1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,320 Someone's going to have to tell the Witchfinder General 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:05,960 he's going to need a new right-hand man. 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,000 I need to take the suspect to the Court of Assizes. 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,480 And you won't even let me go? Why on earth would I agree to that? 5 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,320 Because you can't get to Chelmsford in time. 6 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,720 We'll be there on time. In fact, we'll be there later today. 7 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,200 Captain, we weren't expecting you so soon. Captain? 8 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,800 That's John Stearne. Was. 9 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,840 That's John Was. 10 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,800 Why do your eyes keep flicking over there? 11 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,200 We need to go over the bridge 12 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,520 and thought I might... look at the bridge. 13 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,880 Careful! She could cast a hex on any one of you. 14 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,040 Blow the bridge! 15 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,360 Aah! 16 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,280 This is not catastrophic, this is...manageable. 17 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,840 If you could eat anything you wanted right now, 18 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,720 what would you eat, do you think? 19 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,360 Plenty of villages beyond these trees - 20 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,560 get to one of them, borrow a couple of horses, off we go. 21 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,680 We should be in Chelmsford marginally after dark. 22 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,160 Like, if I was a witch and I could cast a food spell 23 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,960 and you could eat anything you wanted to, 24 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,840 what would you eat right now, do you think? 25 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,640 Just need to get through this forest - 26 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,480 which isn't really a forest, if I'm honest. It's more of a wood. 27 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,000 Well, it's a thicket, isn't it? 28 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,160 It's copse. I'd have a bag pudding. 29 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,840 What are you talking about? 30 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,400 I was just talking about, if you could eat anything right now, 31 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,000 what would you eat, do you think? Just to sort of pass the time. 32 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,640 Yes, you can pass the time by examining the woodland. 33 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,000 Or your conscience. Nothing wrong with my conscience. 34 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,840 Just have to borrow a couple of horses 35 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,440 once we get to the Vale of Dedham. Dedham Vale? 36 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,680 Are you joking? I'm not going through Dedham Vale! 37 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,120 You ARE going through Dedham Vale. 38 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,080 You're a prisoner, and you'll do as you're told. 39 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,520 No-one goes through Dedham Vale. My dad told me all about it. 40 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,440 They've lost their minds. 41 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,160 A man lost his daughters in there, 42 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,160 who went in there to sell cakes, and they never came back. 43 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,960 Well, we don't know that they came to any harm. Where'd they go, then? 44 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,240 Well, maybe they met some brothers and settled down. 45 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,280 There were six of them. 46 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,160 Maybe they met six brothers. I don't think so. 47 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,360 We're talking about Suffolk. They have big families. 48 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,920 HORSE WHINNIES 49 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,480 OK. Let's go. Come on, let's go! 50 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,160 Excuse me, swan. Sorry. 51 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:55,720 Madam! Stop! 52 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,080 Stop. 53 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,520 Where are you going? 54 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,800 South. South! Now, are you going near Chelmsford? 55 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,360 We're going to Chelmsford. 56 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,040 Ooh! This is ideal. 57 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,160 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 58 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,920 Is that to me or the horse? I'll need my costs covered. 59 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:16,400 Your costs? But you're going there anyway, aren't you? 60 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,280 So there ARE no costs - and besides, we have no money. 61 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,240 Then, just give us a bit of your honey. 62 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,720 Well... What? 63 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,160 This is stealing. 64 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,320 Dad always said, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. 65 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,160 This is not a gift horse. 66 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,040 This is just a horse who has left its mouth unattended. 67 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,440 Smoke, look. 68 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,680 Right... 69 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,560 Let's do the job properly. 70 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,880 OK. OK. 71 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,160 Someone's coming! 72 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,800 MAN: Oi! What the fuck are you doing? 73 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,640 Have you been in the hive? No. 74 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,360 If you've touched my bees, 75 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,800 I'll shove them up your arse one by one, like rosary beads. 76 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,760 You definitely haven't touched them? 77 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,680 No. We were... 78 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,280 ..just looking at them. 79 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:05,640 Quite unusual. 80 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,160 Bollocks. Unusual! 81 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,760 What's unusual about them? 82 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,800 Well, your skeps are made from willow. 