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[narrator] Every 90 seconds,
someone is reported missing.
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Many return to their families,
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but for others,
something has gone seriously wrong.
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A 31-year-old mother of three
has disappeared from home.
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[Joanne] She wouldn't have
gone without telling anybody
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and just left the children.
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[narrator] A family is destroyed.
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The kids have no idea what was going on.
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They literally left their house
with a carrier bag each of possessions.
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[narrator] What happens
in the police investigation that follows?
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We had a significant development
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where one of the children
describes hearing a very loud bang.
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[narrator] What happens
to the family at its heart?
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[Dr. Smith] One of the most common
phrases said by killers is,
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"If I can't have you, no one can."
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[narrator reading]
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[Joanne] Natalie was very like me.
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{\an8}She was quite loud, outspoken,
quite bossy. [laughs]
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But in equal measure,
very caring, very kind.
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Anything she could do
to help you, she would.
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{\an8}When Natalie was born,
I was five years old,
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{\an8}so… I kind of told my mum
to take her back to the hospital,
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that I didn't want her. [laughs]
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But as growing up,
we argued like sisters do,
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over silly little things.
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But as we got older,
we were really close friends.
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[Joanne] And Natalie
got away with all sorts
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because she was the youngest.
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All sorts, things that
we didn't get away with.
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Yeah, she was, um,
she was a monkey. [laughs]
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[narrator] 31-year-old Natalie
is a mother of one
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when she meets Paul Hemming
in her local supermarket.
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Natalie and Paul's relationship
seemed to move very fast.
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She was only with him a few months,
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and then she was already
starting to stay at his house
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with her daughter.
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Um, within six months,
she'd moved in to his property with him.
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[Joanne] I first met Paul at the house
that he owned in Kings Langley.
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It was a really odd encounter.
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Normally, you'd kind of greet somebody
that you've been, you know,
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"Oh, hi, nice to meet you."
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But he was very, kind of, standoffish
and he just went,
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"I just need to go and get changed,"
and then disappeared up the stairs.
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From the outside looking in,
he was the full package.
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He had the good job,
the nice house, the nice car,
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you know, good looking guy,
personality, charming.
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So, he looked like
the full deal sort of thing.
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[narrator] Natalie and Paul
have two children together,
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a son and a daughter.
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Family life is one of extremes.
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The relationship was always,
what I would call, turbulent.
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[Kerry] Mum and Paul always seemed to…
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I think she was civil to him
for Natalie's sake.
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But I think there was
always something niggling
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in the back of mum's head
when it came to Paul.
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[Joanne] He would do odd things,
like he would…
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He didn't attend the children's,
his own children's christening.
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They were supposed to be getting married,
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and he canceled everything
without telling her
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and she knew nothing about it.
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[narrator] Dr. Jane Monckton Smith is
a former police officer and criminologist
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specializing in homicide,
violence and coercive control.
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[Dr. Smith] We all try and control
each other a little bit.
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But coercive control is different.
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{\an8}It takes things to a whole new level.
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{\an8}And it's one person
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{\an8}controlling nearly all
the actions or activities
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of the other person in the relationship.
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And you find yourself
being controlled with your consent.
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So, it doesn't feel,
in those early stages,
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as if there's anything wrong.
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Paul kept promising to marry Natalie,
but never did.
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Dangling that carrot all the time
gives him an awful lot of power
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because if he ever feels
like he's losing control,
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he can pull that out the bag.
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He can say, "Let's get married,
let's get married, let's do it."
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But if he gets married,
he hasn't got that.
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He's hasn't got that power anymore.
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[narrator] In 2007,
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an argument between Natalie
and Paul gets physical.
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[Kerry] It was probably only within
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the first six months
of their relationship.
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He threw a mobile phone
and it hit Natalie on the head.
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He reluctantly took her
to a hospital eventually.
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But he told her that
she wasn't to tell anybody
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of how the injuries occurred and stuff.
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But eventually, she did
report that one to the police.
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But she kind of seemed to downplay it
so that he wasn't doing anything wrong,
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so that I don't think any of us
would think that he was doing that.
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I knew there had been
some reports to the police,
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but she was very cagey
about what she told me.
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We know about some incidents
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where she was assaulted by Paul,
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so we know that there was violence
going on in that relationship.
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We don't know how much
because so much of it was hidden.
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But the control and the violence
go hand in hand in this case.
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[Kerry] To be fair,
I don't think I ever thought
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Natalie and Paul were in
that kind of relationship.
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Don't get me wrong, I did think
sometimes he was a bit odd
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with the way that he would act.
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But I don't think you ever
want to think that
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a member of your family
is in a relationship like…
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I don't think I ever really thought
there was anything like that going on.
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Yes, there was arguments and stuff,
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but what relationships
don't have arguments?
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[Dr. Smith]
Paul and Natalie's relationship
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would appear to have looked
fairly normal on the outside
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because a lot of this control was hidden.
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And I think Natalie hid very well
how unhappy that she was.
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It was only up until
the last year in their relationship
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when I know that he was checking
her phone a lot more and stuff.
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There was another incident
where he'd thrown a bottle.
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The police then took Natalie
and her two younger children.
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And I think they went to mum's as well
for a small period of time.
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But again, she went back.
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[narrator] In 2013,
Natalie flees to Yorkshire
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with her three children.
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Her sister lives in the area.
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I started to realize that
something was very wrong
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when my sister moved up here.
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I think that was the first time
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that I'd spent a lot of time
with her away from him.
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And she started to talk about things
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that perhaps just didn't make sense.
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She decided that
she needed to get away from it all.
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But he followed her,
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turned up on the doorstep.
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To start with, it was just like
he would turn up
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at the weekends and it would be,
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"Oh, I've just come to see the kids."
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And then it got, like, every weekend
that he would turn up.
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[Joanne] He followed her up here
and sort of fed her
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the same stories of, "We'll get married,
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we'll move house, I'll change jobs,"
we'll do this, we'll do that.
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And she believed him as she always does,
and off she went.
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[Kerry] Jo said to her,
"I've done all I can do.
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I can't help you anymore if you go back."
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At the point she went back down
to Milton Keynes,
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I was absolutely gutted
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because everybody had, sort of,
moved mountains almost
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to get her moved up here, to get her away,
to give her a fresh start.
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And I told her, I said at the time,
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"If you dance with the devil,
you're going to get burned."
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And she was adamant she was going back.
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What can you do?
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[Kerry] Natalie would talk to me about
some of the stuff that was going on,
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but she would never say properly
what had gone on.
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She was very careful about
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who she would talk to
about certain things.
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I think one of the things
that really confuses people
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is why don't victims just leave?
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Why don't they walk out the door
and just leave these people?
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The most dangerous time
for any victim of control
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is when they attempt to leave.
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If there has been control,
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even just low level pushing,
shoving type of violence,
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and then there's a separation,
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the risk of homicide is raised by 900%.
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[narrator] It's 2016,
and Natalie Hemming finally decides
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to leave her controlling
and violent partner, Paul.
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She had said to me that
she had finally made that decision,
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and they were over.
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They'd made the decision themselves
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'cause he was looking
for a flat in Watford.
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He was trying to help her find a property
for her and the children.
