!

516
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,034
Keep going! Keep going!

517
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,274
Well done!

518
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:26,834
He's not a writer.

519
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:28,797
He has pretensions, but he can't write.

520
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,875
- Where was it posted?
- Morecambe.

521
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:33,917
He's not an educated man.

522
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,877
Could he be Italian?

523
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,837
No. British. Northern.

524
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,433
This comma here tells us a lot.

525
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,039
How do you mean?

526
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,033
It's gratuitous.
It evidences poor education.

527
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,952
- He's an autodidact.
- A car mechanic?

528
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,313
He's self-taught, over a lifetime.

529
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,198
I'd put him somewhere in his late 50s.

530
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,272
So, uh, what's his mental state, then?

531
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:00,519
"The act is an attempt to pick the pockets
of those who love art more than charity."

532
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,874
He's a fantasist
who believes he's an idealist.

533
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,553
A kind of Don Quixote.

534
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,916
Oh, the, uh... The windmill fella.

535
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,317
He'll be active in his community,
known for his local campaigns.

536
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,438
Parking, litter, pub hours,
that sort of thing.

537
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,437
Thank you. That's very helpful.

538
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:20,749
My pleasure.

539
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,996
- Could someone sign me out?
- I wouldn't dare.

540
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,120
You'd be telling everybody
what I had for breakfast.

541
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,115
- Nice arse.
- You're a married man, Reg.

542
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,237
I can look at the menu
as long as I eat at home.

543
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:39,960
So has this fella got the painting, then?

544
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,799
Time-wasting bastard.
He's just after the reward.

545
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:43,880
Yeah.

546
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:45,598
The Italians still favourite, then?

547
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,717
That's where the clever money is.

548
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,072
- My first day.
- Might be your last.

549
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:11,919
Watch these ones, man.

550
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,389
They're fast. Get three like bricks, yeah?

551
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,596
In the future,
they'll have robots doing this.

552
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,637
Yeah, I can't wait.

553
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:28,839
The likes of me and you
will spend our day developing our minds

554
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,070
with literature and orchestral concerts.

555
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,039
Look, please, just keep up.

556
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,316
Come on, mind your bloomers.

557
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,438
- It's his first day, Mr Walker.
- Ah, well, you can watch it and all.

558
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,800
Still getting used to your lot
touching our white loaves.

559
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,598
- Eh?
- Yes, sir.

560
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,520
Come on.

561
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,150
Bugger.

562
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,832
'King hell. Nothing.

563
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,992
Don't you want them papers, mister?

564
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,432
No, you have them, bonny lad.

565
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,870
Good firelighters,
but you won't find any of them

566
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,633
speaking truth to power.

567
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,191
What you playing, lads? Tip and run?

568
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,396
- Can I have a bowl?
- No, you're all right, pops.

569
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:42,160
Christ.

570
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:02,193
You are Kempton Bunton
and I claim me £5,000 reward.

571
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,317
Daft bugger. I nearly shit myself.

572
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,713
What did you open it up for?

573
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:10,191
No reaction to my first communication,
50 I took the ticket off the back,

574
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:11,918
proof positive that I've got it

575
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,913
This to the workingman's paper,
<i>The Daily Mirror.</i>

576
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,957
Mam.

577
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,599
Quick, quick. Sort this lot out.

578
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:19,715
What?

579
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:32,117
<i>♪ And round about 11:00
My idea of heaven is a nice cup of tea ♪</i>

580
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,793
<i>♪ I like a nice cup of tea... ♪</i>

581
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,553
Oh, stop it, you daft brush.

582
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:36,914
Anyhow, it's half-3:00.

583
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,516
You were a beautiful dancer.
Graceful, fluid.

584
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,432
- I wasn't that good.
- You were that good.

585
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,198
Ginger Rogers of Whitley Bay.

586
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,635
I always said we should have
entered them competitions.

587
00:38:46,720 --> 00:38:49,189
- We'd never have won.
- Swept the board.

588
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:50,280
Hmm.

589
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,034
You're looking at Hollisons'
new star baker.

590
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,713
Hollisons? I thought it was plastics.

591
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,952
No. I'm Lord Bunton of the baps.
Number two oven man.

592
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,714
- Much better. You can't eat plastic.
- So will it be regular?

593
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:04,077
Aye. I've taken to it
like a swan to water.

594
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,549
And a free loaf every day.

595
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,950
- Tomorrow, a pork pie.
- Pork pie?

596
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,917
- Slightly damaged.
- You're slightly damaged.

597
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,560
Today, 14-ounce Danish.

598
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,350
Slightly damaged?

599
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,319
Light and airy,
for ladies who are watching their figure.

600
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,518
- Yeah, I'm not, though, am I?
- You're better off wobbling than ratting.

601
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,193
<i>♪ I like a nice cup of tea ♪</i>

602
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,679
<i>♪ In the morning ♪</i>

603
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,671
<i>♪ I like a nice cup of tea with my tea... ♪</i>

604
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,594
<i>♪ I like a nice cup of tea
In the morning ♪</i>

605
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:37,675
<i>♪ For to start the day, you see ♪</i>

606
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,400
<i>♪ And at half past 11:00 ♪</i>

607
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:46,789
<i>♪ Well, my idea of heaven
Is a nice cup of tea ♪</i>

608
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,555
<i>♪ I like a nice cup of tea
With my dinner... ♪</i>

609
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,270
Jackie Bunton,
is this your idea of a Saturday night out?

610
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,590
Just wait, would you? Come on, follow me.

611
00:39:58,840 --> 00:39:59,875
Jackie...

612
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:04,314
- What are you doing?
- Madam, care to view?

613
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:14,509
Gosh.

614
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:18,880
What do you think?

615
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:21,794
Yours, are they?

616
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,319
One day, aye.

617
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,631
Mmm, are we gonna be millionaires?

618
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:31,798
That's what I wanna do.

619
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,118
Build boats like this.

620
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,269
On the Tyne?

621
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:38,960
Nah.

622
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:43,395
California, New Zealand, Australia.

623
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:47,558
You just wanna get away.

624
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,956
Mam wants me to wear a shirt and tie,
and Dad wants me to punch the Pope.

625
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,350
What's the Pope done to upset your dad?

626
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,313
The Pope, prime minister...

627
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:24,880
Dolly, love,

628
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,919
it's bad enough me having to get up at
the crack of a sparrow's fart, but you...

629
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,274
Don't mind.

630
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:34,558
A full English breakfast
served by an Irish rose.

631
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,551
Eat up. You're late.

632
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,758
Oh, that's the shipping ticket
that was attached to the back of the Goya.

633
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,717
And he sent it to...

634
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,518
<i>The Daily Mirror,</i> Home Secretary.

635
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,273
So an arrest is imminent?

636
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,556
Uh, not as such.

637
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,869
But we know where this note was posted?

638
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,759
- Oh, Central Birmingham.
- The Italians?

639
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:58,915
We're re-evaluating
that aspect of the enquiry, sir.

640
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,595
But we can pinpoint precisely
the whereabouts of this person?

641
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,557
Well, sir, we're pretty sure he resides
between Morecambe and Birmingham

642
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:10,190
and has travel led in that area
at some time for work.

643
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,671
So he could be one
of about 23 million people?

644
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,159
If he's still in the area, yes, sir.

645
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,354
"The Duke is safe,

646
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,954
his temperature cared for,
his future uncertain.

647
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,714
We ask that some
nonconformist type of person

648
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,791
with the sportitude of a Billy Butlin

649
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,315
and the fearless fortitude
of a Montgomery..."