83 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,800 Skeps? Yeah. 84 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,560 What do you know about skeps? 85 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,120 Well, usually you would reinforce the base with hazel, 86 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,680 but you've opted to use willow, 87 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,600 presumably to stop them warping in the wet weather. 88 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,240 I have, yeah. 89 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,320 But it's not reinforcing the base, is it? 90 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,360 It's called sp... Splitting. 91 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,680 Sorry, our smoke scared your bees. 92 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,960 Scared them? No, the smoke doesn't scare them. 93 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,480 No, it quells them. 94 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,160 If you'd scared them, you'd know it. 95 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,520 Oh, yes, you would! 96 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,520 THEY CHUCKLE 97 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,880 Do you tend to these every day, or...? I do, yeah. 98 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,920 You know, I mean, I know we're not supposed to work on the Sabbath, 99 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,560 but... Try telling the bees that. 100 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,800 HE LAUGHS 101 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,200 This is nice, isn't it? 102 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,840 Just two men having a nice chat about bees. 103 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,480 You have the softest elderly hands I've ever held. 104 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,800 It's just a knob of butter in the morning. 105 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,600 You butter your hands? Yeah. 106 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,600 You butter your hands. 107 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,000 That's right. 108 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,000 Well, it works beautifully. 109 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:22,120 Now, are you going to tell me what's upset you? 110 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:26,560 They're saying that it was Master Gideon that killed Mr Stearne. 111 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:30,000 Then, you must go and warn him. Godspeed and good luck. 112 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,400 Cumberlidge. 113 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,640 We ride for Cromer in an hour, 114 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,440 so the horses will need a belly full of hay 115 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,240 and a going-over with the dandy brush. 116 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,560 You could do with a couple of strokes yourself. 117 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,320 I don't have a horse. 118 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,000 You don't have a horse? 119 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,400 Then, yours is a thorny task indeed. 120 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,520 I will say, do find him. 121 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,400 I remember my father was wrongly accused of poaching. 122 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,920 I tried to reach him before the gamekeepers did. 123 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,040 Did you find him? Oh, yes. Oh, thank goodness. 124 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,040 Dead. Moments too late. 125 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,480 What I wouldn't give to right that wrong. 126 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,880 Still. 127 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:09,000 If... If you want to, you could help me find my master. 128 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,560 Oh... Oh, we'd be happy to. 129 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,360 I could do for Bannister what I could never do for my father. 130 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,720 You just tell me where he's gone. 131 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,560 Ch... 132 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:19,840 Ch...? 133 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,960 Oh, you promised not to. 134 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,160 Oh, Alice, bless you. 135 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,400 Promises are so important, aren't they? 136 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,320 I will not violate my covenant 137 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,040 or alter the word that went forth from my lips. 138 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,440 Psalms. Psalms. 139 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,640 So, what if I say where he's gone? 140 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,800 Then, you won't have been the one to tell me. 141 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,600 Your promise will be intact, and we can save that life of his. 142 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,800 You just tell me if I'm right. 143 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:51,080 Chorley. Chelmsford. 144 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,280 Cheltenham. Chesham. 145 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,320 Chadderton. Chiddingly. 146 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,320 Chard. Chelsea. 147 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,920 Charlbury. Chatham. Chatteris. 148 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,520 Cheshunt. Chester. 149 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,880 Chesterfield. Chester-le-Street. Chagford. Chaddesley Corbett. 150 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,680 Charlwood. Cheadle. Cheddar. 151 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,200 Chinnor. Chichester. Chippenham. 152 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,760 Chipping Campden. Chipping Norton. 153 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,840 Chipping Ongar. Chipping Sodbury. None of those? 154 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:12,960 The second one. 155 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,760 Such lovely hands. 156 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,800 Come along, Alice. 157 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,240 Nice of him to give us that honey. 158 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,520 For people that keep bumblebees as slaves, 159 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,480 I think the beekeepers are actually quite nice. 160 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,960 You met many beekeepers? 161 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,240 No. Beekeepers are odd. 162 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,040 I thought your dad was a beekeeper. 163 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,720 Bee people are all the same! 164 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,560 "Ooh, that's a very nice honey. 165 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,200 "Ooh, try this honey. Smell the honey! 166 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,080 "Ooh, that's lovely honey, that is." 167 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,600 Tedious, tedious. 