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And then the house
that they had in Milton Keynes,
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they were gonna rent.
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She was a completely different person.
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It was like this huge weight
had just been lifted off of her.
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She was smiling, she was happy
and she was so positive.
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And I genuinely believed
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that she was going to leave him this time
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because everything was being planned.
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She was saying, "It's completely amicable.
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We've both decided that
we can't go on like this,
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and we're going our separate ways."
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And she just seemed really focused
about where she was going.
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I totally believe that she was…
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That was it,
that they were both moving on.
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It really just felt like
it was a new chapter.
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She was starting afresh,
it was a new story, a new start.
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And she was "get onwards and upwards".
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That was what she said to me,
"Onwards and upwards."
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[narrator] 31-year-old mother
of three, Natalie Hemming,
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has decided to leave
her controlling and violent partner, Paul.
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She's forming a new relationship
with a colleague.
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Natalie had got very close
with someone at work.
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{\an8}She'd said that they were
just friends, you know,
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{\an8}and he would bring her
a drink or whatever.
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And I don't think she wanted any of us
to know what was going on
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because obviously
she didn't want Paul to know.
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But as far as she was concerned,
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she wasn't in the wrong
because their relationship was over.
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[narrator] Natalie drops
her three children off at her mum's house
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before going on their first date.
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Natalie's youngest wasn't settling,
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so mum rang Paul to collect her.
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When he came, he noticed that
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Natalie's car was still parked
in mum's street
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because he'd picked her up,
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this guy that she'd gone out with.
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But as far as mum was concerned,
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that night, Natalie was
going out with work friends.
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She didn't know either until the next day
when she came home.
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So, she just said,
"Well, her friends have picked her up.
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She's left her car here,
she's gone out to have a drink."
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[narrator] The next day,
Natalie returns to her mum's house
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to pick up her children,
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and then goes back to the family home.
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Mum tried to ring that night
to make sure she was okay,
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but there was no answer.
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I got a phone call from my mum
on the Tuesday.
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She said, "I can't get a hold of Natalie."
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And I said, "She's at work, Mum.
She'll ring you when she finishes."
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{\an8}She went, "No, you don't understand.
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{\an8}I haven't been able to
get a hold of her for two days."
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{\an8}At which point, I just…
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My stomach did a somersault.
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And I was like, "What do you mean?"
Because Natalie always had a phone on her.
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And if she couldn't answer it
straight away,
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she'd ping you a text saying
"ring you tonight" or whatever.
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But she would always respond.
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[narrator] Natalie's mum, Margaret,
is growing increasingly concerned.
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My cousin, Simon,
who'd pop around to see my mum,
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he goes, "We'll just go over and just see.
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We'll go to the house,
we'll just go check. It'll be fine."
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So, go over to the house,
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and my sister's car was on the driveway,
his car was there.
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They were knocking,
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they could see him in the house,
but he wouldn't answer.
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He kind of opened the door a little bit
and wouldn't let them in.
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And Simon just kind of pushed his way in
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and said, "I need the toilet,"
kind of thing,
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and had a quick scout around.
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He sort of fed my mum this story
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00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:52,123
that Natalie had gone away
for a few days with friends.
237
00:12:52,203 --> 00:12:54,043
And my mum said,
"Well, what, without her car?"
238
00:12:54,123 --> 00:12:57,243
Even if she hadn't told
my mum or Kerry or me,
239
00:12:57,323 --> 00:13:01,123
she would have told somebody
where she was going,
240
00:13:01,203 --> 00:13:04,403
and she would have asked them
to keep an eye on the children.
241
00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:06,523
That that was the thing for me.
242
00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:08,963
She just wouldn't have gone away
without telling anybody
243
00:13:09,043 --> 00:13:11,923
and just left the children.
It just would never have happened.
244
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:18,363
Every fiber in my body was just telling me
something was so wrong with the situation.
245
00:13:18,443 --> 00:13:20,603
I just said,
"Mum, you need to ring the police."
246
00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:23,083
-[indistinct radio chatter]
-[siren wailing]
247
00:13:23,163 --> 00:13:27,123
{\an8}The call was quite poignant
in terms of the call to the control room.
248
00:13:27,203 --> 00:13:30,243
{\an8}And one of the questions that was asked
of Natalie's mother was,
249
00:13:30,323 --> 00:13:33,323
"Why are you so concerned?"
250
00:13:33,403 --> 00:13:36,603
And, "Is there anybody in particular
you're concerned about?"
251
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:40,243
And she was very much of the opinion
that it had something to do with Paul.
252
00:13:40,323 --> 00:13:43,643
So from quite early on, there was concerns
253
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,283
about his involvement
in the disappearance of Natalie.
254
00:13:46,363 --> 00:13:50,283
[DCI Simon Steele] One of the inquiries
would be to ask family members
255
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,283
{\an8}when they last saw Natalie,
where had they been.
256
00:13:53,363 --> 00:13:55,163
{\an8}And what we did know is
from Margaret Hammond,
257
00:13:55,243 --> 00:14:00,003
{\an8}is Natalie left around midafternoon
on the 1st of May.
258
00:14:00,843 --> 00:14:05,523
Paul Hemming said she arrived home
in the afternoon around four o'clock.
259
00:14:05,603 --> 00:14:09,963
He then said she left
the house later that night.
260
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,763
[Joanne] The police actually
went round to the property
261
00:14:13,843 --> 00:14:17,083
to go and speak to Paul that same evening.
262
00:14:18,043 --> 00:14:21,923
At that point, we were all
trying to ring Natalie's phone,
263
00:14:22,003 --> 00:14:24,563
using social media,
we were on social media.
264
00:14:24,643 --> 00:14:27,643
"Has anybody seen or heard from her?
Please get in touch."
265
00:14:27,723 --> 00:14:30,003
[Steele] Key line of inquiry
is a proof of life.
266
00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:34,123
And there is numbers of inquiries
from mobile phones,
267
00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:37,803
to financial, to store cards,
268
00:14:37,883 --> 00:14:39,563
which would be carried out
269
00:14:39,643 --> 00:14:42,363
'cause most of us leave
a footprint somewhere.
270
00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:45,363
And what happened obviously with Natalie,
271
00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:48,763
there was no footprint of Natalie
272
00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:53,323
since returning home afternoon, evening,
on the Sunday, 1st of May.
273
00:14:53,403 --> 00:14:57,363
And for a mum with three children,
just to disappear,
274
00:14:57,443 --> 00:14:59,083
and certainly, in the case of Natalie,
275
00:14:59,163 --> 00:15:01,443
a loving mother,
was completely out of character.
276
00:15:01,523 --> 00:15:05,363
A day later, the police
then all did searches on
277
00:15:05,443 --> 00:15:07,843
mine, Jo's, and my mum's houses,
278
00:15:07,923 --> 00:15:11,963
just to make sure Natalie
hadn't gone away to be with any of us.
279
00:15:12,843 --> 00:15:15,403
[narrator] Paul Hemming
is questioned by police
280
00:15:15,483 --> 00:15:18,243
and asked to give an account
of his movements.
281
00:15:18,323 --> 00:15:20,043
[Steele] Paul Hemming
had said that evening,
282
00:15:20,123 --> 00:15:23,363
he went upstairs to bed
at around nine o'clock at night.
