1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,371 Daddy! 2 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,371 There's my girl! 3 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:05,638 (grunts) 4 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:05,638 Hey, Grampy. 5 00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:06,673 Hey, Hazelnut! 6 00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:06,673 (door closes) 7 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:07,674 Hello, Vanessa. 8 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:08,908 Hey, Al. Hey, everybody. 9 00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:11,044 Hazel, there's someone really special I want you to meet. 10 00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,445 You remember we talked about Uncle Al? 11 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,614 He was my interpreter in Afghanistan. 12 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,317 And now he's bunking with me in the garage. 13 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:18,318 Hello. 14 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:19,686 Hello. 15 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,422 Hazel, can you say " tsanga yee "? 16 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,557 That is how we greet people in my country. 17 00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:25,725 Tsanga yee. 18 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,527 There. Now you speak more Pashto 19 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:28,528 than your father. 20 00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:31,197 (exhales) Wow. 21 00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:33,700 Look at you. You are such a big girl. 22 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,035 I can still remember the day you were born. 23 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,404 You were this little. 24 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,805 Mom says you saved Dad's life. 25 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,073 That is true. 26 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,174 Many times. 27 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,709 He was like a drunken baby 28 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,577 walking around a sharp coffee table. 29 00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:46,279 (chuckling) 30 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:49,682 Did you know that your Uncle Al is also your godfather? 31 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:51,751 Which some might say is even more important 32 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:53,420 than an actual father. 33 00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:55,288 Mm, no one says that. 34 00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:57,690 Don't be jealous. You're better than that. 35 00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:59,392 Here. 36 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:02,462 Hazel, I brought you a special present. 37 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:05,665 My mother made you this dress with her own hands. 38 00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:10,069 Hmm. 39 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:11,838 It must have shrunk while I waited three years 40 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,607 for the U.S. government to stamp my paperwork. 41 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:17,544 What do you say, Hazel? 42 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,179 I think I can make it work. 43 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,680 Hazel, 44 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,849 as soon as I get my driver's license, 45 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,485 I am going to take you shopping and we are going to buy you 46 00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,821 many dresses that are the same size as you. 47 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:28,822 Can you get me a dirt bike? 48 00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:29,856 Yes. 49 00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:29,856 No. 50 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,291 No. 51 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,695 But if ever you have a problem 52 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:39,132 and you cannot go to your mom or dad, 53 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:40,767 you can come to me. 54 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,702 As your godfather, 55 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,137 I will protect you 56 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:45,171 and care for you 57 00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:47,240 for the rest of my life. 58 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,711 Wow, will you be my godfather, too? 59 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:55,448 Hey, hey, hey. Get your own. 60 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:58,117 ♪ ♪ 61 00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,452 ♪ Oh! ♪ 62 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,296 Okay, next question. 63 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,296 Mm-hmm. 64 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,764 For better visibility while driving 65 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,666 in rain, fog or snow, 66 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,335 you should keep your blank on. 67 00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:16,436 Pants. 68 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,139 The answer is low beams. 69 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:21,341 Not as funny. 70 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:23,209 (computer chimes) 71 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,292 Huh? 72 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,170 Huh? 73 00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:00,680 Short? 74 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:09,856 Pepper shaker. 75 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,525 Huh? 76 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,231 What'd she say? 77 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,300 I am her favorite son. 78 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,203 Hey, what about me? 79 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,740 Hello, Riley Jaan. 80 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,742 Salaam, Khala Jaan. 81 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:37,951 What'd she say about me? 82 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:41,521 You look fatter than she remembers. 83 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,293 Ooh, this is a good one. 84 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,293 Mm. 85 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,530 Which is the most significant factor in nighttime crashes? 86 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,465 A, small-town speed traps, 87 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,334 B, fatigue, C... 88 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,336 It is B-- fatigue. 89 00:03:56,402 --> 00:04:00,406 In America, fatigue contributes to 20% of nighttime crashes. 90 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,808 That is not in the book. 91 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:04,344 I looked that up in case there is extra credit. 