650
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,392
Sportitude, fortitude.
The man's a bloody poet.

651
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,194
Perhaps we can lock
W. H. Auden up at last.

652
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,635
What's he actually asking for?

653
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:45,230
£140,000, Home Secretary.

654
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,709
Good grief. For what?

655
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,996
Charity. As yet unspecified.

656
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,113
Clearly a lunatic.

657
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,237
Well, we will, of course,
follow any credible...

658
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,993
- Be quiet, Macpherson.
- Sir.

659
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,754
Gentlemen,
I'm fully prepared for martyrdom,

660
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,956
but I would rather like it delayed.

661
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,395
And you chaps, I believe,
need to keep your jobs.

662
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,238
So we'll meet again in 48 hours

663
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:08,836
when you will tell me of the very
significant progress you have made

664
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,276
in solving this extremely serious crime.

665
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:13,953
Yes, Home Secretary.

666
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,395
I'm back.

667
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,316
Where have you been?

668
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,877
Large white sliced. Slightly damaged.

669
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:47,599
This came for you.

670
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,311
The BBC. The play.

671
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,156
The one that's not about the accident.

672
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:58,595
They'll be wanting me
to go down to London

673
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,793
to supervise the production.

674
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,350
"Thank you for giving the drama department

675
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,637
the opportunity of reading
your intriguing play.

676
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,876
Unfortunately,
it is difficult to find an audience

677
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,917
for plays about grief."

678
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,270
Whoever they get to read plays
can't be writers,

679
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,873
that's all I can say.

680
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,238
Well, whoever they are,

681
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,557
well, maybe it's best they've said no.

682
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:38,160
Aye.

683
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,153
What's for tea?

684
00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:48,277
- Sausage and mash.
- Grand.

685
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,749
Prial of kings.

686
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,390
Akqua.

687
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,717
What a steaming pile of shite.

688
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,114
- Prial of aces.
- What? No.

689
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:03,952
There he is.

690
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:08,554
I might have known. Mr Akram.
You still on Paki time, are you?

691
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,517
- No, sir.
- You've had your ten minutes.

692
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,671
- Sorry, sir.
- Let him finish the game.

693
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:13,760
You what?

694
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,513
Me and Javid broke at the same time.

695
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,113
Kempton, please, it don't matter.

696
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,352
It does matter. We get a 15-minute break
and we've only had nine minutes of it

697
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:21,976
You don't understand.
It's different for me...

698
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,879
Are you accusing me
of racialist discrimination?

699
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,234
No, no, no, no, no.

700
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:28,596
Hey, hey. I like Pakis, me.

701
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,273
I mean, if it wasn't for your lot,

702
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,910
well, I wouldn't be able to get
a pint of milk on a Christmas morning, eh?

703
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,078
I going back up now, sir.

704
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,029
Sit down, Bunton.

705
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:41,714
You can finish your game.

706
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,394
"I will not let anyone
walk through my mind

707
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:45,919
with their dirty feet."

708
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,559
Mahatma Gandhi.

709
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,957
Well, that is brilliant, that is.

710
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,958
I'll tell you what, Bunton.

711
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,680
Get your card, clock off and fuck off.

712
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,070
You can have as long a break
as you want then.

713
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,590
Can I have one
of them pork pies, please, pet?

714
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:19,432
Yeah, one pork pie. Anything else?

715
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:20,789
No, thank you.

716
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,914
Uh, can you just damage it a bit, please?

717
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:26,800
Damage it?

718
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:28,917
Just chip a bit of pastry off the side.

719
00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:32,516
- Uh, I can.
- Thank you.

720
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,029
Rag and bone!

721
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,796
Just a pub. A stupid, petty crime.

722
00:46:58,560 --> 00:46:59,789
Where were you?

723
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,318
So what's your answer to that, then?

724
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:08,389
What you doing here?

725
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,557
Stopping over for a couple of nights, Dad.

726
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,359
- This is Pammy.
- Hiya, Mr Bunton.

727
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,913
- What do you want?
- Talking to your lad.

728
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,072
- In a bedroom?
- Well, when we knocked on the front door,

729
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,039
Pamela here didn't seem to think
your Kenny was at home.

730
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:25,316
But would you believe it,
we found him up here.

731
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,960
- Shall we all go downstairs?
- We're all right.

732
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,436
Kenny should have given evidence yesterday
at Leeds Crown Court.

733
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:34,039
But he did a runner.

734
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,634
- What you done, Kenneth?
- Me? Nothing.

735
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:38,677
They want me to grass up a pal of mine.

736
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,118
You need a witness summons, then.

737
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,635
Has everyone in this family
got a law degree?

738
00:47:43,720 --> 00:47:47,998
I'm not legally qualified as such.
I'm more a talented amateur.

739
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:51,516
One witness summons. Leeds Crown Court,

740
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:52,829
Thursday.

741
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:54,149
Thank you.

742
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,558
We'll see ourselves out.

743
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:58,314
Ta-ra, boys.

744
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:00,075
Ta-ra.

745
00:48:03,720 --> 00:48:06,030
You can't stay in this room.
I write in here.

746
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,078
Well, Mam said it would be all right.

747
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,595
- Where is she?
- Shops. I give her some money.

748
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:13,997
Not enough dinner now we're here.

749
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:18,272
Dinner's what they have down south.
Up here, it's tea.

750
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:23,276
I'm against hanging on principle,
unless it's for something really serious.

751
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:24,953
That doesn't even make sense.

752
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,919
- Are you saying I'm thick?
- You know you're thick.

753
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,355
Kenny's mate stole a car, Dolly.

754
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,238
He won't be hung for that.

755
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:33,833
- "Hanged."
- Huh?

756
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:37,159
It's "hanged."

757
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:43,758
I love your toad-in-the-hole, Mam.

758
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:44,955
Thank you, Jackie.

759
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:50,197
So, Pamela, what is your
current domestic situation?

760
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:51,600
Give it a rest, Mam.

761
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,512
I work for Mrs Gowling.

762
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,911
That's the wife of Councillor Gowling.
You may have heard of him.

763
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,296
And what's it got to do with him?

764
00:48:58,320 --> 00:48:59,976
It's the difference
between right and wrong.

765
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,513
Dad.

766
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:02,795
I agree with your mother.

767
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,520
It would be wrong for you two
to be living in sin under our roof.

768
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,959
What's happened to you?
You'll be voting Tory next.

769
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,357
<i>Play for Today's</i> on in five minutes.

770
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:16,829
We can't get BBC.

771
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:18,595
Why not?

772
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,398
Dad took the band-one coil out.

773
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,876
If you can't get the BBC,
you don't have to have a licence.

774
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,360
But you've got one sellotaped
to the side of your television.

775
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,875
- No, we haven't.
- That's mine.

776
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:31,838
What did you do that for?

777
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,119
To be normal.

778
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:35,713
Just fit the gizmo back in, then.

779
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:38,793
Dad's lost the coil.

780
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,191
So you pay for a television licence
and you still can't receive BBC?

781
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,839
Oh, we don't like <i>Play for Today.</i>

782
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:46,958
It's just an excuse
for a lot of bad behaviour.

783
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,672
Have you set your alarm, love?

784
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:54,309
What for?

785
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,789
Aren't you 6:00 to 2:00 tomorrow?

786
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,359
Aye, aye, you're right.

787
00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:01,075
Belt and braces.

788
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,816
Sandwich loaf tomorrow, if you can manage.

789
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:03,750
No problem.

790
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:05,513
No, I'm not! Oh, will you piss off!

791
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:06,829
Language!

792
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,590
She's got a nerve.