283
00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:27,083
[Blaik] When he spoke to officers
that initially went to the house
284
00:15:27,163 --> 00:15:29,603
to take the the missing person report,
285
00:15:29,683 --> 00:15:31,283
he was quite evasive
286
00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:35,923
and, um, didn't seem to be particularly
cooperative with the officers.
287
00:15:36,923 --> 00:15:40,083
{\an8}[narrator] It quickly becomes clear
why he's not being helpful.
288
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:44,043
{\an8}Paul Hemming's car
had left the home address
289
00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:47,323
on that Sunday evening,
about a quarter past 10.
290
00:15:47,403 --> 00:15:49,923
It activated an ANPR camera in Whitchurch.
291
00:15:50,803 --> 00:15:52,683
[narrator] Paul Hemming's
car being picked up
292
00:15:52,763 --> 00:15:55,643
by an automatic number plate
recognition camera
293
00:15:55,723 --> 00:16:00,563
immediately disproves his alibi
that he went to bed at 9:00 p.m.
294
00:16:01,723 --> 00:16:03,203
Police act quickly.
295
00:16:04,083 --> 00:16:06,483
I got a phone call from Simon
296
00:16:06,563 --> 00:16:09,003
and he was just absolutely sobbing,
297
00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,643
saying, "They think
he's done something to her, Jo.
298
00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:13,603
We've got to go and collect the children."
299
00:16:14,323 --> 00:16:16,443
The kids have no idea what was going on.
300
00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:19,763
They literally left the house
because it's a crime scene.
301
00:16:19,843 --> 00:16:24,123
They literally left the house
with a carrier bag each of possessions.
302
00:16:24,203 --> 00:16:25,043
That was it.
303
00:16:25,523 --> 00:16:28,723
A number of those pieces
were put together.
304
00:16:28,803 --> 00:16:30,803
There was a conference
in the middle of the night
305
00:16:30,883 --> 00:16:33,043
and a decision was made
to arrest Paul Hemming.
306
00:16:33,603 --> 00:16:36,283
[Kerry] Paul was arrested
on suspicion of murder.
307
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,163
And Jo rung me and she said,
308
00:16:39,243 --> 00:16:41,603
"We need to get there
'cause the kids are all with mum."
309
00:16:41,683 --> 00:16:44,923
And I just remember Jo saying to me,
310
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:47,523
"But drive safely
'cause I can't lose you, too."
311
00:16:52,723 --> 00:16:55,563
Obviously, I set a number
of key lines of inquiry.
312
00:16:55,643 --> 00:16:58,803
Firstly, I'm conscious
Paul Hemming is in custody.
313
00:16:59,323 --> 00:17:01,883
And we only have
so long with him in custody
314
00:17:01,963 --> 00:17:05,803
before we need to A, release him,
or B, make a decision to charge him.
315
00:17:05,882 --> 00:17:07,323
[Blaik] The challenges were huge.
316
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,243
So we had to deal and manage
the custody process.
317
00:17:10,323 --> 00:17:14,243
And then alongside that, we've obviously
got the ongoing search for Natalie,
318
00:17:14,323 --> 00:17:17,443
trying to understand where she could be,
319
00:17:17,523 --> 00:17:20,443
and trying to try to find her
at the earliest opportunity.
320
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:24,083
It was very quick, from the moment
that it was reported
321
00:17:24,162 --> 00:17:26,723
to the moment he was arrested.
322
00:17:26,803 --> 00:17:30,563
Obviously, my mum was distraught
because she'd just been told that
323
00:17:30,643 --> 00:17:35,563
this guy has been arrested
on suspicion of murder.
324
00:17:35,643 --> 00:17:39,003
You just, you can't believe
what you're hearing.
325
00:17:39,603 --> 00:17:44,363
For the immediate family,
family liaison officers were appointed.
326
00:17:44,443 --> 00:17:47,843
And I appointed them probably within
five minutes of getting the phone call
327
00:17:47,923 --> 00:17:49,723
saying that I have this investigation.
328
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:54,003
And they went round and worked with
Margaret and Natalie's other family.
329
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,963
{\an8}The family was so understanding,
so patient,
330
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,723
{\an8}um, they were just so lovely.
331
00:17:59,803 --> 00:18:02,003
And they did have a little bit of hope,
332
00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:05,803
but they knew, as the days went on
and the hours ticked by,
333
00:18:05,883 --> 00:18:08,083
they were like,
"Something's definitely happened."
334
00:18:08,163 --> 00:18:10,483
But it was almost like
they didn't wanna believe that.
335
00:18:10,563 --> 00:18:12,283
And who does want to believe that?
336
00:18:12,363 --> 00:18:15,843
But for me, I think the challenge,
I think for me, was the children.
337
00:18:15,923 --> 00:18:17,683
-Yeah.
-That was massive for me.
338
00:18:18,563 --> 00:18:21,163
[Steele] It's a huge inquiry,
lots of inquiries going on.
339
00:18:21,243 --> 00:18:22,443
When asked about the vehicle,
340
00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:24,443
he states he had not
been out in the vehicle.
341
00:18:24,523 --> 00:18:29,603
That is effectively
the key part of his account.
342
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,963
It was quite clear on their relationship,
there was a history of domestic abuse.
343
00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:38,483
There was a history of
his controlling behavior.
344
00:18:39,003 --> 00:18:40,923
So, I had a number of hypothesis.
345
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:43,443
One is Natalie's gone
of her own free will.
346
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,723
One hypothesis could've been
Natalie's gone on her own
347
00:18:45,803 --> 00:18:49,243
and something has happened to her
by a third party unknown to her.
348
00:18:49,323 --> 00:18:51,043
But clearly, a hypothesis was
349
00:18:51,123 --> 00:18:55,683
Paul had murdered Natalie
and disposed of Natalie.
350
00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:00,403
[narrator] Natalie is missing.
351
00:19:00,923 --> 00:19:04,563
But evidence is needed if Paul Hemming
is to be charged with murder.
352
00:19:05,163 --> 00:19:07,043
[Steele] Obviously,
one of the lines of inquiry
353
00:19:07,123 --> 00:19:09,843
was to interview some
of Natalie's children.
354
00:19:09,923 --> 00:19:13,483
[narrator] All three of Natalie's children
were upstairs in bed
355
00:19:13,563 --> 00:19:15,443
the night she disappeared.
356
00:19:15,523 --> 00:19:17,963
[Steele] We had a significant development,
357
00:19:18,043 --> 00:19:22,963
where one of the children describes
hearing a very loud bang.
358
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,603
That child goes downstairs
359
00:19:24,683 --> 00:19:27,683
and does look into the living room,
360
00:19:27,763 --> 00:19:31,603
and describes seeing mummy
wrapped in a blanket,
361
00:19:31,683 --> 00:19:37,283
and also describes seeing some sort of pan
or bowl type object.
362
00:19:37,363 --> 00:19:39,923
None of us know exactly what he saw
363
00:19:40,003 --> 00:19:45,003
because he's still very closed
about what happened that night.
364
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,723
He just says that he heard the loud noise,
365
00:19:47,803 --> 00:19:51,043
he went down,
and he saw mummy asleep on the sofa.