92 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,679 There isn't. 93 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,681 Hmm. Then it will make an interesting fact 94 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,617 to fill gaps in conversation. 95 00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:13,553 Where are my keys? 96 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:14,554 (jangling) 97 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,556 Seriously? 98 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:17,991 You know, Riley, 99 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,426 I have noticed that you drive too close to cars. 100 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,761 No, I don't. 101 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,263 You must always be three Mississippis away. 102 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,032 Do you even know what Mississippi is? 103 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,767 A state and a river 104 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,269 and a rule for safe driving that you never follow. 105 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,573 Oh, please. I'm a great driver. 106 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,441 Been doing it since I could reach the pedals. 107 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:36,476 Okay. 108 00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,277 Well, did you know, in Ohio, 109 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,680 you are legally required to honk when you pass another car? 110 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,482 That's not true. 111 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,482 That's stupid. 112 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,450 Look on the bottom of page 30. 113 00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,319 No, this is just one of his crazy things, 114 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:47,954 like how he thinks when you step on a shard of glass, 115 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,889 it'll get in your heart and you'll die. 116 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,591 That is not crazy. 117 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,559 It is very dangerous. 118 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,964 Son of a bitch, you are supposed to honk. He's right. 119 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,632 Get used to it. 120 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,679 Hey. Look at your own test. 121 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:13,913 No, no, it was her. 122 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,382 And the child is right. 123 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,385 Screw you. I'm not a child. 124 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,054 No talking. 125 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,789 Thank you. 126 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,706 You here to get your license? 127 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,040 I have an out-of-state one, so... 128 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,608 yeah. 129 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,608 Mm. 130 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,712 Yeah, I've been out of state myself recently. 131 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,881 Afghanistan. 132 00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:52,919 Oh. Marines. 133 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:58,024 Fighting for freedom. 134 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,359 Thank you for your service. 135 00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,595 Yeah. Let's talk about that. 136 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,031 Riley, Riley, Riley. 137 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,567 I passed. 100%. 138 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:08,634 That's great, buddy. 139 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:09,635 Eh, technically, 140 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:10,803 they said I got one wrong, 141 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,905 but I said they got one wrong. 142 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,908 Hey, could you give me a minute here, Al? 143 00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:16,976 Sure. 144 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,045 He is married, by the way. 145 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,616 We're separated. 146 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,119 English is not his first language. 147 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,125 (grunting softly) 148 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,395 (exhaling) 149 00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,531 Are you Awa... 150 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,466 Awal... 151 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,734 This name? 152 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,936 Yes. That is me. 153 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:46,806 Thank you. I'm Paula. I'll be your examiner today. 154 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,141 Ah. 155 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,141 Are you ready? 156 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,076 Absolutely, Paula. 157 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,149 (seat belt clicks) 158 00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,853 Is everything okay? 159 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,922 Yes. Of course. 160 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,590 Do you have your permit? 161 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,859 Yes, of course. 162 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,563 Well, can I have it? 163 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:11,898 Oh, yes. Sorry. (chuckles) 164 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,203 Oh. 165 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,841 Ah. I was looking for this. (chuckles) 166 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,176 Mm. 167 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,949 Okay. Why don't you put it in drive and slowly pull out. 168 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,517 (heart beating rapidly) 169 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,055 (muffled): Take off the parking brake. 170 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,460 Hello? 171 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,529 (clearly): Mr. Awa-wa? 172 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,131 Are we doing this? 173 00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:47,700 Oh, yes. Uh, I-I am so sorry. 174 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,901 Um... 175 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,901 (chuckles softly) 176 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,903 (engine starts) 177 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:55,575 (crash) 178 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,784 Did you know that fatigue 179 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,687 contributes to 20% of nighttime crashes? 180 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:08,721 I did. 181 00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,656 Me too. 182 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,964 Come on, man. Just tell me what happened. 