1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:04,700
Previously on
United States of Al...Ariana, bacheem,come here.

2
00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:06,876
Meet Awalmir
and his friends.Hello!

3
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,705
Hello.Awalmir has just
arrived from Kabul.

4
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,576
Ariana has an Afghan soul.

5
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,970
Don't forget you're dealing
with an American girl.

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,537
I will fill
your every day

7
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,017
with sweetness
when we are married.

8
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,801
Married?

9
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:21,369
Mm, that is what people do
when they are in love.

10
00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:23,240
We're not in love.
[chuckles]

11
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,937
HOLLY:
Cindy, Al.

12
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,809
Al, Cindy.

13
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:29,029
Both of you guys
are nursing broken hearts.

14
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,421
You want to make out?

15
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:31,770
Excuse me?

16
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:36,471
[quietly]:
What?

17
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,907
[sizzling]

18
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,082
Go ahead.

19
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,083
Say it.

20
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,259
Say, "Wow."

21
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:43,565
Wow.

22
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:44,609
LIZZIE, HAZEL, RILEY:
Wow.

23
00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:45,741
I know.

24
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,571
What is that scent?

25
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:50,833
Rose perfume.

26
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:51,834
Women love it.

27
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:54,010
That's why they wear it.

28
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,838
I think I know
what women like,

29
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,493
seeing I'm dating two of them
at the same time.

30
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:01,278
He's gotten really good at
working that into conversations.

31
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,671
Tell me about it.

32
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:05,108
Today, Cindy is taking me
to Niagara Falls.

33
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,588
That's a long drive.

34
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:07,893
Cindy said I'm worth it.

35
00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,112
She's reallyexcited.

36
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,592
She planned everything.

37
00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:11,984
It's as if I'm the girl.

38
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:14,900
Well, you certainly
smell like one.

39
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:17,077
You can't threaten
my masculinity,

40
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,295
because I am dating two women.

41
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,691
He's not really good
at working it in.

42
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,214
He just says it.

43
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,390
♪

44
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,783
♪ Oh!

45
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,360
♪

46
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,884
So, when are
your taxes due?

47
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,756
Tomorrow.

48
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,585
Interesting. And how long did
we have to do this assignment?

49
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,371
[sighs]
A year.

50
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,416
And you waited till
the last minute.

51
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:53,809
You know what my parents say?

52
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,593
They call this
natural consequences.

53
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:56,638
[scoffs softly]

54
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,205
You know
what else they say?

55
00:01:58,247 --> 00:01:59,815
Go play outside.

56
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:01,643
FREDDY:
How's it going?

57
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,211
Anybody need tea? Coffee?

58
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:06,300
Some fake receipts?

59
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,519
Thanks, honey.
We're doing okay.

60
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:09,912
They're not.

61
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,870
And they have no one
to blame but themselves.

62
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,352
Uh, not to be that guy,

63
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:16,919
but you wouldn't have
to file jointly

64
00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,400
if you two went ahead
and got a...

65
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,401
you know.

66
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:21,966
You can say "divorce."

67
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,752
I've noticed my parents
live in different houses

68
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,449
and date different people.

69
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:28,148
Freddy, why don't you
take Hazel someplace fun

70
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,366
so we can finish this.

71
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:31,934
Come on.

72
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:33,153
Where are we going?

73
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,545
The yarn store.

74
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:35,894
She said "fun," Freddy!

75
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,374
Yes, she did.

76
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,290
[door closes]

77
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,727
You know,
he has a point.

78
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,468
Why are we
still doing this?

79
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:48,385
Why don't we just make it
official and get a divorce?

80
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,171
Um...

81
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,042
I guess, no reason.

82
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,565
I mean, you're happy
with Freddy.

83
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,045
Somehow.[chuckles softly]

84
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,786
Right?

85
00:02:57,829 --> 00:03:00,441
Yeah. And you haven't
blown things with Holly yet.

86
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:01,833
Have you?[chuckling]

87
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,574
Amazingly, no.

88
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,969
I think you can file
for divorce online.

89
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,537
Yeah, one of my clients at the
salon has done it three times.

90
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,582
She makes bad choices
with her hair, too.

91
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,977
All right.
[inhales sharply]

92
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,718
Let's do it.

93
00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,199
Okay.

94
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,724
[chuckles softly]Geez.

