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Two straight men

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But only one will win

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Gayme Show!

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Hello, and JoJo Siwa, everyone.

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Yes, JoJo Siwa, which in this house means
"peace be with you."

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Yes, I'm your host, Matt Rogers.

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And to piggyback off that,
I'm also your host, Dave Mizzoni.

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And this is "Gayme Show!,"

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where we take two straight contestants
and put them head-to-head

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to see which one of them
will be named honorarily...

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Gay as fuck!

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And will reign forevermore
as Queen of the Straights.

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Oh, yeah

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Before we meet our straights,
let's get to know their lifelines,

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or as we call them, life partners.

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First up, it's our wise queer.
Please welcome John Lovett.

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And now the woman who gets it–
it's Robin Thede!

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And with that,
we're ready to meet the straights.

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- Release them!
- Go.

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Max Silvestri once built a deck
with his dad.

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Will Miles watches "In Bruges,"
"Fight Club," and "The Big Lebowski"

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whenever they're on TV.

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Celebrity essences

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Contestants will now be given
three different clues

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which, when combined, will form
the essence of a particular celebrity.

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Your clues are...

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The top of the food chain...

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Harvard Business School.

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Online classes count.

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And bursting out of your own
birthday cake.

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It's all about her.
Contestants, deliberate.

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So we got the concept
of being on top of the food chain,

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Harvard Business School,

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bursting out of your own birthday cake.

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Robin and Will.

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We think it's...

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- Tyra Banks.
- Tyra Banks.

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What got us to Tyra Banks?

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So top of the food chain, obviously,
supermodel number one.

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She went to Harvard Business,

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but it was, like,
the night-school version, I think.

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And Will thinks he remembers her
jumping out of a cake.

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- I feel like I do.
- All a bunch of fun stuff.

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What about John and Max?

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- It took a bit to get to our final.
- That's clear.

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We landed on Gwyneth Paltrow
because she's–

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you know, couldn't be a richer,
more successful businessperson.

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- Couldn't be more.
- She's got an Oscar.

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- Okay, John, are you behind this?

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- He has a feminine energy, so...
- Yes!

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I am with him...

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a hundred percent.

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- Yes, okay, great.
- I love that.

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Dave will now reveal the answer.

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Go on ahead, Dave.

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Would you believe it's Tyra Banks?

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Yeah

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If you're going to be an ally
to this community,

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you must be a listener.

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Robin Thede will now deliver
a detailed story about her life or week.

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Based on that story,
our straights will answer

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a series of questions to determine

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whether or not they've truly heard her

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in a game we call...

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Hear Her!

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Hear Her! Hear Her!

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Robin Thede, the floor is yours.

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- And, babe, we're gonna hear you.
- Thank you so much.

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All right, over the weekend,
I went to see my eight-year-old niece's

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cheerleading competition
at Six Flags Magic Mountain.

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Even though I got there early,
it took 45 minutes to get inside the park

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because everyone around me
was incompetent!

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At one point,
I passed a ride called Full Throttle,

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where I heard someone saying, "Who cares
if you could die on this thing?"

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I finally found the theater
and took my seat

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just in time to watch my little niece
cheer her way to victory.

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Thank you, Robin Thede.

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Straight boys, I hope you heard her,

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because now our wise queer, John,
will begin his line of questioning.

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Mr. Lovett.

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Question number one,

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who asked the question,
"Who cares if you die on this thing?"

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Max.

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Some guy's husband in the line
of Full Throttle?

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You're very close,
but you did not hear me.

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Yes, the correct answer was "someone."

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yes, these details are very important.

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Max.

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Pay attention.

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Your next question.

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What was the name
of the dangerous ride Robin–

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Max.

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The ride was Full Throttle.

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You did hear me.

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We have some good listeners!

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I don't think you saw the dance,
but can I just–

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This is hard for me to do.
I'm gonna take five points away from Max.

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Okay, that's right,
and you are entitled to do that.

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I don't like that. I don't like it.

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- Yeah.
- Let's go on to your final question.

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How long did it take Robin
to get into the park?

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- Will.
- 45 minutes.

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You did hear me!

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Yeah

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Boys, it is now time for you...

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To make an entrance!

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Oh, serving the Christianity...

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- The body of Christ!
- Are we getting...

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A tear-away!

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Is that Jude Law herself?

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Oh, my word!

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Honest to God,

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thank you!

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A-frickin'-men!

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Oh, is this some sort of Wild West moment?

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Here's Will Miles. The Wild, Wild West!

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Oh, a tumbleweed!

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Yes, perfect. Rope that thing!

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Yes!

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Ride 'em, cowboy!

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These tumbleweeds were found on the 101.

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John, let's go to you.

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That entrance–how are you feeling?

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I'm feeling a lot of things.

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There is excitement.

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- There's pride.
- Yes.

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I'm not gonna lie.

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At least 10% to 15%
straight-up attraction.

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- Yeah, there's a lot of arousal...
- And that's really important, too.

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- And it's worth highlighting.
- Yeah.

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I've never been prouder of Max in my life.

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He Vati-can get it.

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Robin Thede, how are you feeling?

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Yes, it takes a lot of talent
to be the original gay, a cowboy.

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- Mm-hmm.
- The point is,

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is that a black man came out
with a rope and committed to a bit.

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- You crossed a lot of barriers just...
- I did, right?

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Just personally
to be able to make that happen.

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I'm just really proud of you.

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No shade, but anybody
can come out and strip.

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The crowning

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Gentlemen, tonight you've undergone
a transformation

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that rivals that of Anne Hathaway
in "The Princess Diaries."

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And now, the winner of "Gayme Show!,"

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named honorarily gay as fuck
and Queen of the Straights is...

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Max Silvestri!

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Take your scepter.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

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"The Gayme Show!"

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See you next time, and...

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JoJo Siwa!

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"The Gayme Show!"