1
00:00:07,354 --> 00:00:09,359
So first I dreamt
I was riding a pony.

2
00:00:09,361 --> 00:00:11,350
Woah! Then what happened?

3
00:00:11,352 --> 00:00:13,354
Then I dreamt I was a pony!

4
00:00:13,356 --> 00:00:16,348
Oh, my goodness.
You have such a creative mind.

5
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,364
Oh, you're my big girl, Augie.

6
00:00:17,366 --> 00:00:19,352
Oh, thanks, Dad.

7
00:00:19,354 --> 00:00:21,363
Oh. How old is your baby?

8
00:00:21,365 --> 00:00:24,344
She's 132 months old.

9
00:00:24,346 --> 00:00:25,352
That's 11 years.

10
00:00:25,354 --> 00:00:26,363
How precious...

11
00:00:26,365 --> 00:00:28,344
and weird.

12
00:00:28,346 --> 00:00:29,351
Okay, time to walk.

13
00:00:29,353 --> 00:00:31,353
Okay, but what do we do first?

14
00:00:31,355 --> 00:00:32,356
Fifty kisses.

15
00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:39,355
Get your grilled
witches cheese.

16
00:00:39,357 --> 00:00:41,357
Hot, fresh, and good to eat.

17
00:00:41,359 --> 00:00:45,350
Oh, oh, oh. Can I go get one
by myself? Please?

18
00:00:45,352 --> 00:00:46,360
By yourself?

19
00:00:46,362 --> 00:00:48,367
Oh, I don't know, honey.
That's, like, ten feet away.

20
00:00:49,345 --> 00:00:51,347
Dad, don't worry. I've got it.

21
00:00:51,349 --> 00:00:54,360
-Plus I'll wear my
extra special safety helmet.
-[siren blaring]

22
00:00:54,362 --> 00:00:56,352
Okay, be careful, babygirl.

23
00:00:56,354 --> 00:00:58,347
Hey, you, watch out for my
daughter, she's walking there.

24
00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,351
Okay. Yeah. Okay, okay.

25
00:00:59,353 --> 00:01:00,361
You get
the sandwich, all right.

26
00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:02,354
All right, now it's hot.
Now you blow on it, okay.

27
00:01:02,356 --> 00:01:04,363
Okay. Well, she's behind
enemy lines in there, okay.

28
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,352
Come back to Daddy.

29
00:01:06,354 --> 00:01:08,352
You come back to Daddy.
Three steps more, three steps.

30
00:01:08,354 --> 00:01:09,366
Oh! Oh, I got you. I got you.

31
00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:11,362
Oh, you were away
for so long. Oh.

32
00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:12,359
[smooches]

33
00:01:12,361 --> 00:01:14,363
Oh, I love you so much.

34
00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:17,357
I'm your little
independent woman, huh, Dad?

35
00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:20,344
So then I dreamt I was a pony.

36
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:21,361
You so prolific, Yogi.

37
00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:24,351
Oh, my gosh, Yogi.
I wish I had dreams.

38
00:01:24,353 --> 00:01:26,354
Oh, hey. Doggie Daddy.

39
00:01:26,356 --> 00:01:27,367
Haven't seen you
in a hot minute.

40
00:01:28,345 --> 00:01:29,364
Me and some buds
are getting together tonight

41
00:01:29,366 --> 00:01:31,367
for some bowling.
How's about you join us?

42
00:01:32,345 --> 00:01:33,353
Yeah, I love bowling.

43
00:01:33,355 --> 00:01:35,356
Back in college,
they called me Ten-pin Daddy.

44
00:01:35,358 --> 00:01:37,353
Yeah, Augie and I
will see you there.

45
00:01:37,355 --> 00:01:39,356
[coughing]

46
00:01:39,358 --> 00:01:41,350
The cheese made me phlegmy.

47
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:46,354
Actually, this a grown-ups only
type thing.

48
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:49,344
You could leave Augie home
with a babysitter.

49
00:01:49,346 --> 00:01:51,349
Leave... Augie?

50
00:01:51,351 --> 00:01:52,358
Eh, I'm not following.

51
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,356
Just get her a babysitter.

52
00:01:54,358 --> 00:01:57,344
Oh! Okay.
So I get a babysitter,

53
00:01:57,346 --> 00:01:59,364
and then you bring her
with me and Augie bowling.

54
00:01:59,366 --> 00:02:01,355
-[buzzing]
-Uh, no, not all together.

55
00:02:01,357 --> 00:02:03,353
So I stay home with Augie

56
00:02:03,355 --> 00:02:05,347
while the babysitter
goes bowling?

57
00:02:05,349 --> 00:02:06,359
-[buzzing]
-Leave them home.