168 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,840 Their relentless veneration of bees. 169 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,600 I dunno, whatever makes you happy, I say. 170 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,360 Name a famous beekeeper. 171 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,520 Um... 172 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,600 I'm waiting. 173 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,720 There aren't any. 174 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,760 You can't get rich or decorated by keeping bees. 175 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,120 You could be rich in other ways, besides money. 176 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:11,280 Yes, well, I want to be rich in other ways AND money. 177 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,680 You're a witchfinder. I am. 178 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,840 My lad's a bit of a witchfinder, aren't you, lad? 179 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,360 A bit of a witchfinder? 180 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:18,760 You'll have to watch yourself. 181 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,160 I shall have to remember that! 182 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,840 He's found two now. 183 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,120 Local girls, like. 184 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,720 Knows all the questions. 185 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,800 Then again, it's just a bit of common sense, innit? 186 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,240 Well, no - you have to be able to read for a start. 187 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,560 I can read. 188 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,360 Oh, I bet you read nicely. 189 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,920 SHE GASPS You could teach ME to read one day! 190 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:40,480 "An observation of the study of the nature of the foulness of witches. 191 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:41,920 "For Dorothy." 192 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,880 Oh, no, it's a summons from the court in Chelmsford. 193 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,560 It doesn't say Chelmsford on here. Or court. 194 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,840 Well, I've read Malleus Maleficarum in Latin. 195 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,920 Mm! I wonder whether your boy has done that. 196 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,360 Might have. What about Daemonologie? 197 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,760 Um... Um... 198 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:58,960 Yes or no? 199 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,240 Yes, then. And Stercus Equi? Yeah. 200 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,200 Even though it doesn't exist, and it means horse shit in Latin?! 201 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,360 Oh! 202 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,880 THUD 203 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,720 No! No, stop the cart! 204 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,000 Stop the cart! 205 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,640 Gooch! Oi! Gooch! 206 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,080 One more step! 207 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,440 One more step, and I will put a hex on you - I mean it! 208 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,120 Argh! 209 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,440 Oh! 210 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,280 Argh! 211 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,200 Right, you! Aah! You! 212 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,880 Argh! 213 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,440 I was never summoned to Chelmsford. 214 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,840 There's no letter. So what? 215 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,360 In Chelmsford, you get to be tried 216 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,200 away from the lunatics in your hometown, 217 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,760 and I get to offer my services 218 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,240 as the right-hand man to the Witchfinder General. 219 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,680 This is what this is all about? 220 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,480 A job? 221 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,800 You are so obsessed with people thinking you're important! 222 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,800 I care what people think. 223 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,960 That's all. 224 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,160 And maybe if you would do that once in a while, 225 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,880 rather than just articulating anything 226 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,280 that comes into your head... Oh! 227 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,840 ..then maybe you wouldn't be in this pickle in the first place. 228 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,680 Don't you dare. People are frightened. 229 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,640 Yeah. They think the devil walks amongst them! 230 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,000 They want certainty. 231 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:18,120 Now, anyone with half a brain would notice that, 232 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,160 and would try and fit in, 233 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,920 would try and be like other people - but not you. 234 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,120 You spend all your time down the tavern, you rile your neighbours. 235 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,760 You ask constant, constant questions. 236 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,520 I don't just accept what the men in the fancy hats tell me! 237 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,800 Yeah, well, LET ME TELL...! 238 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,360 Let me tell you something. 239 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:41,120 It's the people in the nice hats that make all the big decisions. 240 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,400 Now, someone like... 241 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,800 What? You don't think I'm a witch. 242 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,360 I haven't said that, who said that? 243 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,680 Why didn't you stay back? When? 244 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,400 When I threatened to put a hex on you before, you didn't even flinch. 245 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,760 I did. I remember feeling intense fear 246 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,160 before asking the Lord to give me courage. 247 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,520 You dived on me straight away. 248 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,440 I pray very quickly. For the sake of your career, 249 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,320 you would convict an innocent woman. 250 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,720 I'm not convicting anyone. 