95
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,552
Divorce andtaxes.

96
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:27,381
Yeah. Is there another miserable
thing we can do this weekend?

97
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,644
Well, you'll be watching
someone knit.

98
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:35,258
Wow, those buffalo wings
were spicy.

99
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:36,912
Are your lipsburning?

100
00:03:36,954 --> 00:03:37,956
I have no idea.

101
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,654
I can't feel them.

102
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,743
Let me see if I can.

103
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,789
[horn honking]

104
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,878
Go to hell, Beemer!

105
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,273
Uh, Cindy, I-I think
you missed a turn.

106
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,622
That says
"bridge to Canada."

107
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:52,928
Oh, that's where
we're going.

108
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,321
It's the best view
of the falls.

109
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,061
What? I-I can't go
to Canada.

110
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,933
You're gonna love it.
[chuckles softly]

111
00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,500
That's not the point.

112
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,066
I don't have
my green card with me.

113
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,590
Oh, shoot.

114
00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:05,549
Well, the Canadian side's
really the best side.

115
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,638
Don't worry.
We'll figure it out.

116
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,466
They're not
gonna let me in.

117
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:12,164
I'll hide you. Oh, there's
a blanket in the back seat.

118
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,862
I am not sneaking
over the border.

119
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,733
They will put me in jail.

120
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,474
Oh, I've been to jail. It's
not as bad as they make it seem

121
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,389
in the movies.
[chuckles softly]

122
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,956
We should turn around.

123
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,130
We're almost there.

124
00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,785
That's why we
should turn around!

125
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,439
Don't worry.

126
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:26,570
I got this.

127
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:28,355
Oh, wait.

128
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,617
Eat these.

129
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,140
What is it?Pot gummies.

130
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:33,403
I don't eat drugs!

131
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,319
All right, I will.
But you got to drive back.

132
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,886
Cindy, just throw them
out the window.

133
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,192
What if a squirrel eats 'em?
[gasps]

134
00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:42,151
That is irresponsible.

135
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,284
Let me out.Mm.

136
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,286
Too late.
Hop in the back.

137
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,334
Mm!

138
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,944
[whoops]

139
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,906
So we just sign these
and we're divorced?

140
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,603
Yep.

141
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:02,563
Oh. Thought it'd be a
little more complicated.

142
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,434
Well, we can make it
more complicated.

143
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,349
Mm, that's okay.[chuckles softly]

144
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,091
After you.

145
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,571
Thanks.

146
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,620
It's kind of weird, huh?

147
00:05:17,707 --> 00:05:18,883
Very.

148
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:21,799
[sighs]
Yeah.

149
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,149
[clears throat, sniffs]

150
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,629
[grunts softly]

151
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,243
Thank you.Mm.

152
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,293
[pen clicks, thuds]

153
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:39,643
[sighs]

154
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,297
That's it.

155
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,733
Yep.

156
00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:44,779
Now we
just mail 'em in and...

157
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,955
we're divorced.

158
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,043
Cool.

159
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,697
I mean, not cool.

160
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,220
[chuckles softly]But...

161
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:52,395
cool.

162
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:56,181
How you feeling?

163
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,661
Okay.

164
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,664
A little sad.

165
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,363
Me, too.

166
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:05,713
But I'm proud of us.

167
00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:09,804
This is way better than
with lawyers in a courtroom.

168
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,196
Agreed.

169
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,726
All right. Well...

170
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,510
I'll leave you to it.

171
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,477
Goodbye, ex-wife.

172
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,609
Goodbye, first husband.

173
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,045
[chuckles]

174
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:47,189
[sniffles]

175
00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:00,376
Al just pulled
into the driveway.

176
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,813
Oh, he spent the night
in Niagara Falls, huh?

177
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,467
I hope the little guy
didn't get married.

178
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,990
You think?

179
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,514
A buddy of mine got married
after visiting

180
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,124
the Baseball Hall of Fame.

181
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,692
Lot of emotion,
you get caught up.

182
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:14,782
Who is the poorest person
in the neighborhood?

183
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:17,001
Probably me. Why?

184
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,394
I promised God
I would give them money

185
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,787
if I survived
that date with Cindy.

186
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,877
Here's a dollar.

187
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,488
Well, you didn't get over
the falls in a barrel, did you?

188
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,534
She made me sneak into Canada
under a blanket

189
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:28,970
and back out in her trunk.

