1 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:05,527 You know, a lot of people complain about March-- 2 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,051 mud season, taxes coming up-- but I love it. 3 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:11,359 St. Patrick's Day goes straight into March Madness. 4 00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:13,317 That goes straight into baseball. Boom! 5 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,450 Another beautiful spin around the sun. 6 00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,017 [chuckles] 7 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,540 I don't know why you're in such a good mood, Grampy. 8 00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,150 Your bracket was busted in the second round. 9 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,196 Well, change of strategy. 10 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:23,458 If I come in last, 11 00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,851 I get my money back and a hat. 12 00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,505 The hat says "Loser." 13 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,203 Hat's a hat. 14 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,684 Hazel, can I have some of your nachos? 15 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,904 I don't want to be a jerk, but I feel like the time to ask 16 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,775 for nachos was when the waitress was here. 17 00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,084 RILEY: Hey, Al. 18 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,912 Hmm?Ariana just walked in. 19 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:43,913 Really? 20 00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,480 How do I look? 21 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,611 Stunning. 22 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,048 Don't waste it on us. 23 00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:50,398 Mm.Oh, no, 24 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,182 is that Dirk? 25 00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:53,531 Who's Dirk? 26 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,359 Her spin instructor. 27 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:59,407 And possibly the number one seed in her boyfriend bracket. 28 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,018 I hate that guy. 29 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,412 It's March. Wear some sleeves. 30 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,417 I'm sorry, buddy. 31 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,722 I can't believe he chose her. 32 00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,420 What does he have that I don't? 33 00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,944 You wanted to be exclusive and she didn't. 34 00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,598 Maybe he's just rolling with it. 35 00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:19,514 That's true. She could be dating a lot of Dirks. 36 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,560 Okay, you got two options: 37 00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,606 you sit here hiding behind your menu 38 00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,825 or you go over there and make your stand. 39 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,393 I choose number two.Mm. 40 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,963 I choose number one. 41 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,053 ♪ 42 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,402 ♪ Oh! 43 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,458 [exhales] You know, Holly, 44 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:54,070 my cousin Zubair always says that if you want to get a woman, 45 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,246 never tell her what's in your heart-- 46 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,857 tell her what she wants to hear. 47 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,164 What's with him? 48 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,384 A girl he likes is dating her spin instructor. 49 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,171 Another Mr. Pibb. 50 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,651 No ice. 51 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,957 You're driving, right? 52 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,481 It's been a rough day. 53 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,918 He's written six poems, and not one of 'em rhymes. 54 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,920 Oh, there's rhymes. 55 00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:19,530 "His name is Dirk. 56 00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:21,184 "He spins for work. 57 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,968 "He wears no sleeves. 58 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,927 He is a jerk." 59 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,582 Cindy! 60 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,192 Come meet my friend Al! 61 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,977 Why?Just come here. 62 00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,024 Cindy, Al. 63 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,026 Al, Cindy. 64 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,333 Both of you guys are nursing broken hearts. 65 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,856 That one's my boyfriend. 66 00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,510 Don't talk to him. 67 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,297 Oh. I am sorry for your heartbreak. 68 00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:48,820 Thank you. 69 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,648 Want to go play pool? 70 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,737 [quietly]: Okay. You got this. 71 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,133 So who broke your heart? 72 00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,918 Her name is Ariana, 73 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:02,747 and she is the most beautiful woman in the world. 74 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,053 No. Second most. 75 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,446 The first one is my mother. 76 00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:06,664 Your mom's hot, huh? 77 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,188 What?To hot moms. 78 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,277 What are you drinking? 79 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,365 Mr. Pibb. 80 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,844 Oh, cool. I'm having Mr. Rum. 81 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,237 [both chuckle softly] 82 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,891 So, uh... 83 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,849 what happened with your boyfriend? 84 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,895 I don't know. 85 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:24,073 Things with Keith were magical from the very first date. 86 00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:26,467 Hmm.We went canoeing at sunset and... 87 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,904 well, it was so beautiful. 88 00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:32,299 Then it got dark and we couldn't find our way back, so we... 89 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,996 we screamed our lungs out all night 90 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:36,085 until a helicopter rescued us. 91 00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,826 [sighs] 92 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,524 Just like that helicopter found you, 93 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:43,092 love will find you again. 94 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,354 Wow, you're poetic. 