251 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,040 That is for the court to decide. I am merely a... 252 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,800 ..conduit would be the wrong word, but... Just a horrible man. 253 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,080 Yes, and you're my prisoner. 254 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,280 So, we're going. 255 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,720 Give me the map. 256 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,200 Give me the map. Mm-mm. 257 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,520 Give me the map. No. 258 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,080 I'm not going through Dedham Vale, it's got the word "dead" in it. 259 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,640 Yes, it's also got the word "ham" in it. 260 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,880 Yeah. Well, good luck getting that down. 261 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,600 You'd have more chance swallowing your bloody mouth, honestly. 262 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,640 Can't wait to see you get THAT down. 263 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,280 You're not getting that down. 264 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,600 Are you getting that down? 265 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,920 Don't get that down! 266 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,720 Stop getting it down! 267 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,360 Is it down? 268 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,840 That's unbelievable. 269 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,480 Let's head for the trees. 270 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,880 Bugger me! 271 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,400 Footprints. People have been this way. 272 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,120 Yeah. Us, an hour ago. 273 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,920 Right, we're camping. 274 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,120 And you can extinguish that look, thank you very much. 275 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,920 We're still going to Chelmsford tomorrow. 276 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,040 I was always told it's dangerous to stay out at night 277 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,880 in case of highwaymen. 278 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,360 Can you see any highways? 279 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,640 Highwaymen don't just rob on highways. 280 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,840 Yes, but highwaymen mainly rob on highways, 281 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,440 just like dung beetles don't just eat dung. 282 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,880 If they find an old leaf that tastes shitty enough, 283 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,000 they'll eat that too - 284 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000 but they're called dung beetles 285 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,880 because they MAINLY eat dung. 286 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,800 SIGHS: Right... 287 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,960 Have you done much camping? 288 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,600 QUIETLY: The rabbit is a wily foe... 289 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,560 ..but if I stay completely still... 290 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,800 ..I will hear him coming... 291 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,480 ..long before he reaches the exit... 292 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,880 ..giving me that crucial... 293 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,720 ..split-second advantage... 294 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,960 ..needed... 295 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,960 RUSTLING 296 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,080 THUD 297 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,080 That's fine. 298 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,600 Let him go, let him go. 299 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,480 Do you think? Mm-hm. 300 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,960 Always let the first one go. 301 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,720 Mark of respect between hunter... RUSTLING 302 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,280 THUD 303 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,280 ..and hunted. 304 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:28,800 Again, fine. 305 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,480 Let him go, let him go? 306 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,240 We had not yet commenced the hunt proper. 307 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,480 We shall do so now. 308 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,320 RUSTLING, THUD 309 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,520 RUSTLING, THUD 310 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,320 RUSTLING, THUD 311 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,440 RUSTLING, THUD 312 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:52,880 RUSTLING 313 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,000 Funny how if you just bend down and pick one up, they just let you. 314 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,560 Possibly cotignac. Cotignac? 315 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:06,400 You were asking earlier what I would eat if I could have anything I like. 316 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,400 Bread with cotignac. 317 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,960 It's a quince paste made with lemon and sugar. 318 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,960 I love jam. It's not a jam! 319 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,360 It's an exquisite local delicacy in Provence. 320 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,000 In France. 321 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,720 Unusual for something to be exquisite AND local. 322 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,600 Um, no. Normally if something is exquisite, it doesn't stay local. 323 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,240 We all end up eating it - 324 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,800 and if it's still local, 325 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,760 it's probably not going to be that exquisite. 326 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,120 Is that where you had cotignac - France? 327 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,320 No, it's not. 328 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,560 I had it at a dinner with the Archbishop of Norfolk 329 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,440 and several other leading figures of East Anglia. 330 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,720 I sampled the cotignac, 331 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,760 and I was possibly too boisterous in my praise. 332 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:54,560 Ended up lodging a pheasant's wishbone in the old throat. 333 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,840 Had to be helped away. 334 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,400 I wasn't asked back. 335 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,360 HE PLAYS MELODY 336 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,080 That's sad. 337 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,880 It IS sad. Yes. 338 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,960 I've come to refer to it as the wishbone moment. 