366
00:19:52,163 --> 00:19:55,283
And to us, obviously,
we think Natalie was dead at that point.
367
00:19:55,843 --> 00:20:00,643
But we don't know because he just said
that she was covered with a blanket,
368
00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:03,283
and daddy was cleaning up.
369
00:20:03,963 --> 00:20:08,963
To me, that would say that little boy
has seen his mummy dead.
370
00:20:09,043 --> 00:20:13,883
And in years to come,
he is gonna realize what he's seen.
371
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,003
[Blaik] Forensic evidence
was found at the house.
372
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:20,203
There was blood found in the living room,
on the floor and on the coffee table.
373
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:25,163
[Steele] And we have traces of blood
in the boot of the S-MAX.
374
00:20:25,243 --> 00:20:26,723
It was a significant breakthrough,
375
00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:31,523
but sadly, it was a breakthrough
that populated the hypotheses that
376
00:20:31,603 --> 00:20:33,483
Natalie could well have been murdered.
377
00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:43,563
[narrator] Mother of three,
Natalie Hemming,
378
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,603
has been missing for five days.
379
00:20:46,083 --> 00:20:48,883
Thames Valley Police now feel
they've got enough evidence
380
00:20:48,963 --> 00:20:53,723
against her partner, Paul,
to present the case to the CPS.
381
00:20:53,803 --> 00:20:56,003
A lot of the work around
the proof of life statement
382
00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:59,083
was significant in that,
proving those negatives,
383
00:20:59,163 --> 00:21:02,883
that the fact that there has been
a huge change in Natalie's life,
384
00:21:02,963 --> 00:21:04,603
{\an8}which helped her to sway the balance
385
00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:07,643
{\an8}in terms of convincing
the Crown Prosecution Service
386
00:21:07,723 --> 00:21:10,123
{\an8}that this was a murder investigation.
387
00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:12,083
Um, and then on the 6th of May,
388
00:21:12,163 --> 00:21:14,323
he was charged with murder,
with Natalie's murder.
389
00:21:17,683 --> 00:21:20,443
{\an8}The police were very clear with us
390
00:21:20,523 --> 00:21:23,323
{\an8}from the day that
he was remanded in custody.
391
00:21:23,403 --> 00:21:25,723
Simon Steele, who was
chief inspector on the case,
392
00:21:25,803 --> 00:21:29,363
he said, "There's been
no activity on her phone
393
00:21:29,443 --> 00:21:32,603
or any of her bank cards, credit cards.
394
00:21:32,683 --> 00:21:37,043
So, she's either hidden somewhere,
395
00:21:37,123 --> 00:21:39,123
you know, he's put her somewhere,
396
00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:41,443
or she is dead."
397
00:21:41,523 --> 00:21:46,603
And he said, "I think we are
looking at a bodiless murder."
398
00:21:46,683 --> 00:21:47,883
I said…
399
00:21:47,963 --> 00:21:52,163
He said, "I don't think
we will ever find her."
400
00:21:52,243 --> 00:21:57,123
Because it was such a wide area
that he traveled that night in that car.
401
00:21:58,403 --> 00:22:02,163
[Blaik] We knew that his car had
gone out on the Sunday evening
402
00:22:02,243 --> 00:22:03,483
at about quarter past 10,
403
00:22:03,563 --> 00:22:07,283
when it hits an ANPR camera in Whitchurch,
which is on the outskirts of Aylesbury.
404
00:22:07,363 --> 00:22:10,683
We knew that it came back into Aylesbury
at six minutes past midnight.
405
00:22:11,563 --> 00:22:15,003
And we knew the direction of travel,
that it exited Aylesbury.
406
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:18,003
We didn't know, in that hour
and a half period, where it had been.
407
00:22:18,523 --> 00:22:20,523
He'd dodged ANPR cameras.
408
00:22:20,603 --> 00:22:23,243
So, some of the time,
he was picked up by some,
409
00:22:23,323 --> 00:22:27,723
and some he was… on the B-roads
where there was no cameras.
410
00:22:27,803 --> 00:22:31,603
So, you didn't know
the exact routes he'd taken.
411
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:35,723
And he was very clever in that
he took one route to get there,
412
00:22:35,803 --> 00:22:37,803
but a different route to come home,
413
00:22:37,883 --> 00:22:40,483
so that, obviously, you couldn't pick up
414
00:22:40,563 --> 00:22:42,563
the exact place that he'd been.
415
00:22:43,203 --> 00:22:44,923
In terms of the search,
416
00:22:45,003 --> 00:22:48,923
on working on the basis
that Natalie was probably in the car,
417
00:22:49,003 --> 00:22:52,243
in an hour and a half,
you can travel some distance.
418
00:22:52,323 --> 00:22:55,563
So, the actual
search parameters were huge.
419
00:22:56,683 --> 00:23:00,083
[narrator] 40 square miles are covered
in the hunt for Natalie.
420
00:23:00,883 --> 00:23:03,483
The search involves three police forces.
421
00:23:04,203 --> 00:23:05,683
[Blaik] What was unique here was
422
00:23:05,763 --> 00:23:08,723
the fact that we were moving
the search locations,
423
00:23:08,803 --> 00:23:10,003
come sometimes daily.
424
00:23:10,083 --> 00:23:12,723
It was mainly down to
the updates from CCTV
425
00:23:12,803 --> 00:23:16,083
because the CCTV team
were working incredibly hard
426
00:23:16,163 --> 00:23:18,723
trying to not only find the vehicle,
427
00:23:18,803 --> 00:23:22,803
but also, um, eliminate certain routes
that the vehicle could have taken,
428
00:23:22,883 --> 00:23:24,803
having not passed a particular camera,
429
00:23:24,883 --> 00:23:27,483
so it kind of pushes us back
into a certain direction.
430
00:23:27,563 --> 00:23:30,323
Which is why we focused
the searches in those areas.
431
00:23:30,403 --> 00:23:32,963
Part of the search
and trying to understand
432
00:23:33,043 --> 00:23:34,763
where Natalie was likely to be was,
433
00:23:34,843 --> 00:23:37,963
we sought the advice of
other forensic experts,
434
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:39,883
archeology being one of them.
435
00:23:39,963 --> 00:23:42,483
One of the considerations was whether
436
00:23:42,563 --> 00:23:45,483
Natalie could have been
in a shallow grave.
437
00:23:45,563 --> 00:23:48,763
But certainly,
from the expert advice that we got,
438
00:23:48,843 --> 00:23:52,843
around that time in May,
that the ground was particularly hard,
439
00:23:52,923 --> 00:23:57,283
and any shallow grave would have taken
significant amount of time to dig.
440
00:23:57,363 --> 00:24:00,323
So, the thoughts were
that that was unlikely.
441
00:24:00,403 --> 00:24:03,003
{\an8}We would keep getting potential leads.
442
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:07,603
{\an8}And we were all kind of on standby,
we're thinking, "Has she been found?"