793
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:11,876
Count your blessings they're only arguing.

794
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,316
<i>Meet the Quality Street gang
sizing up the works of art.</i>

795
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:25,598
<i>The Boss.
Very smooth, but inside he's a hard nut.</i>

796
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:27,398
<i>And Fingers. Slim, elegant Fingers.</i>

797
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:28,669
<i>Everything he touches...</i>

798
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:33,071
<i>It must have been a great source
of anxiety to the National Gallery staff.</i>

799
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,754
<i>Have you, in fact, ever had
a painting stolen before?</i>

800
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:37,194
<i>Never, never.</i>

801
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:48,749
Ta.

802
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,080
<i>- About the thieves themselves?
- Well, we don't think</i>

803
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:54,039
<i>that they were professional criminals
in the strict sense...</i>

804
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:56,073
- Doll?
- What?

805
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:58,037
<i>Misguided people...</i>

806
00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,120
What?

807
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:00,873
<i>They spoke of, uh, charity in their note.</i>

808
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:01,960
Nothing.

809
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:04,953
<i>The best form of charity they could do
would be to return the picture...</i>

810
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,037
Oh, yeah.

811
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:33,033
You like that, all I'll say.

812
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:44,598
Shh.

813
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:53,035
I need a piss.

814
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:55,631
And I thought you were Cary Grant.

815
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,832
- You beauty.
- Dad!

816
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,639
Three horse accumulator! Twenty quid!

817
00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:44,360
<i>The Mirror.</i> They're making you an offer.

818
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,150
I give them the painting,
they put on an exhibition,

819
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:50,799
charge the public to see the Duke

820
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:52,917
and give me the proceeds. Bingo!

821
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:54,913
How much will an exhibition raise?

822
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,833
30,000... 50,000. Who knows?

823
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:00,594
The painting's not been
out the news, has it?

824
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,355
I'll be able to pay for
God knows how many TV licences.

825
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:07,429
You're not really gonna use it all
on telly licences?

826
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:09,710
- Why not?
- Just saying.

827
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,757
Who couldn't make use
of a couple of grand?

828
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,673
- You think Robin Hood took a rake-off?
- Aye.

829
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,671
Jackie. Robin Hood?

830
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,078
What if they're in it with the coppers?

831
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:20,639
You give them the painting,

832
00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:22,597
they don't cough up and they shop you.

833
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,269
<i>The Mirror?</i>

834
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:27,236
This is the workers' paper, Jackie lad.

835
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,152
How are you gonna get them the painting?

836
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,679
Well, I'll worry about that tomorrow.
Tonight, celebration.

837
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:34,194
Fish supper, family outing.

838
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,078
No, but, Dad, Irene's coming round.

839
00:53:36,720 --> 00:53:38,836
The more the merrier. Bring her along.

840
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:41,274
<i>So, Mrs Bunton,</i>

841
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,317
how did you and Mr Bunton meet?

842
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,311
In his mother's pub in Tynemouth.

843
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,516
He wiped me table four times.

844
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,876
It worked. You came back.

845
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,236
When she saw he was sweet on me,
his mother said,

846
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:53,993
"Some of his faults are good faults."

847
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,276
Why can't we go to the seaside?

848
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:57,360
How far's Tynemouth?

849
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,240
Ah, you wouldn't wanna be dragged
by your balls from here to Tynemouth.

850
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,430
Kenneth, language.

851
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,279
Irene's new to the family,
and she hasn't been married.

852
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:08,432
No, I'm still looking
for me Prince Charming.

853
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,358
Good luck finding him in Benwell.

854
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,193
- Benwell Village.
- Oh, you're so posh, Mam.

855
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:15,593
Here, we'll carry you.

856
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:17,193
No, don't! Oh, my God!

857
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:20,238
- Carriage for the queen!
- Stop it.

858
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:21,799
You're daft in the head.

859
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,315
Make way for the queen!
Here she is.

860
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:26,800
Go on, Queen of Benwell Village!
Come on, wave to the public.

861
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,031
<i>♪ I have loved you more each day ♪</i>

862
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,397
<i>♪ Walking back to happiness, woopah... ♪</i>

863
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,672
Four pie and chips,
two cod and chips, mushy peas, three,

864
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,558
and two pots of tea, please.

865
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,199
- Four pie and chips...
- Hello, pet.

866
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:40,839
Two cod and chips, three mushy peas

867
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:42,720
- and two pots of tea.
- I'm going for a piss.

868
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:44,480
On second thoughts, I'd prefer a lemonade.

869
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,194
- And a lemonade, please, pet.
- And a lemonade!

870
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,237
- Anything else?
- What you gonna do with it?

871
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:50,355
- What?
- The painting.

872
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,752
- What painting?
- Oh, I don't know.

873
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:57,231
The painting of the Duke of Wellington
by Francisco José de Goya.

874
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:00,715
What are you suggesting?

875
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:02,950
I'm suggesting that if you were
to move the painting

876
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,236
somewhere neutral, safe, out the house,

877
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:09,200
I could tell the authorities where it is
and we could split the 5,000 reward.

878
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:13,629
- Or?
- Or you can hang on to it,

879
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:15,438
and one day
some very public-minded citizen

880
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,676
tells the police everything
and gets all the money.

881
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,336
But we wouldn't want that
to happen, would we?

882
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,671
Because I like you,
and you would have to go to prison.

883
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:25,195
- Two and a half thousand?
- Each.

884
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:26,873
I can't do what I need to do

885
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:28,976
- with two and a half grand.
- What do you wanna do?

886
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,196
- Help people.
- Oh, help yourself, more like.

887
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,000
- Are you short of money?
- Who isn't?

888
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,310
Four specials, four cod and chips,

889
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:38,400
two mushy peas...

890
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:41,273
She knows about it.

891
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:42,360
What?

892
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:43,589
The Duke.

893
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:45,229
- Who? Mam?
- Pammy.

894
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,376
She's after the reward money.
She wants to split it with me.

895
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:49,676
- But what about the <i>Mirror</i> offer?
- I know. I know.

896
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,797
But if she goes to the police now,
we're done for.

897
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:54,440
If I take it back tonight,
maybe they'll go easy on me.

898
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,910
- Well, what'll you tell Mam?
- What can I tell her?

899
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,355
Here, I'm gonna slip back.
Keep them entertained.

900
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,856
What am I supposed to do? You can't...

901
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:04,791
I don't know. Take them to the Green Tree.

902
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,520
<i>♪ Spread the news, I'm on my way ♪</i>

903
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,671
<i>♪ Woopah, oh, yeah, yeah? ♪</i>

904
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:14,789
<i>♪ All my blues have blown away
Woopah, oh, yeah, yeah ♪</i>

905
00:56:16,240 --> 00:56:17,389
Kempton?

906
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:39,840
I can explain.

907
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:43,440
Oh...

908
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,274
Oh, my good God.

909
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:54,999
It was you?

910
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:58,632
You stole the painting?

911
00:56:58,720 --> 00:57:00,677
It's not theft for money.

912
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,559
It's, you know, for the campaign.

913
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:07,719
You're a madman.

914
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:10,359
I'm living with a madman.

915
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:13,273
But you swore to me. You promised.

916
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:16,352
- If you've involved our Jackie...
- Jackie's had nothing to do with it.

917
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:18,136
Well, why's he wearing
rubber gloves half the time?

918
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,595
- He helped me build the panel.
- So he is involved?

919
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:24,036
He hasn't touched the painting,
not without rubber gloves on.

920
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:27,430
- I'm shaking.
- It's the shock.