95 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,748 You have no idea. 96 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:47,879 You want to make out? 97 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,925 Excuse me? 98 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,279 [quietly]: What? 99 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,676 [whistle blows over TV] 100 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,156 What are you doing? Shoot the damn ball! 101 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,116 March Madness ages you like a president. 102 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,206 You still drawing me? 103 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,773 Yeah. First round... 104 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,428 ...optimistic. 105 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,299 Second round, 106 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,649 things are getting wobbly. 107 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,608 Sweet 16, 108 00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,000 ugh. 109 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,960 And not to get ahead of myself, but... 110 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:31,793 I never should've paid for your art classes. 111 00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,577 [cheering on TV] 112 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:36,537 Whoo! Wait till you hear this. Yo, turn that off. 113 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:37,842 It's the Final Four! 114 00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,017 Al made out with a girl. 115 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,105 What? 116 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:43,631 So, Holly and I are shooting pool when I look over 117 00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:47,374 and this player is making out with a girl he just met. 118 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,071 Uncle Al, back on the board! 119 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,464 Oh, it was crazy! 120 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,552 Like someone else took over my face. 121 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,814 This someone's name is Cindy. 122 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,337 I-I didn't know what to do. 123 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,557 But then I thought maybe Ariana was kissing Dirk 124 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,732 at the same time...Mm-hmm. 125 00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,081 ...so I could do it, too. 126 00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:00,430 What do we know about Cindy? 127 00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,954 Friend of Holly's.Sounds legit. 128 00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:06,523 I have this sweet feeling from my head to my toes. 129 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,611 How did you leave it? 130 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:08,612 Intoxicated-- 131 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:09,613 her on Mr. Rum, 132 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,354 me on her kiss. 133 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,879 I need to go call my cousin Zubair. No, FaceTime. 134 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,752 I want to see the tears of jealousy on his cheeks. 135 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,407 Really? In front of everybody? 136 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,670 Yep.Can't believe I'm gonna ask this, 137 00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,019 but, um... 138 00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,150 is he a virgin? 139 00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,151 Oh, yeah. 140 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,937 Oh, no... 141 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,203 [chuckles] 142 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,118 What a wonderful day.[Riley chuckles] 143 00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,728 That wasn't your first kiss, though? 144 00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,600 No, no, no. Of course not. 145 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,341 Back home, I would steal a quick kiss 146 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,647 and then run away like a trickster.[chuckles] 147 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,736 Well, this one was not quick. 148 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,259 I played an entire game of eight-ball 149 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,349 while you guys were making out. 150 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,700 Have you ever met someone so wild and unpredictable? 151 00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,832 Yep.How'd it turn out? 152 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,400 With a beautiful baby named Hazel. 153 00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,142 Is there always so much tongue involved? 154 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,926 Eh, if you're lucky. 155 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:04,015 So, Riley, tell me-- what makes a person a good kisser? 156 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,801 There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to what we were doing. 157 00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:09,020 Oh, man. I mean, at the end of the day, 158 00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,674 you're never really gonna know, 159 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,677 so just assume that you're great at it and keep going. 160 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,810 Also works for karaoke. 161 00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:18,682 And how do you hold your breath that long? 162 00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,991 You held your breath? 163 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,559 There was one particularly long kiss 164 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,560 where I felt I was fainting. 165 00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:27,996 So I said, "Excuse me," 166 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,390 took a deep breath and went back to it. 167 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,435 Maybe you should practice. 168 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,871 Uh... 169 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,397 Yeah. Sit.Mm. 170 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,660 [inhales sharply, exhales] 171 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:42,140 You look beautiful tonight.Hmm. 172 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,968 Yeah, you do. 173 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,448 Stop it. 174 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,928 You do. 175 00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,847 Huh. 176 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,808 Oh, you're really good. 177 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,465 Uh, give it a try. [grunts][exhales] 178 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:05,468 There is one thing in life that is true. 179 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:09,298 My lips and my mouth belong to you. 180 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,431 [exhales] Come on. 181 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,521 Hmm? 182 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,179 [moans softly] 183 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,095 Take a breath. Ah.[inhales deeply] 184 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,183 That's it. 185 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,621 Better. 186 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:33,104 I can't decide between the bruschetta and the calamari. 