58
00:02:06,361 --> 00:02:09,350
Oh, okay. Yeah.
So the babysitter stays home,

59
00:02:09,352 --> 00:02:11,348
-while Augie and I go bowling.
-[buzzing]

60
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,348
Let me clear this up for you,
Doggie Daddy.

61
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,361
Just leave Augie at home
with the babysitter,

62
00:02:15,363 --> 00:02:19,352
and then come bowling with us,
without Augie. Got it?

63
00:02:19,354 --> 00:02:21,349
A night without Augie?

64
00:02:21,351 --> 00:02:22,364
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

65
00:02:22,366 --> 00:02:24,365
You know, I guess there's
a first time for everything.

66
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:26,363
-Great. Now get a move on.
-[Doggie groans]

67
00:02:26,365 --> 00:02:28,366
They don't call you
Daddy for nothing.

68
00:02:29,344 --> 00:02:31,345
Why do they call him Daddy?

69
00:02:31,347 --> 00:02:32,358
Just feels right.

70
00:02:34,357 --> 00:02:36,349
Ah, thanks for
babysitting, Jabberjaw.

71
00:02:36,351 --> 00:02:38,351
My pleasure.
It's a chance to get all that

72
00:02:38,353 --> 00:02:40,351
hot middle school
gossip. [chuckles]

73
00:02:40,353 --> 00:02:42,353
Okay, great. Yeah.
I'll, uh, you know,

74
00:02:42,355 --> 00:02:44,346
I'll leave it to it. Yeah.

75
00:02:44,348 --> 00:02:46,358
Oh, hey. You got my cell number
in case of emergencies, right?

76
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,349
Oh, we're good, Doggie Daddy.

77
00:02:48,351 --> 00:02:50,345
Great. Yeah. Good.
Okay. Yeah. Good.

78
00:02:50,347 --> 00:02:51,363
All right. Leave you to it.
Time to go.

79
00:02:51,365 --> 00:02:55,349
So on the subject of boys,
you best believe I have a list.

80
00:02:55,351 --> 00:02:56,363
Oh, boy talk. Yeah. You know,

81
00:02:56,365 --> 00:02:58,354
I could stay for that,
'cause, I mean,

82
00:02:58,356 --> 00:03:00,345
there's a lot to talk about.
I'm a boy.

83
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,354
Oh, shut your mouth.
Go have a good time.

84
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,362
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right.

85
00:03:03,364 --> 00:03:05,362
I'm walking out the door now.

86
00:03:05,364 --> 00:03:09,354
I'm on my way out
for a night with the grown-ups,

87
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,363
and without my daughter.

88
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,348
Here I go.

89
00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:14,363
One, two...

90
00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:16,362
Hey, guys, look who I brought.

91
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:19,361
It's my grown up
adult friend, Dave.

92
00:03:21,354 --> 00:03:26,360
Uh, adult friend Dave?

93
00:03:26,362 --> 00:03:29,358
He's, uh, he's from
out of town, you know?

94
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,360
He's, he's got a big boy job.

95
00:03:31,362 --> 00:03:32,362
I'm Dave.

96
00:03:34,350 --> 00:03:35,362
[all] Dave!

97
00:03:35,364 --> 00:03:37,360
Yes! Beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful.

98
00:03:37,362 --> 00:03:39,357
[softly] They bought it, they
bought it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

99
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,347
How's you 401k portfolio?

100
00:03:47,349 --> 00:03:48,352
You've got solid investments?

101
00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,355
Yeah, I put all my coins
in a piggy bank.

102
00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:52,349
Saving. That's
really smart, Dave.

103
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,350
Fore!

104
00:03:55,352 --> 00:03:57,351
And then me said kabunga.

105
00:03:57,353 --> 00:03:59,359
But me barely even kawunga.

106
00:03:59,361 --> 00:04:01,344
I hear you, sister.

107
00:04:06,349 --> 00:04:07,360
Oh, great job, honey.

108
00:04:10,357 --> 00:04:12,361
Uh...

109
00:04:12,363 --> 00:04:16,352
Uh, I kiss all my adult friends
when they're successful.

110
00:04:16,354 --> 00:04:17,359
Well, I'm a doctor.

111
00:04:17,361 --> 00:04:18,364
Yeah, he's a doctor.

112
00:04:18,366 --> 00:04:20,364
What's more successful
than that?

113
00:04:25,346 --> 00:04:25,366
[retching]

114
00:04:26,362 --> 00:04:28,355
Me successful caveman.

115
00:04:28,357 --> 00:04:30,345
I'm a successful businesswoman.

116
00:04:30,347 --> 00:04:31,350
I have a bowtie.

117
00:04:31,352 --> 00:04:33,346
[all] Where's our kisses?