921
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,518
Shack, yes. I'm shocked there's
a stolen masterpiece in me wardrobe.

922
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:31,795
I'm taking it back.

923
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,277
Anything else I need to know?

924
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,760
- I lost me job at the bakery.
- Oh, there's a surprise.

925
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,559
I stood up against racial bigotry.

926
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:42,360
- Well done.
- Someone had to say something.

927
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:44,391
Yes, and he's called
Martin Luther-bloody-King,

928
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:45,919
not Kempton Bunton.

929
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:50,233
You swore you'd get a job.
We had an agreement.

930
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:52,234
You lied.

931
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,275
You lied. You lied
when you said all this would stop.

932
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,317
You don't care, do you?
No, no, no, it's just...

933
00:57:57,400 --> 00:58:00,074
Just me, me, me, isn't it?
No one else exists.

934
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,591
Pammy knows I've got it.

935
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:05,795
Oh, heavens.

936
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,315
There's a reward. 5,000.
She's after the money.

937
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:09,629
So then if...

938
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:11,680
- She'll go to the police.
- It's possible, but...

939
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:13,751
- And they'll come here.
- Only if it's...

940
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:15,672
In the street!

941
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,593
- They'll drag you out in handcuffs!
- Listen. Listen, calm down.

942
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:20,000
I can't calm down!

943
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,593
I'm at top pitch!

944
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:25,196
I'm taking the painting back to London
tonight quietly.

945
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,193
That would be the best thing for us.
For all of us.

946
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,157
I might have to do a bit of time...

947
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:32,993
It's a £140,000 painting. You'll do life!

948
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:34,593
No, love, I's not like that.

949
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:38,799
I was gonna use it for, you know,
the greater good of mankind.

950
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,599
Mankind! What about your own kind?

951
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:44,752
You've broken this family.
You're disgusting.

952
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:48,517
Get out, you bastard. Just go... Get out!

953
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:03,356
Dad! Dad, I'm coming with you.

954
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:04,953
No, you're not. This is my thing.

955
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:06,616
- No, but, Dad...
- Nothing to do with you.

956
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,438
Now, stay and look after your mother.

957
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:00,679
Excuse me, sir.

958
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,272
Are you taking one of our paintings?

959
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,710
No, son. I'm bringing one back.

960
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,149
<i>Meanwhile, in an unexpected development,</i>

961
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:15,029
<i>Goya's portrait of the Duke of Wellington
has been returned, by hand,</i>

962
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:16,235
<i>to where it was stolen</i>

963
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,231
<i>from London's National Gallery.</i>

964
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,550
<i>At a press conference,
an official described</i>

965
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:23,519
<i>how a member of the public
had simply walked in off the streets</i>

966
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:27,309
<i>with the painting under his arm,
wrapped up in a bit of old brown paper.</i>

967
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,438
<i>And when our reporter tried it,
nobody batted an eyelid.</i>

968
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,312
<i>Devlin looked down
from his bench and said,</i>

969
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:35,074
"Mr Hutchinson, are you trying
to show this court contempt?"

970
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,595
I said, "My lord, no,
I'm actually trying to hide it."

971
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,176
Well, first rule of advocacy:
don't be funnier than the judge.

972
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:42,200
Yes.

973
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,920
Mr Bunton,
I'm your barrister, Jeremy Hutchinson.

974
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:46,593
Oh, that's a shame.

975
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:48,760
I thought you were going
to offer me a gin and tonic.

976
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:50,835
Well, I'm out tonight.

977
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:53,150
My wife is in <i>The Cherry Orchard.</i>

978
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:55,834
- Playing Ranevskaya?
- Indeed.

979
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,190
Like life, I can never decide
if <i>The Cherry Orchard</i>

980
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:01,032
is a tragedy or a farce.

981
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,758
You know the play?

982
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,878
It's one of me favourites.
I lost a child meself.

983
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:08,035
I'm sorry.

984
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,069
I'm a playwright.

985
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,950
As a matter of fact,
I prefer Chekhov to Shakespeare.

986
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:15,714
For me, the Bard is overfond of his kings.

987
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:17,677
Eric Crowther. Junior counsel.

988
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:21,355
Mr Hutchinson's wife
is the actress Dame Peggy Ashcroft.

989
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:24,398
- Yes.
- Oh. You're a lucky man.

990
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:25,520
Well...

991
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:27,989
Court number one, eh?

992
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,071
- Mmm.
- The Old Bailey.

993
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,390
The crucible of British criminal justice.

994
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,911
- Dr Crippen.
- Derek Bentley. Ruth Ellis.

995
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:38,916
Well, they were all hung... I mean, hanged.

996
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:41,674
Well, they didn't have
Mr Hutchinson defending them.

997
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,233
- Who's prosecuting?
- Neddie Cussen.

998
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,355
- Score's seven to two.
- To you?

999
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:51,671
To him. Yes, born prosecutor, Neddie.

1000
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:54,229
Defendant's always guilty
until proven innocent.

1001
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:55,719
Well, can you get me off?

1002
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:58,675
Mr Bunton...

1003
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:02,633
You returned the Goya by hand
and confessed to the theft.

1004
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,712
You gave the police a detailed explanation
of how you stole it

1005
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:07,871
and you've explained your motive.

1006
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,159
Can I get you off?

1007
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:14,558
Almost certainly not.

1008
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:17,238
<i>Meanwhile,</i>

1009
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:20,199
<i>Kempton Bunton,
the Newcastle man accused of stealing</i>

1010
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:24,274
<i>Goya's portrait of the Duke of Wellington,
arrived at the Old Bailey this morning</i>

1011
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:26,556
<i>for the first day of his trial.</i>

1012
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:28,074
<i>And it was quite an entrance.</i>

1013
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:29,753
<i>Did you steal the Goya, Mr Bunton?</i>

1014
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:31,274
<i>No, I borrowed it.</i>

1015
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:34,314
<i>- Why?
- For the greater good.</i>

1016
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:36,514
We can still get there.

1017
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:41,076
He's made his bed. He can lie in it.

1018
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:47,112
<i>The rest of the day was taken up</i>

1019
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,430
<i>with empanelling the 12 citizens,</i>

1020
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:51,437
<i>12 good men and women</i>

1021
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,074
<i>who wilt tomorrow begin to hear
what promises to be</i>

1022
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,993
<i>one of the most eagerly awaited
criminal trials</i>

1023
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:58,229
<i>since the war.</i>

1024
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:00,880
<i>Another triumph
for the Duke of Wellington.</i>

1025
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:04,749
<i>And as queues begin to gather
for access to the public gallery,</i>

1026
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:08,037
<i>there is no doubt that even
by the Old Bailey's standards,</i>

1027
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:11,351
<i>this one looks
like being a very hot ticket.</i>

1028
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,234
Are you Kempton Bunton?

1029
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:20,320
Aye.

1030
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:22,994
But not named after Kempton racetrack,

1031
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:25,151
as some would have it.

1032
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:27,675
Even though it is probable
that I was conceived there.

1033
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,512
It's a yes-or-no answer.

1034
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:31,434
Yes, my lord.

1035
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:33,756
Me mother named me after Kempton Cannon,

1036
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:37,071
the jockey who rode St Amant,
the winner of that year's Derby.

1037
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,396
- Do you want me to explain Bunton?
- I didn't want you to explain Kempton.

1038
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:44,354
Charges.

1039
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:47,393
Kempton Bunton, you are charged

1040
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:50,797
that on the 21st of March, 1961,

1041
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:53,269
you stole a picture frame
to the value of £80,

1042
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:55,317
property of the National Gallery.