339 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,840 Not just because I choked on one, 340 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,160 but also because when one pictures a wishbone, 341 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:21,440 there is a long, thin single bone... 342 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,400 ..if you like, my life up until that moment... 343 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,520 ..and then the bone bisects into two prongs. 344 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,800 Now, one of these is the less-than-successful path 345 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,960 my life took after that moment, involving small rooms in taverns 346 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,840 and people who like bag pudding. 347 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,800 The other prong? 348 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,720 That's the life I should have had. 349 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,920 Renown, acclaim... 350 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,240 So, yes, it is sad. I meant the tune. 351 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,400 Oh, right. Well... 352 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:53,600 I will be playing an altogether more jaunty number tomorrow 353 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,120 after meeting the Witchfinder General. 354 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,640 HE PLAYS MELODY 355 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,040 Do you know Are You Sleeping, Brother John? 356 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,480 Mm-hm. Because we could do that in the round. 357 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,640 There's two of us. 358 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,920 Didn't he ban music? 359 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,760 That Puritan you like. 360 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,640 Oliver Cromwell. 361 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,200 # If you be a man of noble fame 362 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,640 # Then tell me-o the father's name 363 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,160 # At the well below the valley-o 364 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,240 # Green grow the lily-o 365 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,960 # Right among the bushes-o... # 366 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,600 Ahem. 367 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,880 # Two of them... # Outstanding, Alice. 368 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,160 I could listen to you sing all day... Well, thank you! 369 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:49,240 ..and in a way I feel I have. Your master is a lucky man indeed. 370 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,160 He doesn't much care for my singing. 371 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:54,320 Well, he should try listening to Cumberlidge for entertainment. 372 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,760 I'd get better conversation if I put the bridle on him 373 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,160 and had the horse sit up here! 374 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,360 # There's two of them by... # That being said, 375 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,600 I do wonder if we shouldn't put the singing to one side. 376 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,720 We'd hate to be in the throes of musical ecstasy 377 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,760 and miss a clue as to which way he journeyed. 378 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,960 Well, I can tell you which way he's gone. 379 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,360 You can...you can see from the horse droppings. 380 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,080 These could be anyone's horse droppings. 381 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,400 Well, THOSE could be anyone's, 382 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,360 but these on the left, they're Master Gideon's. 383 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,920 You can tell, cos they're a bit purply, 384 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,560 and he feeds his horse beetroot. Why does he feed them beetroot? 385 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,880 So they do purple shits. 386 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:29,000 Quite the sleuth. Like a bloodhound tracking a fox. 387 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,960 Or a pig snuffling for truffles. 388 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,920 Ooh! It's a bit like truffling for snuffles, isn't it? 389 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,280 Yeah. We must hurry. Cumberlidge, off. 390 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,200 Give the horse a fighting chance. You can trot alongside. 391 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,040 Haven't been camping in ages. 392 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,320 I suppose women aren't allowed to any more. 393 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,000 Yes, they are. Of course they are. 394 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,520 Meet in the woods - must be a coven. 395 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,680 Pick flowers - she's making a potion. 396 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,040 Swim in a river - why does she float? 397 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,520 I used to love swimming. 398 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,840 My dad always says... I think that's enough talking now, don't you? 399 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,520 Nothing wrong with talking. 400 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,720 My dad says it's the only thing that separates us from animals. 401 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,200 Not true. Clothes. 402 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,960 My dad also says... Your dad also says, your dad also says! 403 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,440 Your dad does a lot of saying, doesn't he? 404 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,560 But not a great deal of being there 405 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,280 when his daughter is accused of witchery. 406 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,560 Well, he went away. 407 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,000 When I was younger, there was a bad harvest. 408 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,360 He went to get work. So now he's migratory, is he? 409 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,320 Flying off to sunnier climes, 410 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:37,040 flapping his big old wings, soaring off to Lowestoft? 411 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,480 HE SQUAWKS 412 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,800 Well, he didn't want us relying on the parish. 413 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,320 Comments as you go by, wiping spit off the door. 414 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,760 So he went away. 415 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,560 Last time I checked, families were supposed to stay together. 416 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,320 We will be in one place. 