183 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:20,566 It is not important. I-I will pay for the damage. 184 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,135 Or I will fix it myself. I have a hammer in my pocket. 185 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,806 (exhales) I'm not worried about my truck. 186 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,074 I want to know what happened back there. 187 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,675 Nothing. I-I do not know. 188 00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:31,277 Maybe I'm just a bad driver. 189 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,778 What are you talking about? Dude, I've seen you drive 190 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,280 through a mortar attack. And even under fire, 191 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,716 you used your turn signals. 192 00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:39,552 She was wearing shorts. 193 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,787 Who? 194 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,787 The woman. The test woman. 195 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,089 Okay. So? 196 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,957 I-I could not focus. I could not concentrate. 197 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,959 I-I did not know what to do. 198 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,028 Well, what do you normally do when you see a woman's legs? 199 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,731 I have never seen a woman's legs. 200 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:53,532 Never? No. 201 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:53,532 No. Yes. 202 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,768 No. 203 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,768 Yes. 204 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:57,270 (sighs) 205 00:08:58,237 --> 00:08:59,772 What about your sister? 206 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,908 How dare you. 207 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,611 You've seen legs in, like, movies and stuff. 208 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,246 Yes, but these were real. 209 00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,948 The woman was so close, I could touch her. 210 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,182 Oh, please tell me you didn't touch her. 211 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,050 (groans) 212 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,560 (inhales) 213 00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,796 Hey. Don't feel bad, Al. 214 00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:26,732 It took me, like, five times to pass my driving test. 215 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,634 Once, I was high. 216 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:31,671 Once, I flunked on purpose to piss off my dad. 217 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:35,574 And the rest were for just being a lousy driver. 218 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,643 The system works. 219 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,914 Can we not talk about this right now? 220 00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:44,150 Mm. Mm. 221 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,791 So, what happened? 222 00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:56,662 I think the instructor did not like me. 223 00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:57,763 That's impossible. 224 00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:58,898 I'm gonna call the BMV 225 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,266 and give 'em a piece of my mind. 226 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,134 Please do not do that, Mr. Art. 227 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,134 Why not? 228 00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,804 The woman that gave you the test clearly had an ax to grind. 229 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,006 She had no ax. 230 00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:09,241 She was wearing shorts. 231 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,247 Say again? 232 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,183 She was wearing shorts. 233 00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,919 So? 234 00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,919 So I almost had a heart attack. 235 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,821 Well, didn't you once charge a bunch of Taliban 236 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:23,689 while your whole squad was retreating? 237 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,858 The Taliban were wearing pants. 238 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,995 And Marines don't retreat. 239 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,197 We advance in a different direction. 240 00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:34,767 Okay, I'm trying really hard to understand here. 241 00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:34,767 Mm. 242 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:37,703 You failed your test because the woman had legs? 243 00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,839 And I could see them. 244 00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,839 But you're wearing shorts. 245 00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:41,173 But it's different. 246 00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:41,173 How? 247 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,942 Um, I do not know. It just is. 248 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,910 Because you're a man? 249 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,910 Yes, thank you. 250 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,312 Because I'm a man. 251 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,348 That's completely hypocritical. 252 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,984 No, it is not. My legs do not inspire lust. 253 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,086 You don't know that. 254 00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:58,991 Do they? 255 00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,159 (snorts) No. 256 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,894 (laughing): Yeah, no. 257 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,763 (laughs) I'm sorry, buddy. 258 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,865 (laughing) 259 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,101 (knocking) 260 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,369 It's open. 261 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,671 Hey. 262 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,874 What you drawing? 263 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,442 You don't care. You just need something. 264 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,877 Okay, I need a favor. 265 00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:20,012 See? 266 00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:24,717 Would you mind toning down the stuff you wear around the house? 267 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,919 What do you mean by "toning down"? 268 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,789 Oh, just, like, different clothes. 