1043
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:57,710
How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?

1044
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:58,870
Not guilty.

1045
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:02,078
In the second count,
you are charged that on the same day,

1046
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:06,996
you stole from the National Gallery
the portrait of the Duke of Wellington

1047
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:09,640
by the artist Francisco Goya

1048
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:13,031
to the value of £140,000.

1049
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,191
How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?

1050
01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:17,157
- Not guilty.
- Yes!

1051
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:21,038
For those unfamiliar
with court proceedings,

1052
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:23,077
that was the plea, not the verdict.

1053
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:29,073
Kempton Bunton, you are further charged
that following the theft of the portrait,

1054
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:32,312
you made demands with menaces
for ts return.

1055
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,198
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?

1056
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:35,509
Not guilty.

1057
01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:37,716
And that you created a public nuisance

1058
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:41,634
by depriving members of the public
of the opportunity to view the portrait.

1059
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:43,950
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?

1060
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:45,633
Same again, love. Not guilty.

1061
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,280
Mr Cussen.

1062
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:51,679
Thank you, my lord.

1063
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:55,913
And at 5:00 a.m.,
when you returned from your rest break,

1064
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:57,673
what did you see?

1065
01:04:57,760 --> 01:05:00,070
The painting was gone, sir.
Clearly stolen.

1066
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:02,554
Thank you.

1067
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:04,756
Uh, Mr Edbury, if you could remain there,

1068
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,559
my learned friend
will have some questions for you.

1069
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:11,115
Mr Hutchinson.

1070
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:14,959
No questions, my lord.

1071
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:19,351
"The conception, design
and execution of this act

1072
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:22,512
was solely, singularly
and entirely my own."

1073
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,709
- And that statement is signed?
- Kempton Bunton.

1074
01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:29,597
Thank you, Detective Inspector.

1075
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:32,911
If you would stay there, Mr Hutchinson
will have some questions for you.

1076
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:36,953
Mr Hutchinson.

1077
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:40,553
The defence has no questions
for this witness.

1078
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,550
At this rate, we'll be finished by tea.

1079
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:46,309
And, Dr Unsworth,

1080
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,630
what is your professional opinion
of the hand?

1081
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:53,035
The childlike scrawl
across all the ransom notes is,

1082
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:54,997
when compared to his normal script,

1083
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:58,994
unequivocally the feebly disguised hand
of the accused, Mr Bunton.

1084
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:02,675
I'm grateful, Dr Unsworth.
If you would remain on stand.

1085
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:05,796
Any cross examination, Mr Hutchinson,

1086
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,076
or are you trying to give it up?

1087
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:11,160
The defence has no questions
for this witness.

1088
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,314
- What are you doing?
- The dirt in this house.

1089
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:23,400
Stop it.

1090
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:25,238
Someone's gotta keep this place clean.

1091
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:28,153
Lord knows your father
will drag us into the gutter.

1092
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:30,909
That's not true.

1093
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:33,389
And it's not Dad's fault Marian died.

1094
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:35,896
He bought her that bike, so as far
as he's concerned, he killed her.

1095
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:39,390
- Do you think I don't know that?
- Well, tell him, then. Talk about it.

1096
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:42,512
Why do you think he does his plays
and his leaflets and petitions?

1097
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:45,160
- Defend him all you like.
- I stole the painting.

1098
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:48,914
Do you hear me? I stole the Goya.

1099
01:06:50,080 --> 01:06:51,080
What?

1100
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:55,359
No. No, you didn't take that painting.

1101
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:58,751
- No, you did not.
- Aye. It was me, not Dad.

1102
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:04,394
Please, no, no, just please tell me
you're talking nonsense, Jackie Bunton.

1103
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:08,157
- Oh, my God, I'm shaking.
- Mam.

1104
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:11,119
- I'm shaking. Look at me. I'm shaking.
- I was just...

1105
01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:12,880
Stop it.
You're just making yourself shake.

1106
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:14,035
- No.
- Sit down.

1107
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:15,599
Oh!

1108
01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:16,795
What...

1109
01:07:17,960 --> 01:07:18,960
Well,

1110
01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:21,233
when did you go to London?

1111
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:25,993
It was that week I took off work.

1112
01:07:26,080 --> 01:07:29,391
But you... You said you went to Leeds.

1113
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:32,399
You lied.

1114
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,114
I was sick of you skivvying for Lady Muck.

1115
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:37,396
Sick of them all laughing at Dad.

1116
01:07:37,520 --> 01:07:40,717
I thought the painting might be like,
well, it might change everything.

1117
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:43,314
So you're a liar and a thief.

1118
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,994
I just thought if he had something
them bloody toffs wanted,

1119
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,879
they'd have to listen to,
you know, his TV crusade.

1120
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:51,395
Crusade? Jesus Christ, is he now?

1121
01:07:56,680 --> 01:07:57,795
But how?

1122
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,272
I mean, how did you take it?

1123
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:03,440
I cased the gallery.

1124
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:09,033
<i>The Goya was just sat there on an easel,
not even a guard standing by it.</i>

1125
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:13,752
<i>All I had to do was find somewhere
I could break in.</i>

1126
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:16,754
<i>I went to the toilet.</i>

1127
01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:20,239
<i>And I opened the toilet window
and leaned out.</i>

1128
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:25,073
<i>There was a courtyard below
with all builders' stuff and ladders.</i>

1129
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:27,435
Excuse me, mate.

1130
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:29,976
<i>I went up to the security fella
and asked him how you get a job.</i>

1131
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:31,399
Well, you could try the office.

1132
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:34,080
Cleaners' work, early mornings. 4:30.

1133
01:08:34,960 --> 01:08:37,349
Get night rates, though. Lucky buggers.

1134
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:39,434
I was born lucky.

1135
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:42,239
<i>And then I figured,</i>

1136
01:08:42,760 --> 01:08:46,071
<i>if the cleaners were in at half-4:00,
they'd have to turn the alarms off.</i>

1137
01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:48,000
<i>So I went back early morning.</i>

1138
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:51,710
<i>Put a ladder up
just below the toilet window,</i>

1139
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:54,114
<i>climbed up and...</i>

1140
01:08:54,760 --> 01:08:57,878
<i>I could hear one of them
automatic floor polishers.</i>

1141
01:08:59,440 --> 01:09:01,636
<i>So I waited until he'd passed and then I...</i>

1142
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:05,558
<i>I just walked across the floor.</i>

1143
01:09:05,640 --> 01:09:07,756
Don't suppose
you've ever been to Newcastle?

1144
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:15,872
What did your father say
when you told him?

1145
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:18,874
Fucking hell!

1146
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,793
- What do you think?
- I think... fucking hell!

1147
01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:23,200
140 grand.

1148
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:25,715
If you could sell it, which you can't.

1149
01:09:25,800 --> 01:09:27,438
I know. I'm not daft.

1150
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:30,393
But for pictures, the insurance
will pay out 10% for safe returns.

1151
01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:32,989
- Have you got a screw loose?
- Are you angry with us?

1152
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:36,277
Angry? No, I'm furious, you stupid penis!

1153
01:09:36,360 --> 01:09:38,795
You've nicked the best-known painting
on the planet.

1154
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:39,995
'Kinnell!

1155
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:42,879
Why can't we use it
to get them free telly licences?

1156
01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:43,995
Blackmail the bastards.

1157
01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:47,152
Hold the bugger to ransom
to better the lot of the common man?

1158
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:49,440
One problem.

1159
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:52,115
What's that?

1160
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:55,670
Two words. Mrs Dorothy Bunton.