187 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,019 Want to get both and we'll split? 188 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,020 Sure. 189 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,109 [soft piano music playing] 190 00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,939 RILEY: You guys gonna order 191 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,376 or just eat each other's faces all night? 192 00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,378 We'll get what you're getting. 193 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,858 No garlic. 194 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,383 So, what'd you do today? 195 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,865 Bought some stamps, took my car into the shop, 196 00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,780 got new brake pads and... 197 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,261 I'm sorry. I can't do this with them. Hey! 198 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,351 High school'sover.Oh. 199 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,048 Sorry. [chuckles]Sorry. 200 00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:07,791 [quietly]: I can kiss and breathe at the same time. 201 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,011 Hey, where are our drinks? 202 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,273 I don't know. 203 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,710 Maybe the waiter hates us for some reason. 204 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,451 Oh. Hey, Al. 205 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,844 You dare me to drink that guy's scotch 206 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:17,845 while he's in the bathroom? 207 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:18,846 No. 208 00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,587 Challenge accepted. 209 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,676 [laughing] 210 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,201 She wouldn't. 211 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,290 Oh, she would. 212 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,511 I was wrong. It was bourbon. 213 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,123 [Cindy chuckles] 214 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,428 Open your mouth.Mmm. 215 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:37,778 [laughs][chuckles] 216 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,651 So, new brake pads, huh? 217 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:47,091 So, what do you miss most about Afghanistan? 218 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,397 Oh, everything. 219 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,530 My mother, my friends, the food. 220 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,314 Ooh, what kind of food? 221 00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,577 There is a small kabobi shop in my neighborhood. 222 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,840 People wait for hours in line to get in. 223 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,494 And the lamb is so good, 224 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,975 when you put a bite in your mouth, it melts. 225 00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:04,021 Ooh. Do you think you could make that for me one night? 226 00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,980 I could try, but it would never be as good. 227 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,590 Oh, you're just being modest. 228 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,158 I am modest. It is a very good thing about me. 229 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,202 [chuckles] 230 00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:12,421 [gasps] Ooh. 231 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,771 You want to go swimming?What? 232 00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,731 That hotel has a pool on the roof. 233 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,254 Oh, you've stayed there?No. 234 00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,690 You just say you're on the third floor 235 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,300 and you left your key in the room. 236 00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,172 And if they ask you any questions, you start swinging. 237 00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:25,782 [chuckles] 238 00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:28,263 Uh, that sounds like it might be against the law. 239 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,830 Well, that's why it's fun. 240 00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:33,398 Uh, I'm not a citizen yet. 241 00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,749 If I get into any trouble, they can kick me out of this country. 242 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,838 Oh, okay.You know. 243 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:41,102 Well, you want to just go to my place and have sex? 244 00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,192 Oh, um... 245 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,021 [exhales]Oh, oh, you don't like me. 246 00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,763 No, I... I like you very much. 247 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,286 You don't think I'm pretty? 248 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,114 You are so pretty. 249 00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:54,724 Is it 'cause you're still hung up on that girl? 250 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,117 'Cause I don't mind. 251 00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,120 It's late. 252 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,774 Oh, all right. 253 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,558 [clears throat] 254 00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,304 I have never been with a woman. 255 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,350 Oh, I have. You should try it, it's great. 256 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,571 I just don'’t think I'm... 257 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,878 No, I-it's cool. 258 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:22,056 So, um... 259 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,927 So you're a virgin. 260 00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,755 Yes. 261 00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:28,671 Well, I wouldn't have expected it. 262 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:32,544 I mean, you're funny and hot and a great kisser. 263 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,641 All right, you talked me into it. 264 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,816 The sex? The swimming. 265 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,391 What are you guys doing up? 266 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:54,828 Waiting for Al. 267 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,220 He was just supposed to take Cindy home, 268 00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:57,874 but that was three hours ago. 269 00:10:57,918 --> 00:11:01,922 Well, for me, the second date is usually when... 270 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,924 nothing happens. 271 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:07,928 Thank you for sparing my delicate sensibilities. 272 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,104 [car door opens, shuts] 273 00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:12,193 Finally. 274 00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,716 Hi, Al. 275 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,413 Hi! 276 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,286 Why are you soaking wet? 277 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,722 We snuck into a hotel 278 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,332 and she pushed me into the swimming pool. 279 00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:22,464 We don't swim much in Afghanistan, 280 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,205 so I began to drown. 