269 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,924 Or more of them. 270 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:36,462 Yeah, actually, I would. 271 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,097 Come on. It's for Al. 272 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,298 Did he put you up to this? 273 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,866 No, this is all on me. 274 00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:43,335 Ah, that's explains why it's stupid. 275 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,939 Come on, just for a little while? 276 00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,841 I want him to be comfortable. 277 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,810 Don't you care if I'm comfortable? 278 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,044 Please don't make this a big deal. 279 00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,446 Too late. You made it one. 280 00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:54,914 I'm just asking you to wear pants 281 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,449 and long sleeves around the house. 282 00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:58,117 Hey, if that's the deal, 283 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:02,054 I'm asking you to wear a tutu and clown shoes. 284 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:04,323 Okay, let's just start over. 285 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,158 Good idea. Get out of my room. 286 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,796 I just... 287 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,796 No. 288 00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,839 Ah... 289 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,841 Still thinking about those legs? 290 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,742 They were so smooth 291 00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,112 and they smelled like coconuts. 292 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,214 Wait till you see boobs. 293 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,850 Your head's gonna fall off your shoulders. 294 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:33,085 Hey, uh, 295 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,488 just so you know, I had a little talk with Lizzie 296 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:36,856 and told her that some of her clothes 297 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,324 might make you uncomfortable. 298 00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,860 Oh, I wish you had not done that. 299 00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,860 Relax. 300 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,394 She hasn't done anything I've asked her to do 301 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:44,230 since she was a little girl, and I told her "jalapeño" 302 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:46,499 was Spanish for candy. 303 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,868 Riley, I do not want your sister to think I believe 304 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,236 women should cover their legs. 305 00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:51,504 You don't? 306 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:53,139 No! I want to see their legs. 307 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:55,541 What fool would not like to see a woman's legs? 308 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,010 I can think of one fool 309 00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:00,045 who put a giant dent in the back of my truck. 310 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,215 Riley, you spent all that time 311 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,151 training for battle. 312 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,151 Uh-huh. 313 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,086 But the first time someone shot at you, 314 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,988 were you ready? 315 00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:10,923 No. 316 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:14,059 And it was different than a movie. 317 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,163 Okay, I see what you mean. 318 00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:18,864 You just got to get used to it. 319 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,033 Yes. 320 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,935 Ooh, we might want to get on that fast. 321 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,870 Summer's coming. 322 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,870 What do you mean? 323 00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,972 Google "Daisy Dukes." 324 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,545 (exclaims) They go shorter?! 325 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:38,918 Hello, Mr. Art. 326 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,419 Hey! How you doing? 327 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,154 I have been better. 328 00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:45,424 Well, listen, don't feel bad. 329 00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,328 You know, this one time 330 00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,330 I was, um, walking down the street, 331 00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:55,134 saw this attractive woman. (chuckles) 332 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,970 Real nice, you know. Eh. 333 00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:00,940 Don't want to say anything to upset you, but... 334 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,108 Let's just say she had big cans. 335 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,278 So I'm staring at her, and I don't notice 336 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,281 there's an open cellar door in the sidewalk. 337 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:12,418 I tumble in, land on a pallet of peaches. 338 00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:14,420 (laughs) 339 00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:15,988 I'm too embarrassed to come out, 340 00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:18,924 so I just lie there a while, you know... 341 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,259 eating peaches. 342 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,259 (laughs) 343 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,363 Finally, I figure the coast is clear. 344 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:28,567 So I crawl out, and that's when I realize 345 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,369 both my legs are broken. 346 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:37,109 Al, the point is don't feel bad. 347 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:40,012 And don't eat more than three or four peaches at a time. 348 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,647 You'll pay for it later. 349 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,517 I am sorry for bringing problems into your home. 350 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,953 I cannot help but feel that I am a bad guest. 351 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:51,357 Oh, whoa, whoa, let's get something straight here, okay? 352 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:55,027 You are not a guest. You're family. 