1161
01:09:58,040 --> 01:09:59,360
We'll have to hide it from her.

1162
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:02,273
You can't hide anything
from a woman in her own house.

1163
01:10:02,360 --> 01:10:04,829
No, if she finds it, I stole it.

1164
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:07,912
- I'm not having you take the blame.
- I stole it.

1165
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:13,390
On the telly, it was in a frame.

1166
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:15,955
Shit. I took it off.

1167
01:10:16,760 --> 01:10:19,274
I must have left it under the bed
in me digs. Sorry.

1168
01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,034
You'd lose your balls
if they weren't in a bag.

1169
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:27,156
It's not very good, is it?

1170
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:06,875
"I do solemnly, sincerely
and truly declare and affirm

1171
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:12,639
that the evidence I shall give
shall be the truth, the whole truth...

1172
01:11:12,720 --> 01:11:14,950
and nothing but the truth."

1173
01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:17,236
Excuse me. Thank you.

1174
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:25,111
How old are you, Mr Bunton?

1175
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,589
I don't know. I feel about 23.

1176
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:30,638
You don't know your date of birth?

1177
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:32,438
I never had a birth certificate.

1178
01:11:32,560 --> 01:11:33,789
1900, I think.

1179
01:11:33,880 --> 01:11:35,757
Do you know where you were born'?

1180
01:11:35,840 --> 01:11:37,399
The back bedroom.

1181
01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:41,151
Of your mother's house in Newcastle?

1182
01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:42,116
Byker.

1183
01:11:42,200 --> 01:11:45,556
If Newcastle was a dog,
you lifted its tail,

1184
01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:47,631
that hole there, that's Byker.

1185
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:54,073
Your father fought
in the First World War at Ypres.

1186
01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:56,151
Wipers. He weren't an officer.

1187
01:11:56,760 --> 01:11:58,433
He came back in a wheelchair?

1188
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:01,074
Aye. Tank ran over his legs.

1189
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:03,754
How did he feel
about the Germans after that?

1190
01:12:03,840 --> 01:12:06,559
Never a bad word.
The Germans didn't have tanks.

1191
01:12:06,640 --> 01:12:09,029
You helped him to run his business.

1192
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:12,033
Aye. He was a street bookie,
and I did his running for him.

1193
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:15,795
It was illegal, but you could bribe
the beat bobby with 12 shillings.

1194
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:17,040
I was as guilty as anybody...

1195
01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:19,549
And who hasn't been guilty
of a youthful indiscretion,

1196
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:20,994
ladies and gentlemen of the jury?

1197
01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:24,357
The past, as they say, is another country.

1198
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:29,039
Your father died, and you lived
with your mother who ran pubs.

1199
01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:30,793
Aye. It were a rough game,

1200
01:12:30,880 --> 01:12:32,757
but she had a left hook
like Henry Cooper's.

1201
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:35,798
Luckily she didn't cut quite as easy.

1202
01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:37,109
In the Second World War,

1203
01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:39,191
you were refused service
on medical grounds.

1204
01:12:39,280 --> 01:12:41,317
I done me bit. I drove lorries.

1205
01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:43,319
You married young?

1206
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:45,710
- I had to marry.
- "Had to marry"?

1207
01:12:46,760 --> 01:12:50,071
It was love. The decision was made for me.

1208
01:12:51,720 --> 01:12:54,314
Did you intend to steal this painting

1209
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:57,916
in the sense of permanently
depriving the gallery of it?

1210
01:12:58,000 --> 01:12:59,000
Never.

1211
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:02,837
Did you ever demand money with menaces
at any time from anyone?

1212
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,149
No, sir.

1213
01:13:04,240 --> 01:13:07,870
In 1960, did you communicate
with the Post Office

1214
01:13:07,960 --> 01:13:09,712
about your television licence?

1215
01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:11,916
Aye, I told them
I had no intention of paying it

1216
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,354
because I couldn't receive BBC.

1217
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:15,158
You went to prison for not paying it.

1218
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:16,240
I did.

1219
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:20,029
On your release, you
continued a campaign for free television

1220
01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:22,760
for pensioners and war veterans,
is that correct?

1221
01:13:22,840 --> 01:13:26,310
I could afford a licence myself.
It was about the principle of the thing.

1222
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:29,791
All me life I've looked out for
other people and got into trouble for it.

1223
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:32,520
When did that begin,
looking out for others?

1224
01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:35,598
I were about 14,

1225
01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:38,314
summer holidays.

1226
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:42,109
I'd just finished reading
Joseph Conrad's <i>Heart of Darkness,</i>

1227
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:44,635
and I felt a need to explore Sunderland.

1228
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:50,434
But I got distracted
and found myself on South Shields Beach.

1229
01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:53,840
I chucked myself in the sea to cool down.

1230
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:56,070
A rip tide dragged me out.

1231
01:13:56,880 --> 01:13:59,679
I was on me own, exhausted,
about a mile out,

1232
01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:01,876
and I knew there was no way
I'd get back in.

1233
01:14:02,440 --> 01:14:04,078
But I had faith.

1234
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:06,356
Not in God, but in people.

1235
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:10,336
I knew some nosy bugger
would see a pile of clothes on the beach

1236
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,237
and put two and two together.

1237
01:14:13,440 --> 01:14:16,432
So I trusted in that, and waited.

1238
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:22,990
Conserved me energy by floating,
not swimming.

1239
01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:27,915
Looked at the sky...
smile on me face.

1240
01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:30,432
You could call it trust.

1241
01:14:31,360 --> 01:14:34,637
An hour later,
the lifeboat pulled up alongside

1242
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:35,994
and hauled me in.

1243
01:14:36,080 --> 01:14:41,075
The skipper was a milkman from Blyth,
by all accounts, a bit of a bastard.

1244
01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:43,833
Excuse my French.

1245
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:47,072
But, you know, as a milkman, I mean,
but there's good and bad in all of us.

1246
01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:48,829
He saved my life that day.

1247
01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:51,116
Could have been anyone,
but I knew someone would.

1248
01:14:51,920 --> 01:14:54,309
I'm not me without you. Do you get me?

1249
01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:56,994
- We all need each other?
- No, you are me.

1250
01:14:57,720 --> 01:15:01,634
It's you that makes me me,
and it's me that makes you you.

1251
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:03,631
Humanity is a collective project.

1252
01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:07,156
Look, on me own, I'm a single brick.

1253
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:08,240
A bit useless.

1254
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:10,957
What good's a brick on its tod?

1255
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:13,680
But you put a load of bricks together,
you get a building.

1256
01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:16,115
You build a building, you create a shadow.

1257
01:15:16,200 --> 01:15:18,271
Already you've changed the world.

1258
01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:20,874
Your philosophy,
I think it ears the appellation.

1259
01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:24,555
How did you apply this thinking
to your own struggle?

1260
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:29,631
You can't help the dead,
but you can be inspired by them.

1261
01:15:29,720 --> 01:15:32,176
<i>Some of them kids that this country
sent out to France and Belgium</i>

1262
01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:34,237
<i>in 1914 came back.</i>

1263
01:15:34,320 --> 01:15:35,640
<i>They're over 65 now,</i>

1264
01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:38,394
<i>pensioners with not two pennies
to rub together.</i>

1265
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:40,238
<i>And isolation,</i>

1266
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,789
<i>or not being connected,
to use the modern lingo,</i>

1267
01:15:42,880 --> 01:15:44,234
<i>is no kind of life.</i>

1268
01:15:44,320 --> 01:15:46,516
<i>So what you grandly call my philosophy,</i>

1269
01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:48,273
<i>the "I'm you and you're me" thing,</i>

1270
01:15:48,360 --> 01:15:52,877
<i>tells me that every time
someone gets cut off from the rest of us,</i>

1271
01:15:52,960 --> 01:15:56,749
<i>this nation, this country,
becomes a foot shorter.</i>

1272
01:16:11,680 --> 01:16:15,310
Mr Bunton, I suspect the jury
are asking themselves

1273
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:18,836
how any of this applies
to the theft of the Goya.