281 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,555 I saw death opening its mouth for me, 282 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,688 but then she scooped in like David Hasselhoff, 283 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:29,863 and we kissed. 284 00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:32,213 It was very romantic. 285 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,302 I made this for myself, but you earned it. 286 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,303 Ah. 287 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,957 Uh, then what happened? 288 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,915 A security guard came over and Cindy yelled at him 289 00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,090 until we got a free dessert. 290 00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,701 Oh, excuse me. 291 00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,877 My skin is starting to burn from the chlorine. 292 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,489 So, what do you think? Did he do it? 293 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,056 No, he's still the same height. 294 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,753 The first time you do it you grow two inches. 295 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,581 That's not true. 296 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,409 Should be. 297 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,805 Hey. Close the door. Close the door. 298 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,981 Yeah. 299 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,765 You won't believe what happened. 300 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,682 She wanted to have sex with me. 301 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,510 And did you? 302 00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:11,687 No. But I'm thinking about it. 303 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,167 Really? 304 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,125 You sure that's a good idea? 305 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,518 I don't know. 306 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,302 All my life I've been the good son. 307 00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,217 I've always followed rules. And here comes Cindy, 308 00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:23,612 who breaks all the rules, and I'm rethinking everything. 309 00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:28,486 Yeah, she might be a little... off. 310 00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,706 It's not just her. 311 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,753 Ariana is out there doing whatever she wants. 312 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:36,712 And so are you and Lizzie. Everyone but me. 313 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,410 I get that, but... 314 00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,804 maybe your first should be special. 315 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,285 Oh, yeah? How special was yours? 316 00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,678 Plenty. It was on a school trip 317 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,029 to Colonial Williamsburg. 318 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,205 A guy dressed like Benjamin Franklin caught us 319 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:55,296 and hit me with a kite. 320 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:58,168 That's a treasured memory. 321 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,867 I feel like you're trying to talk me out of this. 322 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,999 I just want you to understand 323 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:07,351 that sex is more than just physical. 324 00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:11,878 When two people are together... 325 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,749 it can be beautiful. 326 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,231 But it can also bring up a lot of... 327 00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:20,451 unexpected feelings. 328 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,845 Are you listening to yourself? 329 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,413 I'm trying not to. 330 00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:29,199 Listen, uh... I tried to find that special person 331 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,897 to fall in love with, and when I finally found her, 332 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,681 she rejected me. 333 00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,552 Riley, I've lived almost half my life. 334 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:35,989 How long should I wait? 335 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,555 I just want to make sure you're not compromising 336 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,819 stuff that matters because you're hurting. 337 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,691 I'm not. 338 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,649 But thank you. 339 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:46,782 Okay. 340 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,437 Now let's talk about protection. 341 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,568 [groans] 342 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,276 Mm. You have a lovely room. 343 00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:05,845 Oh. Well, it's your first time. I wanted it to be nice. 344 00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,589 Hey, do you mind if we talk a little bit first? 345 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,635 Sure. 346 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,289 Tell me more about yourself. 347 00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,987 Oh, um, well, 348 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,250 I'm a marine biologist. Ah. 349 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,296 I work at the aquarium. 350 00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:25,603 I bought a lot of candles today. I think you're all caught up. 351 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:26,909 [laughs] 352 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,694 Look at that. You're a marine biologist, 353 00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,219 I'm a Marine interpreter. 354 00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,438 Meant to be. [laughs] 355 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,750 So, where are you from? 356 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,578 Seattle. 357 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,623 Do you go home much? 358 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,973 Not if I can help it. 359 00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,757 My mom and I don't really get along. 360 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,846 Why? 361 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,500 'Cause she's a bitch. 362 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,589 Uh... 363 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,157 I can't understand how you can say that about your mother. 364 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,856 I can't understand why we're talking about my mother. 365 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,293 Where I'm from, 366 00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,687 mothers are revered like prophets. 367 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,123 We have a saying. 368 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,647 "Paradise lies beneath beneath a mother's feet." 369 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:13,956 Ooh, hey, talk dirty to me in Afghan. [chuckles] 370 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,176 I-I don't talk dirty. 