118
00:04:33,348 --> 00:04:34,366
Oh, well, look at the time.
You know, it's,

119
00:04:35,344 --> 00:04:36,364
it's Dave's bed time.
Good night, everybody.

120
00:04:36,366 --> 00:04:38,364
Bed time? Look at this guy.

121
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:42,344
Does he look like a guy
that goes to bed early?

122
00:04:42,346 --> 00:04:43,360
Uh, no.

123
00:04:43,362 --> 00:04:47,350
He's a real man, and real men,
they, they stay up all night.

124
00:04:47,352 --> 00:04:49,344
Actually, I think
they close at ten.

125
00:04:49,346 --> 00:04:51,347
We're gonna
rock this place till ten!

126
00:04:51,349 --> 00:04:53,362
Drop the ball!

127
00:04:53,364 --> 00:04:56,358
[all] Rock till ten.
Rock till ten.

128
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,349
Rock till ten. Rock till ten.

129
00:04:59,351 --> 00:05:01,345
Rock till ten.

130
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:06,350
Well, that was
the worst night of my life.

131
00:05:06,352 --> 00:05:07,356
But it's over.

132
00:05:07,358 --> 00:05:09,347
So long, Dave.

133
00:05:09,349 --> 00:05:11,366
Honeybunches,
breakfast is ready.

134
00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:13,356
There's my baby girl.

135
00:05:14,352 --> 00:05:15,355
[dramatic music playing]

136
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,367
[gasps] What is Dave
doing here?

137
00:05:18,345 --> 00:05:19,349
The gang from last night

138
00:05:19,351 --> 00:05:21,352
invited Dave
out to brunch today.

139
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,365
-Bye, Daddy.
-Brunch?

140
00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:29,350
[speaking incomprehensibly]

141
00:05:29,352 --> 00:05:30,364
Dave's going to
an estate sale with the gang.

142
00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:31,364
Estate sale?

143
00:05:31,366 --> 00:05:33,361
[speaking incomprehensibly]

144
00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:35,351
Dave's going out for tapas.

145
00:05:35,353 --> 00:05:38,359
Tapas?
[speaking incomprehensibly]

146
00:05:38,361 --> 00:05:41,347
Dave's going to watch
football at Tony's.

147
00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:44,365
Augie? She's gone.

148
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:47,354
I've lost my only daughter.

149
00:05:47,356 --> 00:05:49,357
All because of...

150
00:05:49,359 --> 00:05:54,346
Dave!

151
00:05:54,366 --> 00:05:57,354
[screaming] Dave!

152
00:05:57,356 --> 00:06:00,363
[panting]

153
00:06:00,365 --> 00:06:03,345
[screaming] Dave!

154
00:06:04,356 --> 00:06:08,347
-Duck. Duck. Goose.
-[both laughing]

155
00:06:08,349 --> 00:06:10,351
I'm gonna get you, Dave.

156
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:13,352
Gosh, Dave, you got
real limber knees for an adult.

157
00:06:13,354 --> 00:06:15,348
[clanking]

158
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:18,349
Everybody, I've got
an announcement.

159
00:06:18,351 --> 00:06:19,362
-Dave!
-That's me.

160
00:06:19,364 --> 00:06:21,366
I realize that before today

161
00:06:22,344 --> 00:06:24,365
my life was like
a bowl of sugar cereal.

162
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,355
Sweet, crunchy,

163
00:06:26,357 --> 00:06:28,352
and full of all those
weird marshmallows

164
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:29,355
that aren't soft at all.

165
00:06:29,357 --> 00:06:31,348
And then suddenly I realize

166
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:35,344
that one of those marshmallows
was not a marshmallow.

167
00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:36,365
It was a boogah.

168
00:06:36,367 --> 00:06:39,359
A boogah named Dave
in my cereal.

169
00:06:39,361 --> 00:06:41,352
And you try to get
the little boogah out.

170
00:06:41,354 --> 00:06:43,363
But you can't. You can't.
It sticks to the side.

171
00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:45,352
And you try to flick it,

172
00:06:45,354 --> 00:06:46,365
and you try to grab it
with the spoon, but the boogah,

173
00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:48,364
it just keeps going round
and round and round.

174
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,365
And then suddenly
you've got a whole cereal

175
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,356
that's been contaminated
by a stinky little boogah.

176
00:06:53,358 --> 00:06:54,364
So, in summation,

177
00:06:54,366 --> 00:06:58,344
I am not gonna slurp down
this boogah serial

178
00:06:58,346 --> 00:07:00,357
and pretend
like everything's okay.

179
00:07:02,351 --> 00:07:06,360
Dave, I challenge you
to Hock Mar!

180
00:07:06,362 --> 00:07:08,347
-[gasping]
-Hock Mar?

181
00:07:11,352 --> 00:07:12,367
What's Hock Mar?

