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Two straight men

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But only one will win

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Oh, oh, oh, oh

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"Gayme Show!"

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Demi Lovato, everyone.

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Yes, Demi Lovato.

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Of course, "Demi Lovato"
is the gay "aloha."

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It means both hello and good-bye.

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I'm your host, Matt Rogers.

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And I'm also your host, Dave Mizzoni,

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and this is "Gayme Show!"

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where we take two straight contestants
and put them head-to-head

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to see which one of them
will be named honorarily...

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Gay as fuck!

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And will reign forevermore
as queen of the straights.

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Yeah

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Before we meet our straights,

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let's get to know their lifelines
or, as we call them, life partners.

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First up, it's our wise queer.

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Please welcome Joel Kim Booster.

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Joely!

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Incredible.

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And now the woman who gets it.

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It's Nicole Byer.

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And with that, we're ready
to meet the straights.

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Release them!

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Despite Moses Storm's name,
he has not competed in the X Games.

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He has, however, referred
to inanimate objects as "bad boys."

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Josh Gondelman,
a self-proclaimed "Dog Dad,"

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owns special-edition
Dunkin' Donuts sneakers.

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That's real.

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Celebrity essences

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Contestants will now be given
three different clues

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which, when combined, will form
the essence of a particular celebrity.

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Your clues are: bell-bottom jeans.

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You'll notice the shape of the jeans.

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Our second clue:
Madame Tussauds wax museum.

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You could see Ricky Martin.

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And calling this woman "Arne Jonavan."

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Ugh, I loved her
in "The Dervin Wears Perdle."

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Contestants, deliberate
and write down your answers.

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Bell-bottom jeans,

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Madame Tussauds,

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and "Arne Jonavan."

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Moses, who is this?

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I guessed the world's oldest doll,
AKA John Travolta.

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Hmm.

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Just for some bonus points,
can you name his costar in "Grease"?

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She has three names.

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Moses was homeschooled
on Venice Beach, okay?

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He doesn't know--

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- Can we steal?
- Yes, steal.

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Olivia Newton-John.

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- Olivia Newton-John.
- Who is that?

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So now, Josh, talk to us
about your answer.

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We saw the bell-bottoms.

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We thought kind of a classic '70s
iconic look.

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- Okay.
- Madame Tussauds, someone who's timeless.

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Yes, someone who maybe, like,
tweets poorly

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and, like, non sequiturs,
like, "What?"

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'Cause they don't have to know things
because they are themselves an icon.

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Nicole led me to Cher.

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- Okay, Cher.
- I see.

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Nicole, why do you feel so strong?

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Cher wore bell-bottoms.

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Cher is in Madame Tussauds.

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Cher doesn't know
what's going on in the world.

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As somebody who has no idea
what's going on in the world at all times,

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I agree; it's a very gay thing.

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It's true.
Dave thought those were boot cut.

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Even the mention of Cher's name
earns you 50 points.

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- Oh!
- Yes.

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- Very good, very good.
- But it's not Cher?

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Matt, please reveal the answer.

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John Travolta.

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That's my boy!

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Yeah

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Politics.

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- You can say that again.
- No.

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Our straights will now debate real issues
facing the queer community.

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Have you heard?

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Ooh, she's running

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She's running

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She's running.

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Moses Storm, you'll go first.

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Josh, you must disagree with him
because we're messy.

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Moses, should gay people
have to wait in lines?

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Ugh, simply put,

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ain't nobody got time for that.

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How long are we gonna make
gay people wait?

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They have to wait till everyone in their
family is cool with them coming out.

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They had to wait till Timothée Chalamet
turned 18 to properly perv-troll him.

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I say no more.

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I say I'm out of line.

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Okay, Senator Storm,
we have to move on.

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I do just want to comment on your use
of "Ain't nobody got time for that,"

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a decades-old meme.

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I'm gonna take away 25 points for that.

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Josh, it's time for your rebuttal.

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So apparently I believe that gay people
should have to wait in line.

101
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But here's the twist.

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They should have to wait
right at the front of the line,

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and then all the straight people
have to wait behind them

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so they have the experience
of getting something second

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the way gay people
got to have marriage equality

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and a second "Mamma Mia!" film.

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- I love that.
- I love that.

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Thank you, candidates.

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The ballots have been counted,
and our winner tonight,

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a recipient of 38 points,

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one for each state that we like
in this country, is...

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Josh Gondelman.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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Oh, yeah

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Boys, it is now time for you...

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To make an entrance!

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Whoa!

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Uh-oh, Dave, I think
it's a "Love, Actually," moment.

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Heaux, heaux.

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Santa!

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Everyone's getting presents!

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Oh!

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Whoa!

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- Amazing!
- Oh!

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- Amazing!
- Ho, ho, ho!

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The magic of Christmas.

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Whoa!

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Here we go! Round one!

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Yes!

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- Absolutely!
- Oh my God!

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Xtina, more like XtiNO!

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- Okay, whoa.
- Absolutely!

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Oh my God.

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Filth! Filth!

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Oh!

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Oh!

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Your modesty. Your modesty.

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Wow, wow, wow.

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Because betrayal is an inherent part
of the queer experience,

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we now go to your life partners,
who have become your judges.

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I thought it was adorable.

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Thank you.

143
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And then we had a Sasha Velour reveal.

144
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Instead of flowers, it was snow.

145
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So you paid attention to "RuPaul's
Drag Race" for at least one season.

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- Yes.
- Yes, Josh, you truly captured

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the magic of Christmas for us.

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- Yes.
- Thank you. It was my first time.

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Oh, yes, 'cause you're a Jewish.

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- Oh, yes.
- Ah.

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How did you feel about your teammate,
Joel Kim Booster, the wise queer?

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Moses, you gave me all the desperation
of someone who's unemployed...

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And who needed the work.

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And that is queer.

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- I thought it was absolutely incredible.
- And you engaged with the audience.

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You immediately got into a woman's face.

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- And she did not want it.
- No, she didn't want it.

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- She did not want it.
- Mm-hmm. She didn't.

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No, I watched her say, "Absolutely no."

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The crowning

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I think we can all agree
you have both grown tonight

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from small, frail boys
to large, huge allies.

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And now, the winner of "Gayme Show!"
named honorarily gay as fuck

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and queen of the straights, is...

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Moses Storm!

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Moses Storm! Oh, my God!

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Moses!

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Yeah, yeah

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The "Gayme Show!"

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See you next time, and...

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Demi Lovato!