417 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,960 He's found work now. 418 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,920 Oh! Says so in his letters. Which you can't read. 419 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,520 Mum's friend can read, and Mum would tell me - 420 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,360 till the pox took her last winter. 421 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:07,440 Do you think that he'd be writing me letters if he deserted me? 422 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,040 I don't know. No. 423 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,120 You know, it's not healthy to set so much store in other people. 424 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,240 Rely on oneself. 425 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,240 Pull up the drawbridge. 426 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,280 What if you love someone? Don't. 427 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,880 I don't. 428 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,680 You don't know what it means. I do know this - 429 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,880 everybody has attachments. 430 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,240 Parents they've lost, or a dog that ran away 431 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:37,640 or a fiancee who backed out with four weeks to go before the wedding. 432 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,280 You can't dwell on the Christmases you spent together, 433 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,400 the long walks, stroking her face with the back of your hand. 434 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,240 "Oh, you've got smooth knuckles. 435 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,480 "I'm going to call you Smuckles." 436 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,080 You can't wallow in it. 437 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,960 You're from the wrong stock, draw a line, move on. 438 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,800 Bye-bye. 439 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,040 What was her name? 440 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,760 Long time ago. I don't know. Something like Dorothy. 441 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,800 So, Dorothy, then. Yeah, it was Dorothy. Yeah. 442 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,240 You not having your bunny? 443 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,200 I'm all right. I had that map. 444 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,840 Let's tie you up. 445 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,160 BIRDSONG 446 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,120 DISTANT CHATTER 447 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,280 Come on, Gooch. Up. Gooch! Gooch! 448 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,320 Up! I can hear people. Oh... 449 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,320 There must be a village. 450 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,080 Come on, Gooch, let's go. 451 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,480 Come on. Through here. 452 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,160 HE SNIFFS 453 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,160 You smell that? 454 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,720 That'll be sausages. 455 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,360 That's Dedham Vale? 456 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,760 Well, what did you expect? 457 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,920 Jackals roaming the street? Dead babies on spikes? 458 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,920 Lucifer manning the cider stall? HE CHUCKLES 459 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,080 Well, I don't know, I just got so many stories 460 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,640 about how everybody just went completely berserk. 461 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,400 Where do the stories come from? Your father. And half the tavern. 462 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,000 Like June Roscoe and Old Dim Dyke. 463 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,320 Here we go. Randy Tom. Henry with the eye. 464 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,720 Henry with the hair. 465 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,440 Bobby Four-tits and half the lads at the tannery. 466 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,760 Honestly, I hate to disagree with Randy, Tom, 467 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,200 or any of the Four-tits family, but look for yourself. 468 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,480 I might just go and ask. 469 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,680 No, you won't just do anything. 470 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,080 You're going to stay out the way. Come on. 471 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,280 I will go over there. 472 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,040 I will have a lovely breakfast 473 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,880 and then I will use my standing to secure the loan of a cart and horse 474 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,520 to get us to Chelmsford today, ready for the trial tomorrow. 475 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,200 Any sausages for me? 476 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,800 I shouldn't have thought so. 477 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,360 Good morning! 478 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,600 Are your parents about? 479 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,120 I love children. 480 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,320 Hello? 481 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,640 Hello! 482 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,280 Do we know if this horse is taken? 483 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,160 Do we know if horsey likes apples? 484 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,840 Hello? 485 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,360 Daylight robbery. Ah! No. 486 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,080 The price of a good horse today. Oh. 487 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,920 Mind you, that one's just a pony and it gets terrible sore throats. 488 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,280 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Oh, it's fine. 489 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,960 It's just a little HOARSE. 490 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,960 Oh! 491 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,960 THEY LAUGH 492 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,000 Wonderful! 493 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,320 Really strong. 494 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,560 The pony doesn't think so - but then they are NEIGH sayers. 495 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,280 That's another one! 496 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,680 That's two horse jokes. 497 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:25,960 Helena Jennings. 498 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:30,760 Gideon Bannister. Gideon, eh? Oh, a fine Biblical name. Yes. 499 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,200 Commanded by God to defeat the Midianites. 500 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,000 Well, if I see one! 501 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,000 HE LAUGHS 502 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,160 No, but ARE you a man of God? I try to be. 503 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,920 I'm actually transporting... James! He's one of our lot. 504 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,680 Minister Jennings, cleric of our little parish. 