1274
01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:21,275
- Well, I saw on the news...
- The ITV news?

1275
01:16:22,560 --> 01:16:23,709
Very good.

1276
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:28,590
I seen that the government was paying out
£140,000 for this painting.

1277
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:30,239
That, for me, became about numbers.

1278
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:34,518
If you put all that money
into a bank account earning 10% interest,

1279
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:39,151
you could pay for 3,500 TV licences a year

1280
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:41,072
and reconnect with all them people.

1281
01:16:49,880 --> 01:16:51,598
No further questions, my lord.

1282
01:17:09,960 --> 01:17:15,399
You saw the painting on the ITV news,
and realising it was worth £140,000,

1283
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:20,276
you decide to come down to London
to steal it for personal gain, didn't you?

1284
01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:22,590
I thought I'd kidnap it for a while, aye.

1285
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:27,995
Where did you stay
whilst you planned the heist?

1286
01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:30,071
I took digs near a bucket shop.

1287
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:32,234
What's a bucket shop?

1288
01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:35,438
A shop that sells buckets.

1289
01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:37,039
Was that deliberate?

1290
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:39,634
- No, but it came in useful.
- In what way?

1291
01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:42,314
Well, this isn't my city, is it?
I don't know my way around.

1292
01:17:42,400 --> 01:17:45,440
So I'd get to Camden and ask a local,
"Do you know where I can buy a bucket?"

1293
01:17:45,560 --> 01:17:47,153
And that way you would get directions?

1294
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,436
Everyone knows where you can buy a bucket.

1295
01:17:50,920 --> 01:17:53,230
Do you know the address of the shop?

1296
01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:57,112
Why? Do you need a bucket?

1297
01:17:57,960 --> 01:17:59,633
We... No, we need... We...

1298
01:17:59,720 --> 01:18:01,552
Excuse me. We need the address

1299
01:18:01,640 --> 01:18:03,320
because you said that
you removed the frame

1300
01:18:03,360 --> 01:18:05,670
and hid it under the bed in your lodgings.

1301
01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:07,512
So is the bucket shop still there?

1302
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:10,558
I've no idea. I've not been back.
I'm not short of buckets me self.

1303
01:18:10,640 --> 01:18:13,917
Mr Bunton, you are on trial.

1304
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:16,116
This is not an audition for a music hall.

1305
01:18:16,200 --> 01:18:17,599
Sorry, my lord.

1306
01:18:24,280 --> 01:18:27,033
What am I looking at? Ten years?

1307
01:18:28,320 --> 01:18:32,439
I'll make my closing speech, and then
the judge will give his summing-up,

1308
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:37,316
which, I warn you, may sound a bit like
the second speech for the prosecution.

1309
01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:41,596
All the benches up there
have this Latin phrase on them.

1310
01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:44,115
"Domine dirige nos."

1311
01:18:44,200 --> 01:18:45,235
"Lord, direct us."

1312
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:47,990
God help us, more like.

1313
01:18:50,720 --> 01:18:52,518
Well, I'll give you two some time.

1314
01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:53,954
Please.

1315
01:19:04,360 --> 01:19:06,920
- Well, you're all over the papers.
- Am I?

1316
01:19:09,960 --> 01:19:11,678
You could have told me.

1317
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:13,512
We could have dealt with it together.

1318
01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:16,315
Could we?

1319
01:19:22,320 --> 01:19:23,913
I read the rest of your play.

1320
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:26,989
I'm sorry you felt you were to blame.
You're not.

1321
01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:34,998
I went to see her.

1322
01:19:37,320 --> 01:19:39,755
- Nice spot, isn't it?
- Uh-huh. Lovely.

1323
01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:46,113
- Cleaned it up a bit.
- I like the wildness.

1324
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:50,033
- She died in the country.
- Any excuse to do nothing.

1325
01:19:56,680 --> 01:19:58,398
How long will you get?

1326
01:19:58,520 --> 01:19:59,635
I don't know.

1327
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:01,760
Ten years.

1328
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:08,353
You didn't take the painting.

1329
01:20:09,960 --> 01:20:12,156
Would you rather Jackie was in the dock?

1330
01:20:15,320 --> 01:20:16,958
I'm sorry, Dolly.

1331
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:20,957
It's a mess.

1332
01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:27,273
It's a mess, all right.

1333
01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:41,275
As night follows day,
Kempton Bunton stole the Goya.

1334
01:20:43,200 --> 01:20:44,838
So say the prosecution.

1335
01:20:45,360 --> 01:20:46,953
Now...

1336
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:49,354
that puzzled me,

1337
01:20:50,560 --> 01:20:54,394
because nothing is a crime in this country

1338
01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:59,151
unless it is expressly forbidden by law.

1339
01:20:59,960 --> 01:21:04,033
If your neighbour barrows your lawnmower
and doesn't return it for months,

1340
01:21:04,120 --> 01:21:07,750
it is frustrating, it is annoying,

1341
01:21:07,840 --> 01:21:09,911
but it is not theft.

1342
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:16,270
Because he had no intention
of permanently depriving you of it.

1343
01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:20,598
Kempton Bunton is your neighbour.

1344
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:23,354
He is not a thief.

1345
01:21:23,440 --> 01:21:27,035
He borrowed your Goya to...

1346
01:21:27,120 --> 01:21:30,431
try and do a bit of good in this world,

1347
01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:32,439
in a world where...

1348
01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:35,555
I am you...

1349
01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:38,840
and you are me,

1350
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:41,238
to try and benefit

1351
01:21:41,320 --> 01:21:44,073
some of the most
vulnerable people in society.

1352
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:48,711
He returned it,
delivered it in person, the Goya.

1353
01:21:48,800 --> 01:21:52,156
Late, yes, yes...

1354
01:21:53,880 --> 01:21:54,880
yes.

1355
01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:02,317
Who amongst us hasn't been late
returning a lawnmower?

1356
01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:08,231
When all is said and done...

1357
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,518
he's a pretty good neighbour, really.

1358
01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:16,920
Isn't he?

1359
01:22:20,440 --> 01:22:21,714
Thank you.

1360
01:22:31,840 --> 01:22:35,117
And in response
to Mr Bunton's confession

1361
01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:37,271
that he took the Goya,

1362
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:39,920
you may consider that
as a result of his defence,

1363
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:42,833
every gallery in the country
will be powerless to prevent anyone

1364
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:46,072
from borrowing a Rubens for the weekend,

1365
01:22:46,160 --> 01:22:49,073
to hang in the hallway
to impress the chair of the Rotary Club.

1366
01:22:49,160 --> 01:22:51,800
Can this country
really allow such behaviour

1367
01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:54,394
to be placed outside our criminal law?

1368
01:22:54,960 --> 01:22:58,237
Now, that is a question
I urge you to focus on now,

1369
01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:02,152
as you retire to consider your verdicts.

1370
01:23:16,960 --> 01:23:18,439
This is a good sandwich.

1371
01:23:19,960 --> 01:23:20,995
It is.

1372
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:23,310
For cheese.

1373
01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:57,037
Will the foreman please stand?