443
00:24:07,683 --> 00:24:12,923
{\an8}You're in limbo because
even though he's been arrested,
444
00:24:13,003 --> 00:24:16,043
{\an8}and at this point,
he's been charged and remanded,
445
00:24:18,283 --> 00:24:20,723
there's still that part of you
that wants to believe
446
00:24:20,803 --> 00:24:22,283
that actually it's a mistake,
447
00:24:22,363 --> 00:24:24,243
and that she's gonna
walk through the door,
448
00:24:24,323 --> 00:24:27,603
that it's just a, you know,
the whole thing is just a joke.
449
00:24:27,683 --> 00:24:33,643
You know, you're just living in
this glimmer that actually it's all…
450
00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:35,123
that this can't be real.
451
00:24:36,763 --> 00:24:39,003
[narrator] Three weeks
since Natalie disappeared,
452
00:24:39,083 --> 00:24:43,523
Paul Hemming is still on remand,
charged with her murder.
453
00:24:43,603 --> 00:24:46,603
I've got a phone call from a colleague
to say that a body had been found,
454
00:24:46,683 --> 00:24:49,163
and it was a strong possibility
of being Natalie.
455
00:24:49,243 --> 00:24:53,483
[Steele] He took the initial call
and he contacted me,
456
00:24:53,563 --> 00:24:55,123
then I went back into the office.
457
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:57,403
And the family liaison officers,
458
00:24:57,483 --> 00:24:58,923
{\an8}I briefed them.
459
00:24:59,003 --> 00:25:03,123
{\an8}And they went immediately
to see Margaret, Natalie's mum.
460
00:25:03,203 --> 00:25:07,963
There was a male that had been
mowing his field on a sit-on mower,
461
00:25:08,043 --> 00:25:09,763
and he'd come to the edge line,
462
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:13,203
which was near to some undergrowth
and then the main road.
463
00:25:13,283 --> 00:25:15,763
And he could smell something really bad.
464
00:25:15,843 --> 00:25:19,483
[Blaik] He put his head into the hedge row
'cause the smell that was coming there.
465
00:25:19,563 --> 00:25:23,283
He thought it was likely to have been
something run over by a car.
466
00:25:23,363 --> 00:25:26,083
And when he looked,
he obviously had the grim discovery.
467
00:25:29,163 --> 00:25:32,523
Once we knew that this was
potentially something,
468
00:25:32,603 --> 00:25:35,403
the team discovered
that there was a body there,
469
00:25:35,483 --> 00:25:40,123
which had been face down
in the undergrowth and was naked.
470
00:25:40,203 --> 00:25:42,923
It was paramount that we got
to the family before anything else
471
00:25:43,003 --> 00:25:44,563
because now there was police activity,
472
00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:46,603
it was getting taped off,
the roads were shut.
473
00:25:46,683 --> 00:25:48,723
[Blaik] One of the other parts of it
474
00:25:48,803 --> 00:25:51,883
was around the fact that
there was no clothes with Natalie.
475
00:25:51,963 --> 00:25:56,083
I think the likelihood is that
Paul didn't want her to be identified.
476
00:25:56,163 --> 00:26:00,163
I think the clothing would've given us
that forensic opportunity to identify
477
00:26:00,243 --> 00:26:02,123
who those remains belong to.
478
00:26:02,603 --> 00:26:04,763
I just remember, I checked my phone
479
00:26:04,843 --> 00:26:08,443
and I had a missed call from the FLOs.
480
00:26:09,083 --> 00:26:12,003
And Kerry checked hers at the same point.
481
00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:15,483
And we just looked at each other
and just went, "They found her."
482
00:26:15,563 --> 00:26:19,403
We just knew,
it was just the most odd thing.
483
00:26:19,483 --> 00:26:20,683
Just knew.
484
00:26:20,763 --> 00:26:24,243
[Steele] Natalie had been missing
for three weeks.
485
00:26:24,323 --> 00:26:25,883
And what we didn't know was…
486
00:26:25,963 --> 00:26:28,683
It was quite clear that,
from our search activity at that point,
487
00:26:28,763 --> 00:26:31,523
that was the initial deposition site.
488
00:26:31,603 --> 00:26:34,003
So, Natalie hadn't been
subsequently moved.
489
00:26:34,083 --> 00:26:38,323
It was quite clear that…
where Natalie was found
490
00:26:38,403 --> 00:26:41,003
was where he left Natalie.
491
00:26:41,083 --> 00:26:44,043
At that point, they were fairly confident
that it was Natalie.
492
00:26:45,083 --> 00:26:48,323
But obviously, they wouldn't
be able to confirm 100%
493
00:26:48,403 --> 00:26:52,043
until… the coroner and pathologist
494
00:26:52,123 --> 00:26:54,923
and all those professionals
have done their jobs.
495
00:26:55,643 --> 00:26:57,283
[Steele] Her postmortem,
496
00:26:57,363 --> 00:27:02,443
there was injuries
on her head and on her arm.
497
00:27:02,523 --> 00:27:05,243
And what I will say,
the arm one was a defensive injury,
498
00:27:05,803 --> 00:27:08,843
defending yourself from
someone striking you on the head.
499
00:27:08,923 --> 00:27:11,643
When Natalie was found,
500
00:27:11,723 --> 00:27:13,563
we were relieved because…
501
00:27:14,803 --> 00:27:18,443
there's a lot of families out there
that this happens to,
502
00:27:18,523 --> 00:27:21,923
and they never get
the closure that we've had.
503
00:27:22,803 --> 00:27:27,763
So, for us to have Natalie found,
and she is back with us,
504
00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:30,763
we're lucky in that respect.
505
00:27:31,563 --> 00:27:35,483
We were devastated, but equally,
506
00:27:35,563 --> 00:27:41,123
knowing helps you to be able
to process what's gone on.
507
00:27:41,923 --> 00:27:44,523
[Blaik] With the way that he left Natalie,
508
00:27:44,603 --> 00:27:46,643
the fact that she was naked,
509
00:27:46,723 --> 00:27:49,643
she was left in a place where,
another few weeks,
510
00:27:49,723 --> 00:27:51,923
there might not have been
anything left of her,
511
00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:54,003
and we might not have ever found her.
512
00:27:54,083 --> 00:27:55,563
I just struggle with that.
513
00:27:56,563 --> 00:27:59,963
[Nikki Smith] What he'd done
to his children and to their mother
514
00:28:00,043 --> 00:28:01,963
and the rest of the family was huge.
515
00:28:02,043 --> 00:28:04,443
The impact on that was huge,
and it still will be, I think.
516
00:28:04,523 --> 00:28:07,403
And seeing the little girl
crying for her mummy,
517
00:28:07,483 --> 00:28:09,243
that was really distressing.
518
00:28:09,323 --> 00:28:13,963
You never believe anybody is capable
of something like that.
519
00:28:14,043 --> 00:28:17,443
Nevermind somebody
who's sat at your dinner table,
520
00:28:17,523 --> 00:28:21,123
and you classed
as a member of your family.
521
00:28:21,203 --> 00:28:24,083
You would never believe
that they were capable
522
00:28:24,163 --> 00:28:28,323
of doing something so hideous.
523
00:28:28,403 --> 00:28:32,243
[Steele] The bottom line was that
he knew that their relationship was over.
524
00:28:32,323 --> 00:28:34,683
He knew that she was in
another relationship.