190
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,668
Why?Because the Canadian side
is prettier.

191
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,496
Can't argue with that.

192
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,107
I'm telling you,
Cindy is out of control.

193
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:39,371
What will our next date be?
Brunch and a bank robbery?

194
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,765
You gonna break up with her?

195
00:07:41,808 --> 00:07:43,724
Of course.
Why would I risk everything

196
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,813
with a woman like that
when I have Ariana?

197
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:48,076
Ariana is intelligent
and sensible.

198
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,730
She would never
make me wait four hours

199
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:52,472
at a Canadian truck stop
until she was "good to drive."

200
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,693
Now,

201
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,260
just me or does that
sound like a good time?

202
00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,957
Hell yeah.

203
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,527
Wow.

204
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,442
Yeah.

205
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,532
We just did that.

206
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:12,143
Yeah, we did.

207
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,405
Okay.

208
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,758
Okay.

209
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,847
What's that mean, "Okay"?

210
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,413
You said it first.

211
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,111
This doesn't mean you and I...No.

212
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:25,287
Oh, good, good.
We just...

213
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,115
We lost our minds.Totally.

214
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,464
It's 'cause we're
getting a divorce

215
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,335
and it brings up
feelings and...

216
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:33,600
Yeah, it's emotional
and we have so much history.Yeah.

217
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:36,907
And you are still
working out a lot.

218
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,518
Thank you.

219
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,825
You're also
extremely smoking.

220
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,741
Ugh. We are such idiots.

221
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:47,004
Hey. It's gonna be okay.

222
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,876
No, it's not.
Look at me.

223
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:51,792
This never happened.

224
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,620
We'll just go back to
the way things were,

225
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,883
except now we're divorced.

226
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,406
If we just hadn't hugged.

227
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,190
I was gonna shake your hand.
I really was.

228
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,888
Yeah, well, that's what
we're doing from now on.

229
00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,890
Fist bumps. Less touching.

230
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:05,806
Because Hazel can never
find out about this.

231
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,938
Oh, my God, Hazel.

232
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,810
She's gonna spend
the rest of her life

233
00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:11,681
hoping maybe
we'll get back together.

234
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,335
But she's never gonna find out

235
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,467
because we are not going
to tell anybody.

236
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,817
Not Freddy, not Holly.

237
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,515
Oh, God, Holly.

238
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,039
She's gonna run me
over with her truck.

239
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:25,129
Not if she doesn't know.

240
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,044
Right.

241
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,396
Okay.
[sighs]

242
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,794
I don't know if this is the
right time to bring this up,

243
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:41,798
but when you and I were
married and I cheated on you,

244
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,844
this is how bad I felt.

245
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,323
This is not the right time.

246
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,412
That's really clear to me now.

247
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,862
Hello, Cindy.

248
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,777
Hey, what are you doing here?

249
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,343
I wanted to talk to you.

250
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,562
Oh, hang on.

251
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,217
There's somebody
I want you to meet.

252
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,219
Can you give us just a minute?

253
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:14,135
Ronald, this is Al. Al, Ronald.

254
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:17,747
Oh, my God, a penguin.

255
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,749
Well, I've only seen
them in the movies.

256
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:20,794
Do you want to pet him?

257
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,317
Uh, will he bite me?Oh, no.

258
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,058
There are no land predators
in Antarctica,

259
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,016
so they never learned
to fear people.

260
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,540
Oh, Ronald,
you are so naive.

261
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,107
Oh...

262
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:31,761
Wow.

263
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,199
So soft.

264
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:36,723
Can I take a selfie with him?

265
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,638
I can make a lot of people
jealous back home.

266
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:39,726
Sure.

267
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,336
[grunts softly]
Ronald.

268
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:43,033
Say "fish."

269
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:48,517
Oh, that's a good one.

270
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,955
Oh, wow. Mm.

271
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:55,742
This, this is amazing.

272
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,700
Did you always want
to be a marine biologist?

273
00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:00,485
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
ever since I was a kid.

274
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,705
I could only afford
to take one class at a time,

275
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,272
so my degree took years,

276
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:07,144
but now I get to spend every day
in a place like this.

277
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,798
Hmm.

278
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:11,714
AL:
I've never been
to an aquarium before.

279
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,239
I've never even seen the ocean.