1374
01:23:57,680 --> 01:23:59,159
And the defendant.

1375
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:01,719
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

1376
01:24:01,800 --> 01:24:05,430
have you reached verdicts
upon which all 12 of you are agreed?

1377
01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:07,280
We have.

1378
01:24:07,880 --> 01:24:10,349
On the charge
of the theft of a picture frame

1379
01:24:10,440 --> 01:24:14,115
to the value of £80,
property of the National Gallery,

1380
01:24:14,200 --> 01:24:16,669
do you find the defendant
guilty or not guilty?

1381
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:17,760
Guilty.

1382
01:24:21,680 --> 01:24:24,320
Establishment fix-up!
Establishment fix-up!

1383
01:24:24,400 --> 01:24:26,550
There will be silence!

1384
01:24:27,320 --> 01:24:29,994
Or I shall order
the public gallery cleared.

1385
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:34,753
On the charge of the theft
of the Goya portrait

1386
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,194
of the Duke of Wellington,

1387
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:39,398
do you find the defendant
guilty or not guilty?

1388
01:24:50,760 --> 01:24:52,034
Not guilty.

1389
01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:09,518
On the charge
of demanding money with menaces

1390
01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:10,874
for the return of the portrait,

1391
01:25:10,960 --> 01:25:13,759
do you find the defendant
guilty or not guilty?

1392
01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:14,910
Not guilty.

1393
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:18,830
Silence!

1394
01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:21,437
Silence in court.

1395
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:25,640
On the charge
of creating a public nuisance

1396
01:25:25,720 --> 01:25:28,758
by depriving members of the public
of the opportunity to view the portrait,

1397
01:25:28,840 --> 01:25:30,240
do you find the defendant guilty...

1398
01:25:30,280 --> 01:25:31,509
Not guilty.

1399
01:25:37,960 --> 01:25:40,600
It's a hat-trick!

1400
01:25:40,680 --> 01:25:42,353
Whoo!

1401
01:25:42,440 --> 01:25:45,080
<i>♪ And did those feet ♪</i>

1402
01:25:45,160 --> 01:25:46,434
<i>♪ In ancient time... ♪</i>

1403
01:25:46,560 --> 01:25:49,234
Silence! Silence in court.

1404
01:25:49,320 --> 01:25:51,880
<i>♪ Walk up on England's mountains ♪</i>

1405
01:25:51,960 --> 01:25:54,031
I will have silence.

1406
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:55,758
<i>♪ And did the... ♪</i>

1407
01:25:55,840 --> 01:25:58,559
- Silence in court!
<i>- ♪ ...Holy Lamb of God... ♪</i>

1408
01:25:58,640 --> 01:26:00,039
Remove that woman.

1409
01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:02,677
I'm not going anywhere.

1410
01:26:07,880 --> 01:26:14,593
<i>♪ And did thy countenance divine ♪</i>

1411
01:26:14,680 --> 01:26:20,676
<i>♪ Shine forth upon our clouded hills? ♪</i>

1412
01:26:21,840 --> 01:26:26,437
<i>♪ And was Jerusalem builded here... ♪</i>

1413
01:26:26,560 --> 01:26:28,119
Thank you.

1414
01:26:29,120 --> 01:26:31,430
<i>♪ Among those dark ♪</i>

1415
01:26:31,560 --> 01:26:36,430
<i>♪ Satanic mills...? ♪</i>

1416
01:26:38,560 --> 01:26:40,392
Give us one of those bags.

1417
01:26:41,320 --> 01:26:43,311
- You're here.
- Course I'm here.

1418
01:26:43,400 --> 01:26:45,152
Where else do you think I'd be?

1419
01:26:45,920 --> 01:26:48,992
I haven't been wasting me time.
I've written a couple of plays.

1420
01:26:49,080 --> 01:26:50,400
Hmm.

1421
01:26:50,520 --> 01:26:52,670
Shakespeare must be shivering
in his boots.

1422
01:26:52,760 --> 01:26:56,196
I expect so. And Chekhov.

1423
01:26:57,560 --> 01:26:58,789
Who's Chekhov?

1424
01:27:00,400 --> 01:27:03,199
Do you remember that play we went to see
about the three sisters?

1425
01:27:03,280 --> 01:27:09,231
<i>♪ I will not cease from mental fight ♪</i>

1426
01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:15,760
<i>♪ Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand ♪</i>

1427
01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:22,359
<i>♪ Till we have built Jerusalem ♪</i>

1428
01:27:22,920 --> 01:27:25,309
<i>♪ In England's green ♪</i>

1429
01:27:25,400 --> 01:27:30,315
<i>♪ And pleasant land ♪</i>

1430
01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:31,879
There she is.

1431
01:27:40,200 --> 01:27:42,874
- Welcome home, Dad.
- Welcome home, Dad.

1432
01:27:42,960 --> 01:27:44,598
I'll put the kettle on.

1433
01:27:46,040 --> 01:27:47,519
Is one of those for me?

1434
01:27:49,880 --> 01:27:50,950
Wet your whistle.

1435
01:27:51,040 --> 01:27:52,872
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1436
01:27:57,400 --> 01:28:00,074
- I needed that.
- I bet you did.

1437
01:28:00,160 --> 01:28:01,878
Best I've ever tasted.

1438
01:28:10,080 --> 01:28:12,230
The Director of Public Prosecutions and I

1439
01:28:12,320 --> 01:28:15,233
have considered the evidence in the case,

1440
01:28:16,520 --> 01:28:17,669
and your confession.

1441
01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:23,753
It goes without saying,
it is an offence of the utmost gravity.

1442
01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:29,310
However, in order to prosecute,

1443
01:28:29,400 --> 01:28:31,198
we would be compelled to call...

1444
01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:34,595
the original defendant.

1445
01:28:34,680 --> 01:28:36,671
It puts us in a delicate position,

1446
01:28:37,520 --> 01:28:40,990
given the public spectacle
your father seems to create.

1447
01:28:41,760 --> 01:28:43,910
So, it has been decided that...

1448
01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:48,634
prosecuting you may not be
in the public interest.

1449
01:28:48,720 --> 01:28:52,156
What, you mean Kempton would
make you look stupid again?

1450
01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:54,000
Sorry. I didn't mean...

1451
01:28:54,080 --> 01:28:57,960
Of course, if a single word of this
were ever to go beyond these walls,

1452
01:28:58,040 --> 01:28:59,997
we could always change our minds.

1453
01:29:01,400 --> 01:29:03,118
- Clear?
- Clear.

1454
01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:16,279
- Irene?
- I will.

1455
01:29:16,360 --> 01:29:18,874
- Will you marry me?
- I just said I will.

1456
01:29:25,640 --> 01:29:27,790
<i>Just like you on this island, Dr No.</i>

1457
01:29:27,880 --> 01:29:31,635
<i>It depends, Mr Bond,
on which side of the glass you are.</i>

1458
01:29:33,040 --> 01:29:36,635
<i>A medium dry martini, lemon peel,
shaken, not stirred.</i>

1459
01:29:36,720 --> 01:29:38,358
<i>- Vodka?
- Of course.</i>

1460
01:29:49,200 --> 01:29:51,157
It's that bloody picture again.

1461
01:29:51,240 --> 01:29:52,992
He should put that into a wardrobe.

1462
01:29:53,560 --> 01:29:55,517
He'd have to get Jackie to fix it for him.

1463
01:29:56,760 --> 01:29:59,593
<i>Well, Dr No,
you haven't done badly, considering.</i>

1464
01:29:59,680 --> 01:30:01,796
<i>A handicap is what you make of it...</i>