505 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,120 So, there are people here, then. Yes. Yes. 506 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,960 Well, you've met my wife. The comedian. 507 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,800 Hah! Giving you the horse jokes, was she? 508 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,520 Yes, both of them. Oh, I know! 509 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,840 Puritans ought not to entertain frivolity... Mm-hm. 510 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,640 ..but we're not really the finger-wagging types in Dedham Vale. 511 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,320 Well, this is splendid. 512 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,400 A new friend, and a man of good stock. 513 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,280 I saw you looking at the horse. Are you in need of one? 514 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,680 Yes, that's my MANE concern. 515 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,720 Little horse joke for you. 516 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,520 But of course! Absolutely. 517 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,120 A good puritan like you - more than welcome. 518 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,280 But first you must stay and enjoy the feast. 519 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,800 Ooh, a feast! 520 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,400 Now, then! I don't mind a feast. 521 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,520 Do you know what? 522 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,560 Some people warned me not to come through here. 523 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,080 LAUGHS: Dedham Vale?! Dedham Vale! 524 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,160 There's no safer place in England! 525 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,800 Of course not! 526 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:50,760 TWIG SNAPS 527 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,680 Oh, this place is fantastic. 528 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,040 We should get the feast started. Oh, wonderful. 529 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,480 What are we having? Having? Sausages, by any chance? 530 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,840 Oh, no, it's more of a feast of renewal than a feast-feast. 531 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,360 Please! I have children! Please! 532 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,120 Wh...? We generally hang them, 533 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,520 but the occasional bonfire serves as a warning to others. 534 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,040 Susan was arrested this morning. 535 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,800 It was said that she muttered a malediction to Lorna Pierce. 536 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,200 Only arrested this morning? And already tried? 537 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,160 Oh, we don't much worry about trials. Best not to dilly-dally. 538 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,600 When the locals identify a witch, that's good enough for us. 539 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,200 When the people of Sodom and Gomorrah committed abominations, 540 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,280 God didn't initiate court proceedings. 541 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,320 He rained burning sulphur upon them. 542 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,800 Which is why, when we get a witch, we like to pop her on the fire. 543 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,840 The devil's daughter must be put to slaughter. What a lovely rhyme. 544 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,840 Yes! Peter makes them up for us. 545 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,640 He's our resident Shakespeare. 546 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,920 I can see that. Now... 547 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,600 ..would you care to be today's starter of the flame, Mr Bannister? 548 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,200 SHE SCREAMS 549 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,440 Flame? 550 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,560 Oh, there they are! 551 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,680 I was meant to bury those witches a week ago. 552 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,240 You know when you just can't remember 553 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,720 what you've done with something? 554 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,520 So, what are you doing here? 555 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,480 I thought I'd just sort of guard them. Guard them? 556 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,440 Er, because, witches, 557 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,200 you don't know if the power's kind of still in them... Oh! 558 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,440 ..even after they're dead. 559 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,200 I don't want any kids sort of playing, skipping around, 560 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:23,400 and there's still, like, still some sort of evil seeping out. 561 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,160 I'm Richard, by the way. I am Thomasine. 562 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,440 Lovely to meet you. 563 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,120 Oh! You always curtsy? 564 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,840 Only to people that I fancy. 565 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,960 Could you do me a favour and pass me that shovel? Um... No. 566 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,480 Pick it up so I can look at your bum. 567 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,840 Phew! Wasn't expecting... 568 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,480 I wasn't expecting that! 569 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,960 I think I'll... I'm going to get it, actually. 570 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,440 Cor. 571 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:49,720 See you later. 572 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,080 SHE EXHALES 573 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,000 Come along, everybody, gather. 574 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,280 It's customary to say a few words, 575 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,680 be it a prayer or a favourite passage. 576 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,200 A prayer, verse or a phrase, then we can set her ablaze! 577 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,440 LAUGHTER 578 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,560 Thanks. 579 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,880 Bit of phlegm in my throat. 580 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,240 Um... 581 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:26,840 In these moments, I'm reminded of a passage from the Old Testament. 