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- ♪ Two straight men ♪

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♪ But only one will win ♪

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♪ Oh oh ♪

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VONZELL: ♪ Gayme show! ♪

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[cheers and applause]

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- Hello, and JoJo Siwa, everyone.

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- Yes, JoJo Siwa,
which in this house means

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peace be with you.
- Yes, I'm your host Matt Rogers.

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- And to piggyback off that,
I'm also your host, Dave Mizzoni.

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And this is "Gayme Show,"

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where we take two straight contestants
and put them head-to-head

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to see which one of them
will be named honorarily...

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ALL: Gay as fuck!

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- And will reign forevermore
as Queen of the Straights.

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- ♪ Oh yeah-eah ♪

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- Before we meet our straights,
let's get to know their lifelines,

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or as we call them, life partners.

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First up, it's our wise queer.
Please welcome John Lovett.

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[cheers and applause]

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- And now the woman who gets it--
it's Robin Thede!

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And with that,
we're ready to meet the straights.

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- Release them!
- Go.

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- Max Silvestri once built a deck
with his dad.

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- Will Miles watches "In Bruges,"
"Fight Club," and "The Big Lebowski"

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whenever they're on TV.

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- ♪ Celebrity essences ♪

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- Contestants will now be given
three different clues

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which, when combined, will form
the essence of a particular celebrity.

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Your clues are...

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The top of the food chain...

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- Rraaw!

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- Harvard Business School.

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- Online classes count.

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- And bursting out of your own
birthday cake.

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It's all about her.
Contestants, deliberate.

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[clock ticking]

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So we got the concept
of being on top of the food chain,

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Harvard Business School,

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bursting out of your own birthday cake.

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Robin and Will.

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- We think it's...

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BOTH: Tyra Banks.
- Tyra Banks.

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- What got us to Tyra Banks?
- So top of the food chain obviously

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is supermodel number one.
- She's top of the food chain.

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- She went to Harvard Business,

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but it was like the night school
version, I think.

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And Will thinks he remembers her
jumping out of a cake.

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- I feel like I do.
- All a bunch of fun stuff.

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What about John and Max?

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- It took a bit to get to our final.

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- That's clear.
- We landed on Gwyneth Paltrow

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because she's, you know, couldn't be a
richer, more successful businessperson.

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- Couldn't be more.
- She's got an Oscar.

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- Okay, John, are you behind this?

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- He has a feminine energy, so...
- Yes!

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- I am with him...

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a hundred percent.

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- Yes, okay, great.

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Dave will now reveal the answer.

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Go on ahead, Dave.

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Would you believe it's Tyra Banks?

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[cheering, chatter]

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VONZELL: ♪ Yeah-eah ♪

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- If you're going to be an ally
to this community,

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you must be a listener.

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- Robin Thede will now deliver

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a detailed story about her life or week.

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MATT: Based on that story,
our straights will answer

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a series of questions to determine

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whether or not they've truly heard her

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in a game we call...

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- ♪ Hear her ♪

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♪ Hear her, hear her ♪

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Shh!

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- Robin Thede, the floor is yours,
and babe,

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we're gonna hear you.
- Thank you so much.

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All right, over the weekend,
I went to see my eight-year-old niece's

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cheerleading competition
at Six Flags, Magic Mountain.

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Even though I got there early,
it took 45 minutes to get inside the park

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because everyone around me
was incompetent!

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At one point,
I passed a ride called Full Throttle

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where I heard someone saying, "Who cares
if you could die on this thing?"

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I finally found the theater
and took my seat

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just in time to watch my little niece
cheer her way to victory.

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DAVE: Thank you, Robin Thede.

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- Straight boys, I hope you heard her,

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because now our wise queen John
will begin his line of questioning.

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Mr. Lovett.

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- Question number one,

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who asked the question,
"Who cares if you die on this thing?"

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[buzzer]
- Max.

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- Some guy's husband in the line
of Full Throttle?

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- You're very close,
but you did not hear me.

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MATT: Oh!
- The correct answer was "someone."

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ROBIN: Yeah, yeah. [laughter]

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- Yes, these details are very important.

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- Max.

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Pay--pay attention.

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- Your next question.

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- What was the name
of the dangerous ride Robin

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JOHN: Walked past?
- Matt.

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- The ride was Full Throttle.

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- You did hear me.

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[overlapping chatter, applause]

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- We have some good listeners!

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- I don't think you saw the dance,
but can I just--

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this is hard for me to do--
I'm gonna take five points away from Max.

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- Okay, that's right,
and you are entitled to do that.

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- I just--I don't that--I don't like it.

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- Yeah.
- Let's go on to your final question.

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- How long did it take Robin
to get into the park?

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- Will.
- 45 minutes.

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- You did hear me!

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[whooping, applause, chatter]

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VONZELL: ♪ Yeah-eah-ah ♪

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- Boys, it is now time for you...

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ALL: To make an entrance!

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DAVE: Oh, serving the Christianity...

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MATT: The body of Christ!
DAVE: Are we getting...

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[cheers and applause]

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Is that Jude Law herself?

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That--oh, my word!

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Honest to God,

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thank you!

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[western music]

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DAVE: Oh, is this some sort of
Wild West moment?

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Here's Will Miles... the Wild, Wild West!

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MATT: Oh, a tumbleweed!

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DAVE: Yes, perfect. Rope that thing!

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MATT: Yes!

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Right 'em, cowboy!

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- These tumbleweeds were found
on the 101.

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[laughter]

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John, let's go to you.

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That entrance--how are you feeling?

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- Um, I'm feeling a lot of things,

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uh, there is excitement,

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there's pride.
- Yes.

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- I'm not gonna lie.

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At least 10 to 15%...
straight up attraction.

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- Yeah, there's a lot of arousal...
- And that's really important too

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and it's worth highlighting.
- Yeah.

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- I've never been prouder of Max
in my life.

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- He [indistinct].

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- Robin Thedes, how are you feeling?

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- Yes, it takes a lot of talent
to be the original gay, a cowboy.

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- Mm-hmm.
- The point is

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is that a black man came out
with a rope and committed to a bit.

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You crossed a lot of barriers just...
- I did, right?

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- Just personally,
to be able to make that happen.

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I'm just really proud of you.

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No shade, but anybody
can come out and strip.

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[applause]

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- ♪ The crowning ♪

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- Gentlemen, tonight you've undergone
a transformation

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that rivals that of Anne Hathaway
in "The Princess Diaries."

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[laughter]

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- And now, the winner of "Gayme Show"

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named honorarily gay as fuck
and Queen of the Straights is...

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BOTH: Max Silvestri!

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[cheers and applause]

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[electronic dance music]

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- Take your scepter.

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VONZELL: ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

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♪ The Gayme Show! ♪

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- See you next time, and...

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BOTH: JoJo Siwa!

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[bright music]

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VONZELL: ♪ The Gayme Show! ♪