525
00:28:34,763 --> 00:28:36,083
He couldn't cope with that.
526
00:28:36,163 --> 00:28:38,283
And the only way for him
to cope with that was to
527
00:28:38,363 --> 00:28:41,683
not allow Natalie to have that new life.
528
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:43,643
And on the basis of that,
he took her life.
529
00:28:43,723 --> 00:28:46,203
{\an8}One of the most common phrases
530
00:28:46,283 --> 00:28:49,843
{\an8}said by killers
who killed their partners is,
531
00:28:49,923 --> 00:28:52,723
"If I can't have you, no one can."
532
00:28:58,643 --> 00:29:00,483
[Steele] Went to trial at
Luton Crown Court.
533
00:29:01,003 --> 00:29:06,563
On the day of his trial,
he pleaded guilty to killing Natalie,
534
00:29:06,643 --> 00:29:08,443
but he claimed it was manslaughter.
535
00:29:08,523 --> 00:29:10,843
There was no way
we were gonna accept that.
536
00:29:10,923 --> 00:29:15,603
This wasn't a manslaughter,
this was absolutely a murder.
537
00:29:16,123 --> 00:29:19,683
And that's what the trial was about,
it was about the intent.
538
00:29:20,803 --> 00:29:25,523
{\an8}He claimed he threw
a Faberge egg at Natalie,
539
00:29:25,603 --> 00:29:28,163
not intending to cause her serious harm,
540
00:29:28,243 --> 00:29:30,723
and disposed of her body in a panic.
541
00:29:31,123 --> 00:29:33,963
We rejected that plea offer,
542
00:29:34,043 --> 00:29:35,563
continued with the murder trial.
543
00:29:41,163 --> 00:29:43,563
I only attended one day of the trial.
544
00:29:43,643 --> 00:29:47,963
For me, I don't think
I really wanted to sit
545
00:29:48,043 --> 00:29:51,683
and listen to the whole thing
being drawn out.
546
00:29:51,763 --> 00:29:54,923
For me, the fact is,
this man has murdered my sister.
547
00:29:55,523 --> 00:29:57,603
And I don't need to know
any more than that.
548
00:29:57,683 --> 00:30:02,603
Paul would come in, all suited,
looked really smart, you know.
549
00:30:02,683 --> 00:30:06,643
Sit there, um, all very tearful
at the right times,
550
00:30:06,723 --> 00:30:07,923
towards the jury.
551
00:30:08,003 --> 00:30:10,243
And when they'd go out, he didn't care.
552
00:30:10,323 --> 00:30:13,083
Natalie's son was due
to give evidence via video link
553
00:30:13,163 --> 00:30:16,403
through the Crown Court up in Yorkshire
554
00:30:16,483 --> 00:30:18,963
to the Crown Court in Luton.
555
00:30:19,043 --> 00:30:23,403
But when Paul then pleaded guilty
to manslaughter on the first day of trial,
556
00:30:24,483 --> 00:30:27,523
he then didn't have to do that.
557
00:30:27,603 --> 00:30:29,443
Which to be fair, I was relieved at
558
00:30:29,523 --> 00:30:34,883
because I didn't want this little boy
to have to go through… doing that.
559
00:30:35,003 --> 00:30:37,163
Even though, obviously,
he wouldn't be able to see
560
00:30:37,243 --> 00:30:39,203
what was going on in the court.
561
00:30:39,283 --> 00:30:41,483
It's just being in that little room,
562
00:30:41,563 --> 00:30:44,483
being asked all these questions,
it's not nice,
563
00:30:44,563 --> 00:30:48,483
especially when he was only…
six at the time.
564
00:30:49,363 --> 00:30:50,603
Showed no emotion whatsoever
565
00:30:50,683 --> 00:30:53,163
when any victim impact statements
were being read
566
00:30:53,243 --> 00:30:56,043
of what effect it had on his own kids,
567
00:30:56,123 --> 00:31:01,723
and the effect it had on Natalie's mum
and her brothers and sisters.
568
00:31:01,803 --> 00:31:03,163
Didn't care, no emotion.
569
00:31:04,563 --> 00:31:05,963
[narrator] During the trial,
570
00:31:06,043 --> 00:31:09,003
the court is shown
specifically designed imagery.
571
00:31:09,083 --> 00:31:12,443
One of the things we did use was some 3D,
572
00:31:12,523 --> 00:31:14,323
some digital fly throughs,
573
00:31:14,403 --> 00:31:18,003
so we can take the jury
back to the home address.
574
00:31:18,083 --> 00:31:20,283
We can physically represent
what the house looks like.
575
00:31:20,363 --> 00:31:23,523
We can do a virtual tour of the house.
We can show where witnesses were.
576
00:31:23,603 --> 00:31:25,483
So, we used that
to good effect in the trial.
577
00:31:25,563 --> 00:31:27,523
One of the specialists that we had,
578
00:31:27,603 --> 00:31:30,083
as part of the forensic strategy,
was an entomologist,
579
00:31:30,163 --> 00:31:35,203
who obviously can
date and timeline larvae and flies.
580
00:31:35,283 --> 00:31:36,643
And when we got the report back,
581
00:31:36,723 --> 00:31:40,323
the findings were incredible
in terms of the timeline
582
00:31:40,403 --> 00:31:42,763
because they're able to say
that the incubation period
583
00:31:42,843 --> 00:31:46,363
of those particular flies and maggots
was about 19 to 21 days,
584
00:31:47,043 --> 00:31:50,723
which was exactly the amount of time
that Natalie had been there.
585
00:31:50,803 --> 00:31:54,683
Our case was that Paul
had murdered Natalie on the Sunday night.
586
00:31:54,763 --> 00:31:56,963
And then three weeks later,
her body is found,
587
00:31:57,043 --> 00:32:01,123
which would be absolutely in keeping
with the report from the entomologist.
588
00:32:01,203 --> 00:32:04,283
Paul Hemming was found guilty
at Luton Crown Court,
589
00:32:04,363 --> 00:32:08,763
unanimously, by the jury,
of murder and burial offenses.
590
00:32:08,843 --> 00:32:13,443
And he was sentenced to life imprisonment
with a minimum term of 20 years.
591
00:32:16,483 --> 00:32:18,003
Once they'd found him guilty,
592
00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:19,563
-he mouthed, didn't he…
-Yes, yeah.
593
00:32:19,643 --> 00:32:23,443
…to the sisters in the public gallery
and to the mum,
594
00:32:23,523 --> 00:32:25,043
"I loved every minute."
595
00:32:30,363 --> 00:32:32,523
[Joanne] The day of Natalie's funeral was,
596
00:32:33,283 --> 00:32:36,323
I suppose it was really stressful for me
597
00:32:36,403 --> 00:32:38,763
because I took responsibility
for everything,
598
00:32:38,843 --> 00:32:40,483
because my mum just couldn't.
599
00:32:40,563 --> 00:32:42,043
She was just…
600
00:32:42,763 --> 00:32:44,443
Bless her, she was just falling apart.
601
00:32:44,523 --> 00:32:46,483
I remember that night, I hardly slept.