582 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,560 "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," 583 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:33,160 and I think what the Lord is driving at there 584 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,080 is he's inviting us to extrapolate that out, 585 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,520 away from just eyes and teeth 586 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,600 and towards all parts of us. 587 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:48,600 So, for example, a thigh for a thigh or a lung for a lung, 588 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,640 or a... Well, anyone...? 589 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,360 Lip. Lip would do it, yep. Lip for a lip. 590 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,640 Yeah. A womb? Womb for a womb. 591 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,360 Yes, one for the ladies. 592 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,000 But does God...? A chin. 593 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,280 Chin is excellent. 594 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,640 That's world-class. Yes, chin for a chin works a treat. 595 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:06,560 But does God literally want us to do harm to another 596 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,640 just because we have had harm done unto us? 597 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:11,680 ALL: Yes. 598 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:12,800 Going for yes? Yes. 599 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,360 Unanimously? Yes. 600 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,800 OK. 601 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,520 So, then... Er... Yeah. 602 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,040 Will this go on much longer? 603 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,520 Er, no, no, no. I'll just do my bit, then I'll get her lit. 604 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,600 One for you, Peter. 605 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,600 HE CHUCKLES 606 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,960 In these situations, I always like to thank the Lord 607 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,880 with a rendition of Are You Sleeping, Brother John? 608 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,800 What, the children's rhyme? 609 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,120 Yes. Well, how does Brother John pertain to Christ? 610 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,920 John was the... 611 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,560 ..fourth wise man. Often overlooked. 612 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,960 I think only three of them, in the end, 613 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,840 got the nod to visit the Christ Child. 614 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,320 John was sleeping, hence the song. 615 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,400 Um... 616 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,360 So, let's give that a whirl, shall we? 617 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:56,080 So, let's sing a round of Are You Sleeping, Brother John? 618 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,640 And let's start over here. So... 619 00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,160 # Are you sleeping...? # 620 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,480 # Are you sleeping, Brother John? # Just this quarter, for now. 621 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,200 And then at the back. 622 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,320 # Are you sleeping...? # Ready? # Are you sleeping, Brother John? # 623 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,520 And then... # Are you sleeping...? Are you sleeping? # 624 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,320 THEY SING ROUNDS And nice and loud, belt it out. 625 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,600 Chap in the felt hat. # Are you sleeping...? # 626 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,080 And then, eyes closed. 627 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,840 Eyes... 628 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,200 Close your eyes. 629 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,400 SCRUNCHED closed as if you're actually sleeping. 630 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,240 Peter knows what I'm talking about. 631 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,120 Eyes closed, little fella. 632 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:28,760 Even if I go quiet, keep your eyes closed. 633 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,400 Keep singing. 634 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,280 # Morning bells are ringing... # That's it. 635 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,880 # Morning bells are ringing 636 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,520 # Ding-dang-dong, ding-dang-dong Brother John, Brother John 637 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,840 # Are you sleeping, are you sleeping Morning bells are ringing 638 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,520 # Brother John, Brother John? Ding-dang-dong, ding-dang-dong 639 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,680 # Morning bells are ringing Morning bells are dinging... # 640 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,840 Let's go. There's dead women everywhere! 641 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,360 We should have stayed on the cart. 642 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:51,680 There's a lynch mob. They're maniacs. All of them. 643 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,160 I did tell you this before we came. 644 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,480 No, you jumped to a conclusion. 645 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,960 I arrived at a conclusion. 646 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,960 It just happens to be it was the same conclusion. 647 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,640 # Morning bells are ringing Morning bells are dinging 648 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,280 # Ding-dang-dong 649 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,160 # Morning bells are ringing Morning bells are dinging 650 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,440 # Ding-dang-dong... # 651 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,320 We need to move before anyone sees you. 652 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,120 You just don't want to lose your chance 653 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,720 to impress the Witchfinder General! 654 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,200 I'm no good to you dead, am I? 655 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,560 You stay here, you'll be cinders in an hour. 656 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:19,640 Do you want that? 657 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,200 Or do you want to take your chances in Chelmsford? Chelmsford. 658 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,440 Going somewhere, Mr Bannister? Do you know this woman? 659 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,080 Well, not... Well, this is... His wife. Ah. 660 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:40,000 # They went into her father's hall 661 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:44,320 # Lay the bent to the bonnie broom 662 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:48,880 # To play the harp before them all 663 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:53,000 # Fa-la-la-la la-la-la la la la 664 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:57,440 # But as they laid it on a stone 665 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:01,520 # Lay the bent to the bonnie broom 666 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,720 # The harp began to play alone... #