280
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,764
Oh. Oh, it's
the most amazing thing.

281
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,896
Hmm.Oh, when you go diving,

282
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,116
you're just in this
infinite space

283
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:24,422
that stretches on
in every direction and...Hmm.

284
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,337
...it makes you feel
how small you are

285
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:29,558
but also how lucky you are
to even be a tiny part

286
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:32,822
of this endless,
unknowable world.

287
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:36,957
Oh, I'm sorry.

288
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,654
You had something
you wanted to say.

289
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,264
Uh-uh.

290
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,361
Why don't you just use a spoon?

291
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,450
Celery is healthier.

292
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,757
Hey, where you been?

293
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,063
Uh, you know, just...

294
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:58,326
just run-run-running
some errands.

295
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,068
Where?Store.

296
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,070
"Store"?Couple stores.

297
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:05,812
Huh.

298
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,944
Is it wrong to have
second thoughts about a woman?

299
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,903
What? No. What?

300
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,688
Like, you thought
you were done with her

301
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,735
but suddenly you're not so sure?

302
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,434
I got to...

303
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,917
Hmm.

304
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,093
So, did you break up
with Cindy or not?

305
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:27,616
I didn't want to.

306
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,618
She is a beautiful person.

307
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,794
Tender, curious, passionate.

308
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,840
She let me touch her penguin.

309
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,670
My life with Cindy
would be filled with adventures.

310
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,368
Things I never
even dreamed about.

311
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:42,544
I take back everything
I said about her this morning.

312
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,764
I want to drive around
in the trunk of her car

313
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,592
for the rest of my life.

314
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:50,117
So you're back to being
a two-woman man?

315
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,901
[sighs]
Cindy's world is so expansive,

316
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,555
it is filling my whole heart.

317
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,165
I think I am in love
with this woman.

318
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,036
If I have
a moment free,

319
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,777
I want to spend it with her.

320
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,474
So you're gonna break up
with Ariana?

321
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,606
Hmm? I have to.

322
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:06,263
Hmm, I think I am like
a penguin: I mate for life.

323
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,787
I learned that at the aquarium.

324
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,614
You push a button,
and it tells you things.

325
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:19,581
Love is complicated.

326
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,105
Just when you think
you know the path you are on,

327
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,891
the ground shifts
beneath your feet.

328
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,457
Has that ever happened to you?

329
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:27,632
Nope.

330
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,721
Really? "Nope"?

331
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,158
I'm breaking up
with my first love,

332
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,421
and the best I get
from you is "nope"?

333
00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:35,902
Yep.

334
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,730
Something is different
about you.

335
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,256
What is it?

336
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,692
What is what?

337
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,262
You're nervous.

338
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,090
You have something to hide.

339
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,048
We share everything.

340
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:55,269
What would you not
share with me?

341
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:59,142
Leave it alone. Geez.

342
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,886
Where were you this morning?

343
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,148
I was out.

344
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,585
Riley.

345
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,196
I was at Vanessa's.

346
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:12,155
Did you get in a fight?

347
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,461
No.

348
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,812
You didn't.

349
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,858
[whispers]:
Lower your voice.

350
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,990
[gasps]

351
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,905
Ah, you did.

352
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,865
It was crazy.

353
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,518
All right? It just happened.

354
00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:28,693
It was a mistake.

355
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,086
Did you think
about Holly?

356
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,174
Obviously, I didn't
think about Holly.

357
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,175
Are you gonna tell her?

358
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:33,655
No, I can't tell anyone.

359
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:36,136
And for the record,
I did not tell you.

360
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,659
I'm a student
of the human condition.

361
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:40,444
That is not your fault.

362
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,142
Seriously, Hazel cannot
find out about this.

363
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,795
Okay? It'll ruin her life.

364
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,885
No, it won't.

365
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:49,192
Her family, which has been
split, will be made whole.

366
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,368
Vanessa and I are not
getting back together.

367
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,370
So promise me you will not
tell a single person.

368
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,285
Uh, Riley, I promise.Okay.

369
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:58,288
But I do think this is a sign
that you love Vanessa

370
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,508
and you should be
reunited with her.

371
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,423
I'm so glad you two
never got divorced.

372
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,554
We got divorced this morning.

373
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,121
I'm gonna need some air.

374
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:14,043
Al, this is my favorite place
in the world.