602
00:32:46,563 --> 00:32:47,963
It was the most ridiculous thing
603
00:32:48,043 --> 00:32:50,163
'cause I was frightened
nobody was gonna turn up,
604
00:32:50,243 --> 00:32:52,483
and it was just gonna be us.
605
00:32:52,563 --> 00:32:54,723
And I know it's utterly ridiculous,
606
00:32:54,803 --> 00:32:59,963
but I just wanted her
to have the best… sendoff
607
00:33:00,043 --> 00:33:01,563
that we could give her.
608
00:33:02,283 --> 00:33:04,843
And that's… Oh, my God. [sobs]
609
00:33:07,203 --> 00:33:08,323
Oh, dear.
610
00:33:09,243 --> 00:33:10,963
Yeah. Oh.
611
00:33:12,483 --> 00:33:15,803
But we asked everybody
to wear traditional black,
612
00:33:15,883 --> 00:33:19,363
but we asked everybody to just wear
their favorite party shoes,
613
00:33:19,443 --> 00:33:20,723
which everybody did.
614
00:33:20,803 --> 00:33:23,603
And I just remember
when the car came around the corner,
615
00:33:24,643 --> 00:33:27,443
there were just… people everywhere.
616
00:33:28,323 --> 00:33:30,403
And it was just like
a massive relief… [sobs]
617
00:33:31,003 --> 00:33:34,083
…'cause I just thought,
"Everybody's here for her." [sobs]
618
00:33:34,683 --> 00:33:38,363
And then when we went inside,
it was full inside as well.
619
00:33:38,443 --> 00:33:40,723
[Kerry] Natalie, obviously,
was the baby of all of us.
620
00:33:40,803 --> 00:33:45,563
So, to lose her,
it's like losing one of your best friends.
621
00:33:46,883 --> 00:33:50,923
You grow up together,
you do everything together,
622
00:33:51,003 --> 00:33:53,483
and then one day, she's just gone.
623
00:33:53,563 --> 00:33:56,363
You know, in Natalie's funeral, Jo went,
624
00:33:56,443 --> 00:33:59,483
"This is the last time
we'll all be together as the five of us."
625
00:33:59,563 --> 00:34:03,323
I think that for me, it was a bit
that I just said to myself, right?
626
00:34:04,203 --> 00:34:07,283
He's not taking anything else now.
That's it, done.
627
00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:17,762
[narrator] Paul Hemming has
begun his 20 year sentence
628
00:34:17,843 --> 00:34:21,843
for the murder of his partner
and mother of three, Natalie.
629
00:34:22,923 --> 00:34:24,843
Despite his conviction,
630
00:34:24,923 --> 00:34:28,883
his actions will have an enduring effect
on all those closest to her.
631
00:34:30,083 --> 00:34:33,762
Our family lives have changed dramatically
since it's all happened.
632
00:34:33,843 --> 00:34:37,083
All of our lives have just
changed beyond recognition.
633
00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:42,202
{\an8}I mean, for my brothers,
it's slightly different obviously,
634
00:34:42,282 --> 00:34:45,883
{\an8}um, but they're still dealing
with a massive loss.
635
00:34:45,963 --> 00:34:50,762
And it's had impact on them
in different ways.
636
00:34:50,843 --> 00:34:53,443
{\an8}The impact to my mum has been horrendous.
637
00:34:53,523 --> 00:34:56,762
{\an8}She has been… very poorly.
638
00:34:56,843 --> 00:35:00,523
Her health has just gone downhill.
639
00:35:00,603 --> 00:35:03,563
It's just taken a real toll on her.
640
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:07,083
I think she's aged a lot as well
over these last years.
641
00:35:07,163 --> 00:35:08,403
She just…
642
00:35:08,483 --> 00:35:11,443
Seems to have hit her really hard.
643
00:35:12,003 --> 00:35:14,643
We made the decision very quickly
about the children
644
00:35:14,723 --> 00:35:19,003
because, obviously,
my mum is not in the best of health
645
00:35:19,083 --> 00:35:21,043
or wasn't in the best of health anyway.
646
00:35:21,123 --> 00:35:25,883
So, we, you know, us four,
647
00:35:25,963 --> 00:35:28,883
sat round and decided that
actually the best thing to do
648
00:35:28,963 --> 00:35:33,723
would be for the children to come back
to Yorkshire with me and Kerry.
649
00:35:33,803 --> 00:35:38,883
So, I care for the two girls
and Kerry cares for Natalie's little boy.
650
00:35:40,403 --> 00:35:44,243
That, for us, was the right thing to do.
651
00:35:44,323 --> 00:35:49,083
We've gone from having
four children to having six.
652
00:35:49,163 --> 00:35:54,363
And it's just the most basic things,
like getting a car for eight people.
653
00:35:54,443 --> 00:35:57,683
[laughs] You can't just walk down
to the local car showroom and go,
654
00:35:57,763 --> 00:36:00,043
"I'll have a car for eight, please."
655
00:36:00,123 --> 00:36:02,323
Everything is sort of commercial vehicles.
656
00:36:02,403 --> 00:36:04,443
And just… Yeah.
657
00:36:04,523 --> 00:36:06,083
I mean, God, my washing pile,
658
00:36:06,163 --> 00:36:09,803
it's nearly as big as Mount Everest
half the time.
659
00:36:10,603 --> 00:36:15,363
And so, just keeping up to date
with day-to-day stuff is exhausting.
660
00:36:16,403 --> 00:36:21,963
My poor husband, I don't know how,
bless him, he's coped with it all as well.
661
00:36:22,043 --> 00:36:24,683
Because, obviously,
when he met me, it was just me,
662
00:36:24,763 --> 00:36:28,843
me and him and two kids,
and it's just kept expanding. [laughs]
663
00:36:29,803 --> 00:36:32,363
So, yeah. No, it's been…
664
00:36:32,923 --> 00:36:37,483
it' been really hard,
really hard… for everybody.
665
00:36:37,563 --> 00:36:40,243
Natalie's two girls are thriving.
666
00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:42,803
They're coming along so much.
667
00:36:42,883 --> 00:36:45,483
Natalie's youngest daughter
never really used to talk.
668
00:36:45,563 --> 00:36:50,723
Now, she just talks and talks and talks,
and she's happy,
669
00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:54,403
which is all we wanted for these kids.
670
00:36:54,483 --> 00:36:58,083
My life has gone from being
a single mum of two children
671
00:36:58,163 --> 00:37:00,243
to a single mum of three children.
672
00:37:00,323 --> 00:37:04,883
I've got Natalie's son settled in school,
673
00:37:04,963 --> 00:37:08,763
and making sure that
he has everything that he needs,
674
00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:12,483
and that he knows that
he's loved and cared for.
675
00:37:13,203 --> 00:37:16,243
This little boy has got
so much going on up here
676
00:37:16,323 --> 00:37:18,483
that he just doesn't know how to vent it.
677
00:37:18,563 --> 00:37:24,083
It's good now because he does believe
that daddy killed mummy, you know.
678
00:37:24,163 --> 00:37:26,683
To start with, he was always like,
679
00:37:26,763 --> 00:37:29,683
"No, my daddy wouldn't do that to mummy."
680
00:37:29,763 --> 00:37:33,243
And he now says,
681
00:37:33,323 --> 00:37:34,923
"My daddy killed my mummy."