353 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,296 Thank you. 354 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,602 I am afraid that I have offended Lizzie. 355 00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,506 So what? 356 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,341 Well, I am afraid that 357 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,143 Riley offended Lizzie on my behalf. 358 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:14,113 That I would put ten bucks on. 359 00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:17,016 I think I better go straighten things out. 360 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,451 All right, suit yourself. 361 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,958 I think I have some peach schnapps. 362 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,598 (knocking) 363 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,598 Come in. 364 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,999 AL: Uh, could you please come out? 365 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,640 What? 366 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:42,975 I would like to talk to you. 367 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,943 Okay. Come in. 368 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:47,946 No, thank you. 369 00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,349 Suit yourself. 370 00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:54,720 Wh-Where I grew up, being in a single woman's bedroom 371 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,022 would be disrespectful to her father. 372 00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:59,191 Not to worry, my father doesn't respect me. 373 00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:03,996 It's just a room. 374 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,398 Okay. 375 00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,572 Hmm. Very nice. 376 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,541 Thank you. 377 00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:16,709 What are you drawing? 378 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:19,478 Ah, nothing. 379 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,048 Lizzie... 380 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:25,517 at dinner you said I was a hypocrite. 381 00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:28,620 You were right. 382 00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,589 For me, wearing shorts is no big deal, 383 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,659 but seeing a woman wearing them is. 384 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,361 And that is a double standard. 385 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:37,663 It sure is. 386 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,766 And perhaps I was being unfair to myself. 387 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,402 Maybe my legs can inspire lust. 388 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,074 Maybe. 389 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,079 But I want you to understand, 390 00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:56,682 I would never tell you how to dress. 391 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,250 That is what the Taliban does, 392 00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,452 and I spent years fighting them. 393 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:04,623 Of course you did. How could I forget that? 394 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,625 Well, do not blame yourself, even I lose track of 395 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,094 all the great things I've done. 396 00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:11,697 I'm sorry I judged you at dinner. 397 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,165 That was not fair. 398 00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,334 Thank you. 399 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,436 Do you want to know something else about me? 400 00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:19,238 Always. 401 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:22,107 Until I walked into this room, 402 00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:25,077 I had never seen a woman lying on a bed before. 403 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,545 Really? 404 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,048 Really. 405 00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:33,285 That is so hard for me to wrap my head around. 406 00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:37,089 So now you know how I feel. 407 00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:39,658 I guess so. 408 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,264 Can I give you a hug? 409 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,264 Definitely not. Good night. 410 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,809 (speaking Pashto) 411 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,785 Look who's back. 412 00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:09,354 Mr. Awa... Awal... 413 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,557 Hello, Paula. 414 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:12,558 Are you ready? 415 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:13,859 Yes. 416 00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:20,098 I like your shorts. 417 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:22,267 I am wearing shorts also. 418 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,837 Yep. 419 00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:27,272 All right, why don't you put it in drive. 420 00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,807 Mm-hmm. 421 00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,807 That's the "D" one. 422 00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,510 And then pull out. Forward. 423 00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:32,811 That direction. 424 00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:36,148 Yes, thank you. 425 00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:38,250 (engine starts) 426 00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:38,250 Ah. 427 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,861 Excellent. 428 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,861 Mm. 429 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,462 We're almost done. 430 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,297 Just take a left at this intersection. 431 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,799 Mm-hmm. 432 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,503 Paula, what is the coolest car you have been in? 433 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:00,873 A '63 Corvette Stingray. Mint condition. 434 00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:03,842 I'm a Toyota Corolla man myself. 435 00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:06,712 1997, any condition. 436 00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:20,459 Want your car washed? 437 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,464 No, thanks. 438 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,866 Okay. 439 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:31,803 If I run this red light, will I fail my test? 440 00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:33,405 Absolutely. 441 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,674 Okay, okay... 442 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:43,348 It is a very long light.