375
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:17,394
A bar?Not just a bar. My soccer bar.

376
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,962
I watch every
Barcelona game here.

377
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,617
Are you serious?
Barcelona is my favorite team.

378
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,968
Well, then you are
gonna love this.

379
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,013
A real jersey.

380
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,318
With my name on the back.

381
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,059
Oh, I love it.

382
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:32,279
What would you have done if
I was not a Barcelona fan?

383
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:34,194
Dumped you.

384
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,109
Goal!
Goal!
[cheering]

385
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,374
Hold on, my people need me.Uh-huh.

386
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:44,204
CROWD [chanting]:
Ole-le, Ola-la,

387
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:47,729
being a Barça fan
is the best thing there is!

388
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,513
[cheering]

389
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,995
[both sigh]

390
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,345
Ariana, I did not realize
you were such a soccer fan.

391
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,608
Aw, there's a lot
of stuff about me

392
00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,828
that you don't know.Oh?

393
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:01,003
Like what?

394
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:03,179
I'm a really great kisser.

395
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,014
What's wrong?

396
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,798
What do you mean?

397
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,626
You usually kiss me
like you're trying

398
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:18,064
to eat your way to
the back of my head.

399
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:23,373
[sighs] Holly, I got
to tell you something.

400
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:24,809
What?

401
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:28,335
[exhales]

402
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,511
I slept with someone.

403
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:32,817
Who?It doesn't matter.

404
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,602
It was Sourpuss Barbie,
wasn't it?

405
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,997
It was a mistake.
We signed our divorce papers,

406
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,390
and it was weird and final,
and our brains short-circuited,

407
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,740
and it will never happen again.

408
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,570
Okay.

409
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:47,876
So we're good?

410
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,052
Oh, we are not good at all.

411
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,315
But I was honest with you.
That has to count for something.

412
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:53,925
You want credit?

413
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,493
I mean, a little.

414
00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,497
As a courtesy, I'm not
gonna punch your teeth in.

415
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,109
There's your credit.
Thanks for stopping by.

416
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,067
Come on, Holly.No, we're done.

417
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,808
I know, I messed up. I...You're starting
a lot of sentences

418
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:08,114
with the word "I."

419
00:17:08,156 --> 00:17:10,071
Here's an "I" for you.

420
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:12,988
I got a bunch of phone numbers
when I was away on reserves,

421
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,469
and I threw them all away.

422
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,992
Because I was dumb enough
to trust you.

423
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:22,214
[exhales]

424
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,304
I am so sorry.

425
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:26,828
Me, too.

426
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,970
Oh, I may have left some stuff
in your bedroom...

427
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,374
[sighs]

428
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:54,551
Look at us. Men of the world.

429
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,423
Love, loss.

430
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:59,817
The full spectrum
of the human experience.

431
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,602
Okay, you don't have
to say everything

432
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,038
that pops in your little head.

433
00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,476
I think you may have
done what you did

434
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,217
because you truly want
to be with Vanessa.

435
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,566
I don't.

436
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,873
Sometimes our desires
are not clear to us.

437
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,397
For example, when I thought
I wanted to break up with Cindy.

438
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,704
Or I wanted to break up
with Ariana.

439
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,619
Gosh, those are
two special ladies.

440
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:22,231
Maybe you should go hang
out with one of them.

441
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,406
Ah.

442
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:26,061
I will not leave your side.

443
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,282
When you are sad, I am sad.

444
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:32,067
You want to try that again
without that ridiculous grin?

445
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:39,292
When you are sad, I am sad.

446
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:54,481
Babe, you home?
I got a surprise for you.

447
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:57,005
There's my man.
[chuckles]

448
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,355
Do you want it now, or do you
want it later? Say now.

449
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:01,879
Mm. Now, definitely now.

450
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,707
I made it myself.

451
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:07,015
Aw. How did you knit this
whole thing without me knowing?

452
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,973
I'm pretty sneaky.

453
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:12,063
[laughs] Okay, I'm gonna go
try it on in the light.

454
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,456
The light's pretty good here.

455
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,545
Oh, no, the light's
way better in the kitchen.

456
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,460
It's where I try on
all my clothes.

457
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,289
Oh, I guess I see it.[chuckles]

458
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:30,081
I love the stripes.

459
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:32,214
[laughs]
Mm.

460
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:42,833
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

461
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:43,878
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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