682
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,763
That man has got so much to answer for
683
00:37:37,843 --> 00:37:41,203
'cause that poor little boy
is scarred for life.
684
00:37:42,403 --> 00:37:44,603
[narrator] In December 2015,
685
00:37:44,683 --> 00:37:48,643
coercive and controlling behavior
in the home became illegal.
686
00:37:50,003 --> 00:37:52,123
[Dr. Smith] It's absolutely crucial
687
00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:54,843
that we raise awareness
of coercive control
688
00:37:54,923 --> 00:38:00,243
and understand what it is
because it is so very dangerous.
689
00:38:00,323 --> 00:38:03,963
{\an8}People can find help in
many places these days
690
00:38:04,043 --> 00:38:06,403
{\an8}because we are more aware.
691
00:38:06,483 --> 00:38:10,043
{\an8}Professionals are much more aware
of the dangers of coercive control,
692
00:38:10,123 --> 00:38:13,923
the police, the Social Services, your GP.
693
00:38:14,003 --> 00:38:16,523
There are domestic abuse services
694
00:38:16,603 --> 00:38:20,123
in every town,
in every area of the country.
695
00:38:20,803 --> 00:38:23,283
[Joanne] I'm now an ambassador for AFTER,
696
00:38:23,363 --> 00:38:26,563
which is
Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse.
697
00:38:26,643 --> 00:38:30,363
They support families through something
called a Domestic Homicide Review,
698
00:38:30,443 --> 00:38:33,043
which is something that,
obviously, we've had to go through.
699
00:38:33,123 --> 00:38:37,003
And they've also provided
support in lots of other areas,
700
00:38:37,083 --> 00:38:40,043
in helping me to make
contact with ministers
701
00:38:40,123 --> 00:38:42,483
to raise other issues around the children.
702
00:38:42,763 --> 00:38:46,323
I'm now speaking at conferences
up and down the country,
703
00:38:46,403 --> 00:38:50,483
just to try and, I suppose,
raise awareness of the fact that,
704
00:38:50,563 --> 00:38:53,523
perhaps the image that
people have of domestic abuse
705
00:38:53,603 --> 00:38:55,443
is not necessarily what it is.
706
00:38:55,523 --> 00:38:56,963
If I'm being totally honest,
707
00:38:57,043 --> 00:39:01,483
I don't think I genuinely understood
what she was living with.
708
00:39:01,563 --> 00:39:03,163
It's only now,
709
00:39:03,243 --> 00:39:06,123
and having spoken to the professionals
710
00:39:06,203 --> 00:39:08,763
and doing the things that I'm doing now,
711
00:39:08,843 --> 00:39:13,003
that I really understand
what domestic abuse is.
712
00:39:13,083 --> 00:39:16,203
I think lots of us have got
an image of domestic abuse being,
713
00:39:16,283 --> 00:39:20,323
years ago, you see the pictures
of the battered women
714
00:39:20,403 --> 00:39:22,003
on hospital walls and things.
715
00:39:22,083 --> 00:39:26,323
And that is just not
what domestic abuse is… at all.
716
00:39:26,403 --> 00:39:29,083
That is only a very small part of it.
717
00:39:29,843 --> 00:39:33,683
I think I would just
urge anybody who is…
718
00:39:33,763 --> 00:39:36,723
living in a situation…
719
00:39:37,963 --> 00:39:42,723
where they maybe
feel threatened or unsafe,
720
00:39:42,803 --> 00:39:45,003
that they look for support
721
00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:49,963
through the correct agencies, charities.
722
00:39:50,043 --> 00:39:53,923
And if you are wanting to leave,
723
00:39:54,003 --> 00:39:58,163
get advice from those charities
and do it safely…
724
00:39:58,243 --> 00:40:01,123
because… as we now know,
725
00:40:01,203 --> 00:40:04,243
the point at which somebody
wants to leave or does leave
726
00:40:04,323 --> 00:40:09,323
is the point at which that risk
of a homicide increases massively.
727
00:40:09,403 --> 00:40:12,483
We don't ever want
Natalie to be forgotten.
728
00:40:13,763 --> 00:40:16,043
We don't want her
just to become another statistic.
729
00:40:16,123 --> 00:40:18,043
She… It did happen to her
730
00:40:18,123 --> 00:40:21,523
and we don't want any other children
to lose their mum.
731
00:40:22,363 --> 00:40:26,043
[Dr. Smith] So, some research has shown
that as many as one in four women
732
00:40:26,123 --> 00:40:28,363
will suffer domestic abuse
across their lifetime,
733
00:40:28,443 --> 00:40:30,043
so this is a problem.
734
00:40:30,123 --> 00:40:33,243
And I think it's really interesting
that as a culture
735
00:40:33,323 --> 00:40:37,683
we encourage young women
to go out and find Mr. Right,
736
00:40:37,763 --> 00:40:41,163
but we never give them
any help, support, or information
737
00:40:41,243 --> 00:40:43,443
about how to get rid of Mr. Wrong.
738
00:40:44,763 --> 00:40:50,283
[Steele] This case centered on
a vile individual who controlled women.
739
00:40:50,363 --> 00:40:53,243
He knew Natalie was leaving him,
740
00:40:53,323 --> 00:40:58,043
{\an8}and his control… was coming to an end.
741
00:40:58,803 --> 00:41:00,923
In hindsight, it's a great thing to know,
742
00:41:01,003 --> 00:41:02,683
if we'd known what we know now,
743
00:41:03,323 --> 00:41:05,243
we would have done
everything so differently.
744
00:41:05,323 --> 00:41:07,523
She never would have gone home that night.
745
00:41:08,283 --> 00:41:11,163
{\an8}I present to students
on public service courses
746
00:41:11,243 --> 00:41:13,243
and the Action for Youth Program,
747
00:41:13,323 --> 00:41:17,123
is to highlight the fact
that coercive control
748
00:41:17,203 --> 00:41:20,003
happens in all sorts of walks of life.
749
00:41:20,083 --> 00:41:23,603
It's not specific to
a certain class of people.
750
00:41:23,683 --> 00:41:26,643
Outwardly, you'd look
at the Hemming family,
751
00:41:26,723 --> 00:41:29,403
Paul and Natalie, you would think that
752
00:41:29,483 --> 00:41:32,243
this wouldn't happen
in those circumstances.
753
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:34,403
Well, clearly,
we know that's not the case.
754
00:41:35,603 --> 00:41:40,483
[Joanne] If we had truly understood
what domestic abuse is…
755
00:41:41,323 --> 00:41:43,843
and what my sister was living with,
756
00:41:43,923 --> 00:41:46,403
we would have done things
so very differently.
757
00:41:46,803 --> 00:41:48,963
And I'm not saying that
it wouldn't have happened
758
00:41:49,043 --> 00:41:52,083
because I think if somebody
is determined enough,
759
00:41:53,203 --> 00:41:55,283
then there is always gonna be that risk.
760
00:41:56,123 --> 00:41:59,563
But had we realized, we would have
done things very, very differently,
761
00:41:59,643 --> 00:42:02,483
and you just don't know
what the outcome would have been.
762
00:42:18,283 --> 00:42:20,163
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