182
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:15,356
<i>Since the dawn of civilization,</i>

183
00:07:15,358 --> 00:07:18,366
<i>adults have needed a way</i>
<i>to settle disputes</i>

184
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,354
<i>through Gigantigolf bowling!</i>

185
00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:24,357
<i>Two contestants enter.</i>
<i>Both leave.</i>

186
00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:27,350
<i>I mean, no one gets hurt.</i>
<i>This is just a game.</i>

187
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,360
Dave, I'm going to lay this out
like a blanket on a baby.

188
00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:35,347
If I win, you're going to
take that mustache

189
00:07:35,349 --> 00:07:37,352
and put it straight in
that Dave grave

190
00:07:37,354 --> 00:07:38,362
that I dug over there.

191
00:07:38,364 --> 00:07:41,359
And if I lose,
I'll go live in that Dave grave

192
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:44,352
next to the Dave grave
that I also dug.

193
00:07:44,354 --> 00:07:45,361
Do we have a deal?

194
00:07:45,363 --> 00:07:47,351
Okay, I'll do my best.

195
00:07:47,353 --> 00:07:49,361
[upbeat music playing]

196
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,346
[roaring]

197
00:08:09,361 --> 00:08:11,348
[birds screeching]

198
00:08:30,355 --> 00:08:31,367
Woah! The final lane.

199
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,367
It's worth
a hundred thousand points.

200
00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:35,349
Shunga wunga.

201
00:08:36,366 --> 00:08:37,362
[grunts]

202
00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:41,366
Ah, that was
a really nice throw, Dave.

203
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:43,350
Oh, thanks.

204
00:08:43,352 --> 00:08:46,349
No! That was sarcasm.
You were really bad.

205
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:49,347
And guess what, Dave?
I don't want you here.

206
00:08:49,349 --> 00:08:51,362
I don't like you.
Because you know why?

207
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,350
You stole my daughter from me.

208
00:08:53,352 --> 00:08:55,348
Doggie Daddy seem like
he working through

209
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:56,358
some personal issues.

210
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,350
Why don't you just call
a rideshare and go home?

211
00:08:59,352 --> 00:09:02,365
I wish I had
never brought you along!

212
00:09:03,354 --> 00:09:05,360
[crying]

213
00:09:05,362 --> 00:09:07,363
Oh, no, sweetie,
I wasn't talking to you.

214
00:09:07,365 --> 00:09:09,348
I was talking to Dave.

215
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:10,361
I, uh, thought that was clear

216
00:09:10,363 --> 00:09:13,348
in the way I was
angrily addressing him.

217
00:09:13,350 --> 00:09:14,362
I didn't want to
have to say this,

218
00:09:14,364 --> 00:09:17,351
but you're being
a real boogah in the cereal.

219
00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:19,350
Me?

220
00:09:19,352 --> 00:09:20,363
The boogah?

221
00:09:20,365 --> 00:09:21,364
Oh, my gosh.

222
00:09:21,366 --> 00:09:23,355
I'm no Ten-pin Daddy,

223
00:09:23,357 --> 00:09:24,366
I've been behaving

224
00:09:25,344 --> 00:09:27,344
like a ten-pin doodie.

225
00:09:27,346 --> 00:09:29,360
I don't deserve this victory.

226
00:09:31,351 --> 00:09:33,358
[upbeat music playing]

227
00:09:44,361 --> 00:09:46,351
Doggie Daddy broke a light.

228
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,346
According to the rules
of Hock Mar,

229
00:09:48,348 --> 00:09:50,351
that's an instant
disqualification.

230
00:09:50,353 --> 00:09:52,349
Dave wins!

231
00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:54,344
[all cheering]

232
00:09:54,346 --> 00:09:55,356
[Boo Boo] Yeah!

233
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,356
Well, this is it.

234
00:09:58,358 --> 00:10:00,356
A daddy without his daughter.

235
00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,346
I might as well be dead.

236
00:10:02,348 --> 00:10:04,352
Time to go home, Daddy.

237
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,345
We don't need this anymore.

238
00:10:06,347 --> 00:10:08,345
[gasps] Augie, oh, you're back.

239
00:10:08,347 --> 00:10:10,352
Oh, I thought I was never
going to see you again.

240
00:10:10,354 --> 00:10:12,365
Oh, my little starshine,
I missed you so much.

241
00:10:12,367 --> 00:10:15,353
I know what'll
make you feel better.

242
00:10:15,355 --> 00:10:17,362
Fifty thousand kisses.

243
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:21,348
Oh, my daughter is back.
Oh, she's back.

244
00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,344
Hey, you guys seen Dave?

245
00:10:24,346 --> 00:10:27,351
We were supposed to go out
for some shabu-shabu.

246
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:30,361
[theme music playing]