371 00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:20,310 Oh, you're a bad, bad boy. [growls, laughs] 372 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,965 What? 373 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,489 Just trying to get you started. 374 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,752 [sighs] 375 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,278 We really don't know each other at all, do we? 376 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,410 I work at the aquarium, you can't swim. 377 00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,804 Opposites attract. It... 378 00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:38,981 Look, you are very beautiful. 379 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,549 Oh, let me guess. 380 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,725 You're gonna say we should just be friends. 381 00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:47,772 I wasn't, but that's a very good idea. 382 00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:54,954 I'm sorry. 383 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,916 I think I want the person I have sex with 384 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,050 to be someone I care about, somebody I really know. 385 00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:08,228 And maybe that will be you. 386 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,970 But it won't be tonight. 387 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,583 You know what's weird? 388 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:18,151 I believe you. 389 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,067 I'm telling you the truth. 390 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,330 I think that you are. 391 00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:26,986 I definitely am. I just said so. 392 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:32,556 Wow, this just makes me like you more. 393 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:37,518 Well, your reaction makes me like you more. 394 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,085 You want to make out? 395 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,912 Oh, now we're talking.[chuckles] 396 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,710 Awalmir. Hi. 397 00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,278 Uh, I'm not interrupting, am I? 398 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:01,020 No. Okay, good. 399 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:02,325 What's up? 400 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,197 I'm sorry I didn't call. I was driving home 401 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,722 from a friend's house, and thinking about you. 402 00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,115 Do I smell perfume? 403 00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:11,334 No. 404 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,293 But there's something I want to say. 405 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,730 All right. 406 00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:18,080 I want to date you. 407 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:20,996 I say that like I've changed my mind. 408 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,824 I've always wanted to date you. 409 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,131 But now I'm willing to do it your way. 410 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,394 My way? 411 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:29,613 You can see other people if that's what you want. 412 00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,920 Dirk. Someone less foolish than Dirk. 413 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,400 It's really none of my business. 414 00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:36,316 And why did you change your mind? 415 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,188 I've been thinking a lot about rules I set for myself, 416 00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:42,148 or other people set for me, and... 417 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,412 maybe there's more than one way to do things. 418 00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,937 Are you seeing other people? 419 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,810 That opportunity has presented itself. 420 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:58,512 Okay, well... 421 00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,992 I would love to go out with you. 422 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:03,169 Good. 423 00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:06,824 Would you like to come in? 424 00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:09,349 Do you ask a thirsty man if he wants water? 425 00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,526 Yes. That means yes. 426 00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:24,755 Good morning, Dugans. 427 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:27,715 Somebody's in the same clothes as last night. 428 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,020 Hazel, go to your room. 429 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,761 I did not spend the night 430 00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:32,676 at Cindy's.Never mind. 431 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,984 But I did spend the night with Ariana.Out! 432 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,509 Come on, Dad, I've been on this roller coaster 433 00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,032 since the beginning. 434 00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:43,992 Ariana's? How'd that happen? 435 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:48,649 I was going to have... cakewith Cindy, 436 00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,955 but I realized I really wanted to have cake with Ariana. 437 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,696 You want to just tell me later? 438 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,133 Sure. 439 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,313 So? 440 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,053 Did you and Ariana...No. 441 00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:03,359 We talked deep into the night 442 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,187 and watched the sun rise from her balcony. 443 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,407 Come on, you know that's not what I meant.Oh, I'm so sorry. 444 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540 We also drank so much tea I may never sleep again. 445 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,108 What about Cindy? She out of the picture? 446 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,718 Not necessarily. 447 00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:16,329 From now on, you will remember me 448 00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:20,246 as the man who dated two women at the same time. 449 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,465 Excuse me. 450 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:24,728 Where you going? 451 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,774 To tell Hazel. 452 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,603 So you didn't actually... 453 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:32,127 No. 454 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,565 It was as you said. It was too soon. 455 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:38,133 Okay. 456 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,440 But if my cousin Zubair asks, 457 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,182 I did, with both of them, on the same night. 458 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,707 Al's got more girlfriends than you. 459 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,578 It really is March Madness.